He’s bloody well learning to snowboard – 5th February 2001

Monday 5th
8 weeks + 3 days to go!

I managed to avoid Robbie today. I did see him but didn’t look him in the eye cos I have no idea how annoyed he is with me.

After college, Jake’s dad turned up at our house. He just dropped off a book for me about Barcelona but he stayed for a drink with Mum, Dad and me in the kitchen, talking about his trip to Peru and stuff. I didn’t know he was going to call round. Maybe he feels guilty and is trying to make up for it or something!

Jake phoned at about 7:40pm. I thought he’d been shadowing an instructor all morning but it turns out he’d been snowboarding instead. He said the people who could snowboard had to teach the people who couldn’t, including him. I am extremely pissed off cos that’s dashed all my hopes of being able to ski OR snowboard with him now he can do both. It’s just not fair!

He promised me he wouldn’t do any boarding so we could both learn together because neither of us could do it. It’s just ruined it now. I love skiing and unless I want to be completely shown up by him then I can’t do that with him (and I can’t afford to go on my own and have no friends who can do it) and now he’s bloody well learning to snowboard too so he’s gonna have a head start in that too.

In fact, his exact words in an email I got on Fri 26th Jan were: “We’ll both learn to snowboard together!!! 😦 I’m not touching a board while I’m here cos the chance of killing myself increases by about 3 times!!!” I’m just so disappointed cos I really did want to do that, especially with him.

Sarah and I (plus a few others) were thinking of going and having boarding lessons at Sheffield and I didn’t tell Jake cos I thought he might get lessons himself to catch up with me. If I go now then he’s going to think I’m just doing it to copy him! 😦 I suppose I should still do it but I liked the thought of being able to do something cool that he couldn’t. Now I can’t.

I’ve been considering sending a 2nd mail to him tonight telling him all this and asking him why he hung up so quickly tonight on the phone without saying he loves me or anything but I don’t know if I should cos last time I told him how I was feeling, he got all funny with me. I think I’ll just leave it and hope he phones tomorrow night then I can tell him then instead.

Bye!

P.S. I just mailed Jake again! I tried to be nice! Hotmail seemed to be playing up a bit so I hope he can read them and send one back alright! 😦

Today’s emails →

05-02-01 Jake email05-02-01 Tess email 105-02-01 Tess email 2

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I’m probably never going to want to go to his house again – 3rd February 2001

Saturday 3rd
8 weeks + 5 days to go!

Normally the weekend days go pretty slowly but today’s gone quite fast for a change. I was in town with my mum for a while though, taking stuff to the charity shop and getting holiday brochures for Barcelona. I only managed to get one with it in it though but there’s quite a big section. Ooh, I’m getting excited already!

I’ve remembered some more stuff about last night. Robbie started asking me where I was going to go to uni and I said I wasn’t sure cos I didn’t know why he was asking. Then he told me he thinks I should go to Huddersfield with Jake! That was quite nice to hear actually. Also, he said that the letter he’d read from Jake to me was really quite sweet but then I found out that other people like Declan and Rory have heard about it. I don’t like the thought of Robbie telling all his mates about it all! 😦

I was on the phone to Jake for quite a while tonight, talking about what his brother had said to me about his dad. I was even more bothered about it after I’d spoken to him cos he pointed out a few things. He said that if it’s true then I’m probably never going to want to go to his house again, just in case his dad’s there and that it could be awkward if we’re together for a good while longer. He’s right!

Jake also said that he’d hate it if my parents didn’t like him and that he wouldn’t be as bothered if we weren’t in a serious relationship but we are so it’d be better if his dad liked me. We still can’t think what I’ve done to make him dislike me though. 😦

Jake said he’s going to be really annoyed if what we’ve been told his dad said is true cos there’s no proper reason for it as far as we know. If it’s to do with the fact that Jake’s not at home as much as he used to be because of me then he’s going to be even more annoyed cos he found out from his brother that when his dad went to Milan the other week, it wasn’t a business trip like Jake thought, he apparently went with some woman headteacher.

