Wearing black balaclavas and pretending to be tadpoles – 28th & 29th April 2001

Saturday 28th I was with Jake all day today. 3 happened this morning but I’m still confused about last night and it was probably the real reason behind me getting upset so easily when my sister went a bit bitchy about going in the shower first.

It’s Sarah’s actual birthday today so me, her, Michael and Jake all went to see Bridget Jones’s Diary (again!) at the Trafford Centre cinema.

I got some messages off Jake when he went home which made me feel a bit better (but I’m still confused) about last night. One said. “ : ) HEY! I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH! I’M SORRY FOR KEEPING YOU AWAKE! I THINK IT WAS MORE THAN WORTH IT THOUGH! : ) I JUST GET FRUSTRATED COS I WANT TO STAY IN YOUR BED. I WOKE UP AT 7AM + COULDN’T GET BACK TO SLEEP COS I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO WALK THROUGH MY DOOR! I LOVE FALLING ASLEEP CUDDLING YOU + WAKING UP NEXT TO YOU! J xJx”.

Bye!

Sunday 29th Jake came to Mum’s school with me, Mum and Abby today to help make a pond in the corner of Mum’s classroom for the children to go underneath and play in wearing black balaclavas and pretending to be tadpoles! It looks really good!

This evening my state of confusion disappeared after the exchange of texts with Jake. 🙂 They weren’t very nice to start with but got better. Here goes:

  1. “Well I enjoyed it! Sorry I won’t bother in future! : ( Let’s face it – there’s not much chance of us having fun with them! x”
    (Last part was referring to Manchester and my mates.)
  2. “I’m so sorry! I just seem to be upsetting you all the time at the moment! : ( I always say something horrible or manage to upset you even more when you need cheering up! I’m a crap boyfriend! + I don’t know how you put up with me! I love you more than anything in the world + I’m so sorry! Please text me when you get credit. x”
    (I did have credit! Ha ha!!)
  3. “You said it continued to be a bad night! How do you think that made me feel? It put me off too!”
  4. “Noooo! : ) I wasn’t disappointed at all! I didn’t know what to do?! Don’t think that! Love you! : ) xJx”
  5. “ : ) I want to be with you now! : ) Anyway, I’m really sorry if I gave you the wrong impression – I certainly wasn’t disappointed! I love you! : ) xJx”

Finally! That’s what I needed to hear! He’s actually pretty considerate! I bet most lads wouldn’t think twice about upsetting me! Ooh, I love him!! 🙂

Bye!

“Biology sessions” – 22nd & 23rd April 2001

Sunday 22nd I still keep getting those dizzy, rushing, weird feelings at night. 😦 It’s kind of like when something makes you jump and the rushing feeling you get. I don’t like it! I remembered today that Sarah said she gets weird hallucination-y dreamy things when she’s half asleep too! I get them all the time so I’m glad I’m not the only one!

Jake came round again today. We were talking about uni and he says he’s really looking forward to it. He was also talking about the house we could have one day and stuff too! 🙂 He sent me some messages last night about “special cuddles” and said “practice makes perfect” so we’ve got to practice lots! 🙂

Bye!

Monday 23rd Last night’s messages consisted of stuff about “biology sessions” and how he’ll have to help me with certain parts of my revision! Somehow I don’t think much work would get done… not of the school kind anyway! Jake says he wants to do stuff on Friday night if we can. I want to but not really in my house with my family around.

I didn’t see Jake at all today cos I was at college and he was at home or at the gym in town. He did phone at about 6pm though which was nice of him.

Cat told me today that Mr L has a new victim. It’s Ellie Linton in Year 10… she’s only 15! He is such a pervert!

Cat said she’d spoken to Ellie about it. Ellie said he rang her about passports for the Russia trip and ended up telling her she was beautiful and what he was doing to himself (jerking off)! He’s sick!!

Ellie’s really upset by it cos he’s been her form tutor for years and she had confided in him about stuff and he used to play with her hair and stuff. Creepy! She feels like he’s been sort of bringing her up as some little plaything. I feel so sorry for her!

Bye!

