I downed a pint of diesel – 16th March 2001

Friday 16th
2 weeks + 6 days to go!

It’s Red Nose Day today so a group of my mates went round collecting money for a ‘Shavathon’! If we raised over £100 for Comic Relief then Floyd would shave his legs, Isaac would shave his beardy thing off and Denny would shave his chest hair! We did manage to raise much more than that so they’ve promised they’ll do their shavings over the weekend!

I’ve got a bit worried again cos now the top part of my left foot seems to have lost some sensation too. It’s not completely numb and I don’t notice it all the time but it’s still enough to trigger my worrying.

We got our Geography module exam results back today. I’m really pleased cos I got a high B in the exam I took in January and an A in my coursework project! 🙂 Unfortunately, Sarah didn’t do so well so I felt a bit guilty smiling when I got my result. She got a B in her project but completely failed the exam. She said she knew she hadn’t done particularly well but didn’t think she’d done that badly.

She got all upset so Mrs C let her leave the lesson. I got to leave too so I could comfort her, I suppose. She was okay after a while cos, even if she fails all her summer exams, she’ll get an E which is at least a grade. If I fail all my other exams, I’ve got a D already which I could live with but hopefully that won’t be happening.

Jake phoned at about 4:30ish today. He said he’s really pleased for me about my Geography. He was saying how he’s not bought much while he’s been there except for a pair of shorts to play football in but he says he’ll get me a present for when he gets home.

He was telling me about how he was skiing with an instructor nicknames ‘Hollywood’ cos he’s been on TV and in Britney Spears videos and stuff. He said all the girls were really jealous and were asking questions all the time about him cos apparently he’s a bit of a babe!

We started talking about when we first see each other today and where we’re going to meet and stuff. Jake says he doesn’t want to meet in a public place really cos he’s probably going to cry when he sees me. That’s so sweet!

A big group of us did The Run [a pub crawl] again tonight but with a difference. Seeing as it’s Comic Relief, we took our Shavathon collection bucket with us and to attract a bit of attention, a few of us wore school uniform. Sarah was driving which I was pleased about cos if there were loads of pervy old men then we could drive away quickly and get changed!

Sarah ended up giving a select few of us lifts between pubs and, not surprisingly, they were all lads apart from me. At one point in The Mossland car park, there was me, Sarah, Robbie, Drew and Gaz S waiting for the others to arrive, just sitting in the car. I can’t remember how it came up but Robbie said he’d be up for going with [snogging] me or Sarah if I wasn’t going out with his brother or something! I think he was joking! He then started saying stuff about me being his future sister-in-law!

I was having a pretty good night until I got back out into The Mossland car park. There, I was just suddenly sick. It was horrible! Luckily, only Sarah was with me (I hate being sick anyway but it’s worse if loads of people see it!) so she dropped me off at home. I’d felt slightly queasy all night but not ill so I was a bit shocked at being sick actually. I tell you, I’m never going to be able to eat coronation chicken again! [I never did and I never will. Even the thought of it still makes me feel sick.]

I thought I might’ve been sick cos I downed a pint of diesel (not the stuff you put in trucks!) but then I did start feeling dizzy and hot and cold once I got home. I was sick again before and I’ve got a bit of stomach ache and back ache on my ribs, especially where that lump is on the right of my back but it could just be cos I was throwing up before. Yuk!


Today’s emails →

16-03-01 Jake email16-03-01 Tess email

It’s my 18th birthday today!! – 12th November 2000


Part of Auntie G’s present →


Yes, that’s right, it’s my 18th birthday today!! I’ve got loads of money and loads of presents!! Jake bought me a pink Quiksilver jacket that I’ve like for ages, I got lots of little presents off Mum, Dad and Abby and jewellery off everyone in Wick.


[Sporting my pink coat at a later date with Abby and Rhian in Wick.]


[Still got the box decorated by Mum and filled with 18 little presents. It’s now one source of hideous teenage photos that I add to these posts.]

Jake and I somehow ended up in Chester just wandering round. It was a bit boring, rainy and cold but very nice!


