He pointed out all the girls that he fancied – 1st to 3rd February 2002

Friday 1st  It was nice seeing Jonas again tonight. He came round to mine and we did stuff (level 3) to make up for lost time. That’s all we did though.

At one point, Jonas suddenly said, “Ugh!… I just want, ugh!… Hug you and squeeze you and stuff!” 🙂 I don’t mind!


Saturday 2nd  I stayed at Jonas’s tonight. He said he loves me twice 🙂 and that I’m just his type with the way I dress and stuff and my music taste.

He showed me his yearbook from Forres and he pointed out all the girls that he fancied or fancied him. There were quite a lot of them actually. He said he misses his mates too and said he hasn’t got as many mates now at uni as he did at Storthes. He was also saying how he got to level 4 with Paul’s ex-girlfriend which I didn’t know.

He told me I’ve got a perfect body, I’m great and make him hot in more ways than one. When I asked him how, he said I make his mind melt. 🙂 Cool!

Cat let me know she’s just got a job at Dawson’s music shop in Warrington.

Jonas said he wanted a girlfriend to cuddle in front of the TV and stuff, not just for sex but as a companion too. He told Sid he wanted a girlfriend before his birthday and, after he snogged me, he asked Sid if it meant he had a girlfriend. Obviously it did!

It’s been annoying me for ages as to who it is Gareth Gates off Pop Idol reminds me of and tonight I finally worked it out. It’s Mr B my A Level Geography teacher. I texted Sarah to tell her and she texted back saying, “Oh my God! He sooo does! Am in hysterics now with Mum! S x”. It is funny!


Sunday 3rd  It was nice being with Jonas again today. We were cuddling lots and stuff. Mmm, I love Jonas! 🙂

He said his sister’s got a boyfriend and it’s weird.


Telling me about his fantasies – 29th to 31st January 2002

Tuesday 29th  I went to stay at Jonas’s tonight. On the way we stopped at uni to check emails and I had one from Gethin saying Ken’s mum’s died. That’s so bad. His dad died when we were at college too.

We just lounged around when we got to Jonas’s and he made me lie on top of him. He started telling me about his fantasies involving me when he “gets bored” (i.e. jacks off). He says he does it every day when he gets bored.

I’m making Jonas sound like a right pervert but he’s not too bad really. He does talk about normal things too but they’re not interesting so there’s no point in writing them down.

Ha ha ha!! Jonas was wandering around naked and Russell came up the stairs and saw him!


Wednesday 30th  Jonas gave me a list of houses up for rent next year. We’ve really got to try and sort something out soon. Archie had a list sent to his flat too so I’ve bought a road atlas of Huddersfield so we can see where they all are.

Jonas came round tonight and we got to level 5 but it went on for ages.

I ended up getting upset as I was lying in bed tonight. A sad song came on my CD player and it set me off thinking about Sarah and home in general and I found myself getting a bit homesick. I miss my friends loads. Jonas didn’t help by being nice and cuddling me cos it made me happy so I cried more! He told me he cries a lot just for the hell of it. He then told me he loves everything about me and he said, “I love you too, very much.” 🙂

Later on, I had a weird phone call from a lad saying my number was under his door saying to ring me. He said he reckoned it was his mates playing a trick.


Thursday 31st  Jonas stayed at his tonight cos he had work to do. I’m bored. I didn’t got out cos nobody else has either.


He’s done it on every piece of furniture – 23rd January 2002

Wednesday 23rd  Cat went home today and Jonas met me at the station then came to mine. We decided to go to bed quite early and worked our way through the levels (except 4) up to number 5. The TV and light were both on which was weird cos it’s normally pitch black and we can’t see a thing.

He told me he’s done it on every piece of furniture with Natasha which I didn’t particularly want to know! He also mentioned that he once had girls shouting through his bedroom window about stuff. It took me ages to find out what they said but he eventually told me that one of their mates found him to be quite good with his hands one night so the others wanted to see if it was true or something.

We said we loved each other and cuddled lots and Jonas told me that I’m great and that I’m the “whole package” and that he loves everything about me. 🙂 Mmm Jonas!!


He reckons I’ve got the “magic touch” – 17th & 18th January 2002

Thursday 17th to Friday 18th  Hello! 🙂 Just to update, I am now at Huddersfield University and sat writing this in my room at Storthes Hall Student Village thing. I’ve just finished my first lot of exams here and my lectures don’t start again until 4th February so I’ve got a nice bit of time off now with no work or anything to do. Yey!

So, seeing as I’m FREEEEEE I went out with some of my mates into Huddersfield. We started off at the Arbar at Storthes then got the bus into town and went to Milton Hall (Student Union bar) and the Rock Café. I was with my coursemate Jen but then met up with my lovely boyfriend Jonas when we got off the bus. We ended up pretty pissed and spending the rest of the night in Bar Non where there were a few other people off my course (Ben, Rick and Sally) so that gave us more people to talk to.

