SHIT SHIT SHIT PLEASE HELP!! – 8th December 1999

Wednesday 8th Lizzie dumped Brett this morning. It wasn’t unexpected for me but I don’t think poor Brett saw it coming. She’s been going off him for a while now but she said last night was the final straw. I got a text message last night from her explaining what he’d said. It said, “OH MY GOD! I JUST GOT A MESSAGE FROM BRETT ASKING IF I WOULD SLEEP WITH HIM! OH SHIT WHAT SHOULD I DO? SHIT SHIT SHIT PLEASE HELP!!”

Basically it panicked her slightly! So this morning she dumped him via text message. It just said stuff about how she thought they shouldn’t see each other anymore because they wanted different things out of their relationship and stuff like that. She got one from him later apologising and asking why and saying he’d gone home from school because he felt sick. I reckon he just didn’t want his mates to see him being reduced to a jabbering wreck by a girl!

I do feel sorry for him though. He really, really likes Lizzie and he must be so gutted. It’s like what happened to Oscar all over again except she dumped Oscar because he wouldn’t do much whereas Brett wants to do more.

Speaking of Oscar, I spoke to him at lunch to tell him the news of the break up but he said he didn’t care because he is getting a new girlfriend on Monday. It sounds like he’s ordered her from an Argos catalogue!! Apparently she works at McDonald’s with him, is called Dion and is nice. That was all I could get out of him except that he’s happy.

Later this evening, Lizzie phoned and said Brett had phoned her and started asking why again and asking if there was anything he could do to get back with her. He also said that it’d take him about 18 months to get over her because it took him ages to get over his last girlfriend and he loved Lizzie more.

He then asked if she’d cried. She told me she felt like a right hard cow when she said no. Well, I think Brett’s being a bit wet really! He won’t get anywhere using the soppy approach with Lizzie.


Really soft with stupid Elvis hair – 1st-4th December 1999

Wednesday 1st There was quite a bad car accident on the way home from kickboxing tonight. One car was on its side and another was upside-down in a field. The scary thing was that we were first there after the police. If we’d have left a few minutes earlier we could’ve been involved. I hate to see accidents like that, it really upsets me.

I still can’t stand Hayley. This morning, I think she was quite pleased to hear that Leon and Jodie were a potential item and then she started saying how Leon was really soft with stupid Elvis hair and that he reminded her of Richard Willers (who I wouldn’t exactly call good looking) deliberately loudly in front of everyone, I reckon to try and humiliate me. Bitch!

Then I had to put up with her all afternoon coz she tagged along with Rachael and I when we were delivering invitations to old people about the Xmas party at school. Rach doesn’t like Hayley either so neither of us were pleased.


Thursday 2nd Not much happened today. Lizzie said that Jodie doesn’t fancy Leon and that she’s happy with the boyfriend she’s got. Good!

Later, Gethin told me and Lizzie that we were 2 of his favourite girls along with Emma and Suzanna. Aaah, sweet!


Saturday 4th I went to see the new James Bond film ‘The World Is Not Enough’ last night with Cat, Lizzie and Poppy. It was quite a good film but it ended really late. Before out film, we had an hour or so to waste so Lizzie phoned Brett and he and that lad from bonfire night came to meet us there for a bit. There wasn’t much mention of Leon, only Brett asking if I still liked him but I lied and said no.

When we got into the film, Cat ended up with Charlie Wilson sat behind her (she snogged him in Belgium). He and the lad he was with kept whispering and saying, “Chris Kelly-Banks” very loudly every so often!

I had a great dream last night! Hayley was yelling stuff at me so I started doing some kickboxing on her and she shut up so I started saying all the things that really need to be said and she then pissed off with no friends and left me alone. I don’t know what would’ve happened next coz my mum woke me up. I was quite disappointed to find out that it hasn’t all been real!

Sarah and Freda both went round to Hayley’s last night. No doubt they had a good bitch about me and possibly Lizzie.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that during my free period yesterday some of my mates were trying to lift people up in a sitting position with only 4 people using 2 fingers. One person had to sit on a chair and the other 4 people stood around them and put their hands one over the other (but not touching) over the sitting person’s head. They counted to 10 and then they put 2 fingers under each arm and knee and lifted. It worked. Sarah went right up to the ceiling. I don’t know how it works though.

My sister’s going to the Coach Horse pub with her mates, May’s boyfriend and Ewan Swann coz they’re mates. I found myself feeling really pissed off coz Ewan was going. I don’t want to start fancying him again but I think I’m heading that way. The person I really want is Leon but he’s obviously just not interested.


