He was waiting for “that special moment” – 6th April 2000

Thursday 6th I’ve had a bit of a depressing day today. I saw Jake at break and he was being even quieter than usual but I didn’t really think anything of it then. At 3rd lesson, the whole college had an assembly for Mr S the IT teacher who died of cancer a day or so ago and, just before it when we were sitting down, I saw Jake go into Mr H’s office and then he went out of the room with a couple of people and didn’t came back for the assembly.

It was really sad actually, even though I didn’t really know Mr S very well. During it, I started thinking that maybe Jake hadn’t attended the assembly because of his mum as it might be upsetting but I didn’t know for sure.

At lunch, Hayley, Sarah and Floyd wanted to go to McDonald’s so we waited around to ask Jake to take us. It was only at 1:00 pm that I saw him walking back into college with Samantha B and Jenny S. He did come up but I went to the chippy pretty much straight away so I hardly saw him then. I thought it was odd that he hadn’t taken his car out with him and Hayley and Sarah agreed.

When we got back, Gethin said to me that he’d asked Jake if he’d told me he loves me yet and he said he was waiting for “that special moment” or something! Corny!! Mind you, this is only according to Gethin! He also asked if he did love me and apparently Jake sort of nodded.

At last lesson, Jake came in the common room and Vanessa Wood asked him if he was okay. As we were heading out to the garage, Samantha B did the same thing. We got back and he was still being strangely quiet. Gethin started asking him what was wrong and Jake said he was stressed about coursework and stuff. It was so obvious that that wasn’t all that was bothering him so I asked if he was okay myself. He said he’d tell me later cos there were loads of people about.

He then later dragged me out of the room and I’d guessed pretty much what he was going to say. He told me that the whole Mr S thing had put him in a weird mood cos he couldn’t face going to the assembly because his mum’s got cancer. I told him I knew and he said that he was sorry for worrying me and stuff and that he just went out at lunch with Samantha and Jenny because they’re the only ones that really know about it. I reassured him that it was okay and that I hadn’t really been worried and he put his arms out for a hug. I gave him one (and a kiss) of course and he was sat with his arm round my waist for quite a while.

Hayley told me earlier that, last night, she got another message from Jake saying he really, really likes me and doesn’t want to do anything to hurt me and asked if she’d tell him if there was anything wrong. Then today when I was out of the room he had a go at her about saying I was being neglected and that it was such a strong word or something, until she explained that I hadn’t been serious. When I came back in the room, he was trying to tell her to shut up, not realising that I knew about his message and he went all red when she carried on.

Went to Floyd’s tonight but it was boring so I came home quite early. I got a message from Jake when I was there asking if I wanted to go to Hugo Pratt’s tomorrow night. I asked if he was serious and he said, “I’M SERIOUS! HE SAID YOU COULD COME – WE USUALLY GO FOR A PIZZA THEN WATCH A MOVIE ON HIS POSH TV! AREN’T HAYLEY AND SARAH GOING TO LA BOWL? I WANNA BE WITH YOU! LOVE J xxxxx”. The Friday night plans have been changed already cos he’s working for a bit. We don’t know what to do now!

Bye!

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I couldn’t like him much more than I do now – 5th April 2000

Wednesday 5th I went to that university exhibition thing at the MEN Arena in Manchester today. A big group of us went but we had to get ourselves there because college didn’t bother to tell us until yesterday morning. We got a bus from school to the station and a train from there to Piccadilly.

When we arrived, I just wandered round getting prospectuses with Cat. It was okay until we headed for home and then we kept losing people and going for food at different times so we missed buses and trains so everyone ended up getting annoyed with each other!!

By this afternoon, I still hadn’t had any messages off Jake so I was whinging a bit. Hayley then decided to send him one telling him to send me one because I was feeling neglected but, as she was writing it, I got one anyway. He then sent her one asking why I was feeling neglected and if I was okay. Poor lad probably thought I was annoyed with him cos I’ve not seen much of him this week!

I’ve been looking through the uni stuff (it’s scary!) and Huddersfield do actually do Physiotherapy. I do wasn’t to go somewhere round that area, like Bradford or Leeds, but they want higher grades and Huddersfield don’t really. I sent Jake a message pointing out that he might get stuck with me for another few years and he said, “YEH THAT WOULD BE TOP! DON’T U THINK IT’S FUNNY HOW THINGS WORK OUT SOMETIMES?? LOVE YOU TOO (LOTS N LOTS) : ) xxxxx”. It’d only be good if we’re still together which, realistically, might not be the case. Hopefully it will be though!

As well as keeping telling me to sleep with Jake, Gethin also keeps asking me if I love him. I say it in messages but I really don’t know if I do or not. I can say that I couldn’t like him much more than I do now though!

Bye!

I’d have bloody well told Hugo where to go! – 17th February 2000

Thursday 17th I didn’t see much of Jake again today. I did find out that Hugo told Sarah that Jake thought my Valentine’s present to him was sweet. Good!

I actually spoke to Hugo myself at lunch. He annoyed me a bit though by telling me that there was no need to keep asking if Jake liked me. I haven’t asked him that at all as far as I know. Then he started going on about me and Jake both being too shy. We can’t help that! If he wasn’t his best mate, I’d have bloody well told Hugo where to go!

He did tell me other, more interesting stuff though. He said that if I ever had to buy Jake a present I should get him something to do with Beetle cars cos he’s obsessed and would be dead pleased according to Hugo.

He also told me that Jake had overheard his parents saying how he’d started going into college earlier since he’d been going out with me and he yelled from the top of the stairs, “Do you want to talk a bit louder?!”

