The tap was dripping, like how Oscar always left it – 22nd December 2002

Sunday 22nd  I went Christmas shopping with my mates at the Trafford Centre on Monday evening. I bought some boots, jeans and a top. Everyone was dreading the funeral the next day because we knew it was going to be really upsetting.

We all met at Floyd’s house at 10am on Tuesday morning and made our way over the road to the church. I stayed with Lizzie because we were the only girls and we knew we were going to cry. I’m very glad she was there too. We all sat at the back of the church. When we opened our hymn books there were photos of Oscar inside. That set most people off, including me.

I’d just managed to control myself when the coffin came in. It was lucky it didn’t arrive earlier because the organ was playing You’ll Never Walk Alone and Oscar was an Everton fan. Instead, Oscar came in to Hotel California. His dad told everyone what had happened and how Oscar had stopped treatment because he saw how much it was hurting his family. It was really sad. His little brother then spoke and said how, on the day Oscar died, he went into the bathroom and the tap was dripping, like how Oscar always left it.

Apparently Oscar said he didn’t want any tears but there was no way anyone could help it. They played Always by Bon Jovi as he left the church which is going to make me think of him whenever I hear it now.

We all filed round the back of the church to watch the burial and then went back to Floyd’s. There had been so many people there, including some teachers. Everyone felt totally drained afterwards and every time someone asked if I was ok, I got upset again.

I went back to Huddersfield and just wanted to curl up on the sofa and watch TV but Jen and Archie saw I was upset and wouldn’t leave me so I was forced to go out. Ben was being really nice to me, saying how he’s had to go to loads of funerals. He put his arm round me too. He told me that his housemate John thinks I’m cool.

I went to uni on Wednesday. Jen had a placement interview for Kirklees Council and got the job. I stayed at Jonas’s on Thursday night but when I got back to the house I found that Archie had gone to uni and locked me out I was back early too because he’s asked me to be so I could sign for his DVDs.

Archie’s started to get pissed off with Jen for being loud and jumping all over him all the time. We had a course night out on Friday but not many people made it. It was ok though. Archie and Kenny kept saying I was cute and stuff. Jonas came over afterwards and stayed at mine. I feel really good with him again now but unfortunately we had to part for the Christmas holidays.

I was Floyd’s house party tonight. There were loads of people I didn’t know there. Lizzie and I made a cocktail containing gravy granules, vinegar, sugar and paprika and many other substances, and managed to get about 10 people to drink it! Cat was one of them and got very pissed off with us. Oops! This 23 year old lad from The Green Dragon helped is.


Not sure what I think of that! – 29th & 30th April 2000

Saturday 29th The doctor said it’s a bladder infection. He’s put me on some antibiotics. I don’t think it’s anything too serious.

Fight Night at the George H. Carnell Sports Centre in Urmston was top!! Debbie F (who is a fellow kickboxer) drove me, Evie and Abby there. Our instructor, Dave, was a judge and our other instructor, Rob, won his fight. I want to go to another one!

Abby was a bit gutted cos the lad she fancies at the moment, Chris T, was following Rob round all night. We think he’s in love with him!!


Sunday 30th I brought up the subject of Hugo Pratt phoning us on Friday and asked if he’d said anything to Jake. The text messages went on for a while, not really saying much, and then at exactly 2:00am, I received one saying, “OK!! WELL I’D BETTER SAY NIGHT NIGHT THEN! YOU KNOW I WOULD SLEEP WITH YOU! JUST WHEN THE RIGHT TIME COMES – NOT IN THE BACK OF A CAR!! LOVE YOU! xJx : )”.

Not sure what I think of that! It was so unexpected. I have to say I was quite pleased about it though!


That really cheered me up!


Sad cow!! – 27th March 2000

Monday 27th Went to the Trafford Centre tonight with Mum, Abby and Sarah in search of a pair of jeans and a jacket for the summer. I only got jeans though from Gap.

Sarah and I went in French Connection and as soon as we walked in she told me to sniff. I did and I could smell Jake so we were smelling all the fragrances to see which one it was. It was a FCUK once but I don’t know which. I’ve sprayed it on my wrists and can’t stop sniffing it now. I’m not sure that’s what he wears but it smells like it. Mmm!

Hayley embarrassed me in front of Jake after college by telling him that every time we were talking about Andy on Saturday, I kept saying Canada instead of Germany. What really annoyed me though was when I mentioned Sarah wanting to come to Valkenburg with Swing Band if Emma’s parents won’t let her go (because of her tongue piercing), and Hayley started going on about how she doesn’t want Sarah to go because we’ll all come back and go on about it in front of her like we always do cos she can’t go.

