I still kind of want his attention – 5th January 2000

Wednesday 5th For the first day back at college after Xmas, it wasn’t actually too bad! I didn’t really see Adrian for a start, although I’ve got to face him in double Geography 1st thing tomorrow morning.

I saw Trotter from a distance and he’s got a new white coat (probably what he bought in the JD Sports sale yesterday!) which makes him look like a snowman. That’s not good.

Didn’t see much of Ollie but Charlie grinned at me.

I found out that Emma spent most of the night with Nathan at Gavin’s on New Year’s Eve. I’m not too bothered though.

Mr P noticed I’d had my hair cut and said it made me look more sophisticated. I think that was a compliment! Unusual for him!


[Looking totes sophis that year with my shorter hair and Bacardi Breezer in hand.]

Floyd Miller fancies Karen Brent but she’s going out with Russ on Saturday to the cinema.

I was getting on quite well with Hayley today. She actually wasn’t annoying me! Also, on the phone tonight, she apologised for repeatedly not speaking to me and stuff and admitted it was because she was jealous of my friendship with Lizzie. It surprised me that she admitted it and I thought it was quite brave of her to do so. She said she was just feeling a bit left out. I think Andy’s doing her some good!

I found out that Danny Barnes’s middle name is Campbell! Ha ha!! It was on the General Studies group list on the notice board.

I was on the phone to Lizzie after school and we mentioned Amir. We’ve been ringing his mobile all day to see if he had it switched on so we’d know if he’d got his message so I decided to try it again on my mobile. I was talking away to Lizzie and I didn’t realise it’d rung until I heard a lad say, “Hello?”

I got a message from Lizzie before when she got back from swimming saying, “HA HA HA! AMIR GOT SARAH’S MESSAGE + HE WAS SAYING HE WANTS 2 KNOW WHO SENT IT. IT WAS SO FUNNY. I HAD 2 TRY SO HARD NOT 2 LAUGH + I DIDN’T.” I was the one who sent it but it was from Sarah’s phone because Leon’s got my number so Amir could’ve found out.

I feel really shady now. In a way, I want her to say that it was me. I’m not sure why though. I don’t fancy him but I still kind of want his attention. [Liar. I did fancy him.] He’s the only lad in her swimming lot who’s a possibility if I get bored, I suppose!



Saturday 1st January 2000 (I was going to put 1999 then!)


Well, my memories of New Year’s Eve 2000 are not particularly good ones. To say my night was a let down would be an understatement. The word ‘shite’ pretty much describes it. There were some good parts but these were outweighed greatly by the bad ones.

My mates (Cat, Sarah and Lizzie) all came round to my house to get changed and stuff and then we were dropped off by my dad at Poppy’s house. We collected Poppy then went round to get Karen. We wandered about the village for a while looking for a party, got bored and went back to Poppy’s.

At 10:30 pm we went round to Zoe’s for the party. My sister and Jacqueline turned up and we ended up staying over until about 9:00 am this morning. We then walked back to mine so they could be picked up to go home. I slept until 5:30 pm this evening. That is basically how the night went.

Good points

  • I was with all my mates all night.
  • The gorgeous Danny Barnes was at Zoe’s and he put his arm round me for a photo.
  • Kate and Laura phoned me from Wick’s street party to say Happy New Year. They said that they were enjoying themselves and to tell Abby they’d seen Ashley Ewart. They said they’d tell Duncan to phone me or send me a text message too.
  • Hayley wasn’t there because she was working.

