Major long eye contact – 22nd-24th December 1998

Tuesday 22nd Pretty boring day coz cousins were at school. We met Rhian afterwards and she was following this Cal Brown lad. He’s not that nice. She also told me (after we’d gone!) that Ben McFarlane had been in Woolies. Never mind.

There was major long eye contact between me and this really nice lad in the town but I saw him smoking later on so that put me off.

I’m going to bed now.


Wednesday 23rd Yet again I’m severely pissed off.

I phoned Emma today and she told me what’s been happening. It’s not a lot really. She said she’s just been to Ed’s and his mum came back whilst she and Dougie were in the loft or something.

Anyway, I’m annoyed because she also told me that she’s going to Zoe’s New Year’s Eve party and so are loads of other people including Ewan. They’re all going to be enjoying themselves whilst I’ll be stuck collecting glasses at the bleeding Sports Club with Hayley and loads of people over the age of 40. [40 seemed absolutely ancient to me then. Not so much now…]

Mind you, Ewan did say that if it was going to be all lads at Zoe’s party then he wasn’t going to go but Emma’ll be there and a few other girls and a lot of his mates so that means he probably will go.

It’s unfair. I’ll never get him. I can never go where he goes and the other way round. After New Year, there’s no reason for anyone to party so I may as well just give up. Nobody seems to give a toss but it’s really upsetting and annoying me and there’s nothing I can do about it now. I’ve left it too late.


Thursday 24th Nobody seems to have bothered with me much this week. I’m feeling neglected!

Seriously though, all Auntie S ever seems to say is “Oh, poor Tess”. I don’t know why. Is there some reason I don’t know about that I should get sympathy for?

I think all the adults think I’m stupid coz I worry too much. Just because I’ve mentioned exams and stuff a couple of times, they keep telling me that it doesn’t matter and stuff. I know but I still don’t want to fail them.

I think Tom and Minnie reckon I’m boring or summit coz they seem to prefer Abby. It’s fine and they’re all over me until she comes in. I don’t think she or Rhian can be bothered with me either. I went home from the town coz I got bored of shopping and since then they’ve only stayed in the same room as me for a few minutes before they went elsewhere.


I’ve seen some weird things – 20th & 21st December 1998

Sunday 20th Okay, I’m in the hotel at Dunkeld now and I’m bored. I’ve got to wait ages before we go down for dinner and I’m hungry already.

I’ve seen some weird things from the car on the way here. I saw:

  • a pig on the motorway embankment
  • a Mini in a field
  • horses on a cliff
  • a clown driving down the motorway
  • an ostrich
  • 2 herons in a field of sheep
  • some really big bird on a fence

I’m really worried that I’m going to miss summit at home. I bet all my friends will do loads of stuff this week and then nothing next week and that Ewan’ll get a girlfriend or will end up obsessively fancying someone or summit. Not much I can do about it now though considering how far away I am.

I really want Ewan. It’s not fair. I s’pose it’s my own fault for not talking to him.

I really need something to happen that’ll boost my confidence a bit and that’ll just generally make my happy. It’s not like I’m really depressed or anything at the moment but I’m just getting a bit stressed out about all these mock exams and my skin and what my friends’ll get up to while I’m away and the fact that no lad I like ever seems to like me back.

I want something that I can talk about for ages after it’s happened. A good thing, of course. Like Austria. So much happened on that holiday. Good, fun stuff that me and my mates are still discussing now. And that was way back in February. Oh well, I’ll just have to see if anything happens. I doubt it somehow.


Monday 21st I’m at my cousins’ house in Wick now. Tom and Minnie are all over me and Abby but I don’t think Rhian really wants to know now she’s 13. I think she’d rather be at her mate Lorna Gray’s house than with us. She’s not breaking up from school until Wednesday so we have even less time with her coz we’re going on Sunday. Then on top of that she’s got school discos and stuff.

It’s not even snowing.

Me and Abby are going to be so bored while they’re at school coz there’s nothing really to do round here. I also know I’ve gotta get some homework and revision in at some point. It’s all too much.


I’ve got mock exams on the first day back. AARRGH! – 16th & 19th December 1998

Friday 18th P. [Period]

I was sick this morning on the pavement just after Mum had dropped me off for school so Abby and Jacqueline took me to Sadie’s and her mum phoned my mum so I got the day off. I’d rather have gone in coz I won’t see a lot of people for a while now but I was being sick loads so it’s a good job I didn’t.

