That’s my last exam failed – 20th to 22nd June 2001

Wednesday 20th AAARRGGHHH!!! Panic! I’m NEVER going to pass Sports Studies tomorrow. I know nothing!

Mum and I went to HSBC in town to try and sort out a student account with them so I can have a free 4 year railcard. However, when I showed the woman my offer from Huddersfield, she started saying how it wasn’t an unconditional offer and that it should be. Duh! Hardly anyone gets them. She didn’t have a clue what she was on about and disappeared into the back loads so whoever was there didn’t know much either. She also started saying how we couldn’t open one until 2nd July but then in the next breath said she’d already opened them for people with offers that looked different to mine.

We also got my holiday money from Lunn Poly and my holiday insurance from Boots and when we got home, Mum rang HSBC and we found out that you can’t open student accounts in any bank until 2nd July for some reason.

I saw Jake this evening and completely out of the blue he said, “I want to marry you”. Obviously he didn’t mean now but it was very nice to hear. 🙂 He also kept cuddling and kissing me and telling me how nice I am. He realises even more how much he loves me when he’s been away. He gave me a lucky kiss for my exam tomorrow and drew a purple smiley face on my hand.

Bye!

Thursday 21st Well, that’s my last exam failed. No more now. Yey!

I found out today that Mr L’s wife’s been killed in a car crash. It’s awful. She didn’t deserve that.

I went round to Lizzie’s house tonight for a small party to celebrate the end of exams. It was okay but we mainly just sat around and watched the South Park movie. Jake didn’t come because he was doing some pub crawl with his mates somewhere.

Sarah admitted to me that if she met Maz somewhere she probably wouldn’t say no if he launched himself at her. Why can’t my friends stick with one lad? When I point out that I have done, they always say that it’s different “because it’s Jake”.

Bye!

Friday 22nd It’s so weird now. I keep forgetting I don’t have to revise and I don’t know what to do with myself!

Michael picked me and Jake up this evening and we all went round to Sarah’s because her parents have gone to Cyprus. Sarah was still at work when we arrived but I had a back door key so we just sat around watching Big Brother and stuff. I didn’t want Narinder to be evicted!

We were all staying over so Sarah let me and Jake have the spare bed and Michael slept in Sarah’s bed with her. Jake and I just kissed and cuddled to start with and then things progressed when we were just about to go to sleep.

Bye!

I’ve got to stop this paranoia! – 18th & 19th June 2001

Monday 18th I was in a bit of a better mood this morning and all that stuff I wrote last night now seems completely stupid!

However, my exam this afternoon has pissed me off completely. It was the physiology section of Sports Studies and we had 2 hours to do 4 long questions. I just don’t see the point of doing pages and pages of notes on loads of different things when the exam only covers 4 small areas. Typically, those 4 areas were also on the thinks that I didn’t particularly understand. Oh well, only one more exam to go now.

Jake gets back from Scotland tonight and I was expecting to see him cos he said he should be able to get here. I really need a hug after this weekend and that exam today but he’s just texted me today he won’t be able to get here cos his dad’s been driving all day and his bro’s too tired. I don’t think he’s all that bothered about seeing me actually cos surely he could get a bus or a taxi like he normally does.

Urgh, I’ve got to stop this paranoia! It’s not doing me any good. He probably doesn’t feel like hanging round for buses etc. after travelling all day and he probably wants a shower and bed. I’ll just have to see him tomorrow instead cos I doubt I’ll do any revision tomorrow evening anyway. He’d better bring the chocolate he bought me. I need it!

Bye!

Tuesday 19th It’s Dad’s birthday today! I’m not sure how old he is actually. Hang on, he was born in 1946 so he must be… erm… 55(?). I hate maths!!

I’m feeling much better today anyway and very much loved! Jake came at about 4:30pm and kept hugging me and telling me I was nice and stuff. I didn’t see him for very long cos he had Venture Scouts but I was left with plenty of chocolate to eat!

Bye!

A total cock-up – 15th June 2001

Friday 15th Well, I thought those exams were going to be bad and so they were. I managed to answer all the biology questions but didn’t have a clue what I was writing about. The geography one was a total cock-up. There were 4 really hard essay questions and I had to do 2 of them. The first one I did was completely vague answers and the 2nd one I just shouldn’t have done cos I didn’t have a clue what it meant. Half way through writing it I realised I should’ve done a different one but I only had about 10 minutes left so it was too late.

