Tag Archives: Jake

It’s not the right atmosphere for a girlfriend – 17th August 2001

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Friday 17th I went to Jake’s house today and he came to mine for a Chinese later on. We had a proper serious discussion about splitting up at uni. Usually I’m the negative one about it and he’s being all positive but this time it was the other way around. I didn’t like it cos there didn’t seem to be any way of convincing him that it might be alright. He also upset me by saying things like, “Do you really think we’ll still be together when we’re 40?” and “6 years is a long time” (that’s how long he could be at uni for) and “We’ve only been together 18 months”.

After all the nice messages about wanting to marry me and be together forever, all that wasn’t very nice to hear cos it makes me think he didn’t really mean the nice stuff. He kept saying how loads of his mates have split up with their girlfriends since they got to uni and how it’s not the right atmosphere for a girlfriend and we might have different groups of friends.

The discussion carried on while we were waiting for his bus to arrive. He’s been fine up until I got back from Scotland and now he’s really bothered about it. I want to know why. I think maybe one of his friends has said something to him or he wants Emma.

When the bus came, he gave me a quick kiss goodbye and then went off, leaving me wondering what the hell is going to happen.

Bye!

Grim, derelict and scary – 28th July 2000

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Saturday 28th A big group of us all went to Liverpool tonight for Emma’s birthday. We were led by Niall Cafferty (cos he’d been before) and he’s a bit of a mosher so we ended up in some weird places including The Swan where we went first. It sounds like a nice, well-furnished pub but no, ‘pub’ is the only word there that can be used to describe it, along with other words such as grim, derelict and scary. We were the ones being stared at! Other than that and the heat, it wasn’t too bad!

A few of us decided to leave a bit early because it was way too hot and sweaty in there and we went to Revolution, the vodka bar, instead. I had a black cherry flavoured vodka and a dark chocolate mint one. Mmmm!

At 9pm we went to meet up with the others at Krazyhouse which was our main destination. Again, it was very hot in there but pretty cool.

Jake and I had a minor fall out cos he said he liked me because I’m “nice”. Don’t be creative with your compliments, will you?! I forgave him soon after once he’d said he loves me etc. a few times!

I’d have quite happily stayed in Krazyhouse but Cat, Lizzie, Denny and Jake were hot so I left with them and went back to Revolution. When we got bored of vodka, we wandered the streets, sat on a bench and then found nice, comfy sofas in Life Café. Then we met up with the others and went home to bed.

Bye!

Man-hunting every night – 15th July 2000

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Sunday 15th Swing Band had to do a concert in the rain this afternoon at the Brooklyn Hotel in Bolton. There were also little girly Morris dancers too. It wasn’t much fun.

After the concert, I went straight to Gethin’s 18th birthday party. It was good but me and Jake fell out over something completely stupid again. When he arrived, all he did was hold my hand and then he paid more attention to Emma and the frog she’d caught. So, I just went a bit quiet but he thought I was ignoring him so he kept out of my way, therefore I thought he was ignoring me.

Everyone went to The Coach and Horses a but later and I made a comment about people being welcome to Jake if they still fancied him. I didn’t mean it. I was just pissed off. However, he heard me and walked out, telling Denny he was going home. I felt awful then but he wouldn’t answer his phone.

Denny was being all concerned that we were both okay and tried to catch up with him but failed. He was being really sweet!

Just as I was on the verge of tears, Michael and Sarah offered to catch up with him in the car. So off we went and found Jake just walking up towards the prison. I got out and we both apologised and hugged and he ended up staying in the spare room at my house.

During Gethin’s party, I was talking to Lizzie and she filled me in on the events in Cyprus. Floyd stayed in the apartment most of the time and Gethin was constantly ringing Nell. Karen and Lizzie however were off man-hunting every night and succeeded. The only snogged 6 people each but slept with 2 of them each. Karen had a really fit one called Costas and someone else, and Lizzie had Lazarus (the minging friend of Costas) and Harry, a 16 year old student from Berkshire. No doubt we’ll get all the details over and over and over again at various points from now on!