What does he expect?! – 20th April 2001

Thursday 20th A group of us did The Run tonight. It was all okay until Jake was talking to some of his year in The Woodman and the rest of us waited outside. Cat suggested hiding round the corner for a laugh but Jake didn’t find it very funny. He sat on a bench and when I tried to apologise, he shoved me out of the way. I was actually quite embarrassed cos he did it in front of everyone and I nearly fell over. He didn’t push me hard, I was just a bit pissed!

So, we both ended up sulking and didn’t speak. When we got to The Grey Hen, he just got up and left cos we still hadn’t said anything. I felt guilty then so I got Cat to ring him to find out where he was. He said he was walking home so I spoke to him and told him not to be so stupid and come back. He did and we sat by the old station while everyone else went in The Mossland.

We talked for a bit and apologised about the hiding and pushing thing but I could tell there was something else wrong. Eventually he told me that I care too much about what my friends think and that tonight I seemed more concerned with them than him. He said it’s not the same as before he went.

What does he expect?! I made new set of friends while he was away in the form of College 1s. I explained to him that I’m just trying to keep everyone happy but I’ve obviously not got the right balance between him and friends cos he felt neglected. If I paid more attention to him though, my mates would go all moody on me. I don’t want that either. I thought I was managing okay but he obviously feels my attention for him in lacking somewhat.

I got upset and explained I didn’t do it deliberately (apparently I was doing it before we fell out). He then got upset too cos he’d upset me! That meant we made up though. 🙂 He said he hates falling out but it’s really nice when we make up afterwards! I agree!

Bye!

I hope she wasn’t there. Grrr! – 16th & 17th April 2001

Monday 16th I went to Manchester on the train with Jake today. He got 2 packs of photos back from Canada and we had a minor fall out cos I went all “funny” with him when he got the photos out. I couldn’t help it! He had photos of girls dressed up as cowgirls and stuff which didn’t help but I was just generally feeling left out for some reason.

He got upset in the middle of St Ann’s Square so we ended up making up cos we both felt guilty. He said he’d rather be here with me and that Charlie and Abbi were just nice to him and were the only ones who talked to him about me. I got a wave of jealousy to begin with cos I should’ve been the one talking to him (not about me, obviously!) but now I just want to know what was said!

Jake bought 2 shirts and a pair of short things and I saw the best trainers ever in Shellys! I want them sooo badly but they’re £50. They were so cool! [They weren’t.]

Bye!

Tuesday 17th I went to the Trafford Centre with Jake today to see Bridget Jones’s Diary at the cinema. Sarah and Cat were meant to come too but Sarah let us down at the last minute so Cat didn’t want to come on her own with us. The film was really good but not quite true to the book. I suppose they couldn’t get everything in the film though.

We managed to find Sarah a birthday present too and a card so that was handy cos we probably won’t get another chance to get her anything before next week now.

We got the bus back to the train station near Jake’s BUT the bus didn’t actually stop there cos nobody else was getting off and we didn’t press the buzzer! There were no stops until Warrington after that so we had to get off there. I rang my mum but she made us get the bus home.

Jake got off early to go to The Beech Tree with Ventures. I wasn’t very pleased at that (but I let him) cos I found out from him today that Hannah R fancies/used to fancy him. I hope she wasn’t there. Grrr!

I keep having funny far away/dizzy moments like I did when I was ill again. I had them at the cinema and whilst trying to sleep last night. Weird!

Bye!

What Hugo said was bollocks – 14th & 15th April 2001

Saturday 14th Jake came round today. We got into the subject of his family not liking me and he said it isn’t true and we both got upset over it. He made out that it was my fault anyway for not making an effort to speak to them. How can I when whenever I go to his house, his dad’s at work, his sister’s at the stables and his brother’s shut in his room? Even when I did speak to his dad, Jake always dragged me away or shut his bedroom door for fear of his dad saying something embarrassing to me.

He also told me that bastard Hugo said I come across as being rude and ignorant towards people. That’s just because last time I saw Hugo, I wasn’t exactly being nice to him but it was with good reason seeing as he’d slagged both me and Sarah off just before. Twat!

Jake did say that what Hugo said was bollocks though. Still, all that hasn’t exactly boosted my confidence.

Bye!

