Cat was insistent that his room smelled of cum – 16th August 2001

Thursday 16th Before I got my results today. I kept getting that awful sinking feeling every time I remembered.

I was one of the first people to get up the stairs in college so I was one of the first to receive results. Mrs P handed me the piece of paper with my results on. I couldn’t believe it when I brought myself to look at them.

I got:

  • BIOLOGY >>> C

Exactly how I did it I have no idea but I’m VERY VERY pleased with myself!! 🙂

I rang Mum and she had to check it was me and not my sister when I told her. Abby got her AS Level results and got a load of As and a C.

Jake came to meet me at college cos we were all going out to celebrate/drown our sorrows in The Beech Tree. This is what my friends got:
(N = Near miss but still a fail
U = Totally failed)

  • Cat 4 >>> As and a B
  • Sarah >>> a B, a D and an E
  • Lizzie >>> a C, a D and an N
  • Karen >>> ?
  • Isaac >>> 3 Cs
  • Gethin >>> ?
  • Denny >>> ?
  • Floyd >>> an N and 2 Us
  • Freda >>> an E
  • Dougie >>> 4 As and a B
  • Emma >>> ?

Jake had a party at his house (cos his Dad and sister are away) this evening. Quite a lot of people turned up in the end. It was okay but I hardly ever saw Jake cos he was too busy following Emma round like a little sheep. He used to fancy her years ago and I think he still does. Every time she sat down so did he and I kept coming into rooms to find them sat on the floor together. They also went off and were jumping in someone’s hedge at one point. I’m sure Jake hugged her at one point but it was dark so I wasn’t sure.

I spent most of the time in Robbie’s room with Cat. It was quite funny cos Cat was insistent that his room smelled of cum and Gethin was very obviously coming on to him.

[Cat sent me in to confirm the aroma.]

When everyone decided to get some sleep, Jake and I both slept in his bed. We had a minor fall out but he insisted he didn’t fancy Emma. Yeh right! When we were in bed, 3 happened but that was it unfortunately.


S H I I I I I I I I T !!!!! – 15th August 2001

Wednesday 15th I went round to Cat’s again today to help her scan some more photos. There are piles of them everywhere. It’s going to take her weeks to sort them all out. [I’m very glad she did as they’ve been a great source of terrible photos for IDST – Ta very much, Cat!]

Floyd was there too so we got quite a lot scanned and saved. For some reason, Floyd decided he wants to adopt me. Hmm.

Mum let me drive to Jake’s this afternoon. When I got there, he kept trying to take my clothes off again. I wouldn’t have minded had his brother not also been in the house! His brother was actually being quite nice to me today and wished me luck for tomorrow.

Urrghh! That reminds me…..

S H I I I I I I I I T !!!!!

I get my results for my A Levels tomorrow. Oh no, I’m going to finally officially know I’m well and truly thick!

These are my own predicted grades for tomorrow:

BiologyEI don’t understand it and I’ve always got crap module grades.  
GeographyDI totally cocked up my last 2 exams due to not doing anywhere near enough revision and knowing nothing about Guernsey or ICI.
Sports StudiesEMiss P annoyed me so I didn’t feel like doing any work for her in lessons.

Mr B was amazingly boring so I spent his lessons drifting in and out of consciousness.

Mr P-K was amazingly fit so there was no hope of me concentrating on my work.  
General StudiesFailIt’s complete bollocks.


Like I’d get in a car with him! Creep! – 12th to 14th August 2001

Sunday 12th I went to Reiss beach this afternoon with Mum, Dad, Auntie S, Tom, Minnie and the metal detector. That was fun until we started getting eaten alive by midges!

This evening, Rhian, Abby and I went out cruising in a car with Rhian’s friend Dee and her brother Graeme. Everybody in Wick seemed to be out so it was quite good. At one point, Abby and I got out and stood on the street cos Dee had to home and Duncan kept driving past with his cousin, Kate. They waved and then stopped and asked if we wanted a lift anywhere. Like I’d get in a car with him! Creep!

Another car full of lads also stopped and asked for a “date”. Of course, we basically told them to fuck off cos they were obviously total gimps.

