I found a whole new thing to worry about. Geography. – 6th June 2001

Wednesday 6th Now I’ve got those 3 biology exams over with I was pretty pleased but this morning I found a whole new thing to worry about. Geography.

I was sorting out my geography folder and suddenly realised exactly how much I’m going to have to revise. The trouble is that between the time I was taught it and now, I’ve forgotten everything and therefore will have to revise all of it properly. What doesn’t help is the fact that I didn’t understand any of it in the first place! I’ve only got until next Friday to learn and understand it all, plus a Health & Disease topic for biology, the exam I have also got next Friday. I am so buggered!

Had to go to the dentist today but instead of dreading it (even though my teeth are fine), I actually didn’t mind going because it meant a break from panic revision.

I saw Jake this evening. We didn’t do much really because it’s started raining and there aren’t any buses that go anywhere interesting cheaply and the football was on. England beat Greece 2-0. Yey! The Greek team had loads of really good names though compared to our lot!

Hah! My sister’s boyfriend got his car back (after crashing it) today but it’s come back with the wrong registration number on the front. A 6 has been replaced by an 8 so it’s got to go back in to be changed tomorrow before Connor gets arrested or something!

Bye!

It wasn’t too bad in isolation – 5th June 2001

Tuesday 5th I was actually quite pleasantly surprised by the Ecology & Physiology resit biology papers today but the Continuity of Life paper (which I haven’t got any form of grade in and need to) was a bit of a disaster. I revised it pretty hard but nothing from my notes seemed to fit in as the answers to the questions. Bollocks! I really need a grade.

I had bloody Cat sat next to me moaning cos she thought she’s going to get a B. Stupid cow! There’s the rest of us who’ll be ecstatic if we get a D and she’s going to probably throw herself off college of she doesn’t get the top grade! Grrr!

I only had Physiology this morning which was an hour and half long so I had to sit in isolation with Rachael Hollins for 2 and a half hours to stop us talking to people who had it in the afternoon. You’d have thought the exam board would realise people do resits and not put 4 biology exams in one afternoon.

It wasn’t too bad in isolation. We just sat and talked and slagged off twisted bitch Hayley and ate. It was a bit boring after a while though but at least I wasn’t on my own.

Yey! Robbie Taylor passed his driving test today with only 4 minor faults. That means they’re getting a car on Sunday.

I went in the new college block after my exam. It’s really hot and white and smells new. It’s really ugly from the outside but quite nice inside.

I met Jake at about 4:30 outside college and we walked back to my house. We didn’t do all that much except watch TV and cuddle. Mmm! 🙂

Bye!

Crap, crap, crap! – 4th June 2001

Monday 4th AAARRGGHHH!!!!! I’ve got one day (ONE DAY!!!) to go until 3 biology exams. No actually, it’s not even a day because they’re all tomorrow. Crap, crap, crap! I know nothing! I’ve been staring at my notes but none of the info is sticking in my brain. This is not good.

My problem is that I don’t panic about exams (until the day before when my brain is void of all biology) so I don’t revise until the last minute. Shit. I’m never going to pass.

I’ve worked out that from the 4 modules I’ve already done (2 of which I’m resitting tomorrow), I’ve got  marks which means I’ve already got an N (i.e. I’ve got no grade but almost an E → N = Near miss). So, to get an E I need 28 marks out of the 2 modules I’ve not done yet. However, I really need a D or more to get the 14 points I need to get into uni but for a D I need 88 marks. Not going to happen.

If I get an E in biology, I could really do with a B in geography but to get that I need 114 marks from the modules this summer. Ha ha!! No chance!

Oh God! I’m going to end up getting stuck working in Little Chef or something with Mr L. Nooooooo!!!

