An iron mark on the carpet and scally lads outside – 10th July 2000

Monday 10th This morning seemed to last for ages because the coach to take us Swing Band lot to London didn’t come until lunch so we had to do lessons. Hayley was still being a moody cow so I felt a bit sorry for Sarah when I had to leave her!

Keira Osborne, Emma Thornley, Christa East, Cat Elliot and I all claimed the back seat of the coach and had loads of room because we were by the emergency exit. The journey was really boring but I kept getting texts from Jake which helped ease the boredom every so often. Jake told me that he’s going to Florence tomorrow and should be in Prague on Friday. Then I did a quiz in someone’s Cosmopolitan magazine on my perfect holiday destination. Mine came out at Prague! How weird is that?!!

Cat sent Jake a quick message too saying she wished she was travelling around Europe and in his reply he told her that he’d happily swap with her cos he misses me! How sweet! 🙂

I sent him a message myself again later and told him not to chase any foreign girls or anything (I was only kidding) and he said, “HUH CHEEK – YOU KNOW I WOULDN’T EVER THINK ABOUT DOING ANYTHING LIKE THAT! : ( I’VE TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT I’M SENTIMENTAL! WE SHOULD BE IN THE SAME HOSTEL WE STAYED IN AT RADSTADT WITH SCHOOL.”

When we reached London, the coach driver took us all through the centre which was absolute torture for me cos there were so many signs with the word ‘Canada’ on them! We then took a wrong turning past Canada Water Station so I was reminded again of the fact Jake’s going off to be a ski instructor for 3 months! Then we went past Starbucks where we both go! 😦

I told Jake about it and he texted me back saying, “I TOLD YOU IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS… WHEN IN MCDONALD’S, FOR SOME REASON “TESS” WAS PRINTED ON THE SIDE OF BUS THAT WENT PAST! : ( V. UPSETTING! MISS YOU TOO!”

Then the realisation must have kicked in cos he then said, “WOW – SOOO WEIRD! THERE’S SO MUCH WEIRD STUFF GOING ON – NOT JUST NOW BUT ALL THAT STUFF WE LISTED IN THE DOG TOO! I’M NOT RELIGIOUS BUT SOMEONE UP THERE IS…” and then, “TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING! WE’VE DEFINITELY GOT SOMETHING SPECIAL! TRY NOT TO GET TOO UPSET! THIS IS HORRIBLE BUT IT’LL BE OVER SOON! : ) LOVE xJx”.

When we arrived at Rotherhithe Youth Hostel we were all given our room keys. I was sharing with the people I’d been sat with on the coach plus Maeve Ackerley. The room was 219 and wasn’t too bad at all. We had an iron mark on the carpet and scally lads outside the window but the beds were cool! There were 2 sets of 3 and they were sort of all piled up. I got the top bunk on mine!

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The cool beds and our cool Swing Band attire.

We didn’t do much all evening. We were either in our rooms or at the bar. Henry Rockwell fancies Maeve quite a lot so he was in our room most of the time too!

I had some last night messages from Jake on the subject of Canada. He said he’d love me to go and see him while he’s there and I said I wish I could but I can’t really see it happening. Then he said, “I REALLY WANT YOU TO COME BUT IT’S A LONG TIME TIL I GO! IF THERE’S ANY WAY YOU COULD COME IN FEB HALF TERM THEN I’M TAKING YOU! YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO STAY IN MY ROOM ALL OF THE TIME… JUST SOME OF IT!”

That would be so good cos I can’t possibly last 3 months without him and not go mad or something but it’d be expensive and I’ve got college and stuff. I suppose we’ll have to see.

Bye!

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I was so relieved that he’s still alive! – 5th July 2000

Wednesday 5th 🙂 Okay, I’m a bit happier now that I was yesterday! The reason being that Jake sent me a message at 7:42 am explaining why he hasn’t been in touch. He told me, “HELLO! HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO TEXT U COS THERE R NO PLUG SOCKETS IN THE HOSTELS AND MY PHONE WAS DEAD! I’M PLUGGED IN IN A CAFÉ NOW! HOPE U GET WELL SOON!…” and then he said, “I’LL PHONE YOU TONIGHT! I’M TIRED – SLEPT ON A BEACH LAST NIGHT! AND I’M V. BURNT! LOVE YOU LOADS!!! xxx JAKE xxx”.