Jake has no underarm hair – 10th & 11th August 2000

Thursday 10th to Friday 11th Abby got back from Portugal today. She’s gone all brown. She brought me back a bottle of peach vodka which is nice so I’m not so jealous now! This was off the lid of the bottle. I don’t know what it is! →


Jake and I went to the Trafford Centre today because we had nothing else to do. We now avoid Starbucks because Ralph’s got a job in there which could be looked upon as a bit of a health hazard! Sorry, that was mean! Instead, we went to see The Perfect Storm at the cinema. It was really good but a bit sad cos the all die in it. What makes it worse is that it was based on a true story.

Last night was Emma’s party. Sarah wasn’t going to come but then Maz turned up so I phoned her and she got a taxi down. Amazingly, she made friends with Lizzie. Everyone’s in shock!

It was a really good party but nothing major happened. Emma let Jake and I sleep in her parents’ room which was nice. As usual, we didn’t get all that much sleep. Nothing more than normal happened with is though. 3 and took my top off.

I like it not being awkward anymore cos it’s better feeling comfortable with him. I think we got a couple of hours sleep and then woke up and just lay there with each other. That was until Gethin, Niall Cafferty, Emma, Floyd and Francesca all trooped in. Gethin pointed out that Jake has no underarm hair. It’s weird he doesn’t but you can tell he doesn’t shave it like Gethin thinks he does!

Tonight, more people came to The Dog so it was much better. Sarah couldn’t come cos it’s her dad’s birthday so she had to go out for a meal but Lizzie, Cat, Floyd and Karen Brent came along this week. It was much more lively with more people to talk to, even if we were all knackered after Emma’s party!


He has an “instant reaction” – 28th July 2000

Friday 28th This is the postcard that took ages arriving. I forgot to stick it in before. My mum said it arrived after I’d left for Valkenburg.



It was really nice waking up to Jake again this morning. We stayed in bed for ages. I just feel totally comfortable being around him now. He told me he is happy and that he loves me sooo much and couldn’t love me any more cos there’s no more love in him. That’s so sweet!

He also told me he likes me with my hair down best.

It was Freda’s party tonight. Nothing much happened for me cos I was with Jake all night but Sarah had a mad, passionate session with Adam Reynolds, a total creep who is also known as Furry Adam cos of his minging facial hair! I shoved him into the kitchen door and a wall cos he kept feeling my arse.

Jake did nothing but wasn’t very pleased with Furry Adam who kept saying he just wanted to be friends with me and who I kept telling to fuck off!

Jake brought his tent so we slept in one sleeping bag in there. It was very squashed but very warm and cosy! Every so often Jake kept snoring so he must have fallen asleep. We had no room in the sleeping bag to do much else, although he had an unsuccessful go at undoing my skirt!


[I can’t believe I didn’t write down the fact I dropped that entire bottle of Archers (that I’d only just purchased from the cash and carry in Calais) moments after this photo was taken. It was devastating enough to remember 18 years later!]

I did manage to tickle him though and found a bit on his stomach that he reckons is like a G-spot cos he has an “instant reaction”. I’m not entirely sure what reaction that is though!


[I found a couple more photos from the party. As well as failing to mention that I dropped the bottle of Archers, I also failed to mention that fancy dress was optional.]


[Sarah chasing Reverend Gethin through Freda’s village.]


[Karen looking after Gethin whilst Sarah went for a wee.]

Three’s a crowd – 5th May 2000

Friday 5th Pretty normal day in college (boring!) but we went to the fair in Knutsford tonight. Me, Jake, Sarah, Gethin and Hayley all packed into the Beetle and set off. The fair was quite a big one and was pretty good and all. We went on the Waltzers first which was top! There were loads of other rides and we all went on most of them. Jake didn’t go on some frog thing so he was stood with all our bags! It looked quite funny!

It didn’t take long for him to hold my hand and put his arm round me and, when it got colder, he kept cuddling me. He’s lovely!

Everything was going fine until Hayley chickened out of going on some ride. When we came off, she was being all quiet and started crying and said to me, “I knew it’d be like this. I knew I shouldn’t have come.” I just assumed she felt like a ‘spare part’, as she put it the other day, because Sarah and Gethin were getting along. She’s so selfish!! I seem to remember numerous trips to LA Bowl when she left all her mates bored stupid while she went off with Andy.

Nobody really gave her much sympathy when she cried cos she does it too often so she started being dead pally with Gethin and linked him and wandered off with him in front of Sarah who still really fancies him (Hayley knows that too!). It was so unfair of her cos then Sarah started getting upset cos Hayley was (probably deliberately) ruining Sarah’s chances with Gethin.