Abby had a maths tutoring thing near Birchwood at 5:15pm so Mum dropped me, Mollie and Jake off for a walk round Risley Moss (I’ve not been there since I did orienteering at GCSE for P.E.!). We saw rabbits which Mollie took great pleasure in chasing and a jay. It was really nice actually cos there was nobody there. We went into the big tower bird hide thing and Mollie came too. I didn’t even realise the area of land it looks over existed. There aren’t many places round Birchwood now that don’t have rabbit warren-style housing estates and business parks on them actually.

Bye!

[I was back at Risley Moss for a work day in February this year…]

Risley Moss

I DO NOT trust all the tarty little College 1 girls – 24th May 2001

Thursday 24th I failed my 2nd exam this morning. It was General Studies again, only this time the paper had French, some strange comprehension thing on weather (which I should’ve known from Geography but didn’t), a choice of essay (I wrote one about “fragile Earth” or something), a case study about education and another section I think but I can’t remember what it was on.

There’s no way I could’ve passed it cos I didn’t know any of the answers and I couldn’t see Cat’s paper quite as well today, plus I ran out of time because there was so much to read through.

After the exam, a big group of us went and sat on the school field. The College 1s were behind a bush having a barbecue so we avoided them cos we could see Mr B marching over in their direction. They had to move it but we did see him emerge carrying a plate and I’m sure he was still chewing! Anyway, I am now severely sunburnt. Oww!!

Grrr!! Jake rang me before and told me that he’s going to Julia Dennis’s party tonight with Connor cos my sister’s going and Connor doesn’t want to turn up on his own. He promises they’re only staying for half an hour and then he and Connor are going to the pub.

I don’t like the idea of him going at all though. I trust him but I DO NOT trust all the tarty little College 1 girls who are going to be there. Half an hour is long enough for them to fling themselves at him. Plus they’ll probably take great delight in telling me that he was there and asking where I was and they might even gossip that maybe we’ve split up. Bitches! Hang on, that might not happen…. stop thinking, Tessa!

Still, I don’t want him to go. He always comes to parties and out with my mates with me but do I ever get invited anywhere with him? No! He doesn’t even want me to see Radiant Dan (from his Canada trip) when he meets up with him. I’m beginning to get a bit paranoid! Maybe I’m really embarrassing or something?!?

I’m annoyed with him now cos he says he’s definitely going to Julia’s.

Hah! Jake’s sent me a message. It says, “I’M SORRY FOR UPSETTING YOU + HOPE I HAVEN’T MESSED UP YOUR REVISION! I’M IN BED NOW! WE WERE ONLY THERE FOR 40 MINS + NO GIRLS SPOKE TO ME! HOPE YOU’RE OK. I LOVE YOU LOTS + LOTS + LOTS + LOTS! FOREVER + EVER + EVER… AMEN! : ) GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR DECISION MAKING EXAM! NIGHT NIGHT! SWEET DREAMS! : ) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx”.

Ahh, sweet… but I’m not replying! I’ll let him think I’m still annoyed for a while and maybe it’ll teach him not to piss off to any parties without me!

Bye!

There was a solid section on maths (all of which I guessed) – 22nd & 23rd May 2001

Tuesday 22nd I did no revision today and saw Jake for a couple of hours before he went to Venture Scouts.

Bye!

Wednesday 23rd Well, that’s my first exam failed. I had a General Studies paper this afternoon and it wasn’t much fun. I had to write 2 essays: one on tourism and how it has both advantages and disadvantages, and one on why the popularity of cinemas has increased.

Then there was a solid section on maths (all of which I guessed), a bit on X-rays which was kind of a comprehension exercise thing, and then a general knowledge part. I knew Louis Armstrong played the trumpet but that was about it. Actually, I had Cat sat next to me (she’s very clever!) so if she got the answers on the side of the table nearest to me right (it was multiple choice) then maybe I got a few more right. Hee hee! 🙂

Ugh, the College 1s have taken over E7 which was our common room. They’ve completely changed it by putting wheel trims and road signs they’ve found/stolen all over the place. However, when they all went and sat on the field at lunch, me and the rest of us that used to live in E7 got some paint and put our handprints on the wall. I put TS and a 🙂 next to my one.