Bad points

  • When my dad dropped us off at Poppy’s, 2 lads were whistling and shouting stuff at us and he had ‘a word’ with them and they were yelling back at him. I was then worried that he’d be worried.
  • Before the time we could go to Zoe’s there was nothing to do, it was cold, rainy and the village was dead.
  • Laddered my tights badly.
  • Got drinks spilt all over me.
  • Told Lizzie, Sarah and Cat what went on with me and Nathan which’ll probably get round everyone now, knowing Lizzie.
  • Slapper Jacqueline snogged Danny.
  • Hardly anyone at Zoe’s.
  • Phoned Brett but he didn’t answer his mobile so I left a quick message on the answer service. Phoned his home phone and spoke to his dad who sounded really pleased I’d phoned but told me Brett wasn’t in. I left my mobile number for him but he never rang back.
  • At about 2:00am, Abby turned up and snapped at me all night because she wanted to go home.
  • At about 4:30am, I listened to the messages on my answer service and there were 4 from Dad, all saying things like, “Where the hell are you? When are you coming home? I don’t like your attitude and we’ll have to bloody sort it out!” I phoned him and he said more or less the same thing plus, “Happy bloody New Year!” I then got upset which was a bit embarrassing. He also left messages on Sarah and Lizzie’s phones. Abby rang home too and he was nicer to her which didn’t exactly make me feel better.
  • Got a bit of sleep and apparently snored and got laughed at.
  • Not in Wick.
  • Kept seeing celebrations on TV and saw how much of a good time other people have had.
  • Had to walk home this morning. It was freezing and my feet went totally numb.

My mum didn’t realise what Dad had said to me and was sympathetic towards me. Dad did apologise before and said it was worry and alcohol which made him do it. I’m still annoyed because it spoiled my night.

I spoke to Sarah before and she said she’s spoken to Hayley and she said Hayley’d had quite a good night and that she’s seeing some lad she met at bowling. Good. My mum reckons that if Hayley gets a boyfriend it’ll take her mind off stuff that I do so maybe she’ll leave me alone. I hope she’s right, although Hayley will love the fact that she’s got a boyfriend and I haven’t. I have to say that I couldn’t give a toss right now.

There are lots of programmes on TV about last night and they keep including bagpipes. It makes me realise how much I really want to be in Wick right now. I miss it so much.


Goodbye 1999, 20th century and this millennium!! – 30th December 1999

Thursday 30th I went to town with Lizzie today. I didn’t buy anything, we just wandered round. We saw quite a few people, Ste Rollinson, Freddie Bevan and Brett who we spoke to briefly.

I rang Zoe from a phone box there to find out about tomorrow night’s party at her house. She told me a few people who are going such as Adrian Ford (that could be awkward!), Danny Barnes (but she warned me off him), Ed, Ed’s mate Chris (Zoe says he’s fit and warned me off him too), Brett (who she warned Lizzie off) and a few others.

She’s so cheeky! She’s put her claim on any half-decent lads before the party’s even started. It’s an ‘if I can’t have them, no-one will’ type thing with her. She then started saying that Brett was annoying her and told me that he’d asked her to sleep with him.

On the bus on the way into Warrington, Lizzie and I spotted Gethin and his mates so we phoned him and he asked us if we wanted to go to the cinema this evening with him, Big Paul, Emma, Suzanna, Stuart Hobbs, Brian Short, Dougie and Penny Jensen (or however you spell it!). We went but they wanted to see James Bond but Lizzie and I didn’t so we went for a wander to McDonald’s.

We ended up meeting up with Brett because he was delivering his papers and the subject of Zoe came up. He said that he’d dumped her because she’d asked him to sleep with her. Who’s lying? I expect it’s Zoe.

We went back to the cinema eventually to meet the others for going home and I got a phone call off Hayley. About 5 mins before I’d left home to go to the cinema, Freda phoned to see if I could go bowling with her, Hayley and Karen. She was fine about it but when Hayley rang, Hayley shouted down the phone, “When I said we should all go out, I meant all of us and not just a few of us!” and then hung up.

This really pissed me off! She’d said on Monday or something that we should all go out before New Year but I hadn’t heard anything about it until today. It’s not my fault I’d already made plans! How was I to know she’d want to go out tonight? She should’ve let me know sooner. Other people like Lizzie and Sarah didn’t go either and they’d been asked but I bet they’ve not had any hassle!


I lied about having no signal. If she thought that then Hayley’d have no excuse to be annoyed for me not ringing her back or something. I could do without starting a new year with her being a bitchy cow!