Later, we got in Sandy’s lovely car with Rhian cos her boyfriend, Marc, was in there with him. He took us up to Noss Head cos we’d told him about the Highland cows and the lads wanted to see them!

I was quite surprised when I first got in Sandy’s car cos I expected thumping dance music like everyone else had blasting out. However, Sandy had The Corrs album on. It was quite nice actually!

When we got to Noss Head, we stopped in the car park and saw that there were already some people there. It was Dunny and Kelly and a couple of others smoking stuff. They were obviously drunk/stoned (or both) cos Kelly got on someone’s moped, started it up and whizzed straight into a nearby ditch! It was so funny! The lads tried to get it out and got totally covered in mud while Kelly just laughed and watched them without a speck of dirt on her!


Monday 13th Travelled home. Really boring day.


Tuesday 14th I had another dream about Ferny last night. Weird.

I went round to Cat’s today with all my photos cos she’s putting them all on CD so all our friends can have a copy of each other’s piccys.

After that, I went round to Jake’s. We had a bit of a jokey falling out about splitting up at uni but it’s obvious he’s genuinely worried about it. He also started trying to undress me later, just as Mum arrived to pick me up. Damn it!


I slapped Abby today – 11th August 2001

Saturday 11th We went to John o’Groats today to get presents and stuff. I bought Jake a pottery worm and a blue lump of glass.

We also went to the church in Wick to see Uncle R’s mural thing. It’s got him, Mr Boom and Moses holding a piece of jigsaw in it. Mr Boom’s in it cos the guy who plays him fell out with Uncle R and told him never to draw him again….. so now he puts him on everything! Moses is holding a piece of jigsaw cos they were going to do the mural like a jigsaw but changed their minds.

We also saw the old Sinclair crypt. It’s a bit creepy but pretty cool.

I slapped Abby today cos she started calling me pathetic for some reason. It made me feel better but I’m now scared she’s going to batter me back!


The vodka flowed – 10th August 2001

Friday 10th Abby and I left the lighthouse today cos we’re staying in Rhian’s room tonight. The lighthouse guy’s wife was showing some lad around this morning. He’d come all the way from New Zealand to trace the Sinclair clan (cos he is one) and he said he’d seen Sinclairs from Canada too.

It was Rhian’s boyfriend Marc’s party tonight so Rhian, Abby and I all went along. There were quite a lot of people squeezed into his bedroom at one point. I knew a few of them from previous trips to Wick but most people I’d never seen before. They were all nice enough though.

As the night progressed and the vodka flowed, it all got a bit more interesting. A lot of the lads decided it might be amusing to shave their heads and did it. A lad called “Jubb” ended up with a rather unattractive Mohican thing which was a shame cos he looked quite nice with hair.

Jubb spent a lot of time making me promise not to do anything with Duncan Morgan. Duncan was very obviously after me but he’s turned into a bit of a knob since I snogged him 2 years ago so I took Jubb’s advice and avoided him like the plague. Well, I tried anyway but he kept appearing and putting his arm round me and stuff. I kept telling him I had a boyfriend but he wouldn’t listen. Yuck!

I also had my arse grabbed by Colin Dunn a.k.a. Dunny as I was walking up the stairs but I didn’t mind that so much cos he’s far less minging than Duncan! Although he’s got a girlfriend, Kelly… who was there!

There was one lad there who I actually quite like cos he seemed fairly nice and normal and didn’t shave his head. For reasons as yet unknown to me, he’s called “Ferret”. I’ll have to find out why, along with his real name. Apparently he lives in the house where my dad’s family lived when they first moved to Wick. They left my dad where we live now though after moving down there for a couple of years from Thurso.

Later on when we went for a wander to Carter’s bar (no-one got in except me cos I had ID), I overheard some lads asking Ferret if I was the one he fancied. I never heard an answer. Damn it!

[Tess, Rhian and Abby]

A lad called Sandy gave us a lift back to Marc’s in his lovely yellow/orange Citroen Saxo. Some lad called Frodo then gave us a lift back to Rhian’s.

Overall it was a pretty good night. Jubb sent me a weird message which made no sense off Marc’s phone and when Rhian rang Marc, Duncan was asking if he could speak to me and Abby. Gimp! When he wasn’t groping me, he was asking Abby to persuade me to go with [snog] him. Yeah right!


