I was the table – 11th March 2001

Sunday 11th
3 weeks + 4 days to go!

I really couldn’t sleep last night. It was horrible! I was sort of half asleep and started thinking really surreal things. I kept waking myself up but every time I tried to sleep it happened again. It was weird! At one point, I felt like I was sat up and I was the table and other people were sat around me. Like I said, weird!

I had something similar ages ago when I felt like I was a triangle or something. That time I did have a temperature though. Maybe I’m not well now. I ended up sleeping in Mum’s bed cos I felt safer knowing someone was there. I seemed to get off to sleep fine then. This morning, I woke up feeling a bit dizzy and light-headed and I still feel a bit weird now.

Mum reckons I’ve got a bug that’s going round. She says she thinks she’s got it and some of the children and teachers at her school have it too. She says it’s one that lingers and some people have had it for about 3 weeks. She says people have been really weepy and tired but can’t sleep properly and have been stiff when they wake up. That’d make sense cos I got upset quite a bit last week, more than I normally would, and I’ve had a stiff neck when I wake up for all this week which fades as the day goes on. I’ve been really tired too but not sleeping well and I’ve got patchy bits on my tongue and had an ulcer, I think. They’re usually signs I’m coming down with something. Oh well, I hope I’m okay soon cos I don’t like whatever it is. It’s weird!

My driving lesson wasn’t too brilliant today. I was a bit wary of doing it cos I don’t feel 100% today at all but you can’t cancel this late without paying anyway. He took me around Warrington and it was all roundabouts, traffic lights and one-way systems. I kept getting confused and making silly little mistakes like forgetting the handbrake was on and stuff.

Jake phoned at about 5:30pm today which was a nice surprise cos I wasn’t expecting to hear from him until later on. He’s told me he isn’t coming home early after all. I wish he was so I am a bit disappointed. As long as he doesn’t end up staying much longer though, I don’t really mind too much!

We decided that we want to go Youth Hostelling around Scotland at some point in the summer cos we always joked about running away to Scotland together so we could be alone! I don’t know if it’ll happen cos I don’t know how much more either of us will have by then. I hope we can go though.

He told me about his Beetle and how shiny and new it apparently looks now it’s been restored. He said he really wants to be able to drive it again but that there’s not much chance of that now! He said it’s going to be famous cos some photos of it are going in a VW magazine article about the bloke who’s restoring it. Cool!

Even though Jake’s not coming home early now, he still keeps saying how much he wants to come home. I do believe him. He says he’s sort of got to stay for the full 3 months (now he’s not got the excuse of the snow melting to come home) cos he doesn’t want to seem ungrateful seeing as it’s all be paid for. I think I understand.

Uhh, I’m scared of trying to sleep again tonight. I don’t want any nasty dreamy things again cos I hate them! I hope my dreamcatcher works!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

11-03-01 Jake email11-03-01 Tess email

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It’s all VERY dodgy!! – 22nd February 2001

Thursday 22nd
6 weeks to go!

Jake’s half way through his Canada trip now. I really want him to come home though because I’m REALLY REALLY missing him!!! 😦

I really should have been revising for my Biology exams next week today but instead I went with Mum to pick the car up from Warrington where it was being serviced. We had to go on the bus and there were a load of scally lads that used to be in my year on it. They didn’t do or say anything to me but they were sat behind us and made me feel really uncomfortable!

Not surprisingly, the car wasn’t ready when we got there so Mum and I went for a look around Matalan for half an hour. We went back to the car place and they finally said it was ready! We then went for a look round Ikea but not for long cos it was really busy. Mum then made me go in this new bathroom place so she could see if they had any good ideas that we could use in our bathroom. That didn’t take very long cos it was smaller than we thought.

On the way home, we went to have a look round the show homes that have been built on the old mental hospital site. One of them was really nice but the others had all the rooms in weird places e.g. the master bedroom opposite the living room.

I did do a bit of revision when I got home and then Jake phoned at about 7:15pm. He couldn’t stay on for very long though cos he started his assessment today and only had half an hour for lunch.

