I didn’t just say that!” – 16th & 17th January 2002

Wednesday 16th to Thursday 17th  WOOHOO!!! My exams have finished! 🙂 Although I don’t think I’ll feel like celebrating when I get my results back.

My Molecular Science exam this morning was evil. I really don’t think there’s any way I can have passed it unless I did some really lucky guessing in the multiple choice section. We had 2 longer essay questions to do at the end and I really struggled. Everyone else thought it was okay so that didn’t really make me feel better either.

Kevin managed to piss me off before the exam. I was saying how I was worried about it and he came out with, “It’s good to know when you don’t need to revise.” Tosser! If anyone else had’ve said it. I would’ve taken it as a joke but he seemed genuinely smug about it. Grrr!!

I also got my last piece of coursework handed in today so I didn’t know what to do with myself when I got in. I texted Jonas and he replied saying, “I know what u can do! See me J x”. So, Jonas came round to mine. He ended up staying over. When he first arrived it was really nice. We were sat on my bed and then he cuddled me round my waist and said he’d missed me. He said so a couple of other times too. 🙂

Later on, he said, “You’re gorgeous, lovely and I love you” as he was lying on me, followed quickly by, “I didn’t just say that!” Cool! 🙂 I hope he meant it. I didn’t comment cos I didn’t want to embarrass him but I couldn’t stop smiling. I really missed him and I have been thinking to myself that I love him too. 🙂 There’s been a couple of times I felt like telling him but I would’ve been worried about scaring him. Mmm Jonas! 🙂 🙂 🙂


P.S. My next diary’s a silver one about the size of this one.

[There’s always stuff in the back of my diaries and this is what I found in this one. A post-it doodle of Jonas (I think), notes of some of his texts and a seemingly random bus ticket…]

I was so pleased and happy to see him! – 2nd September 2000

Saturday 2nd Hah! I’ve just noticed I’ve missed out a couple of pages at the end of August!

My shift at work today wasn’t too bad but it seemed to last forever! It was really frustrating cos I knew Jake was home but I couldn’t see him until 8pm. I was sooo glad when I finished!

He’s got his mum’s Polo now so he picked me up and we went to the cinema at the Trafford Centre. I was so pleased and happy to see him! We ended up seeing Snatch which turned out to be really good!

Afterwards, we just sat in the Orient bit eating Phish Food ice cream and cuddling and kissing which carried on when we were in the car park! I just love him so much and I hate being without him which is why it’s so good now he’s back!

We exchanged presents tonight too. I gave him his fairy in a jar and he gave me 2 photos of him (one in a bow tie etc.!) and a light up pen!


He gave me my 2nd postcard too!



Oh, he’s sooo sweet!


He has an “instant reaction” – 28th July 2000

Friday 28th This is the postcard that took ages arriving. I forgot to stick it in before. My mum said it arrived after I’d left for Valkenburg.



It was really nice waking up to Jake again this morning. We stayed in bed for ages. I just feel totally comfortable being around him now. He told me he is happy and that he loves me sooo much and couldn’t love me any more cos there’s no more love in him. That’s so sweet!

He also told me he likes me with my hair down best.

It was Freda’s party tonight. Nothing much happened for me cos I was with Jake all night but Sarah had a mad, passionate session with Adam Reynolds, a total creep who is also known as Furry Adam cos of his minging facial hair! I shoved him into the kitchen door and a wall cos he kept feeling my arse.

Jake did nothing but wasn’t very pleased with Furry Adam who kept saying he just wanted to be friends with me and who I kept telling to fuck off!

Jake brought his tent so we slept in one sleeping bag in there. It was very squashed but very warm and cosy! Every so often Jake kept snoring so he must have fallen asleep. We had no room in the sleeping bag to do much else, although he had an unsuccessful go at undoing my skirt!


[I can’t believe I didn’t write down the fact I dropped that entire bottle of Archers (that I’d only just purchased from the cash and carry in Calais) moments after this photo was taken. It was devastating enough to remember 18 years later!]

I did manage to tickle him though and found a bit on his stomach that he reckons is like a G-spot cos he has an “instant reaction”. I’m not entirely sure what reaction that is though!


[I found a couple more photos from the party. As well as failing to mention that I dropped the bottle of Archers, I also failed to mention that fancy dress was optional.]


[Sarah chasing Reverend Gethin through Freda’s village.]


[Karen looking after Gethin whilst Sarah went for a wee.]

Gethin thinks he’s fit! – 8th July 2000


[Diary number 19 – only £1.09!]


