I had a hug off Dougie – 31st December 2000 to 1st January 2001

Sunday 31st to Monday 1st



Freda Fernandez had a New Year party at her house this year so most of my friends went there cos Freda’s parties are usually good! Everyone just got drunk and talked a lot and kissed a lot! Nothing majorly interesting happened but it was still good!

new year 01

[Here we are on the night.]

When Big Ben struck 12:00 and 2001 began, the first thing I did was kiss Jake and we wished each other happy new year. I had a hug off Dougie then which was a good follow up before everyone else started hugging me.

dougie new year 2001

[13 year old me would have swooned so much if she’d known she’d one day get a hug off Dougie.]

The party ended at about 2am and Jake stayed over at mine. I stayed in his bed for a while which was nice.

Jake and I didn’t do much during New Year’s Day. We got bored so went to the Trafford Centre for a bit but then came home and watched TV.

It was sooo nice having New Year with someone that I really love like this. It’s never happened before!


Dougie suggested that we should run away together – 15th & 17th January 2000

Saturday 15th Guess where I went tonight. Bloody LA Bowl again! I’m sick of the place! It was a bit better tonight cos more of us went. Dougie and I were both having a problem with same sex admirers though. Julian was after him and Freda is still after me. HELP!! Dougie suggested that we should run away together. Shame he wasn’t serious. Phwoar! He is sooo nice!

I also got looked up and down by some bloke. He was with a group who were all alright except him. He was manky looking with glasses. Just my luck!

Amir got my message last night while he was working at the pool with Lizzie. She told him that I’d been writing “I ♥ Amir 4eva + eva amen” on the whiteboard at school and she said he got a bit freaked out so she admitted I was only messing about.

Apparently he sent a message back last night saying, “I LOVE U 2” or something but I never got it so I sent one to him saying, “LIZZIE SAID U SENT ME A MESSAGE BUT I DIDN’T GET IT (sob sob!). NEVER MIND, I STILL WANT U! SORRY IF I’M FREAKING U OUT, IT’S JUST THAT I LOVE U SOOO MUCH! TESS x :)” It’s going to be embarrassing if I ever see him again!!

I did get a reply but it only said, “CAN’T TALK, ON MY WAY TO SMITHS”. It’s his equally minging mate Rick’s birthday so they were off out clubbing. I wonder if he got a snog. Lizzie said he’s always whinging  cos he’s only met [snogged] 2 people and it was ages ago. Aaaahh.


Monday 17th I’ve been texting Amir again today. I started it this morning by saying, “HELLO! HOW R U? I’M V.V.V.V. BORED SO I’M IN LOVE WITH U AGAIN! JUST THOUGHT I’D LET U KNOW. LOVE TESS xxxxxxxx”.

I wasn’t expecting it but I got a reply. It said quite simply, “I LUV U 2”. So, I sent another  saying, “DO U? GREAT!! R U BORED 2? I STILL HAVEN’T GO THAT MESSAGE U SENT ON FRI. WHAT DID IT SAY? LUV TESS xxx”. He replied saying, “I DECLARED MY UNDYING LUV 4 U! I’M V. BORED. NOT DONE MY COURSEWORK SO MY TEACHER WILL KILL ME!”

Lizzie said that the message I didn’t get said something like, “I love you 2 + I’m not under the influence of anything!” She was there when he wrote it.

The next message I sent to Amir said, “ HAVE U GOT ANY MATES THAT WANT TEXT SEX COS MY MATE SARAH IS A BIT DESPERATE?! SHE’S BORED 2. SHAME I NEVER GOT URE MESSAGE. LUV U! TESS xxx :)”. Sarah’d been moaning that she didn’t get many messages which is why I sent that one. Amir replied, “MY MATE BRETT WILL PROBLY TALK BUT WE’RE GOING TO OUR ORAL SESSION! SPEAK WITH U LATA. 07940 ******.” The number was his mate’s so I sent a daft message to it from Sarah’s phone.

I sent Amir a message later saying, “HAVE U FINISHED URE ORAL SESSION YET?! I’M STILL AT COLLEGE SO I’M STILL BORED SO I STILL LOVE U! LUV TESS xxxxx”. I didn’t get a reply to that one.

I got some daft message later from him and Brett (Lizzie’s ex) with loads of ‘i’s and ‘!’s and then, “SEND THIS TO 5 PEOPLE + U WILL BE LOVED BY THE 1 U LOVE IN THE YEAR 2000!” I didn’t send it to anyone because it’s a waste of bloody credit! In fact, I bet the phone companies started it just for that reason!