My sister phoned up tonight from France in floods of tears because of Mr L, a history teacher. Mum said she wasn’t making much sense but basically Jacqueline Robson and Katya W (out of my sister’s year) had been talking in the toilets about Mr L having flings with college students and Mrs L overheard them and told all the teachers that they were trouble making.

Mr L then went off his head at all the college girls and said they can’t go skiing tomorrow, including Abby which is why she was so upset cos she wasn’t really involved. It’ll probably get sorted out though.

The thing is that it’s totally true about Mr L. He’s slept with a girl called Donna Sharpe in College 1 and has been trying to get my mate Cat to do the same but she won’t. She’s snogged him and I think their hands have wandered though! I found it a bit hard to believe at first but Cat’s not the type to lie, plus I’ve seen the emails he’s sent her and he’s phoned her too. Some of my other friends have heard a voicemail message he left on Donna’s phone too. It’s all VERY dodgy!!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

22-02-01 Jake email22-02-01 Tess email

She sounded like a right cocky little slapper!  – 10th February 2001

Saturday 10th
7 weeks + 5 days to go!

I went to an open day at the Uni of Central Lancashire today. It was really, really disorganised! Nobody who was doing environmental stuff or geography had been sent a letter to say what was going on.

We were taken on a tour firth by a lad from Transylvania. He couldn’t speak much English and kept getting lost. I felt really sorry for him actually cos it was the 1st time he’d done a tour.

Everyone Mum and I spoke to seemed to be doing Forensic Science except one girl from Barnsley. Eventually we were told where we had to go and we were introduced to other people doing Geography and stuff who were a bit lost too.

One person was a lad called Christopher who was with his mum too so my mum and his started chatting. He was nice and smiley and kept looking at me. I could have fancied him, had I been single! He was from down south somewhere and wants to go to uni in Manchester. He reminded me a bit of Niall Cafferty in Jake’s year – I think it was his eyes.

There was only me there who was wanting to do Environmental Science! This bloke showed Mum and me round the department and told us about the course. I have to say, the field trips sound better than Huddersfield cos they go abroad (including Vancouver!) but I still want to go to Hudds cos overall it seems much better.

Mum and I had a quick look round Preston and she bought me some jeans from New Look. We were home by about 4:30pm so I got to speak to Jake at about 6:30. It was quite a bad line and I couldn’t hear him all that well actually. I told him about today but he didn’t have much to tell me.

His mate Ali is going over to visit him soon. That doesn’t seem fair! 😦 Jake said some other lad’s girlfriend is going over to visit and he’s really jealous! I wish I could go! His roommate even said that if I did visit, he’d sleep in someone else’s room so we could have it to ourselves. That’s really nice!

Some girl walked past the phone and shouted, “Hi Jacob’s girlfriend!” I don’t know why but that really pissed me off! I think he said it was that one called Abbie. It was just the way she said it, I think… she sounded like a right cocky little slapper! I think it’s the way she called him “Jacob” too (in that annoying whiney voice!) that annoyed me – she sounded familiar somehow.

I think it’s cos the only people I hear call him Jacob are his family and Hugo. I never call him anything to his face cos I don’t know what to call him. She did and that doesn’t seem right. I’ve always known him as Jake and he always writes “J” on everything but then other people call him Jacob. I’m just going to have to stick with “Oi!” until I’m told otherwise!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

10-02-01 Jake email10-02-01 Tess email

They think they could be pregnant! – 23rd January 2001

Tuesday 23rd
10 weeks + 2 days to go!

I had a geography module exam this morning. I only started revising last night so I’m not entirely sure how well it went!

Karen and Rory are officially a couple too now! This College 2 girl and College 1 lad thing’s really catching on! He asked her out via text message last night. It’s quite sweet actually but all these people getting together doesn’t half rub in the fact that I’m alone for ages and have to stay that way!

I suppose I should be grateful that I’ve got a nice, fit boyfriend, even if he is in Canada (which isn’t much use to me right now!) cos some people haven’t got anyone! Seeing Lizzie and Declan all over each other all the time certainly doesn’t help though cos I’m missing being like that with someone. 😦

Mind you, I’m not the only one feeling a bit sorry for myself at the moment. Sarah’s still miserable about Maz and not getting any emails from him when she checks every 5 minutes.