Urrggh!! I’m never going to get into uni!

Jake met me outside college after my last exam and we walked back to mine. Well, we started to walk then it started thundering so we got on a bus instead.

He’s going to Scotland with his family tonight to visit friends on the Isle of Mull so we only had about 3 hours before his dad picked him up. We were just talking and for some reason got onto the subject of celibacy. He ended up saying that he’d still love me bit it wouldn’t suit him cos he would be too frustrated! He said he could cope if I didn’t believe in sex before marriage cos there’s the hope that one day it will happen. It was a very jokey conversation and he was telling me (when I pointed out that he went for 16 years without even snogging a girl) that when lads are 16 they always hope that they’ll get to have sex with a girl one day. Hmm, maybe not in some cases. I can’t imagine Rory really wanting to do it with a girl!

Ahh, Jake also told me that after the conversation about what he’d do if I had no legs, that he would still love me just as much. That’s good to know!

He told me he liked my teeth today too. I don’t. They’re all gappy. He said he likes that though. Fairy nuff, I suppose.

I can’t not see him for 3 whole days! Ugh! Ok, so it’s nothing compared to 3 months but I like seeing him and it’s something to look forwards to after revision all day. Ah well, I’ll just have to cope. I will miss him though.

Bye!

I’m going through an ugly stage – 14th June 2001

Thursday 14th Uurrggh! Shiiiit!! There’s no way I can pass my geography and biology exams tomorrow. I am sooooo fucked!! I don’t know anything and the small amount of information I have managed to memorise means absolutely nothing to me. I’d better start collecting application forms for places like McDonald’s and Woolworths soon cos I very much doubt I’ll be getting 14 points from my exams.

I think I’m suffering from exam stress. Well, that’s my excuse for everything e.g. not emptying the dishwasher, getting pissed off with Abby etc.!

Robbie dropped Jake off at mine tonight in his new car. His girlfriend was in it too. Grrr! It was so good when Jake had a car. I don’t like to think of his bro and girlfriend having one instead.

Jake and I went to the Trafford Centre tonight cos he needed to feed his shirt buying addition. He bought 2. They are pretty cool though.

I blurted out that I didn’t like his brother (not uncommon knowledge cos he hates me) and Jake accused me of attention seeking!? In the end (when we made up) he said he just couldn’t think of anything else to say.

I’m going through an ugly stage (exam stress!) but Jake kept telling me I’m yummy whether I believe it or not. 🙂 I love him!! Actually, I didn’t feel too bad tonight. I’ve been feeling a mess all week but I’ve been stuck at home revising mostly so it was nice to be out tonight and not sat down.

Bye!

I wish I’d never remembered – 12th June 2001

Tuesday 12th Fuck. I realised before that I’ve made a stupid mistake on the Ecology paper I did last week for biology. I don’t know what made me remember but it suddenly came to me that on one question about catching insects, I wrote about the mark, release and capture method. I realised it was wrong at the time but I thought I only had 7 mins left (I actually had 17 mins but a teacher had written the finishing time wrongly on the board) so I made a note next to the question saying “pitfall traps” but I never went back to it because I forgot. Bugger! I wouldn’t mind but the grade boundaries are sooo close and those few marks could’ve made quite a difference. I’m so pissed off with myself but it’s too late to do anything about it now. I wish I’d never remembered. 😦

Jake and I have been going out a year and 4 months and 1 day. Yesterday was the 11th and that was the date he actually asked me out. HOWEVER, from now on we’ve decided that we will use the date of the 4th to mark anniversary type things cos it was a week before the 11th February (on the 4th) that we first got together, even if nothing was official, at Amanda Bryan’s birthday party in The Coach and Horses. When we think of getting together, that’s what we think of – that party. So, we have now been “together” for 1 year, 4 months, 1 week and 1 day! 🙂

I hate revision! Grrr!!

Jake came round for a bit this evening before he went to Venture Scouts. We didn’t really do much cos we didn’t have much time. I went really, really ticklish though for some reason!

He was telling me about this work experience he’s doing in the summer. He said he’s working at BDP Advanced Technologies on Deansgate in Manchester. At first he said it was only going to be for 2 weeks then he said a month and today he told me it could be for 7 weeks over the summer. Ohh, I might hardly ever get to see him but he said they want to train him up properly and, you never know, if he goes every summer they may offer him a job for after uni.

