Huge orange patches all over her face – 19th September 2001

Wednesday 19th I went into Warrington with Cat today cos she was meeting Matt (the dominatron) and didn’t want to go on her own. The day turned out to be a complete disaster!

First of all, Cat didn’t get up in time so we had to get a later bus then when we finally arrived, Cat said she looked hideous and so we went in The Body Shop so she could use the tester concealers to cover up her spots. It all looked fine indoors but when we got into daylight I noticed Cat had huge orange patches all over her face where she’s used the tester.

Then Dominatron Matt rang and said his mate’s car had had a puncture near Birmingham and they weren’t sure if they were going to make it. So, Cat was a bit pissed off and decided to get lunch. After buying and eating an egg sandwich, Dominatron Matt said he would be able to come after all cos they’d got the AA out. Cat then munched her way through a pack of chewing gum to get rid of any eggy bits cos he said he was going to hug and kiss her, with tongues, when he first saw her.

They said they’d be a couple of hours but asked for directions to Cat’s village anyway. Neither of us had a clue so we went into the bookshop to find a map. We were there for ages trying to work out where to come off the motorway and if we hadn’t left when we did, I think the shop assistants would’ve chucked us out!

Cat then rang Dominatron Matt to give him directions but her credit ran out mid-conversation. He rang back but then her battery died so there was no way to contact him.

Before we went back to Cat’s, we went in a couple of clothes shops. Cat found a big fluffy jumper and tried it on. When she saw herself, she said, “I should’ve been born a Muppet!” We then turned round to see a bunch of shop girls giggling at her in an “aww, bless her” sort of way!

[The Muppet jumper.]

On the walk back to Cat’s from the bus, it started pouring with rain so we both got soaked and Cat’s hair went all fluffy.

After all that, I has to go home before Dominatron Matt arrived so I never got to see what he was like. I’ve sent Cat 5 messages and she hasn’t replied. Hmm.

I went online tonight and got chatting to people going to Huddersfield again. There was one lad who’ll be living in Jenkinson Court at Storthes call Rob who does snowboarding. He sent a photo and he’s not bad. He said he had a girlfriend until 3 weeks ago but it wasn’t serious cos they were “just good mates in a relationship”. Anyway, he suggested we go to the school disco thing on Thursday. I think I’d rather see him first. He said he went to Amsterdam and smoked cannabis but said he’s not a pothead or owt. I don’t know why he told me that really!

I spoke to Saz again too. She said she really likes me name cos it sounds “romantic”. 🙂 That’s nice!


I left Jake watching TV to go and make some fake cum – 10th June 2001

Sunday 10th Hmm. Last night was quite a varied night in the end with some good bits and some not so good bits.

Jake, Michael, Sarah, Karen, Cat, Gethin and I all went round to Lizzie’s house because her parents went away to Cyprus for 2 weeks yesterday. We all brought alcohol supplies and just settled down in the living room to watch TV/listen to music/talk.

Gethin was being all lively and was poncing about in the middle of the room, dancing and cracking crap jokes in order to be the centre of attention but as soon as everyone lost interest he went and sulked and had heart-to-heart talks with people and cried cos he’s gay. I didn’t fall for it. It was all for attention purposes and really got on my nerves.

My theory is that it was mostly for the benefit of Sarah but she’s so soft she gave him loads of sympathy. You see, I reckon Gethin’s jealous deep down of Michael because now he’s come along, Sarah’s no longer following Gethin round like a little sheep in hope she’ll get a snog out of him. He didn’t want to know at the time but now it’s the whole situation of wanting what he can’t have. I may be wrong but it’d be a very Gethin-like thing to do.

He did ask me if he could talk to me at one point but I refused to go out of the room with him cos I had a feeling that if he was going to go all serious. I’d either get annoyed or laugh and I didn’t really want to fall out with him.

I had a minor jokey disagreement with Jake while he was watching the Formula 1 on TV. I asked why he found it so interesting and he eventually came out with a comment that girls only like football for the perve factor. That pissed me off so much so I put up and argument. He did admit in the end that he knows that’s not why I watch it. Why can’t I just like the game? Grrr.

