I rang Sarah to make our disgust known – 30th & 31st July 2000

Monday 30th Denny had a party tonight which was pretty good. Michael brought 2 of his workmates, Sam and Ian (a.k.a. Nip due to his nipple piercing), who I spent most of the night talking to cos Jake was busy dancing with Denny and Gethin. Hmmm, worrying!

Nip was talking to me most and kept nudging me as if he was flirting, even though Karen and Lizzie were making it blatantly obvious they wanted to get off with him after discovering Sam’s got a girlfriend. He ended up with Lizzie in the end because Karen threw up quite regularly for the rest of the night after downing half a bottle of cheap wine.

I stayed in Denny’s sister’s room with Jake but we slept on the floor cos we didn’t feel fair sleeping in her bed.

Bye!

Tuesday 31st Denny wasn’t best pleased this morning due to a number of things:

  • Lizzie and Nip did stuff in both the bathroom and his parents’ bed after he had made it clear we had to stay out of there.
  • Sarah and Michael left a used condom (yuck!) on the floor of the spare room and left without clearing up or saying goodbye. Gethin disposed of the offending item and I rang Sarah to make our disgust known.
  • Karen left sick everywhere and didn’t get out of bed until 2pm. Even then she didn’t clean it up.

Bye!

P.S. Poor Denny!

I accidentally threw one at his balls – 24th to 27th July 2000

Tuesday 24th Yey!! I’m home! 🙂 Today consisted of an extremely boring coach journey/ferry crossing during which I couldn’t buy much food due to leaving all my money in my suitcase. The highlight of the journey was when Cat passed a card round for all the College 2s to sign (as it’s our last trip) for Mr P. I took great delight in writing, “Thank you for 3 great trips! Love Tessa xxx”. I don’t know if he’ll notice but I’ve actually been on 4 trips. Ha ha ha!!! (evil laughter)

Bye!

Wednesday 25th I had a nice lie in this morning and then Jake came round to see me later on. I got lots of hugs and kisses from him all day which was very nice. He said he missed me and felt sort of empty while I was away and that it’s nice to have me back. I’m very glad to hear that! 🙂

Bye!

Thursday 26th Mmm. I got lots more kisses and cuddles from Jake today. We went to the Trafford Centre cinema and saw Evolution which was really good and funny.

It was on the news that there’s foot and mouth disease in our village at the farm over the railway and I can see it from my bedroom window. They’ve killed all the poor cows.

Bye!

Friday 27th I saw Jake all day today cos it was nice and sunny so we lay about in the hammock and threw apples at each other. I accidentally threw one at his balls. I think it hurt a bit!

Everybody did The Run [a pub crawl] tonight, even though most people said they’re going to Liverpool for Emma’s birthday tomorrow too. I told Jake that I didn’t think I could go due to a severe money shortage. He started saying how he really wanted me to go cos it wouldn’t be the same without me.

At other points in the evening, Jake also called me an angel and said he loves me more than anything in the world. 🙂 Cool!

Bye!

I don’t mime that often! – 12th to 14th July 2001

Thursday 12th I had to do concerts again today for the Year 6 induction days at school. Heidi Warner was being a bitch saying she’s the only flute that plays and things. Grrr!! I don’t mime that often!

I’ve finally sorted an HSBC account out. I’ve got a normal one and they can change it to a student account when I get my results.

Bye!

Friday 13th I had to do the Swing Band Au Revoir concert at the British Legion tonight. It went well and everyone in my year got certificates and a photo of the band.

Suzanna was there and kept looking at Jake. Afterwards, Jake and I, Denny, Michael and his mate Sam all met up in The Coach and Horses. Sam was very southern and very loud but he seemed nice enough.

We all decided to go to the Trafford Centre cos Michael wanted to see Sarah, even though she’s told him to back off a bit. He saw her and the rest of us danced about in free wigs for 70s night in Prior’s. Jake and Denny got up on the dancefloor and were dancing together which worries me slightly! The also got asked if they had any ecstasy pills! They must have been dancing badly!

Bye!

