We were all over each other! – 6th March 2000

Monday 6th I had a day off college again today which I didn’t like doing but had to because my face and ears were so sore this morning. I’m still deaf on one side as well and I’m getting sick of it! Mum’s making a doctor’s appointment for me tomorrow morning. 😦

Woke up to 2 texts. One was from Sarah asking where I was and the other was from Floyd asking the same thing and pointing out that I couldn’t be “fucking Jake” because he was in college. Floyd’s message annoyed me. I did not need to wake up to that.


I sent him one back explaining that I didn’t go to the doctor and that he shouldn’t feel guilty because I knew he’d been ill and I should’ve controlled myself at Brian’s. He texted me back saying, “YEH WELL, I’M GLAD YOU DIDN’T – IT WAS A GOOD NIGHT! JUST FOUND OUT THAT FREDA’S HAVING A BIG PARTY IN THE SUMMER – HER PARENTS R GOING AWAY FOR A WEEKEND ; ) BYE BYE xx”. Good, I need a party! Shame it’s not a bit sooner though.

When Abby got in from school she told me that Jacqueline had been talking Samantha Beck again and Sam’d said that, even though Jake and I haven’t been together for ages, we look really close – like we’ve been together for ages. She also said that when she turned round at one point, we were all over each other! That must’ve been the same time as Hayley and her brother sneaked off!

Jake’s actually made me a bit wary of what I say and do now because he says there’s a few of them in his year, including Samantha, who have a free periods at the same time and they discuss everything. Oh dear! Mind you, I might discuss stuff with my mates about him too, depending on what it was.



I sacrificed half a plate of chips and gravy – 8th February 2000

Tuesday 8th I didn’t see Jake until lunchtime and when I was sat in the canteen, I didn’t think I’d see him all day and I was a bit disappointed. Then when I was least expecting it, Emma marched into the canteen and asked me if I wanted to go to the pub with her, Big Paul and Jake. I must really like him because I sacrificed half a plate of chips and gravy to go along!

Big Paul and Jake were waiting outside the college for us. Jake looked really gorgeous in his big white fleece, jeans and scruffy Pod trainers. We went in Big Paul’s car and headed for somewhere near town but changed our minds and ended up in The Plough. We just sat there talking. The lads had a pint each and Emma and I just at chips [Again?!] and chocolate (not at the same time!).

On the way back, Jake told us that his Beetle car was his dad’s but he was going to sell it in a couple of months to pay for his Canada trip. As soon as he mentioned that, my stomach sank. His A Level exams aren’t that far off so he’ll probably go after those which doesn’t give us much time. I’d better make the most of him now and try to put Canada to the back of my mind. 😦

When we got back to college, Emma and Big Paul went off somewhere so Jake and I walked in together. When we went past his little common room, all his mates were grinning and waving at him. I wonder what they think of us. I was already late for Sports Studies and he was off to the Trafford Centre so we had to say goodbye. He kissed me on the lips again, really nicely and for a few seconds longer than he did yesterday. I just wanted to snog the lad but there were quite a lot of people about so I managed to just about control myself! I really, really, really like him now!

Cat told me today that one of his mates said he really likes me. That’s quite a few people who’ve said that now. I want to know what he’s been saying!

People keep saying we make a really sweet couple and asking if we’re going out. When I say no, they ask if we’re seeing each other. I then have to say, “ Well… sort of, I suppose” because I really don’t know. One person that asked was Sian Dell in Swing Band after school. I asked how she knew and she told me that, in their Geography lesson, Jake wouldn’t tell them who he met [snogged] on Friday or something but they eventually got it out of him. So now nearly everyone knows but I really don’t care cos I really like him!

I’ve just received a text from Sarah saying, “BEEN WONDERING IF I SHOULD TELL U THIS ALL NITE… PROMISE U WON’T SAY ANYTHING? HAYLEY THINKS  U R GONNA GO OFF WITH EMMA + JAKE NOW. THAT’S SO SELFISH OF HER DON’T U THINK?” I might have known Hayley’s possessive side would show itself. It’s pathetic! She’s so paranoid all the time. I wish she’d sort herself out.

Yet again she needs a bloody good kicking! I can tell you now that if Andy was at our college, we wouldn’t be seeing much of her. I hate the fact that it seems as if in Hayley’s perfect world, I wouldn’t have any friends other than her and certainly no boyfriends. It’s so sad! Actually, I bet it’s a slight touch of jealousy too because, before me and Jake, she got loads of attention and she’s been getting less now people keep asking about me and him and saying we make a nice couple and stuff.