When we’d spent up, it wasn’t that late so we went for a wander to show Sarah Hugo’s house. Sarah went on ahead on her own by a few metres cos she was pissed off with Hayley (quite rightly), especially after she’d been all over Gethin, asking him to win her something (he won a Pokemon keyring but I ended up getting it, along with a fake Tweetie Pie that Jake won and gave to me!). Sarah also began to give up on Gethin.

At one point, Sarah staggered a bit and Gethin ran to see if she was okay. Hayley came over to me and Jake and said, “I bet she did that on purpose, and look, it worked.” Bitch!

I whipped my bike light out of my bag as the streets got darker and Jake was fighting to get it off me when I was shining it on the houses!

We got to Hugo’s but turned round and headed back to the car. We’d been walking for ages and Jake and I still hadn’t kissed because Hayley wouldn’t go away. She kept talking to us and wasn’t taking any hints to leave us along, even for a few minutes. Jake even used the words, “Three’s a crowd” at one point but even then she carried on ‘reminiscing’.

We had to wait until we got back to the car park and Gethin and Sarah were in the car and Hayley was on the phone to Andy before we got a kiss. Then Gethin started whistling so it didn’t last long.

We got back in the car but didn’t want to go home so selfish cow Hayley demanded we went to Lymm. Jake (because he’s too nice) took us and we stopped up a road down the side of Andy’s house. Sarah, Jake and I got out cos we were bored of sitting in the car. Sarah went for a wander and Jake leaned on the car and cuddled me. We got a chance to snog quite a bit too!

Hayley rang Andy and he came out of his house and said hi (he was being really nice and likes Jake’s car) and then said he’d take Hayley home later so we finally got rid of her!! Sarah was very pleased!

I got told Jake doesn’t only shampoo his hair but conditions it separately too!

We started talking about stalking and I asked if he’d be worried if I went and sat outside his house. He said it’d be top to have a stalker so I told him that I wouldn’t be very pleased if he had one! He said he meant if he had me as a stalker but that I didn’t need to stalk him anyway.

After a while, we got bored of Lymm so we went to Altrincham, got there, turned round and went back to Sarah’s village to drop her and I off (I stopped over at her house). When the car stopped, I went in the boot to get my stuff out and picked up something which I thought was an old sheet. I saw what I thought was a label on it so I got out my trusty bike light and had a better look, only to discover it was Jake’s Scout uniform with badges on it!! Aaahh, how sweet, he’s a Scout! Ha ha ha!!!

He got out to let me out of the car and we kissed one last time in the middle of the road. I love him so much!!

Got in bed on Sarah’s bedroom floor and received a message. It was off Jake and said, “HELLO! : ) BEFORE I FORGET, I’VE GOT YOUR GLOVES! TONIGHT WAS TOP! IS SARAH OK? GETHIN SAYS HE’S IN A NO WIN SITUATION! I HATE LEAVING YOU! LOVE YOU LOTS! xJx”.

I said that it was a shame we had 3 other people with us because of all the dark country lanes. He said, “OH WELL! IT WAS STILL GOOD : ) TOO COLD ANYWAY! THEY HAD OTHER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT! WHENEVER I KISS YOU IT SEEMS BETTER THAN THE LAST ONE! LOVE YOU! xxxxx”.

I don’t know where that last bit came from! Either he meant it or was just trying to find something nice to say that he’s not said already! Either way, I’m not complaining!!


Desperate, an illegal immigrant or a total headcase!! – 7th & 8th March 2000

Tuesday 7th Lizzie, Bella Jameson, Jake and I were all sat in the common room this afternoon and we ended up having a discussion about Zoe. It wasn’t the most pleasant of conversations as it revolved around BO, mould and used sanitary towels under her bed. That’s disgusting. Bella told us the last part and we can well believe it! The guy she reckons she’s marrying must be desperate, an illegal immigrant or a total headcase!!

We were just saying how lads must have no sense of smell because she still gets them and I suddenly noticed Jake had gone very quiet. As soon as I realised why, I said to him, “Perhaps you could enlighten us on this one!” He went very, very red!! Then he tried to explain what’d happened at Matt Carrera’s party when he snogged Zoe.