I think Jonas was pretty drunk to cos he kept tickling me and kissing my neck when I was trying to speak to people. I didn’t mind much but I think it made my mates feel a bit gooseberryfied!

Jonas’s housemate Russell was out too and he was being a bit of a prick. He was obviously pissed/on something and was talking complete crap at me. I could barely hear him over the music but what I did catch him saying was slurred bollocks. I sort of nodded and smiled at him but he suddenly started shouting at me that I made him feel really small or something. Right.

Jonas got texts off his coursemate Sid later saying he wants a “manly chat” without me around at the party Jonas is having on Saturday. I’m assuming I’m not wanted around cos some of the conversation is about me. Jonas kind of said so anyway.

Jonas stayed over at mine after going out and I had another night of being questioned on various stuff about myself and my past. I found out stuff about him though too. He said he regretted having sex for the first time cos it involved a lot of pain and blood, both of which were his. He also said that even though girls have tried everything, none of them could satisfy him completely except….. ahem….. me! 🙂 He reckons I’ve got the “magic touch” and I seem to know what I’m doing.

Once we were up and dressed we got the bus down to uni. We went on the internet to check emails and stuff and then I went on emode.com to do some personality test things. Jonas did the Sex God one and I noticed some of his answers. One said he wants commitment which I thought was good. 🙂

Ooh! Also there was other stuff said while we were in bed cos we didn’t end up sleeping until about 6am. Jonas said “I love you” twice but when I asked him what he’d said he wouldn’t repeat it. He said he’s been thinking he loves me for about a week and a half 🙂 cos he’s never felt like he does about anyone before. He said he loves being with me and asked for a cuddle. He also said he was worried I’d be scared off and my ex (Jake) is sometimes in the back of his mind cos I went out with him for so long. I told him not to worry cos I feel the same, which is true cos I do. 🙂

I love Jonas! Hee hee!!


I didn’t just say that!” – 16th & 17th January 2002

Wednesday 16th to Thursday 17th  WOOHOO!!! My exams have finished! 🙂 Although I don’t think I’ll feel like celebrating when I get my results back.

My Molecular Science exam this morning was evil. I really don’t think there’s any way I can have passed it unless I did some really lucky guessing in the multiple choice section. We had 2 longer essay questions to do at the end and I really struggled. Everyone else thought it was okay so that didn’t really make me feel better either.

Kevin managed to piss me off before the exam. I was saying how I was worried about it and he came out with, “It’s good to know when you don’t need to revise.” Tosser! If anyone else had’ve said it. I would’ve taken it as a joke but he seemed genuinely smug about it. Grrr!!

I also got my last piece of coursework handed in today so I didn’t know what to do with myself when I got in. I texted Jonas and he replied saying, “I know what u can do! See me J x”. So, Jonas came round to mine. He ended up staying over. When he first arrived it was really nice. We were sat on my bed and then he cuddled me round my waist and said he’d missed me. He said so a couple of other times too. 🙂

Later on, he said, “You’re gorgeous, lovely and I love you” as he was lying on me, followed quickly by, “I didn’t just say that!” Cool! 🙂 I hope he meant it. I didn’t comment cos I didn’t want to embarrass him but I couldn’t stop smiling. I really missed him and I have been thinking to myself that I love him too. 🙂 There’s been a couple of times I felt like telling him but I would’ve been worried about scaring him. Mmm Jonas! 🙂 🙂 🙂


P.S. My next diary’s a silver one about the size of this one.

[There’s always stuff in the back of my diaries and this is what I found in this one. A post-it doodle of Jonas (I think), notes of some of his texts and a seemingly random bus ticket…]

Kinky knickers – 13th to 15th January 2002

Sunday 13th  I went to uni with Jonas today to check emails and stuff. We stayed in bed for a while this morning and did stuff (level 3). I really should change my sheets but the laundry lady might get suspicious if I keep doing it so often.

We won’t see each other for 3 days now cos of my damn exams. We said goodbye and he told me to text him.

All my flatmates except Lewis are back now so it’s back to normal. I don’t like it being too quiet.


Monday 14th  I had a totally disastrous Global Environmental Problems exam this morning. Everyone said they found it hard though which made me feel slightly better. I couldn’t answer loads of the questions and the annoying thing was that I looked at a lot of the stuff when revising but didn’t really take it in.

I told Jonas my exam was crap and he texted me back saying, “HUG! Just got me up. Off to town to spend in a bit! : ) x” I wish I could have a real hug off him.


Tuesday 15th  I had my Ecology & Pollution exam today. It was bad but not quite as traumatising as the one yesterday. I’ve now got a major Chemistry panic cos I’ve got my Molecular Sciences exam tomorrow. That’s the one I’m dreading most cos I’m hideously bad at it. I can’t blag my way through it quite as easily, although I’m not sure I was all that successful in the other 2 either.