I was so relieved that he’s still alive! I then asked him if he got the message with Ed’s number on. He said, “YEH I GOT THAT MSG! – SORRY I’M LATE REPLYING – I HAVE TO KEEP TURNING MY PHONE OFF TO SAVE THE BATTERY! YEH – WE’RE SAT IN A CAFÉ ON THE GRAND PRIX CIRCUIT!…” then, “WE’VE JUST WALKED THE WHOLE CIRCUIT! ARE YOU STILL ILL? I’M SO BURNT! OW! LOVE xJx”.

The next message I sent was just asking if he’d got the messages Gethin sent him and he said, “YEH – TELL HIM I GOT EM BUT THE NETWORK I WAS ON WOULDN’T LET ME SENT ANY BACK! THESE DAYS SEEM SO LONG! – ONLY BEEN GONE 4 DAYS – SEEMS LIKE WEEKS! LOVE YOU! xxx”

The next message I got after I’d told him I was bored said, “I’M SAT WRITING YOUR FIRST OF MANY POSTCARDS! WHAT’S YOUR POSTCODE? WISH YOU WERE HERE NOW – IT’S SO NICE HERE AND I WANT TO SEE YOU!…”

Yeah, that’s right, just rub in the fact that you’re somewhere nice and I’m stuck here, why don’t you?!! Anyway, then he said, “KEEP SMELLING MY WATCH STRAP COS IT SMELLS SO NICE! : ) YOU’D BETTER GET WELL BEFORE VALKENBURG! ME n CHARLIE HAVE JUST FOUND IT ON A RAIL MAP! CAN’T WAIT! LOVE xJx”.

I then told him that I’d found out that Sarah’s mum wouldn’t have minded if we’d swapped beds on Friday and that Denny’s having an all night gathering and that Sarah’s very pissed off with Hayley for telling people stuff she’s read in Sarah’s diary. It spread over more than one message so Jake asked, “WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REST OF THAT MSG?? IF YOU WERE GONNA SAY WHAT I THOUGHT YOU WERE THEN WHY DIDN’T SHE SAY SO? CAN’T BELIEVE I HAD TO SLEEP WITH GETHIN! LOVE xJx”.

I sent him another telling him what it had said but he didn’t get that one either. I know cos he phoned at about 6:00 pm. He was telling me that they were going to go to a beach party but there’d been big bouncers with big dogs so they hadn’t bothered! They’re still being irritated by Charlie cos he’s not embarrassed to speak a foreign language to try and get them into a casino or onto a yacht! All he really told me was what they’ve been doing and how they’re going to Radstadt in Austria where we first went skiing.

Oh, I forgot to write down what Gethin told me Jake had been saying at Sarah’s on Friday. He said he wanted to end up married to me, that he only had eyes for me (that was linked to something about Canada) and that he covered his face with his hands (Gethin said he was close to tears!) and said he was going to miss me. There was other “lad stuff” but Gethin wouldn’t say what!

Bye!

98% on the sick-making factor – 16th June 2000

Friday 16th Late last night, Jake and I got onto the subject of the cowgirl look in text messages! I mentioned it first by telling him there were even more hats but no tops at the Trafford Centre or something. Anyway, I got a message from him saying, “THAT’S 2 WORDS OF 6 LETTERS BOTH BEGINNING WITH C! (1 IS A COUNTRY)!? MMM ALL I’M GONNA SAY IS IT WOULD MAKE MY DAY – OR NIGHT! LOVE YOU TOO!!! : ) xxx Jake xxx”. Those 2 words are obviously cowboy and Canada!

I then asked him what the perfect cowgirl outfit would be and he said, “MMM… THAT TOP OF COURSE (HAT OPTIONAL AND FOR PRIVATE VIEWING ONLY)! SLIGHTLY FLARED JEANS WITH PATTERNS DOWN LEG AND OPEN HIGH HEELED SHOES!…” and then, “I DON’T EXPECT ALL THAT THOUGH! DON’T WORRY IF THAT DESCRIPTION WAS VERY GRAPHIC – I DON’T THINK ABOUT IT THAT MUCH – HONEST! LOVE xJx : )”. Well, I’d been half asleep before he sent that message!