I don’t want to be a possessive little freak – 9th August 2001

Thursday 9th Mum, Dad, Rhian, Abby, Tom, Minnie and I all tried to find the beach near the lighthouse today. We failed and ended up going to Sinclair and Girnigoe Castle instead. They’re sooo creepy! It’d be awful being stuck there on your own at night!

[That’s the castle on the left in the background.]

After that, we all went back to Auntie S’s house. We just stayed in and went on the internet and stuff. I drove to the Co-op and back though with Mum. 🙂

I’m not too happy now. I rang Jake before to discover he’s at Emma’s party. I got pissed off cos I don’t like missing out on stuff and half of the people there fancy him, including Suzanna the Slapper who was about to throw herself at him on The Run [a pub crawl] once before.

I know it’s not his fault that people fancy him but I couldn’t help getting annoyed. I can’t stand the thought of people even considering flirting with him when I’m not there cos he’s too polite to just walk away. I’m getting as bad as Abby’s boyfriend! Nooooo!!! I don’t want to be a possessive little freak!

What annoyed me more was when I rang him back to apologise and he let slip that he’d told Sarah about what I’d said to him and that I’m basically being paranoid. However, Sarah apparently told him that she knows people who fancy me. WHO?!?


She tried to wee on her biscuits – 8th August 2001

Wednesday 8th My family all went to see Mum and Dad’s friends that used to own the shop in our village. They moved up to Dunnet a few months ago.

Abby went horse riding on a horse called Richard and Dad wet fishing off the cliffs so Mum let me have a drive the car. I drove all the way to Gills to find out the ferry times to Orkney and then back again. I got followed by a police car for quite a way which was a bit worrying!

When we got back, Mollie was being really horrible to their dog, Marty, and she tried to wee on her biscuits! I also saw some buzzards.

When we went to Auntie Susan’s for tea, Rhian and Abby went out and I stayed and played on the computer with Tom. When they got back, Abby told me that Rhian said her mate, Laura Morgan, said Abby and I were miserable. Bitch! It’s probably just cos we refused to buy her fags last year!

I spoke to Jake later. He’s at his mate Hugo’s and is going rock climbing tomorrow. He also invited me to a party next week but I reckon it’s only cos I was moaning he never asked me to go out with his friends.


Singing Welsh hymns as they drank wine – 7th August 2001

Tuesday 7th I had a really good dream last night. It was about Will Fernley (a lad I used to fancy a few years ago) and he really fancied me and I was just about to snog him when I woke up. I have no idea why I dreamt about him cos it’s not like I’ve seen or spoken to him recently.

It was Grandma’s funeral today. 😦 Everyone met at Auntie S’s house and went in a long line of cars to the church. I was meant to go in a car with some lady but I wanted to go with Mum cos I was already upset and the lady had annoyed me by telling me and Abby to do another button up on our cardigans cos she could see the red tops we were both wearing. It wasn’t really obvious or bright or anything. She looked really grim and old in her dress anyway which came all the way up to her neck with a hideous scarf wrapped round it.

When we got to the church, I’d just manged to compose myself and then I saw the coffin surrounded by flowers which upset me again.

The family had to sit in a back room for a bit and we were told where to sit and stuff. When we got in the church, I was sat between Abby and Rhian. There were loads of other people there too which was nice.

The whole service was nice but very upsetting. It doesn’t seem like a year ago since I saw Grandma and she was trying to remember which was me and Abby but the length of our hair and stuff. It was only a year ago when we caught her eating trifle when she thought no-one was looking!

The minister said some funny things in the funeral that Grandma had said which made us laugh e.g. how she called the Laurandy Day Care CentrePara Handy‘.

Half way through, I noticed Auntie S’s friend, Mr M, at the other side of the church wearing the most awful, unrealistic wig I’ve ever seen! So, every time I thought I was going to cry, I just looked at him!

There’s a poem in the funeral service card called ‘I Remember, I Remember’ which Grandma liked but couldn’t remember so my Great Uncle Arthur found it for the funeral.

As she was carried out of the church, they played a tune which Mum later told me was a lullaby [I think it was Suo Gân] that Grandma had once suggested singing to me when I was a baby to get me off to sleep. Apparently it worked!