Emma and Hayley told me on the phone that I didn’t miss much. Emma’s got my flute, one of her spare presents and a Xmas card from Ewan for me so I’ll get them tomorrow.

I went to the Sports Club with Hayley and Johnny Doherty and Jack Eddison were there. Jack said he and Naveen are going to the New Year’s Eve do there so we’ll probably see them.


Saturday 19th First day of the Xmas hols. I’d rather be in school. No I wouldn’t. Oh, I dunno. I can’t be bothered with lessons but I like the social side of things and I’m not going to see Ewan for at least two weeks and I’ve got to revise coz I’ve got mock exams on the first day back. AARRGH! That’s not good.

At least I don’t have to get up early for a while and I’m going to Wick for about a week tomorrow.

I saw Emma today. She didn’t have a lot to tell me coz I didn’t miss a lot yesterday. She gave me Ewan’s card though. I’ve stuck it on the next page.

I’d better go and pack anyway, so…


[I'm shocked I didn't make more of the fact that he used the word 'love'.]

[I’m shocked I didn’t make more of the fact that he used the word ‘love’.]

We discovered a place called Twatt! – 1st-7th August 1998

Saturday 1st Spent most of the day travelling then stopped here at the Royal Dunkeld Hotel. There was a Scottie dog here called Fergus at the same time as us.

I thought I had a brain tuma [Oh, come on. I was a better speller than that.] coz I’d had a headache all day but Mum and Dad said it was sinusitis coz it was in my nose too.

At tea there was this man with really bad B.O. and we had to move coz Abby was nearly sick!


Sunday 2nd I got even more worried about my brain as I had another headache.

We stayed overnight ay my cousins’ house in Wick but their family went away so we didn’t see them then. When we got there we realised that the tickets for the ferry to Orkney were gone so Mum had to sort it out.

I needed a hug for some reason and started wishing I had a boyfriend. I dunno what brought it on but then I remembered that I could’ve been going out with Ralph. Yuk!

On the way to Wick, we had a toilet stop in Aviemore and saw Smithy (in Year 11) and his brother from our school. I don’t think they saw us though.


Monday 3rd We got the ferry over to Orkney. It was a bit choppy but I was okay. So was Mollie. We weren’t sure how she’d be on a boat.

We had our 1st night at the Merkister Hotel by Loch Harray. Brown and boring summed it up. Dad couldn’t fish coz it was too windy.

I did see a lad at the hotel but only from a distance. Everyone else was at least 60 except my family.


Tuesday 4th I saw the lad again. This time he was wearing a baseball cap and was going fishing. He was sorting out the boats so I think he worked there. He wasn’t bad looking. He was tall with dark hair and about 16.

We also went to see Uncle D, Auntie M, David and Harry at their new house. They have 2 kittens called Lucky and Gismo. So cute!


Wednesday 5th The lad at the Merkister saw me. I got a closer look. He wasn’t very nice but wasn’t bad.

On the way to our 2nd hotel, the Barony, we discovered a place called Twatt! Ha ha!

[By Captzimmo via Wikipedia]

[By Captzimmo via Wikipedia]

The Barony is better coz it’s not as brown as the Merkister and there’s a little kid called Sarah there who’s 6 with her little brother Scott who’s 4. They live there and Sarah was funny at tea. She’d been telling us about some people who worked there. She then pointed out a waitress and we asked what the waitress was called. Sarah said she wasn’t sure but it was “N or something”. She went to check and it wasn’t N, it was Dee. Getting her letters mixed up!

We also visited Uncle D and co today.


Thursday 6th Went into Kirkwall and bought a Reebok sweatshirt, black combats [Ah, combat pants not Adidas/Kappa pants. This must’ve been the All Saints era.], touchstone [What?], and a mini Scottie dog. We also went to see Uncle D at The Body Shop.

Dad finally got to go fishing even though it was still windy. He caught 4.

At Kirkwall there was this gorgeous lad with an alright mate who walked past. The gorgeous one looked at me and again when we were walking off. I know coz we both looked at the same time. He was blonde, tallish (but not lanky) and drop dead gorgeous.

We also found a beach so we walked Mollie there. There was an okay lad there too playing footing and wearing a baseball cap. [My diary at the moment is just a record of locations of fit, baseball cap-wearing lads of the UK.]