I had a Biology exam this morning which I’ve so obviously failed and then the Geography exam at the same time as Jake this afternoon. It wasn’t too bad cos he was sat about 5 desks in front of me on a different row. The exam though was awful! I was one mark off an A on the mock but I don’t even think I’ll have got a grade for the real thing! There were 2 questions on rivers and coasts, and 2 on climate. I’m better at the rivers stuff so I intended to do those but they were solid [really difficult] so I had to do the climate ones in the end.

Jake and I stayed for a while after the exams cos Gethin, Cat, Lizzie, Floyd and a few others were painting signs for the Millennium Celebrations in the village. Gethin threatened to spray paint me gold but Jake said I looked nice the way I am! Gethin decided that comment was 98% on the sick-making factor and he’s probably right! It was really sweet though.

Tonight we went to a party on the other side of Warrington. It was for a girl called Melanie’s birthday. Gethin knows her through Davis Nolan cos she used to stalk Gethin so we all go invited to keep him company. I knew a few people there from Davis’s parties but not many. It was still quite good though.

Sarah got together with Maz P and Gethin was jealous of one of them but wouldn’t say which (he’s bisexual)!! I sat on a kitchen stool with Jake for most of the night. We kissed a lot and there was a bit of 2 but it went unnoticed. I didn’t go in his pants, I stayed on the outside just in case. It continued later on the sofa but people kept walking in! I hope nobody saw us cos they’d have thought much more was going on, I think, although he wasn’t on top of me!

We left quite late and Jake drove us home. I sent him a message when I got in saying Sarah seemed pleased with her catch of Maz P and that I would’ve done pretty much anything had there not been loads of people about. That would probably have been true. He said, “GOOD!! I’M HAPPY FOR HER! DON’T KNOW WHY I’M SO TIRED – HAVEN’T WALKED ANYWHERE TONIGHT! I KNOW – WE’LL GET SOME PRIVACY ONE DAY! NIGHT NIGHT! LOVE YOU!!! : ) xJx”.

I’ve just remembered something he said at Melanie’s. My hip cracked or something when I moved and I said I must be falling apart and he said, “I’ll hold you together!” Soppy but sweet!

Bye!

I’m paranoid!! I can’t help it!! – 12th June 2000

Monday 12th I spoke to Miranda again very briefly this morning. I asked if she’d spoken to Robbie and how he was. She told me she had and that he seemed okay. At that point, I should’ve walked off faster cos she said that Robbie had told her something about Jake and what he drops in the bath. Her friend then put her hand over Miranda’s mouth and told her not to say anything cos it’s disgusting and would put me off. I told her to tell me anyway cos I’d be wondering what she was going to say for ages otherwise. She made me promise not to say anything and then told me that Jake leaves hairs in the bath and also on his wooden bedroom floor with bits from his feet! Yuk!! I’ll remember that if I ever want to put myself off the lad!

I had a conversation with Philip Daly this morning too. He was just saying how Floyd’s having a party at the weekend and stuff. At least he doesn’t think I hate him anymore!

Jake only came after college today so I only got about an hour with him before he went round to Gethin’s for tea. He said if he’d gone home he’d only have had to make his brother’s tea as well as his own and his sister only eats about 3 different things which makes it difficult!

We did some quiz out of the newspaper on him and it turned out as saying he’s “somewhat feminine”!

The fact the Jake and Gethin have become such good mates is nice cos it’s better than him not getting on with my friends but it also worries me greatly! When I’m not there, I know they discuss things that they wouldn’t when I’m around! I’m a bit bothered that Gethin interfering might push Jake into taking things further with me cos it’ll shut Gethin up, rather than cos he wants to. I’m also worried that he’ll discuss stuff we’ve already done and assess it or something!

Okay, so I’m paranoid!! I can’t help it!!

Bye!

Trouser equipment models – 10th & 11th June 2000

Saturday 10th I got a message from Jake this morning saying he’d been to Manchester. I think I remember him saying he was going for stuff for his Europe train thing. I don’t want him to go there either, although I don’t want to stop him!

Hayley phoned before. I said something about Jake not wanting to stay at home last night and she asked if it was his mum was worse or something. I ended up telling her what’s happened cos she’s known she’s been ill and, again, I didn’t want to lie. I still feel like I shouldn’t have said anything though.

Bye!

Sunday 11th Mum took me, Cat and Lizzie to the Sheffield Hallam open day. We got a puncture on the M62 and had to wait about 30 mins for the AA. We were 9 miles from Huddersfield (nearest place) and the AA man was from there (he said it’s good for nights out!). Mum reckons it’s a sign I should go there! At this point in time, I hope I can!