Jonas texted me once today to say he’s taking his guitar to be fixed in Holme Valley and also “Might be going to Visage 2night. What u gonna spend money on. Kinky knickers?? x” Oh joy. While he’s off out, I’m stuck with bloody Chemistry revision. I would like to buy new underwear but the stupid cash machine at uni swallowed my TSB card. Ok, it was out of date but I’ve got a space in my purse now and I’ve left my new card at home.

At about 10pm I got another text from Jonas saying, “Hey sexy! : ) What you up to? Missing u, ahhh : ) What u doing 2mo then after ur exam? x”. Aww! He misses me 🙂 I miss him too. A lot!


He kept trying to give me love bites – 12th January 2002

Saturday 12th  Jonas came to stay at mine again tonight. He made me drink Lambrini (although I didn’t take much persuading) and then made me a collage of photos of me on my laptop. When we were lying in bed, Jonas said something like, “I wish I could stop thinking about you! I can’t get you out of my head!” 🙂 He then started asking about my fantasies again. I wouldn’t answer so he asked if I’ll tell him if we’re still together after 4 years or if we get married. I said I will. That then led onto him telling me his parents left school at 16, got married at 19 then had him year later.

After that, he started asking questions about periods. It’s not exactly my favourite topic of conversation but never mind. He said he doesn’t mind doing stuff even though I’m on and suggested putting a towel down cos he said Dave used to do that with his girlfriend. Yuck! I refused. He said he just wants to make me happy.

I changed the subject and asked if he’s likely to be gay. He said he isn’t cos he likes me so much and he wouldn’t react to me if he was. Fairy nuff!

He kept trying to give me love bites and when I asked why, he mumbled what sounded like “cos I love you” but when I asked what he said he told me “cos I want to bite you”. Hmm.

He kept cuddling and smiling at me and said he doesn’t want to sleep on his own. He also said, “God damn, you’re beautiful” and “You’re great”. He’s so lovely! 🙂

He printed off a picture of me in a Santa hat saying he’ll need it for when he doesn’t see me. He said I’m not bad at singing and I told him I’m on the pill but said it’s for stomach cramps, not the real reason (spots). He likes the way I look by the sounds of it so I don’t want him to go off me if he thinks I’m going to become hideously ugly. Hopefully he’s not that shallow but you never know and I don’t want to risk it. I also made it clear I don’t want to rely on the pill. He seemed to understand what I meant which is good.


7 = threesome – 10th January 2002

Thursday 10th  I went to Jonas’s tonight cos he’s got E4 on a TV and I wanted to watch Friends and ER. We went in the basement bit to watch it and then something about Linkin Park afterwards. I’ve never been downstairs before. We cuddled on the sofa and he kept me warm.

After watching TV, we went upstairs and Jonas put some snowboarding game on his Playstation. He then said he was going to serenade me and played his guitar at me. I discovered he had a Formula 1 obsession too.

He’s put my photo on the wall and said everyone who’s seen it thought I was pretty but he said I’m prettier in real life. To that I said, “Aww! I like you!” and he said he liked me too, like really seriously as if he really meant it and wasn’t just saying so cos I did first. 🙂 He also said, “How come you’re so sexy?!” to me.

We had another long talk about more stuff when we were in bed. He told me how far he’s got with certain people. We used my system of ‘levels’ that I use with my mates so he could just say a number rather than actually tell me. The levels (or ‘bases’ as he calls them) are:

(My mates have further levels e.g. 6 = up the backside, 7 = threesome etc. but I didn’t mention those!)

Anyway, Jonas said he got to level 3 with some girl called Nicola cos she was naked on his bed but he only did 3 to her, not the other way round. He said when he was 9, some 11 year old girl and he showed each other their bits then lay on each other to try and make a baby. Hmmm!

Jonas asked me if I’d ever been in love. I said yes cos of Jake. He said he thought he had been with a girl called Rhian but wasn’t really. She dumped him after she got back off holiday after going out with him for a few weeks. He said he doesn’t really know what love is yet.

He then asked what my fantasy was. I wouldn’t tell him cos I genuinely couldn’t think but I managed to find out one of his. It was that he was in school and had a girl over a desk while everyone else was working and not noticing. Apparently that was from when he was much younger though. He asked what I liked (as in bed) cos he said he wants to please me but I couldn’t say. Hopefully he’ll work it out.

I asked Jonas if any girl has stood out from the rest. He said I do cos I’m his first proper relationship. He said Jake doesn’t bother him cos he’s laid back about stuff like that. I’m glad really. I also asked if I’d get a mention in conversations with future girlfriends. He said, “Nooo!” I think as in, “No, I don’t want to think about future girlfriends”, not that I wouldn’t get mentioned. I said he’s stuck with me for the time being and he said he doesn’t mind. He said he’d told himself he didn’t want a girlfriend before he met me but he did really cos he wanted someone to hug and stuff.

