Mum let me drive the car round Asda car park – 7th February 2001

Wednesday 7th
8 weeks + 1 days to go!

It turns out that we were probably along the right lines about why Declan dumped Lizzie. Apparently, Robbie told Freda then Freda told Karen who told me that Declan wants to be single for the ski trip so he can take advantage of Kim while she’s drunk!

That’s so unfair on Lizzie! She must have liked him cos she did actually get upset yesterday afternoon and that’s not at all like her.

I spoke to Jake at about 7pm tonight. He said he’d tried to ring earlier but it was engaged cos my mum was using the phone. He didn’t go snowboarding today 🙂 because the people who were meant to be teaching it couldn’t be arsed! He promises me he won’t do it again cos boards are too expensive to hire.

Mum let me drive the car round Asda car park tonight cos I didn’t go kickboxing cos my legs are still tingling a bit when I walk and stuff. It was really good! Mum said I did really well cos I didn’t stall it or anything until I’d stopped to get out so Mum could take us home.

I want a car now!


Today’s emails →

07-02-01 Jake email07-02-01 Tess email


We all think that’s bollocks – 6th February 2001

Tuesday 6th
8 weeks + 2 days to go!

I did get an email back off Jake! 🙂 I was relieved I’d got one because I’m still bothered about the snowboarding thing! All morning I felt like I was about to cry any second! I was okay later on though!

Declan’s dumped Lizzie! We all thought it’d be the other way around! He’s not given her a proper reason for it. All he said was that it wasn’t the right time or something. We all think that’s bollocks and that lesbian Kim’s got something to do with it cos he used to fancy her and probably still does, even though she had a girlfriend not that long ago.

Jake phoned me at about 6:15pm today. I was expecting him to ring at about 7:30 like he said he would so it was a nice surprise. It turned out he was having a day off cos it’s apparently -40oC and he’s got a cold and is aching all over so I got to have a nice long conversation with him!

He said he only did one hour of snowboarding and he’s doing another hour tomorrow and then that’s it. He told me he might not do Level 2 of this course cos it costs more money and he doesn’t think he’s good enough so he says he’s probably going to do some avalanche course, a first aid course and then shadow some instructors for the last 6 weeks.

He told me that he’s put some of the photos of me in a picture frame that’s above his bed and that quite a few people have seen them. I don’t want anyone to see them cos they’re horrible photos! He won’t take them down though cos he said he likes being able to see me in the morning and stuff. He also told me that I’m pretty which is why he first started liking me before he knew me! Hah!

He kept telling me that he loves me 🙂 and that he really misses me too. Good!


Today’s emails →

06-02-01 Jake email06-02-01 Tess email

He’s bloody well learning to snowboard – 5th February 2001

Monday 5th
8 weeks + 3 days to go!

I managed to avoid Robbie today. I did see him but didn’t look him in the eye cos I have no idea how annoyed he is with me.

After college, Jake’s dad turned up at our house. He just dropped off a book for me about Barcelona but he stayed for a drink with Mum, Dad and me in the kitchen, talking about his trip to Peru and stuff. I didn’t know he was going to call round. Maybe he feels guilty and is trying to make up for it or something!

Jake phoned at about 7:40pm. I thought he’d been shadowing an instructor all morning but it turns out he’d been snowboarding instead. He said the people who could snowboard had to teach the people who couldn’t, including him. I am extremely pissed off cos that’s dashed all my hopes of being able to ski OR snowboard with him now he can do both. It’s just not fair!

He promised me he wouldn’t do any boarding so we could both learn together because neither of us could do it. It’s just ruined it now. I love skiing and unless I want to be completely shown up by him then I can’t do that with him (and I can’t afford to go on my own and have no friends who can do it) and now he’s bloody well learning to snowboard too so he’s gonna have a head start in that too.

In fact, his exact words in an email I got on Fri 26th Jan were: “We’ll both learn to snowboard together!!! 😦 I’m not touching a board while I’m here cos the chance of killing myself increases by about 3 times!!!” I’m just so disappointed cos I really did want to do that, especially with him.