What the hell do I do??! – 22nd November 1999

Monday 22nd I was wrong about the Zoe-Reevesy break up. He was the one who did the dumping. He didn’t give a proper reason so we all suspect that he was expecting her to dump him so he got in there first to save himself humiliation. Loads of people have sent him text messages telling him he’s daft dumping her, that she’s really upset and doesn’t understand why. This was Zoe’s idea because she is now determined to get back with him.

Meanwhile, I have even more concerns about how much longer this me and Leon thing’s going to last. I fear I’m heading for disappointment since Lizzie sent me a message, part of which said, “DO YOU WANT ME TO ASK LEON ANYTHING TONIGHT? BRETT RUNG + SAID BECKY SENT LEON MESSAGES SAYING SHE STILL LIKES HIM. WHAT R U GOIN TO DO?”

I think swimming must be going on tonight so that’ll give Becky a chance to speak to Leon. What if he decides to go back out with her? I’ll be so gutted! I really do like him.

I sent Lizzie a message back saying, “THERE’S NOWT I WANT U 2 ASK LEON REALLY + THERE’S NOT MUCH I CAN DO ABOUT BECKY. CAN’T SAY I’M PLEASED BUT IT’S UP 2 HIM WHAT HE DOES.” I didn’t want to say too much just in case Lizzie showed Leon the message. That’s also why I added that I wasn’t too pleased, just so he knows I am still interested without sounding like an obsessive stalker type! I hope she updates me soon. I can’t stand not knowing what’s going on.

As for Brett’s question on Lizzie’s virginity, well, she told him she hadn’t lost it and told me she didn’t intend to lose it to him. Wise choice, girl! He hasn’t asked any further questions on the subject to my knowledge.

Oh no!! I’ve just gained a new problem!

After school, I sent Reevesy a message (under orders from Zoe!) saying, “ZOE TOLD ME WHAT’S HAPPENED BUT SHE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND WHY. SHE STILL REALLY LIKES U. SO WHY DID U DUMP HER THEN??” Then this evening I got a message back from Reevesy saying, “IF U WANT THE REASON RING ME 2***29. REEVESY”.

I had my suspicions as to what ‘the reason’ was but I replied, “HAVE U LET ZOE KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS YET? JUST SEND ME A MESSAGE WITH A REASON PLEASE.”

My suspicions were then backed up with his reply which said, “I CAN’T I NEED TO TALK WITH U. PLEASE PHONE 2***29”. I lied and said, “NO, DAD’S ON HOME PHONE, ONLY ABOUT 50p CREDIT LEFT ON THIS. JUST SEND A MESSAGE. I CAN DELETE IT.”

Instead, he phoned me and confirmed my suspicions. The conversation went something along these lines:-

Reevesy – Hi, it’s Reevesy.
Me – Oh right, hi. Come on, what’s this reason then?
R – You’ve got to promise not to tell Zoe or anyone.
Me – Right, just say it.
R – Okay. Are you seeing anyone?
Me – Well, erm… no, not exactly. Why?
R – Well, promise you won’t say anything.
Me – Okay!
R – It’s just, well, I really like you.
Me – Oh no! Just don’t go there!
R – Sorry! Please don’t tell Zoe.
Me – This isn’t fair.
R – I know, I’m sorry.
Me – It’s just that I really like Leon and Zoe really likes you.
R – I kind of expected that you liked Leon.
Me – Yeah, I’m sorry.
R – It’s okay. I was expecting it really.
Me – Okay, well thanks for telling me. (Dunno why I said that. Didn’t mean it!!)
R – Right, sorry, bye.

This is bad! If I tell Zoe she’ll get mad with Reevesy and possibly me if she’s feeling unreasonable, and Leon might find out and get pissed off and paranoid that’ll I’ll go off with Reevesy (yeah right!). If I don’t tell Zoe, it could be worse later on if she finds out I know because then she’ll be très pissed off!!

What the hell do I do??! I need to speak to someone about this (other than Abby) who knows Zoe. I think Sarah’s the best candidate. I really want to tell Lizzie but she’s got a big gob on her!

Speaking of Lizzie… she’s just filled me in. She didn’t see Leon because he was playing water polo but she sent him a message asking if he liked me, telling him I liked him and asking if he’s going to ask me out. I hope he does!!


Big eyes and doesn’t speak – 20th & 21st November 1999

Saturday 20th I’ve felt really happy again today. I hope this lasts. It doesn’t normally which is what I’m worried about. I just don’t want this to end.

