Pissing me off and making me paranoid – 9th to 11th November 2001

Friday 9th  I was late for my Chemistry lab this morning cos of a massive queue for the bus. I went down to the bus stop at the normal time and there were so many more people there than usual for some reason. The 8:40 bus left early cos it got full so I went to talk to Layla who was about 5 people behind me. That was a mistake cos just as we got on the bus, 2 lad pushed in front of us so we had to get off again cos it was full. I wasn’t impressed.

Due to me being late, everyone had started their experiments and were all paired up so Dr Garrood made me go and work with the Food Science lot who were a 3. I got paired up with Bronwen of all people! Actually, she seems quite nice and I feel a bit guilty for being all bitter about her now.

Ben came over and talked to me for no reason at one point and then walked with me all the way to McDonald’s.

Bye!

Saturday 10th  Mum picked me up last night and took me home so I spent all of today at home, working on damn soil coursework.

I got my new laptop from Mum and Dad which is a birthday present. It’s so cool!

I came back to Hudds tonight and just stayed in and watched TV with Kevin.

Bye!

Sunday 11th  I worked on that fucking soil thing all day again with Kevin’s help. We then went up to the Arbar with Archie. Ben and his flatmates were there and the girls were really pissing me off and making me paranoid by constantly turning round and looking at us. Every time I caught them, they looked away quickly. Ben came over but only for about 2 minutes and then went away again.

After the Arbar, we decided to go and have another look at what Kevin thinks is the morgue in the woods. It so isn’t. We didn’t stay long though cos it was a bit scary so we went back to my room instead.

Archie said Bronwen thinks Jake is quite fit.

Bye!

Jen thinks he’s cute. I agree! – 8th November 2001

Thursday 8th  A few of us went round to Kevin’s flat this evening in an attempt to finish a piece of coursework on soil. Ben was there and I actually really quite like him. Jen’s mate Kerry also fancied him and Jen thinks he’s cute. I agree! He played noughts and crosses with me in a crap lecture today but I sent him 2 messages and he didn’t reply to them. He usually does.

When we got sick of coursework and soil, we all decided to go out. We started off in the Arbar then went to Bar Non. I was a bit disappointed when Ben didn’t come but we didn’t stay long anyway cos it was a bit boring.

On the way from the bus back to the Arbar, it started snowing!! It was so good! It didn’t last long but it still happened and it’s only November. I hope it snows on my birthday.

Kevin didn’t come out cos he said he wasn’t over me and so didn’t want to or something.

I saw Jake with some really tall, blonde, good-looking girl in Bar Non. He said “Hi” as they walked past but that was it. I didn’t see him snog her or owt but she was following him.

Archie was being nice to me. He said he liked my top again.

Kevin gave me one of my birthday presents early tonight, seeing as I was going out. It was a bottle of blue Aftershock. 🙂 That’s really good but really expensive and I so didn’t deserve it after dumping him.

Bye!

I actually felt a bit jealous for a minute or two – 7th November 2001

Wednesday 7th  Kevin was being really quiet all day until we got to the Arbar this evening. He was being really fully of himself and going on about how good he is at stuff e.g. maths, running, and pool, and then he started scaring me and Archie by saying we shouldn’t leave work until the last minute and shouldn’t go out as often. Apparently that’s how he ended up getting kicked out of Lancaster. Maybe he’s right but he didn’t half think he knew it all.

Another thing that annoyed me was Kevin saying I’ve got Archie “wrapped round my little finger” as if I was using him and stuff cos I knew he likes me. I had no reason to think that until Kevin said stuff yesterday on the phone. Anyway, I only sent Archie to the bar.

At one point in the evening, I had Kevin, Ben, Archie and Storecard all sat round my table. It’s weird! I don’t think any of them, except Kevin, like me that much though.

Ben was saying today that he didn’t get to sleep until 7am this morning cos he stayed in some girl’s room all night. Jodie, I assume. I actually felt a bit jealous for a minute or two.

Jen’s mate Kerry was visiting tonight but they didn’t stay in the Arbar long. Jen said we’ve got to live together next year with maybe Archie and Kevin. To be honest, I don’t think I could stand living with Kevin. Both he and Archie said they liked my top though. 🙂

Bye!

I should’ve kept my gob shut – 6th November 2001

Tuesday 6th  I felt very rough this morning and I was even sick which doesn’t happen to me very often. It must’ve been all that mingin’ vodka. Urrgghh!!

I missed my Ecology lecture first thing and just went to the Maths test instead. If I completely fail it, I won’t be surprised!

Jen managed to make it in too. She said that bloke was still in the room this morning but she can’t really remember what happened. She reckons she was too pissed to do much. Probably!