Cat’s also miserable about Mr L [one of our teachers] too but then so’s Donna Sharpe. Cat and Donna actually spoke to each other today about him and discovered the truth. He’s been stringing them both along. It turns out that the reason why Donna spread a rumour about Cat sleeping with Mr L is because she heard that he’d been giving her lifts home so she put 2 + 2 together and came up with that cos that’s exactly what he’d been doing to her.

Donna and Cat now both know that Mr L’s been contacting the other one and if one wouldn’t go round to his house, he’d ask the other. It turns out that the day Cat said no, he asked Donna and she did go round and she did sleep with him.

They’re now both angry with him rather than each other and they’re now plotting revenge! I mean, they could just get him sacked but before they do anything that drastic, they intend to play a few games with him.

There’ve been 2 ideas so far:

  1. Both go to him separately and tell him that they think they could be pregnant! However, that wouldn’t have worked because Cat’s never slept with him.
  2. Act like they’re best mates around him so that he’ll be left wondering whether they know about each other! I think they’ll do that one!

I still can’t believe all this! You hear about it happening to other people but it’s weird when it’s in your school, involving one of your friends!

Both Cat and I are being haunted by skiing! We REALLY want to go but can’t! Everything at the moment seems to revolve around skiing! Mainly it’s cos of the school trip at half term which everyone seems to be going on. Then, everybody is not only talking about it but got all their equipment sent to school today. And:

  • My sister’s using something about the heights of ski resorts for her maths coursework.
  • The PG Tips advert has got one of the chimps coming back from a skiing holiday on it.
  • Ski competitions are on the TV all the time.
  • There are loads of adverts in the paper about it.

Worst of all is Jake who’s getting to ski for 3 months! I know I shouldn’t be jealous of my own boyfriend but I can’t help it!

One of the things Jake and I planned to do together in the future was to go skiing but if I went with him he’d just try and tell me what I should/shouldn’t be doing cos he’ll be dead good (well, I think he is anyway) but I really want to go skiing! It’s not fair!

I pretty much told him all that on the phone tonight (he probably thinks I’m pathetic now!) cos all I wanted was reassurance that he won’t be like that and I will be able to ski again. But no! He almost completely agreed with me, saying we’d only end up falling out cos he’ll be better than me and I won’t like it! Fine then!

He didn’t really have much else to say as usual but I got another “I love you” out of silence! 🙂

I’ve just been having a really long talk with Mum. It was quite good! We have them every so often and just talk about all sorts. She told me I’m very wise and there’s common sense in everything I say, like Dad apparently. I told her I don’t like people very much (I mean, I do but I just don’t like how people have to make everything so complicated!) and she said Dad’s always said that! She says the wise part runs in his side of the family cos my Grandma’s the same. Mum said I’m like her in other ways though.

She can be interesting to talk to when you get into a proper conversation. I just wish she wouldn’t put herself down so much cos she’s not as bad as she seems to think!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

23-01-01 Jake email

23-01-01 Tess email

Putting ice on various parts of each other’s bodies – 15th August 2000

Tuesday 15th Jake came round to mine today and persuaded me to go to the Trafford Centre tonight. The people who went were me, Jake (obviously!), Hugo (twat!), Gethin, Robbie, Clara and Sandra.

We started off in the Rainforest Café where I ate half a raw burger cos I couldn’t see cos of the fake thunderstorms and stuff so I complained and we got it free. I then panicked I’d get food poisoning and rang Mum to ask if that was possible. She said it was and that she’ll be livid if I’m ill for going to Scotland on Friday and that it’s my own fault for not eating something sensible in the first place! Charming!

Then we went to the cinema. We saw Diane Oxbury with TV cameras there from the North West Tonight news. We avoided them!

We saw Gone in 60 Seconds (again!), although Jake and I were messing about putting ice on various parts of each other’s bodies!

