Why the hell he’s chosen me, I don’t know! – 9th February 2000

Wednesday 9th I still can’t believe the whole Jake thing! It’s just not sinking in. He’s a babe, right, and a nice lad to go with that and he could have pretty much anyone he wanted so why the hell he’s chosen me, I don’t know!

The first time I saw him today was at morning break. He came into our common room and sat down. I couldn’t actually speak to him for a few minutes because I was trapped in a corner surrounded by chairs and stuff and I also couldn’t think of much to say. When I got the chance though, I went and sat by him. Most of the people in the room were staring or grinning at us which made it even more awkward. We did speak a bit but then the bell went.

I was asked to go to the pub again at lunch but I didn’t because I wasn’t told that Jake was going. He actually did and Emma told me later about their little chat. She asked him if we were seeing each other and he nodded and said yes. She then asked if I knew about this and he said he didn’t know so she told him he’d better talk to me. He just said that I didn’t talk much. I don’t talk much?! Excuse me, Jake, but who’s been the one who’s had to make attempts at making conversation? Me!!

I don’t know if Emma actually said more than she let on to me but, after school, he came up to our common room again and sat with me and Emma. We chatted for a bit and then she went home. Then Jake said suddenly, “Can I talk to you out there for a minute, Tess?” and pointed to the big assembly room. I followed him out there and asked what was up.

The conversation went something like this:-

Jake: (really quietly) You know I really like you?
Me: Well, erm… I have been told that actually.
Jake: I just thought I’d better say so myself just in case you think I’m not interested. It’s just that I’m a bit shy.
Me: Yeah well, I’m not much better!
J: So….. (looked like he was waiting for me to say something)
Me: (guessed what it was and said…) Well yeah, I like you and all.
J: (looked relieved) It’s just really awkward with all your mates about.
Me: I know. Sorry! They all just sit there and stare at us.
J: So, what you doing on Friday night?
Me: I’m not sure yet. My mates want to just go to the pub or something so…. erm…
J: I was just wondering if you wanted to go to the pictures or something.
Me: Erm… well, Friday’s not definite so I can always do that instead.
J: No, it’s okay, I sort of want to go out too. We can always do the pictures on Monday.
Me: Yeah, okay, I’ll check with people and we can so we can sort it out tomorrow.
J: Right, okay. Erm… see you tomorrow then.

At that point he kissed me on the lips once (like I got at morning break too, except he held my hands then) but then he did it again and we ended up snogging. I’ve been wanting to do that with him all week! We said bye again and headed in opposite directions. He grabbed my hand and slowly released it as we were walking off. Yet again, I couldn’t stop smiling!

At the moment, I dread the thought of going to the cinema on my own with him because of the sheer awkwardness. I’d rather he came out to the pub then I can get drunk and break the ice even more. I’ll see what he says tomorrow.

I don’t know how long this is going to last but every time I see him I end up liking him even more. I don’t think he realised though which is why I need to have a couple of drinks around him so I won’t care about telling him stuff!

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I sacrificed half a plate of chips and gravy – 8th February 2000

Tuesday 8th I didn’t see Jake until lunchtime and when I was sat in the canteen, I didn’t think I’d see him all day and I was a bit disappointed. Then when I was least expecting it, Emma marched into the canteen and asked me if I wanted to go to the pub with her, Big Paul and Jake. I must really like him because I sacrificed half a plate of chips and gravy to go along!

Big Paul and Jake were waiting outside the college for us. Jake looked really gorgeous in his big white fleece, jeans and scruffy Pod trainers. We went in Big Paul’s car and headed for somewhere near town but changed our minds and ended up in The Plough. We just sat there talking. The lads had a pint each and Emma and I just at chips [Again?!] and chocolate (not at the same time!).

