God knows what it is! – 12th February 2001

Monday 12th
7 weeks + 3 days to go!

Not a lot happened in college today. We’ve been growing bacteria on agar plates in Biology and today we looked at the results. However, the bacteria growing should have been a harmless purple one but there was a clear slimy one growing instead! God knows what it is! If all our Biology class becomes ill then we know why! The plates must have got contaminated with another bacteria somehow. Yuk!

I took the film Jake sent me to the chemist today to get it developed. I can get it back tomorrow morning so I hope it doesn’t make me cry in college when I look at the photos!

I ended up crying on the phone to him again tonight but then so did he! I’d been joking about running off with Mr C the cute Maths teacher if Jake didn’t come back but he seemed to take me seriously, told me he didn’t like me anymore and that I annoy him. Not surprisingly, that upset me!

He said he was only joking too (and I think he was but it didn’t sound like that!) and then he ended up getting upset too cos he said he misses me and doesn’t like the thought of me with other men/lads and he’s really protective of me.

Well, I miss his too… lots! I just want a hug from him, right now!


Today’s emails →

12-02-01 Jake email12-02-01 Tess email


I only stalled it twice – 11th February 2001

Sunday 11th
7 weeks + 4 days to go!

I’ve been with Jake for ONE WHOLE YEAR!!!

I can’t believe we’ve been together that long. I mean, we met first a week ago today but he only asked me out properly this time last year. I wish he was here 😦 I need a hug!

We’ve been together for a year and I still don’t know what to call him! It seems right to put “Jake” on cards and things cos that’s always how he signs things to me but when I’m speaking to him, I don’t know what he wants to be called!

Ooh, I had my 1st driving lesson this morning! I wasn’t really nervous until I woke up this morning. My lesson was from 10:30 am to 12:30 pm and my instructor’s called Charles. He was a bit miserable and talked really slowly but he was alright. I understood what he was saying and he seemed very calm which is good, I suppose! He also teaches Colin McKay who’s in the year below me in college.

The 1st thing I did was sit in the driver’s seat on Hall Drive and he went through what everything inside the car did. Then he let me drive it round the roundabout at the top (where Declan lives) before stopping again to explain the mirrors. I only stalled it twice and he said it was cos I was wearing trainers and the soles were wet and therefore slipping off the clutch cos it was raining.

He let me drive again and I thought he was going to tell me to turn down Hodge Drive where it was quiet but instead I had to go onto Wellington Road! I wasn’t as scared as I thought I might be actually cos I did feel in control! He then made me drive up Crofters Lane and then stop going up the motorway bridge to do a hill start. I managed it quite well so I did a downhill start too!

At the end of the lesson, I parked up Oak Lane and he told me that I’d done well. He said he goes at different paces with different people and that he’d got through a lot with me. I have to say, I felt quite pleased with myself and I did enjoy it!

I wasn’t expecting to go on any main roads though cos everyone else I spoke to said the either did it round quiet housing estates or on car parks.

I spoke to Jake this evening. He was having a day off today cos it’s Sunday. He told me he’s glad I enjoyed my driving lesson and he sounded surprised I’d done so much. We got onto the subject of skiing and I ended up crying a bit cos I really miss him and really want to go skiing. He said he really does want to go skiing with me one day and that I don’t have to worry about him being better than me cos he reckons I’m probably better than a few people on his course.

Hmm, why are they doing it then?!

I mean, I can ski and I’m not bad at it considering I’ve only been twice. I was better than him when I was in Austria anyway! I still think he’d show off and try and tell me what to do if I went skiing with him but I really do want to go again!


Today’s emails →

11-02-01 Jake email11-02-01 Tess email

She sounded like a right cocky little slapper!  – 10th February 2001

Saturday 10th
7 weeks + 5 days to go!

I went to an open day at the Uni of Central Lancashire today. It was really, really disorganised! Nobody who was doing environmental stuff or geography had been sent a letter to say what was going on.

We were taken on a tour firth by a lad from Transylvania. He couldn’t speak much English and kept getting lost. I felt really sorry for him actually cos it was the 1st time he’d done a tour.

Everyone Mum and I spoke to seemed to be doing Forensic Science except one girl from Barnsley. Eventually we were told where we had to go and we were introduced to other people doing Geography and stuff who were a bit lost too.

One person was a lad called Christopher who was with his mum too so my mum and his started chatting. He was nice and smiley and kept looking at me. I could have fancied him, had I been single! He was from down south somewhere and wants to go to uni in Manchester. He reminded me a bit of Niall Cafferty in Jake’s year – I think it was his eyes.

