Everybody jumping on everybody else – 31st August 2000

Thursday 31st This diary is getting way too full but I’ve got yet more e-mails to stick in now. →

Jake cruise email 13Reply to Jake email 13

My mum’s just told me that Mrs Quinn’s died. She’s the mother of Megan Quinn who I was best friends with all the way through primary school and my parents have known her and her husband since I was born, I think. It’s really sad. It was caused by a blood clot in her brain everyone thinks but no-one’s sure. She’s been in hospital for a few weeks though.

I really want/need to see Jake! I can’t stand this much longer! It’s horrible now I know he’s on his way home but I’ve got to wait until Saturday to see him. The time’s going sooo slowly!

I’ve just checked my e-mail for one last time today to see if Jake’s replied to the one I sent him earlier but he hasn’t. I’m not pleased. I asked him to mail me lots today yesterday and he said he’d send me another if I replied to him tonight but he hasn’t. He shouldn’t have got my hopes up cos I’ve been wasting time checking if he’s sent me one all night.

I’m partly pissed off but I’m also worried cos he doesn’t usually say he’ll do something and then doesn’t. I hope nothing’s happened. If he’s okay then he’d better have a good excuse!

I’ll probably get an e-mail tomorrow telling me had had another all-nighter tonight and then going into more details about what fun he had etc. Yes, I am still jealous! I’m also more worried after what he told me on the phone yesterday about everybody jumping on everybody else on the last night. He’s probably not telling me everything anyway cos if the reaction he got to the 2nd mail he sent me when I was in Wick!

Hang on, I’ve just thought, he might well have fallen asleep if he was up all last night! I hope that’s his reason for not replying!

Bye!

P.S. I’ve just sent Jake a 2nd mail anyway saying something like, “Did you get my last mail or are you just not bothering to reply?” I wish I hadn’t now cos he’ll think I’m all moody again!

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One last desperate attempt to get a snog – 29th August 2000

Tuesday 29th I went round to Sarah’s again today to do some more coursework. Jake phoned again and we had another minor falling out cos he told me that he’d been informed that on the last night of cruises, everyone tends to throw themselves at everyone else in one last desperate attempt to get a snog or whatever out of the holiday. He made it sound like he intended on joining in!

So I “accidentally” cut my phone off (i.e. hung up) and then didn’t answer when he rang back and then wished I had once I’d calmed down and ended up sending him an apology for over reacting! He sent me an apology back too. 🙂

I got this postcard off him this morning. →

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It’s slightly more impressive than the one I sent him from Wick!

It was Hayley’s birthday so tonight. She got some free tickets from Mr Smith’s in Warrington so Sarah, Hayley (obviously!), Georgia, Chloe and I went. Maz also came cos Hayley said Sarah could invite him.

We started off in Edison’s which was absolutely packed but Hayley still managed to spot Andy (her ex type thing – I was never sure what went on in the 1st place!) who she’s totally obsessed with. So, she dragged Chloe off to find him with her. That pissed Georgia off cos as soon as Chloe was there, Georgia got totally dropped by Hayley. I know how Georgia feels sort of cos Hayley did exactly the same with me and Sarah for Georgia, the difference bring that Sarah and I weren’t that bothered cos we don’t like Hayley all that much anymore!

Hayley had told us that she’d meet us outside at 10:30pm but when we went out, she didn’t turn up for a good 10 minutes so we all got pissed off cos Hayley had the tickets and if we weren’t in Smith’s by 11pm then we had to pay.

Eventually, Hayley and Chloe turned up and I had to put up with Hayley going on and on about what Andy did when he saw her, which wasn’t much! She also decided she smoked too but we all reckoned it was an attempt to impress Chloe as well as look old. Silly cow! She didn’t impress the rest of us cos it was disgusting!

We got into Smith’s easily enough. Abby and Connor were in there but I’ve been told Mum doesn’t know so I’ve got to keep quiet. Ha ha!! Blackmail material!

It was quite busy in Smith’s too but it was really good! Georgia had quite a bit to drink and felt sick (but wasn’t) and got quite a bit of attention from us asking if she was okay. Then suddenly, Hayley also felt sick and announced she’d had too much to drink (she’d had a Taboo and lemonade and a Breezer or something!) and ran into a toilet cubicle and made some coughing noises and came out with watery eyes. I don’t think she’d really been sick, she’d just picked up on the fact Georgia got attention.

We had a dance and then Hayley spotted Andy again. Georgia and I got fed up of waiting for her to see him again so we wandered off to where it was a bit more lively. I kept getting my arse felt and blokes putting their hands on my waist but, other than that, it was better than being with misery guts Hayley!