Friday 7th We said bye to Uncle D in Kirkwall and went to Stromness to get the ferry to Scrabster. On the crossing we saw puffins, a shark’s fin and a flat fish thing and tonnes of jellyfish.

We were finally back in Wick but had to wait for my cousins to come home. Rhian’s room smelt really bad! I think summit was going mouldy in there.


Sticking the poppers on our coats together – 9th April 1998

Thursday 9th I hate it when you get days like today where there’s nothing much to do and you’re bored coz it just seems like a waste of holiday.

Emma was fed up too so I went round to her house and we mostly just watched TV and talked about Camelot. She and Freddie reckon that Ralph fancies me and I can’t really say that I couldn’t possibly agree with them because, judging from yesterday, I could.

It was just little things he did or said that they and I noticed:

  • the end of the Tower of Terror when I banged my head
  • the top of the Pendragon thing when he didn’t make any fuss about sitting with me when normally he would
  • the hands on my shoulders at the log flume
  • trying to get me to go on the dark ride again
  • sticking the poppers on our coats together in the queue for Venom
  • sticking up for me with the log flume thing when Dougie and Ed were taking the piss

I found out the full story of the log flume today coz Emma brought it up saying that he liked me. We were trying to get all 6 of us on one so Dougie said to try and make the group look smaller. He told Ralph to do to me when Freddie was doing to Emma. I couldn’t see what that was but Dougie put Ralph’s hands on my shoulders. That was the point when I started paying attention and thought, “Oh heck, that’s happening?!”

Emma said that Ralph looked round at everyone with a what’s-he-up-to look on his face. Emma thought he’d pull away from me but he surprised them all and didn’t. Then Ed and Dougie started saying, “Let’s all hold on to Tess!” and were grabbing hold of me. I was telling them to geroff and Ralph started going, “Stop it, you’re scaring her.” AS IF! It was nice of him to stick up for me though.

Emma keeps saying that I should go out with him but I don’t know what I’d say if he asked me.

Drop dead gorgeous! – 21st – 24th December 1997

Sunday 21st I’m in Wick now. I’m sitting writing this in Rhian’s bedroom whist she and Abby are pissing about with a majorette’s baton. Now Rhian is trying to see what I’m writing so I’m just going to turn away.

That’s better.

I had the day off school on Friday for no reason really except to get sorted for coming here. I took my hamster round to Cat’s and she said I hasn’t missed much.

We travelled all day yesterday and stayed in the Royal Dunkeld Hotel for the night. It was really nice. Then we travelled all day here today. There’s no snow which is disappointing.


Monday 22nd Man Utd beat Newcastle 1-0 last night. Andy Cole scored. I forgot to mention it yesterday.

Rhian, Abby and I went down the town today coz Rhian had some MAD (Music, Arts + Drama) thing on the back of a lorry in the Market Square so Abby and I arranged to meet Dad outside Boots so we could get some more Xmas pressies for Mum. We got quite a few.

I saw this Kenny Blaine who Rhian worships. My 1st reaction was, “Urgh, gross!!!” He is. He’s a complete minger! He looks camp too. I dunno why. I think it was the tight leather jacket and his walk.

I also think I saw Ben McFarlane. He’s my Auntie S’s friend’s son and drop dead gorgeous! He was wearing a baseball cap and sports gear.

I’ve had my cousin Tom mithering us all day to play Scattergories with him and we’ve managed not to give in yet!


Wednesday 24th Xmas Eve!

We went down the town again today to take more cards to people. I saw Ben McFarlane again (it was him on Monday) and I had to cycle slowly past him and his mate. He didn’t have a cap on but he had a bright blue Adidas sweatshirt. Abby and Rhian think he’s minging but I don’t.

As we were passing them, he did turn round and summit about him reminded me of Harry Preston from school.

Tonight we helped Auntie S set out carrot tops and mud for our little cousins Tom and Minnie tomorrow.

[The carrot tops and mud totally fooled them into thinking Rudoph and co had been in their garden. They failed to notice the ‘reindeer droppings’ were raisins or Nesquik cereal too, THE IDIOTS.]

December 1997 - Xmas bye

It’s not that obvious, is it? – 2nd November 1997

Sunday 2nd I’m going ice skating tomorrow and I’ve spent most of today at Emma’s planning it. This is what’s meant to happen:-

  • 11:15 am – I get to Emma’s house on my bike.
  • 11:45 am – Meet Zoe and Neil Kennedy at the park.
  • After that, we get the bus to Warrington Bus Station then, from there, get another bus to Altrincham.
  • Meet Ralph and Freddie (possibly Dougie) at the ice rink at 2:00 pm.