There was only me there who was wanting to do Environmental Science! This bloke showed Mum and me round the department and told us about the course. I have to say, the field trips sound better than Huddersfield cos they go abroad (including Vancouver!) but I still want to go to Hudds cos overall it seems much better.

Mum and I had a quick look round Preston and she bought me some jeans from New Look. We were home by about 4:30pm so I got to speak to Jake at about 6:30. It was quite a bad line and I couldn’t hear him all that well actually. I told him about today but he didn’t have much to tell me.

His mate Ali is going over to visit him soon. That doesn’t seem fair! 😦 Jake said some other lad’s girlfriend is going over to visit and he’s really jealous! I wish I could go! His roommate even said that if I did visit, he’d sleep in someone else’s room so we could have it to ourselves. That’s really nice!

Some girl walked past the phone and shouted, “Hi Jacob’s girlfriend!” I don’t know why but that really pissed me off! I think he said it was that one called Abbie. It was just the way she said it, I think… she sounded like a right cocky little slapper! I think it’s the way she called him “Jacob” too (in that annoying whiney voice!) that annoyed me – she sounded familiar somehow.

I think it’s cos the only people I hear call him Jacob are his family and Hugo. I never call him anything to his face cos I don’t know what to call him. She did and that doesn’t seem right. I’ve always known him as Jake and he always writes “J” on everything but then other people call him Jacob. I’m just going to have to stick with “Oi!” until I’m told otherwise!


Today’s emails →

10-02-01 Jake email10-02-01 Tess email

There was much lesbianism occurring! – 9th February 2001

Friday 9th
7 weeks + 6 days to go!

I was really disappointed this morning cos when I checked my email in college, I did have one from Jake but it didn’t say anything. I didn’t worry though because he’d obviously tried to send me one and must have accidentally deleted whatever he’d written before sending it.

I spoke to him on the phone at about 6:30pm before I went out. He was really annoyed about me not getting an email because he says he spent ages typing one out. He doesn’t know what happened to it but it could be because he replied to mine and then accidentally deleted his part as well as my part that he was replying to. I can’t really remember what else we talked about but it wasn’t a long conversation anyway.

As predicted by everyone today, tonight did turn out to be quite eventful! We all did The Run [a pub crawl] (again!) because Declan wanted to do it for his 17th birthday (which is actually next Thursday) and so there were quite a lot of people there. The college 1 girls were being very loud and VERY annoying so we did our best to keep out of their way.

I spoke to Robbie quite a bit, even though we’ve both been told not to talk to each other! He was drinking straight Coke cos his dad says he’s not allowed out if he gets into the state he did last week again! We do get on alright actually!

Gethin confessed a few things to me tonight. He finally admitted to trying it on with Jake when they had to share a bed once at Sarah’s house! He said he hadn’t told me before cos he thought I might kill him! Gethin also admitted that he had once fancied him too!

Later on, on the walk to The Coach and Horses, Gethin told me and Sarah that he was going to explode if he didn’t snog Rory by the end of the night! He did actually launch himself at Rory when we were back at Declan’s!

Meanwhile, there was much lesbianism occurring! Lizzie had befriended Nell the lesbian cos they had Declan and Kim who they could slag off together. Apparently, Nell then tried to go with [snog] Lizzie in The Green Dragon toilets but Karen was in there so nothing happened. That is until they were at the bar! Nell lunged again and they ended up snogging in front of everyone!

However, soon after, Nell was in tears cos she wants Kim but Kim wants Declan or some girl called Leanne! Kim wouldn’t even speak to Nell even to calm her down so loads of people ended up having a go at Kim.

Also at The Dragon, Emma managed to steal the totem pole that WAS in one of the windows! It’s quite big and she’s been saying for ages that she wanted it and this week she got it! All she did was unscrew it using a Swiss army knife and then smuggle it out under her coat!

Sarah told me she still fancies Gethin so a few of us spent a lot of time telling her it was pointless cos he’s gay! I don’t think we changed her mind though.

I’m sure other stuff happened but I can’t think what it was right now!


P.S. Jake told me on the phone that if I haven’t got an email on Sunday it’s cos there’s a “customer appreciation day” at the internet café and he thinks it might be busy so he might not get to a computer.

The mail I sent Jake when I got home! →

09-02-01 Tess email

Mum let me drive the car round Asda car park – 7th February 2001

Wednesday 7th
8 weeks + 1 days to go!

It turns out that we were probably along the right lines about why Declan dumped Lizzie. Apparently, Robbie told Freda then Freda told Karen who told me that Declan wants to be single for the ski trip so he can take advantage of Kim while she’s drunk!