Jake came to meet me after my exam and stayed at my house for a bit.

Bye!

Trust me to have a thick week – 1st March 2001

Thursday 1st
5 weeks to go!

Well, I spent another 3 hours this afternoon failing 2 more Biology exams. 😦 Trust me to have a thick week when I’ve got exams! They were both really hard, I thought. The resit was again a bit harder and the problem is that I was only one mark from failing the first time round so I need to do much better. I’ll be extremely surprised if I have.

Jake phoned at about 7:05pm today cos he knew my exams went on quite late after college so I wouldn’t be home for 4:30pm. He told me that there’s a chance he might be coming home a week early because it’s not snowed much where he’s skiing and the weather’s beginning to warm up so what snow there is already could melt. He said that most other people would stay anyway and just not ski but he’d rather come home. 🙂 He told me that it would cost money to come home early but it’d probably be cheaper to come home than stay an extra week.

He’s started a first aid course tonight so he won’t be able to email me tonight or tomorrow night unfortunately.

I got a bit upset tonight cos I’ve begun to worry about this weird thing that made my arm and legs go numb. It’s just that I was trying to talk to Mum about it to get it off my chest but she just got annoyed with me and told me I was being daft worrying.

Bye!01-03-01 Jake email01-03-01 Tess email

Today’s emails →

Telling “lies” about him and college girls – 26th February 2001

Monday 26th
5 weeks + 3 days to go!

I had to go back to college again today. All the ski trip people were going on about skiing. Declan filled Cat and me in on the whole Mr L thing though!

Jacqueline and Kim had been talking in the toilets about Mr L getting off with college students. Mrs L was in one of the cubicles and even though Jac was telling Kim to shut up, Kim carried on talking. Mrs L came out, called them silly little whores and asked if they got off on gossip and stuff, before going and reporting them to the teachers.

Meanwhile, Jac and Kim had wandered back to their friends (which included my sister) so when Mr L found them, he yelled at them all. He was calling them all sorts of names and even threatened to get them expelled. He kept saying how they could ruin his life and career by telling “lies” about him and college girls.

Later on, he sent Declan to his room (he’d been part of the group he yelled at) but Declan sneaked back into the bar. Mr L caught him drinking tequila slammers and told him to go to Mr C’s (the headteacher) office with his parents on Monday morning. He couldn’t have been serious cos Mr L would’ve had to explain everything to Mr C, so Declan ignored the threat.

Kim was made to apologise to Mr L, even though they both knew full well how true everything Kim said is! Mr L was saying how hurt he was and was apparently nearly crying. Prick!

Even Mr P-K (his mate) has fallen out with him, saying he’s been digging his own grave. He must suspect there’s some truth in it at least. Miss P thinks it’s all a load of “bullshit”, as do most other people.

Mrs L yelled at Mr L. Ha ha ha!!!

This has the potential to get very interesting now everyone’s back in school!

Jake didn’t ring me at 4pm. I started to worry because after last night he promised he wouldn’t do it again. I hate the feeling I get when he doesn’t phone. It’s horrible! I had to revise for my Biology exams tomorrow but I couldn’t concentrate at all.

I worry myself into a total state and it’s so horrible. I couldn’t stop crying like last night. It’s partly worry but partly annoyance for making me feel like that. I also get kind of annoyed with myself for getting like I do but I can’t help it. I do try to think positive and calm down but there’s always that awful feeling of dread in my stomach. I just don’t know what I’d do if something did happen to him but then it’s the not knowing that makes me feel so bad.

Anyway, I decided I couldn’t just sit about worrying cos I’d get no revision done so I phoned the number for his hotel from my mobile cos I had loads of credit. I didn’t think it’d work but it did. I just asked the woman if she could put me through to room 207 and she did. It only rang twice though then went silent then cut off. I tried a second time and the same thing happened.

