I left Jake watching TV to go and make some fake cum – 10th June 2001

Sunday 10th Hmm. Last night was quite a varied night in the end with some good bits and some not so good bits.

Jake, Michael, Sarah, Karen, Cat, Gethin and I all went round to Lizzie’s house because her parents went away to Cyprus for 2 weeks yesterday. We all brought alcohol supplies and just settled down in the living room to watch TV/listen to music/talk.

Gethin was being all lively and was poncing about in the middle of the room, dancing and cracking crap jokes in order to be the centre of attention but as soon as everyone lost interest he went and sulked and had heart-to-heart talks with people and cried cos he’s gay. I didn’t fall for it. It was all for attention purposes and really got on my nerves.

My theory is that it was mostly for the benefit of Sarah but she’s so soft she gave him loads of sympathy. You see, I reckon Gethin’s jealous deep down of Michael because now he’s come along, Sarah’s no longer following Gethin round like a little sheep in hope she’ll get a snog out of him. He didn’t want to know at the time but now it’s the whole situation of wanting what he can’t have. I may be wrong but it’d be a very Gethin-like thing to do.

He did ask me if he could talk to me at one point but I refused to go out of the room with him cos I had a feeling that if he was going to go all serious. I’d either get annoyed or laugh and I didn’t really want to fall out with him.

I had a minor jokey disagreement with Jake while he was watching the Formula 1 on TV. I asked why he found it so interesting and he eventually came out with a comment that girls only like football for the perve factor. That pissed me off so much so I put up and argument. He did admit in the end that he knows that’s not why I watch it. Why can’t I just like the game? Grrr.

I left Jake watching TV to go and make some fake cum at one point. Cat found a recipe a while ago on the internet and was going to spread it round Mr L’s room (ha ha ha!!!) so we thought we’d test it out. It didn’t work. We ended up with a runny yellow concoction consisting of egg white, sugar, mayonnaise, flour, evaporated milk, arrowroot, salad cream and lots more. It was pretty mingin’! (We didn’t actually follow a recipe, we guessed!)

A few of us had a go at my drinking games. We played Fuzzy Duck, Bunnies, something with matches and something where you had to pick a bottle up with your mouth while standing on one leg. We got bored pretty quickly though cos none of us were that pissed.

Sarah, Michael, Jake and I all went in Sarah’s car to get Chinese takeaway and stopped to pick Floyd up from The Green Dragon on the way back. He was still working so I used my superb waitressing skills and help him tidy up faster so he could finish his shift. It’s scary how it all came back to me!

When we got back, we ate too much food and all nearly exploded but it’s too nice to leave leftovers! Sarah and Michael then had to go out again to take Cat home cos she had to teach Sunday school this morning.

Cat got upset at one point too, all because of fucking Mr L. She checked his email and discovered a letter which someone had written for him to print off and put with his application forms for new jobs. It was all about why he’d resigned (cos of the allegations made against him) and went cringingly onto say how he loves his job and how he’ll work extra hard to prove himself etc. Tosser!

The part that really got to Cat though was a bit saying that the head of our school would back him up about what an “asset” he was. It sounds like Mr C didn’t believe what Cat was saying. Mr bloody L is going to be allowed to teach again and it’ll happen all over again with more pupils. With any luck though, nobody will want to risk taking him on.

Even though we were all full from Chinese, we kept finding chocolates and sweets all over the house and therefore we all felt even more sick!

It really is a mess in Lizzie’s house. You can hardly move for rubbish and there’s about 4 inches of dust on the vacuum cleaner! Luckily Lizzie said Jake and I could share her sister’s bed so we didn’t have to sleep in amongst the mess. Mind you, it took us a while to clear the crap off her sister’s bed too!

We went to bed pretty early actually. Sarah and Michael shared another bedroom and the others slept on the living room floor.