Saturday 14th Jake and I went to The Dog with Sarah and Michael tonight. It was quite good actually cos we just chatted. Sarah told me that Gethin had been gutted when Jake and I got together because he fancied us both!

Bye!

A run in with the Aviemore police – 8th to 11th July 2001

Sunday 8th I saw Jake today but he spent most of the time sleeping because he was camping at Arley Hall yesterday with his fellow Venture Scouts.

My dad is now in Wick after helping his mate move to a house up there somewhere. Mum said he’s had a run in with the Aviemore police cos he was asleep in the van in a layby. They’ve obviously got nothing better to do! She also said he’s been followed round by a greyhound and he felt sorry for it and let it in the house. Apparently the police have now got it.

Bye!

Monday 9th Jake was a bit more awake today so we went to Manchester and saw Shrek at the Filmworks. It was a top film! I also got a new red watchstrap from the Quiksilver shop.

I had a driving lesson this morning which was a bit bad. The driving was fine but when I had a go at 3 practice theory tests, I failed them all!

Bye!

Tuesday 10th I completely wasted half my day by going to HSBC in Warrington to try and sort out a student account. They eventually told me that I have to have my results before I can open one. Jake couldn’t open one either cos he hasn’t got his student loan stuff yet.

He came back to mine afterwards but wanted to leave pretty quickly after Mum had one of her mad stressed-out mental tantrums cos I didn’t walk Mollie or empty the dishwasher or something.

Bye!

Wednesday 11th I had a Swing Band concert at a primary school today for the children. It went quite well, I think. One of my ex-teachers was there too.

I had a Year 10 saxophonist asking me about Banff when we were there and saying he’s been twice. I’ve usually forgotten about Jake going there until someone mentions it and then I get that sicky feeling again cos those 3 months were awful!

Mum’s in a better mood now and Jake’s gone all cuddly again.

Bye!

Barcelona is FULL of Americans and mopeds – 4th to 6th July 2001

Wednesday 4th We went on another bloody hill walk today to Parc Güell where there’s lots of Gaudi artwork. We shouldn’t have had to walk but most of the damn street escalators weren’t working! It was nice when we got there though.

Two people asked us if we spoke English so maybe we’re so tanned that we now look Spanish. Hah! I think not! I’m still as pasty as anything!

My feet still hurt now from all the walking we did today.

This afternoon we went to see more Gaudi stuff at some building with a bank on the ground floor. We had to pay to get in cos it was like a museum but it was pretty good.

There was an old apartment with all the furniture and stuff still in it. The on the rood there were lots of arches and stuff. It’s all in here!…

We went back to the hotel to get changed and then went out for tea. We went to the harbour bit and to a posher restaurant. It was quite expensive but pretty minging food. We had Spanish food and it was all fishy so I wasn’t too keen. Never mind though, Jake paid for that one!

I rang home again tonight and Mum informed me that Connor quit his job at AMEC because he hates it. He’s got nothing to fall back on though and nothing else lined up. Mum also said it’s very hot at home and there have been floods in Wales around where my Grandma L lived. My dad’s cousin’s caravan’s been washed away. She wasn’t in it though.

Jake and I have now been together for a year and 5 months. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Bye!

Thursday 5th We went to see the gothic part of Barcelona today. It was quite nice with the narrow streets but I can see why that makes it a bad idea to go at night. We went to the Hard Rock Café again for lunch and then present buying around the harbour bit.

We had a wander then ate at Moka which was a nice and fairly cheap café/restaurant place on Las Ramblas. We didn’t do nearly as much today cos we needed presents etc. and didn’t have much money and we’re pretty tired too.

I don’t really want to go home tomorrow. The things I won’t miss are the sticky heat, the scrubby pickpockets and the music shop under our room which plays about 5 songs over and over. Nsync is one of their favourites which we haven’t been too pleased about! I will miss my bed and the bath and having Jake there all the time though.

We have made one conclusion from this holiday and that is that Barcelona is FULL of Americans and mopeds.

Bye!

Friday 6th We left our hotel at about 10am and nearly missed the train to the airport which would’ve meant missing the plane. That was quite scary cos we wouldn’t have known what to do.