I left Jake watching TV to go and make some fake cum at one point. Cat found a recipe a while ago on the internet and was going to spread it round Mr L’s room (ha ha ha!!!) so we thought we’d test it out. It didn’t work. We ended up with a runny yellow concoction consisting of egg white, sugar, mayonnaise, flour, evaporated milk, arrowroot, salad cream and lots more. It was pretty mingin’! (We didn’t actually follow a recipe, we guessed!)

A few of us had a go at my drinking games. We played Fuzzy Duck, Bunnies, something with matches and something where you had to pick a bottle up with your mouth while standing on one leg. We got bored pretty quickly though cos none of us were that pissed.

Sarah, Michael, Jake and I all went in Sarah’s car to get Chinese takeaway and stopped to pick Floyd up from The Green Dragon on the way back. He was still working so I used my superb waitressing skills and help him tidy up faster so he could finish his shift. It’s scary how it all came back to me!

When we got back, we ate too much food and all nearly exploded but it’s too nice to leave leftovers! Sarah and Michael then had to go out again to take Cat home cos she had to teach Sunday school this morning.

Cat got upset at one point too, all because of fucking Mr L. She checked his email and discovered a letter which someone had written for him to print off and put with his application forms for new jobs. It was all about why he’d resigned (cos of the allegations made against him) and went cringingly onto say how he loves his job and how he’ll work extra hard to prove himself etc. Tosser!

The part that really got to Cat though was a bit saying that the head of our school would back him up about what an “asset” he was. It sounds like Mr C didn’t believe what Cat was saying. Mr bloody L is going to be allowed to teach again and it’ll happen all over again with more pupils. With any luck though, nobody will want to risk taking him on.

Even though we were all full from Chinese, we kept finding chocolates and sweets all over the house and therefore we all felt even more sick!

It really is a mess in Lizzie’s house. You can hardly move for rubbish and there’s about 4 inches of dust on the vacuum cleaner! Luckily Lizzie said Jake and I could share her sister’s bed so we didn’t have to sleep in amongst the mess. Mind you, it took us a while to clear the crap off her sister’s bed too!

We went to bed pretty early actually. Sarah and Michael shared another bedroom and the others slept on the living room floor.

I left Jake on the bed to go in the bathroom and came back to find him in the bed with no clothes on at all! We just kissed and cuddled for a bit then…

[CENSORED! I can’t include what I wrote because I covered all the gory details at some point with a thick black pen, probably before I went to uni when I feared Mum or Abby would find my diaries. I’m not going to pretend I’m not relieved I don’t have to cringe my way through sharing that sort of stuff.]

We got some sleep after that and it was really nice being able to snuggle up together. It was really nice waking up with him there this morning too. We cuddled for ages before Sarah knocked on the door to say she was leaving soon if we wanted a lift. We all ended up going to McDonald’s for breakfast (mmm, bacon roll!) and Rory was working. The McDonald’s uniform actually makes him look vaguely straight!

Jake got a lift back with Karen cos she was dropping Lizzie off and he lives in the next close to Lizzie. I don’t like leaving him, especially when Karen’s there. I’m going to sound really paranoid now but she keeps flirting with him, I’m sure! He was complaining this morning about his hair being a mess and she started stroking his head saying, “Ahh!”. She laughs at him all the time and kept saying he was sweet last night.

Hugo kept ringing him too and Karen made sure she answered it and said, “Hi! This is Big ‘n’ Bouncy Escorts. How may I help you?” Actually, that was quite funny though. I probably wouldn’t notice as much if I didn’t know that she used to fancy him. Ugh, I don’t know! I don’t think she’s really a threat though!

When I got home this morning, Jake sent me a message saying he’s sorry if he hurt me (pain-wise) last night and not to feel guilty about it. Ooh, I love him sooo much! 🙂

Sarah told me in the car on the way home that she thinks Michael was expecting to go all the way last night but he said he respected her for not wanting to rush it. Aww, sweet! She said she did 2 to him and he did 3 to her on our ranking system.

Just to explain, my mates and I have come up with numbers to represent what stage was reached with lads, just in case we don’t want to say properly what we did if other people are there. It goes:

1 = Snog
2 = Grope
3 = Hands
4 = Mouths
5 = Sex

So, if I ever use those numbers in here, that’s the explanation for it.

I’ve spoken to Jake a couple of times today on the phone cos he decided not to come here cos he’s really tired and doesn’t feel like getting the buses and taxis. (His brother’s getting that Punto but Jake won’t be insured on it.)