When Georgia and I went to sit down again, Hayley was already there, very obviously interrupting Sarah and Maz from their snogging! Georgia and I just talked and had a giggle over some bloke’s dancing and pulling techniques and Hayley must have noticed. The next thing I knew, Hayley was dragging me off to the toilets telling me she was going to be sick again. There were more coughing noises, even though all she’d been drinking was water!

Later on, Sarah and I worked out that Hayley had probably dragged me away from Georgia (mid-conversation, may I add) cos she won’t want me and Georgia getting too friendly, just in case she gets left out and therefore less attention!

When we left and booked a taxi, Georgia and I saw Andy rolling round on the grass with some lad in a fight and then getting restrained by a policeman! It was really funny!

Then Hayley announced that it’s not fair cos she’s got no-one to “care” for her! I pointed out that most people haven’t right now and she turned round and said that I’ve got Jake and Sarah’s got Maz and that it isn’t fair. Why shouldn’t we have them? She was trying to make us feel guilty! Bitch!

I asked her why shouldn’t we have anyone and she promptly went off to be “sick” in the bushes. I turned round and I could see her looking at us. As soon as she saw me, she bent over and made throwing up noises. She did the same again when she saw me turn round a few minutes later.

All she needs to care for her is a hospital full of qualified people who know how to take care of headcases properly! She really does need help and I’m not the only one who thinks that. I know for a fact that Jake, Gethin and Sarah (at least) agree with me. Cat Elliot thinks she needs professional help too! Maz has only seen her a couple of times and Sarah said he reckons there’s something wrong with Hayley’s mind!

But, overall (minus Hayley!) it was a really good night and I really enjoyed myself!

Bye!

Today’s e-mails! →

Jake cruise email 10Reply to Jake email 10

One grotty chippy – 26th August 2000

Saturday 26th There was thunder and lightning during the night so I made Sarah come and sleep on the camp bed in my room cos I was scared! I don’t know why but it’s much less scary when I’m not on my own! I couldn’t actually see the lightning cos it was behind next door’s house. The sky just lit up a bit.

Went into town and then the Trafford Centre in search of black shoes for work tomorrow. I got some Pods in the end. I’m not actually that nervous about starting work….. yet!

I sent Jake a message apologising for the daft e-mail I sent him but he texted me back saying, “DON’T APOLOGISE – IT WAS REALLY FUNNY AND MADE ME SMILE! I COULD STEAL A LIFEBOAT AND COME HOME BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO GET HOME! CAN’T WAIT TO SEE U! I’M MISSIN U AND I LOVE YOU TOO!”

I actually don’t seem to be missing him as much as I did when he went round Europe. I suppose it could be cos I know it’s not for as long this time, plus I saw him loads before he went and we were starting to fall out a but I think it’s mostly cos I’ve had other stuff to take my mind off him e.g. starting at The Green Dragon, Grandma L being ill and coursework. I still want him back though!

I went with Mum and Dad to pick Abby and Connor up from Holyhead tonight cos they’ve been to Dublin for the day. We were there for sooo long and there’s nothing of interest in Holyhead. I wasn’t even nice and there was one grotty chippy open.

We got back really late and I’ve just read this e-mail from Jake. →

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I sent this one back to him. →

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Bye!

Drank half my peach vodka and played the Game of Life – 25th August 2000

Friday 25th I went round to Sarah’s today so we could give each other some help with the Biology coursework. We didn’t do much in the end cos Gethin phoned Sarah and Jake phoned me. I’d had lots of Coke so I’d probably overdosed on caffeine which is why I kept talking total rubbish at him! I don’t think anything too interesting was said.

Sarah and I went to The Dog on our own tonight cos Hayley was out and Gethin was working and we couldn’t be bothered ringing round everyone else. We called in The Green Dragon on the way to say hi to Gethin. He introduced me to a girl called Vicky. She seemed nice enough so I’m not as worried about starting work myself on Sunday.

We got to The Dog and saw Rach H (a bitch from the year above us) stood outside so we walked straight back to my house again, bought a bottle of wine from The Cosy Jack pub, drank it, drank half my peach vodka and played the Game of Life. It was a night in but it was actually quite fun!

I got the e-mail at the top of this page from Jake tonight. →

Jake cruise email 5

When I read it, I sent this drunken one back! →

Reply to Jake email 5

I’m gonna be embarrassed probably!

Bye!

“Look at the arse on that!” – 19th August 2000

Saturday 19th Rhian, Abby and I all went into Wick today. There were some youngish lads walking behind us at one point and then they said, “Look at the arse on that!” and then were kicking stuff at me and trying to make me turn round so they could see what I looked like. I didn’t react.