The family and a few others then followed the hearse through Wick to the cemetery. There were a couple of ambulances there when we arrived so we thought something must’ve happened but we soon found out they were there for the burial because Grandma used to be a nurse. That was really nice of them, I think.

Grandma is buried with Granddad and my baby cousin Iain who was stillborn. My cousin Jessica pointed out that if we ever want to find the grave then there are 3 graves on the same row with foreign writing on them.

After the burial, everyone went back to Mackay’s Hotel. I sat on a table with our cousins Ifan, Jessica and Rhian, and Abby. I was talking to Ifan and he said he’d heard I’m “nearly married to an architect”. He’s at uni doing architecture now so someone must’ve told him. He’s going to study at Brighton in September to finish his course. He said me, Rhian and Abby can go and visit him.

This evening, everyone gathered at Auntie S’s. The Welsh people are cool. The one’s who didn’t go home early and stayed for a bit are my dad’s cousins, including his favourite cousin Beti. They’re funny! They spent most of the night singing Welsh hymns as they drank wine….. lots of it!

I met Rhian’s boyfriend Marc. He seems nice but then he didn’t say much really. The family across the road then lit a huge candle and said it was for Grandma.


P.S. We found a good quote in Grandma’s autograph book. It said, “Tis better to be small and shine than great and cast a shadow”. I’m going to tell Sarah that one due her being slightly vertically challenged!

I’ll never pass my driving test – 6th August 2001

Monday 6th Dad got me and Abby insured on the car today so I was allowed to drive it round the quiet roads near the lighthouse. It’s so good!

We went to Auntie S’s again today and then into the town to get stuff to eat etc. I bought the OPM album Menace to Sobriety while I was there.

[God, I’d forgotten about this.]

When we got back I got really upset after having an argument with Abby. She was saying I’ll never pass my driving test and stuff but I got more upset than usual cos I was feeling a bit weak anyway cos of the funeral tomorrow. I’m really worrying about it and what it’s going to be like.

I got upset again later on because Abby and I had to write a card to put with our flowers for tomorrow. In the end, we just put something simple like, “Grandma, With all our love, Tessa and Abby xxx”.

As I drove back to the lighthouse tonight I had little birds flying along in front of the car all the way in the headlights. It was really weird but cute.


They just sat there screaming – 5th August 2001

Sunday 5th I’m now staying in the Laird’s Retreat at Noss Head. It’s pretty cool! We’re in the lighthouse keeper’s cottage right next to the lighthouse which actually works! There are 2 Shetland ponies outside which just wander around freely. They’re called Jet and Ruby and seem to eat anything! There are also Highland cows in a field down the track. They’re a bit scary though with their huge horns!

The guy who owns the place we’re in is called Ian Sinclair and he’s from Manchester. He’s making a kind of library about the Sinclair clan in his bit of the lighthouse because he’s a Sinclair (obviously!) and Sinclair and Girnigoe Castle is very near to us. I can see it from my bedroom window. I’m sharing a room with Abby and I’m glad about that cos it’s a bit creepy and I’d be scared on my own!

The journey up to Caithness wasn’t too bad and we managed it quite quickly too. I saw 2 yellow Puntos (my favourite car) on the way. One was in Tesco car park in Inverness and that was a good one cos it had the registration number: PI INTO

We went to Auntie S’s house first to see everyone. Other than Auntie S, Uncle G, Rhian, Tom and Minnie, my older cousin Jessica and her husband were there too. The house was full of flowers, sympathy cards and cakes. I think cakes are a much more useful (and tasty!) thing to send cos Auntie S is having so many visitors.

Auntie S, Jessica and Rhian came up to see the lighthouse this evening. About 10 mins after they left, Abby got a phone call from Auntie S saying they were trapped on the track cos the Highland cows were stood in front of the gate and wouldn’t budge. None of them wanted to get out of the car to open the gate so they just sat there screaming! Rhian even locked the doors! So, Dad had to go down and rescue them by scaring off the cows with a big stick. It was sooo funny!

I spoke to Jake on the phone and he told me he and his family are moving to the big new houses where the old hospital used to be. He also informed me Emma and Denny are having parties at some point in the week.