Hayley put a stop to my good mood for a while when I spoke to her on the phone. I was telling her how it was quite good last night but she didn’t really miss much and I told her that Ste didn’t go either because he was a bit nervous about seeing Hayley according to the lads. Hayley then started calling him soft and a wimp and saying that he was really pathetic not going because of her.

That pissed me off so much! The reason for her not going was because she thought he was. I can’t believe she can turn round and call him a soft, pathetic wimp when she’s no better herself.

I told her how I really liked Leon then immediately wished I hadn’t bothered because then she began to say how they were all a bit soft and gave me her opinion of each of them. These are Hayley’s opinions:

Reevesy – Big + stupid.
Brett – Just stands there all hunched over + stares.
Leon – Just stares at you with his big eyes + doesn’t speak.

Little cow! Why can’t she just be pleased? Even if she can’t help but be jealous or whatever’s wrong with her, she could at least keep her opinions to herself.

That’s really annoyed me. I had to try really hard to control myself from saying something to her when she came out with that bollocks!

Lizzie’s got a mobile. Her number’s 07*** ***405. She’s on the Orange network and so’s Leon and I’m with Vodafone like Brett so we’ve decided to swap phones when we want to speak to them then it’s cheaper!

God I like Leon so much!! I hope he likes me as much as I like him but I’m not convinced he does. I’ll be so gutted if we stop seeing each other which is why I’m worried behind being pleased. The more I see him, the more I like him and I’m scared I’m going to end up miserable.

I’ve had enough bad luck with friends and stuff in the past, I know what it’s like to get my hopes up and then be thoroughly disappointed. It’s happened too many times and it’s not nice. I just don’t want it to happen again.


Sunday 21st Now Lizzie’s got a mobile, it’s been her turn to be slightly freaked out by messages. She text messaged me to say that Brett had sent her one telling her that Zoe and Reevesy split up today and then he said something about wanting to ask her something but that he didn’t want it to change anything between them.

I sent one to Lizzie saying that he probably wants to take their relationship a stage further. I wasn’t being totally serious but it looks as if that’s where things might be heading. You see, Brett sent a message back to her asking if she’d lost her virginity yet. Now I’m sure we can all take a good guess as to where he’s heading with this one.

As for the Zoe and Reevesy break up, well, it wasn’t so long ago that she was seriously considering sleeping with him after he’d asked her to do so at Freda’s party. I suspect she was the one that broke up with him though now she’s got a thing for Brett.

I hope Lizzie and Brett don’t split up any time soon. For a start I think they make a nice couple but on the selfish side of things, it’d make seeing Leon all the more difficult.

I hope Lizzie doesn’t end up going all the way with Brett. She could well end up regretting it. I doubt she’d be that stupid but then a lot of people have been doing things I wouldn’t expect of them recently e.g. Cat Elliot!

I still really, really, really like Leon!!!


Slight overload on the kisses – 17th November 1999

Wednesday 17th I showed quite a few people Leon’s message and it got a mixed reaction. Some people thought it was sweet but my fellow admirees (Zoe and Lizzie who’ve had their lads say ‘I love you’ to them) understood why I was slightly freaked by it. We’ve drawn the conclusion that summit’s been put in the water at their school and it’s having serious effects on their hormones!!

Lizzie told Brett about it at lunch but he hadn’t known anything about it. I hope they don’t skit Leon for it or anything and I don’t want him to think I’ve been taking the piss either. Lizzie mentioned it freaked me out at bit too.

I had other messages from or involving Leon today. One was from Brett saying, “TES, WOT IS YOUR HOME PHONE NO, LEON WANTS IT”. I sent one back saying to tell him to ring my mobile instead. It’s just because I don’t want to have to explain to my parents who Leon is and I don’t want to lie either. It’d also be more awkward on the phone whereas on a mobile you can pretend they’re breaking up if you come to an awkward silence and can go!

I got another message from Leon in answer to my question of, “Do you know what’s going on tomorrow?” He said, “NO I DON’T, I THINK WE’RE MEETING OUTSIDE AT QUARTER PAST 6 LUV LEON xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx” Slight overload on the kisses but that, I thought, was sweet.

Lizzie was trying to explain Leon’s family to me in Biology but I didn’t quite understand some of it. I got that Leon’s nephew is Chris (who was at the Trafford Centre that time) and Chris is only a year younger than him. She also told me that Leon lives near Warrington Hospital and that he used to model for Joe Bloggs when he was little.


