I’m an interesting and fun person – 2nd August 2000

Wednesday 2nd Jake came round to my house again today but we didn’t do much at all. We just talked, tickled each other, you know, the usual stuff.

He did tell me at one point that I’m an interesting and fun person (hmmm!) and then when he’d gone home, he backed it up with a text saying, “I’M GONNA HAVE TO GET A LIFT IN MY SISTER’S TAXI TO THE STABLES – SO I’LL BE AT YOURS FOR ABOUT 11:00 TMW! THAT’S IF YOU WANT MY COMPANY!?? TODAY WAS FUN – STILL CAN’T STOP GIGGLING/SMILING! YOU REALLY DO MAKE ME SOOO HAPPY COS YOU’RE SUCH A HAPPY/FUN PERSON TO BE WITH! LOVE YOU! : ) xxx JAKE xxx”.

It sounds like I should be on some little kids programme, like Playbus or something!




AAARRRGGGHHH!!! That’s like one of my worst nightmares! – 1st August 2000

Tuesday 1st Jake invited me round to his house today cos we decided against going to Sarah’s cos we thought it was going to rain. There was only him, his brother and the cleaner there when I arrived but we went to his room anyway. I had a good look round! He’s got shelves dedicated to certain things, for example, he’s got a shelf full of Beetle (the car that is!) stuff!


[Teenage Jake in his natural habitat circa 2000.]

We didn’t do much at all except lie about on his bed and talk and not answer the phone to Hugo Pratt (his rich mate) cos he’d (earlier on) been making dirty comments about ice cream when Jake mentioned we were eating some!

At one point, Jake and I managed to depress ourselves by bringing up the Canada subject. It couldn’t really be avoided cos he had loads of Canadian stuff in his room (including a big flag!) which kept reminding me anyway! He told me he could’ve done the ski instructor course in Scotland and that he could only do it for 7 weeks of he wanted, rather than 12, and he said I can go to the meetings with him if I want to see who he’ll be with.

I think I’m better off not going cos it’d only upset me to hear all about it and if there was some gorgeous girl there then I’d be made sooo paranoid when he goes! Still, it was nice of him to say I could go with him.

He also gave me my presents from his Europe trip. There’s a big pine cone from Barcelona, a stone from Nice I think and then loads of bus tickets and stuff from everywhere else. He also gave me the receipt from the lunch he bought in Valkenburg while he was waiting for me to arrive!

The other thing he gave me was this P&O brochure of the Aurora cruise ship (he’s on the Aurora AU011 cruise in it – lucky git!). He said it’s so I can see where he’ll be every day but it’s more like he’s rubbing it in! I don’t think he means to though!

His dad came home from work and I got invited for a meal at Rialto’s on Saturday… AAARRRGGGHHH!!! That’s like one of my worst nightmares! I hate eating in front of people and it’s not just Jake, it’s the rest of his family, plus nearly everyone I know works in Rialto’s!! I couldn’t say no though cos he said he’d like me to come. I’m gonna be wetting myself by Saturday afternoon!

About half an hour before I had to go, Jake decided to 3. Then his dad came in to offer me a lift home (he didn’t notice – I hope!) so we had to stop.

When I got in, I had a message saying, “R U WITH J” and I didn’t recognise the number so I texted Jake and he said, “IT’S NOT ONE OF MY FRIENDS! MIGHT BE HUGO USING HIS SIS/MUM’S PHONE THOUGH! I’M SOOO SORRY! THAT HAPPENS EVERY TIME AND IT’S NOT FAIR ON YOU! : ) LOVE YOU! xJx”.


When his dad walked in on us, Jake had looked really pissed off. I could tell then that it was cos he’d not done to me what I’d done to him. That made me feel guilty for making him feel guilty so I told him and he said, “WE’RE A RIGHT PAIR! ONE OF US CAN’T FEEL BAD/GUILTY WITHOUT THE OTHER ONE FEELING EVEN WORSE COS OF IT! YEAH YOU TOLD ME YOU HAD TO WASH THE CAR – I DON’T MIND HELPING (I MEAN GETTING YOU SOAKING WET)!! : ) I’D DO ANYTHING JUST TO BE WITH YOU – EVEN IF IT DOES INVOLVE SLAVE LABOUR! LOVE xJx”.