Kevin got all confused after what I said last night and thought I wanted to get back together. I knew I should’ve kept my gob shut! I explained to him that I don’t want to get back together yet because I don’t want to be tied down to a boyfriend when I haven’t settled in properly yet. I still want to make friends and stuff but that’s less likely to happen if he’s always around. I feel like I should go out with him even though I’d rather go out with my flatmates. When I was with Jake, there was a point when my mates got a bit pissed off cos I was always with him. I don’t want that to happen here cos I don’t want to annoy people before they even know me properly.

What I didn’t mention to Kevin was that I also quite like Ben. All of what I said was true but I could hardly tell him that bit. Kevin also irritates me quite often when he thinks he knows everything, constantly talks about himself and tries to help me but actually makes me feel stupid and gives me the impression that he doesn’t think I’m capable of sorting myself out. I know he doesn’t mean to be like that but I really can’t stand it sometimes.

On the phone he mentioned he knew a few people who like me. I eventually managed to get him to tell me. He reckons Archie fancies me cos he told Kevin that if he wasn’t with me then he’d go for me himself. Ben also apparently told Rick (who told Kevin) that he still likes me. I don’t know how long ago that was but it was after Freshers’ Week anyway. Quite pleased about that but Ben doesn’t act like he’s interested so what can I do? It’d be cruel to Kevin anyway. Even though I’ve dumped him, it’s not like I can do much with other lads anyway. Well, not without feeling (and being) like a complete bitch!

Bye!

Up her top or down her pants – 5th November 2001

Monday 5th  Jen moved to Storthes properly today so we made sure we went out into town to introduce her to the Huddersfield nightlife.

I went to the Arbar (cos they had a bonfire and stuff) with Layla and her mates and boyfriend, and I was meant to meet Jen there but couldn’t find her. I went back to my room to get changed and watched the firework display which was right outside my window, and then finally managed to get hold of Jen.

Kevin, Archie, Jen and I were the only ones who went out in the end but it was still quite good. We got the Vodka Bus down to Revolution where Jen made me buy 6 shots for £5 cos she was too. I didn’t take much persuading but then I was very, very pissed afterwards.

We then made our way to Camel Club where Jen started dancing, Archie tried to avoid her, and Kevin and I had a chat. I told him I was kind of regretting my decision to dump him, which was true because he looked really nice and I just wanted to snog him. I probably shouldn’t have said that but I wasn’t anywhere near sober so it just came out. Nothing happened though.

Jen told me that Kevin was worried there’s something going on between me and Ben cos she told him Ben had something to do with me making up my mind to dump him.

Jen ended up spending most of the night snogging random blokes and trying to keep the fact that one had his hand up her top or down her pants hidden! It didn’t work. I was very obvious and even a bouncer came over and told them to calm down!

I found a condom in Archie’s wallet so he and Kevin told me to give it to Jen. I tried but she was so pissed she couldn’t grip it hard enough to get hold of it.

When we were going to get a taxi, Jen and her bloke caused us to take ages by stopping in every shop doorway along the way. When we eventually got a taxi, she refused to get in it without her bloke and got one back later. God knows where she is now!

Bye!

I’LL ALWAYS B WAITING 4 U – 3rd & 4th November 2001

Saturday 3rd  Ben was texting me all day today saying he’ll let me know how Kevin is and stuff. Kevin rang me pretty early on and said that he’ll wait and see if I change my mind but won’t mither me. He also sent a nice message saying, “I COULDN’T SAY THIS IN THE PHONE BUT LIKE U SAID, IT’S EASIER TO SAY IT IN A TEXT MESSAGE. MY FEELINGS FOR U WON’T CHANGE SO I’LL ALWAYS B WAITING 4 U WHEN UR READY. X” Aww! I feel sooo guilty now but then it wasn’t fair to carry on seeing him either, I suppose.

Abby and I went up to the Arbar for about 5 minutes but left so quickly cos it was crap. I don’t know where everyone was. Actually, they were probably either at home or recovering from last night. I saw Kevin briefly too. He was on his way home as I was arriving and didn’t say much.

Bye!

Sunday 4th  Abby went home this afternoon and I spent the rest of the day panicking about work and being thick. Ok, so I’m not totally thick but I don’t half feel it sometimes. I’ve got so much work too, all of which needs to be done on computer which I haven’t got and all the ones at uni are being used by other panicky people.

I went to the Arbar again tonight with Marc, Lewis and Marc’s posse. Kevin was there on his own and came and sat with us. He was really quiet though and I felt really sorry for him. If it was a deliberate attempt to make me feel awful, it worked very well!

Vicky did karaoke there too which was quite funny. It’s not that she can’t sing, it was just cos I would’ve have expected her to do it.

Bye!