Bye!

Barcelona is FULL of Americans and mopeds – 4th to 6th July 2001

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Wednesday 4th We went on another bloody hill walk today to Parc Güell where there’s lots of Gaudi artwork. We shouldn’t have had to walk but most of the damn street escalators weren’t working! It was nice when we got there though.

Two people asked us if we spoke English so maybe we’re so tanned that we now look Spanish. Hah! I think not! I’m still as pasty as anything!

My feet still hurt now from all the walking we did today.

This afternoon we went to see more Gaudi stuff at some building with a bank on the ground floor. We had to pay to get in cos it was like a museum but it was pretty good.

There was an old apartment with all the furniture and stuff still in it. The on the rood there were lots of arches and stuff. It’s all in here!…

We went back to the hotel to get changed and then went out for tea. We went to the harbour bit and to a posher restaurant. It was quite expensive but pretty minging food. We had Spanish food and it was all fishy so I wasn’t too keen. Never mind though, Jake paid for that one!

I rang home again tonight and Mum informed me that Connor quit his job at AMEC because he hates it. He’s got nothing to fall back on though and nothing else lined up. Mum also said it’s very hot at home and there have been floods in Wales around where my Grandma L lived. My dad’s cousin’s caravan’s been washed away. She wasn’t in it though.

Jake and I have now been together for a year and 5 months. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Bye!

Thursday 5th We went to see the gothic part of Barcelona today. It was quite nice with the narrow streets but I can see why that makes it a bad idea to go at night. We went to the Hard Rock Café again for lunch and then present buying around the harbour bit.

We had a wander then ate at Moka which was a nice and fairly cheap café/restaurant place on Las Ramblas. We didn’t do nearly as much today cos we needed presents etc. and didn’t have much money and we’re pretty tired too.

I don’t really want to go home tomorrow. The things I won’t miss are the sticky heat, the scrubby pickpockets and the music shop under our room which plays about 5 songs over and over. Nsync is one of their favourites which we haven’t been too pleased about! I will miss my bed and the bath and having Jake there all the time though.

We have made one conclusion from this holiday and that is that Barcelona is FULL of Americans and mopeds.

Bye!

Friday 6th We left our hotel at about 10am and nearly missed the train to the airport which would’ve meant missing the plane. That was quite scary cos we wouldn’t have known what to do.

The flight home wasn’t too good. It was very bumpy and cloudy so I couldn’t see much. I didn’t like it. I thought I was nervous but the girl behind us started hyperventilating and the cabin crew had to take her to their bit at the back to calm her down.

It was surprisingly hot when we got outside Speke Airport to meet my dad. He was a bit late because of traffic jams but he got there eventually.

I saw Jake again this evening and we just stayed in and watched TV cos everyone else is still away.

Bye!

She’s really false – 25th & 26th June 2001

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Monday 25th I went to the Trafford Centre with Jake. We got the bus there and Robbie’s girlfriend Amy got on it too. Jake seem to like her and get on with her but she completely ignored me. I wish Robbie liked and got on with me.

When we got there, we also saw loads of people from Jake’s year. Earlier we saw some of them drive past and then we saw a couple of others and then his ex-girlfriend on the way home. The lad (Alex) was the only one who acknowledged my existence and asked me if I’m going to the college leaving do on Wednesday cos he is seeing as he stayed back at college a year.

They all asked Jake about Canada (grr!) and he informed some of them that he’ll go back at some point to renew his qualification thing. He said I could go with him but it involved money which I don’t have and I’d be stuck on my own while he pissed off and skied.

Ugh, he also said Jodie Nichols is going to Huddersfield too. This is not particularly good news as she really gets on my nerves. She used to be my best mate at primary school but then she started ignoring me and now she’s really false when she smiles or says hi and stuff. Plus she was openly flirting with Jake once when she thought I wasn’t there.