I left Jake on the bed to go in the bathroom and came back to find him in the bed with no clothes on at all! We just kissed and cuddled for a bit then…

[CENSORED! I can’t include what I wrote because I covered all the gory details at some point with a thick black pen, probably before I went to uni when I feared Mum or Abby would find my diaries. I’m not going to pretend I’m not relieved I don’t have to cringe my way through sharing that sort of stuff.]

We got some sleep after that and it was really nice being able to snuggle up together. It was really nice waking up with him there this morning too. We cuddled for ages before Sarah knocked on the door to say she was leaving soon if we wanted a lift. We all ended up going to McDonald’s for breakfast (mmm, bacon roll!) and Rory was working. The McDonald’s uniform actually makes him look vaguely straight!

Jake got a lift back with Karen cos she was dropping Lizzie off and he lives in the next close to Lizzie. I don’t like leaving him, especially when Karen’s there. I’m going to sound really paranoid now but she keeps flirting with him, I’m sure! He was complaining this morning about his hair being a mess and she started stroking his head saying, “Ahh!”. She laughs at him all the time and kept saying he was sweet last night.

Hugo kept ringing him too and Karen made sure she answered it and said, “Hi! This is Big ‘n’ Bouncy Escorts. How may I help you?” Actually, that was quite funny though. I probably wouldn’t notice as much if I didn’t know that she used to fancy him. Ugh, I don’t know! I don’t think she’s really a threat though!

When I got home this morning, Jake sent me a message saying he’s sorry if he hurt me (pain-wise) last night and not to feel guilty about it. Ooh, I love him sooo much! 🙂

Sarah told me in the car on the way home that she thinks Michael was expecting to go all the way last night but he said he respected her for not wanting to rush it. Aww, sweet! She said she did 2 to him and he did 3 to her on our ranking system.

Just to explain, my mates and I have come up with numbers to represent what stage was reached with lads, just in case we don’t want to say properly what we did if other people are there. It goes:

1 = Snog
2 = Grope
3 = Hands
4 = Mouths
5 = Sex

So, if I ever use those numbers in here, that’s the explanation for it.

I’ve spoken to Jake a couple of times today on the phone cos he decided not to come here cos he’s really tired and doesn’t feel like getting the buses and taxis. (His brother’s getting that Punto but Jake won’t be insured on it.)

I’ve just been texting Jake now and I apologised again for last night. He said it doesn’t matter and that it didn’t last very long the first time so that’s the longest it’s lasted yet!

Oh no, I’ve got a driving lesson tomorrow. I’ve forgotten what to do!

Bye!

I shouldn’t have mentioned Canada – 9th June 2001

Saturday 9th Well, Jake certainly made sure I felt guilty about everything I said about Suzanna/Canada. I phoned him and apologised again but we got into a bit of an argument because he said I always make him feel as if things out of his control are his fault. So, obviously I defended myself and basically said I didn’t.

We ended up talking on MSN messenger on the internet and got onto the subject of his mum. He said I shouldn’t have mentioned Canada yesterday (I know!) and started saying how he didn’t tell me why he was so upset at the time cos he doesn’t feel like he can talk to me about it because I never ask him about it.

Well, that really insulted me and I made sure I pointed out the fact that he said last year (and so did Hugo) that he didn’t like talking about it. I was hardly going to bring it up and risk saying the wrong thing and upsetting him, especially if he didn’t like speaking about it.

I got cut off MSN mid-argument so I ended up phoning him again. He was crying and so was I and after hanging up on me once, I rang again and we sorted it out. He apologised for not telling me stuff and I apologised for what I said last night. We’re friends again now which is a good thing cos we’re both staying at Lizzie’s house tonight. I’ll report back on that tomorrow though.

Bye!

I don’t want him to run off with someone who has got legs! – 8th June 2001

Friday 8th Jake phoned me this afternoon to tell me that he, his brother and his dad had been looking for cars this morning. They’ve found a sort of metallic yellow (yuck!) Fiat Punto at some place in Warrington and his brother was going back to test drive it at some point today. Jake says it’s a really nice one so hopefully they’ll get it.