In the taxi on the way home there was just me, Jake and Gethin in one. Gethin said Hugo had been slagging us off and Jake got pissed off and ended up telling me that Hugo had once said Jake could do better than me (that really hurts my feelings!) and that he should pull loads of girls on the cruise. He promises he won’t and doesn’t want to anyway. Hugo also reckons we’re not suited and won’t last long. Bastard!

In texts later, Jake told me that Hugo had once asked him, “Where do you put it?” when they were talking about ‘stuff’! I’m considering posting Hugo a book on growing up or something, like you buy kids when you don’t want to tell them yourself where babies come from!

Bye!

P.S. Gethin starts work at The Green Dragon on Sunday but I’ve not heard from them. 😦 I don’t think they want me!

A day in the life of Tessa – 23rd May 2000

Tuesday 23rd Hayley was still speaking to me this morning. It just went back to how it is normally is. Although, she was in floods of tears when she was talking to Georgia about something. It was probably about Andy so I just kept out of it cos I’m getting sick of her repeating herself when she talks about him!

I saw Jake today. There was no mention of his mum between us. He did seem a bit quiet which would be understandable but then I’m not sure if he’s just normally like that and if I was just more aware of it today now I know there could be a reason behind it.

I told my mum about his mum on the way to Grandma’s tonight. I’ve been dreading telling her cos I don’t want her worrying about how I might be affected and stuff but I knew I’d have to say something eventually anyway.

She started asking me about Jake and what he’s doing now he’s left college and stuff so I took the opportunity to tell her about his mum while we were on the subject of him. She was on the edge of crying when I told her, I could tell by her voice and I could see her eyes beginning to fill up. I found it hard not to cry again myself, especially when she said how I’ll have to do a lot of supporting.

She’s the 3rd person that’s said that. First it was Mrs K then Hugo and now her. I know though!! It’s easier said than done. I’m so worried about saying the wrong thing to him or making him feel worse about it all.

My mum just kept saying how awful it is, especially with a young family, and how awful it’s going to be for her husband. I just wanted to get out of the car cos I thought I was going to cry and didn’t want her to see me do that cos she’d start worrying about me, and she’s got enough to worry about with Grandma and stuff.

I’ve told mum not to say anything to anyone or ask anyone if they know about it and she said she won’t.

Gethin’s done ‘A day in the life of Tessa’ now! →

a-day-in-the-life-of-tessa.jpg

It’s quite funny in parts, although I could take offence to it! I won’t though cos I know it’s only a joke really! A few other people could find it insulting too actually! Oh well!

Bye!

She doesn’t trust the internet at all! – 1st & 2nd April 2000

Saturday 1st Boring day. I’ve been attempting to get through the hills of homework that’ve gradually accumulated on my bedroom floor, but unsuccessfully!

Jake’s been in Birmingham visiting his grandparents or something. I’ve only had one message from him saying that he’s be shopping and has bought skis. He must’ve sobered up, damn it!! I liked the messages I got last night better. I wonder if he can remember what he put!

For future reference: Got a message from Sarah saying if I want free text messages from on the internet then I can use her ‘Genie’ username and password. I don’t really want to put mine in cos Mum’d go mad if she found out I’d given our password out. She doesn’t trust the internet at all!

USERNAME = sllewellyn
PASSWORD = STARBUG

Bye!

Sunday 2nd It’s Mother’s Day so we just got ours the usual – chocolates, flowers and a card. We’re not very imaginative at the last minute!

I went to Chester to shop with Sarah today. I was in search of a denim jacket but ended up with a black one and a pair of black cut-off trousers instead. I got them both from that Cheshire Oaks place after we didn’t find anything in Chester. My trousers are from Pilot and the jacket’s a Chilli Pepper one.

Chilli Pepper coat

The jacket.

When I got him I started watching the Bolton v. Villa FA Cup semi-finals match. I’m gutted Bolton lost on penalties. See as Man Utd aren’t in it this season, I’d like to have seen Bolton get through to the finals. I suppose they did well anyway. Jake said he wanted them to win too.

Bye!