I made up another one of my poems before for Lizzie cos she didn’t know what to send to Gethin. It goes:-

Roses are red,
Cars have a horn,
You’re in denial,
But we know you watch porn.

I hope she doesn’t actually send it!

Recently, Lizzie’s been getting dodgy text messages from the Orange website. She found it out was Brett’s mate Rob (who was there on Bonfire Night) tonight cos he rang her asking to meet up and stuff.


I still had my tights on when I got home – 9th October 1999

[My friend, Cat, was the subject of the MAJOR GOSSIP and she has very bravely agreed to share her entire diary entries about said MAJOR GOSSIP so, for the next few posts, you’ll be getting her side of the story too…]

My Saturday 9th MAJOR GOSSIP!! Freda phoned me up this afternoon to sort out bowling tonight and she told me some of the things that had happened at this Natalie girl’s 18th last night.

One thing was that Dougie snogged this geekyish girl called Amanda Bryan in College 2. The other thing was that Cat Elliot lost her virginity. What’s going on? The world’s gone mad!!

I really can’t believe it about Cat. Freda said that Cat got really drunk and to start with was going after Dougie. Then later on she went off with a complete geek from College 2 called Chris something. Freda said that someone ran in and said 2 people were shagging outside so she went to see and it was Cat and Chris up against a fence.

She said they did it twice.

Freda also said he tried to put his hand up Cat’s top but she told him not to and he kept telling her she was beautiful.

The worst part is that they didn’t use any protection as far as people know. How can one of the cleverest girls I know be so stupid? I feel really sorry for her now. This is the girl who’s parents won’t even let her watch South Park!

Freda said she phoned Cat before but Cat couldn’t remember anything and had a panic attack when Freda told her what happened. Then she said, “What am I going to do? I’ll have to kill myself!”

Great, so Cat’s gone suicidal. That’s all we need. If she is pregnant then she probably would top herself. I’m worried about her now. I can’t even begin to imagine how she’s feeling now. It’s all so unexpected. Cat’s the last person I thought this’d happen to.

We went bowling this evening. There were loads of fit lads but nowt happened with any of them. There were 2 which I think had their eyes on Hayley and I but some other girls came along.

Big Touchy-Feely Creepy Paul has chosen his next victim – Lucy Jacobs. Yuk!

Hayley kept telling people I was her best mate. I felt like telling her to fuck off but I didn’t.

A fight broke out while we were there with a load of lads and the bouncer-type men chucked them out. They kept trying to come back in but then a big police van arrived and a few were taken away. [#Warrington]


Cat’s Saturday 9th


[Cat thinks this says: Fri late got pissed. Went with Chris. Will go sleep. Luv Cat]

Well, I just got such a shock, which will tell you a bit about last night; I don’t remember writing that!

(About 20 minutes later)
Oh my God. I thought THAT was a shock. Freda rang. She says everyone think I shagged Chris Kelly-Banks – twice!

I have to stay calm. I KNOW I did nothing of the sort, we just got off a few times (JUST kissed, touched etc).

I know that because, for a start, I’d KNOW if I’d done it, wouldn’t I, and also I remember telling him we weren’t going to have sex, and he said he didn’t intend to.

And thirdly, I still had my tights on when I got home, so if that isn’t proof, I don’t know what IS.

Trouble is, Freda’s told everyone in the WORLD. I’ll just have to try and play it cool.

This is so annoying. As long as he thinks the same thing as me, I should be ok. It’s going to be a long month of waiting though…

Oh, and by the way, as of today I am


(10:30pm ish)
Natalie came round to see if I was ok earlier, which was really nice of her considering she got off with Dougie last night and I was throwing myself at him all evening. She’s going around to Chris’s tomorrow to find out what he thinks happened, so that should help ease my mind. (I HOPE!!)

I’ve been praying most of the afternoon.

Oh, I forgot to mention before, but to add to my problems I’ve got to try and hid two huge, red lovebites on my neck.

Otherwise I’m surprising cheerful. Probably because I know I didn’t do what they think I did. Natalie fully believes I didn’t, so it can’t have been that clear cut.

Trying to get me to kiss it – 19th May 1998

Tuesday 19th More Ralph stuff today. Emma said she was going to explain to Ralph that I didn’t want to go with him coz it wouldn’t be fair as I still like Ferny but, stupidly, she told Freddie to tell him.