However, when he got to my house later on, Jake was less pleased cos it’ll be really expensive to insure him and his bro on it so he might not be allowed to drive it because he’s going to be at uni in a few months’ time. He’s just going to have to wait and see. He wants his Beetle back most though. That’d be cool!

A few of us including Michael Amhurst did The Run pub crawl tonight. Cat told me something in The Woodman which I’d probably have been better off not hearing. Someone’s dog was sniffing round Jake when he was at the bar and Cat said, “He seems to attract dogs, doesn’t he?!” She meant that literally cos her dog also took quite a fancy to him but she realised it could’ve sounded a bit insulting towards me. I laughed and said, “Well, he did attract Zoe!” I named a few others that liked him as well and then Cat said, “Ooh and Suzanna” when I’d finished the list.

Suzanna is a friend of Emma’s and she’s well known for her slapperish tendencies but many lads so seem to think she’s nice looking. Cat obviously assumed I knew about the Suzanna thing but I didn’t so she told me.

Apparently when Suzanna came on The Run with us a while ago she wasn’t with her boyfriend and she started saying to Emma how nice she thought Jake was. Emma told her that she’d better not dare flirt with him cos she was obviously intending to. What really pisses me off is that I was sat next to him and it’s obvious we’re a couple. Who knows what she’d have tried if Emma and I hadn’t been there. Bitch!

I trust Jake not to do anything but I still don’t like the fact that everyone seems to fancy him. It never happens the other way round. Cat and Sarah said I should be flattered that so many people fancy him but it just worries me. I’m so scared that one day someone will like him and will eventually get him to like her back and he’ll gradually go off me and I’ll lose him.

The thing is that (even if he won’t admit it) he could have pretty much anyone and that makes me feel really insecure cos there’s probably so many people better than me.

He also said (when I asked him!) that if my legs fell off or something he wouldn’t like me quite as much. What if that happens now?! I don’t want him to run off with someone who has got legs!

Anyway, when I got back to mine with Jake he realised I was being quiet and I eventually told him about Suzanna. He couldn’t stop smiling. It’s probably just cos he’s flattered like anyone would be but I didn’t like it. I told him my worry that he might find someone he likes more than me and he said that I don’t have to worry because he loves me and doesn’t ever want anyone else. Good! 🙂

I still wasn’t feeling particularly happy though because I don’t like loads of people fancying him and no-one even looking twice at me. I mean, I don’t want him to look any different cos he’s really nice but people still obviously want to go for him even though they know he’s got a girlfriend. Grrr!! I don’t like the thought of people thinking about him like that cos he’s MINE!!

So, I told him some stuff like that to try and explain what was up with me and I could just see his head expanding. He didn’t mean it though and did seem to understand but I suppose he can’t help it.

I can just imagine people seeing us and thinking, “Urgh! How did dhe get him?!” I think that about people (mean, I know!) so I’m sure others think it too. Maybe they don’t, I don’t know. I’m probably just putting myself down too much but it doesn’t half lower my self-esteem hearing loads of people fancy him and he can’t say, “Well, such and such likes you so you can’t complain!” or anything. Oh well.

The subject of skiing got mentioned too and I commented how I could never afford to do anything like that. He was already pissed off about the Suzanna thing cos he said it upsets him to see me upset and then he just burst into tears. I didn’t mean to upset him but some really evil streak in me was quite pleased because I wasn’t particularly upset and he was and I thought I must have bothered him so he must care.

Then I realised why he was probably sooo upset. It’s a year ago today when his mum died. I did know because it’s hardly the sort of thing to forget cos it was awful at the time but I really should’ve watched what I said, especially about skiing because she wanted him to go. I feel so guilty now. He did calm down after a hug but I felt so bad.

He didn’t actually say that’s what was wrong until he got home and sent me a text message explaining that’s why he got so upset but said I shouldn’t feel bad about it. But I do.

Bye!

We had a brief kickboxing-style fight – 27th May 2001

Sunday 27th Jake left quite early this morning but he said even though it scared him a bit when he woke up and I was there, it was a nice sort of scared!