I’ve just been texting Jake now and I apologised again for last night. He said it doesn’t matter and that it didn’t last very long the first time so that’s the longest it’s lasted yet!

Oh no, I’ve got a driving lesson tomorrow. I’ve forgotten what to do!


We hid her bra under a bucket – 28th May 2001

Monday 28th Today was sooo good! Actually, it didn’t start off too well cos Karen demanded us to all be at her house for 9am so, because my parents were still in bed and there were no buses cos it’s a bank holiday, I had to walk there in the pouring rain with big heavy bottles of drinks in my bag. I gave up at the end of Crofters Lane and rang Sarah to see where she was. Luckily Michael had picked her up and was going to drive past me so I got a lift with them.

Then I got a phone call from Jake saying he was stuck at home and wouldn’t be able to go unless someone could pick him up. Nobody volunteered so he got pissed off with me (cos I was the one talking to him) which wasn’t very fair, saying that he always used to ferry them about when he had a car. That was a good point. Eventually it was decided that Michael would get Jake and Karen would go to Asda and get more food. Jake cheered up after that.

We were just about to get going when someone decided we needed spades (?!) so we took a detour to Cat’s house to get some and ended up with 2 huge garden spades.

Once we finally set off, the day began to improve. As we neared Ainsdale, the rain began to stop and eventually we saw some sunlight in the distance. Nine of us went in the end. There was me, Jake, Isaac, Denny, Michael, Sarah, Lizzie, Cat and Karen, and we all get on (even though Karen can be very annoying) so that probably helped it to be a good day.

When we finally arrived, we looked like we were on some sort of major expedition on the walk from the cars to the beach. We had 5 disposable barbecues, a little pavilion thing, rugs, a big groundsheet, bags of food and drink, towels, changes of clothes and loads more! We got some funny looks from golfers and dog walkers!

There was a weird yellow substance in all the puddles on the way to the beach. This worried me and Cat cos it looked a bit dodgy. We intended to get a sample and force some chemistry teacher at school to analyse it just in case we were in danger but nobody wanted to touch it. Oh well. Maybe we’re better off not knowing!

When we reached the sand dunes, we found a nice little hollow and put the groundsheet down and all the other stuff. We set up the pavilion/shelter thingy on a flatter bit and the barbecues away from anything flammable. We don’t think we were really allowed barbecues there but there was no-one about and the ground was damp and we were starving so we started lunch. Mmm, I love barbecues and it was really good having one on the beach! We all felt like we were on that Survivor programme that’s on ITV at the moment! (Well, except we weren’t voting people off the beach and doing loads of stupid tasks and things.)


[Cat, Lizzie, Isaac, Karen, Jake, me, Denny & Sarah]

After lunch, the weather warmed up a bit and we actually caught a glimpse of blue sky. So, we all decided to go to the sea for a paddle. However, when we got there, there were loads of dead things floating about, brown water and a layer of yellowish foam. I decided not to go in too far due to this but Lizzie, Isaac, Karen and Cat waded right out.

Minging sea

It was pretty windy and so the waves were quite big and the tide was coming in. I kept losing sight of the 4 of them and they were drifting along the beach. They eventually swam back and were soaking. Cat said she could feel currents under them and it was hard swimming back. Glad I didn’t go in. I’m also suspicious (due to the colour and consistency of the water) that a sewage pipe may not be too far away!

When we got back to our little camp thing, I started digging a big hole. Lizzie also dug a smaller hole in which she buried Karen’s trainers! Other people helped me dig and it ended up really deep. I was proud. My shoulders now hurt though!

Tess in sand hole

I’m sure we shouldn’t have done it cos I remember from the Biology field trip that the dunes are protected or something. Oops.

Karen had hung her bra up on the shelter thing (it wasn’t even wet) and was wandering around wearing only a towel and a cardigan with only one button done up, obviously trying to show off her body to the lads there. This annoyed the rest of us so when she wandered off somewhere, we hid her bra under a bucket (childish, I know!) and replaced it with Cat’s which was wet and about 3 times the size of Karen’s. She didn’t notice until she went to put it on! Then we all felt a bit mean (except Lizzie who though it was hilariously funny) so we replaced Cat’s bra with Karen’s again. She must’ve eventually noticed cos a while later it’d gone. Well, unless it blew away!