The flight home wasn’t too good. It was very bumpy and cloudy so I couldn’t see much. I didn’t like it. I thought I was nervous but the girl behind us started hyperventilating and the cabin crew had to take her to their bit at the back to calm her down.

It was surprisingly hot when we got outside Speke Airport to meet my dad. He was a bit late because of traffic jams but he got there eventually.

I saw Jake again this evening and we just stayed in and watched TV cos everyone else is still away.

Bye!

Worrying him with questions like, “Would you still like me if I had no legs?”– 3rd July 2001

Tuesday 3rd We had breakfast in the hotel this morning and it was really nice. There was a big table in the centre of the room with loads of different foods on it including cakes and doughnuts. I opted for croissants in the end, just to be boring!

We decided to try and go up a hill that Jake went up last year when he was here. After getting lost in the airless Metro tunnels before realising it was a train we needed, we finally made it to the right place. We knew there were trams to the funicular railway which goes to the very top but we didn’t know where to get them from and decided it couldn’t be that far to walk.

Big mistake! It was miles and we were so hot, sweaty and knackered by the time we got to the train thing. I saw a little lizard though.

We ate some food in the shade of a wall at the top of the churchy building at the top of the hill but had no money for a drink. So, pretty much as soon as we got up there, we had a look at the view of the city then went back down the hill.

It was definitely easier and faster to get down and we beat the tram cos it got stuck in traffic. Hah!

We went back to the hotel to have a shower and cool down in our lovely air conditioned room before going to get some more food. What we had for lunch wasn’t very exotic (it was from the Marks & Spencer at the end of the road!) so we went to one of the cafes on Las Ramblas. They said they didn’t have any of the Spanish food we wanted so I ended up with spaghetti bolognaise and Jake had pork chops, I think!

We then walked to the Metro again and went to find the Sagrada Família thing. It’s huge and pretty impressive. They’re still building it so there were loads of cranes and stuff which spoilt it a bit.

We fell out a bit again this evening because Jake asked me to sleep on my bed cos he was hot so we were sleeping miles away from each other. It just annoyed me because we hardly ever get to sleep in the same bed and then when we can, he chucks me out. He also said I’d been worrying him with questions like, “Would you still like me if I had no legs?” etc. I was only messing about though. We both got a bit upset (him more) and we made up and slept in the same bit of bed.

Bye!

He likes the cowgirl look – 29th June & 1st July 2001

Friday 29th Urgh! This pen’s meant to be purple but it’s more of a browny-black colour really. Oh well, I can’t find another one.

I went to Manchester with Jake today in search of a hat for Barcelona and we both ended up getting one from the Quiksilver shop. His is blue and flowery on one side and creamy on the other, and mine’s purpley on one side and creamy on the other. They’re both reversible. Jake says he really likes me in mine and that he wants photos of me in it in Barcelona. We’ll see!

[I wish there wasn’t a photo of me in the hat but here it is.]

Jake picked up a leaflet with a cowgirl on it in Schue today. He likes the cowgirl look and has told me plenty of times. He said he got it to “test my reaction” but I don’t believe him! It’ll probably be on display in his bedroom from now on!

I spoke to Jake’s sister very briefly today at his house. She liked my hat too and suggested we wear them at the same time so we nearly match. I think not!!

Bye!

Sunday 1st I had to do a Swing Band concert at The Roebuck pub in Urmston today. Connor took me and Abby, and Jake came too cos Connor didn’t want to be on his own.

It went quite well and it was a really nice big pub but it was a bit windy so the music kept blowing away. We were also meant to get a barbecue but that didn’t happen until after we’d left unfortunately.

Jake and I are going to Barcelona tomorrow. Yey!! We’ve got to be at Speke Airport quite early so his dad can drop us off before he goes to work in Liverpool. I’m actually pretty nervous about going on the plane to be honest. I don’t know why cos I never used to be. It just doesn’t seem right though, something as big and heavy as an aeroplane being able to stay up in the air!

Bye!

