I think he’s beginning to think I’m a bit weird!! – 4th April 2000

Tuesday 4th Jake said he wasn’t going to be in today either because he had to do his Technology coursework but he came in anyway cos he had to get money off people for the College 2 leaving do which he’s organised.

He came in Karen’s car with me, Gethin and Sarah to McDonald’s at lunch and we went round his village again so I could see exactly which house he lives at (I was right). I think he’s beginning to think I’m a bit weird!! He went home after lunch though and I won’t see him tomorrow cos he’s not in college and I’m going to some thing about universities at the MEN Arena where we can get prospectuses and stuff.


He only ever tells me he’s done stuff after he’s done it. He’s probably worried I’ll tag along or something. Damn, I want to see what he looks like in swimming trunks too!

He asked me if I was going to the Trafford Centre with Gethin and Emma at the weekend. I am going so he said, “YEH, I’LL GO THEN! BUT DON’T BLAME ME IF WE GET LOST ON THE WAY! WE’LL GET TO SEE EACH OTHER TOO : ) LOVE J x”.

This is so bad! It’s awful when I have a day without seeing him so how the hell am I going to cope with 3 months and possibly more??!!




I have been planning to get Jake properly pissed – 31st March 2000

Friday 31st Sarah, Floyd and Jake came here tonight for a while. Floyd said we’ve got a nice house! We intended to go to Floyd’s later but his parents decided to stay in so we ended up at Emma’s. Gethin and Keira were there too.

For a while, Sarah and I have been planning to get Jake properly pissed because people keep telling me stories about him when he’s drunk and I’ve never seen him like that. Plus it’d give me a chance to ask questions that I wouldn’t normally ask. So, Sarah challenged him to a vodka drinking contest and he accepted it! It worked too!

We had to get out of Emma’s house in the end cos her parents were due back so we all headed for Floyd’s village. I was messing with Jake’s phone and came across Mr R’s (an Art teacher) number. There was also another staff number (from the Art trip) which he said was Miss T’s (a Tech teacher) who he reckons is fit. (She’s short and round!)

I was a bit drunk too so I started winding him up by accusing him of having an affair with Mr R and saying I’d have to dump him. He was going all soppy and telling me not to. It took us ages to get down Crofters Lane cos I told him to go and stand in a field while I spoke to Hugo Pratt (he phoned) and he did so I had to go and get him. Then he stopped and kept kissing me so I couldn’t speak to Hugo so we hung up and snogged for ages.

As we were going past the school, Sarah got upset. It was just cos she was drunk and she started worrying that she was getting like her grandad (an alcoholic) and saying she was a hypocrite for moaning when other people got drunk. To cheer her up, we went to the chippy. I didn’t get anything. It was freezing cold outside so Jake and I just stood there and cuddled (and snogged)!

Everyone else went home after food but we didn’t want to just yet so we stood outside The Plough. I didn’t want to go in cos one of the barmaids knows me so I was being stubborn and stood outside. He headed inside but changed his mind and came back to me and put his cold hands on my back to try and make me go in. I did eventually.

We sat and talked for ages, mostly about Canada. He said he doesn’t want to go as much as he did when he booked it because of me and he said he’ll write every day. I asked him what if he finds the love of his life out there cos he could get away with anything. He assured me that he wouldn’t dream of going with [snogging] anyone else. Hmmm! He told me his 2 loves are me and skiing but I’m rated highest! 🙂

The barmaid made us leave eventually so we phoned a taxi and went and sat on a bench by the library. He told me I was pretty more than once and said I was sweet when I told him I really do like him and he also kept telling me I’m funny. I think it’s in a way that I don’t mean to be, he just finds some of the daft little things I say amusing!

As we were sat there, we saw Lara Beale. He called her a slag for some reason! I found out he went out with her for about 2 months and that she was his first girlfriend. Then he mentioned her being a nymphomaniac so I asked how he knew and if Hugo had really been lying. He assured me that Hugo was lying and that she used to just jump all over him all the time and stuff but that he never slept with her. I asked why not and he said that he would’ve done if she’d had her way but that he just hadn’t been ready.

Then I forced myself to ask the question that I’ve been dying to know the answer to for ages which was if he had ever slept with anyone. I got the answer I wanted which was no. I asked why not again and he told me he’d just not been ready and that he just hadn’t found the right person before. Good!

He phoned for a taxi eventually but it took ages so I said I might as well just walk home. I wasn’t being serious but he put his foot down and said he wouldn’t let me do that cos it’s dangerous! I then saw Matt Brand that lives a few doors down and said I should get in his taxi. Jake pointed out that there was no room so I said I’d just I’d have to sit on Matt’s knee! He said I could sit on his knee in our taxi and that I wasn’t getting in Matt’s cos he gets really easily jealous. Good!

