It’s about time someone lamped her one – 18th May 2001

Thursday 18th

I’VE OFFICIALLY LEFT COLLEGE!!!

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Well, for study leave anyway but it means no more lessons! Unfortunately, however, exams take over from next Wednesday onwards. Oh joy.

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Our head of college, Mr H, is also leaving that post and is just going to teach instead so before he arrive this morning, we filled his office with balloons, tied his car up with string and stuck posters of him up round college which Gethin had made by adapting a photo of him on the computer by, for example, giving him hair!

Mr H

We had one last assembly by which time many people were pretty pissed, before all leaving and going to The Coach & Horses.

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[Being pissed in assembly possibly had something to do with the bottle of absinthe we’d got hold of.]

We didn’t stay there long though cos Rob S said he would “do” Sarah if she was up for it and she got scared (I don’t blame her!) so we went to The Beech Tree instead.

I found out from Rachael Hollins today some news which I was quite pleased to hear. Recently, Hayley Pearson’s been being a complete bitch towards her for no particular reason (she’s just like that) and last night Rach was at McDonald’s while Hayley was there. Hayley started yelling at Rach, saying she had no right to be there and stuff cos they’ve got this ‘Medway Crew’ thing (a group of them sit on Medway Road where Carly Jennings lives who Freda fancies – SAD!!) which Rach isn’t involved with.

Rach was taking it from Hayley but Georgia Dean was telling Hayley to shut up. Hayley didn’t so Georgia turned round and punched her!! Nice one! Apparently Hayley unsuccessfully tried to him her back but ended up running and hiding in the car instead!

Rach, Georgia and Georgia’s dad then went round to Hayley’s to apologise but her mum wouldn’t let Rach in for some reason so who knows what lies Hayley told her parents about what happened cos Rach didn’t do anything. I feel really sorry for Rach actually cos she was making an effort to speak to Hayley today but Hayley shoved her out of the way.I mean, there might well be another side to it all that I haven’t heard but if Hayley’s involved, I very much doubt it. I know exactly how pathetic she can be which is why I am no longer friends with her. It’s about time someone lamped her one actually! Well done, Georgia!! 🙂 Most people from college ended up in The Beech and Jake came to join us too eventually.

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This evening we went into Warrington to continue our celebrations! We started off in Edison’s then moved to Churchill’s and then Tiger Too before ending up in Mr Smith’s.I painted Denny’s face and when I got my mirror out to show him, I noticed it was broken. Oh no! I don’t want any bad luck! Jake didn’t exactly make me feel better by telling me his mum broke a big mirror in France and then each year someone in the family died and then on the 7th year she did.

That’s awful but surely it would’ve happened anyway? I suppose people never know. If a bad thing happens after you break a mirror/walk under a ladder etc., anything bad that happens you relate back to that but if it happened anyway, you wouldn’t think anything about why it happened, I suppose. Well, not as much anyway.

During the time we were in Smith’s I spent more of it sat on the chairs with everyone’s bags and Jake because he won’t even dance. At one point, this girl with longish red hair scraped back into a ponytail with huge loop earrings came and sat down by us. Her mate was dancing next to her.

I thought it was a bit off so I took in what she looked like. She put her drink on the table and started fiddling about with her hands behind her back. I thought she must just have been trying to sort her knickers out by when she stood up, I noticed a rectangular lump on her side.When I looked back at the seat, Emma Thornley’s bag was where the girl had been sat. I checked it and, as suspected, it was open. All that was in it was her phone and camera. I went to get Emma from the dancefloor, just to check if she had her purse with her. She didn’t and came and checked her bag. There was nothing else gone.

Emma wandered off and dragged me with her. She told me to point out the girl and I spotted her at the bar. Emma stupidly (but also drunkenly!) went up to her and actually asked if she’d nicked her purse! However, her mate got all threatening so we both legged it to one of the bouncers.