Saturday 8th I got woken up this morning by my mum handing me some post which had come for me. One was just a thing from the bank but the other was a postcard from my boyfriend, Jake Taylor (a.k.a. J when I can’t be bothered writing Jake!).



He’s gone with 3 of his friends for a month long trip around Europe because he’s finished his A Levels now and has loads of time. So far, they’ve been to Barcelona, Nice, Monte Carlo, Pisa and Rome. The last place they’re going is Amsterdam but Jake said he’ll meet me in Valkenburg because that’s where I’m going with Swing Band this year. One of the lads he’s with, Charlie Wilson, has got to be there anyway because he’s one of our drummers.

It was nice to get a postcard (even though I’ve been getting text messages from him because he’s got a posh phone that works abroad) because it’s something I can keep. He’s got really nice writing, although it reminds me of my dad’s!

I’m getting really jealous of Jake now because he keeps telling me all the nice places he’s been to and what he’s been doing while I’m stuck here with tonsillitis and college to go to! Plus I’m missing him loads.

I texted Jake this morning to let him know I got the postcard and I told him that I wished I wasn’t stuck here! He replied saying, “I MAY BE HAVING A GOOD TIME (ACTUALLY I’D CALL IT INTERESTING) BUT I MISS YOU SOOO MUCH TOO! DON’T THINK THAT I’M HAVING LOADS OF FUN – I’M NOT! ALL I WANT IS YOU! xJx”.

I then told him not to bother about me because he’s on holiday and he made it sound like I was stopping him enjoying himself! I reassured him that where he is has to be better than here too! He said, “YEH BUT MISSING YOU BOTHERS ME A LOT! SO MUCH THAT I CAN’T BE BOTHERED ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE! I AGREE IT’S BETTER THAN BEING WHERE YOU R – BUT I WANT TO BE WHERE U R! x”.

I then told him to at least try not to let it bother him and I said that it’d be better if I was where he is instead! He then said, “I’LL TRY! : ) YEH OK – I’D RATHER U WERE HERE! I’M LYING IN A HUGE DOUBLE BED WITH A BIG CEILING FAN – NICE N COOL! YOU CAN HAVE SOME OF OUR SUN…” and then, “WE’VE GOT A HEATWAVE AND MY SUNBURN IS WORSE THAN YOURS! WE’LL SEE WHO’S GOT THE MOST TANNED ARMS IN 2 WEEKS! (AND FACE N BACK N LEGS!) OWW! IT HURTS! LOVE xJx”.

He’d look weird with a tan cos I’m so used to him being the shade of milk! I asked him if he had to share the bed with anyone and then told him that I didn’t really care about getting tanned cos I’d rather get better. Jake then said, “WELL ARRAN WAS SLEEPING AT THE OTHER END! YEH YOU SHOULD JUST TRY N GET BETTER OTHERWISE I’M COMING HOME EARLY! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOING SOMEWHERE BUT I CAN’T GET UP x”. That would be Arran B, one of his mates, the other 2 being Charlie and Ali.


Those 2 messages were about my friend Ed (also a member of Swing Band) deciding to get the coach to Calais with the rest of us. You see, he’s got a job in France for a few weeks and was going to get the train there instead so then Jake would’ve had his place on the coach but it’s unfortunately not going to happen like that now.

They were also about Gethin who is one of my best mates and who is also bisexual apparently. We all believe him. In fact, most people reckon he’s just plain gay and there’s a lot of money riding on it too!

After he sent that message, I replied telling him to watch himself because he seems to attract lads! He’s got a little admirer in Year 7 called Philip Daly (a.k.a. MiniFloyd cos we’re mates with his older brother, Floyd!) and also Julian, a gay lad who we’re mates with, and Gethin thinks he’s fit! I can’t say I blame them really!

I also told Jake I was going to a small party at Denzel Chadwick’s house (Denny, as he’s more commonly known) tonight. His reply was, “OK THEN I’LL WATCH OUT! : ) WHAT TIME R U GOING COS I MISS THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE! : ) LOVE YOU!!! xxx Jake xxx”. I told him I didn’t know and he said, “OK WELL TEXT ME ABOUT AN HOUR BEFORE YOU’RE GONNA GO! : ) COS I MAY BE SOMEWHERE WHERE I CAN’T CALL YOU – LIKE A CHURCH OR SOMETHING! SPEAK TO YOU LATER! LOVE xJx”.

Jake phoned me at about half past 5. He was just telling me about where he’s staying in Rome and that Florence and Venice are the next couple of places they’re going to. I filled him in on what’s been happening here, which didn’t take long at all! He said “love you” before he went, even though I could her that there were people around him.

