Monday 4th It was the 1st day of lectures again after a break but it wasn’t too bad.
We all went out to Camel tonight. There were loads of people I knew there. I spoke to Ben quite a bit and Jonas seemed to get a bit jealous at one point cos he thought I was staring at Ben. I wasn’t. Jonas also said that lads kept looking at me. They weren’t. I don’t mind if he gets a bit jealous cos it’s nice to know in a way that he doesn’t want anyone else to have me.
Jonas said he loves me and he likes my new jeans. For some reason he pointed out to me that he hates stilettos. If it was cos he was worried I might wear some then there’s no need cos I don’t really like them either. Jonas also told me I’m gorgeous and stuff.
The night went downhill fairly rapidly after Jen went in a mood. I was perfectly happy and then she got all upset (bringing the mood down) cos Kevin was ignoring her. What really put me in a bad mood was when she complained about me and Jonas. We weren’t doing anything. I think it was just cos we were together and she was feeling a bit of a gooseberry.
Jen left so I was in Camel with Jonas and his mates who were all being a bit knobheadish. Sid (wearing a suit) shook my hand and asked how I was. He then said “sorry” and laughed saying it didn’t matter when I asked why he was apologising. He then pretended to snog Jonas (putting his hand over Jonas’s mouth) and then he did it to me. Pierced Sam with pink hair then did it to me too, spilling my drink all over me in the process. I really wasn’t in the mood for people pissing about and being covered in Tia Maria and Coke so I found myself very close to tears.
Jonas noticed and was being really nice and he said he didn’t really like Camel and didn’t mind leaving. That made me feel guilty cos he’s gone every week and spent money in there even though he’s not that keen, just because of me. I suppose that’s nice in a way though.
Jonas then thought I was in a mood with him because I told him to go and dance. I only said it because all his mates were and I didn’t want him to miss out cos of me. Jake used to not dance so I stayed with him but resented it cos my mates were off having fun. I didn’t want Jonas feeling the same as I did.
Jonas stayed with me and told me his mates think I don’t like them. Great. Paul came up to me and said I was too quiet while Jonas wasn’t listening. That, along with Sid giving me an evil look when I left, really pissed me off too.
I ended up telling Archie about Jen and Kevin last week but I don’t really think he took it in cos he was pretty drunk.
That Louise girl that “took advantage” of Jonas once but only snogged him and fancied him for ages was there. She kept looking at him and bashed into me on her way past, short-arse cow!
Outside, I sat on some steps with Jonas and apologised for being miserable. He said he doesn’t care what his mates think cos they’re not his REAL mates (like the ones from Scotland). He said I have to acknowledge them more cos they’re sensitive and get offended easily. I’m just very worried his mates don’t like me but he can’t see it and sides with them. What is it I do wrong?! I can’t help being a bit shy.
I got upset when I got back so I ate lots.