She thinks he just said that I like Ferny better than Ralph coz in their P.S.E. lesson, Ralph came up to her and basically said, “Well, stuff Tess!” until she told him what Freddie meant. He then started going on and asking Emma who else liked him so she asked him if the only reason he liked me was because he thought he had a chance. He said, “No, she’s alright.”

He also told Emma that I was ignoring him at lunch. Okay, so I was, but I didn’t really mean to. Just because I said no when he asked me to play cricket and whether I wanted some ice cream.

After school, Emma and I had to wait around for Ralph coz she’d nicked his pen and had to give it back. She’d been trying to get me to kiss it all through English but I wouldn’t so she told him I had done anyway. He followed us to the canteen where Emma was trying to get me to tell him I liked him. I wouldn’t. He then said that he and Freddie were coming down our way on Friday coz nobody can come to Bolton.


He thinks he’s some sort of god – 25th April 1998

Saturday 25th There were 10 of us who went to see ‘Hard Rain’ at the cinema tonight. There was me, Emma, Hayley, Dougie, Freddie, Ed, Olivia (it’s her birthday too), Lena and Jade Hancock. That’s only 9. Hang on. Oh yeah, Freda came too. Sorry Freda, how could I forget you!

[CRAP SPOILER ALERT!] The film was quite good. It was an edge-of-seat type. It was just people after some money so they were shooting each other and all the time the water was getting higher. It had Christian Slater as the main character who survived.

[Via Wikipedia]

[Via Wikipedia]

Dougie and Hayley were really pissing m off tonight. To start with they were kicking my seat (they were behind coz there weren’t enough seats in a row so we went 5 and 5) and stuff and I had a right go at Hayley. She was annoying me coz she was being so obvious with Dougie. She won’t let anyone else talk to him or walk next to him. She doesn’t own the poor guy!

He was getting on my nerves too though. He thinks he’s some sort of god. Ever since that Full Monty assembly his head’s been enlarging at an unbelievable rate! He thinks everyone fancies him. I think it was only Emma, Freddie and Ed that he didn’t put his arm round at some point. I nearly smacked him one in the gob when he did it to me but I managed to control my fists – just! [Whatever. I was more likely to fall into some sort of panicky swoon coma if any boy had put his arm round me, never mind Dougie.]

Apparently I was annoying Dougie too. It’s probably coz I was taking the mick out of him sleeping at Ed’s tonight.

Emma reckons I was really flirting with Ralph on the phone last night and he was with me too. She says it’s so obvious that we fancy each other. She and Freddie keep taking the mick out of me by saying something like, “Look Tess!” every time they see ginger hair!

Emma, Freddie and Hayley are threatening to turn up here tomorrow. They said it was really good last time and so did Ralph. I don’t know what’s so special about it myself.

I’m sort of neutral – 21st April 1998

Tuesday 21st Hayley and Emma have had a slight disagreement over something stupid. They’re always doing it (although Hayley usually starts it off because Emma’s done or said something she doesn’t approve of) and because I’m sort of neutral, I always end up with both sides of the story.

I don’t actually mind that bit coz I like to know what’s going on, it’s just when they both try and get me to agree with them it gets awkward. If I disagree then she won’t speak to me and will think I’m siding with the other one and if I do agree and the other one gets to hear about it then she’ll think I’m going against her.

It all gets a bit complicated sometimes so I have to watch carefully what I say to each of them coz sometimes I can see it all being turned round on me. I’ve been lucky so far. I think.

Everyone’s getting sick of Hayley at the moment coz she keeps going on and on about Dougie coz she fancies him so much. We all think she’s convinced herself he likes her (I can’t really complain coz I’ve done that before now) and if summit happens to prove otherwise then we know we’ll have to put up with her depression and whinging all the time.

Dougie has himself told me and Thornley to tell her that he just wants to be friends but he doesn’t do himself much good considering things like when he was playing tennis with her in P.E. and stuff.

P.E. was quite funny actually. Because it’s our last full summer term in school, the P.E. staff said we could choose either badminton, tennis, cricket or rounders. Most people went for the first two but Ferny was sat on his own in the cricket section. I felt really sorry for him coz all his mates had deserted him but I thought he was brave to do what he wanted and not follow his mates like I have have done. Other lads did change their minds and join him eventually.


I might never get married. Who knows?! – 20th April 1998

Monday 20th P. [Period.]

It’s scary how fast time seems to be going at the moment. It hardly seems any time at all since I first started school in Year 7 and now I’m in Year 10 and more than half way through. It seems ages away until my major GCSE exams but everything is going so quickly.

Back at school today. Back to normal. Normal shouldn’t be being at school but term time is the way it is more than anything else and it’s the routine I’ve got used to. I’d rather we had more holidays, even with the boring bits.