I got a lift to Denny’s with Sarah tonight. There weren’t that many people there but it was quite good. That was until I started feeling ill again! I ended up leaving at about 10:30 cos all I wanted to do was go to bed! Not a lot was happening anyway and, of course, Jake wasn’t there.

I got another message off him when I got home saying, “HELLO! : ) HOW’S THE PARTY THEN? PUNCHED HAYLEY YET? I’M AT SOME KIND OF FESTIVAL – IT’S GOT CHEAP BEER N LOUD MUSIC ANYWAY! DID YOU ENJOY YOUR RIBS? LOTS OF LOVE! xJx”. I explained that Hayley (who’s being a bitch to Sarah) didn’t turn up and that Gethin hadn’t brought the barbecue ribs.

I didn’t get a reply so I’m going to bed!



SHE IS NOT MY BEST MATE!!! – 7th July 2000

Friday 7th I didn’t go to college again because I seem to have scarlet fever or something now!

Sarah came round too cos she was skiving college (hope she doesn’t catch it!) to avoid Hayley who’s still being her bitchy little self! It’s all over Hayley reading a bit out of Sarah’s diary about her being hypocritical an also something about Lena and then went round telling everyone which is totally out of order.

Sarah’s very rightly annoyed with Hayley and Hayley’s annoyed with Sarah for being annoyed with her. Follow?! Now I’ve been dragged into it somehow cos Hayley’s been slagging me off to various people, saying how a best mate should be loyal and stick by her and stuff. She’s just trying to shift the guilt onto someone else cos she knows she’s the one that’s wrong but:

  1. I’ve not said a word about it to her since it all started so how does she know I’m being disloyal? (As it happens, I’ll be siding with Sarah on this one if she brings it up!)
  2. SHE IS NOT MY BEST MATE!!! It’s all in her head! Twisted cow!

Anyway, Sarah and I spent the day happily distorting photos of Hayley’s face on the computer! 🙂

I’ve had loads of messages from Jake today. I sent the first one asking what he was doing and he told me, “I’M SITTING ON A VERY LONG TRAIN JOURNEY TO ROME! IT’S NOT THAT HOT TODAY BUT IT’S REALLY BORING! DO YOU FEEL ANY BETTER?? FEEL AWFUL COS I’M NOT WITH YOU! LOVE xJx”.

I then told him that if he was with me then he’d only end up catching it but he said, “I WOULDN’T MIND CATCHING IT IF IT MEANT I COULD SEE YOU! YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO KEEP ME AWAY FROM YOU! LOVE YOU! x”.

I then pointed out that in 2 weeks’ time I should be in Valkenburg and his reaction was, “YIPPEEE! CAN’T WAIT! YOU BETTER GET WELL BEFORE THEN! HOLLAND SEEMS SO FAR AWAY – IN DISTANCE AND TIME! WANT IT TO HURRY UP – LOOKING FORWARD TO IT SOOO MUCH! xJx”.

I sent him another after that saying how I had a concert at the Parr Hall with Swing Band tonight but it took him a while to reply. He said, “SORRY I  HAVEN’T REPLIED – JUST GOT TO CHARLIE’S AUNT’S HOUSE IN ROME! DON’T DO THE CONCERT – I WANT YOU TO GET BETTER – STAY IN AND REST! : ) NOT BEEN A WEEK YET!…” Then I got the same one again and then another similar one. He must have thought it hadn’t sent! He said, “SORRY I HAVEN’T REPLIED – JUST GOT TO ROME! DON’T DO THE CONCERT – I WANT YOU TO GET BETTER SO REST INSTEAD! : ) THIS IS THE 1ST FRI NIGHT WITHOUT YOU FOR AGES!! : ( xJx”.


After I’d done with the concert (which was okay) I sent him another message asking why she’d been laughing and telling him what I’d just done for Swing Band. I also mentioned Hayley being a cow. He said, “TOLD YOU NOT TO! CHARLIE IS LAUGHING COS HE MISSED IT! SHE WAS LAUGHING COS IT WAS SO SOPPY – SHE SAID I WAS THE MAN IN IT! THEY THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY NICE THAT…” then, “WE SEND MSGS TO EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME! HAYLEY IS TWISTED! HOW DO YOU KNOW HAYLEY’S ANNOYED WITH YOU? FROM SARAH? x”.

