I got a bit flustered and couldn’t get my words out – 4th February 2001

Sunday 4th
8 weeks + 4 days to go!

Sunday 4th  Today was pretty weird! I spent most of the day worrying about how much trouble I’d caused in Jake’s family and then his dad phoned me at about 5:15pm!

At first I thought it was either someone from BSM (cos I’ve got a driving lesson booked for Sunday) or someone from a uni. Then when he told me who it was, I thought maybe something had happened to Jake! It turned out though that he was phoning to apologise for Robbie’s Friday night behaviour!

I got a bit flustered and couldn’t get my words out properly cos I really wasn’t expecting a phone call! He then told me he’d received a heart-felt email from Jake telling him about what Robbie had done and said on Friday, and both he and Clara had had strong words with him!

He then just asked if I’d heard from Jake and then asked about Barcelona and said he’d look into it for us. That was basically it and then he apologised again and went.

I feel awful now cos his dad’s obviously feeling guilty, both he and Clara are annoyed with Robbie for saying things, Jake’s upset about it all, Robbie’s going to be annoyed with me and it’s all my fault! I shouldn’t have said anything.

It took a while before Jake phoned which was annoying cos I really wanted to speak to him. He had a day off again today and so didn’t phone until about 5:45pm. He kept telling me not to worry about the Robbie thing and that he was going to speak to his dad after he got off the phone to me.

He told me that some lad called James and some girl called Charlie who have got together had gone into Charlie’s room and done stuff. Then the next morning at breakfast, he heard Charlie’s roommate Abbie shout, “In my room!” He said it was scary how much it reminded him of when we were in Derby and Cat kept saying, “On my bed!” to Sarah after she and Maz had been at it in there!

I’m really worried about college tomorrow. What do I do if I see Robbie? I don’t know how to react cos I don’t know how annoyed he is with me.

I know I shouldn’t have done but I read Jake’s mail tonight. There was one from his dad and I couldn’t resist it! It said stuff about how the only thing he’s said about me is the observation that I’m shy and never indulge in any conversation with him. He’s never there to have a conversation with though and even when he is, Jake always drags me away in case his dad embarrasses him!

There was also an email from his sister and that mentioned me too. She just asked how I was after what Robbie said and that she thought it was really nasty! 🙂


Today’s emails →

04-02-01 Jake email04-02-01 Tess email


They think they could be pregnant! – 23rd January 2001

Tuesday 23rd
10 weeks + 2 days to go!

I had a geography module exam this morning. I only started revising last night so I’m not entirely sure how well it went!

Karen and Rory are officially a couple too now! This College 2 girl and College 1 lad thing’s really catching on! He asked her out via text message last night. It’s quite sweet actually but all these people getting together doesn’t half rub in the fact that I’m alone for ages and have to stay that way!

I suppose I should be grateful that I’ve got a nice, fit boyfriend, even if he is in Canada (which isn’t much use to me right now!) cos some people haven’t got anyone! Seeing Lizzie and Declan all over each other all the time certainly doesn’t help though cos I’m missing being like that with someone. 😦

Mind you, I’m not the only one feeling a bit sorry for myself at the moment. Sarah’s still miserable about Maz and not getting any emails from him when she checks every 5 minutes.

Cat’s also miserable about Mr L [one of our teachers] too but then so’s Donna Sharpe. Cat and Donna actually spoke to each other today about him and discovered the truth. He’s been stringing them both along. It turns out that the reason why Donna spread a rumour about Cat sleeping with Mr L is because she heard that he’d been giving her lifts home so she put 2 + 2 together and came up with that cos that’s exactly what he’d been doing to her.

Donna and Cat now both know that Mr L’s been contacting the other one and if one wouldn’t go round to his house, he’d ask the other. It turns out that the day Cat said no, he asked Donna and she did go round and she did sleep with him.

They’re now both angry with him rather than each other and they’re now plotting revenge! I mean, they could just get him sacked but before they do anything that drastic, they intend to play a few games with him.

There’ve been 2 ideas so far:

  1. Both go to him separately and tell him that they think they could be pregnant! However, that wouldn’t have worked because Cat’s never slept with him.
  2. Act like they’re best mates around him so that he’ll be left wondering whether they know about each other! I think they’ll do that one!

I still can’t believe all this! You hear about it happening to other people but it’s weird when it’s in your school, involving one of your friends!