At about 5:15pm I tried for a 3rd time. This time (to my surprise!) it worked. It was his roommate Rob who answered the phone but I had to ask who it was cos I wasn’t sure! I asked if Jake was there and he called him over. I really wasn’t expecting him to be there cos he said he was skiing. I didn’t want him to think I’d been worrying cos by this time I felt stupid for doing so and getting all worked up. I lied and said I was just ringing on the off-chance he’d be there to tell him not to ring (if he hadn’t already) cos I wasn’t going to be home for another half hour!

He said he had only just got up. He asked if I’d phoned twice before and I said I had and he explained that they tried to answer it but it probably wasn’t working cos during a food fight last night, a drink got spilt on it or something.

By the time I’d put the phone down I felt really stupid for worrying cos him not getting up was one of the things I’d been trying to convince myself of. I was also annoyed with him for putting me through that for a 2nd night running. I mean, I know I can’t expect him to ring me every day but when he stresses he will and wants to then doesn’t, that’s when I worry cos it’s not like him to break his word!

Jake phoned me back at about 6:40pm. He apologised for not phoning when he said and told me he didn’t know no-one was going skiing today. He told me he’ll ring at about 4:45pm tomorrow and that if one day he doesn’t ring at 4:30ish (before he gets the bus), he’ll ring between 7 & 8pm from Lake Louise when he has lunch.

The thing is, now he’s not rung a few times when he said he will, maybe I won’t worry as much if that happens in the future. Hopefully I won’t have to find out though! I don’t like having to worry and I do try hard not to cos Mum and people keep saying I’m pathetic but if someone you care about is so far away, wouldn’t you worry too in the same situation?

Bye!

P.S. I’ve had a slight throbbing feeling in my legs again like I did a while ago and on my left foot some of my toes and the ball of my foot feel a bit numb.

Today’s emails →

26-02-01 Jake email26-02-01 Tess email

It’s all VERY dodgy!! – 22nd February 2001

Thursday 22nd
6 weeks to go!

Jake’s half way through his Canada trip now. I really want him to come home though because I’m REALLY REALLY missing him!!! 😦

I really should have been revising for my Biology exams next week today but instead I went with Mum to pick the car up from Warrington where it was being serviced. We had to go on the bus and there were a load of scally lads that used to be in my year on it. They didn’t do or say anything to me but they were sat behind us and made me feel really uncomfortable!

Not surprisingly, the car wasn’t ready when we got there so Mum and I went for a look around Matalan for half an hour. We went back to the car place and they finally said it was ready! We then went for a look round Ikea but not for long cos it was really busy. Mum then made me go in this new bathroom place so she could see if they had any good ideas that we could use in our bathroom. That didn’t take very long cos it was smaller than we thought.

On the way home, we went to have a look round the show homes that have been built on the old mental hospital site. One of them was really nice but the others had all the rooms in weird places e.g. the master bedroom opposite the living room.

I did do a bit of revision when I got home and then Jake phoned at about 7:15pm. He couldn’t stay on for very long though cos he started his assessment today and only had half an hour for lunch.

My sister phoned up tonight from France in floods of tears because of Mr L, a history teacher. Mum said she wasn’t making much sense but basically Jacqueline Robson and Katya W (out of my sister’s year) had been talking in the toilets about Mr L having flings with college students and Mrs L overheard them and told all the teachers that they were trouble making.

Mr L then went off his head at all the college girls and said they can’t go skiing tomorrow, including Abby which is why she was so upset cos she wasn’t really involved. It’ll probably get sorted out though.

