We bought knickers and went back to the balcony – 30th & 31st May 2000

Tuesday 30th to Wednesday 31st Jake, Gethin, Hayley, Sarah and I all went for a trip to the Trafford Centre on Tuesday. My mum gave us all a lift there because Jake’s car had been in the garage. That part I wasn’t particularly looking forward to cos I thought my mum’d say something to embarrass me in front of Jake! In actual fact, it wasn’t too bad! Everyone kept pretty quiet!

Gethin was the one who really led the shopping trip cos the rest of us have no money so we just followed him about. He wanted a sarong to wear as a joke on the next Swing Band trip but couldn’t find one so then he moved onto cowboy hats in Topshop. He kept putting them on me, Sarah and Hayley, and then when we’d gone out of the shop, he and Jake were sort of whispering behind us and eventually said they’d buy cowboy hats for me and Sarah.

We thought that was a great idea until we realised it was a bit odd. We eventually got it out of Jake that both of them had ‘a thing’ about cowboy hats on girls! He said it’s really the only thing they’ve got in common! I also found out later that Jake likes the whole cowgirl look. I assume he means with hat, boots and probably like the suede bra thing with a fringe that I tried on in Topshop before I realised what was going on! He didn’t see me in that though.

We next took a trip into Boots to get a photo done in the booth of all 5 of us. →

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We didn’t want crappy little ones so we tortured ourselves by getting 5 separate big ones done so we could all have a decent sized one! It got very hot and sweaty in there and also very painful after a while!

Sarah and Hayley went off for a drink in Starbucks so I followed the lads. I kept losing Jake to any Quiksilver stuff! He’s so sad! He was looking at the most hideous shirt I’ve ever seen (bright orange with flowery things) and it was surrounded by perfectly nice shirts which he just ignored!

We eventually joined the others in Starbucks and sat on the table in the corner of the balcony. Hayley started to cry and said she wanted to go to New Look so, stupidly, I agreed to go with her. All I got was, “Oh, Andy, Andy, Andy!!” and “Why does he hate me?” you know, the usual stuff that I have to hear about 50 times a day!

We bought knickers and went back to the balcony. Then Sarah wanted to go to the same shop so I went again. She bought a cowboy hat and we went back to the lads. By then they’d overdosed on caffeine and Jake kept trying to make me wear the hat!

After that, we headed for the bus station. Hayley was whinging that she was a gooseberry again and that she’s on her own in the group cos there’s me and Jake, Gethin and Sarah, and Floyd and Cat (sort of!). Jake said something like, “I’ll have you!” He was joking (I think!) but it annoyed me cos it gave Hayley a smug smile.

I got pissed off on the way back too cos when we were waiting for a bus, Gethin sat between me and Jake, and then on the bus Hayley sat next to me.

We went back to the bus station near Jake’s so he could pick up his car and take us all back to Hayley’s village. I didn’t realise that it’d involve having to go in his house but it did! He’s got a nice house and a nice bedroom which makes mine look like a right tip! He’s got a dead good new mobile now which was on his bed. His new number’s 07989 ******.

I also had a look at his skis when he was taking them downstairs to show some woman who was talking to his dad. While he was gone, I noticed he had all my Valentine’s stuff that I gave to him and my postcard from skiing all on one shelf. He’s also got a toy bunny called Thumper in his bed (he tried to hide it!) and an old hedgehog puppet!

When we were downstairs in the kitchen, his dad came in to talk to us. He seems okay. Actually, he reminded me of Hugo a bit but I won’t be telling Jake that!

When Jake dropped me off at home so I could pick up my stuff for staying at Gethin’s, my dad came home and spoke to him briefly about his Beetle. That wasn’t too embarrassing either!

We had a good night at Gethin’s, except for Hayley who was constantly miserable and ended up in a mood with me cos I shouted at her to stop being so pathetic! She didn’t like to hear that!! I also had a good long chat with Lizzie cos she’s upset about Sarah and Hayley being bitchy towards her. I told her they’re totally out of order (which they are) and to at least try and ignore them cos she’s got plenty of other friends.

I was on the sofa with Jake for a long time and he kept trying to make me wear the hat again! He said he doesn’t know why he likes them! It was really nice just sitting there with him for that long. He’s recently taken to sucking my fingers if they go anywhere near his mouth (dunno why!) and I discovered that he likes having the back of his neck stroked.