He suggested that I get some work experience but I don’t particularly want to, to be honest. I’ll be doing a whole year’s work placement at uni (if I get there!), plus I want to make the most of this summer while I’ve got no college stuff to do.

Bye!

I found a whole new thing to worry about. Geography. – 6th June 2001

Wednesday 6th Now I’ve got those 3 biology exams over with I was pretty pleased but this morning I found a whole new thing to worry about. Geography.

I was sorting out my geography folder and suddenly realised exactly how much I’m going to have to revise. The trouble is that between the time I was taught it and now, I’ve forgotten everything and therefore will have to revise all of it properly. What doesn’t help is the fact that I didn’t understand any of it in the first place! I’ve only got until next Friday to learn and understand it all, plus a Health & Disease topic for biology, the exam I have also got next Friday. I am so buggered!

Had to go to the dentist today but instead of dreading it (even though my teeth are fine), I actually didn’t mind going because it meant a break from panic revision.

I saw Jake this evening. We didn’t do much really because it’s started raining and there aren’t any buses that go anywhere interesting cheaply and the football was on. England beat Greece 2-0. Yey! The Greek team had loads of really good names though compared to our lot!

Hah! My sister’s boyfriend got his car back (after crashing it) today but it’s come back with the wrong registration number on the front. A 6 has been replaced by an 8 so it’s got to go back in to be changed tomorrow before Connor gets arrested or something!

Bye!

It wasn’t too bad in isolation – 5th June 2001

Tuesday 5th I was actually quite pleasantly surprised by the Ecology & Physiology resit biology papers today but the Continuity of Life paper (which I haven’t got any form of grade in and need to) was a bit of a disaster. I revised it pretty hard but nothing from my notes seemed to fit in as the answers to the questions. Bollocks! I really need a grade.

I had bloody Cat sat next to me moaning cos she thought she’s going to get a B. Stupid cow! There’s the rest of us who’ll be ecstatic if we get a D and she’s going to probably throw herself off college of she doesn’t get the top grade! Grrr!

I only had Physiology this morning which was an hour and half long so I had to sit in isolation with Rachael Hollins for 2 and a half hours to stop us talking to people who had it in the afternoon. You’d have thought the exam board would realise people do resits and not put 4 biology exams in one afternoon.

It wasn’t too bad in isolation. We just sat and talked and slagged off twisted bitch Hayley and ate. It was a bit boring after a while though but at least I wasn’t on my own.

Yey! Robbie Taylor passed his driving test today with only 4 minor faults. That means they’re getting a car on Sunday.

I went in the new college block after my exam. It’s really hot and white and smells new. It’s really ugly from the outside but quite nice inside.

I met Jake at about 4:30 outside college and we walked back to my house. We didn’t do all that much except watch TV and cuddle. Mmm! 🙂

Bye!

Crap, crap, crap! – 4th June 2001

Monday 4th AAARRGGHHH!!!!! I’ve got one day (ONE DAY!!!) to go until 3 biology exams. No actually, it’s not even a day because they’re all tomorrow. Crap, crap, crap! I know nothing! I’ve been staring at my notes but none of the info is sticking in my brain. This is not good.

My problem is that I don’t panic about exams (until the day before when my brain is void of all biology) so I don’t revise until the last minute. Shit. I’m never going to pass.

I’ve worked out that from the 4 modules I’ve already done (2 of which I’m resitting tomorrow), I’ve got  marks which means I’ve already got an N (i.e. I’ve got no grade but almost an E → N = Near miss). So, to get an E I need 28 marks out of the 2 modules I’ve not done yet. However, I really need a D or more to get the 14 points I need to get into uni but for a D I need 88 marks. Not going to happen.

If I get an E in biology, I could really do with a B in geography but to get that I need 114 marks from the modules this summer. Ha ha!! No chance!

Oh God! I’m going to end up getting stuck working in Little Chef or something with Mr L. Nooooooo!!!

Abby had a maths tutoring thing near Birchwood at 5:15pm so Mum dropped me, Mollie and Jake off for a walk round Risley Moss (I’ve not been there since I did orienteering at GCSE for P.E.!). We saw rabbits which Mollie took great pleasure in chasing and a jay. It was really nice actually cos there was nobody there. We went into the big tower bird hide thing and Mollie came too. I didn’t even realise the area of land it looks over existed. There aren’t many places round Birchwood now that don’t have rabbit warren-style housing estates and business parks on them actually.