When I got home, we sent each other messages for a while. There were some good ones from him. He commented on the bench that sometimes I seemed dead casual about us so I sent him one apologising. His reply was, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I KNOW YOU CARE ABOUT STUFF! I’M STILL SHIVERING – SHAME YOU’RE NOT HERE TO KEEP ME WARM!!! LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD – EVEN SKIING! xxx”.

I sent one back saying I wished I was there too and asked if he meant it about “even skiing” cos I’m not so sure! His reply was, “OK SLIGHT EXAGGERATION BUT YOU IN A SKI RESORT REALLY WOULD DO IT FOR ME! I WANT TO BE WITH YOU ALL THE TIME!! LOVE YOU FOREVER JAKE xxxxx : )”.

I asked him what exactly it would do for him and he said, “IT TURNS ME ON OF COURSE!! I’M SORRY, I’M GOING TO MISS U LOADS TOO : ( I FEEL SAD JUST THINKING ABOUT IT! NIGHT NIGHT! LOVE YOU LOTS N LOTS! J xxxxxxxxxxxxxx”. I’m not sure what he said sorry for.

He’s soooo nice!! I think he’s better when he’s pissed! Mind you, he still didn’t try anything.


I’m way too sweet and innocent!! – 29th & 30th March 2000

Wednesday 29th I didn’t see much of Jake during college today cos he took Hayley, Floyd and Freda to McDonald’s at lunchtime. I was asked but I didn’t have enough money. I didn’t think they’d sit in though. He hung around with me after college though but I still had to walk home!

All my mates went to Floyd’s tonight but it was my kickboxing grading so I couldn’t go. I go a nice message off Jake (he wasn’t there either) saying, “HELLO!! : ) I HOPE YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO WAIT LONG!? HAVE A GOOD TIME BEATING YOUR SIS UP AT KICKBOXING!! LOVE YOU TO BITS : ) JAKE xxxxx”. Yet again, the ending was the best part!

I passed the grading and I am now a yellow belt. The bloke who was grading us is so stretchy! He was doing box splits right down and then stretching forward. It wasn’t that nice to look at – too painful!


Thursday 30th It was really sunny today so we all abandoned the common room and sat on the school field this afternoon. Jake came down last lesson. We stayed on our own after college for a while when everyone else had gone and just talked. We should’ve taken the opportunity to have a good kiss but we didn’t for some reason. Freda and Julian yelled, “That wasn’t much of a goodbye kiss!” as we were leaving and just kissed quickly on the lips.

Apparently at Floyd’s last night, Gethin was commented on us too saying that he wished we’d just hurry up and shag and things like that. Sarah told him that Jake’s too shy to take it further. I’m not sure I want to do anything like that just yet anyway. I’m way too sweet and innocent!!

I can’t remember if I’ve written this before but Sarah told me that Jake bought my Valentine’s rose in Selfridges and apparently they’re really expensive in there.


It’s pretty unlikely that I’m pregnant – 28th March 2000

Tuesday 28th I’ve not been in a very happy mood today. There was more than one occasion when I just felt like crying.

Hayley was pissing me off because she was going on about Andy and his sad little friends (they keep doing anonymous calls to my phone) and then after she’d had a long chat with Georgia about it (which I’d kept out of cos I’m sick to the back teeth of hearing about him), she asked me if I was in a mood with her cos she’d spoken to Georgia and ignored me.

What annoyed me was the fact she thought I’d be as pathetic as her! She only thought I was in a mood cos that’s exactly how she’d have reacted if it was the other way round. In actual fact, I’m quite glad she’s found someone else to bore with the subject of Andy!!

Gethin was also pissing me off cos he was in a bitchy mood again. He tells you to stop being so miserable and if you weren’t being then that annoys you so it makes you seem like you’re miserable and makes him sound like he’s right. That’s what he was doing to me, although I was already miserable so he just made me worse! Follow?!

An extra little worry is that my period’s over a week late and that’s not very common for me. I mean, somehow I think it’s pretty unlikely that I’m pregnant seeing as I’ve not had sex or anything but I can’t tell Mum that I’m late cos all the teenage soap stars seem to be breeding at the moment so she’d only think the worst!! I hope it’s nothing serious.

Got a lift off Mum home after college and I saw Jake’s mum pick his sister up at the layby where I was stood. Her car’s a pinky-red VW Polo (for future reference). Jake’s still not said anything about her being ill and neither has anyone else so I’ve no idea what’s going on.