I’ve also noticed this week that she’s been telling people about the intimate things she and Andy say to each other and also she’s been constantly moaning she feels ill. It does get her more attention too so she’s bound to continue it.


My heart sped up extremely rapidly – 7th February 2000

Monday 7th I usually get to college about 20 minutes before lessons start so, once the bell had gone for 1st lesson, I thought I’d got away without seeing Jake, for the morning at least. I was wrong. I didn’t have Sports Studies 1st lesson as normal because Mr P-K isn’t in because he’s messed up his knee badly so I just sat about in the common room.

Emma told me this morning that Jake said on Friday that he’s liked me since Austria (I’m still in shock about this!) and I was just in the process of telling Hayley, Sarah and Cat about that when Hayley said, “I’d shut up if I were you”. I didn’t really know what she was on about so I turned round to have a look, only to see Jake walking and smiling across the common room towards me.

My mates all ran off to their lesson so my heart sped up extremely rapidly and my hands started shaking when I realised I was going to be left alone with him.

We talked for a whole hour! There was the odd awkward silence and he admitted he wasn’t very talkative but we were getting on alright, just talking about college and stuff that happened at the party. He’s so nice!

Of course, we had Gethin and Emma and various other people walking past and grinning or blowing kisses and stuff but I didn’t really care. I was quite relieved when someone like Gethin came and talked to us for a few minutes because it usually started up something new to talk about.

He asked for my mobile number at one point and sat on a chair right next to me. I gave it him and I’ve got his now too. His mobile number is: 078** ******. I also found out he lives in Lizzie’s village.

The time actually passed quite quickly before the bell went for 2nd lessons and he had to go. I wasn’t expecting it but, as he was getting up to go, he leaned in and kissed me on the lips. After that, I couldn’t stop smiling all morning!

I saw him briefly on the way to Biology and said hello before he and Sarah managed to collide with each other going through the door. I’m just glad that wasn’t me he walked into!

When I went up to the common room at lunch, Jake was already up there talking to Big Paul. Sarah and I headed for the canteen and Jake followed. He asked if I wanted to go to McDonald’s with him but I told him I’d promised Sarah I’d go in the canteen with her. I actually had but I also still hadn’t calmed down after being sat with him for a lot of the morning and I don’t want to start ignoring my friends either. He went off somewhere then and I didn’t see him again until after school.

I was up in the common room, sat on the cupboard, talking to Gethin and I heard someone say, “She’s in there”. I knew it was him so I leapt off the cupboard and sat on a chair next to him. We talked a bit but not as much as this morning because other people were talking to us as well. He seemed to find it amusing when I told Gethin to take his pants [Trousers!] off and show us how he could turn them into a bag though!

He offered to give me a lift home so I accepted because it was raining. We waited for the school buses to go then left. His car’s a really ancient blue thing so everyone can see him coming. It was a bit awkward again but it didn’t take long to get home. We saw Emma and Big Paul driving the other way and they saw me so no doubt I’ll get questioned by them in the morning!

He dropped me off in The Green Dragon car park, we kissed quickly and I left, smiling AGAIN!!

I really like him. I just wish it wasn’t awkward. I also hope he doesn’t just start asking me to go out of school at lunch because I’d rather go in the canteen with my mates at the moment but I don’t like saying no to him.


I’m going to end up really, really liking him – 6th February 2000

Sunday 6th My sister spoke to Jacqueline again today and she had more to tell me about Jake. She said that a while back, some girl in their year called Leah Moore had asked Jake to meet (snog) her. Samantha Breck told him not to do it and he said, “I won’t. Do you think I’m stupid? I don’t want to ruin my chances with Tess.”

Also, Samantha asked him if he knew me or if he’d ever spoken to me and he must have told her we didn’t really speak and she said to Jac that he just can’t stop looking at me or something!

I really can’t believe all this! I had no idea he liked me. Mind you, he probably doesn’t now after I got drunk on Friday!

That was the good stuff but Abby also told me he’s going off to be a ski instructor in Canada for a year when he’s done his A Levels. That’s not very far off. I can predict now that I’m going to end up really, really liking him and then ending up getting hurt. I can’t worry about that now though. I’m better off taking each day as it comes.

AAARRGGHHH!!! College tomorrow!