Lizzie began to bury Denny’s legs while he was trying to sunbathe but she ended up modelling him a giant penis out of sand which wrapped around his sand legs and went on for miles. We called it Denny’s Anaconda cos we decided that to catch females it would wrap itself around them etc!

Denny's anaconda

Cat then made Lizzie a cleavage out of sand (she hasn’t got one in real life) and put Cat’s bra over it. It looked quite good actually, in a realistic sort of way.

Meanwhile, Sarah and Michael had wandered down to the beach… alone. I went up on the sand dunes to have a quick look at how they were progressing and I was very pleased to see that they were holding hand. 🙂

I went and sat in my hole for a bit cos it was getting windy and I was getting a bit sand-blasted. I then began to dig a lemming hole (well, obviously they live in snow but I like lemmings and it seemed about the right size for one) which ended up the length of my arm. Then Jake started digging downwards and the tunnels met up and we could hold hands. It was really good!

Lemming hole diagram



Sarah snogged Michael when they were on the beach. She told me when we were having another barbecue for tea.

When it began to get cold and our eyes contained more sand than we could stand and our hair became matted and our clothes wouldn’t dry, we dug up Karen’s trainers and decided to go home.

We stopped off at some pub with a Wacky Warehouse to get a drink and make use of the toilets on the way back. Then in the car park, the 5 of us (me, Jake, Michael, Sarah and Cat) in Michael’s car were just putting stuff in the boot and Karen wouldn’t even wait for 2 mins. She just said, “You know where you’re going, don’t you?” and then zoomed off. We didn’t know where we were going at all and got lost somewhere round Bootle.

Eventually we found our way back to the East Lancs and stopped off at Mr L’s house on the way so we could see where he lives. The house was all dark so we turned round in his drive and I had a look over his garden fence. Just grass and a scrubby little path.

Wonder if his wife’s chucked him out. Hope so. Hope he’s having to sleep in a bin liner in a patch of brambles by the motorway so he has easy access to his potential new job at Little Chef! Ha ha ha!!! 🙂


It’s all a myth about orgasms – 25th March 2001

Sunday 25th
1 week + 4 days to go!

Sarah, Lizzie, Karen and I all stayed over at Cat’s house last night cos her parents were out. It was a VERY interesting night!

First of all, we signed Mr L up to Manline on the internet so with any luck he’ll be getting lot of emails from gay blokes wanting him… bad! Ha ha ha!!!

Then we settled down in the living room and started playing drinking games such as Fuzzy Ducks where everyone in turn says “fuzzy duck” and at any time someone can say “Does he?” and you have to go round the opposite was saying “ducky fuzz”. As you can imagine, things like “duzzy fuck” and “fucky duzz” got said, in which case you had to drink.

I then walked Suzie home before going back to Cat’s to play Truth or Dare. It started off a bit crap but once we got into it, people were revealing allsorts!

Here’s what I found out about my friends:


  • Has given Gethin number 4 on more than one occasion, the first time being in London while a few of us were in the room. He pushed her head in a southerly direction and she did it. She said it didn’t really taste of much but it made her gag cos it was sticky and she had to swallow seeing as she was in bed and had nowhere to spit. I’d heard her moving about in London but she told me that she just couldn’t sleep! Liar!
  • After London, she gave Gethin 4 more at various people’s houses.
  • Gethin returned the favour at Ewan Swann’s house and Stuart Hobbs saw it happen! Well, he could only see Lizzie’s head and a lot of movement under the sheets. He assumed right as to what was going on. Lizzie said Gethin did have an effect on her, the way she had on him!
  • Wanked off Big Paul in his car at the park. Nothing “happened” cos he kept saying it was so good that he didn’t want it to end! She had to stop though cos her mum phoned and demanded she went home. Lizzie said she was glad cos Paul started saying stuff like, “I want to be inside you!” Hah!
  • Got number 3-ed by Declan even though he confessed he’d never done it before.
  • Declan also number 4-ed her once.
  • Intends to lose her virginity before she’s 18.