I’m doomed! – 11th June 2001

Monday 11th My driving instructor turned up half an hour early today but luckily I was ready unlike once before. It was quite good today I thought and my instructor said so too. He said I’m much more relaxed and the only things I need to think about doing is checking my mirrors before taking my foot off the accelerator and moving over to the left of the road before turning left at a junction or something. Nothing major anyway.

I did some bay parking at the test centre which was okay after a couple of attempts. He said I got it right the first time I did it which is very unusual. Then I was doing about complex junctions and I think he took me to some but I didn’t really notice cos I’ve been round Warrington loads before. My knee was extremely painful though and I had to get out of the car at one point to straighten my leg.

I can’t revise! I’m a bit worried about the last 4 exams I’ve got to do actually. The biology Health and Disease topic is hard and I don’t really understand it, the geography Managing Human Environments is extremely boring so I can’t take it in and then the 2 sports studies papers are both next week and I haven’t revised for any of it yet and there’s LOADS of it. 😦 I’m doomed!

I really can’t wait until my exams are over but I’ve got my next driving lesson the day after so I’d better not drink too much. Grrr!

Jake came round this evening but we had nothing to do so we decided to go to the cinema at the Trafford Centre. Due to the fact he won’t have a car, apparently his dad has said he’ll pay for taxis etc. so that’s how we got there and back.

We had a total headcase driving us there. He seemed to think he was an Italian Jim Carrey or something and wouldn’t stop talking complete bollocks all the way there. Jake said he’s had him before but perhaps due to alcohol he doesn’t remember the guy being quite so mental last time.

We ended up seeing Get Over It and it was better than we expected. We also tested out some Ben & Jerry’s ice creams which were all very nice. Mmm!

Bye!

I left Jake watching TV to go and make some fake cum – 10th June 2001

Sunday 10th Hmm. Last night was quite a varied night in the end with some good bits and some not so good bits.

Jake, Michael, Sarah, Karen, Cat, Gethin and I all went round to Lizzie’s house because her parents went away to Cyprus for 2 weeks yesterday. We all brought alcohol supplies and just settled down in the living room to watch TV/listen to music/talk.

Gethin was being all lively and was poncing about in the middle of the room, dancing and cracking crap jokes in order to be the centre of attention but as soon as everyone lost interest he went and sulked and had heart-to-heart talks with people and cried cos he’s gay. I didn’t fall for it. It was all for attention purposes and really got on my nerves.

My theory is that it was mostly for the benefit of Sarah but she’s so soft she gave him loads of sympathy. You see, I reckon Gethin’s jealous deep down of Michael because now he’s come along, Sarah’s no longer following Gethin round like a little sheep in hope she’ll get a snog out of him. He didn’t want to know at the time but now it’s the whole situation of wanting what he can’t have. I may be wrong but it’d be a very Gethin-like thing to do.

He did ask me if he could talk to me at one point but I refused to go out of the room with him cos I had a feeling that if he was going to go all serious. I’d either get annoyed or laugh and I didn’t really want to fall out with him.

I had a minor jokey disagreement with Jake while he was watching the Formula 1 on TV. I asked why he found it so interesting and he eventually came out with a comment that girls only like football for the perve factor. That pissed me off so much so I put up and argument. He did admit in the end that he knows that’s not why I watch it. Why can’t I just like the game? Grrr.

I left Jake watching TV to go and make some fake cum at one point. Cat found a recipe a while ago on the internet and was going to spread it round Mr L’s room (ha ha ha!!!) so we thought we’d test it out. It didn’t work. We ended up with a runny yellow concoction consisting of egg white, sugar, mayonnaise, flour, evaporated milk, arrowroot, salad cream and lots more. It was pretty mingin’! (We didn’t actually follow a recipe, we guessed!)

A few of us had a go at my drinking games. We played Fuzzy Duck, Bunnies, something with matches and something where you had to pick a bottle up with your mouth while standing on one leg. We got bored pretty quickly though cos none of us were that pissed.

Sarah, Michael, Jake and I all went in Sarah’s car to get Chinese takeaway and stopped to pick Floyd up from The Green Dragon on the way back. He was still working so I used my superb waitressing skills and help him tidy up faster so he could finish his shift. It’s scary how it all came back to me!