I told him that Gethin, Freda and Henry Rockwell had all told me that she’d been slagging me off. Then he said, “OHHH THINGS AREN’T GOING YOUR WAY AT THE MINUTE ARE THEY?! YOU’RE ILL, HAYLEY’S BEING A BITCH AND I’M HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY : (…” then I got a really nice one which cheered me up saying, “I MAY BE ALL THE WAY IN ITALY BUT I’M WITH YOU ALL THE TIME, JUST LIKE YOU’RE WITH ME ALL THE TIME – IN MY HEART AND ON MY MIND… PERMANENTLY! : ) LOVE YOU LOTS! xJx”.

That was very soppy but very sweet! I bet he was reading a romantic novel himself on that train!

I agreed with him that things aren’t going my way and told him that I now seem to have a scarletina type thing, and he said, “PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE JOKING! SCARLET FEVER?? : ( HAVE YOU BEEN TO THE DOCTOR’S? I’M REALLY REALLY SORRY I’M NOT THERE FOR YOU! xxx JAKE xxx”.

I told him that he didn’t have to apologise cos I wouldn’t see much of him even if he was here cos I’m ill so he said, “I’M SORRY – JUST IT’S NOT A NICE THING TO HAVE! : ( : ( THIS IS ALL SOOO BAD! : ( : ( I’D BETTER LET YOU SLEEP THEN! HOPE U FEEL BETTER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! ALL MY LOVE! x”.

I then told him that I didn’t want to sleep so to keep texting (unless he did) and I told him not to feel bad. He sent me 2 back saying, “I WORRY COS YOU’RE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE! : ) IF I WASN’T – I’D BE WORRYING ABOUT HOW THE HELL I’M GETTING BACK TONIGHT – I’M LOST IN THE MIDDLE OF ROME! xJx”. Then, “OH! AND I DON’T NEED SLEEP SO KEEP TEXTING AND I’LL ASSUME YOU’VE FALLEN ASLEEP WHEN I DON’T GET ANY MORE! LOVE YOU! x”.

I then told him I was a bit worried about him once he’d said he was lost but he said, “HAH – DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME! CHARLIE IS GONNA LEAD US HOME… HE HOPES! NO DON’T MIND IF YOU HIT HAYLEY AT DENNY’S – YOU WOULD BE V. POPULAR! R U GONNA GO FEELING LIKE THIS?? LOVE xJx”.

I told him that I AM going to Denny’s cos I’ve missed out on enough already while I’ve been ill! I also told him that Ed reckons I’ve got ‘missing Jakey sydrome’ and Jake said, “WELL DON’T MAKE YOURSELF ANY WORSE! IF THAT’S ALL YOU’VE GOT – THAT’S OK! YOU’VE ONLY GOT 2 MORE WEEKS THEN YOU’LL BE FINE! MY BATTERY MAY DIE SOON – SO DON’T WORRY…” then, “IF I DON’T REPLY – I HAVEN’T BEEN RUN DOWN BY A CRAZY ITALIAN MAN ON A SCOOTER! LOTS OF LOVE… AGAIN! xJx”.


That was very nice to read but I pointed out that right now I’ve got a pink little face, a stuffed up nose and I can’t look at anything properly cos my eyes won’t focus! I also told him not to be put off by that though! He replied, “AHH! YOU’RE JUST SO SWEET! I CAN JUST PICTURE YOU NOW! WOULDN’T BE PUT OFF – EVER! I KNOW I SAY IT ALL THE TIME – BUT YOU’RE JUST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE – YOU REALLY ARE!”

I don’t think anyone else would agree! I don’t actually know what I’ve done to make him think that either cos I wouldn’t have thought I’m anything special! I told him that I thought it was the other way round and he said, “WELL WE’RE BOTH REALLY LUCKY THEN! I THINK WE’RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER! I’M LYING IN BED LISTENING TO THAT LONESTAR SONG – THE LYRICS SUM UP EXACTLY HOW I FEEL! xJx”.

That’s really weird cos I thought that and I told him that. He then said, “WOW! WE ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER! I LISTEN TO IT EVERY NIGHT! IT’S A BIT DEPRESSING NOW THOUGH!” That really is freaky cos it used to be one of the ones I listened to a lot at night until he went away cos it was depressing!

I asked him if he was joking and told him that! He said, “NO I’M NOT JOKING! : ) OHH I REALLY CAN’T WAIT 2 WEEKS! BETTER GO TO SLEEP NOW THOUGH – DON’T WANT TO BUT I’M AN HOUR AHEAD AND HAVE A BUSY DAY TOMORROW! I’LL PHONE YOU! x”. That was the last message I got tonight.

Looks like I’ll have to get a new diary then. I’ll probably use this purple hardback notebook I think I’ve got. See you there!