Sunday 15th Jake came round to mine again today. I gave him back scratches and stuff and he told me I’m very good at it! He kept called me his little Easter bunny today too! Ha ha ha!!

When Jake went home this evening, I overheard Mum and Dad talking about how I never go to his house and how we spent 8 hours in my room today. I got upset and asked why they said it and explained about Jake’s dad and brother not particularly liking me. They told me not to go O.T.T. and said I’m in a different sort of relationship to Abby and so to stop taking things they say about her on board. They said they understand me not wanting to go to Jake’s house though.

I made up with Mum. She said stuff about being middle aged and got upset. She told me I’m a very caring person really and that Jake’s lovely. She said me and her are both too sensitive and very alike which is why we get upset so easily.

Bye!

We had a bit of a passionate session! – 6th April 2001

Friday 6th

HE’S BACK!!!!! 🙂

I woke up to a message on my phone from Jake this morning. He sent it at 11:49pm last night (just after I’d gone to bed) from Calgary airport saying that he’d missed his phone, that he’s missed me more and that he loves me. 🙂

I accidentally left my phone at home when I went to college but I needed it cos Mum was going to ring to tell me when she could pick me up so I skived 2nd lesson (Maths General Studies) and walked home to get it. I got a bit of Biology coursework done and then checked Teletext for Jake’s flight. It was meant to land at 10:35am but Teletext said it had landed at 10:47am. I was just pleased to see it had landed!

I went back to college, went to Biology and then helped Cat sort out people’s passports for the History trip to Russia. I saw Mr P-K’s and he looked so different but still quite fit! I saw Miss P’s too. She looked a bit more female than she does now cos she had longer hair!

Jake texted me again at about 2:30pm to say he was on his way home in the car. I was pleased to read that too.

All day I’d been getting little waves of excitement when I’d remembered I could see him tonight. The day really dragged though. He said he’d come to my house at about 6:30pm so I went home from college early cos I had a free period last thing and started to get ready cos I didn’t want to still be in the shower or anything when he arrived!

I was just in the middle of watching The Simpsons on TV when I saw his dad’s car pull up at the end of our drive. I saw Jake in the passenger seat and couldn’t stop grinning! I wasn’t sure whether I should rush to the front door or wait until he knocked.

I saw him run up the drive (it was raining) so I ran to the front door. He knocked twice just as I got there and I let him in. I’d been running through in my head all day what I’d do when I first saw him but anything I came up with I forgot when I was actually with him.

We just stood in the hall and hugged each other really hard. He said he loved me so I said I loved him too and we carried on hugging. It was weird (but nice!) kissing him for the first time too cos I couldn’t stop smiling!

It was all really weird actually! I kept having to poke him and stuff to check he was really here! He looks pretty much exactly the same as he did before he went. He was even wearing his jeans and sheep fleece like he did before.

Any daft little worries I’d had before completely disappeared once I was actually with him. He kept saying, “I love you” and I believe him cos of the way he kept touching me everywhere and kept kissing me and stuff cos I was exactly the same with him and I do love him.

We eventually moved from the hall into the front room cos he wanted to see Mollie. She seemed pleased to see him but I still got more attention from him that she did. I was sat on the sofa and he was behind it, still hugging and kissing me so I moved Mollie so he could sit down. We sat cuddling on the sofa for a bit before we went into my room so I could sort my bag out and stuff. It’s sooo good having him back! 🙂

Connor gave us a lift to The Dog, stopping off at the Chinese for Jake to get chips and then we sat in the car eating them. We saw Cat and everyone going out of The Dog so we got out of the car. Jake gave Cat a big hug and then they went on to The Woodman. Jake wanted to go in The Dog so we went in for one drink before catching the others up.

We didn’t stay there long cos all the College 1s were being annoying so we moved to The Cosy Jack. I don’t think Jake let go of me once in there! He was talking to the other people but hugging me. 🙂 He was telling Cat about skiing Dan and how he always smiles and he was known as Radiant Dan cos once someone asked how he was and he said he was “radiant”! Cat likes the sound of him! So do I actually but not in a fanciable way cos I’ve got Jake back now! 🙂 🙂 🙂

We moved to The Grey Hen when we finished out drinks and Jake and I stopped off for a nice long kiss on the way. Mmm! We had to sit on the floor in there cos there weren’t enough chairs but I didn’t mind cos we were sort of hidden. By then, Jake had told me I was beautiful and was constantly whispering or mouthing “I love you” at me so I said it back cos it’s true. It’s nice to keep hearing it from him. 🙂

 

Tess & Jake

[Here we are, reunited on the floor of the pub.]