When we got back, we ate too much food and all nearly exploded but it’s too nice to leave leftovers! Sarah and Michael then had to go out again to take Cat home cos she had to teach Sunday school this morning.

Cat got upset at one point too, all because of fucking Mr L. She checked his email and discovered a letter which someone had written for him to print off and put with his application forms for new jobs. It was all about why he’d resigned (cos of the allegations made against him) and went cringingly onto say how he loves his job and how he’ll work extra hard to prove himself etc. Tosser!

The part that really got to Cat though was a bit saying that the head of our school would back him up about what an “asset” he was. It sounds like Mr C didn’t believe what Cat was saying. Mr bloody L is going to be allowed to teach again and it’ll happen all over again with more pupils. With any luck though, nobody will want to risk taking him on.

Even though we were all full from Chinese, we kept finding chocolates and sweets all over the house and therefore we all felt even more sick!

It really is a mess in Lizzie’s house. You can hardly move for rubbish and there’s about 4 inches of dust on the vacuum cleaner! Luckily Lizzie said Jake and I could share her sister’s bed so we didn’t have to sleep in amongst the mess. Mind you, it took us a while to clear the crap off her sister’s bed too!

We went to bed pretty early actually. Sarah and Michael shared another bedroom and the others slept on the living room floor.

I left Jake on the bed to go in the bathroom and came back to find him in the bed with no clothes on at all! We just kissed and cuddled for a bit then…

[CENSORED! I can’t include what I wrote because I covered all the gory details at some point with a thick black pen, probably before I went to uni when I feared Mum or Abby would find my diaries. I’m not going to pretend I’m not relieved I don’t have to cringe my way through sharing that sort of stuff.]

We got some sleep after that and it was really nice being able to snuggle up together. It was really nice waking up with him there this morning too. We cuddled for ages before Sarah knocked on the door to say she was leaving soon if we wanted a lift. We all ended up going to McDonald’s for breakfast (mmm, bacon roll!) and Rory was working. The McDonald’s uniform actually makes him look vaguely straight!

Jake got a lift back with Karen cos she was dropping Lizzie off and he lives in the next close to Lizzie. I don’t like leaving him, especially when Karen’s there. I’m going to sound really paranoid now but she keeps flirting with him, I’m sure! He was complaining this morning about his hair being a mess and she started stroking his head saying, “Ahh!”. She laughs at him all the time and kept saying he was sweet last night.

Hugo kept ringing him too and Karen made sure she answered it and said, “Hi! This is Big ‘n’ Bouncy Escorts. How may I help you?” Actually, that was quite funny though. I probably wouldn’t notice as much if I didn’t know that she used to fancy him. Ugh, I don’t know! I don’t think she’s really a threat though!

When I got home this morning, Jake sent me a message saying he’s sorry if he hurt me (pain-wise) last night and not to feel guilty about it. Ooh, I love him sooo much! 🙂

Sarah told me in the car on the way home that she thinks Michael was expecting to go all the way last night but he said he respected her for not wanting to rush it. Aww, sweet! She said she did 2 to him and he did 3 to her on our ranking system.

Just to explain, my mates and I have come up with numbers to represent what stage was reached with lads, just in case we don’t want to say properly what we did if other people are there. It goes:

1 = Snog
2 = Grope
3 = Hands
4 = Mouths
5 = Sex

So, if I ever use those numbers in here, that’s the explanation for it.

I’ve spoken to Jake a couple of times today on the phone cos he decided not to come here cos he’s really tired and doesn’t feel like getting the buses and taxis. (His brother’s getting that Punto but Jake won’t be insured on it.)

I’ve just been texting Jake now and I apologised again for last night. He said it doesn’t matter and that it didn’t last very long the first time so that’s the longest it’s lasted yet!

Oh no, I’ve got a driving lesson tomorrow. I’ve forgotten what to do!

Bye!