I denied all knowledge of the stains – 5th June 2000

Monday 5th I got some more messages off Jake in the night. I’d been lying in bed, thinking about stuff we’d done together over the time we’ve been going out so I sent him a message asking if he was still awake and then which night together he thought was best. He replied, “I’M AWAKE! HMMM IT WOULD EITHER BE LAST TUES AT GETH’S, THE FRI YOU LEANT ME YOUR FLEECE, THE NIGHT WE MET – HAPPIEST NIGHT EVER! – OR FRI BUT I’D WANT TO DO IT AGAIN SO I COULD CHEER U UP! WHY? xJx”.

I told him I’d just been wondering and then said that we never know what’s going to happen and we might have even better nights yet to come! He said, “I HOPE SO!!! : ) IF THAT WAS THE WORST IT’S GONNA GET I CAN LIVE WITH IT! I’M GLAD WE’VE TAKEN THINGS AS WE HAVE COS THERE’S NO RUSH! I LOVE YOU xxx JAKE xxx”.

I hope we’ve not spoken too soon saying that the worst night was on Friday and stuff! I told him I’m glad we haven’t rushed it too and then asked how come he’s so patient cos other lads usually push girls to go all the way pretty quickly. He said, “DON’T KNOW COS I’M NOT THE PATIENT TYPE! THEN AGAIN I’VE LEARNT A LOT ABOUT MYSELF! NEVER THOUGHT I’D FIND SOMEONE I LOVED THIS MUCH!! YOU’RE TOO GOOD TO LOSE! xJx”.

I really can’t believe he loves me!! 🙂 He makes me so happy!! The way this has all gone and is still going is one of those relationships where, if we were in a soap opera, it’d be going really well and then something bad happens! I hope it doesn’t end up like a Titanic or Romeo and Juliet sort of ending!!

Sorry, that’s so negative! I mean, things like this have gone well and have lasted forever for other people so why shouldn’t it for us?! It just all seems too good to be true at the moment!

Anyway, I sent him another message telling him to let me know if his patience ever definitely runs out. He then said, “OK BUT I DON’T THINK IT WILL! I MIGHT WANT AN ‘EVEN BETTER NIGHT’ BEFORE I GO TO A PLACE I’M NOT GONNA SAY THE NAME OF!? DO YOU BELIEVE IN FATE?! xJx”.

I told him I wasn’t sure about fate but that I was sure he might not be the only one who might want an ‘even better night’ before he goes to Canada! I am getting to the stage now where I might want to take things further with him. It’s only really the fear of the possible consequences that’s stopping me.

This morning he texted me and told me that he’d asked if I believed in fate cos he thinks we were meant to be together. He could be right!

It was back to college today unfortunately! Gethin was announcing very loudly to people that he’s got to wash his brother’s sheets cos of them being covered in stains! He’d narrowed it down to me and Jake somehow but I denied all knowledge of the stains and even lied to Sarah that nothing had happened. I suppose I just don’t want people to make a fuss/take the piss/think I’m showing off or anything. Some people just don’t get that I’d rather keep stuff to myself.

Sarah eventually found out that on Friday night, Gethin had discovered the stains and apparently he and Jake had been laughing and joking about how they got there but then, as soon as Gethin suggested it could have been me and Jake, Jake went bright red and said it had nowt to do with me. When I acted all innocent on the subject today, Gethin drew his own conclusions that Jake had been entertaining himself so I got annoyed with Gethin for interfering and warned Jake about what Gethin thought. Jake started worrying, saying that he’d never even consider doing that in someone else’s bed and that he’d never be able to show his face around college if Gethin told people his theory! He sent Gethin a message then to deny it and I had a go at Gethin so he said he was sorry. He should just leave it now.

I need to see Jake!! I don’t know how the hell I’m going to cope when we’re apart for longer! He kept saying he missed me in messages and stuff today.


He had his hand down my top for all of 2 minutes! – 28th May 2000

Sunday 28th Abby’s b’day!

Sarah had a little all-night gathering at her house tonight which involved her, Gethin, Hayley, Floyd, Jake and me. We all got pretty drunk pretty quickly so it was quite a good laugh. Jake stayed on one of the sofas pretty much all night so I stayed there with him.

Due to music being played pretty much throughout the night, Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden kept coming on so is yet another song that’s going to remind me of Jake. [Ugh… Vom.]

Every time I tried to get up, Jake tried to stop me. I like it when he doesn that cos it means he wants me to stay!

Hayley went all suicidal at one point so I had to go and sort her out. All I really wanted to do was go back to Jake but I didn’t for fear of later finding her swinging on the end of a rope from the ceiling or something. Gethin and Sarah also had a word with her and she seemed to cheer up a bit, especially when Andy answered her call.