That’s so unfair on Lizzie! She must have liked him cos she did actually get upset yesterday afternoon and that’s not at all like her.

I spoke to Jake at about 7pm tonight. He said he’d tried to ring earlier but it was engaged cos my mum was using the phone. He didn’t go snowboarding today 🙂 because the people who were meant to be teaching it couldn’t be arsed! He promises me he won’t do it again cos boards are too expensive to hire.

Mum let me drive the car round Asda car park tonight cos I didn’t go kickboxing cos my legs are still tingling a bit when I walk and stuff. It was really good! Mum said I did really well cos I didn’t stall it or anything until I’d stopped to get out so Mum could take us home.

I want a car now!


Today’s emails →

07-02-01 Jake email07-02-01 Tess email

We all think that’s bollocks – 6th February 2001

Tuesday 6th
8 weeks + 2 days to go!

I did get an email back off Jake! 🙂 I was relieved I’d got one because I’m still bothered about the snowboarding thing! All morning I felt like I was about to cry any second! I was okay later on though!

Declan’s dumped Lizzie! We all thought it’d be the other way around! He’s not given her a proper reason for it. All he said was that it wasn’t the right time or something. We all think that’s bollocks and that lesbian Kim’s got something to do with it cos he used to fancy her and probably still does, even though she had a girlfriend not that long ago.

Jake phoned me at about 6:15pm today. I was expecting him to ring at about 7:30 like he said he would so it was a nice surprise. It turned out he was having a day off cos it’s apparently -40oC and he’s got a cold and is aching all over so I got to have a nice long conversation with him!

He said he only did one hour of snowboarding and he’s doing another hour tomorrow and then that’s it. He told me he might not do Level 2 of this course cos it costs more money and he doesn’t think he’s good enough so he says he’s probably going to do some avalanche course, a first aid course and then shadow some instructors for the last 6 weeks.

He told me that he’s put some of the photos of me in a picture frame that’s above his bed and that quite a few people have seen them. I don’t want anyone to see them cos they’re horrible photos! He won’t take them down though cos he said he likes being able to see me in the morning and stuff. He also told me that I’m pretty which is why he first started liking me before he knew me! Hah!

He kept telling me that he loves me 🙂 and that he really misses me too. Good!


Today’s emails →

06-02-01 Jake email06-02-01 Tess email

He’s bloody well learning to snowboard – 5th February 2001

Monday 5th
8 weeks + 3 days to go!

I managed to avoid Robbie today. I did see him but didn’t look him in the eye cos I have no idea how annoyed he is with me.

After college, Jake’s dad turned up at our house. He just dropped off a book for me about Barcelona but he stayed for a drink with Mum, Dad and me in the kitchen, talking about his trip to Peru and stuff. I didn’t know he was going to call round. Maybe he feels guilty and is trying to make up for it or something!

Jake phoned at about 7:40pm. I thought he’d been shadowing an instructor all morning but it turns out he’d been snowboarding instead. He said the people who could snowboard had to teach the people who couldn’t, including him. I am extremely pissed off cos that’s dashed all my hopes of being able to ski OR snowboard with him now he can do both. It’s just not fair!

He promised me he wouldn’t do any boarding so we could both learn together because neither of us could do it. It’s just ruined it now. I love skiing and unless I want to be completely shown up by him then I can’t do that with him (and I can’t afford to go on my own and have no friends who can do it) and now he’s bloody well learning to snowboard too so he’s gonna have a head start in that too.

In fact, his exact words in an email I got on Fri 26th Jan were: “We’ll both learn to snowboard together!!! 😦 I’m not touching a board while I’m here cos the chance of killing myself increases by about 3 times!!!” I’m just so disappointed cos I really did want to do that, especially with him.

Sarah and I (plus a few others) were thinking of going and having boarding lessons at Sheffield and I didn’t tell Jake cos I thought he might get lessons himself to catch up with me. If I go now then he’s going to think I’m just doing it to copy him! 😦 I suppose I should still do it but I liked the thought of being able to do something cool that he couldn’t. Now I can’t.

I’ve been considering sending a 2nd mail to him tonight telling him all this and asking him why he hung up so quickly tonight on the phone without saying he loves me or anything but I don’t know if I should cos last time I told him how I was feeling, he got all funny with me. I think I’ll just leave it and hope he phones tomorrow night then I can tell him then instead.


P.S. I just mailed Jake again! I tried to be nice! Hotmail seemed to be playing up a bit so I hope he can read them and send one back alright! 😦

Today’s emails →

05-02-01 Jake email05-02-01 Tess email 105-02-01 Tess email 2