We met up with Laura and Tamara again who was still babysitting the same baby. Apparently he was the 1st Millennium baby in Wick or something and he’s really cute!

The lads round here tend to drive round in circles and there were 3 cars that kept driving past us. One was the red Ford Fiesta which we always saw last year but it only had Greg Thompson in it (who’s actually improved since I last saw him). Another was a black VW containing Stephen something and 2 others. The other one was a blue Nova which had Mark Ferguson in the back but it wasn’t much good cos I couldn’t see him cos of the tinted windows!

I also saw my ex, Duncan Morgan, for the 1st time since last summer. He was just walking along and didn’t speak to us.

Jake phoned me this evening. He was on the cruise ship and was just setting off from Southampton. He told me that it was about 50/50 with old and young people. I was hoping it was going to be all old people cos that way he’d be less likely to get up to stuff! Not that he will anyway but I can’t help being paranoid!

He told me that he’s got my necklace around his wrist so he can think about me even more and not lose it. It was a bit upsetting talking to him cos I won’t be able to again until at least Tuesday cos he has no signal on his phone out at sea. Plus he told me Hugo was already eyeing up girls and I assume he’ll have to hang round with him cos he doesn’t know anyone else.

Ohh, I’m going to miss him sooooo much! I am doing already. I just feel so far away from him.

It was Laura’s dad’s birthday today so they had a party at their house tonight and we were invited. I saw Kate and Amelia again which was nice cos we were good friends with them last year. Duncan eventually said hi to me and let me take a photo of him! Tamara got very pissed and cried cos she didn’t want me, Abby and Kate to go back to England again! Laura was on the phone to Mark Ferguson nearly all night apologising about something and Rhian spewed everywhere in the house and on Amelia! Abby and I were sober compared to that lot!

Due to Rhian’s “illness” we had to come home early but it was still quite good.

Bye!

I’m going to miss him sooo much….. again! – 17th & 18th August 2000

Thursday 17th I got my module A-level results today. In Biology, I got a C in Processes of Life and an E in Physiology (I’ll be resitting that one!) but I got and A and a B in Geography.

Jake got a C in General Studies, a D in Geography and Es in Design Technology and Physics. He only got 12 points but needed 14 for Huddersfield. Mr H rang up and they still accepted him.

After I’d been to the dentist and hairdresser, Jake came round to say goodbye before his cruise tomorrow. We took Mollie for a walk and then lay on my bed and talked. 3 happened.

He took some photos that I had of me with him which I don’t like but he insisted, along with my heart necklace thing. We said goodbye which was really sad and then his taxi came. He waved as he was being driven away cos he saw me stood at the spare room window. I’m going to miss him sooo much….. again!

Bye!

Friday 18th I can’t actually see what I’m doing all that well cos Rhian’s just turned the light right down! I’m in Wick now, by the way. We set off at about 6:30am and got here at about 5:30pm. I slept for quite a while in the car so it seemed to go quite quickly.

I had a nice message off Jake on my way up. It said, “: ) OK! I’LL TAKE YOUR NECKLACE! I REALLY DON’T MIND YOU SAYING THAT YOU LOVE ME ALL THE TIME! : ) I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH TOO – THAT’S WHY I’M GONNA MISS YOU SO MUCH BUT I CAN’T HELP FEELING HAPPY – EVEN NOW COS YOU’RE ON MY MIND PERMANENTLY AND WHENEVER I GET UPSET COS I’M MISSING YOU I JUST THINK OF YOU GIGGLING : ) THAT MAKES ME SMILE AND CHEERS ME UP A BIT! 2 WEEKS SEEMS SUCH A LONG TIME – AND IT IS! BUT I THINK THAT WE ARE VERY CLOSE IN EACH OTHER’S HEARTS SO DESPITE HOW FAR APART WE ARE YOU’RE WITH ME ALL THE TIME! REALLY REALLY REALLY GOING TO MISS YOU! : ( I LOVE YOU! : ) xxx JAKE xxx”.

When we arrived in Wick, we had some food, went round to call for Rhian’s mate, Laura Morgan, and then went round to someone’s house where their mate, Tamara Fagan, was babysitting. It was a bit boring so we came home again.

Bye!

Jake locked himself in the bathroom with the phone! – 14th August 2000

Monday 14th Gethin and I went round to Jake’s today and it turned out to be a horrible day cos Jake and I fell out.