We told him what had happened and he made me walk in front of him and point the girl out if I saw her. She’d gone from the bar so I told him what she looked like and he saw her going into the toilets. He went in and got her and I ran back to Emma. The woman bouncer searched the girl but didn’t find the purse on her. She must’ve given it to her mate.Unfortunately they couldn’t chuck the ginger bitch out so Emma and I started wetting ourselves that we were going to get battered. The bouncer said that at the 1st sign of trouble to get him and he’d make sure she was thrown out straight away. We weren’t totally convinced that we’d survive the night though so we did what he said and checked the toilets and office for an empty purse before getting Jake and leaving.

The next problem we had was that the ticket for Emma’s coat was in her purse. The bouncer went and got the manager who got the cloakroom lady to find Emma’s coat. Luckily she did.Emma did said that she’d rather her purse had been stolen than her phone because it only had £15 in it and her debit card and she said she’s only got about £2 in her account!

When Jake and I got back to my house, I suddenly discovered that he was really quite pissed! I went upstairs to tell Mum I was home and by the time I went back in the kitchen, he’d managed to spill a glass of water and spread butter EVERYWHERE in an attempt at making toast! When I asked what he’s been doing he just swayed and giggled at me!

Hugo rang Jake at one point but because he was incapable of answering his phone, I ended up speaking to Hugo. I’ve not done that for a while but he was actually quite nice to me! However, I’m sure he took pleasure in telling me that Jake’s brother said he’s glad I’ve left college so he doesn’t have to look at my ugly face anymore. Charming! Twat.

Ha ha!! Hugo said he wants me and Jake to go out one day with him and his girlfriend thing, Katie. I think not! I might be able to cope with talking on the phone but actually seeing him in the flesh again might be a bit too much!

Ahh, during the time Jake spent coating the kitchen in butter and lying flat out on the dining room floor, he told me that I’m beautiful and that he loves me. 🙂 That makes up nicely for his brother’s statement to Hugo.

Bye!

Just face the fact he’s a complete twat! – 16th & 17th May 2001

Wednesday 16th I got hold of Jake eventually this morning when he decided to switch his phone on and we both apologised.

The gorgeous Mr P-K took our Sports Studies group to The Coach and Horses pub for our last lesson with him today. He bought us 2 bags of Quavers and a bag of peanuts between me, Lizzie and Maeve too. That’s got to have been the best lesson ever!!

I saw Jake after college today and we made up properly. 🙂 He kept looking at me and saying I’m pretty and he loves me and stuff!

Jake was telling me how for the last couple of weeks he’s been getting anonymous phone calls and whoever it is hangs up when he answers. That eliminates Hugo then cos he talks to him non-stop! It’s probably some sad little girl (one of the many!) who fancies/stalks him and they’ll have got his number from somewhere.

Jake also told me that he had my mobile number before we got together because he’d been getting weird stalkerish messages and asked Gethin if he had anyone’s number that he hadn’t checked already and mine was one of them! He said if I hadn’t have gone to the party where we met, he’d probably have texted me to let me know he liked me. I would never have believed it though and would’ve thought either he or someone else was just winding me up!

It turned out the messages were from the lad next door to Charlie Wilson (one of his mates) who’d got him to send messages as a joke! Strange!

Bye!

Thursday 17th First thing this morning, Sarah told me that Robbie Taylor knows about her thinking the female orgasm was a myth and about the Bluebell thing (the story behind why Maz got a blue knob and was therefore nicknamed ‘Bluebell’). Apparently he and Declan were taking the piss out of her yesterday and said Jake had told him. So, I texted him and it turns out he did tell his brother that in order to get Robbie to tell him things. He apologised over and over saying he made his bro promise not to say anything to anyone and he didn’t think he would.

Sarah said she wasn’t bothered but she obviously was but didn’t want to cause trouble so I had a bit of a go at Jake on her behalf. I ended up forgiving him pretty quickly though cos he made me feel sorry for him somehow! His brother’s got a definite evil streak in him. He just doesn’t seem to have any consideration for other people’s feelings.