Bollocks! That is so selfish! If she was going and Sarah wasn’t, she wouldn’t think twice about “going on about it”. Mind you, Hayley wouldn’t come in the first place cos I don’t think she ever leaves the Warrington area without her WHOLE family. Sad cow!!

Jake said it’s pretty definite he’ll join us on the Swing Band trip. Yeah!!


I don’t understand that girl! – 27th & 28th September 1999

Monday 27th I think Hayley’s speaking to me again. I didn’t see her much today but this evening I switched my phone on and I had a text message from her saying: “HI JUST SAYING HI. R U OK?” [All texts were in capital letters in 1999, apparently.] I thought she might have just sent it to the wrong number so I sent her one back saying: “HI ERM… DID U MEAN TO SEND ME A MESSAGE B4?? FROM TESSA”. Later on I got another from her saying: “YEP I MEANT 2!” I sent her another one back saying I wasn’t sure and that I was okay or something.

I don’t understand that girl! I actually think it’s going to be more hassle if she is speaking to me because it means I have to start watching what I say again, whereas it didn’t matter before because she was already not speaking to me!

Maybe I could try my phasing out process now, although I’m not entirely sure how to go about it. I just want to be able to do things with other friends without her expecting to be invited. Maybe that’s asking too much.

Freda brought the photos in. I’ve had loads of people asking me about the one of me and Aled, about what was going on. I’m not sure how he reacted when he saw it because I wasn’t looking but when I mentioned it on the way home from school when I was talking about Freda’s threat to scan it, he went very quiet. I’m not sure what to make of that reaction.

Zoe’s going out with the lad from LA Bowl. His name’s Jav and he was round at her house yesterday. She wants me to go bowling on Wednesday now so she can meet up with him. I don’t know if I will go.


P.S. Dougie said hi to Rhian on my mobile at lunch then went all embarrassed. He kept asking Gethin and I what she’d said to us too.

Tuesday 28th Hayley’s definitely speaking to me again. It is a lot easier in school now and I was getting sick of people constantly asking what was going on. There’s much less of an awkward atmosphere but I still can’t completely forgive the stupid girl.

Oscar let me in on something today. I was sat near him at lunch and there weren’t many other people around. He said, “Tess…” like he was about to say something but shut up as soon as Sarah came over. I managed to get rid of her and he told me that he was thinking of getting a necklaces that have half a heart on for him and Lizzie, like Heidi and Davis’s.  He said he didn’t have any money right now but he’s getting paid on Thursday so he might get them then. I’m not sure what Lizzie’d think if but I think it’s really sweet of him. I think he really likes Lizzie too. He’s so lovely!

Aled stormed into college this morning and was going on about having loads of Geography to do and only 15 mins to do it in. Then he decided it was my fault because last night on the way home I told him I’d do it 2nd period today but we had Geography 1st. Mr B did actually say we had until 3:20pm to hand it in but Aled didn’t believe me and was glaring at me all through Geography until Mr B proved me right. Aled was only doing it jokingly though.

I found out from a sheet on a wall with the College 2 General Studies groups on that Trotter’s full name is Darren Robert Lawton. Not bad! I saw him while I was going to Swing Band. He glanced over his shoulder as I turned towards C Block. I also found out he lives nearer Warrington.


It’s brown and full of old people – 31st July 1999

Saturday 31st Okay, another new diary. Although I’ve not got much to write.



I’ve not seen my friend Hayley Pearson for about 2 weeks because of the Swing Band tour in Belgium and then sleepovers and stuff so I thought it was about time I arranged to meet up with her somewhere before she got too paranoid and thought I was neglecting her. I ended up being dropped off at her house this evening so we could just wander round her village or something.

Milla Green was also at Hayley’s house. She’s recently come back from Australia… again. You see, she used to live elsewhere in England until her grandad won the National Lottery jackpot and then she moved and came to our school for a bit until they decided to move to Australia. They stayed over there for a while but then moved to Cornwall. They were there for a few months but moved back to Australia again. Now she’s come back and is moving to the other side of Warrington fairly soon.

I didn’t get this information out of Milla, mind you, because she doesn’t speak. Well, not much anyway. She’ll give the odd one syllable answer to a question or, if she’s in a really chatty mood, you might get a whole sentence out of her! I shouldn’t be skitting her really, she’s just so painfully shy.

Anyway, I got to Hayley’s and we decided to go from her house and have a wander round to see if anyone was about. Nobody was. This meant we ended up back at the Sports Club. It has got to be one of the most boring places on Earth. It’s brown and full of old people but Hayley almost lives there.