Grandma S and Auntie G came round here today for a joint birthday meal between my mum (50 on 21st May), my Grandma (80 on 24th May) and my sister (17 on 28th May).

Abby and I fell out afterwards cos she found out Dad gave me £20 for a taxi back last night. I genuinely forgot about it so it was too late once Abby and Connor had gone when I paid our taxi driver with it. She was yelling at me, saying I was lying that I’d forgotten and should’ve told her, blah blah blah… so I shoved her out of my room. We had a brief kickboxing-style fight which I was quite proud of myself for cos it seemed automatic! Abby ended up getting yelled at by Mum and Dad cos the agreement was meant to be that we all got in a taxi together and they didn’t.

Jake came round after tea so we could go to Freda’s house together when Sarah picked us up. He gave me a little bag, necklace and a belt thing that his dad brought back from Peru. I didn’t realise they were for me at first, I thought he might have just been showing me them cos he muttered something but I couldn’t tell what. He’s left them here though so I think they must be for me. I’ve left them out, not put them away, just in case I’m wrong. It’s just I never see his dad and I thought he didn’t like me so I’m a bit confused. I kind of feel guilty though cos I didn’t tell Jake to say thank you cos I didn’t know they were a present. I didn’t want to ask Jake either cos I’d have felt stupid if they weren’t! Maybe I’ll try and confirm it when he’s drunk or something.

Michael Amhurst came to Freda’s house too because he’s staying at his sister’s near here (instead of at home near Kendal) cos he’s coming to Ainsdale beach with us tomorrow. I left him and Sarah alone in the living room and me and a few others went round the side of the house and saw through the window that they were snogging! About time too!!! 🙂

Bye!

Freda's gathering

[Isaac, Jake, me, Sarah, Michael, Cat & Gethin at Freda’s house.]

Stripping off and prancing round – 26th May 2001

Saturday 26th Jake and I went to Ronan Keating’s concert at the MEN Arena in Manchester tonight. It was really, really good! Jake was definitely in the minority as most people there were female and the few blokes there were either gay or looked like they’d been dragged there by their girlfriends. It was the other way round with us though cos he was the one who suggested it first. I did want to go though.

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There was some boyband on called Fixate first who were okay but obviously miming and just like every other boyband under the sun!

Ronan was REALLY good though! He can actually sing really well live and he added some Boyzone songs and one by Blur at the end. When Rollercoaster was sung [I regret including the video as I don’t like the song and it’s now well and truly stuck in my head], he flew (on ropes of course!) over to a little stage in the middle. He kept doing little jigs and stuff. So cute! I’m glad Jake likes him! 🙂 That’s sweet cos most lads wouldn’t admit it!

After the concert, Jake and I met up with Connor and Abby cos they wanted us to show them round Manchester at night. We went in a few places but stayed mainly in Bar 38 cos we could sit outside. There were loads of people that kept stripping off and prancing round on the grassy bit which was quite amusing too!

Connor and Abby wanted to go into Infinity but Jake and I were pretty knackered so we went to get a taxi home. We wanted a black cab cos most others looked really dodgy but we eventually got bored of waiting and so just got in the next one that came along. The driver was really funny (he didn’t mean to be!) and started going on about how he’d had 15 points on his licence and stuff! He did stop though when Jake was about to wet himself! It only cost us £20 as well. It cost the other two £29 in a black cab.

Jake ended up staying in our spare room cos he had no more money to get home. I couldn’t sleep so I sneaked into the spare room. He woke up and said I could get in with him but must have gone straight back to sleep again cos he woke up again about 5 mins later and asked how long I’d been there! He was quite pleased to see me. 🙂 We just snuggled up all night and eventually started kissing and stuff.

Bye!

She’s held a grudge against us ever since – 19th & 20th May 2001

Friday 19th It’s my mum’s 50th birthday on Monday so our family plus Jake and Connor all went to the Yang Sing Chinese restaurant in Manchester this evening.