Both Cat and I are being haunted by skiing! We REALLY want to go but can’t! Everything at the moment seems to revolve around skiing! Mainly it’s cos of the school trip at half term which everyone seems to be going on. Then, everybody is not only talking about it but got all their equipment sent to school today. And:

  • My sister’s using something about the heights of ski resorts for her maths coursework.
  • The PG Tips advert has got one of the chimps coming back from a skiing holiday on it.
  • Ski competitions are on the TV all the time.
  • There are loads of adverts in the paper about it.

Worst of all is Jake who’s getting to ski for 3 months! I know I shouldn’t be jealous of my own boyfriend but I can’t help it!

One of the things Jake and I planned to do together in the future was to go skiing but if I went with him he’d just try and tell me what I should/shouldn’t be doing cos he’ll be dead good (well, I think he is anyway) but I really want to go skiing! It’s not fair!

I pretty much told him all that on the phone tonight (he probably thinks I’m pathetic now!) cos all I wanted was reassurance that he won’t be like that and I will be able to ski again. But no! He almost completely agreed with me, saying we’d only end up falling out cos he’ll be better than me and I won’t like it! Fine then!

He didn’t really have much else to say as usual but I got another “I love you” out of silence! 🙂

I’ve just been having a really long talk with Mum. It was quite good! We have them every so often and just talk about all sorts. She told me I’m very wise and there’s common sense in everything I say, like Dad apparently. I told her I don’t like people very much (I mean, I do but I just don’t like how people have to make everything so complicated!) and she said Dad’s always said that! She says the wise part runs in his side of the family cos my Grandma’s the same. Mum said I’m like her in other ways though.

She can be interesting to talk to when you get into a proper conversation. I just wish she wouldn’t put herself down so much cos she’s not as bad as she seems to think!


Today’s emails →

23-01-01 Jake email

23-01-01 Tess email

On the verge of madness – 13th January 2001

Saturday 13th
11 weeks + 5 days to go!

I spent most of today worrying a lot cos Jake said on the phone last night that he’d try and e-mail me last night when he got in from skiing but he didn’t. Then at 4:00pm (the time when he said he’d try to ring me), he didn’t phone so that made me worry even more. I couldn’t stop crying and thinking what the hell I’d do if something happened to him.

It was pathetic – I couldn’t eat or concentrate and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I’d have felt better if I’d have known I could contact him if I needed to but I can’t.

So, I’d just convinced myself that he was either dead, in a mood cos I hung up so quickly yesterday or in a hospital somewhere, when he rang. I heard my mum say, “Thank God you’ve phoned!” so I knew who it was.

I can’t go on like this for 3 months. If he doesn’t ring or something, I’ll be on the verge of madness through worrying. It’s an awful feeling not knowing but I think the feeling of helplessness cos he’s so far away made me worse. It really worried me, the state I got myself into. I just couldn’t stay calm.

I was so relieved to hear his voice that all the anger I’d had before I picked up the phone (cos he left me worrying like that) went away. It was about 5:30pm our time/10:30am his time so he’d just got up.

He told me the computers in the hotel weren’t working or something but he knew there were other places he could use so he’d e-mail me later. He said that Rob that he’s sharing a room with has got a girlfriend too so they went to some English pub last night. He then said that all the girls seem to have found lads.

One of the lads there knows who Jake is because he’s a friend of Hugo Pratt. Scary! Jake said he lost his orange glasses in the snow when he was skiing yesterday and that he didn’t ring me sooner cos his alarm didn’t go off to wake him up. He also said it’s -15oC there now. I didn’t want him to get off the phone but he had to get the last bus to the ski place or he couldn’t go skiing.

I checked my e-mail before I went to bed tonight and I was very pleased to see he’d sent me this! →

13-01-01 Jake email

It didn’t actually say much and didn’t sound like one he’d send normally so I guessed he’d had someone with him. I sent him one back anyway.

Then when I was in bed before I before, I just got a missed call on my phone but no number came up when I checked. Then I had a call from the voicemail service saying I had a new message. It was Jake’s voice saying he’d e-mailed me but someone had been with him so he didn’t want to write anything too personal cos there was someone else there reading it. He said he’d try and send me another one later and that he loved me before saying bye and hanging up.

I was really annoyed I’d missed the call but at least I can keep his voice for 7 days!


P.S. My reply! →

13-01-01 Tess email

I had a hug off Dougie – 31st December 2000 to 1st January 2001

Sunday 31st to Monday 1st



Freda Fernandez had a New Year party at her house this year so most of my friends went there cos Freda’s parties are usually good! Everyone just got drunk and talked a lot and kissed a lot! Nothing majorly interesting happened but it was still good!

new year 01

[Here we are on the night.]