This’ll probably be the last diary entry of 1999 because I won’t get chance to write it tomorrow. Goodbye 1999, 20th century and this millennium!!


I hope to God my dad didn’t read them! – 27th & 29th December 1999

Monday 27th Yet another boring day! Nothing happened yesterday either and no doubt nothing will happen tomorrow but then everything seems to be going on on Wednesday so I have to choose now. 

Why can’t people plan things on different days? Nothing happens for days on end and then, all of a sudden, everyone wants to go out on the same day but to different places.
On Wednesday I can either go shopping to Manchester with Mum and Abby to meet Auntie G and Grandma and then onto some party with my parents and Abby OR I can go ice skating again with the same lot as last time.

I don’t know what to do. If I go ice skating then I’ll feel guilty about not seeing Grandma and Auntie G and the sales have started and I might not get another chance to go. Plus I probably won’t be able to go to this party of this woman my mum works with and they have teenagers in the family which could mean lads! The again, if I don’t go ice skating I might miss out on there on lads too and Lizzie might invite someone else instead. Also, the party could be crap, full of old people and me not being able to get near any lads because my parents are there.

What should I do?!

My dad’s been in the internet sometime over the last few days and has been deleting old e-mails of ours because they were cluttering up the file. What I’m worried about is that he’s read some of the e-mails sent to and from this lad called Adam Cunliffe. Dad did say, after he’d done it, that Adam Cunliffe had featured a lot in the e-mails and he asked who he was. I told him that it was someone I used to chat online to but if Dad read any of the e-mails he will now know that I didn’t just chat with him but we exchanged phone numbers, addresses and photos and even planned to meet up at Alton Towers. We wrote and phoned but nothing in fact became of the meeting up thing but Dad may not believe that.

Adam also used to put about how much he liked me and in one or two, jokingly wrote about what he got up to in the shower. I hope to God my dad didn’t read them!


Wednesday 29th I ended up going to Manchester to shop with my mum and Abby today and then we went to visit Grandma S and Auntie G afterwards so I couldn’t go ice skating. Mum and Dad decided not to bother with the party in the end.

When I got home from Grandma S’s, I phoned Lizzie at ice skating because we’re meant to be going into Warrington tomorrow to relieve some of our boredom. I got a message from her earlier on today saying, “HI TESSA, I’M ON THE BUS. WHAT’S GOING ON TOMORROW? BECKI’S DISAPPOINTED. SHE’S HERE + SHE WANTED 2 MEET U.” That made the fact I couldn’t go ice skating even worse because I wanted to see what Becki’s like too.

I spoke to Becki, Brett and Damon very briefly when I rang Lizzie. They were there (obviously!) plus Leon, Amir and some lad called David.

Only 2 days left of this year, century and Millennium left to go now. It doesn’t seem like anything special really. I’m still as bored as ever!


He bloody well laughed – 23rd & 24th December 1999

Thursday 23rd I went to the Trafford Centre today with Lizzie, Cat and an Australian girl called Sarah who’s staying with people who live near Cat. It was an alright day but I didn’t buy much.

This evening I went out to the The Smithy pub with Lizzie, Gethin, Big Paul and Stuart Hobbs. It was fine until I somehow got onto the subject of Grandma and I told Gethin about the fire she’d had. He laughed. He bloody well laughed. Well, to me and I’m sure most other people, it is just not funny but Lizzie joined in laughing too. I was telling them not to but they just wouldn’t stop.

We got bored in the pub so Big Paul just drove us round. It was fine for a while and I was back in a good mood until Gethin swapped places with Stuart and sat in the back. He was constantly calling me a bitch and stuff and, although he was saying it jokingly, it was beginning to annoy me.

Rather than yell at him (there was no real reason to do so other than the one I have just mentioned about calling me a bitch and, if I had have shouted, the others may have thought it was petty) I decided just to annoy him back so I started making him paranoid by asking Lizzie if she’d “told him” and then mouthing “Amir” at her. It worked but also annoyed Lizzie a bit which I didn’t want to do really.