  • Went on a date with this lad called Russell and ended up in the woods with him. He got her to wank him off but when he said, “Just think what your mouth could do down there!” she drew the line.
  • Had sex with Big Paul!!! Shock horror!!! We didn’t know!! There were rumours but she denied them until tonight. It happened down some alleyway. She said she was really pissed and couldn’t say no. She said he ended up with grazed knees cos he lay on his back and she had to do all the work! They didn’t use any protection (stupid!) so she told him she didn’t want to get pregnant so nothing happened in her. We informed her that it could still happen and she said she knew and had been weighing herself all the time, just in case she’s in the situation of Sonia out of Eastenders!
  • Wanked off some stranger on a platform in the middle of Mr Smith’s!


  • Wanked off Gethin in her bed after he forced her hand downwards (but we knew that).
  • Says the Bluebell story’s not true! Maz number 4-ed her in Derby but with very little success cos “he was just sort of kissing”.
  • Didn’t like it or when he kissed her mouth afterwards! Yuk!
  • Never had an orgasm → thinks it’s a myth for women to have them!


Karen then asked the question, “Do you masturbate?” to us all. There was silence for a few seconds before Cat started the ball rolling and admitted she did. The rest of us followed her lead except Sarah who had a look of complete shock over her face! She said she’d never even considered it cos she thought it’s all a myth about orgasms and stuff! Poor innocent Sarah! Cat offered to loan her Mr L to prove that not all men are hopeless like, obviously, the lads she’s had are! I sort of explained that I had Jake normally but Diane started going on about how it’s stress relief and stuff!

25-03-01 Cat educating Sarah

[Cat educating Sarah, perhaps?!]

I have to say, it was quite a lot better a night than I thought it was going to be! ‘Interesting’ is probably the best word to use! I told all too about things I’ve done with Jake but I didn’t go into quite as much detail as some people did!

It makes me wonder though what Jake’s told people. I’m sure he must have at least talked to his roommate about stuff like that. I might ask him at some point. I wouldn’t be annoyed cos I can’t complain, I’m just interested.

Lizzie’s surprisingly trustworthy! She’s known for ages about Karen and Big Paul but didn’t say anything. I suppose maybe it’s smaller secrets like who’s snogged who that she tells.

When I got home this morning I just lay about for a bit cos I was pretty tired. Jake phoned me at about 7pm. He said he’s shadowing tomorrow morning though so he’ll ring me at about 8:30pm in the evening. He said he won’t be doing much other than his laundry and playing computer games today cos it’s his day off.

We started trying to decide where we can meet each other for the 1st time when he gets back but we can’t think of anywhere. We don’t want to meet at either of our houses cos our families would be there, we don’t want to meet in a pub cos there’s be too many other people and we’d have no chance of being alone, and he doesn’t want to meet outside e.g. between my house and The Dog cos it’d be “weird”! Basically he wants a car but isn’t going to get one just yet so it’s not looking likely we’ll be alone for long.

He said he can’t wait to see me and wants me to sleep in his bed while he is (i.e. when he’s getting over his jetlag). I don’t think I’d help him sleep somehow! He bro and did are both going away over Easter but unfortunately their holidays only overlap by 2 days. Oh well, we’ll have to make the most of them! 🙂 He repeated that he does want to see me, badly!

He wanted to know what I told the others at Cat’s last night so I just said I told them how far we’ve got but didn’t go into any details. He said he doesn’t discuss stuff like that with people which I’m quite pleased about actually!


P.S. The phone got cut off twice tonight and Jake told me that he might not always be able to ring back if that happens cos he doesn’t always have the change needed to start off the call or something.

Today’s emails →

25-03-01 Jake email25-03-01 Tess email

He’s still a bit pissed from last night – 28th February 2001

Wednesday 28th
5 weeks + 1 days to go!

Sarah’s being really daft! Michael’s been texting her and stuff but she still wants Maz, a gimp she was seeing ages ago. He never contacted her and now someone is, she’s complaining! I don’t get it!

I got this letter from Michael this morning. →

28-02-01 Michael letter.jpg

I like getting letters. It was weird seeing those photos too cos I’ve not seen those particular ones before.


[Left to right standing or being held: Michael’s mum, Hayley’s mum, Hayley, don’t know the lady, Michael’s cousin, my mum, me, Isaac’s mum and Isaac. Left to right sitting: Don’t know the boy, Michael and Connie.]


[Top step: Me and Connie. Bottom step: Michael’s cousin, Hayley and Daisy.]


[Standing: Michael’s mum. Sitting on swing thing: Daisy’s mum, Daisy, Connie, Isaac’s mum, Isaac’s brother, me, my mum and Abby. Front: Michael’s friend Ian, Michael and Isaac.]