Skiing stuff keeps coming on TV. That reminds me of Jake going to Canada. I don’t want to (and can’t) stop him going but I can’t bear the thought of him leaving. I also really want to go skiing myself!


Sad cow!! – 27th March 2000

Monday 27th Went to the Trafford Centre tonight with Mum, Abby and Sarah in search of a pair of jeans and a jacket for the summer. I only got jeans though from Gap.

Sarah and I went in French Connection and as soon as we walked in she told me to sniff. I did and I could smell Jake so we were smelling all the fragrances to see which one it was. It was a FCUK once but I don’t know which. I’ve sprayed it on my wrists and can’t stop sniffing it now. I’m not sure that’s what he wears but it smells like it. Mmm!

Hayley embarrassed me in front of Jake after college by telling him that every time we were talking about Andy on Saturday, I kept saying Canada instead of Germany. What really annoyed me though was when I mentioned Sarah wanting to come to Valkenburg with Swing Band if Emma’s parents won’t let her go (because of her tongue piercing), and Hayley started going on about how she doesn’t want Sarah to go because we’ll all come back and go on about it in front of her like we always do cos she can’t go.

Bollocks! That is so selfish! If she was going and Sarah wasn’t, she wouldn’t think twice about “going on about it”. Mind you, Hayley wouldn’t come in the first place cos I don’t think she ever leaves the Warrington area without her WHOLE family. Sad cow!!

Jake said it’s pretty definite he’ll join us on the Swing Band trip. Yeah!!


I was smiling so much I couldn’t eat my Shredded Wheat!! – 25th March 2000

Saturday 25th Went to Warrington with Mum in search of boxing gloves and jeans but we were unsuccessful.

Hayley came round tonight because she wanted my help composing a message to Andy. She didn’t in the end cos I did one from my phone asking why he’d lied and stuff. She might do it later.

I send Jake a message earlier telling him I was considering doing my hair Mel C style [as in the video below] only green at the hairdressers tomorrow!


Later, I sent him an unfinished message by accident so I sent another explaining why it didn’t make sense and that I couldn’t remember what I was going to say but it was probably how much I love him. I got one off him then saying, “YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY : ) IS HAYLEY STILL THERE? HAS SHE SORTED THE ANDY THING OUT?? NIGHT NIGHT! LOTS OF LOVE JAKE xxxxx”. This time it was the beginning of the message I liked. I was smiling so much I couldn’t eat my Shredded Wheat!!

It’s nice to see he’s concerned about my mates too. He’s sooooo lovely!!! The whole Andy thing’s made me realise how lucky I’ve been with Jake so far. I still can’t believe he actually likes me!!



No physical contact whatsoever – 24th March 2000

Thursday 24th Jake was at on open day at Huddersfield University all day so he wasn’t in college. We had to make do with text conversations.

At lunch, Karen took me, Hayley, Sarah and Gethin to McDonald’s. We took a detour round Lizzie’s village on the way back so I could see where Jake lives. I think I did. I think it was Ivor Ward who said he lives at number 17. I saw that house too. He gets the same bus as Lizzie who lives in the next close so it probably was him who lives there.

Then, when we got back towards school, we bombed it down Hodge Drive. It’s dead good cos the road’s full of holes and stuff so you bounce about everywhere! The 3rd time we did it, we went the other way. We were just saying how it wasn’t as good and then we went down a hole and the car took off! Gethin nearly went through the sunroof!

Hayley knows Andy’s not in Germany cos his mate told Georgia they were going to LA Bowl tonight so Hayley considered going. I suggested this to Jake and got a text back saying, “YOU’VE GOT TO BE JOKING RIGHT? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK ANDY ISN’T IN GERMANY? IF I WAS ANY BIGGER I’D TWAT HIM MYSELF! I HATE LA BOWL!!!!!! LOVE JAKE xxxxx”. It just made me laugh, the thought of him twatting someone!

I ended up going to the cinema tonight with just Jake because Gethin wasn’t going so Sarah wouldn’t go so Floyd wouldn’t go! I thought it’d be really awkward but it wasn’t at all. When we got there, he paid for the tickets (I did offer to pay for mine) and we sat down for a bit cos we were too early.

I saw Lizzie’s ex-boyfriend Brett Massey with his mate Stoned Rob (he looks stoned and he’s called Rob!) and they spoke to me for a bit until Keira came over with some lad for a chat.

The film Jake and I saw was American Beauty. It was funny but a bit weird. I had no physical contact whatsoever until we got into the car park afterwards and he held my hand. We just came straight home afterwards and I got a snog just before I got out of the car. He’s so nice!! I suppose I should be glad he’s never tried anything instead of forcing himself on me but sometimes I wish he would!!