When Lizzie’d gone and Big Paul dropped me off Gethin wouldn’t let go of my wrists coz I’d been getting a nerve between his bicep and tricep which hurt and Big Paul got annoyed with me coz I wouldn’t get out of the car. What he didn’t realise was that I couldn’t get out. Bloody Gethin’s fault again! Grrr!!

Gethin did actually compliment me at one point so I forgave him for a while but that only lasted a few minutes. He said I reminded him of Pamela Rhodes and Keely Wade when I got out of the car for a bit. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing but the other lads assured me that it definitely was. Gethin also said that I was “looking rather pretty tonight”. Don’t know where that came from. Maybe he realised he’d pissed me off.

Lizzie told me the other day that Hayley’d met [snogged] Big Paul at the party but now I’ve been told by Big Paul that he doesn’t think he did. Hmmm… interesting!


Friday 24th (Christmas Eve!)

Boring day. All my presents are under the Xmas tree and I’ve been wanting to open them but can’t. There are some very odd shapes amongst them. The dog opened one of mine so I know that Karen bought me a bright pink stress-reliever keyring. I’m not bothered coz I got her a pretty crap present too!

Just got a message from Rhian. She says she’s bored and freezing in the Orkneys and on the brink of cracking up. Nothing different there then, except her location”

I miss being in Scotland for Xmas. I know Mum wants to spend it with her side of the family this year and I don’t mind that but I still love being up there so much. Maybe next year.


All I wanted to do was snog Leon – 21st-22nd December 1999

Tuesday 21st I went ice skating today with a few members of Lizzie’s swimming club. There was me, Lizzie, Amir, Damon, Becki, Leon and Brett and Leon’s nephew. It was quite good apart from the fact that all I wanted to do was snog Leon. At one point, Damon said Leon still fancied me but I think it was only because Leon’d said Damon fancied Lizzie. Damon was also nodding his head and pointing in my direction after getting Leon’s attention, as in a ‘go for it’ kind of way. I wish he had’ve done!

When we were on the bus, Becki was going through Leon’s phone and ringing his mates and telling them she loved them and stuff. One of them was Reevesy (Brett said he still likes me) but I don’t know if he believed it. Later on, Lizzie and I were giving Becki numbers to phone, one of which was Aled’s. She rang but he was out so she just told whoever answered that she was Tess. I hope he doesn’t ring me back now.

Zoe kept phoning because she knew Brett was there but he didn’t want to speak to her coz he says he can’t stand her!

I saw Oscar’s new girlfriend in McDonald’s earlier on today. He pointed her out coz he was working. She’s not really pretty or anything but she looks really nice.

I think I like Leon again now, damn it! I hardly spoke to him but I can’t help it. Lizzie’s not sure if he’s going out with Becki or not but I think it’s pretty likely seeing as his phone’s full or messages from her.

Gethin’s now seeing Lizzie officially. We rang him and I made him ask her and it worked!


Wednesday 22nd Aled phoned this evening to see if I’d phoned him yesterday! I explained what’d been going on and he just told me that he’d heard about Gethin and Lizzie, and Gethin and Hayley at the party. That was about it.

I got a certificate at kickboxing tonight to show I’m now a white belt. We were doing a bit of self-defence and a jump side kick and a more complicated back kick thing. It’s so good!

Zoe informed me earlier that she’s now going out with Brett. He is one confused lad! It was only yesterday that he was saying how much he couldn’t stand her but I now think that was only coz Lizzie was there.


“Do you want a cold?” – 18th December 1999

Saturday 18th The party last night was yet again quite eventful. I think I’ll begin with me. I could’ve snogged 3 lads but I managed to keep a certain amount of self-control.


[My Christmas party attire.]