Jack phoned me at about 4:50pm today. He told me he’s not intending on skiing today cos he’s still a bit pissed from last night apparently! He said he’s still got to go to Lake Louise though to get some award for passing Level 1 so he says he might try and get a bit of a tan while he’s there cos it’s gone really sunny. He mentioned again about bleaching his hair so maybe he really will do it!


Today’s emails →

28-02-01 Jake email

Rescued from creepy lads! – 20th February 2001

Tuesday 20th
6 weeks + 2 days to go!
(Until Jake gets back) 🙂

Hello!!! I can’t believe I’ve had 20 diaries before this one! It doesn’t seem like 2 minutes since I started my first one when I was about 13!

I’ve not done very much during the day today other than attempt to cut Mollie’s (our dog) hair with Mum and then go to the hairdressers myself. I just had it trimmed and had blonde streaks done again but it looks quite a lot lighter than it has done in the past.

I went into Warrington tonight with my friends Sarah, Lizzie and Karen. We all met up in Edison’s to start with and got a few drinks there before moving on to Churchill’s. Edison’s had been quite lively (although I’m sure half the people in there were only about 14!) but Churchill’s was pretty much dead! We just had one drink there before going back to where we started.

Abby’s (my sister) boyfriend, Connor, was in there by then with his mate from kickboxing, Chris, who’s a bit thick! Those 2 stuck with us for the rest of the night and Sarah and Chris ended up getting together.

Connor and I just sort of stuck together because neither of us are single so we couldn’t go off with other people like all my friends we doing. I’m glad he was there actually cos I’d have been stuck on my own nearly all night otherwise!

We eventually went to Mr Smith’s (a club) and stayed there for the rest of the night. I just danced most of the time and I was always on hand if any of my mates needed to be rescued from creepy lads!

Connor was driving so he saved us money by giving me and Sarah a lift back to my house.

I sent Jake/Jacob/J (My boyfriend! That’s the selection of names he has so I might use different ones when I’m writing about him!) a 2nd email when I got in. I had quite a bit to drink which made typing a bit difficult! I sent him one this afternoon too cos I wouldn’t have been able to speak to him on the phone if he rang from Canada cos I’ve not really been in all day.


Today’s emails →

20-02-01 Jake email20-02-01 Tess email


Rory ended up cuffed to a fence – 26th January 2001

Friday 26th
9 weeks + 6 days to go!

College was boring today this morning so I didn’t mind having to go to John Moore’s Uni later on, even if it was during my free periods. My Sports Studies group all had to go and use the library there for research to help with our coursework but, cos Miss P’s a thick bitch and forgot to check beforehand if she could take us, she left it too late and wasn’t allowed so we had to make our own way there. Rachael Hollins and Tanya Potter were driving but all we had to go by were some crappy directions that Miss P wrote down so we ended up getting completely lost!

When we finally found it, nobody really knew what sort of stuff we needed to research cos there was no teacher with us. We just made use of the rip-off photocopiers (7p per sheet!) and went to find a chippy and then came home!

Jake phoned me at the normal time (about 4:30ish) today but, again, didn’t really have much to tell me! I think I prefer that cos if he was going on for ages about what a good time he’s having then I’d just get really jealous and worry he won’t want to come home. Hang on, I’m doing that already!

A load of us did The Run [a pub crawl] again tonight and, again, it was quite good! I stuck with Cat and Suzie mainly, like I did last week cos everyone else seemed to be pairing off.

Karen looked like such a whore! She was wearing her dog collar (as in one from a pet shop, not the church kind!) and brought her whip and handcuffs too! Rory ended up cuffed to a fence with Karen cracking her whip near him!

Run - Karen in control

Other stuff happened but I’ve mentioned it all in the 2nd email to Jake. [See the emails after my daily ‘Bye!’]

Sarah was following Gethin round like a little sheep again. That worries me cos I don’t want her fancying him again just because she’s FINALLY decided to give up on Maz. She needs to find a lad who lives around here and who isn’t gay!

Cat needs to find a lad that’s a bit similar to our age and who isn’t a teacher!