Hayley’s departing words to me were, “It’s so nice to know who your friends are!” so I told her to fuck off and enjoyed the rest of the night! A good part of it was taken up with everyone slagging off Hayley which made me feel a bit less guilty when I realised I’m not the only one who really can’t stand her at the moment!

Eventually, Jake and I ended up lying on Gethin’s brother’s bed where we’d been told we could sleep. We were mostly just snogging but then…

[Really sorry everyone but I censored this bit before I went to uni for fear of my mum finding and reading my diaries whilst I was away. I’d done it on previous entries but can normally read through the black marker if I hold it up to the light. Unfortunately I did too good a job of crossing this bit out. I’ll try and read it in the daylight over the weekend but, to give you the gist for now, we both got up to number 3 of the Snogging Code if I remember rightly.]

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… barbeque ribs! I don’t think he saw anything!

We ate them all and cleaned up afterwards and then got back to kissing. I didn’t think anything else was going to happen with us cos he was making no attempt to try anything so I did! This time, I think stuff went over Gethin’s bro’s bed but then I wasn’t sure what stains were there already! The rest of the night passed leaving me wanting to crunch ice cubes and peel labels off bottles!

We both got a bit of sleep and then just lay there cuddling for hours in the morning. I really do love him.

Bye!

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He had his hand down my top for all of 2 minutes! – 28th May 2000

Sunday 28th Abby’s b’day!

Sarah had a little all-night gathering at her house tonight which involved her, Gethin, Hayley, Floyd, Jake and me. We all got pretty drunk pretty quickly so it was quite a good laugh. Jake stayed on one of the sofas pretty much all night so I stayed there with him.

Due to music being played pretty much throughout the night, Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden kept coming on so is yet another song that’s going to remind me of Jake. [Ugh… Vom.]

Every time I tried to get up, Jake tried to stop me. I like it when he doesn that cos it means he wants me to stay!

Hayley went all suicidal at one point so I had to go and sort her out. All I really wanted to do was go back to Jake but I didn’t for fear of later finding her swinging on the end of a rope from the ceiling or something. Gethin and Sarah also had a word with her and she seemed to cheer up a bit, especially when Andy answered her call.

Floyd was pretty happy all night because on Thursday night he’d been rolling round on Brian’s bedroom flood with Cat apparently!

Sarah was kept happy once she’d snogged Gethin in her bed! Gethin was just being his normal mad self!

I was happy to be with Jake but when it got light this morning, I was left slightly frustrated cos we hadn’t got any further than just kissing, except when he had his hand down my top for all of 2 minutes! I can’t believe we wasted the opportunity to do more. Even Sarah and Gethin did and we’ve been going out for well over 3 months! Oh well, maybe next time if there is one. I really would be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed by that night. I’ll know not to get my hopes up next time, I suppose!

Jake did say “Love you” once this morning and said something about wanting to eat my arm. I think he meant in an affectionate way, not just because he’d had no breakfast! He’s also decided he likes my nose. He says it’s cute, especially when I screw it up when he goes to kiss it or touch it!

He looked very cute this morning! He had Wallace and Gromit pyjamas on and his hair had gone all fluffy! He looked like a little kid!

I got a message from Jake when I got home and it said something about me needing to get beauty sleep. Charming! He then sent me another to explain, “I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT YOU DIDN’T NEED BEAUTY SLEEP BECAUSE YOU ARE ALREADY BEAUTIFUL BUT I COULDN’T FIT IT IN THE MESSAGE! I BETTER NOT GO TO GETHIN’S TONIGHT OR MY DAD WILL MOAN AT ME FOR GOING OUT FOUR NIGHTS IN A ROW + NOT REVISING!”

Liar! I still don’t know what he sees in me at all!

I sent him a message before asking if he was going to round to Gethin’s tonight and I said that I was still really tired but would go if he was. He said, “OK! HAYLEY AND GETHIN HAVE JUST RUNG ME – THEY ARE COOKING! I’LL SEE YOU ON TUESDAY IF WE GO SHOPPING?? P.S. I’M FLATTERED YOU WOULD GO IF I WAS GOING! : ) LOVE xJx”.

After that but a bit later on, I sent him a message apologising for falling asleep at Sarah’s! He sent me one back saying, “IT’S OK! JUST BEING WITH YOU MAKES IT A GOOD NIGHT! EVEN IF YOU ARE ASLEEP! YOU WOULD ONLY FEEL WORSE NOW IF YOU HADN’T FALLEN ASLEEP!! LOVE YOU!!! : ) xJx”.