I don’t understand that girl! – 27th & 28th September 1999

Monday 27th I think Hayley’s speaking to me again. I didn’t see her much today but this evening I switched my phone on and I had a text message from her saying: “HI JUST SAYING HI. R U OK?” [All texts were in capital letters in 1999, apparently.] I thought she might have just sent it to the wrong number so I sent her one back saying: “HI ERM… DID U MEAN TO SEND ME A MESSAGE B4?? FROM TESSA”. Later on I got another from her saying: “YEP I MEANT 2!” I sent her another one back saying I wasn’t sure and that I was okay or something.

I don’t understand that girl! I actually think it’s going to be more hassle if she is speaking to me because it means I have to start watching what I say again, whereas it didn’t matter before because she was already not speaking to me!

Maybe I could try my phasing out process now, although I’m not entirely sure how to go about it. I just want to be able to do things with other friends without her expecting to be invited. Maybe that’s asking too much.

Freda brought the photos in. I’ve had loads of people asking me about the one of me and Aled, about what was going on. I’m not sure how he reacted when he saw it because I wasn’t looking but when I mentioned it on the way home from school when I was talking about Freda’s threat to scan it, he went very quiet. I’m not sure what to make of that reaction.

Zoe’s going out with the lad from LA Bowl. His name’s Jav and he was round at her house yesterday. She wants me to go bowling on Wednesday now so she can meet up with him. I don’t know if I will go.


P.S. Dougie said hi to Rhian on my mobile at lunch then went all embarrassed. He kept asking Gethin and I what she’d said to us too.

Tuesday 28th Hayley’s definitely speaking to me again. It is a lot easier in school now and I was getting sick of people constantly asking what was going on. There’s much less of an awkward atmosphere but I still can’t completely forgive the stupid girl.

Oscar let me in on something today. I was sat near him at lunch and there weren’t many other people around. He said, “Tess…” like he was about to say something but shut up as soon as Sarah came over. I managed to get rid of her and he told me that he was thinking of getting a necklaces that have half a heart on for him and Lizzie, like Heidi and Davis’s.  He said he didn’t have any money right now but he’s getting paid on Thursday so he might get them then. I’m not sure what Lizzie’d think if but I think it’s really sweet of him. I think he really likes Lizzie too. He’s so lovely!

Aled stormed into college this morning and was going on about having loads of Geography to do and only 15 mins to do it in. Then he decided it was my fault because last night on the way home I told him I’d do it 2nd period today but we had Geography 1st. Mr B did actually say we had until 3:20pm to hand it in but Aled didn’t believe me and was glaring at me all through Geography until Mr B proved me right. Aled was only doing it jokingly though.

I found out from a sheet on a wall with the College 2 General Studies groups on that Trotter’s full name is Darren Robert Lawton. Not bad! I saw him while I was going to Swing Band. He glanced over his shoulder as I turned towards C Block. I also found out he lives nearer Warrington.


He only waved back! – 2nd & 3rd September 1999

Thursday 2nd I had my first day at 6th Form College today. Well, it wasn’t actually in the college, it was more in the form of an assembly in room A26 which is just a big room. It wasn’t really a day either because it only lasted 2 hours. I was back here at home by 11:30 am.

On my way home I walked past the fire salvage shop and there was quite a nice lad brushing up around the car park. I turned round after I’d walked past and he was looking at me but quickly turned away when he saw I’d noticed. I saw him the other day actually, working in the part that sells chocolate and stuff behind the till.

Anyway, we all start properly at school tomorrow. All it was today was explaining rules and giving out timetables. I think I’m with someone I know in all my lessons and in free periods and we got to pick at least one person who we wanted to go in a form with. My name was put down with Hayley, Lena, Georgia Dean, Rachael Hollins and Emma but we’ll be mixed with other people too I think.

As for new people, well, there are apparently 5. There is a girl called Maeve who knows Lizzie, a girl called Penny who knows Lucy and Poppy and some lad. He’s not fit either. He’s new to our year but is a couple of years older. He’s done GNVQs and now wants to do A Levels. I don’t know if he’s counted as one of the 5.

There was no sign of John Baker. Never mind.


Friday 3rd I had my first full day in 6th Form. This morning I had double Sports Studies with Miss P (don’t like her) then Mr B. He’s okay but wanted to know what sports we did and what sporting achievements we have. I don’t so I just wrote down athletics because I don’t mind it and netball because I was briefly on the team lower down the school.

After that I had Geography with Mr B-N. He’s okay too but I’m only with Sarah and Zoe in that lesson. In Sports Studies I’m with Lizzie, that new girl Maeve Ackerley, Rachael Hollins and Tanya Potter. There are other people in these groups too but I’m not really mates with them.