It started when we all went for a walk and then Jake mentioned that he’s going to the Trafford Centre with Hugo tomorrow night. I was a bit pissed off about that cos he’s going to be with Hugo for 2 whole weeks on that cruise plus he’d told me he didn’t really want to see Hugo cos he’d rather spend time with me so he was going to cancel it last week. He did say I could go but I got the impression he only asked to keep the peace rather than cos he actually wanted me to go. Because I was so pissed off, I went all stubborn and said I didn’t really want to go.

Fine, until he asked Gethin. I think it was to try and get at me and it worked! After that, I went all quiet and Jake noticed but I denied sulking! But when we got back to his house he wandered off and left Gethin and me in the living room watching MTV and stuff. (I noticed some really nice family photos while I was in there.)

Then the phone rang. It was Hugo so it worried me greatly when Jake locked himself in the bathroom with the phone!

When Robbie and Clara and her Swedish friend Sandra came home, Gethin decided to cook so I decided to leave and go for a McDonald’s! Gethin had noticed the tension and persuaded Jake to go with me. It was really awkward at first but we both ended up apologising for being moody.

Then when I got home we started texting each other. I sent the 1st one, just apologising and he said, “I’M SORRY TOO! I UNDERSTAND GIRLS HAVE THEIR MOODS! JUST I DIDN’T KNOW IF YOU WERE IN A MOOD WITH ME! WHAT MAKES IT WORSE IS THAT GETHIN IS ALWAYS HAPPY AND TRIES TO CHEER US UP! IT WAS HORRIBLE COS I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY COS I DIDN’T KNOW HOW YOU WOULD REACT! I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH AND DON’T WANT TO LEAVE YOU FOR 2 WEEKS – ESPECIALLY IF WE’V E FALLEN OUT – IT WOULD RUIN MY HOLIDAY COS I WOULD FEEL SO GUILTY (NOT THAT I WON’T ANYWAY)! I WANT TO TRY AND ENJOY THESE LAST FEW DAYS! X”.

Everything was fine until I got the next message saying, “WELL ACTUALLY – YOU HAVE BEEN HITTING ME QUITE A LOT RECENTLY – I THOUGH IT WAS BY ACCIDENT! : ) LOOK – YOU’RE NOT BAD AT ALL! AND I LOVE YOU TO BITS – YOU KNOW THAT! EVERYONE’S ALLOWED TO HAVE THEIR MOODS – SO WE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE THEM AT THE SAME TIME! ALTHOUGH IT DOES REALLY UPSET ME WHEN YOU’RE LIKE THAT! : ( THAT’S WHY I LEFT THE ROOM! : ( YOU’VE GOT TO BE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW WHO CAN BE SOOO HAPPY AND SMILEY ONE MINUTE AND THEN SO MOODY THE NEXT! DON’T TAKE THAT AS AN INSULT. I’M ONLY SAYING WHAT I THINK! I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, NO MATTER WHAT!… BUT I DO LIKE ‘HAPPY TESSA’ MUCH MORE! LOTS OF LOVE!!! xJx”.

The problem was that I did take that as an insult and I told him that. I explained that I’d gone all moody cos he’d walked off and he said, “I’M SORRY FOR DOING THAT! BUT WHEN YOU WON’T HOLD MY HAND OR TOUCH ME… THAT REALLY RIPS YOU UP INSIDE!”

Then I got, “LOOK – I’M SOOO SORRY I SAID THOSE THINGS – PEOPLE TELL ME I SPEAK MY MIND AND IT USUALLY MAKES MATTERS WORSE! I WANT TO SEE YOU TMW COS OTHERWISE I’LL REALLY REGRET IT! DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT THE ONLY REASON IT UPSETS ME SO MUCH IS COS I CARE ABOUT YOU SO MUCH! YOU’RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN MAKE ME CRY! xJx”. I felt really guilty then!

The next message he sent said, “I WOULDN’T SAY THIS WORRIES ME COS WE ALWAYS MAKE UP THE NEXT DAY – USUALLY! I’VE STOPPED CRYING NOW! I FEEL GUILTY TOO. I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE TO ME COS I DON’T SHOW MY EMOTIONS USUALLY! MY BRO UPSET ME ONCE COS I DIDN’T CRY WHEN MY MUM DIED – OR AT THE FUNERAL – HE SAID I DIDN’T CARE – BUT I DID… AND I STILL DO. MAYBE THAT’S WHY I GET UPSET OVER THINGS LIKE THIS – LIFE’S TOO SHORT TO ARGUE AND FALL OUT! I LOVE YOU! xxx”.

That nearly had me in tears when he sent that. I’m just glad we sorted it out though cos, he’s right, life’s too short!

Gethin and I had interviews with a bloke called Mark at The Green Dragon this morning. He said he’d ring and let me know about a job.

Bye!