I’ve had texts off Jake tonight too. I started it off again by telling him something that was said today. I put, “HI! SARAH + JULIAN DECIDED THAT IF I GET CAUGHT IN AN AVALANCHE, THEY’RE GONNA SHARE U. SHE WANTS YOUR FRONT HALF + HE WANTS THE BACK!! I’D WORRY! LOVE U, TESS xxx”.

His reply was, “I’M NOT GONNA WORRY COS U AREN’T GONNA GET STUCK IN AN AVALANCE! (THAT WOULD BE JUST MY LUCK!) WHY DOES SARAH WANT PART OF ME? NOW GET PACKING!! LOVE U 2. JAKE xxx”.

I replied, “I AM PACKING (U SOUND LIKE MY MUM)! DIDN’T ASK WHY SARAH WANTED U. MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE! DIDN’T THINK. I COULD HAVE SOME COMPETITION THERE! OR WHAT ABOUT JULIAN?!? LOVE T xx”.

Then he said, “NAAHH! YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE FOR ME, NOT THAT I’M HOMOPHOBIC OR DON’T ENJOY THE THOUGHT OF A THREESOME WITH SARAH + HUGO… HONEST! NOW GET PACKING! HUGS N KISSES xx”.

I replied, “OH I SEE, SO THAT’S WHAT YOU’LL B GETTING UP 2 WHEN I’M NOT HERE TMW NIGHT!!! R U GOING OUT ANYWHERE? I’M SO FED UP. I CAN’T FIND HALF THE STUFF I’M MEANT 2 B TAKING! xx : )”.

His next message to me said, “NO I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING TMW NIGHT APART FROM PACKING + THINKING OF U STUCK ON THAT COACH. ANYWAY ALL MY MONEY IS IN FRANCS, NOT MUCH USE HERE xx”.

Later on, I sent him one saying, “FINISHED PACKING! I BET I’VE 4GOTTEN SOMETHING! JUST HAD A PANICKED MESSAGE FROM SARAH COZ HUGO RANG + SAID HE LOVED HER. U THINK HE’S BEING SERIOUS? HE’S ONLY SEEN HER ONCE!”

Then I got this message from his phone, “BOO, I WANT U NOW BABY YEAH!!! FROM MASON!” + then an apology from Jake saying, “SORRY THAT WAS MASON – WE’RE AT WORK! I THINK THE PROBLEM IS THAT HE’S NOT SEEN HER SINCE + DOESN’T WANT TO LOSE HER – AS FOR LOVE, IT’S PROBABLY MORE LIKE LUST! LOVE x”.

I reckon it’s the same with Jake. Mind you, he’s only actually mentioned love in texts so I suppose it’s a bit different.

I’m going skiing tomorrow! YEAHHH!!! I’m going to really miss Jake though.

Bye!

 

Oh, I luv the guy! – 8th October 1997

Wednesday 8th First thing this morning, we had assembly. I walked in through the doors and most people were already in the studio including Dougie. He was looking at me and Lizzie (I think) at one point. It was quite a good assembly done by Mr M on fear. He was coming round with cobwebs and dead wasps and throwing woodlice at us!

He was funny considering he’d just had a right go at our form for being the worst. He says we’ve nearly had as many detentions as the rest of the year put together! The rest of ‘em must have done well!

3rd thing we had basketball. It was quite good (considering the lads don’t tend to pass the 6 of us the ball) because we had a game. Our team was crap but I managed to block a few passes and score once.

I always end up on Johnny Doherty’s team and he’s gotta be the worst for not giving us the ball. The rest of the group that is! He’s a selfish bastard and wants to get all the glory so he keeps the ball to himself.

Anyway, at the end, Mr B was saying to the lads how they should learn to trust us more and that with our netball skills we can do pretty well. He then said, “Tess, you were super today”. I was really pleased coz I didn’t think I’d done so well. I found it hard not to smile!

At lunch, I saw Dougie and his mates go out of school so I was trying to hurry Lizzie up so we’d pass them on our way out. Just as we were about to take our bags up to our form rooms, I saw Dougie come back in on his bill. I thought he would go and get his bag and I was right [After years of stalking, I’d got to know his habits rather well.] so, after being stopped by Hayley, he was behind us on the way up the stairs.

I chucked my bag in a corner (accidentally on purpose on top of his) and I turned round and he was stood behind me. He said, “Hello” (and I did too) and grabbed his bag and followed us back down the stairs. We got outside and I asked him what he was doing but before he had chance to answer, Lizzie asked him, “Are you stalking us?” He mumbled some sarky answer, smiled and went in another block. I think he’s in Macbeth (Ha, ha, ha! That should be good!) so he was probably going to rehearsals.

Later on in lunch, it started pouring it down so Emma and I went off to the Music block. I saw Dougie and Ralph come in so I told Emma and went to see what they were doing. Well, we didn’t actually go to them coz that would’ve looked obvious so we went to Ed instead. Dougie kept turning round and came over at one point.

They were all composing music on the computers so we went over and listened to Dougie’s. It was quite good except it sounded a bit like a funeral march!

The bell went and he raced off, looking back at me once.

It was Geography straight after lunch and Mrs C was setting another class some work so we just talked for a few minutes. I really can’t remember what about but Neil kept saying stupid things about bed-wetting after X-Files and stuff and Dougie and I just looked at each other.

I mentioned Ed’s list of top 20 girls and Dougie asked me if I was on it. I said no and he sort of smiled but not nastily.

Oh, I luv the guy! Well, that could change, depending on what happens tomorrow! [CLIFFHANGER!!]

November 1996 - Red heart (general)
♥ BYE! ♥