I really like him. It’s so unfair – 9th November 1999

Tuesday 9th Most of the conversations I’ve had today have revolved around one subject. The party. Freda has now decided that if Aled comes then the party ends at midnight, if he doesn’t it’ll go on until 2am. She’s made sure everybody knows this so that nobody’ll want Aled to come, not just her.

Personally, I think that’s really shady. I’d be really upset if I found out that someone had said that about me. He pretends he couldn’t give a toss about it but I bet he does really. Who wouldn’t be bothered?

Freda also had a minor go at me at lunch. She told me what she’d decided about Aled and then said, “So if you think it’s going to be shit, you might as well not bother coming.” I admit I was saying yesterday that it had the potential to be a crap party and I know I should be grateful that she’s having it at her house at all. I was just pissed off about the Aled thing (because she’d said she didn’t want him coming yesterday) and the fact everyone had to be out by midnight when most people would only have been there for a couple of hours. I wasn’t just me saying so but it must have got back to her that it was me because it’s on my birthday.

Freda also said to me to stop inviting people because it was her house so she was deciding who to invite. Actually, I haven’t invited anyone who wasn’t going already. Brett’s coming now with Reevsey but Zoe and Lizzie are there ones who got them to come. Everyone else is inviting friends too. For example, Suzanna’s coming with Emma. I seem to be getting the blame for all of this. I do feel a bit guilty though because it is her house and she didn’t have to have a party but then I suppose I didn’t force her into it either.

I’m really disappointed about Aled not being able to come too. It’s the only other chance I’ll get with him, for a while at least. I just wish more people liked him. Especially Freda! It’s his own fault in a way because he takes the piss out of people so much. He can be a nice lad when he wants to be though. Even if he did go to the party, I’d be wary of going with [snogging] him again with so many people being there because, if he started being a bastard and I stayed with him, I’d be likely to lose friends too. I really like him. It’s so unfair.

Just today I’ve developed a really uneasy feeling about this party but I can’t quite put a finger on exactly what’s bothering me. I think it might just be a combination of everything put together. It just feels like nothing good’s going to come out of it.




They were all pretty minging – 5th November 1999

Friday 5th I went to the Victoria Park bonfire this evening in Warrington but there was no bonfire, just a firework display and a few fairground rides. I was with Lizzie, Zoe, Freda, Poppy, Lucy and Rani and we met up with Brett and a few of his mates. Then all our lot went home early except me, Lizzie and Zoe so we just hung about with Brett etc.

They were all pretty minging. There was Rob who’s 16 with blonde hair who’s normal height and thin. Reevsey who’s 16 too, I think, and tall, quite fat with blonde hair. A little lad who I think was called Chris who’s apparently 17 and nice looking but too short. And then there was Brett.

Damon and Leon and a few others also turned up at one point but went later. Emma and Keira were there with Davis and his lot. Nathan was with them somewhere but I didn’t see him. I’m not too bothered. It could’ve been awkward and I looked a complete state!

We got sick of the so-called “bonfire” so we headed for McDonald’s in town. I got told that Reevsey liked me but then Zoe said she liked him. They ended up going with [snogging] each other and are now going out.

We met up with Emma and Keira again in the bus station and Emma ended up getting a lift home with Lizzie’s mum with us. As we were all walking to the Golden Gates where we were being picked up, Rob said to me and Emma sounded and looked like we were popular. I’m not sure what made him come out with that other than the fact we were talking about a lot of different people. I was quite flattered by that comment of his.

I like talking to Emma. She’s a good listener. For example, I was saying how I was worried about Hayley coming back, with the Aled stuff that’s been going on and all, and she made me feel so much better by telling me that nobody really takes Hayley seriously because most people know what she’s like.

She also said she’s in a similar situation with Nicola Banks. She says she can’t relax around her and has to watch what she says because Nicola, like Hayley, overreacts and can’t see how unreasonable she’s being. She told me that she wasn’t really enjoying college, partly because there are only a few people who she gets on well with. She says I’m one of them. That’s good!

I saw loads of Trotter in school today, just walking round. He’s had his hair cut. It’s still spiky but there are no blonde bits anymore. I was thinking just yesterday that he needed a haircut too!

Cat was doing a plan of who’d get together with who at the party next Friday in Biology. Lizzie and I helped her along with it. It went something like this:


Someone told Gethin what’d been written. I don’t think he was very pleased. Notice Cat’s blocking off of the arrow between me and Freda. That’s her job for the night!