That’s one advantage about school – I never seem to get bored. I mean, I don’t like some of the lessons much but I’m always doing something. Then at lunch and break I can catch up on all the gossip or watch Ralph and co playing sad little ball games on the tennis courts.

I suppose if we didn’t have school then I would never have known Ralph or Ferny or most of my other mates existed. I often think things like that.

Also, I think that there is probably somebody wandering round the earth somewhere that I’ve never met that I could end up marrying. But then again, I might die before I get old enough or (on a more cheerful note) I might already know him (actually, that’s a bit more scary than cheerful) or I might never get married. Who knows?!

It’s weird when I think like that. I have no idea what’s going to happen to me in the future and how I will die. That’s a weird one coz you know it’s going to happen but you don’t know when or how.

Okay, I’ve got into all my deep thinking again. Stop it, Tess!

[And I did stop it. Immediately. Here we go, straight back into the shallow end…]

Ferny looked so nice today when he was crossing the road after school. His parents were late picking him and his sis up and she legged it across and left him for a minute. It was cold and he had really pink cheeks and his hair had all blown out of place.

I’ve been told by Emma to stick to Ralph though coz I know him better and have more chance. If only he wasn’t such a minger or prat. Ah, he’s not that bad really. People keep asking if I’m going out with Ralph. It’s really winding me up. It’s embarrassing too coz everyone seems to know that I fancy him. I’ve not told them so who has?

Finally, Dougie’s had his hair cut. It looks so much better than that gelled, greasy-looking mop that it was before! I could almost have fancied him again when we were with him in C Block at lunch but I’m not going to let myself get into that again. I’ll stick to Ralph and Ferny for the time being.


P.S. It was funny after lunch. Ralph was just in front of me and Emma and just as he was walking out of B Block, he turned round, looked annoyed and walked back yelling, “Geroff!” to someone. I looked down and noticed that someone had got hold of the elastic on his coat and walked off in the opposite direction with it. He noticed me and Emma laughing at him and went all red and said, “I bet that was you, Thornley.” I felt really sorry for him actually.

Sticking the poppers on our coats together – 9th April 1998

Thursday 9th I hate it when you get days like today where there’s nothing much to do and you’re bored coz it just seems like a waste of holiday.

Emma was fed up too so I went round to her house and we mostly just watched TV and talked about Camelot. She and Freddie reckon that Ralph fancies me and I can’t really say that I couldn’t possibly agree with them because, judging from yesterday, I could.

It was just little things he did or said that they and I noticed:

  • the end of the Tower of Terror when I banged my head
  • the top of the Pendragon thing when he didn’t make any fuss about sitting with me when normally he would
  • the hands on my shoulders at the log flume
  • trying to get me to go on the dark ride again
  • sticking the poppers on our coats together in the queue for Venom
  • sticking up for me with the log flume thing when Dougie and Ed were taking the piss

I found out the full story of the log flume today coz Emma brought it up saying that he liked me. We were trying to get all 6 of us on one so Dougie said to try and make the group look smaller. He told Ralph to do to me when Freddie was doing to Emma. I couldn’t see what that was but Dougie put Ralph’s hands on my shoulders. That was the point when I started paying attention and thought, “Oh heck, that’s happening?!”

Emma said that Ralph looked round at everyone with a what’s-he-up-to look on his face. Emma thought he’d pull away from me but he surprised them all and didn’t. Then Ed and Dougie started saying, “Let’s all hold on to Tess!” and were grabbing hold of me. I was telling them to geroff and Ralph started going, “Stop it, you’re scaring her.” AS IF! It was nice of him to stick up for me though.

Emma keeps saying that I should go out with him but I don’t know what I’d say if he asked me.

I wasn’t sure how to react so I didn’t – 8th April 1998

Wednesday 8th At about 7:30 this morning, my mum came to wake me up and she told me that Hayley had just phoned saying that she couldn’t come to Camelot coz she was ill. That woke me up coz I started panicking, thinking that I was going to get stuck with Dougie, Ed and Ralph while Emma and Freddie went off together. The only advantage of Hayley not coming was that there was an even number of us.

I got to Emma’s for 8:30am (still worrying) and Dougie was already there, sat at the computer. He didn’t seem at all bothered that Hayley wasn’t coming just because she’d be hanging off him all day. Ed arrived and we set off for Ralph’s, picking Freddie up on the way through his village.