We finally arrived at Sheffield. I didn’t like the actual place much but the Collegiate Crescent campus is really nice. I think, so far, it’s my second choice after Huddersfield (if I have a choice).

We met up with an old friend of Cat’s called Claire. She seems nice. We wandered round, went to the Physiotherapy lecture then came home. I’ve decided I’m not that bothered if I don’t get to do Physiotherapy anymore.

I cut this out of a newspaper magazine cos I thought it was a bit odd the way at which some of it links with each other. →

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Jake’s Libra, I’m Scorpio, by the way. It’s probably bollocks and they probably all link if you think about them enough but never mind!

Gethin was telling me on the phone today that on Friday before we went out, Jake had been reading an FHM magazine. Apparently he’s spent most of his time looking at an article on some woman that makes blokes’ trouser equipment models out of clay and also an article on how to improve your kissing!

It’s the kissing one that interested me most cos Gethin said it was stuff about kissing necks and ears, and something about top and bottom lips. I did actually notice that Jake’s been kissing my neck and ears more recently! I’d rather he didn’t but I wonder if it FHM thing is why!!

Gethin also keeps going on about how I should get a cowboy hat etc. cos it’d really make Jake happy and that he’d do anything for me if I wore the gear! Gethin’s beginning to annoy me now by keeping on saying it but I have to say, if I had money, I’d be tempted to spend it on that!!

Bye!

He’s just got good taste, that’s all!! – 6th & 7th June 2000

Tuesday 6th Well, I successfully failed my first Biology module exam this afternoon! Hardly any of the stuff I’d revised was on the bloody paper! Typical!! I’ll just have to re-sit!

I need to see Jake! I just want a hug and a decent kiss off him! The problem is, 4 days is nothing compared to how long we’re going to be apart in the future! He sent Gethin a message today which included the words, “I MISS TESS!” Actually, that could’ve been one that he sent him last night that Gethin just decided to show me.

I found out that Philip Daly (Floyd’s brother in Year 7!) has admitted he’s bisexual and that he fancies Jake. I felt really sorry for him cos he’s been worrying that I hate him cos of that so I made sure I let him know that I didn’t! He’s just got good taste, that’s all!!

I’ve been reading the leaflet that came with the Dianette. There are tons of side effects. They’re all horrible blood clot things, weight gain, severe depression and stuff! I’m a bit worried actually!

Bye!

Wednesday 7th I was reunited with Jake again today! 🙂 There’s not really much to tell though. I only got quick kisses, no snogs, but at least I saw him! He had a Physics exam this afternoon (which he came out of saying he’d failed! I know the feeling!!) so he was revising this morning. There was one section in his textbook that involved the name ‘Bond’ and the word ‘tesla’ (whatever that is!) and he said he can remember that bit because it’s like Lizzie Bond and me!

Abby’s now going out with Connor Benson from kickboxing. His best mate, Chris T from kickboxing who she originally fancied, doesn’t know yet! I sense trouble! Wonder why?!

Bye!

We bought knickers and went back to the balcony – 30th & 31st May 2000

Tuesday 30th to Wednesday 31st Jake, Gethin, Hayley, Sarah and I all went for a trip to the Trafford Centre on Tuesday. My mum gave us all a lift there because Jake’s car had been in the garage. That part I wasn’t particularly looking forward to cos I thought my mum’d say something to embarrass me in front of Jake! In actual fact, it wasn’t too bad! Everyone kept pretty quiet!

Gethin was the one who really led the shopping trip cos the rest of us have no money so we just followed him about. He wanted a sarong to wear as a joke on the next Swing Band trip but couldn’t find one so then he moved onto cowboy hats in Topshop. He kept putting them on me, Sarah and Hayley, and then when we’d gone out of the shop, he and Jake were sort of whispering behind us and eventually said they’d buy cowboy hats for me and Sarah.

We thought that was a great idea until we realised it was a bit odd. We eventually got it out of Jake that both of them had ‘a thing’ about cowboy hats on girls! He said it’s really the only thing they’ve got in common! I also found out later that Jake likes the whole cowgirl look. I assume he means with hat, boots and probably like the suede bra thing with a fringe that I tried on in Topshop before I realised what was going on! He didn’t see me in that though.