I doubt it’ll go as planned.

Emma invited Neil when she went to a bonfire last night and she said Zoe was dropping hints so she ended up asking her too. Nobody wants ‘em to come. I know coz we phoned Ralph and checked everything and he wasn’t exactly discrete about it! We also phoned Dougie and I get the impression her didn’t really want to come anyway and he said he had to look after his sister but he might make it.

Emma keeps asking me if I fancy Freddie and I keep denying it. It’s not that obvious, is it? [Probably.]


I had a lasagne. It was nice. – 31st October 1997

Friday 31st

October 1997 - Ticket 2

I can’t believe it. They’ve found Louise Woodward guilty of murdering Matthew Eappen. How? I don’t understand it. The two lie detector tests say she was telling the truth and the doctors say something happened to the baby 2 or 3 weeks before he died. So many people are angry about it, especially her family and people who knew her in Cheshire. It’s unbelievable. I hope they sort it out.

Today was ok. Mum took me and Abby to the shops coz Auntie G had to work. On her birthday too! I got a new watch strap coz Abby broke it last night and we went in Harrods and got a cake. Mum booked the BBC tour and we ate our lunch in some park with the pigeons and squirrels.

October 1997 - London

We wandered about for ages until it was time for our tour. It was so boring. It was more radio than TV and they showed us boring films. It’s crap compared to the Granada one.

October 1997 - BBC tour

We met Auntie G and went for an Italian in Covent Garden. I had a lasagne. It was nice.

I’m knackered now after walking round all day.


P.S. I bought a weird keyring in Monsoon.

October 1997 - Receipt

There was no point in asking Davis. Phew! – 30th October 1997

Thursday 30th

October 1997 - Ticket 1
Boring this morning just waiting to leave for London. Freda phoned too asking if I wanted to go to The Cliff. [Manchester United’s training ground at the time.] I said I couldn’t coz I had to catch a train so she said she’d try and get some autographs from the players for me.

Emma phoned too to say that Lizzie couldn’t come skating so there was no point in asking Davis. Phew! We still don’t know if Dougie’s going to be away or not. So far it’s just Emma, me, Freddie and Ralph.

I spent most of this afternoon watching the Louise Woodward trail on Sky TV. I don’t think she killed the baby. Most of the evidence proves that. The jury still haven’t reached a verdict.

Dad took us to the station and we arrived in London at about 6:00 pm. I want to go to bed now so…


I DON’T WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL YET!!! – 2nd September 1997

Tuesday 2nd My mum took me to Grizedale Forest today in the Lake District because that’s where Andy Goldsworthy does some of his work so we thought it could be quite interesting. My sister Abby and her friend Cassie Forrester came too coz they had nothing else to do. Emma came as well coz she is also researching Andy’s work. Oh yeah, we took our Scottie (Mollie) too as it’s a forest walk and dogs are allowed.

It took us a couple of hours to get there and we were all feeling pretty travel sick when we did coz the roads in the Lakes tend to be very windy.

We had lunch on a picnic bench when we arrived and then went on some of the walks.

September 1997 - Grizedale (4)

It was better than I expected actually even though it did rain a bit. We took plenty of photos coz the sculptures were all dead good. [They must’ve been AMAZING to get a ‘dead good’ out of teenage me.]

September 1997 - Grizedale to use

We saw one of Goldsworthy’s called Seven Spires but the rest were too far away. Anyway, I did get postcards and a few photos but they probably won’t be developed in time for my first Art lesson.

I’ve still got loads of work left and only one more day to do it in. Plus I’ve got to pack my bag, sort out my uniform and equipment, phone my friends to check stuff etc. It’s gonna be a busy day! [Packing a bag, picking an outfit and talking to my friends would be a lovely, lazy day for 2015 Tess. I do all that in half an hour most mornings.]

Emma’s also put me in an awkward position by asking me if I want to go to Bolton to find her a pair of shoes. I found it hard to say no but I did manage to get out of it. I hate shopping anyway, especially for other people!


Only one more day to go! It doesn’t seem like 6 weeks since I was I Year 9. Woah! That’s another thing. Writing ‘Year 10’ on stuff!