It’s a good job Freddie was there really coz no-one else knew where abouts Ralph lived. (It’s 1 Royston Lane by the way.) We weren’t sure which house he was in coz he’s in one further up the street a lot for some reason. He was in his house though. There was a grey dog there, one of the Weimaraner things I think. It looked a bit vicious but it was nice enough when we went in the house.

Ralph’s always talking about his twin brothers and how he has to babysit for them but I thought they were about 7, not 2. They are so cute. They’re called Richie and Henry and Ralph’s really good with them both. They came in the minibus with us when his mum took us to Camelot. She seemed okay too, called Dee I think. I was sat with Dougie who spread himself out and he was really annoying me. [Once upon a time I’d have killed to sit next to Dougie, manspreading or no manspreading.]

It was absolutely pouring down as we arrived and kept hailing as well. We got into Camelot and headed straight for the big rides. I gave the impression that I’d been on them before but I hadn’t. I sat with Ralph on everything but I didn’t mind and I don’t think he was all that bothered.

On the Tower of Terror, I banged my head on the seat when the ride jerked to a halt. He was being dead nice and was rubbing it and saying, “You alright, Tess?” I thought that was really sweet.

We went on just about everything and watched the jousting at 12:30. Ralph gave one of the knights his umbrella and just after he managed to get it back, he lost it again.

Overall, I went on Excalibur 10 or 11 times. The staff just let us stay on coz there were hardly any queues because of the shite weather. Everyone else except me and Ralph only went on it about 7 times but they wanted to go on the T.O.T. so we stayed on.

He can be really nice when he’s on his own with me. The bar things on Excalibur were really tight and he kept saying that he wouldn’t ever get the chance to be a father if he went on much more! There was this girl who was about 10 and she was sat behind us and started saying she was going to be sick. Horrible visions were rushing through my mind but Ralph was being really sympathetic and kept asking her if she was going to be okay and offered to sit next to her at one point.

When we met up with the others they were just purely taking the piss and teasing us. Emma said that Freddie reckons me and Ralph are together now and Ed kept telling me to just ask him out. No way! Far too embarrassing!

On Pendragon’s Plunge [I’m enjoying the names of these rides.] we were saying the pairs and Emma said to Ralph something about him not being bothered about going on with me. It’s true, he wasn’t complaining! Also on the Black Knight’s Revenge (it’s dark) Ralph was trying to get me to go on again with him, even though he said it was crap. And, in the queue for the log flume, someone mentioned about trying to sneak 6 people on (me being the 6th) and Ralph was stood there for ages with his hands on my shoulders for some reason. I wasn’t sure how to react so I didn’t. He let go when Dougie and Ed took the mick.

Ralph also knows where I live now and there’s a possibility that I could walk part way home from school with him after the hols.

I was winding Freddie up well badly about Davis today, telling him we were meeting him there instead of Hayley. He was getting really sick of me. It was so funny!


Gee, what a great time we’re gonna have, hey! NOT! – 4th March 1998

Wednesday 4th I was very embarrassed in P.E. today. We were doing orienteering around the school grounds and because there were the usual 6 girls and only 6 of the lads doing it, Mr B paired us up. I didn’t do too badly and ended up with Pallav who was okay.

The embarrassing bit was when we were running across the mud and I skidded miles and fell over. I was covered in mud all down my right side. It was quite funny at the time and Pallav just laughed, it was afterwards that it was embarrassing coz I realised that all the Year 11s had English and probably all saw me. Jez (who wasn’t doing it) and some of the teachers laughed too when I went back inside to look at the map.

I was really pissed off before coz me and Emma have been trying to sort out an ice skating trip on Friday coz we have an inset day and it should be quiet. The thing is, all the wrong people are coming like Lindsey (Stupid bitch!) Bullman and Jade Hancock have decided to come and we don’t really want them to. To add to that, Freddie and Dougie can’t come.

[Lindsey (Stupid bitch!) Bullman]

Gee, what a great time we’re gonna have, hey! NOT!

Mind you. Dougie cheered me and Emma up a bit tonight when he phoned Emma to tell her he could come to the cinema. He cheered Emma up by saying that Freddie had been looking forward to the cinema and ice skating so it was probably his mum that wouldn’t let him go. He cheered me up by saying he might ask Jez and Ferny to come tomorrow to the cinema. I bet they don’t but there’s hope yet!

He gave us both a good laugh when he told us why Freddie’s mum was so annoyed with him. Evidently, after the cinema on Friday, Freddie’s mum had waited for him at the bus station ‘til about 1:00am because he forgot to tell her he was getting a lift home with Dougie!