We next took a trip into Boots to get a photo done in the booth of all 5 of us. →

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We didn’t want crappy little ones so we tortured ourselves by getting 5 separate big ones done so we could all have a decent sized one! It got very hot and sweaty in there and also very painful after a while!

Sarah and Hayley went off for a drink in Starbucks so I followed the lads. I kept losing Jake to any Quiksilver stuff! He’s so sad! He was looking at the most hideous shirt I’ve ever seen (bright orange with flowery things) and it was surrounded by perfectly nice shirts which he just ignored!

We eventually joined the others in Starbucks and sat on the table in the corner of the balcony. Hayley started to cry and said she wanted to go to New Look so, stupidly, I agreed to go with her. All I got was, “Oh, Andy, Andy, Andy!!” and “Why does he hate me?” you know, the usual stuff that I have to hear about 50 times a day!

We bought knickers and went back to the balcony. Then Sarah wanted to go to the same shop so I went again. She bought a cowboy hat and we went back to the lads. By then they’d overdosed on caffeine and Jake kept trying to make me wear the hat!

After that, we headed for the bus station. Hayley was whinging that she was a gooseberry again and that she’s on her own in the group cos there’s me and Jake, Gethin and Sarah, and Floyd and Cat (sort of!). Jake said something like, “I’ll have you!” He was joking (I think!) but it annoyed me cos it gave Hayley a smug smile.

I got pissed off on the way back too cos when we were waiting for a bus, Gethin sat between me and Jake, and then on the bus Hayley sat next to me.

We went back to the bus station near Jake’s so he could pick up his car and take us all back to Hayley’s village. I didn’t realise that it’d involve having to go in his house but it did! He’s got a nice house and a nice bedroom which makes mine look like a right tip! He’s got a dead good new mobile now which was on his bed. His new number’s 07989 ******.

I also had a look at his skis when he was taking them downstairs to show some woman who was talking to his dad. While he was gone, I noticed he had all my Valentine’s stuff that I gave to him and my postcard from skiing all on one shelf. He’s also got a toy bunny called Thumper in his bed (he tried to hide it!) and an old hedgehog puppet!

When we were downstairs in the kitchen, his dad came in to talk to us. He seems okay. Actually, he reminded me of Hugo a bit but I won’t be telling Jake that!

When Jake dropped me off at home so I could pick up my stuff for staying at Gethin’s, my dad came home and spoke to him briefly about his Beetle. That wasn’t too embarrassing either!

We had a good night at Gethin’s, except for Hayley who was constantly miserable and ended up in a mood with me cos I shouted at her to stop being so pathetic! She didn’t like to hear that!! I also had a good long chat with Lizzie cos she’s upset about Sarah and Hayley being bitchy towards her. I told her they’re totally out of order (which they are) and to at least try and ignore them cos she’s got plenty of other friends.

I was on the sofa with Jake for a long time and he kept trying to make me wear the hat again! He said he doesn’t know why he likes them! It was really nice just sitting there with him for that long. He’s recently taken to sucking my fingers if they go anywhere near his mouth (dunno why!) and I discovered that he likes having the back of his neck stroked.

Hayley’s departing words to me were, “It’s so nice to know who your friends are!” so I told her to fuck off and enjoyed the rest of the night! A good part of it was taken up with everyone slagging off Hayley which made me feel a bit less guilty when I realised I’m not the only one who really can’t stand her at the moment!

Eventually, Jake and I ended up lying on Gethin’s brother’s bed where we’d been told we could sleep. We were mostly just snogging but then…

[Really sorry everyone but I censored this bit before I went to uni for fear of my mum finding and reading my diaries whilst I was away. I’d done it on previous entries but can normally read through the black marker if I hold it up to the light. Unfortunately I did too good a job of crossing this bit out. I’ll try and read it in the daylight over the weekend but, to give you the gist for now, we both got up to number 3 of the Snogging Code if I remember rightly.]

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… barbeque ribs! I don’t think he saw anything!

We ate them all and cleaned up afterwards and then got back to kissing. I didn’t think anything else was going to happen with us cos he was making no attempt to try anything so I did! This time, I think stuff went over Gethin’s bro’s bed but then I wasn’t sure what stains were there already! The rest of the night passed leaving me wanting to crunch ice cubes and peel labels off bottles!

We both got a bit of sleep and then just lay there cuddling for hours in the morning. I really do love him.

Bye!