Floyd was pretty happy all night because on Thursday night he’d been rolling round on Brian’s bedroom flood with Cat apparently!

Sarah was kept happy once she’d snogged Gethin in her bed! Gethin was just being his normal mad self!

I was happy to be with Jake but when it got light this morning, I was left slightly frustrated cos we hadn’t got any further than just kissing, except when he had his hand down my top for all of 2 minutes! I can’t believe we wasted the opportunity to do more. Even Sarah and Gethin did and we’ve been going out for well over 3 months! Oh well, maybe next time if there is one. I really would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed by that night. I’ll know not to get my hopes up next time, I suppose!

Jake did say “Love you” once this morning and said something about wanting to eat my arm. I think he meant in an affectionate way, not just because he’d had no breakfast! He’s also decided he likes my nose. He says it’s cute, especially when I screw it up when he goes to kiss it or touch it!

He looked very cute this morning! He had Wallace and Gromit pyjamas on and his hair had gone all fluffy! He looked like a little kid!

I got a message from Jake when I got home and it said something about me needing to get beauty sleep. Charming! He then sent me another to explain, “I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT YOU DIDN’T NEED BEAUTY SLEEP BECAUSE YOU ARE ALREADY BEAUTIFUL BUT I COULDN’T FIT IT IN THE MESSAGE! I BETTER NOT GO TO GETHIN’S TONIGHT OR MY DAD WILL MOAN AT ME FOR GOING OUT FOUR NIGHTS IN A ROW + NOT REVISING!”

Liar! I still don’t know what he sees in me at all!

I sent him a message before asking if he was going to round to Gethin’s tonight and I said that I was still really tired but would go if he was. He said, “OK! HAYLEY AND GETHIN HAVE JUST RUNG ME – THEY ARE COOKING! I’LL SEE YOU ON TUESDAY IF WE GO SHOPPING?? P.S. I’M FLATTERED YOU WOULD GO IF I WAS GOING! : ) LOVE xJx”.

After that but a bit later on, I sent him a message apologising for falling asleep at Sarah’s! He sent me one back saying, “IT’S OK! JUST BEING WITH YOU MAKES IT A GOOD NIGHT! EVEN IF YOU ARE ASLEEP! YOU WOULD ONLY FEEL WORSE NOW IF YOU HADN’T FALLEN ASLEEP!! LOVE YOU!!! : ) xJx”.

He also sent another saying that I looked really cute when I’m asleep and that he wouldn’t want to wake me up after I told him he should’ve done. I also said that it had been a good night but admitted that I felt it’d been slightly wasted. He said, “OH WELL WE’LL GET ALL NIGHT TOGETHER AT GETHIN’S SO I’LL MAKE SURE YOU DON’T FALL ASLEEP! WE MIGHT GET A LITTLE MORE PRIVACY AND A COMFIER BED TOO?!! LOVE xJx”.

I told him that in order to get more privacy we might have to get Sarah to keep Gethin occupied! Jake said, “YES! – I’M SURE SHE WON’T MIND GOING ALONG WITH THAT!! WHEN ARE WE GONNA GO ROUND? BETTER MAKE SURE SARAH IS THERE AT THE SAME TIME! LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!! : ) xJx”.

I did reply to that one but he didn’t send any back for a couple of hours. I assumed he’d fallen asleep for the night but then at 11:33 pm I got a message from him saying, “I LOVE YOU! NIGHT NIGHT! : ) xJx”. That’s all it said but it didn’t half make me smile!


We started flashing our underwear – 20th May 2000

Saturday 20th We all thought last night was going to be really crap but it turned out to be quite good!

Jake’s dad dropped him, Gethin and Hayley off at my house (Sarah was already here) and we just sat about for a while, waiting for a bus to take us to The Dog. I let Jake in my bedroom while I looked for something, even though it’s a complete tip! He said he thought his room was bad until he saw mine! Thanks!! I just had to keep explaining that it’s only a mess cos I’ve not had time to tidy it recently!

We snogged on the landing outside my bedroom door before going back downstairs to get the bus.

I showed them some little drawing my dad had done of someone stabbing the little cartoon taxman on some leaflet which they found amusing. We were then talking about names. Jake said that if he’d been a girl he’d have been called Abby and I told him I was nearly called Clara. They’re our sister’s names! Then we discovered that the 19th June is Jake’s mum’s birthday and it’s my dad’s birthday too! We’ve decided we were destined for each other!