When Big Ben struck 12:00 and 2001 began, the first thing I did was kiss Jake and we wished each other happy new year. I had a hug off Dougie then which was a good follow up before everyone else started hugging me.

dougie new year 2001

[13 year old me would have swooned so much if she’d known she’d one day get a hug off Dougie.]

The party ended at about 2am and Jake stayed over at mine. I stayed in his bed for a while which was nice.

Jake and I didn’t do much during New Year’s Day. We got bored so went to the Trafford Centre for a bit but then came home and watched TV.

It was sooo nice having New Year with someone that I really love like this. It’s never happened before!


It made him go (a good sort of) funny! – 28th & 29th December 2000

Thursday 28th

It’s snowing!!!

It’s proper thick snow too and everywhere looks so good!

Snow garden

[The garden in the snow that day.]

Jake came round to play in the snow but he was wearing his International Academy ski stuff for Canada which wasn’t very nice. We still had fun though!

Snow field

I got this letter off Michael Amhurst this morning. →



Hayley, Isaac, a few others and I used to know him when we were little but then he moved house away from here. This Xmas, we sent him a card with a photo of what we look like now in it. I wasn’t expecting a reply but it was nice to hear from him.


Friday 29th I had a good day today! The snow’s not melted at all so Jake and I went for a walk up the lane to make the most of it. We kept having snowball fights and then big cuddles! It was so nice!


We then went back to his house and kissed and cuddled and stuff (3). I then gave him a back scratch cos he keeps mithering me for one and it made him go (a good sort of) funny! He then wouldn’t let go of me so I couldn’t go home! 🙂


He didn’t want me to stop! – 26th & 27th December 2000

Tuesday 26th I had quite a good day today. Jake and I went to the Trafford Centre and on the way there we could see snow on the hills in the distance so when we were done in the shops we went in search of snow in the car! We found some eventually but it meant going all the way to Huddersfield!

When we came home, we just lay on my bed. He’s got a cold and was complaining so I started to scratch his back. He really enjoyed it and was groaning and he didn’t want me to stop! He also told me I was gorgeous and pretty and beautiful which cheered me up!

For the rest of the evening, we just cuddled and watched TV on my new TV in my room!


Wednesday 27th Jake and I took Mollie for a walk around Hollingworth Lake today. It was really cold but really nice!

This evening, a group of us went to LA Bowl because Sarah had arranged to meet up with Maz there. She was kept happy but Hayley looked miserable all night because tomorrow’s the anniversary of when she first met that Andy lad a year ago or something.

Cat was a bit miserable too cos she’s had an e-mail from Mr L saying that he can’t let anything more happen between them because he’s beginning to feel guilty.

Cat, Jake and I came up with a name for Jake’s ski bear that I bought him for Christmas. Cat came up with Toby which we all liked but then Jake said he needed something French sounding cos he’s a skier bear so I said Jacques. We all liked that. Jake then decided its surname could be Simpson-Taylor. We all thought that sounded okay so he’s now going to take his bear to Canada and write its name on its passport as Toby-Jacques Simpson-Taylor!

Jake told me his dad offered to take me to Canada before he realised I could ski (it’d be too expensive). Never mind, ey?! 😦


Got annoyed and went to sulk in my room – 23rd to 25th December 2000

Saturday 23rd This evening, Jake, Sarah, a few others and I all went round to Hayley’s house and were forced to sit down and watch her bloody N-Sync video. Jake got really pissed off cos it wasn’t exactly fun and he sat in another room. We then had a minor falling out cos I didn’t follow him and he was annoyed that I hadn’t warned him beforehand.

He took me home and we sat in the car crying until he got so upset he got out and ran off! It scared me for a while but we made up when he eventually came back.


Sunday 24th Jake and I stayed at my house today and watched Clueless on video. We just chatted as well and he said he’s going to find out if we can have a night together at a Travel Inn or somewhere on New Year’s Eve. I sort of hope we can but I’m also a bit worried about what might happen.


Monday 25th


Yeah!! It’s CHRISTMAS!!! I’ve got lots of cool presents including a TV, make-up and the other usual things. Grandma S and Auntie G came round and we had a really nice Christmas dinner. Mmm!


[Auntie G, Mum and Grandma]

Jake and Connor came round this evening and Connor brought his Playstation with him and a Colin McRae game go Jake sat doing that for ages and then told me I pissed him off when I tried to make him stop. So, I got annoyed and went to sulk in my room.


[Jake and I before I got annoyed and went to sulk in my room.]


Yeah, I’ll forgive him!