I don’t want him to run off with someone who has got legs! – 8th June 2001

Friday 8th Jake phoned me this afternoon to tell me that he, his brother and his dad had been looking for cars this morning. They’ve found a sort of metallic yellow (yuck!) Fiat Punto at some place in Warrington and his brother was going back to test drive it at some point today. Jake says it’s a really nice one so hopefully they’ll get it.

However, when he got to my house later on, Jake was less pleased cos it’ll be really expensive to insure him and his bro on it so he might not be allowed to drive it because he’s going to be at uni in a few months’ time. He’s just going to have to wait and see. He wants his Beetle back most though. That’d be cool!

A few of us including Michael Amhurst did The Run pub crawl tonight. Cat told me something in The Woodman which I’d probably have been better off not hearing. Someone’s dog was sniffing round Jake when he was at the bar and Cat said, “He seems to attract dogs, doesn’t he?!” She meant that literally cos her dog also took quite a fancy to him but she realised it could’ve sounded a bit insulting towards me. I laughed and said, “Well, he did attract Zoe!” I named a few others that liked him as well and then Cat said, “Ooh and Suzanna” when I’d finished the list.

Suzanna is a friend of Emma’s and she’s well known for her slapperish tendencies but many lads so seem to think she’s nice looking. Cat obviously assumed I knew about the Suzanna thing but I didn’t so she told me.

Apparently when Suzanna came on The Run with us a while ago she wasn’t with her boyfriend and she started saying to Emma how nice she thought Jake was. Emma told her that she’d better not dare flirt with him cos she was obviously intending to. What really pisses me off is that I was sat next to him and it’s obvious we’re a couple. Who knows what she’d have tried if Emma and I hadn’t been there. Bitch!

I trust Jake not to do anything but I still don’t like the fact that everyone seems to fancy him. It never happens the other way round. Cat and Sarah said I should be flattered that so many people fancy him but it just worries me. I’m so scared that one day someone will like him and will eventually get him to like her back and he’ll gradually go off me and I’ll lose him.

The thing is that (even if he won’t admit it) he could have pretty much anyone and that makes me feel really insecure cos there’s probably so many people better than me.

He also said (when I asked him!) that if my legs fell off or something he wouldn’t like me quite as much. What if that happens now?! I don’t want him to run off with someone who has got legs!

Anyway, when I got back to mine with Jake he realised I was being quiet and I eventually told him about Suzanna. He couldn’t stop smiling. It’s probably just cos he’s flattered like anyone would be but I didn’t like it. I told him my worry that he might find someone he likes more than me and he said that I don’t have to worry because he loves me and doesn’t ever want anyone else. Good! 🙂

I still wasn’t feeling particularly happy though because I don’t like loads of people fancying him and no-one even looking twice at me. I mean, I don’t want him to look any different cos he’s really nice but people still obviously want to go for him even though they know he’s got a girlfriend. Grrr!! I don’t like the thought of people thinking about him like that cos he’s MINE!!

So, I told him some stuff like that to try and explain what was up with me and I could just see his head expanding. He didn’t mean it though and did seem to understand but I suppose he can’t help it.

I can just imagine people seeing us and thinking, “Urgh! How did dhe get him?!” I think that about people (mean, I know!) so I’m sure others think it too. Maybe they don’t, I don’t know. I’m probably just putting myself down too much but it doesn’t half lower my self-esteem hearing loads of people fancy him and he can’t say, “Well, such and such likes you so you can’t complain!” or anything. Oh well.

The subject of skiing got mentioned too and I commented how I could never afford to do anything like that. He was already pissed off about the Suzanna thing cos he said it upsets him to see me upset and then he just burst into tears. I didn’t mean to upset him but some really evil streak in me was quite pleased because I wasn’t particularly upset and he was and I thought I must have bothered him so he must care.

Then I realised why he was probably sooo upset. It’s a year ago today when his mum died. I did know because it’s hardly the sort of thing to forget cos it was awful at the time but I really should’ve watched what I said, especially about skiing because she wanted him to go. I feel so guilty now. He did calm down after a hug but I felt so bad.

He didn’t actually say that’s what was wrong until he got home and sent me a text message explaining that’s why he got so upset but said I shouldn’t feel bad about it. But I do.

Bye!