When we arrived at The Dog it was really busy and we were greeted with a hug off Matt Carrera! We sent Jake off to get drinks and we found a seat. When he came back, he told me that Matt had said I’m “a bit of a piece” and that he used to fancy me at primary school! That’s odd cos I went through a stage of fancying him at primary school too when I used to walk round to school with him, Zoe and Megan Quinn!

There was a point when we started flashing our underwear at each other! Jake had Tommy Hilfiger undies on!

We had a good long conversation with each other about stuff. I mentioned about going to Huddersfield and asked him what he thought about us going to the same place. He likes the idea and told me that quite a few of the couples in his year are going to the same universities. He then started telling me that you’re allowed mixed quarters there!

He told me that he was going to do photography and also looked at the environment courses or something but has now definitely decided on architecture.

Skiing and Canada came up again as usual. He’s only actually been skiing 3 times before. I thought he’d been more than that. He said that he only decided to go to Canada because there was no reason for him to stay here but he doesn’t want to go as much now cos of me. He said if we’d have got together earlier he might only have gone for 7 weeks or not at all.

Then we started talking about how long we’d liked each other for. I said I’d liked him since the October LA Bowl trip but, in actual fact, I’ve only liked him on and off since then. He said he liked me before that trip but didn’t say when.

Lara Beale then got into the conversation. I think he said she’s the only other proper girlfriend he’s had but I’m not sure. He was telling me that it was totally different between them than it is between us because he only really fancied her. He said he was never this soppy with her!

He said he’s never been in love before, until me! He also told me that he doesn’t ever want to split up and he can’t ever see himself with anyone other than me. I told him the same thing cos, at the moment, it’s perfectly true! I’m pretty sure I do love him now! I don’t think I could possibly like him any more than I do now!

We ended up walking back to Hayley’s village to walk her home but I didn’t mind. We stopped off at my house to get Hayley a pair of trainers and a jumper and Jake my blue Fila fleece. It looked really nice on him! He kept telling me it was really nice because it smelled of me.


Jake robbing my Fila fleece.

The other 3 got quite far ahead cos Jake and I kept stopping to kiss. We stopped on Crow Bridge and then by the railings on the corner before Crofters Lane. While we were kissing there, we could hear some bird or something squeaking in the field so we used that as an excuse to go through the path in the trees to find out what it was! [It’ll have been an oystercatcher.] We stopped in the field on the other side of the little bridge and kissed and hugged for ages.

He said he didn’t understand why I liked him and told me that he’s not sure why he first started liking me and said he only really noticed what a nice figure I had and how nice looking I was when he started going out with me. I’m not sure whether to be flattered about that or not! I think he meant it in a nice way!

I kept getting phone calls off Sarah telling us to hurry up (when in actual fact she wanted us to take our time so she could get longer with Gethin!) cos Hayley wanted to get home.

The next place we stopped was by the layby outside school. I had really cold hands so I put them up his shirt to keep them warm. I’ve discovered he’s very ticklish!

We met Sarah and Gethin by the bench outside school on the corner near Wythenshaw Lane. By then I had my hands down the front of his trousers but only at the top (not near anything!) to stop him complaining I was tickling him! Unfortunately, the taxi was quick to arrive. We sat in the back and Sarah sat in the front so we could hold hands. He ended up resting my hand near the top of his leg but, of course, on the outside of his clothes!

When I got in the house after saying goodbye to Jake, Sarah told me she’d snogged Gethin so was pleased we’d been taking our time walking towards them. Then Abby got in from her night out in town. She’s deliriously happy because Chris T from kickboxing was there and she snogged him and he’s given her his phone number and said to ring him at 2:00pm on Monday! He lives on Pig Lane in Woolston.

I got some nice messages off Jake when I got in bed. He sent the first one saying it’s been a good night so I sent him one agreeing and saying at least we got to be alone for a bit and he said, “I KNOW! BUT WITHOUT THE NETTLES! OH AND COLD HANDS! I KNOW I SAY THIS EVERY WEEK BUT I WANT YOU IN MY BED NOW!! P.S. YOU’RE NOT GETTING THIS FLEECE BACK! LOVE xJx”.


I asked what he was planning to do instead of sleeping and he replied, “OH THIS AND THAT! : ) I WANT TO BE WITH YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND WANT TO HOLD YOU AND TOUCH YOU ALL THE TIME! KEEPING WARM IS ONE OF THE MANY BENEFITS : ) xJx”.