Grandma’s still in hospital. If something happens to her and everyone goes up to Scotland, I won’t want to go to Barcelona. I don’t know what to do if the worst happens.

Jake’s not got a job in that architect’s office cos there was nowt for him to do. He’s now decided he wants a job in the Quiksilver shop in Manchester.

Bye!

Tuesday 26th Gethin asked Jake round to his house this morning and I have to say that I was quite a bit pissed off. It was mainly because I felt left out cos he’s meant to be friends with both of us but he’d chosen Jake over me and could’ve asked us both. Also, I know Gethin used to fancy Jake and, even though I know Jake’s not gay, I still don’t like the thought of Gethin being alone with him cos that’s what Gethin would want.

So, I decided to send Gethin a short text message, just to let him know I wasn’t entirely happy, saying, “Why is it that you never ask anyone else round to your on their own? Hmm, I wonder.”

Then about 5 minutes later, the phone rang. It was Gethin asking what the message was in aid of. I told him basically what the problem was and then ended the conversation and thought that was the end of it.

However, when Jake came to mine afterwards, we fell out over it cos he couldn’t see why I felt left out. He started saying stuff about uni too and how we’ll have to have our own friends then. I pointed out that this was different cos we’re both friends with Gethin and I don’t have a problem with him going out without me with his mates that I don’t know as well.

I couldn’t stop crying but then I was also upset about Grandma at the same time cos Mum rang me from work and said she’s really ill.

We eventually made up and he went to Venture Scouts.

Bye!

Threesomes and foursomes and incest and stuff – 23rd June 2001

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Saturday 23rd It was sooo nice waking up with Jake this morning. We didn’t get up for quite a while cos it was nice just lying there. When we were all finally out of bed, we attempted to make breakfast. I did scrambled eggs, Michael did pancakes and Sarah did toast and bacon. Jake served it all up.

We were at Sarah’s nearly all day before going home and then meeting all our other friends in The Dog to do The Run. Cat really pissed me off at one point by having a go at me for asking her very loudly if she was going to “shag” Floyd. I didn’t say that at all. I know because I wouldn’t have phrased it like that. She must’ve just misheard something else but she wouldn’t listen to me when I said I hadn’t said that.

Everyone went back to Sarah’s tonight. We all sat about for a bit before going to bed. We all got out of bed again though to look at the dodgy books Cat and Gethin found in Sarah’s parents’ room. There was one that explained about threesomes and foursomes and incest and stuff. Weird!

Jake and I did stuff but he didn’t ask if I wanted to this time, he just assumed. He assumed right though. We talked for ages and I know we’re being doubly careful as I’m on the pill for my skin but it was still in the back of my mind about that there could be a tiny chance of an accident somehow. So I asked Jake what he’d do if that happened, just as a matter of interest. He said he definitely wouldn’t dump me and would support me in whatever I wanted to do but seemed in favour of abortion if anything happened at our age because we haven’t got any money etc.

He said ideally he’d want to have kids in his early 30s and would want 2 of them (a boy first then a girl). He said he’d rather have 2 girls than 2 boys cos he reckons they’d be easier. He also told me he wants to marry me again but said after uni cos he want to travel round the world first. When I asked him who with, I was hoping he’d say me but instead he said Charlie Wilson and a couple of other mates cos they all said they would. I wasn’t even mentioned! 😦

I then got pissed off (cos when he got back from Canada he said he wouldn’t go anywhere without me again) then I got upset and then tried to get a moth out of the room and managed to break the curtains. Jake then apologised and cuddled me but then said something about Wick which upset me even more cos it doesn’t look like we’re going this year cos Auntie S isn’t coping very well with looking after Grandma L cos she’s old and has lots wrong with her.

Jake then got upset too because I was upset and said he never wants to go anywhere without me again but just didn’t think when I asked cos he didn’t think I’d want to go with the lads. It’d still have been nice if he’d wanted to go with me though.

Bye!

That’s my last exam failed – 20th to 22nd June 2001

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Wednesday 20th AAARRGGHHH!!! Panic! I’m NEVER going to pass Sports Studies tomorrow. I know nothing!