I tried to dump Kevin again – 1st & 2nd November 2001

Thursday 1st  Yey! It’s my birthday in 12 days’ time!! 🙂 I had a bit of a boring day really. I stayed in tonight too. Kevin said he really likes my name.

Bye!

Friday 2nd  Ben and Rick spent all day asking about Abby and when she was arriving just to wind me up and it was beginning to work too.

Abby got here at about 6pm and unloaded all her stuff onto my already messy bedroom floor. I’d arranged to meet the lads and people at the Arbar at 7:30pm so we went up there at about 8, just to make sure we wouldn’t look like complete losers!

Marc and Violet came too so we sat with them and Marc’s posse in one of the pool rooms. Abby beat Marc at pool, we drank a pint of diesel each (after adding my own Ribena), met up with Ben, Rick, Kevin and Archie, and then headed for Milton Hall. We didn’t stay there long cos it was a bit quiet but we won free shots with some scratch cards then left for Varsity.

We were all a bit pissed by then but drank loads of shots of something apple flavoured anyway. I tried to dump Kevin again by telling him I really wasn’t sure I wanted a boyfriend right now but, again, he managed to talk me round before I made it an official dumping. I tried to do it cos there were so may nice lads about (one of which Abby tried to drag into the toilets!) and I was wishing I was single so I could try and pull at least one. I’ve not really had as much chance to do it as most people my age after being stuck with Jake for so long. I reckon maybe that’s why I’m not appreciating having a boyfriend as much now. Before Jake I’d been single for ages so I was so glad to finally get a proper boyfriend.

After Varsity we all went to Warehouse. There was a group of knobhead lads in there saying they were kickboxers to me and Abby cos she mentioned it to one of them. One kneed me in the leg so they so obviously were. I very nearly lamped him but some of my mates were watching so I thought better of it.

We got the bus back after Warehouse. Violet and Marc and his posse were on the bus too. We’d lost them early and they’d managed to pick up a semi-conscious girl called Gail. She really wasn’t well! Someone on the bus threw a Chinese rib thing and it hit Abby on the head. She was far from pleased and started kicking off at the lads at the back who were laughing at her. I really thought she was going to injure someone but she just got off the bus and cried in the end.

She was okay again a few minutes later when we were walking back to my room. Instead of going to bed though, we decided to ring Kevin and go and find some derelict buildings in the woods. He brought Ben along too and wore his daft Guinness hat. We found a building so I held the torch with Abby while Ben and Kevin squeezed through a gap in the fence. Once they were through, we switched off the torch and ran. We could hear them scrambling to find the gap and they eventually did and caught up with us.

When we got back in my block, Abby, Ben and I sat on the stairs until about 5am just chatting about stuff. I really think I fancy Ben but I’m not sure why! He was telling us how he’s seeing some girl called Jodie but has just been dumped by his girlfriend after a year and a half (cos of the distance – he comes from Suffolk) so he doesn’t want a proper relationship just yet. However, Jodie does. I said I was in the same situation with Kevin and Ben advised me to dump him.

Ben told me that, during Freshers’ Week, he, Kevin and Rick were picking which girls they thought were nicest off our course. Rick said Sally but the other two said me. 🙂 Ben said it was between me and Sally but she’s just not his type.

When I finally got into my room, my head was all messed up and confused over what to do about Kevin. In the end, I dumped him via text message. I know it’s cruel but when I tried to tell him to his face, he talked me out of it. I said something along the lines of, “I know this isn’t the best way to do this but I really don’t want another relationship so soon after Jake. It’s really weird. If there’d been a few more months between you both then it’d be fine but that’s not the way it’s worked out. Sorry.”

I feel so awful now.

Bye!

Bastards, mingers or no-one at all – 31st October 2001

Wednesday 31st  I tried to dump Kevin tonight but failed. When I got back from the Arbar I mentioned to him that I wasn’t sure it was a good idea being together when we’re on the same course. I chickened out of doing it though when he started being all nice and he managed to talk me round saying how he doesn’t intend on us splitting up but if we did, he wouldn’t make it a problem. I had quite a lot to drink tonight anyway so I wasn’t exactly in the best frame of mind when it came to making decisions like that.

I think I decided to do it cos various lad stuff happened or was said and I kind of felt like I was missing chances with other people cos I’m with Kevin. If I hadn’t been going out with Jake for a year and a half before I got here then I’d probably love having a proper boyfriend but I was quite enjoying being single for a bit. The thing is though, I’m worried that if I do break up with Kevin then I won’t get another chance with a nice lad and I’ll just end up with bastards, mingers or no-one at all.

Ugh! I don’t know what to do. The other problem tonight was that while I was with Kevin, my flatmates etc. were off having fun and I felt a bit left out cos I think they’re kind of forgetting about me cos they assume I’m always out with Kevin and stuff. I’ll just have to see what happens, I suppose.