Oh, he’s so nice!


I think he was being deliberately cheesy – 30th & 31st July 2000

Sunday 30th I’ve caught up on a bit of sleep now so Jake and I went to the Trafford Centre together. Both my mum and dad (who’ve decided Jake’s got a look of Tim Henman about him!) dropped us off on the way to Grandma S’s. They couldn’t help but embarrass me by telling him things such as my not being able to sleep at a Youth Hostel in Stirling cos of a graveyard outside! I was glad to get out of the car!

We just wandered round the shops all day, stopping off in Starbucks for a drink, of course! When we were eating out McDonald’s for lunch, there were some people from Key 103 there going round with a microphone so we legged it!

I bought some nail varnish from Boots called Fallen Angel and Jake saw the name and said something like, “Cos that’s what you are, aren’t you?!” I couldn’t help but laugh but I don’t think it was a serious comment. I think he was being deliberately cheesy!

He also persuaded me to get a Miffy pencil case from Selfridges and some Milk lip balm from Boots cos he liked the taste. I got The Corrs new album which he said he wants to borrow and Moloko’s new single, Pure Pleasure Seeker, which triggered him saying if he played an instrument it’d either be the saxophone or drums.

All he got was more pairs of Tommy Hilfiger boxers, minidisc things, and the Toploader and Coldplay albums I think they were. He looked at the hideous orange Quiksilver shirt in River Island but decided against buying it. I think he would’ve done if I hadn’t have been there!

[I hate, hate, HATE this bloody Toploader song but I will suffer it being on here and stuck in my head for the next 3 weeks because feel I need to show you the sort of shite on our MiniDisc players at the time…]

After we got bored of wandering round, we went to the cinema, got 2 tubs of Phish Food ice cream and went to watch Chicken Run. It was such a good film! I expected it to be good but it was better than that! Jake enjoyed it too.

We ended up getting a taxi back to my house and Jake ended up staying until 1:00 am! We just stayed in my room playing my new CDs. He decided he liked my bed cos it’s comfy and said he didn’t want to go home and leave me. I spent quite a while tickling him and messing with his hair and then I switched my light out to show him the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling (that really was the reason!) and it ended up staying off cos he said he really liked them.

We just kissed and cuddled for a bit and then 2 and 3. He tried to undo my pants but I’m still on my period a bit so I stopped him. I told him he didn’t have time before the taxi came. I didn’t want him to leave and he didn’t want to but I think my parents would’ve been a bit shocked if he was still here in the morning!


Monday 31st I didn’t see Jake today so we planned to cycle to Sarah’s over the fields tomorrow. One message I got had a nice ending. It said, “HI! : ) YOU OK? WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? HOPE IT’S NOT RAINING TOMORROW – WE MIGHT SINK IN THE PEAT! COULDN’T SLEEP LAST NIGHT! NEED TO BE WITH YOU ALL THE TIME! LOVE xJx”.

That was just about the highlight of my day!


He has an “instant reaction” – 28th July 2000

Friday 28th This is the postcard that took ages arriving. I forgot to stick it in before. My mum said it arrived after I’d left for Valkenburg.



It was really nice waking up to Jake again this morning. We stayed in bed for ages. I just feel totally comfortable being around him now. He told me he is happy and that he loves me sooo much and couldn’t love me any more cos there’s no more love in him. That’s so sweet!

He also told me he likes me with my hair down best.

It was Freda’s party tonight. Nothing much happened for me cos I was with Jake all night but Sarah had a mad, passionate session with Adam Reynolds, a total creep who is also known as Furry Adam cos of his minging facial hair! I shoved him into the kitchen door and a wall cos he kept feeling my arse.

Jake did nothing but wasn’t very pleased with Furry Adam who kept saying he just wanted to be friends with me and who I kept telling to fuck off!

Jake brought his tent so we slept in one sleeping bag in there. It was very squashed but very warm and cosy! Every so often Jake kept snoring so he must have fallen asleep. We had no room in the sleeping bag to do much else, although he had an unsuccessful go at undoing my skirt!


[I can’t believe I didn’t write down the fact I dropped that entire bottle of Archers (that I’d only just purchased from the cash and carry in Calais) moments after this photo was taken. It was devastating enough to remember 18 years later!]