Mum and I went to HSBC in town to try and sort out a student account with them so I can have a free 4 year railcard. However, when I showed the woman my offer from Huddersfield, she started saying how it wasn’t an unconditional offer and that it should be. Duh! Hardly anyone gets them. She didn’t have a clue what she was on about and disappeared into the back loads so whoever was there didn’t know much either. She also started saying how we couldn’t open one until 2nd July but then in the next breath said she’d already opened them for people with offers that looked different to mine.

We also got my holiday money from Lunn Poly and my holiday insurance from Boots and when we got home, Mum rang HSBC and we found out that you can’t open student accounts in any bank until 2nd July for some reason.

I saw Jake this evening and completely out of the blue he said, “I want to marry you”. Obviously he didn’t mean now but it was very nice to hear. 🙂 He also kept cuddling and kissing me and telling me how nice I am. He realises even more how much he loves me when he’s been away. He gave me a lucky kiss for my exam tomorrow and drew a purple smiley face on my hand.

Bye!

Thursday 21st Well, that’s my last exam failed. No more now. Yey!

I found out today that Mr L’s wife’s been killed in a car crash. It’s awful. She didn’t deserve that.

I went round to Lizzie’s house tonight for a small party to celebrate the end of exams. It was okay but we mainly just sat around and watched the South Park movie. Jake didn’t come because he was doing some pub crawl with his mates somewhere.

Sarah admitted to me that if she met Maz somewhere she probably wouldn’t say no if he launched himself at her. Why can’t my friends stick with one lad? When I point out that I have done, they always say that it’s different “because it’s Jake”.

Bye!

Friday 22nd It’s so weird now. I keep forgetting I don’t have to revise and I don’t know what to do with myself!

Michael picked me and Jake up this evening and we all went round to Sarah’s because her parents have gone to Cyprus. Sarah was still at work when we arrived but I had a back door key so we just sat around watching Big Brother and stuff. I didn’t want Narinder to be evicted!

We were all staying over so Sarah let me and Jake have the spare bed and Michael slept in Sarah’s bed with her. Jake and I just kissed and cuddled to start with and then things progressed when we were just about to go to sleep.

Bye!

I’ve got to stop this paranoia! – 18th & 19th June 2001

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Monday 18th I was in a bit of a better mood this morning and all that stuff I wrote last night now seems completely stupid!

However, my exam this afternoon has pissed me off completely. It was the physiology section of Sports Studies and we had 2 hours to do 4 long questions. I just don’t see the point of doing pages and pages of notes on loads of different things when the exam only covers 4 small areas. Typically, those 4 areas were also on the thinks that I didn’t particularly understand. Oh well, only one more exam to go now.

Jake gets back from Scotland tonight and I was expecting to see him cos he said he should be able to get here. I really need a hug after this weekend and that exam today but he’s just texted me today he won’t be able to get here cos his dad’s been driving all day and his bro’s too tired. I don’t think he’s all that bothered about seeing me actually cos surely he could get a bus or a taxi like he normally does.

Urgh, I’ve got to stop this paranoia! It’s not doing me any good. He probably doesn’t feel like hanging round for buses etc. after travelling all day and he probably wants a shower and bed. I’ll just have to see him tomorrow instead cos I doubt I’ll do any revision tomorrow evening anyway. He’d better bring the chocolate he bought me. I need it!

Bye!

Tuesday 19th It’s Dad’s birthday today! I’m not sure how old he is actually. Hang on, he was born in 1946 so he must be… erm… 55(?). I hate maths!!

I’m feeling much better today anyway and very much loved! Jake came at about 4:30pm and kept hugging me and telling me I was nice and stuff. I didn’t see him for very long cos he had Venture Scouts but I was left with plenty of chocolate to eat!

Bye!