He told me that everyone had been asking if I’d be at Heathrow airport cos they wanted to see me, and Charlie and Abbi wanted to say hi. He said me and Cat can go to Alton Towers with them all so we can see them cos I kind of want to and she definitely does!

We went in The Mossland next but went when they stopped serving so we weren’t there long. Everyone else headed into the next village but Jake and I went back to my house instead. We were just sat in the kitchen and I was asking if there was anything he hadn’t told me about Canada (jokingly!) and he went all quiet.

I eventually got it out of him that there was some Canadian instructor called Sarah who took a liking to him. He said he didn’t know about it until Rob (who’d warned her off him) told him the next day that she’s been asking after him. He said it upset him and scared him at the time cos he didn’t like the thought of it all happening behind his back cos he though he’s made it clear to everyone that he wasn’t available.

He said he wanted to tell me but didn’t know how to say it and didn’t want to worry me. He’s right, I would’ve been worried and he said it happened recently so I’ll forgive him for not saying anything. He said nothing happened but I was annoyed and active like I didn’t believe him and he ended up getting upset about it. I had to calm down cos I felt really guilty for not believing him (I sort of did really) and getting him upset.

We made up and he made me lie on the floor in the dining room where we had a bit of a passionate session! We didn’t really do much other than kiss though.

He told me that it’s not just one thing that he likes about me and he said I’m just sexy! Hah!! He also said we’ll have to have a whole night together during these holidays. I agree!

I’m really, really glad he’s back now! 🙂 No more waiting for phone calls or worrying about cougars and stuff! 🙂

Bye!

It’s all VERY dodgy!! – 22nd February 2001

Thursday 22nd
6 weeks to go!

Jake’s half way through his Canada trip now. I really want him to come home though because I’m REALLY REALLY missing him!!! 😦

I really should have been revising for my Biology exams next week today but instead I went with Mum to pick the car up from Warrington where it was being serviced. We had to go on the bus and there were a load of scally lads that used to be in my year on it. They didn’t do or say anything to me but they were sat behind us and made me feel really uncomfortable!

Not surprisingly, the car wasn’t ready when we got there so Mum and I went for a look around Matalan for half an hour. We went back to the car place and they finally said it was ready! We then went for a look round Ikea but not for long cos it was really busy. Mum then made me go in this new bathroom place so she could see if they had any good ideas that we could use in our bathroom. That didn’t take very long cos it was smaller than we thought.

On the way home, we went to have a look round the show homes that have been built on the old mental hospital site. One of them was really nice but the others had all the rooms in weird places e.g. the master bedroom opposite the living room.

I did do a bit of revision when I got home and then Jake phoned at about 7:15pm. He couldn’t stay on for very long though cos he started his assessment today and only had half an hour for lunch.

My sister phoned up tonight from France in floods of tears because of Mr L, a history teacher. Mum said she wasn’t making much sense but basically Jacqueline Robson and Katya W (out of my sister’s year) had been talking in the toilets about Mr L having flings with college students and Mrs L overheard them and told all the teachers that they were trouble making.

Mr L then went off his head at all the college girls and said they can’t go skiing tomorrow, including Abby which is why she was so upset cos she wasn’t really involved. It’ll probably get sorted out though.

The thing is that it’s totally true about Mr L. He’s slept with a girl called Donna Sharpe in College 1 and has been trying to get my mate Cat to do the same but she won’t. She’s snogged him and I think their hands have wandered though! I found it a bit hard to believe at first but Cat’s not the type to lie, plus I’ve seen the emails he’s sent her and he’s phoned her too. Some of my other friends have heard a voicemail message he left on Donna’s phone too. It’s all VERY dodgy!!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

22-02-01 Jake email22-02-01 Tess email