The thing is that it’s totally true about Mr L. He’s slept with a girl called Donna Sharpe in College 1 and has been trying to get my mate Cat to do the same but she won’t. She’s snogged him and I think their hands have wandered though! I found it a bit hard to believe at first but Cat’s not the type to lie, plus I’ve seen the emails he’s sent her and he’s phoned her too. Some of my other friends have heard a voicemail message he left on Donna’s phone too. It’s all VERY dodgy!!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

22-02-01 Jake email22-02-01 Tess email

His mate Jonny says I look horny – 15th February 2001

Thursday 15th
7 weeks to go!

I was just about to check my email in college this morning when all the computers went off. It turned out there was a power cut in the village and we were told that we might get sent home cos it was a potential fire hazard. However, the fire alarms were working unfortunately so we had to go to lessons.

At break I tried to read my email again but the internet was down all over school! I eventually got onto Hotmail at lunch but then it cut off my email halfway down for some reason! I then had to wait until I got home before I could read it properly.

Jake had attached lots of photos he’d scanned in to the email of him and his friends. He does look different but I’m not sure why.

He phoned me tonight at about 4:40pm. He said nothing much has happened there except he’s really pleased with himself cos he taught some people to ski properly. He also told me that the girl who they thought broke her neck was on the front page of the local paper and that she’s still in hospital and it was her helmet that saved her.

He also told me not to worry about one of the girls on one of the photos cos it looks like she’s close to him but she wasn’t apparently and she’s a slag and sleeps with all the Canadian blokes and has got pneumonia. Jake said they all reckon it’s cos of all the “stuff” she’s swallowed! Surely she’d have to inhale, not swallow!

We got talking about diaries and he reckons it’s dead cute that I keep one and he wished he did! He also said that he wouldn’t want to read it cos he’d get jealous! He said he even got jealous when he found out I stuck a sweet packet in my diary that Dougie gave me when I was about 13! I’m quite flattered really!

I went to The Coach and Horses with a few people tonight cos not everyone can go out tomorrow night. I sent Michael Amhurst a text message to find out if he got the photo I sent him that I took when he was here. His reply said, “I’M FINE + U? NO PHOTO BUT I’VE NOT BEEN HOME! IT’LL BE WAITING! I’VE GOT THE OTHER PIC ON MY WALL + THE PERSON ON THE RIGHT HAS BEEN GETTING A LOT OF ATTENTION!”

The picture he meant was the one of me, Hayley and Isaac that we sent in a Xmas card to him. I couldn’t remember who was on the right so I asked him and he told me that it was me and that he meant that his mate Jonny says I look horny apparently!

Michael’s probably going to meet up with us sometime next week cos we’re all on school holidays.

Bye!

Today’s emails →

15-02-01 Jake email15-02-01 Tess email

I’ll have to have a disciplinary meeting – 3rd to 5th December 2000

Sunday 3rd I saw Jake this evening. We didn’t do much really. He told me he can see me ending up as a teacher and making a good mum! It was just cos I had that ‘Do your ears hang low?’ song stuck in my head so I kept singing it!

Bye!

Monday 4th The mock exams started today and I have to go to learning support to do mine because of my hand so I don’t sit in the exam hall. I don’t mind though. I had a laptop if I needed it and get extra time and rest breaks if I want.

I finally got round to ringing The Green Dragon to say I can’t work over Christmas cos I’m going on holiday. (I’m not really, I just want to see Jake as much as I can before he goes to Canada!) I had to speak to Martin the manager (twat!) and he said he can’t allow me to do that so I’ll have to have a disciplinary meeting. I told him it’s tough and there’s nothing I can do about it, so fine!

Hah, they can all go fuck themselves, I’m not going back there again! I hate the place!

I’ve bought a new phone. It’s a Sagem Vodafone one and it’s sooo nice!

Bye!

Wednesday 6th I handed in my resignation at The Green Dragon! It’s put me in such a good mood! I handed in a doctor’s note about my hand too so I don’t have to work the rest of the week.

Went to The Coach and Horses quiz again. It was better than last time cos people were there. We all went back to Floyd’s after too.

Bye!