The story involved him drinking a bottle of vodka and her being very persistent, him giving in outside on the drive and then hiding behind a car when someone came round the corner! He wouldn’t let her sleep near him though (or so he says!) and he did tell me that he’d only gone to the party because he thought I was mates with Zoe and might be there. Good! He’s such a babe!!!


Wednesday 8th I’m still deaf so I went to the doctor’s after school and he put me on some decongestants or something because there’s all fluid in them and my sinuses are all blocked. Hope they work!

Gethin messed up Jake’s hair this afternoon. It made all the gel stuff come out so his hair went all fluffy. I’ve never seen it when it’s normal before, it was weird but he was still gorgeous!

I didn’t get a snog today because as we were beginning one at the end of college, Mr H (head of college) walked in and said something like, “Steady!” which was rather embarrassing and kind of put us off!

Kickboxing was good tonight but there are loads of new people now and they’re mostly girls. Not good – they stand behind us and giggle and piss me off! We’re learning combinations for the grading in 3 weeks’ time and Dave (our instructor) kept coming and talking to us about skiing because he knows we went and he went for his 2nd time ever to Switzerland last week. It snowed there apparently.


P.S. Had a text from Sarah saying that her mum thinks her mates are leading her astray! Charming!!

Zoe says she’s getting married!!! – 29th February 2000

Tuesday 29th I remembered today that Jake had admitted to being a Manchester City fan on Sunday night. Oh well, at least he’s not following the Scouse lot or anything!

Cat was talking to Jake’s mate Jenny in their Art lesson today. She told Cat that, in Paris, Jake was sat clutching his phone all evening saying stuff like, “Tess usually rings at this time. Why isn’t she ringing me?” or something. That’s good to hear because I wasn’t sure that he’d have wanted me to keep phoning him.

Jake also told me on Sunday that in Paris, Sadie Harding had tried it on with him and snogged Aled. She’s got a boyfriend too – slag!! Anyway, I got Abby to question her today on it all. I believe Jake that nothing happened but I wanted to see what she had to say about it because, before I went to Pre Loup, I’d jokingly told her to keep an eye on him for me.

After school, I asked Abby what Sadie had said and she told me that she had snogged Aled (I didn’t care about that part) and that her boyfriend doesn’t know (for future reference, her boyfriend’s Kingsley Stevens!) and that she’d slept with Jake in his bed. So, Abby then of course walked off, leaving me worrying all through Swing Band!

I found her again afterwards and asked for details and she told me that Sadie had just slept in the same bed as him and some people thought they were cuddling up but weren’t. I was relieved to hear that!

I sent Jake a message though, just to check his reaction. I said, “HELLO! WHAT’S THIS I HEAR ABOUT U SLEEPING WITH SADIE HARDING??! SARAH’S NOW DECIDED THAT SHE DOESN’T REGRET DUMPING HUGO + CAT GOT ALEX’S NUMBER! LOVE TESS x”. I got a message back from him explaining that Aled and someone called Kelly had also been in the same bed because his was broken and that nothing happened.

I sent one back just to let him know I knew saying, “I KNOW, U DIDN’T HAVE 2 EXPLAIN! WHAT U UP 2? I’M HAVING SO MUCH FUN DOING MY GRASS ESSAY FOR BIO!! (YAWN!) SEE U ON THURS : ( LOTS OF LOVE TESS xxxxx”. (He’s not in tomorrow because he’s going to Plymouth for something.)


I sent him an apology for scaring him and asked what he’s doing this weekend. He signed of his next message, “LOTS OF HUGS N KISSES LOVE J : ) xxx” and I finished the one after that (about not fancying going to Manchester with Freda and co.) quite simply, “LOVE U xxx”. It’s the end of his messages that I like best!

Zoe says she’s getting married!!! She also says she wants me, Rochelle, Bridget and her sisters to be bridesmaids! I’m in shock! We’re not allowed to say anything yet cos her mum doesn’t know. She’ll go mad!! She’s only seen this guy once and met him on the internet. It’s got to be dodgy!


P.S. I got a really nice snog off Jake before last lesson. I can’t write down how much I like him! It’s quite scary actually!

I never thought of lads using lip balm but Jake does. He left his and his wallet at Brian’s on Sunday.

At lunch, I was just beginning to think we were just going to sit there with no physical contact but then he kept shifting his chair closer to me and eventually put his hand on my leg. Every time I let go of his hand, he put it back on my leg and it always made my stomach do that weird (but nice) sinking thing!