A total cock-up – 15th June 2001

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Friday 15th Well, I thought those exams were going to be bad and so they were. I managed to answer all the biology questions but didn’t have a clue what I was writing about. The geography one was a total cock-up. There were 4 really hard essay questions and I had to do 2 of them. The first one I did was completely vague answers and the 2nd one I just shouldn’t have done cos I didn’t have a clue what it meant. Half way through writing it I realised I should’ve done a different one but I only had about 10 minutes left so it was too late.

Urrggh!! I’m never going to get into uni!

Jake met me outside college after my last exam and we walked back to mine. Well, we started to walk then it started thundering so we got on a bus instead.

He’s going to Scotland with his family tonight to visit friends on the Isle of Mull so we only had about 3 hours before his dad picked him up. We were just talking and for some reason got onto the subject of celibacy. He ended up saying that he’d still love me bit it wouldn’t suit him cos he would be too frustrated! He said he could cope if I didn’t believe in sex before marriage cos there’s the hope that one day it will happen. It was a very jokey conversation and he was telling me (when I pointed out that he went for 16 years without even snogging a girl) that when lads are 16 they always hope that they’ll get to have sex with a girl one day. Hmm, maybe not in some cases. I can’t imagine Rory really wanting to do it with a girl!

Ahh, Jake also told me that after the conversation about what he’d do if I had no legs, that he would still love me just as much. That’s good to know!

He told me he liked my teeth today too. I don’t. They’re all gappy. He said he likes that though. Fairy nuff, I suppose.

I can’t not see him for 3 whole days! Ugh! Ok, so it’s nothing compared to 3 months but I like seeing him and it’s something to look forwards to after revision all day. Ah well, I’ll just have to cope. I will miss him though.

Bye!

I left Jake watching TV to go and make some fake cum – 10th June 2001

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Sunday 10th Hmm. Last night was quite a varied night in the end with some good bits and some not so good bits.

Jake, Michael, Sarah, Karen, Cat, Gethin and I all went round to Lizzie’s house because her parents went away to Cyprus for 2 weeks yesterday. We all brought alcohol supplies and just settled down in the living room to watch TV/listen to music/talk.

Gethin was being all lively and was poncing about in the middle of the room, dancing and cracking crap jokes in order to be the centre of attention but as soon as everyone lost interest he went and sulked and had heart-to-heart talks with people and cried cos he’s gay. I didn’t fall for it. It was all for attention purposes and really got on my nerves.

My theory is that it was mostly for the benefit of Sarah but she’s so soft she gave him loads of sympathy. You see, I reckon Gethin’s jealous deep down of Michael because now he’s come along, Sarah’s no longer following Gethin round like a little sheep in hope she’ll get a snog out of him. He didn’t want to know at the time but now it’s the whole situation of wanting what he can’t have. I may be wrong but it’d be a very Gethin-like thing to do.

He did ask me if he could talk to me at one point but I refused to go out of the room with him cos I had a feeling that if he was going to go all serious. I’d either get annoyed or laugh and I didn’t really want to fall out with him.

I had a minor jokey disagreement with Jake while he was watching the Formula 1 on TV. I asked why he found it so interesting and he eventually came out with a comment that girls only like football for the perve factor. That pissed me off so much so I put up and argument. He did admit in the end that he knows that’s not why I watch it. Why can’t I just like the game? Grrr.

I left Jake watching TV to go and make some fake cum at one point. Cat found a recipe a while ago on the internet and was going to spread it round Mr L’s room (ha ha ha!!!) so we thought we’d test it out. It didn’t work. We ended up with a runny yellow concoction consisting of egg white, sugar, mayonnaise, flour, evaporated milk, arrowroot, salad cream and lots more. It was pretty mingin’! (We didn’t actually follow a recipe, we guessed!)

A few of us had a go at my drinking games. We played Fuzzy Duck, Bunnies, something with matches and something where you had to pick a bottle up with your mouth while standing on one leg. We got bored pretty quickly though cos none of us were that pissed.

Sarah, Michael, Jake and I all went in Sarah’s car to get Chinese takeaway and stopped to pick Floyd up from The Green Dragon on the way back. He was still working so I used my superb waitressing skills and help him tidy up faster so he could finish his shift. It’s scary how it all came back to me!