Sarah and I (plus a few others) were thinking of going and having boarding lessons at Sheffield and I didn’t tell Jake cos I thought he might get lessons himself to catch up with me. If I go now then he’s going to think I’m just doing it to copy him! 😦 I suppose I should still do it but I liked the thought of being able to do something cool that he couldn’t. Now I can’t.

I’ve been considering sending a 2nd mail to him tonight telling him all this and asking him why he hung up so quickly tonight on the phone without saying he loves me or anything but I don’t know if I should cos last time I told him how I was feeling, he got all funny with me. I think I’ll just leave it and hope he phones tomorrow night then I can tell him then instead.


P.S. I just mailed Jake again! I tried to be nice! Hotmail seemed to be playing up a bit so I hope he can read them and send one back alright! 😦

Today’s emails →

05-02-01 Jake email05-02-01 Tess email 105-02-01 Tess email 2

I’m probably never going to want to go to his house again – 3rd February 2001

Saturday 3rd
8 weeks + 5 days to go!

Normally the weekend days go pretty slowly but today’s gone quite fast for a change. I was in town with my mum for a while though, taking stuff to the charity shop and getting holiday brochures for Barcelona. I only managed to get one with it in it though but there’s quite a big section. Ooh, I’m getting excited already!

I’ve remembered some more stuff about last night. Robbie started asking me where I was going to go to uni and I said I wasn’t sure cos I didn’t know why he was asking. Then he told me he thinks I should go to Huddersfield with Jake! That was quite nice to hear actually. Also, he said that the letter he’d read from Jake to me was really quite sweet but then I found out that other people like Declan and Rory have heard about it. I don’t like the thought of Robbie telling all his mates about it all! 😦

I was on the phone to Jake for quite a while tonight, talking about what his brother had said to me about his dad. I was even more bothered about it after I’d spoken to him cos he pointed out a few things. He said that if it’s true then I’m probably never going to want to go to his house again, just in case his dad’s there and that it could be awkward if we’re together for a good while longer. He’s right!

Jake also said that he’d hate it if my parents didn’t like him and that he wouldn’t be as bothered if we weren’t in a serious relationship but we are so it’d be better if his dad liked me. We still can’t think what I’ve done to make him dislike me though. 😦

Jake said he’s going to be really annoyed if what we’ve been told his dad said is true cos there’s no proper reason for it as far as we know. If it’s to do with the fact that Jake’s not at home as much as he used to be because of me then he’s going to be even more annoyed cos he found out from his brother that when his dad went to Milan the other week, it wasn’t a business trip like Jake thought, he apparently went with some woman headteacher.

He said he was going to ring his dad after he’d spoken to me so now I’ve got to wait until I get an email tomorrow to find out if I really am not liked!


Today’s emails →

03-02-01 Jake email03-02-01 Tess email

He ended up totally bladdered – 2nd February 2001

Friday 2nd
8 weeks + 6 days to go!

Nothing much happened in college today except for Rory and Gethin competing for attention! They’re so alike and it’s so annoying! One of Rory’s little attention stunts was giving everyone stickers. Other people joined in then and I got given this one by Robbie Taylor! →

I want you! Now!

I don’t think anything was meant by it cos he’d done lots beforehand and I just happened to get that one!

Tonight got a bit interesting actually. I think I’ve said what happened pretty much in my mail to Jake [see below today’s “Bye!”] so I can’t be bothered writing it all out now!

I was getting on with Robbie T quite well and he said he’s going to speak to me more often in college. He ended up totally bladdered by the time we got back to Declan’s house and that’s when he started confessing stuff, like the fact he read the long letter Jake gave me before he went.

At the time, I wasn’t that bothered that he’d read it cos I was a bit on the drunk side of things myself but, now I think about it, there’s no way he should’ve read it. It was completely private and there’s no excuse for reading it at all. Fair enough if it hadn’t been obvious who it was to then he could’ve read it to find out but that wasn’t the case.