I know all that’s easier said than done though! Good relationships always seem like something that happens to other people when you’re single too! Before I met Jake, I thought I was never going to find anyone and even now I still can’t quite believe that I did! I tell that to people like Sarah and Cat [yet they shockingly didn’t punch my smug little face] but they still think there’s no way it’ll happen to them. I hope it does!

I still don’t feel all that lucky at the moment cos Jake’s away but everyone keeps saying I should just be glad I’ve got someone, even if he’s not in the same country. I am really but it’s still in the back of my mind that something bad could happen to him and I’ll never see him again. I know that’s really negative but I can’t help it!

I miss him sooooo much!!!


Today’s emails →

26-01-01 Jake email26-01-01 Tess email pre-drink26-01-01 Tess email drunk

Everyone hates Hayley – 5th January 2001

Friday 5th A big group of us did The Run [a pub crawl] tonight and I discovered that everyone hates Hayley cos she’s been such a bitch to everyone.

The Run

[Left to right: Hayley, Cat, me, Jake, Floyd, Karen, Lizzie and Gethin.]

Sarah told me that when we went for a Chinese, Hayley had told her in the toilets that once Jake’s gone, I’ll try and muscle in on their friendship! Bitch! I don’t like her now either!

Jake got really, really pissed and was hugging everyone (he even managed to fall on the floor with Maisie!) and stuff. He started falling asleep in his Chinese when we got back to mine and I got photographic evidence!


[The photographic evidence.]

He stayed at mine and if he hadn’t have been so drunk I think something could’ve happened but he just fell asleep!


A pub not a youth centre – 4th January 2001

Thursday 4th We all had to go back to college today which wasn’t much fun.

When lessons were finally over, Hayley and I went to meet to meet up with Michael Amhurst. He’s got a car so he picked us up from outside the school and we went to The Coach and Horses.

We expected it to be awkward but it wasn’t too bad actually. He seems really nice (personality-wise) and was okay looking. He told us stuff about school and that he does rowing and which universities he’s applied for and stuff. It was quite weird seeing him after so long actually!


[Left to right: Isaac, Hayley, me and Michael after getting chucked out of the pub.]

We ended up getting chucked out of The Coach by this big gruff woman who works there cos we weren’t all drinking something and she yelled at us about it being a pub not a youth centre or something.

There was no-one else in there except the 3 of us and a few of our mates so Cat decided to be cheeky and asked her if she needed the space! Then Hayley pointed out that she’d just finished her drink and the gruff woman turned round and told her to get out so the rest of us went too, leaving a completely empty pub!

Jake came round to mine eventually this evening. We didn’t do much except talk. He told me I’m a really good kisser and that if he was 3 years older he’d marry me! 🙂 Cool! He then asked if we can pretend instead so I said we could cos that sounded really sweet!

That Dido song that’s on the radio all the time now is really going to remind me of Jake leaving because it always comes on when we’re together now!

Michael gave me a lift home after that which I thought was really nice of him cos I’d have had to walk otherwise.


I’m going to slap her myself soon! – 13th and 15th December 2000

Wednesday 13th It was my last school Christmas concert with Swing Band tonight at the Parr Hall in Warrington. It all went really well, I think. Jake and Connor ended up coming to watch though!



Friday 15th Everyone’s beginning to get really pissed off with Hayley and I think it’s about time someone said something to her. She’s always been a selfish bitch but nobody ever stands up to her cos it’s too much hassle!

She’s started slagging off Karen and Lizzie really badly, she’s been interfering with Henry Rockwell’s life by stirring things with him and Ellen Tate (who are a potential couple!), she’s accused me of keeping stuff from her but I have no idea what, and there are plenty of other reasons for her to annoy people.

The thing is that I know that once one person says something, loads of other people will back them up but nobody wants to be brave just in case everyone else keeps quiet! I’m going to slap her myself soon!

Karen, Lizzie and I went out tonight, even though everyone else was being boring and staying in. We started off in The Coach and Horses but then moved on to The Beech Tree where Jake was having a small works Xmas do. It was over by the time we got there so he came to join us.

Lizzie, Karen and I then spotted the 2 most drop-dead-gorgeous teachers from our school, Mr L (who Cat’s got a “thing” with!) and Mr P-K! So, we just happened to sit at a table next to them.

Lizzie’s dad gave me and Jake a lift home cos he stayed in our spare room tonight.

My legs have gone sort of numb like my hand did. I’m getting really worried!