Yey! Sarah also told me today that she’s willing to give Michael Amhurst a chance! I’ve been trying to get them together for ages! He’s always been up for it but she’s either been stubborn about it or unwilling to get over Maz and just face the fact he’s a complete twat!

Bye!

He called me a dog – 14th May 2001

Monday 14th I had a driving lesson today after college which wasn’t much fun. It was raining really hard and it was sooo busy and my instructor took me into Warrington where it was even worse with all the stupid road systems. I was doing the ‘meeting traffic’ part of the course so I was so busy concentrating on not crashing that I got simple things wrong such as braking before indicating and stalling more than usual. My instructor gave me a huge list of things I need to think about before my next lesson. I’m never going to pass!

I’ve not got used to this new car yet either because I’ve only had one lesson in it before and that was over 2 weeks ago now. He obviously wasn’t taking that into account though.

I went to this fashion show thing this evening at the primary school where my mum works. That was a bit boring actually. During it, I got a phone call from Rory apologising for something which I gradually found out (when he calmed down!) was that he called me a dog to Robbie Taylor on that MSN messenger thing on the internet. I didn’t really have a clue what he was on about until I rang Jake afterwards. He said his brother, Rory and a few others had been chatting on MSN and his bro had yelled, “Oh my God” so Jake saw the screen and read that Rory had called me a dog. Jake then took over from his bro and told Rory never to come out with us ever again!

I think that was slightly over the top myself so I told Rory not to worry about it because I’ve been called far worse things in the past and he was obviously genuinely sorry. He only said it cos I’d been taking the piss out of him a bit anyway.

Bye

It makes orgasmic noises when you touch it – 12th & 13th May 2001

Saturday 12th A few of us went round to Floyd’s house this evening. We just spent ages signing Jake’s sad, rich mate up for Manline on the internet and writing guestbook entries into his poncey guestbook on his cruise ship website. Then we spent the rest of the evening watching the Eurovision Song Contest. I think it was hosted in Denmark this year by Dr Death and the Tooth Fairy! We voted for Estonia and they won!! Britain’s song was crap so we all cheered along Estonia instead!

[I’ve found the Estonia and UK Eurovision 2001 offerings for you to enjoy(?)… Good grief.]

I was wearing my cool new trainers tonight and Isaac said, “Cool shoes” and Nell also said she liked them. 🙂 I do too!

Hugo actually phoned Jake at one point so I made use of my bottle opener (it makes orgasmic noises when you touch it!) and played it down the phone at him. He thought it was a real person!

Everybody’s really annoyed with Gethin because he’s made a website with horrible photos of us all on it. There are none of him and it hasn’t even got his name one it, he’s just signed everything “G”. He says he’ll change it. We’ll see! He really annoys me sometimes.

Bye!

Sunday 13th I stayed over at Jake’s house last night because his dad’s in Peru and his sister was at her mate’s house so there was only his brother in. I’ve never slept in his bed before. It was really nice and cosy. We cuddled and kissed and stuff.

We went to the Trafford Centre straight from his house this morning. It was so nice waking up next to him. 🙂 I had to get my mum some birthday presents so I didn’t end up buying anything for myself except food and a cheap top.

Bye!

Maz has a blue knob – 11th May

Friday 11th A group of us just went in a few of the pubs on The Run [a pub crawl] tonight. We started in The Dog then went to The Woodman then The Grey Hen (from which I ended up with a Tetley’s ashtray in my bag!) and then The Green Dragon. I decided to go in The Dragon because I wasn’t the only one going in who’d fairly recently quit. Cat and Denny also handed in their notice not so long ago so it was a kind of safety in numbers thing, just in case we saw the evil managers.

Cat and I tried to get Sarah a blue condom out of the machine in the toilets as a joke (cos apparently Maz has a blue knob) but we only got a red one and a yellow one. I gave the yellow one to Jake but I don’t know what he did with it. Cat kept the other one.

When we went out of the The Dragon, I laid all the signs stood on the grass face down on the floor in the hope that they’ll lose business because I think it was advertising a quiz night or something!