It also upset me a bit when Robbie told me his dad doesn’t like me. I mean, I didn’t burst into tears over it but it’s hurt my feelings a bit to hear that cos I don’t know what I’ve done. Robbie said it’s cos I never say hi or anything to his dad but that’s bollocks cos I do! He was really pissed when he told me this and wasn’t making much sense but surely he wouldn’t have said it without a reason. Something must have been said to trigger it.

Ooh, I forgot, Jake phoned at about 4:45pm today and just told me about a few more injuries that have occurred and talked about going on holiday again.

I’ve just remembered something else Robbie said. When we were in The Crow pub (before he got leathered!), out of the blue he turned to me and said, “Oh, Tessa. My dad said he sends his regards and says that Jake got done for speeding.” I don’t understand why he’d have said that to me! To be honest, at the time I thought it sounded like a sarcastic comment so maybe he doesn’t like me cos he thinks somehow I’m the cause of Jake getting caught by speed cameras. Maybe it’s cos he always gets really high phone bills for his mobile too because he’s always texting me but then Jake always reassures me that his dad doesn’t mind.

I just don’t get why he doesn’t like me! 😦


Today’s emails →

02-02-01 Jake email02-02-01 Tess email 102-02-01 Tess email 2

Halfway up the hill – 1st February 2001

Thursday 1st
9 weeks to go!

It was boring at college again today and then I had to walk home and it was absolutely freezing!

It’s a good job I set off walking cos I might have missed Jake’s phone call if I’d waited for a lift from Mum. He explained to me about the conversation he’d mentioned in his email about relationships. He said they just asked him how long we’d been going out and then this guy said he’s been separated from a long term girlfriend when he went to uni so they only got to see each other at the weekends. Apparently they didn’t split up because of it.

I then suggested that I went somewhere other than Huddersfield Uni but Jake said he wouldn’t want that. 🙂 Good! Neither would I!

Then we got talking about Barcelona. I haven’t got round to looking for accommodation yet and Jake said he’s not got much time to do it. So, because I was a bit pissed off I suggested we just don’t bother going. He didn’t like the idea and started saying he’ll find the time to sort it out. We both really want to go so we finally agreed that if one of us finds somewhere we’ll let the other one know about it so we can check it out and decide either yes/no/maybe!

I do wish he was here because half the fun of a holiday is planning it so you can look forward to it but I want us to be able to do that together. I really hate him not being here. I love him too much for this!

Sarah pointed out a good way of thinking about how long Jake’s gone for. I told her that he’s been gone 3 weeks now and that’s quarter of the time he’ll be gone altogether. A quarter didn’t really sound much to me but Sarah said to think of it as being halfway up the hill!


It sounds (and looks) better, doesn’t it?!


Today’s emails →

01-02-01 Jake email01-02-01 Tess email

It’s probably going to cost me a bomb to send! – 31st January 2001

Wednesday 31st
9 weeks + 1 days to go!

I went into Warrington with Sarah, Lizzie and Cat after college today cos I needed to find something for Jake for Valentine’s Day.

On the bus on the way there, I had the feeling that I probably wouldn’t be able to find anything but I did. For Valentine’s Day, I got him a Purple Ronnie card, an ‘I need a hug’ bear with a blue nose and a chocolate Bang On The Door lolly saying ‘Kiss’ on it.

Then I saw a couple of other things which I’m going to send too cos we’ve been going out a year. I bought him a Boots milk lip balm cos he like mine and a Jessie the Cowgirl doll (out of Toy Story 2) cos I know he likes cowgirls!

I was just beginning to think he wasn’t going to phone when he did at about 7:35pm. He told me he’d had to ski to warm up first which is why he didn’t phone at 7pm like he said he would. He didn’t really have much to say so we just gave each other clues about what we’d bought for one another!

He said he hoped I hadn’t bought him a really big teddy or anything and that worried me a bit cos I have bought him a little one plus a doll! Oh well, he’ll have to make do! He’d better appreciate it cos it’s probably going to cost me a bomb to send!


Today’s emails →

31-01-01 Jake email31-01-01 Tess email