He also sent another saying that I looked really cute when I’m asleep and that he wouldn’t want to wake me up after I told him he should’ve done. I also said that it had been a good night but admitted that I felt it’d been slightly wasted. He said, “OH WELL WE’LL GET ALL NIGHT TOGETHER AT GETHIN’S SO I’LL MAKE SURE YOU DON’T FALL ASLEEP! WE MIGHT GET A LITTLE MORE PRIVACY AND A COMFIER BED TOO?!! LOVE xJx”.

I told him that in order to get more privacy we might have to get Sarah to keep Gethin occupied! Jake said, “YES! – I’M SURE SHE WON’T MIND GOING ALONG WITH THAT!! WHEN ARE WE GONNA GO ROUND? BETTER MAKE SURE SARAH IS THERE AT THE SAME TIME! LOVE YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!! : ) xJx”.

I did reply to that one but he didn’t send any back for a couple of hours. I assumed he’d fallen asleep for the night but then at 11:33 pm I got a message from him saying, “I LOVE YOU! NIGHT NIGHT! : ) xJx”. That’s all it said but it didn’t half make me smile!

Bye!

Distressed moody gooseberry – 25th May 2000

Thursday 25th Jake had a General Studies exam this morning so I didn’t see him then but he stayed in college all afternoon with me. He’s recently gone a lot more sort of cuddly. I don’t mean he’s put on weight or anything, it’s just that he holds my hand and leans on me and cuddles me much more in front of people in the common room whereas he used to just sit on a chair next to me! I much prefer it how he is now!! I think I’ve said all that actually.

Hayley, Georgia, Rach, Lena, Gethin, Jake and I all went to Altrincham Ice Rink tonight because we’re not in college tomorrow (inset day). Jake’s quite a good skater and I’m not bad either (meaning I stay upright!) so we just skated round together or stood cuddling by the barrier. He had no gloves so his hands were freezing so he put them down the back of my jeans. I liked that cos that’s what you tend to see real couples doing sometimes, know what I mean?!

Hayley had a bit of a strop at one point (we expect it at some point now, EVERY TIME she comes out with us). This time it was because Rach, Gethin and Lena were getting a taxi home earlier cos they wanted to call in on Brian’s little gathering. Hayley then thought that they were trying to persuade Georgia to go with them (they weren’t) so she thought she’d “get stuck” with me and Jake and be “made to feel like a gooseberry”.

I don’t know if she realises it but everyone is getting so sick of her being a pathetic moody little cow! Rach said, “Hayley’s being so childish” so Georgia then said, “She is, isn’t she?! Wish me luck!” and then bombed it over the ice to have a go at Hayley! I think it worked, whatever Georgia said, but then when Georgia snogged some lad, Hayley did her distressed moody gooseberry thing again!

On the way home, Jake actually took everyone else before me for a change and then asked if I wanted to go somewhere else other than home. I just said I might as well go home cos I didn’t think that not going home would’ve meant longer with him. (I was tired, okay?! My brain wasn’t working properly!) I don’t know where he’d have taken me though. We did end up stopping in The Green Dragon car park so we had a good long snog! That kept me satisfied!

Bye!

Hayley, yet again, burst into tears – 22nd May 2000

Monday 22nd Jake was at Alton Towers today so I’ve not seen him at all. My mum said she saw his car parked near her school all day so he must have gone there with Ali Kershaw.

I got the results from my mock exams today. I got Es on both papers for Biology and a C on one Geography paper (not had the other one back yet). It’s not been such a good day. I liked college much better when Jake was there.

I’ve also had a bit of a falling out with Hayley. Rachael Hollins had been talking about Andy’s mates to Georgia Dean and Lena and had accidentally said “Andy” instead of someone else’s name as Hayley walked in. Hayley immediately ran off in floods of tears.

Later on, Hayley sat in the common room and Rachael was talking loudly about something which had no link to Hayley whatsoever but Hayley automatically assumed Rach was talking loudly just to wind her up when in actual fact she just always talks at that volume!

Then, after I had a free, Hayley came back from her lesson and said, “So, what’s the little bitch been saying about me then?” (meaning Rach who hadn’t mentioned Hayley) so I told her not to be so bleeding paranoid. Then she started going on about how she was going to snap soon (making it sound like she’s going to slap Rach or something) so I told Hayley that she’d better not expect me to stop talking to Rach and that Rach hadn’t even meant to say what she did in the first place.