He said he was going to ring his dad after he’d spoken to me so now I’ve got to wait until I get an email tomorrow to find out if I really am not liked!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

03-02-01 Jake email03-02-01 Tess email

Halfway up the hill – 1st February 2001

Thursday 1st
9 weeks to go!

It was boring at college again today and then I had to walk home and it was absolutely freezing!

It’s a good job I set off walking cos I might have missed Jake’s phone call if I’d waited for a lift from Mum. He explained to me about the conversation he’d mentioned in his email about relationships. He said they just asked him how long we’d been going out and then this guy said he’s been separated from a long term girlfriend when he went to uni so they only got to see each other at the weekends. Apparently they didn’t split up because of it.

I then suggested that I went somewhere other than Huddersfield Uni but Jake said he wouldn’t want that. 🙂 Good! Neither would I!

Then we got talking about Barcelona. I haven’t got round to looking for accommodation yet and Jake said he’s not got much time to do it. So, because I was a bit pissed off I suggested we just don’t bother going. He didn’t like the idea and started saying he’ll find the time to sort it out. We both really want to go so we finally agreed that if one of us finds somewhere we’ll let the other one know about it so we can check it out and decide either yes/no/maybe!

I do wish he was here because half the fun of a holiday is planning it so you can look forward to it but I want us to be able to do that together. I really hate him not being here. I love him too much for this!

Sarah pointed out a good way of thinking about how long Jake’s gone for. I told her that he’s been gone 3 weeks now and that’s quarter of the time he’ll be gone altogether. A quarter didn’t really sound much to me but Sarah said to think of it as being halfway up the hill!

CYMERA_20190407_181536.jpg

It sounds (and looks) better, doesn’t it?!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

01-02-01 Jake email01-02-01 Tess email

It’s probably going to cost me a bomb to send! – 31st January 2001

Wednesday 31st
9 weeks + 1 days to go!

I went into Warrington with Sarah, Lizzie and Cat after college today cos I needed to find something for Jake for Valentine’s Day.

On the bus on the way there, I had the feeling that I probably wouldn’t be able to find anything but I did. For Valentine’s Day, I got him a Purple Ronnie card, an ‘I need a hug’ bear with a blue nose and a chocolate Bang On The Door lolly saying ‘Kiss’ on it.

Then I saw a couple of other things which I’m going to send too cos we’ve been going out a year. I bought him a Boots milk lip balm cos he like mine and a Jessie the Cowgirl doll (out of Toy Story 2) cos I know he likes cowgirls!

I was just beginning to think he wasn’t going to phone when he did at about 7:35pm. He told me he’d had to ski to warm up first which is why he didn’t phone at 7pm like he said he would. He didn’t really have much to say so we just gave each other clues about what we’d bought for one another!

He said he hoped I hadn’t bought him a really big teddy or anything and that worried me a bit cos I have bought him a little one plus a doll! Oh well, he’ll have to make do! He’d better appreciate it cos it’s probably going to cost me a bomb to send!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

31-01-01 Jake email31-01-01 Tess email

I’ve hardly got any time at all!  – 29th January 2001

Monday 29th
9 weeks + 3 days to go!

Sarah wasn’t in college today but I assumed she’d mentioned to Cat that she wasn’t going to Barcelona. I found out she hadn’t when I asked Cat what she was going to do. She just looked at me blankly and asked me what I meant. So, I ended up having to explain and feeling guilty (even though it’s not my fault!) cos Cat said she’d been looking forward to that and was obviously really disappointed.

It was a pretty boring day in college and I had to wait until about 7:15pm before I spoke to Jake. He’d warned me yesterday that he wouldn’t be phoning until later on because he’s sending me a couple of packages with stuff in. He reckons they should arrive on about Saturday.