After about half an hour of pure boredom, I managed to drag the other two out for another walk. This time we went down Aire Road, I think it is, in search of this lad who’s either called Dean or Aiden (he’s got a brother who’s either called Dean or Aiden as well, you see) who is particularly nice looking. Hayley pointed out the house which is sort of pebble-dashed and on first sight looks like a bungalow.

I then tried to get her to show me where another nice lad called Ste Rollinson (or Rolly as he’s more commonly known – very original!) lives but it’s on another estate so Hayley wouldn’t go round there because she thinks it’s rough so she was too scared. She’s so scared of anything that’s remotely risky or out of her village, by the way.

Yet again we ended up back at that bloody Sports Club. I got my mum to come and pick me up in the end because I knew I’d have more fun here at home, on my own may I just add.

Hayley’s not very pleased with me at the moment. She hasn’t actually said anything but I can tell. I think it’s because I’ve been to all these get-togethers with more lively and slightly less agoraphobic friends. I did ask her if she wanted to come but, of course, she said no because what if she didn’t get enough sleep or someone she didn’t get on with was there or if she couldn’t get a lift or anything else daft like that which most other people don’t tend to bother about when they’re partying and actually having that thing called fun???!!

Sorry, I shouldn’t be saying things like that about a so-called friend. I could continue though but I won’t because once I really get started on how much Hayley can annoy people, there’ll be no stopping me!

Emma Thornley, another one of my mates (Hayley really doesn’t like her but I think it’s just jealousy for various reasons), hasn’t phoned today. I think she is probably going back out with this lad called Gavin Bilson from Appleton. I thought she might have phoned to let me know how their date went last night but she hasn’t.

It’s looking like Keira Osborne is also now going out with Maz P too so my social life has probably just died again seeing as it was Keira and Emma who I’ve seen most of over the last couple of weeks. Never mind, hey?!


Using her as a substitute for Emma – 30th April 1999

Friday 30th I phoned Adam this evening. I’d been talking to him online and he was in tonight so he said it was okay. We didn’t say much interesting as usual and I was doing most of the talking. I was saying about the prom and he was telling me how his school were having a leavers’ service at church coz the R.E. teacher’s a vicar or summit like that.

I really like him at the moment, it’s just annoying that he lives too far away. Although I might not like him if I ever did see him!

It was weird when Hayley and I first went to the phone box coz as soon as we got to it, it started ringing. I wanted to use it so we hung up. Then it started ringing again so I hung up again and tried to phone Adam but it wasn’t taking my money. I ended up phoning from the Sports Club.

The only link between the 2 times it rang was a man in a red car. As we were walking past the pub, it was coming up the road then turned down another road, stopped and then we lost sight of it. That was before. After the 1st time we hung up, the same car came round past the phone box we were in (by the bank and beauty parlour) and drove slowly past before going back up the main road out of view. Then it rang for a 2nd time.

When I got home tonight, I told Abby about it and she told me the same had happened to her and he mates at the phone opposite the supermarket at about the same time (8:30pm approx.), only they answered it.

She told me it was some bloke called Johnny who was at the petrol station and he was trying to get hold of someone. She said the phone kept ringing every time they hung up and then some other man turned up and he answered it twice and the stood about for ages as if he was looking for someone before disappearing round the back of the supermarket.

She told me that a big police van had also turned up and 2 policemen were running about. I saw the van go by as I was walking with Hayley to the phone box. I have to agree with Abby that it was all very dodgy.

I had it out with Hayley in the Sports Club about her over-reacting to everything and how unfair she was being on me expecting me not to talk to Emma and stuff. I said it all while she sat there sobbing. I felt better after saying it, even though it did upset her coz I got it all off my chest I think.

She did accuse me of using her as a substitute for Emma but I told her how unfair that was and how she was being really unreasonable and insecure. I think I said it all and I think she listened for once coz after I was leaving she ran after me and said she didn’t mean what she said. Maybe it’s finally sunk in, or some of it at least!

I was with Ralph, Emma and Ferny after school coz orchestra finished early and Ferny’d lost his bike lock key or summit so they had to saw it off. So we went back into the Tech room with them and there was this giant gateau which a caretaker had made and it was being tucked into by Mr P [the teacher who had ended orchestra early]. We then started heading home.

I still really like Ferny. Hayley told me she fancies Freddie Bevan now which is fine by me!

Emma’s been nice to me as well this week and she keeps telling me about arguments she’s had with Davis Nolan and stuff and how he’s fallen out with her because he was calling Rachael immature and then denying it. She also keeps telling me what she’s doing at weekend. I don’t get it!