This morning, I woke up to find my phone in my hand with a half written message to Jake on the screen! I must have fallen asleep mid-message! I sent him a message telling him that and asking how he was and if I’ll get my fleece back. He replied, “AAH YOU’RE SO CUTE! I’M FINE! : ) IN FACT I’M MORE THAN FINE – I’M REALLY HAPPY! : ) THIS WEEK’S BEEN REALLY GOOD – WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF EACH OTHER! I’LL THINK ABOUT IT! xJx”. I think he means he’ll think about giving me my fleece back!

I’ve remembered other stuff about last night. He kept making really happy sort of sighing noises whenever we were on our own or kissing and he kept putting his finger on my nose every time I put my hands on his back or said something cheeky and stuff. Oh God, he’s so nice!!

The other weird coincidence was that Jake and I used to ride the same horse at the riding stables. It was called Taffy. I did it when I was at primary school though but he did at high school.


A good base for bad rumours – 15th May 2000

Monday 15th I got a few nice message off the gorgeous Jake in the night. I’d sent him one asking what he’d meant in an earlier message when he said we’d got our dark alley or something. His reply was, “I MEANT INSTEAD OF OUR DARK COUNTRY LANE! IT MADE UP FOR LAST FRI! WHY ARE YOU SO IRRESISTIBLE?! IT CAN’T BE GOOD FOR ME! LOVE YOU LOTS!! JAKE : ) xxxxx”.

I then reminded him that he was planning on getting rid of his sweet and innocent image! I also pointed out that this all must be good for him cos it’s not exactly bad at the moment. He then said, “NAH! I THINK THE SWEET + INNOCENT ME CAN STAY FOR A WHILE! IT ISN’T DOING BADLY, IS IT?! I MEANT MY BRAIN ISN’T FUNCTIONING PROPERLY – IT ONLY THINKS ABOUT YOU! xJx”. He sent me that message at exactly midnight!

I sent him one last message saying goodnight and explaining that I didn’t have enough credit to send any others. His last message to me was lovely! It said, “: ( WISH YOU COULD REVERSE THE CHARGES ON MESSAGES! IT’LL GIVE ME TIME TO THINK ABOUT YOU EVEN MORE! : ) YOU’RE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME + I LOVE YOU x”.

Jake came to college today wearing his pink shirt and shorts, oh, and his sunglasses that match his car! Guess what… everything but the glasses was Quiksilver!

Apparently when Gethin was on the phone to Sarah last night, he said he thinks “our Tess is getting it”! Great, that’s a good base for bad rumours to start from!

I tried to point out Sarah to Robbie today but he was either avoiding making eye contact or she ran off! I gave a photo to Jake to show him but when he showed Robbie he said he only goes for blondes or something!


It’s difficult controlling myself around him – 7th May 2000

Sunday 7th I got some nice messages off Jake last night. I sent him a message saying that Hayley had a lovebite and that it’s difficult controlling myself around him. He said, “TELL ME ABOUT IT! (NOT THE LOVE BITE! – THE CONTROLLING YOURSELF BIT!) I’VE GOT A THRESHOLD OF ABOUT 2 MINS BEFORE I WANT TO DIVE ON YOU! : ) LOVE YOU! xxxxx”.

I then said something about it being scary cos I never thought I’d get like this over someone and he said, “YOU KNOW WHAT! – BEFORE YOU I DIDN’T WANT A GIRLFRIEND – I JUST WANTED TO HAVE FUN AND BE SINGLE! NOT ANY MORE! I THOUGHT I KNEW WHAT LOVE WAS TOO! – I DIDN’T! xJx”.

Honestly, it’s sweet but some of the things he comes out with sometimes sound like they’ve come out of a soap opera script! Maybe they have!!

The last nice message came after I told him I did love him but I was falling asleep so I’d best say goodnight! He sent one then saying, “HAH LIGHTWEIGHT! YOU’RE LOSING YOUR NOCTERNALNESS! NIGHT NIGHT! WORDS CAN’T EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!! LOTS n LOTS n LOTS OF LOVE JAKE xxx : ) xxx”.

I got a message this morning from Jake. It said, “OH MY GOD! I’VE JUST BEEN WATCHING THE NEWS AND A GIRL WAS BADLY HURT WHEN SHE FELL OFF ONE OF THE RIDES AT KNUTSFORD! APPARENTLY IT WASN’T SAFE! : ( xJx”. I hope she’s okay. That’s quite scary actually. He then sent another with the name of the ride. It turned out to be the one we chickened out of going on!

It was the Swing Band concert at Formby Hall in Atherton this evening. It went really well, I think. Everyone expects us to be some crappy little school band and they’re then shocked when they hear us play cos we’re so good!

Bolton Wanderers are through to the first division play offs. I’m quite pleased about that! I wish Dad would take us to see them again.