Before we went, I got upset because I’d just found out Abby and Connor went to a kickboxing weapon training thing today but they hadn’t told me about it. Even if I hadn’t have gone, it would’ve been nice if they’d checked. Then Mum started mithering me to take Mollie for a walk while I was trying to wrap her presents. I just got pissed off and ended up crying all over Jake.

The meal this evening was really nice though. They made up a banquet for us when we got there and we had all sorts of food. We had the usual ribs and rice and stuff but then there were other things like mussels, squid, scallops and ostrich. They ostrich meat was sooo nice! I’ve never tried some of those things before and I was a bit wary at first but then pleasantly surprised when I tried them.

Bye!

Saturday 20th I went to Manchester with Jake today in search of a dress for my college leaving do in June. I didn’t end up getting one though. I really can’t shop properly with him cos I’m aware of him getting bored and then it rubs off on me! All I got was 2 bottles of nail varnish and an O’Neill purse to replace my other one that’s bursting a bit.

On the train, Jake told me that Matt Carrera and Samantha Breck (his mates) want him to go and stay with them at Huddersfield Uni sometime soon. I really don’t want him to go. Initially, I was worried that Samantha will have loads of girly mates and they’ll fancy him cos he’d be someone new to them and good looking.

Then I realised that if he goes now then he’ll know his way round by the time we both go in September. That wouldn’t be much fun with him telling me everything cos he always seems to do stuff first (e.g. snowboarding) that he says we’ll do together. I’d rather discover it all WITH him and don’t want him to spoil that too.

Then there’s the fact that Samantha has a definite bitchy streak and has showed it to me many times and I don’t want her poisoning him against me. She tried to put me off going out with him in the first place, even though she’s his “best friend”. I found out tonight that she even told my sister that it might not be a good idea for him to get into a relationship with me. Grrr!! I didn’t listen to her, obviously!

The reason she doesn’t like me is pathetic anyway. About 4 years ago, on the way back from the Austria ski trip, my best mate at the time (Emma T) ripped Samantha’s magazine accidentally and she’s held a grudge against us ever since. Sad!

Anyway, I understand that he wants to see his friends and stuff, and it’d be really selfish of me to stop him going but I still don’t like the idea.

Bye!

It’s about time someone lamped her one – 18th May 2001

Thursday 18th

I’VE OFFICIALLY LEFT COLLEGE!!!

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Well, for study leave anyway but it means no more lessons! Unfortunately, however, exams take over from next Wednesday onwards. Oh joy.

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Our head of college, Mr H, is also leaving that post and is just going to teach instead so before he arrive this morning, we filled his office with balloons, tied his car up with string and stuck posters of him up round college which Gethin had made by adapting a photo of him on the computer by, for example, giving him hair!

Mr H

We had one last assembly by which time many people were pretty pissed, before all leaving and going to The Coach & Horses.

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[Being pissed in assembly possibly had something to do with the bottle of absinthe we’d got hold of.]

We didn’t stay there long though cos Rob S said he would “do” Sarah if she was up for it and she got scared (I don’t blame her!) so we went to The Beech Tree instead.

I found out from Rachael Hollins today some news which I was quite pleased to hear. Recently, Hayley Pearson’s been being a complete bitch towards her for no particular reason (she’s just like that) and last night Rach was at McDonald’s while Hayley was there. Hayley started yelling at Rach, saying she had no right to be there and stuff cos they’ve got this ‘Medway Crew’ thing (a group of them sit on Medway Road where Carly Jennings lives who Freda fancies – SAD!!) which Rach isn’t involved with.

Rach was taking it from Hayley but Georgia Dean was telling Hayley to shut up. Hayley didn’t so Georgia turned round and punched her!! Nice one! Apparently Hayley unsuccessfully tried to hit her back but ended up running and hiding in the car instead!