I did manage to tickle him though and found a bit on his stomach that he reckons is like a G-spot cos he has an “instant reaction”. I’m not entirely sure what reaction that is though!


[I found a couple more photos from the party. As well as failing to mention that I dropped the bottle of Archers, I also failed to mention that fancy dress was optional.]


[Sarah chasing Reverend Gethin through Freda’s village.]


[Karen looking after Gethin whilst Sarah went for a wee.]

Jake is such a bad loser! – 27th July 2000

Thursday 27th Gethin, Lizzie, Floyd, Karen Brent, Jake and I all wet round to stop over at Cat’s tonight. There was a really bad (and loud!) thunderstorm so we all stayed in and played Monopoly. Jake is such a bad loser! I got Park Lane and he had a right fit! Same when Floyd got the stations!

I was really tired a bit later on and seemed to have a blocked up nose. Jake kept asking me if I was okay and if I was ill but I didn’t want him thinking I was again so I ended up snapping at him. We both sulked for a bit then I apologised and he told me that it’s just cos he cares that he kept asking and we made up.

We shared the spare bed and we didn’t get much sleep. He kept kissing me and 3 happened. Really tired now! So…


Dressed as robbers with bras on their heads! – 25th July 2000

Tuesday 25th P. [Period.]

Before we set off for the swimming place called Mosaqua at Gulpen, some girl from another school had asked Gethin if Jake and I are going out. He asked how she’d guessed and she told him that it was cos he hadn’t reacted to anyone other than me!

I didn’t go swimming so I just sat by the café at the side of the pool with Jake and the others who weren’t swimming.

We had our last concert in Aachen in Germany today. It was pointless cos we had an audience of about 3 people cos it was rainy, one being this little old woman who was jigging about in her seat and making us all smile!


[Bet I was miming.]


Jake and I went to the Queen Vic for a while and then I went with him to his hotel so he could get his bags to dump at ours ready for the coach in the morning. We just sat in my room for a while and decided it’d been a really good few days cos we’d seen so much of each other and that we didn’t want to go home. He said he thinks we should just run away together!


[Jake helping us to pack.]

Later, we were joined by Gethin. He was pissed and said something about Jake being able to sleep in his room if he wanted (but we’d already decided he could sleep in my bed then it’s not such a rush in the morning) and Gethin was being a bit perverted so Jake told him that he wanted straight sex not gay sex! Well, he didn’t get either but I was glad to hear that!

Some of the girls whose last trip it is with the band, Rina H and Greta Allen, came into our room before, very pissed and dressed as robbers with bras on their heads! Strange!


I heard sniffling noises coming from Jake – 24th July 2000

Monday 24th We spent all day at De Efteling theme park which was a bit of a strange place really. We did 2 concerts there. I got totally soaked on one of the water rides so I was cold all day!


This evening, Jake and I decided to go to the Queen Vic with everyone else before we got accused of being antisocial or something! Mrs P mentioned Canada to Jake and it depressed me so I went all quiet. He noticed and thought I was sulking and said he’d get upset. We talked about it for a bit and how bad it’s gonna be, and a few minutes after we’d stopped, I heard sniffling noises coming from Jake and he had his head down and I noticed tears rolling down his nose.

I asked if he wanted to leave and he nodded so we walked down the street for a bit and hugged for a while. I apologised for upsetting him and gave him a ‘Smile’ tissue like this one →


which did make him smile and then hug me and then cry again! Only this time he said it was cos he’s so happy! He kept stressing the fact that he never cries so I was flattered in a way that he didn’t mind showing his emotions in front of me like that. We decided it was cos he’s tired.

I felt so guilty but he said it wasn’t my fault, he just can’t bear the thought of going away again. He said that’s how he was feeling on that night he tried to ring me really late when he was travelling.

We walked back to the hotel and went in my room again. We sat in the window for a while before moving to my bed and then 3 happened (again). We just lay on my bed and cuddled for ages after that until Maeve came in the room.

We moved and went and sat on the steps together. He told me that he loves me and that I’m beautiful (hah!) and that he loves my nose and smile and everything else about me and that he can’t believe this is all happening. He also kept telling me that he’s really happy 🙂 So am I! I really do love him!