On the way back, Jake told us that his Beetle car was his dad’s but he was going to sell it in a couple of months to pay for his Canada trip. As soon as he mentioned that, my stomach sank. His A Level exams aren’t that far off so he’ll probably go after those which doesn’t give us much time. I’d better make the most of him now and try to put Canada to the back of my mind. 😦

When we got back to college, Emma and Big Paul went off somewhere so Jake and I walked in together. When we went past his little common room, all his mates were grinning and waving at him. I wonder what they think of us. I was already late for Sports Studies and he was off to the Trafford Centre so we had to say goodbye. He kissed me on the lips again, really nicely and for a few seconds longer than he did yesterday. I just wanted to snog the lad but there were quite a lot of people about so I managed to just about control myself! I really, really, really like him now!

Cat told me today that one of his mates said he really likes me. That’s quite a few people who’ve said that now. I want to know what he’s been saying!

People keep saying we make a really sweet couple and asking if we’re going out. When I say no, they ask if we’re seeing each other. I then have to say, “ Well… sort of, I suppose” because I really don’t know. One person that asked was Sian Dell in Swing Band after school. I asked how she knew and she told me that, in their Geography lesson, Jake wouldn’t tell them who he met [snogged] on Friday or something but they eventually got it out of him. So now nearly everyone knows but I really don’t care cos I really like him!

I’ve just received a text from Sarah saying, “BEEN WONDERING IF I SHOULD TELL U THIS ALL NITE… PROMISE U WON’T SAY ANYTHING? HAYLEY THINKS  U R GONNA GO OFF WITH EMMA + JAKE NOW. THAT’S SO SELFISH OF HER DON’T U THINK?” I might have known Hayley’s possessive side would show itself. It’s pathetic! She’s so paranoid all the time. I wish she’d sort herself out.

Yet again she needs a bloody good kicking! I can tell you now that if Andy was at our college, we wouldn’t be seeing much of her. I hate the fact that it seems as if in Hayley’s perfect world, I wouldn’t have any friends other than her and certainly no boyfriends. It’s so sad! Actually, I bet it’s a slight touch of jealousy too because, before me and Jake, she got loads of attention and she’s been getting less now people keep asking about me and him and saying we make a nice couple and stuff.

I’ve also noticed this week that she’s been telling people about the intimate things she and Andy say to each other and also she’s been constantly moaning she feels ill. It does get her more attention too so she’s bound to continue it.

BYE!

My heart sped up extremely rapidly – 7th February 2000

Monday 7th I usually get to college about 20 minutes before lessons start so, once the bell had gone for 1st lesson, I thought I’d got away without seeing Jake, for the morning at least. I was wrong. I didn’t have Sports Studies 1st lesson as normal because Mr P-K isn’t in because he’s messed up his knee badly so I just sat about in the common room.

Emma told me this morning that Jake said on Friday that he’s liked me since Austria (I’m still in shock about this!) and I was just in the process of telling Hayley, Sarah and Cat about that when Hayley said, “I’d shut up if I were you”. I didn’t really know what she was on about so I turned round to have a look, only to see Jake walking and smiling across the common room towards me.

My mates all ran off to their lesson so my heart sped up extremely rapidly and my hands started shaking when I realised I was going to be left alone with him.

We talked for a whole hour! There was the odd awkward silence and he admitted he wasn’t very talkative but we were getting on alright, just talking about college and stuff that happened at the party. He’s so nice!

Of course, we had Gethin and Emma and various other people walking past and grinning or blowing kisses and stuff but I didn’t really care. I was quite relieved when someone like Gethin came and talked to us for a few minutes because it usually started up something new to talk about.

He asked for my mobile number at one point and sat on a chair right next to me. I gave it him and I’ve got his now too. His mobile number is: 078** ******. I also found out he lives in Lizzie’s village.

The time actually passed quite quickly before the bell went for 2nd lessons and he had to go. I wasn’t expecting it but, as he was getting up to go, he leaned in and kissed me on the lips. After that, I couldn’t stop smiling all morning!

I saw him briefly on the way to Biology and said hello before he and Sarah managed to collide with each other going through the door. I’m just glad that wasn’t me he walked into!