Bye!

[I was back at Risley Moss for a work day in February this year…]

Risley Moss

Hate biology. Brain gone numb. – 2nd & 3rd June 2001

Saturday 2nd Jake and I went to see Captain Corelli’s Mandolin at the Trafford Centre cinema this evening. It was a good film, I just don’t like seeing people getting shot/hanged cos it’s pretty realistic and I like to think (even though it’s not true) that things like that don’t happen cos it upsets me.

The worry of who we’ll be sharing a flat thing with at uni came up today. Well, actually it was more me worrying about who Jake’ll be sharing with really. He’s decided he doesn’t want to share with all lads which obviously means girls will be involved. It wouldn’t be as bad if he wasn’t so damn good looking but he is and girls ALWAYS fancy him.

I’m just so scared that one day he’ll find someone who he prefers to me and she likes him too. I trust him but I don’t trust other girls not to try anything on. I don’t like the thought of other girls liking him. I mean, even some of my mates have openly admitted that they either fancy or fancied him at some point.

He doesn’t really have to worry about lads queuing up for me though cos I don’t exactly stand out as much as he does.

Ugh, it’s ages away yet. I’ll worry about it nearer the time!

Bye!

Sunday 3rd Ugh. Revision overload. Hate biology. Brain gone numb. Never going to get a grade.

I went to the pub with Jake, Connor and Abby tonight for a game of pool. We went to The George in Denny’s village so Denny and Nigel Groves were in there too. I talked to Denny for a bit then nearly fell asleep due to brain numbness.

I asked for a pint of diesel but instead I got a little glass of bright pink stuff with a slice of lemon and ice. Couldn’t be bothered complaining so I drank it. God knows what it was though!

Bye!

I DO NOT trust all the tarty little College 1 girls – 24th May 2001

Thursday 24th I failed my 2nd exam this morning. It was General Studies again, only this time the paper had French, some strange comprehension thing on weather (which I should’ve known from Geography but didn’t), a choice of essay (I wrote one about “fragile Earth” or something), a case study about education and another section I think but I can’t remember what it was on.

There’s no way I could’ve passed it cos I didn’t know any of the answers and I couldn’t see Cat’s paper quite as well today, plus I ran out of time because there was so much to read through.

After the exam, a big group of us went and sat on the school field. The College 1s were behind a bush having a barbecue so we avoided them cos we could see Mr B marching over in their direction. They had to move it but we did see him emerge carrying a plate and I’m sure he was still chewing! Anyway, I am now severely sunburnt. Oww!!

Grrr!! Jake rang me before and told me that he’s going to Julia Dennis’s party tonight with Connor cos my sister’s going and Connor doesn’t want to turn up on his own. He promises they’re only staying for half an hour and then he and Connor are going to the pub.

I don’t like the idea of him going at all though. I trust him but I DO NOT trust all the tarty little College 1 girls who are going to be there. Half an hour is long enough for them to fling themselves at him. Plus they’ll probably take great delight in telling me that he was there and asking where I was and they might even gossip that maybe we’ve split up. Bitches! Hang on, that might not happen…. stop thinking, Tessa!

Still, I don’t want him to go. He always comes to parties and out with my mates with me but do I ever get invited anywhere with him? No! He doesn’t even want me to see Radiant Dan (from his Canada trip) when he meets up with him. I’m beginning to get a bit paranoid! Maybe I’m really embarrassing or something?!?

I’m annoyed with him now cos he says he’s definitely going to Julia’s.

Hah! Jake’s sent me a message. It says, “I’M SORRY FOR UPSETTING YOU + HOPE I HAVEN’T MESSED UP YOUR REVISION! I’M IN BED NOW! WE WERE ONLY THERE FOR 40 MINS + NO GIRLS SPOKE TO ME! HOPE YOU’RE OK. I LOVE YOU LOTS + LOTS + LOTS + LOTS! FOREVER + EVER + EVER… AMEN! : ) GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR DECISION MAKING EXAM! NIGHT NIGHT! SWEET DREAMS! : ) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx”.

Ahh, sweet… but I’m not replying! I’ll let him think I’m still annoyed for a while and maybe it’ll teach him not to piss off to any parties without me!

Bye!