Rach, Georgia and Georgia’s dad then went round to Hayley’s to apologise but her mum wouldn’t let Rach in for some reason so who knows what lies Hayley told her parents about what happened cos Rach didn’t do anything. I feel really sorry for Rach actually cos she was making an effort to speak to Hayley today but Hayley shoved her out of the way.I mean, there might well be another side to it all that I haven’t heard but if Hayley’s involved, I very much doubt it. I know exactly how pathetic she can be which is why I am no longer friends with her. It’s about time someone lamped her one actually! Well done, Georgia!! 🙂 Most people from college ended up in The Beech and Jake came to join us too eventually.

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This evening we went into Warrington to continue our celebrations! We started off in Edison’s then moved to Churchill’s and then Tiger Too before ending up in Mr Smith’s.I painted Denny’s face and when I got my mirror out to show him, I noticed it was broken. Oh no! I don’t want any bad luck! Jake didn’t exactly make me feel better by telling me his mum broke a big mirror in France and then each year someone in the family died and then on the 7th year she did.

That’s awful but surely it would’ve happened anyway? I suppose people never know. If a bad thing happens after you break a mirror/walk under a ladder etc., anything bad that happens you relate back to that but if it happened anyway, you wouldn’t think anything about why it happened, I suppose. Well, not as much anyway.

During the time we were in Smith’s I spent more of it sat on the chairs with everyone’s bags and Jake because he won’t even dance. At one point, this girl with longish red hair scraped back into a ponytail with huge loop earrings came and sat down by us. Her mate was dancing next to her.

I thought it was a bit off so I took in what she looked like. She put her drink on the table and started fiddling about with her hands behind her back. I thought she must just have been trying to sort her knickers out by when she stood up, I noticed a rectangular lump on her side.When I looked back at the seat, Emma Thornley’s bag was where the girl had been sat. I checked it and, as suspected, it was open. All that was in it was her phone and camera. I went to get Emma from the dancefloor, just to check if she had her purse with her. She didn’t and came and checked her bag. There was nothing else gone.

Emma wandered off and dragged me with her. She told me to point out the girl and I spotted her at the bar. Emma stupidly (but also drunkenly!) went up to her and actually asked if she’d nicked her purse! However, her mate got all threatening so we both legged it to one of the bouncers.

We told him what had happened and he made me walk in front of him and point the girl out if I saw her. She’d gone from the bar so I told him what she looked like and he saw her going into the toilets. He went in and got her and I ran back to Emma. The woman bouncer searched the girl but didn’t find the purse on her. She must’ve given it to her mate.Unfortunately they couldn’t chuck the ginger bitch out so Emma and I started wetting ourselves that we were going to get battered. The bouncer said that at the 1st sign of trouble to get him and he’d make sure she was thrown out straight away. We weren’t totally convinced that we’d survive the night though so we did what he said and checked the toilets and office for an empty purse before getting Jake and leaving.

The next problem we had was that the ticket for Emma’s coat was in her purse. The bouncer went and got the manager who got the cloakroom lady to find Emma’s coat. Luckily she did.Emma did said that she’d rather her purse had been stolen than her phone because it only had £15 in it and her debit card and she said she’s only got about £2 in her account!

When Jake and I got back to my house, I suddenly discovered that he was really quite pissed! I went upstairs to tell Mum I was home and by the time I went back in the kitchen, he’d managed to spill a glass of water and spread butter EVERYWHERE in an attempt at making toast! When I asked what he’s been doing he just swayed and giggled at me!

Hugo rang Jake at one point but because he was incapable of answering his phone, I ended up speaking to Hugo. I’ve not done that for a while but he was actually quite nice to me! However, I’m sure he took pleasure in telling me that Jake’s brother said he’s glad I’ve left college so he doesn’t have to look at my ugly face anymore. Charming! Twat.

Ha ha!! Hugo said he wants me and Jake to go out one day with him and his girlfriend thing, Katie. I think not! I might be able to cope with talking on the phone but actually seeing him in the flesh again might be a bit too much!

Ahh, during the time Jake spent coating the kitchen in butter and lying flat out on the dining room floor, he told me that I’m beautiful and that he loves me. 🙂 That makes up nicely for his brother’s statement to Hugo.

Bye!