Later on, he suddenly came out with, “You’ve got really nice breasts” and asked what it feels like to squeeze them. I didn’t answer.

Jonas then tried to tie me up again and give me a lovebite but it didn’t really work.

We were more cuddly tonight than we ever have been before tonight. 🙂


He made me drink an entire bottle of Lambrini or two – 31st December 2001 to 1st January 2002

We got home from Scotland in time for New Year’s Eve which I was quite pleased about because I really wanted to see Jonas and I didn’t want to miss out on what all my friends were doing. Mum took me to the station to pick Jonas up at about 5:30pm. I was going to get the bus to save him being in a confined space (i.e. the car) with one of my parents but they weren’t all running. It wasn’t too bad though cos Mum didn’t say anything to embarrass me and neither did Jonas. When he saw me in the station he said, “Yey!” and then went to relieve his bladder behind some bins.

After drinking quite a bit at my house, Michael picked Jonas and me up and we all went round to Isaac’s house for a party. There are many blank bits but from what I do remember…

  • Cat and Karen snogged right in front of Jonas (much to his pleasure).
  • I snogged Jonas lots including when he was on the phone.
  • I spoke to some of his friends/family but haven’t got a clue what I said (Jason and Emma, whoever they are!)
  • Also possibly spoke to his sister.

It’s all Jonas’s fault I can’t remember stuff cos he made me drink an entire bottle of Lambrini or two by refusing to help me get through them.

Jonas had his new lip spike in. It’s not as scary as it sounds and it was actually quite nice kissing him without the ring for a change.

I gave Jonas his Christmas presents too. It was really freaky cos he’d got me a George out of Rainbow too! Except the one he gave me was smaller but I don’t mind. I wasn’t expecting anything.

At the party, Jonas kept talking to Zack Bain for some reason. I spoke to everyone although I can’t remember what about.

Isaac very kindly let Jonas and me have the sofa bed in his room cos he decided to stay in the living room. We went to bed when people had gone home or started falling asleep. Stuff happened. I don’t remember when I fell asleep but I still had no clothes on when I woke up. Jonas kept going under the covers to see too.

When we finally decided to move and see where everyone else was, we went into the living room to find Cat and Aled Brownlee snuggled up under a sleeping bag on the sofa. I later found out she snogged him. Hah! Now she can’t take the piss out of me for snogging him!

Michael and Sarah gave Jonas and me a lift back to mine. We fell asleep on my bed pretty much straight away. When I woke up, I went downstairs to find Auntie G and Grandma S and a proper Christmas dinner. My dad was also there, complete with mangled face. I found out he’d been walking home from the pub and had slipped on the ice and fallen over. He had his hands in his pockets too therefore he landed flat on his face and skidded for a bit. Ow!!

Also, a cupboard door in the kitchen had come off and my parents nearly set fire to the house whilst trying to light a fire.

My Grandma saw Jonas and said he seems very nice. 🙂


Bladdered on “real” diesel – 12th & 13th September 2001

Tuesday 12th I was at Cat’s for most of today cos I stopped over last night. We just played on SimCity on the computer.

You can’t escape what happened in New York today. It’s everywhere. The whole thing’s so terrible. There must’ve been so many people killed. 😦


Wednesday 13th We did The Run [pub crawl] tonight for a change cos a lot of people are going to uni on Saturday morning and so can’t go out tomorrow.

Cat was really pissing me off. I was totally sober (trying to save money) and she was really bladdered on “real” diesel (lager, cider, blackcurrant and whisky – which we wouldn’t normally add). She kept going into the toilets to talk to Sarah about the internet male dominatrix she’s been in contact with and leaving me out.

When I was speaking to Sarah, she was telling me about stuff her and Michael do. He’s tied her up and they’ve had sex in all sorts of places, lots of times. It’s made me realise how boring Jake actually was!

Denny had a message off Jake tonight actually, saying he couldn’t do The Run cos he was on a hill somewhere in Wales. He’s doing his Queen’s Scout Award thing.

I’m beginning to think that maybe I’m either weird or in some sort of state where it’s not sunk in yet but I never really go on about Jake or anything. I am just finding myself getting on with it. All my mates have had long whinges about Mr L and Maz for example but I realised I haven’t actually done that yet. I suppose that’s a good thing though. Mum keeps saying she’s proud of me and, I have to say, I’m actually quite proud of myself so far!

I still can’t bear the thought of him with another girl though. I hope that’ll pass. The thing is, I don’t really know how I’ll feel about things cos none of my friends have really been through this so they can’t tell me. 😦