Anyway, I still had a good night. It was a Halloween thing on the Arbar so there were loads of people dressed up.

[Kevin, Lewis, Violet, Marc, Claire, someone I didn’t really know and I with one pair of horns between us as a Halloween costume.]

I had a bottle of red nail varnish in my bag so I went round attacking various lads with it. I got so many of them! A lot refused to let me paint their nails at first but I managed to persuade most of them in the end.

The lad stuff that happened/was said was as follows:

  • Archie said Kevin’s “one lucky son of a bitch” to have me.
  • Kevin said he knows!
  • Kevin said Ben and Rick were decided in Freshers’ Week which girls were nicest off our course and Ben picked me. That’s why he was asking if Abby looked like me cos he hoped she would do.
  • When I’d finished painting Gavin’s (a chef [so he says] from Boothroyd Block C) nails, I turned round and saw him pulling a sad face to his mate when I stopped talking to him and left. However that could just have been cos he was sat on his own pretty much. It looked promising though.
  • Some bloke said to put lipstick on his mate as well as nail varnish. I didn’t understand at first until he explained he meant “snog him”. I didn’t.

I bet I sound really big headed now. I’m just not used to this, that’s all. I never really got noticed before except by the odd lad who was usually a bit strange. Then when I was with Jake, everyone know so nobody tried anything. It’s weird!

Bye!

She’s “unnaturally loyal” – 30th October 2001

Tuesday 30th  I was on my way to a lecture with Archie this morning and we saw Bronwen. It got us onto the subject of her and Jake. Archie told me that she’s got a boyfriend and she’s “unnaturally loyal” to him. Like a dog perhaps. (Ok, that’s mean, I know!) He also said she’s very good looking but she’s a bit weird and simple and sticks post-its to everything possible.

Kevin really pissed me off in Maths today. I’m generally pissed off in Maths anyway cos I hate it but this time it was directed at him. He kept trying to help me cos he thought I was stuck (which I was) but instead of helping, he was making me feel completely stupid by keeping saying it was easy and stuff. Everyone around me could hear too. I just sulked a bit and went all quiet and then turned down a lift, stupidly, up to Storthes in his dad’s car. Not that I really wanted to meet his dad either though. I’m not ready for meeting parents. Mind you, I probably never will be. I hate that sort of thing.

I still can’t decide about Kevin. I just don’t know if I like him that much. He seems to like me more. He called me “gorgeous” again though. 🙂

Jake is staying in Huddersfield. He said he doesn’t want to leave cos he likes it here but I’m not sure what’s happening with his course.

I just stayed in with Kevin this evening and he informed me that Ben wants to pull my sister when she comes up this weekend. I told Kevin she was thinking about coming so he must’ve mentioned it to Ben. Ben apparently asked if she looked anything like me (as in that would be a good thing! 🙂 ) but even though Kevin said not on the photo I showed him, Ben still wants a go. Kevin said she was still quite nice. I think I’d better warn her before she arrives!

Bye!

“I”, “love” and “you” in that order – 29th October 2001

Monday 29th I found out that Archie Butterworth (a mate off my course) lives in the same flat as Bronwen today. He said that some lad’s round there all the time and described him exactly like Jake, even down to the pink shirts.

I went to the Arbar with Marc and a few of his mates this evening. Kevin was watching some Blackburn match but came over and sat with us afterwards. He seemed really moody but then maybe it was just cos he was completely sober due to a lack of money. Archie also joined us. He didn’t drink before he came to uni so he was really pissed after 4 pints which was quite funny.

Gingery Chris was setting the inside of bottles and his hand on fire which was a bit weird but pretty cool. I’ve got to try it sometime. Not setting my hand on fire though. I’ll have to get hold of a lighter first too.

Storecard came over and sat with us at one point too. He smiled at me but that was it. I saw the girl Jake snogged as well. She was dancing like a right freak in scruffy jeans and stuff on a virtually empty dancefloor. Jake wasn’t there but his fit senior resident flatmate, Rich, was. Mmm!

Jen was in the bar at the same time as us too. She’d come to visit her room here at Storthes cos she’s moving in soon. She’s in Myers Court, Flat 6. I’m quite looking forward to her coming actually cos I only really know lads off my course here and she’s a laugh. They’ve stopped running the trains from where she lives at home to Huddersfield and she heard we all liked it here so she’s decided to join us.

Kevin came back to my room for a bit but, as usual, nothing happened. He said “I love you when you’re like this” (I went all sleepy) to me which made me panic slightly. He probably didn’t think about it but the fact the sentence contained the words “I”, “love” and “you” in that order kind of scared me a bit!

Bye!