He also told me he’s got me presents for Valentine’s Day AND our 1 year anniversary! That means I’m going to have to start thinking of something to get him now. I mean, I intended to get him a Valentine’s present but I was just going to get him a card for our anniversary thing. I’m going to have to find him something pretty soon cos we started going out on Feb 11th and that’s only a couple of weeks off. Plus it takes about a week to get to Canada.

Oh no! I’ve hardly got any time at all! I’d better go and think….. quicky!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

29-01-01 Jake email29-01-01 Tess email

My day’s been so boring – 28th January 2001

Sunday 28th
9 weeks + 4 days to go!

Nothing whatsoever has happened today. I’ve been sooo bored! I had to wait until 6:30pm before I could speak to Jake too which made the day drag on even more. He phoned a bit later tonight cos he was having a day off skiing so I wasn’t worried when he didn’t phone at the normal time because I suspected he might have a lie in considering he’s been saying how tired he is.

He didn’t really have all that much to say really. Neither did I cos my day’s been so boring too. We just talked about going on holiday together and stuff again. We’ve decided to suggest going to Barcelona to Cat and Sarah for more of a long weekend than a week and if Sarah still can’t come, we’ll be happy to just go on our own! We’re going to see if more people want to go to Dublin or somewhere for a weekend instead.

Bye!

Today’s emails →

28-01-01 Jake email28-01-01 Tess email

Mum’s just told me I should stop “wallowing in self-pity” – 27th January 2001

Saturday 27th
9 weeks + 5 days to go!

Surprisingly, I haven’t really done much today! That was a sarcastic comment, just in case you hadn’t realised. What the hell did I do at the weekend before I met Jake?!

He didn’t really have much to say on the phone and neither did I so we started talking about our potential holiday to Barcelona with each other plus Cat and Sarah. I found out the flight would be £95 return if we book soon which sounds quite cheap.

I told Sarah and Cat, and Cat was fine about it but Sarah started going on about her parents going away and them not wanting the house to be empty. She’s been saying that every time I’ve mentioned Barcelona but still saying she wants to come.

I then started thinking that if she’d gone away with her parents then the house would’ve been empty anyway. The more I thought about it, the more it sounded like an excuse she could use, just in case she decided she didn’t want to come after all.

So, I sent Sarah a text, pretty much saying that and asking if I was along the right lines. She sent one back saying she can’t come cos she can’t afford it. I mean, fair enough, she might need to save up for uni and stuff but she could’ve told us sooner, before we started to look forward to it cos she must’ve known for a while she wasn’t going to come.

She probably didn’t want to say cos she thought I’d be pissed off or something. Okay, I am a bit but it’s more disappointment than anything else. She can tell Cat, I don’t see why I should have to. At least it wasn’t booked.

Jake and I did discuss on the phone today what we’d do if someone dropped out (cos Cat and Sarah aren’t going to go without someone else cos they’d be stuck with me and Jake!) cos we can’t find anyone else who’ll come cos everyone’s already booked stuff. He suggested just going to Barcelona for a few days and then going to Dublin or somewhere for a weekend after it.

I do like that idea but I did kind of want to go away with a group like in London cos it’s fun when there’s a few people. I also feel a bit funny about going on holiday with just my boyfriend (even though my mum said I am old enough to do that) cos it seems a bit dodgy to other people and they’ll just think we’re going away to have sex all the time. I don’t want people to think that about us.

My mum’s just told me I should stop “wallowing in self-pity” and take notice of other people’s problems too! I mentioned once, maybe twice, that I was disappointed about Barcelona so I hardly call that wallowing! As for noticing other people’s problems, erm… I could’ve sworn that’s all I’ve been doing for the last few weeks! I’ve been quite proud of the fact that I’ve not moaned at anyone myself actually!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

27-01-01 Jake email27-01-01 Tess email 127-01-01 Tess email 2