It was quite a good night and a cheap one too because I got pretty pissed on only 4 pints of diesel! 🙂 I’m not really sure what was good about it, it was just a funny night e.g. some guy in The Dog had a really strange curly wig which kept us amused for ages by just looking at it!

Jake came back to mine afterwards and we just lay on the floor in the dining room. Nothing happened because his taxi came.

Bye!

The aim was to pop her water bra – 5th May

Saturday 5th Before Denny’s party, Lizzie, Sarah, Cat, Karen, Jake and I all went to Brett Massey’s party. He lives near Ikea and is an ex-boyfriend of Lizzie’s but she recently got back in touch with him and he invited her to his part with the instruction to bring as many girls as possible! Desperate!!

It was pretty weird actually cos there were mostly people who I didn’t know, some that I used to talk to when Lizzie was with Brett and my ex-sort-of-boyfriend, Leon Farrell. I have to say, he has improved a bit but his girlfriend was a bit ming! That pleased me cos Jake is pretty damn gorgeous if you ask me! 🙂

I don’t want to sound full of myself or anything but Leon did keep looking at me! I felt kind of smug though cos I had Jake cuddling me all the time and he had his girlfriend this who wasn’t. Anyway, we didn’t stay at Brett’s long. We just drank all his alcohol, said goodbye/thanks and left!

Denny’s was a top party!! There was everybody there, no Hayley or Lena or any other bitchy people, loads of nice food, music and his lovely big house!

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Nothing really major happened, everybody just stood/danced around and chatted drunkenly at each other. Emma and Freda were searching for Karen with a corkscrew and the aim was to pop her water bra but she wasn’t wearing it!

Suzie told me that I’m one of those “sickening people that always looks good”! I don’t agree but I like Suzie even more now! 🙂

Gethin got really pissed on absinthe and took Jake out to the stables for a chat. He apologised for feeling him up once and told him that I’m a really good friend cos I’m so honest and stuff! 🙂

A few of us got into a discussion about whether hand size indicates penis length and Jake reckons it’s about right cos we measured across his palm from wherever you do it from (can’t remember!) and it was about 6 inches. He reckons his is about 6.5 inches.

Tess & Jake

While Gethin was pissed, he said he was imagining me naked. Yuck!

Freda said I remind her of Holly out of Casualty!

Jake and I stayed at Cat’s house and as the night progressed, some stuff happened.

I’d better go! I’ve run out of room. See you in the my next diary….. it’s a red one this time.

Byeeee!!! 🙂

Fireworks between the sheets – 2nd to 4th May

Wednesday 2nd Cat told me that Mr L’s been suspended. It serves him right! She said there’s also the possibility of police involvement because of Ellie.

I saw Jake after college. We just talked, mainly about the future actually and me maybe being Tessa Taylor one day! I’m not too sure about that!

He did a face reading thing on me out of FHM which tells you what your features say about your personality. Mine went something like:

  • Full lips = Pleasure orientated and have exciting sex life
  • Small ears = Sensitive about own health and unlikely to have unprotected sex
  • Winder nose = More fireworks between the sheets and more emotional
  • Larger eyes = Open-minded in bedroom and willing to break taboos
  • Overall = More imaginative and likes mental stimulation as well as physical. Ideal partner would be very caring. Sex has to be emotionally satisfying and prefer to take things slowly at first but perfect techniques in the long run.

Apparently that’s a mixture between Sarah Michelle Geller and Reese Witherspoon.

Hmmm. Most of that revolved around sex but then it is in a bloke magazine! Some of it is true though!

Bye!

Thursday 3rd Mr L’s been suspended pending inquiry but teachers and pupils are being told he’s got food poisoning!

Jake phoned me today cos he was bored. So was I!

Bye!

Friday 4th Nobody was doing anything tonight because we’re all going to Denny’s party tomorrow. However, Jake and I didn’t want to stay in so we went to the Trafford Centre and saw The Mexican at the cinema. It was really good actually.

Bye!