First of all, there was Ollie Bramwell. He kept asking me, “Where did you get those legs?!” and saying how I should show them off around college more. I was quite flattered but I kept avoiding him. I’ve already met [snogged] him before anyway at another of Freda’s parties. Keira and I were telling him how we were going to do an Xmas strip but Davis was the one who wanted us to do it and he didn’t turn up (we wouldn’t have done anyway though!) and Ollie was trying to convince us to do it anyway.

Then there was Charlie Wilson. I’d been getting on quite well with him all night and he asked me twice to meet [snog] him. He asked indirectly by saying, “Do you want a cold?” I told him I already had one and he asked, “Do you want another one?” I refused him quite simply by saying no. After that he kept giving me hugs and later when we were sat on a sofa he said, “You can snog me if you like.” I started going on about how Cat wouldn’t be too pleased and then luckily he went home. I couldn’t have done anything with him after the amount of piss taking I did out of Cat in Belgium. I’d have been laughed at anyway.

As most people were leaving the party, Adrian Ford turned up. He kept talking to me and putting his hands on my waist as he was doing so. To start with I did my best to avoid him too but then I got bored and found out that most other people had got a snog out of the party so I thought, “Sod it” and took the next opportunity. This was when Adrian went to see if Nigel Groves was okay and he dragged me with him outside, only to find Nigel being sick around the corner.

We left him to it and headed back to the house but Adrian stopped me and we ended up meeting [snogging] each other twice. He wasn’t bad but kept hitching my skirt up and trying to get in my top so I went inside before somebody saw me.

A while later he followed me into Freda’s room and I snogged him again. This time his hand ventured but stayed on the outside of my clothes so I didn’t care! He asked if I was alright, I said yet but took the opportunity to mention that Cat (who was on Freda’s bed) might wake up so we went and he went home pretty soon after.

While I was trying to get some sleep last night, I was putting all the lads I’ve kissed into a list from best to worst! This may seem cruel but, unless they’re psychic, they won’t know. It goes:-


Now I get onto what happed with other people. This could take a while. The expected happened between Lizzie and Gethin, and Gethin made me take a photo of them mid-snog! Gethin also met [snogged] Hayley and Rachael but that was for part of a bet. To complete the bet, he also had to snog Cat and Julian Olsen which he didn’t do. He went back to Lizzie for the rest of the night and kept thanking me for pushing them together with my superb match-making skills!

He really likes her but after he’d left she snogged Anton Roper. He was creeping on to me a bit too, I forgot about that. I was stood next to him and he was rubbing his hand further and further down my back until I moved then he kept feeling my leg when I was trying to sleep on the floor.

My match-making also worked with Karen and Floyd Miller. Before they arrived I’d said I was going to do it and I kept making her sit on his knee and stuff and they ended up meeting [snogging] each other.

Emma was having stalker trouble with Neil Kennedy. He cornered her and was saying how much he loved her and gave her a diamond heart-shaped pendant. I rescued her because I came round the corner to find a drink and saw her trying to get rid of him so I started up a conversation with Emma and told him someone was looking for him. She is now seeing Orson Platt but doesn’t want to be now she’s sobered up!


[Orson & Emma]

Maisie Jones snogged Tunde S and then Adrian. I don’t care coz I don’t like Adrian like that. I was just drunk and bored!

Big Paul upset Cat by meeting [snogging] her and then buggering off with Keira.


[Big Paul & Keira]

There’s more stuff but I can’t quite remember what it is just yet!

Zoe rang me before to see if I’d go to the cinema with her, Reevesy, Brett and Ste because Hayley wasn’t going but I couldn’t because I had to go and see Grandma S.

It’s not good at Grandma’s. She’s had a bit of a fire but must have managed to put it out, her sink in the kitchen was blocked, the basin upstairs was blocked and it looks like there’s been a flood upstairs in the bathroom at one point coz all the paper on the ceilings is coming off. I got a bit upset actually because Mum’s really worried but Grandma’s being stubborn and won’t come and stay with us for a few nights until everything’s sorted.

The other thing was there was a mini explosion when Dad tried to switch the TV on. Grandma had wiped it down with water because it’d been smoke damaged. I hope she’ll be alright.