When we got back, we ate too much food and all nearly exploded but it’s too nice to leave leftovers! Sarah and Michael then had to go out again to take Cat home cos she had to teach Sunday school this morning.

Cat got upset at one point too, all because of fucking Mr L. She checked his email and discovered a letter which someone had written for him to print off and put with his application forms for new jobs. It was all about why he’d resigned (cos of the allegations made against him) and went cringingly onto say how he loves his job and how he’ll work extra hard to prove himself etc. Tosser!

The part that really got to Cat though was a bit saying that the head of our school would back him up about what an “asset” he was. It sounds like Mr C didn’t believe what Cat was saying. Mr bloody L is going to be allowed to teach again and it’ll happen all over again with more pupils. With any luck though, nobody will want to risk taking him on.

Even though we were all full from Chinese, we kept finding chocolates and sweets all over the house and therefore we all felt even more sick!

It really is a mess in Lizzie’s house. You can hardly move for rubbish and there’s about 4 inches of dust on the vacuum cleaner! Luckily Lizzie said Jake and I could share her sister’s bed so we didn’t have to sleep in amongst the mess. Mind you, it took us a while to clear the crap off her sister’s bed too!

We went to bed pretty early actually. Sarah and Michael shared another bedroom and the others slept on the living room floor.

I left Jake on the bed to go in the bathroom and came back to find him in the bed with no clothes on at all! We just kissed and cuddled for a bit then…

[CENSORED! I can’t include what I wrote because I covered all the gory details at some point with a thick black pen, probably before I went to uni when I feared Mum or Abby would find my diaries. I’m not going to pretend I’m not relieved I don’t have to cringe my way through sharing that sort of stuff.]

We got some sleep after that and it was really nice being able to snuggle up together. It was really nice waking up with him there this morning too. We cuddled for ages before Sarah knocked on the door to say she was leaving soon if we wanted a lift. We all ended up going to McDonald’s for breakfast (mmm, bacon roll!) and Rory was working. The McDonald’s uniform actually makes him look vaguely straight!

Jake got a lift back with Karen cos she was dropping Lizzie off and he lives in the next close to Lizzie. I don’t like leaving him, especially when Karen’s there. I’m going to sound really paranoid now but she keeps flirting with him, I’m sure! He was complaining this morning about his hair being a mess and she started stroking his head saying, “Ahh!”. She laughs at him all the time and kept saying he was sweet last night.

Hugo kept ringing him too and Karen made sure she answered it and said, “Hi! This is Big ‘n’ Bouncy Escorts. How may I help you?” Actually, that was quite funny though. I probably wouldn’t notice as much if I didn’t know that she used to fancy him. Ugh, I don’t know! I don’t think she’s really a threat though!

When I got home this morning, Jake sent me a message saying he’s sorry if he hurt me (pain-wise) last night and not to feel guilty about it. Ooh, I love him sooo much! 🙂

Sarah told me in the car on the way home that she thinks Michael was expecting to go all the way last night but he said he respected her for not wanting to rush it. Aww, sweet! She said she did 2 to him and he did 3 to her on our ranking system.

Just to explain, my mates and I have come up with numbers to represent what stage was reached with lads, just in case we don’t want to say properly what we did if other people are there. It goes:

1 = Snog
2 = Grope
3 = Hands
4 = Mouths
5 = Sex

So, if I ever use those numbers in here, that’s the explanation for it.

I’ve spoken to Jake a couple of times today on the phone cos he decided not to come here cos he’s really tired and doesn’t feel like getting the buses and taxis. (His brother’s getting that Punto but Jake won’t be insured on it.)

I’ve just been texting Jake now and I apologised again for last night. He said it doesn’t matter and that it didn’t last very long the first time so that’s the longest it’s lasted yet!

Oh no, I’ve got a driving lesson tomorrow. I’ve forgotten what to do!

Bye!