When I went up to the common room at lunch, Jake was already up there talking to Big Paul. Sarah and I headed for the canteen and Jake followed. He asked if I wanted to go to McDonald’s with him but I told him I’d promised Sarah I’d go in the canteen with her. I actually had but I also still hadn’t calmed down after being sat with him for a lot of the morning and I don’t want to start ignoring my friends either. He went off somewhere then and I didn’t see him again until after school.

I was up in the common room, sat on the cupboard, talking to Gethin and I heard someone say, “She’s in there”. I knew it was him so I leapt off the cupboard and sat on a chair next to him. We talked a bit but not as much as this morning because other people were talking to us as well. He seemed to find it amusing when I told Gethin to take his pants [Trousers!] off and show us how he could turn them into a bag though!

He offered to give me a lift home so I accepted because it was raining. We waited for the school buses to go then left. His car’s a really ancient blue thing so everyone can see him coming. It was a bit awkward again but it didn’t take long to get home. We saw Emma and Big Paul driving the other way and they saw me so no doubt I’ll get questioned by them in the morning!

He dropped me off in The Green Dragon car park, we kissed quickly and I left, smiling AGAIN!!

I really like him. I just wish it wasn’t awkward. I also hope he doesn’t just start asking me to go out of school at lunch because I’d rather go in the canteen with my mates at the moment but I don’t like saying no to him.

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I always felt really guilty afterwards – 3rd February 2000

Thursday 3rd Sarah and I sneaked off to the Trafford Centre today after 2nd lesson (we had frees for the rest of the day). We sneaked because we didn’t want Lizzie to come with us due to the fact she’s a total pain! She’s been nasty to Sarah for ages (although I don’t think she realises sometimes that stuff she says hurts her feelings) and she’s snogged Gethin (who Sarah fancies) loads of times even though she knows Sarah likes him and she repeats herself over and over and over just to make sure everybody knows whatever it is.

I did feel a bit guilty about leaving Lizzie behind but we had quite a good day. I bought a Celtic pattern ring and a black fleecy thing. We saw Ralph Christopherson too! I used to be really good mates with him and he really fancied me and I sort of liked him like that too but nothing ever came of it. He turned into a bit of a prick though and left school to go to a catering college. He was working in FT5K though today. He stopped and did say hi.

I’ve just found out that, at LA Bowl tonight, Lizzie snogged Gethin again. Hayley rang me and told me and I’ve just had a text from Freda saying, “HI. LIZZIE IS SUCH A WHORE WITH NO FEELINGS!” I took it that it was Lizzie and Gethin that triggered that off. I mean, I’ve snogged lads drunk and I always felt really guilty afterwards. Lizzie’s always sober, never seems to show any sign of a conscience and goes on about what happened in graphic details in front of anyone and everyone!

BYE!

The Love Web of Doom – 2nd February 2000

Wednesday 2nd It’s James Douglas’s (or Dougie, as he’s more commonly known) birthday today but I forgot. I was going to get a card for him from the petrol station when I skived Biology (because they got the locusts out. AARRGGHH!!) but I got side-tracked doing ‘The Love Web of Doom’ on the whiteboard in our common room with Cat so, in the end, I forgot again! I just wished him happy birthday instead.

The Love Web of Doom (as it was named by Gethin) is just a daft thing we’ve been doing in free periods when we’re bored. We write a name and then draw lines from that person to link them to other people who they fancy or have snogged and then the same for those other people. We filled the whole board.

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There was a link from me to this lad called Nathan (who I snogged) and from him to Emma also (because she’s snogged him too) and at break we caught Patrick Campbell changing Nathan’s name to his own. Stuart Hobbs told us that it’s because he wishes Emma and I fancy him!

I sent another text to Reevesy today out of pure boredom. It said, “HELLO! I’M BORED SO I THOUGHT I’D JUST TEXT U. ROSES R RED, MY COAT IS BLACK, I WANT U 2 HAVE ME, FLAT ON MY BACK!! TEXT ME BACK I CAN’T STAND THE BOREDOM! TESS xxx” I got one back saying, “OK! BUT U BETTER GIVE A GOOD RIDE!”