This afternoon I had Biology with Mr S and there were 30 of us but they want to split us up into 2 groups. That means I probably won’t be in the same group as Ewan Swann. I quite like him again but only really because there’s nobody else! I’m with loads of mates in that – Yvette Brand, Chloe Gomez, Hayley, Lizzie, Rani S, Cat, Karen, Sarah and Rachael and Lucy.

At lunch, Hayley, Freda, Rani and I were sat on the park and this little lad from the Indian restaurant walked past with another lad. Hayley and I have seen him loads and he’s always wherever we are in the village. Anyway, today as he was walking off, he turned round so I waved. He only waved back! It was really embarrassing because Hayley thinks I fancy him. I don’t, he only looks about 7! We can’t actually decide how old he is but he’s quite short.

This evening, Hayley, Milla and I went to The Plough because it’s Hayley’s 17th birthday today. Her sister and sister’s husband had to come with us but it was still quite good. He was trying to pair us off with lads but nowt happened, thank God! It was really embarrassing!

Conrad Garvey out of my year came over and spoke to us at one point. It’s his birthday too. That tarty woman who was chatting up those lads in the Sports Club when the football was on was in The Plough too, chatting up even more men. I don’t think she recognised us!


Fringebit – 29th August 1999

Sunday 29th I wasn’t going to write in here today because nothing much has happened but I’m not tired and can’t sleep so I’ll find something.

Oh yeah, I burnt my carpet and tried to cover the brown up with ink but it was turquoise! I was messing about with candle wax and an ink cartridge and the ink went all over my desk so I had to get toilet roll to wipe it up. The toilet paper caught fire from the candle and it got hot (doh!) so I dropped it in the luckily empty metal bin I’ve got on the floor.

Thinking it’d go out in the bin, I left it. When it finally did go out, I put a glass of water on it. I moved the bin only to find a nice brown burn mark on the carpet where the paint on the bin had kind of boiled. I had a blue cartridge handy [the carpet was blue] so I dripped some ink on the brown patch, only to find it was a very different shade. I’ve made a right mess! I tried cleaning it up with carpet stuff and it kind of worked but not properly.

Rhian phoned tonight. She didn’t know what Duncan had been doing last night either. Never mind. Abby got more info out of Auntie S and Uncle G about Ashley Ewart. She says she doesn’t care if they know she fancies him. We’ll see if she still thinks that way when they join up with Mum and Dad!

Anyway, apparently Ashley is Auntie S’s bridesmaid’s cousin’s son and he’s and only child. They said his dad’s got a fishing boat and his mum works in a fish shop and the pornstar thing came about because she sent a photo to some magazine once or something. They also know Ashley’s grandma.

Abby also found out the names of a few people we noticed in Wick. One is called Scott. Abby fancied him at Christmas and he’s quite thin with brown hair and usually wears dark jeans and a dark green and orange Kappa jacket and a cap. He also plays football with Cal Brown who Rhian used to fancy.

Another lad was this ginger lad who moved out of our way one night because we were trying to get past him on the street. We referred to him as ‘Ginger’ but we now know he’s called Alan, nicknamed ‘Baba’ for some reason.

There are still quite a few people who we issued with names because we didn’t know their real one who we still don’t know.

e.g. ‘Fringebit’ → This man who drove round (and round and round!) in a black, old Ford Escort who waggled his tongue and stared at us. He gained that name because his head was shaved except for a stupid fringe thing at the front.

e.g. ‘The Other One’ → Part of Ashley and Greg’s lot who just sat in the car and stood by the bank with them. Quite nice looking.

e.g. ‘Tartan Hat Boy’ → Boy who Abby took a liking to. He wore and Oasis-style tartan hat and sat on the bench by the bus stop opposite the sports shop.

e.g. ‘Cream Passenger’ → In the car and by the bank with Ashley and co. First time we saw him he was wearing cream clothes and was sat in the passenger seat of the car. Possibly the same person as ‘The Other One’.

See, I found something to write about!

I’m beginning to get worried about going back to school now. We go back on Thursday, not Monday like we thought, so that was a bit of bad news! I’m just worrying about the usual things like:
– Who I’ll be in a form with.
– Who I’ll be in lessons with.
– If I’ll be on my own.
– Then there’s new things like what new people are going to be there. (That could be good or bad though!)
– Whether when I have (if I have) free periods, will any of my mates?

Then there’s the problem of what to wear. Now I’m in 6th Form College, I don’t have to wear uniform. Help!!!