After I got that, the thought of Reevesy totally repulsed me so I sent him one back saying, “I’M SORRY! I DIDN’T SEND THAT LAST MESSAGE. IT’S TRUE I’M BORED THOUGH COS I’M STUCK IN A LESSON. I’D BETTER GO B4 TEACHER SEES ME DOING THIS! FEEL FREE TO TEXT ME. xx” A while layer I got a rather odd message from his phone saying, “KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY LOVER. HE’S MINE BITCH!” Hmmm… it’s got to have been one of his mates because I doubt he’s got a girlfriend!!

BYE!

I’ve reached my full potential – 28th January 2000

Friday 28th I was informed by Hayley and Lizzie at college today that at bowling, as I bent over to bowl, Stuart Hobbs said, “She’s got a nice arse!” Also, Freda is said to have agreed with him! She probably did because she’s been pretending (we think!) that she fancies me for a while now! Why did it have to be Stuart who said that? He’s a geek! Just my luck! [I was desperate for geek attention a few days before!]

I went to the cinema tonight with Lizzie, Cat, Hayley, Emma, Gethin and Big Paul. We went to see the film ‘Stigmata’. It was a bit weird but quite good. Afterwards, Emma, Gethin, Big Paul and I went back to Emma’s village. Gethin went home but the rest of us went in The Plough for a drink. Emma and Big Paul are sort of a couple so I was actually quite glad when Stuart and Brian Short turned up.

We got talking about Valentine’s Day and somehow got onto the subject of Patrick Campbell. I was then told by Stuart that Patrick used to ‘have a thing’ for me and was always saying that I had really nice eyes.

Later on, a large crowd arrived from The Dog which included my sister. She’s going to be embarrassed tomorrow because she started talking to Pallav, Jez and Robert (who are in my year) and then telling them all she fancies Powell Manning who they’re mates with. Ha ha ha!!! It serves her right for getting drunk!

BYE!

P.S. Just remembered – Emma was saying how my hair looked nice and she said that this American lad, Davis Nolan, agreed. She said he’s been saying for ages that I had serious potential to look good and now I’ve reached my full potential. Nice of him to say so [hmmm], it’s just a shame he’s not someone I fancy as usual!

It’s nice to know I have that effect on somebody! – 27th January 2000

Thursday 27th 

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Tessa Jane Simpson
Aged 17
2000
17th diary

Well, I’ve got a new diary but I’ve not got much new to write in it.

I went to LA Bowl this evening with Lizzie Bond, Cat Elliot, Freda Fernandez, Bridget Linehan, Zoe Carrera, Hayley Pearson, Chloe Gomez, Denzel Chadwick, Stuart Hobbs and Julian Olsen. It was so boring! I didn’t really want to go in the first place because I’ve been so much recently but Hayley talked me into it in the end.

If I hadn’t have gone, something interesting would’ve happened but seeing as I went, nothing did! I got a score of 137 on a game of bowling and the people who are on some league team commented how good it was but that was about the only thing that happened.

This lad called Andy Winston who Hayley’s kind of seeing (and don’t we all bloody well know it!) turned up with his mates and she went off with him. That kept her happy but the rest of us were bored stiff!

There’s one lad called Reevesy who used to go out with Zoe but dumped her because he fancies me, and the other night I rang him up and sent him a text message from my phone apologising for waking him up (see 16th diary). Well, Zoe told me tonight that he was really chuffed when I rang (I didn’t even say much!) and even more so when he got my text message. It’s nice to know I have that effect on somebody!

BYE!

P.S. Recently, I’ve also been sending texts to a lad called Amir who swims with Lizzie. They were just mess-about ones saying I was in love with him and stuff. He sent some back too. Anyway, last night he was talking about it and he’s decided I’m a bit mad. Great, I bet he thinks they were serious! I think I might just stop sending them now!