Hayley, yet again, burst into tears saying, “It’s nice to know my best mates are sticking up for me!” extremely sarcastically. She’s been looking for an excuse to get at Rachael for ages cos she doesn’t like her much so she’s not prepared to listen to the truth cos she knows she’s in the wrong now and not Rach. Silly girl!!

I had another phone call from Hugo tonight. He told me more about Jake’s mum. He said she started off with breast cancer and it spread to her liver and now her brain and she’s got about a month left. He says she went into the hospice so that Robbie and Jake have a better chance of concentrating for their exams or something.

All day yesterday, I kept filling up with tears every time I thought about it and then there’s the affect it’ll have on Jake and I don’t know how to handle it really which is probably what’s upsetting me cos it’s all so horrible.

Hugo said tonight that Jake has asked him to mention it to me cos he doesn’t know how to tell me and doesn’t want me to think he’s doing it to get attention off me. I definitely wouldn’t think that!

Hugo also said that, yesterday, Jake had had to go out when his dad got home from seeing his mum cos he’d just broken down and Jake couldn’t bear to see him like that.

I’m finding it very difficult to write all this without crying now.

Hugo told me as well that he’d had messages off Jake saying how much he was glad he had him as a best mate and someone to love like he does me. Apparently Jake also said that he thinks I’m ‘the one’ but I’m not sure how much of all this is true due to Hugo being the one telling me. I get the impression that he’s not a reliable source of information!

I’m beginning to realise now why Jake’s not saying much to me about his mum. I mean, I can’t fully understand but I’m finding it difficult to speak to anyone about it myself, even though I want to tell someone cos it’s upsetting me too. I just don’t know what to say though and people might think I’ve not got any right to be upset about it so I’m tending to keep most of it to myself.

Just got a message from someone but the number at the top’s weird! I think it’s Hugo cos it starts, “YO TESS” like his always do. It mentions Jake and it doesn’t make much sense at one point! It says, “YO HI TESS GOT SICK OF TYPING ARE OFF THE NET SO HOW R U ITS GOOD THAT U AND JAKE ARE TOGETHER BECAUSE I THINK THAT U R PERFECT FOR HIM AND U MAKE A GOOD COUPLE!!” There’s also no punctuation in it which is another thing that makes me think it’s him!

Bye!

Watching Titanic made me go all soppy – 21st May 2000

Sunday 21st Mum’s birthday!

I went round to Hayley’s last night and ended up stopping over. We didn’t do much except watch TV and Titanic on video!

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The main reason I liked Titanic.

I got quite a few nice messages from Jake. I sent him one asking what he was doing and he replied, “I’M IN BED LISTENING TO MUSIC! I HOPE YOU DON’T MIND BUT I’M USING YOUR FLEECE AS A COMFORT BLANKET! : ) IF I CLOSE MY EYES IT’S LIKE BEING WITH YOU! LOVE YOU! xJx”.

Watching Titanic made me go all soppy so I sent him a message back saying that I didn’t mind him using my fleece for that and then told him that there aren’t the words to put how much I love him or something and I got one back saying, “THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE GONNA STOP SENDING MSGS DOES IT?! YOU CAN EXPRESS YOUR LOVE IN OTHER WAYS WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER!! REALLY DO LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH!!! : ) xJx”.

It was in the back on my mind that that message was a hint for us to take things further so I asked him what he meant by that. He told me, “I MEAN I CAN HOLD YOU CLOSE TO ME AND KISS YOU – WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER! DON’T KNOW WHAT I’D DO WITHOUT YOU OR MY PHONE!! I’M JUST GLAD WE FOUND EACH OTHER! LOVE xJx”.

I can’t remember what I said to that but the next message I got off him said, “JUST PROMISE ME THAT YOU’LL NEVER PINCH ME! COS I’M GOING TO WAKE UP FROM A REALLY NICE LONG DREAM! TICKLING IS OK BUT WATCH THOSE COLD HANDS!! LOVE YOU TOO! xJx”.

I had a phone call from Hugo Pratt too. He rang just after I’d got the first message off Jake. He started off just asking how I was and stuff then said he’d just spoken to Jake. He was saying how he’s really upset about his mum and how he’s been talking to Hugo about what’s changed with her every day but he’s not said much to anyone else cos he tends to keep things bottled up. To be honest, I think I’d be like that too.

The Hugo said how Jake’s really upset now after “what’s been going on recently”. I didn’t have a clue what he was on about and Hugo said he just assumed I knew but he said he’d better not say anything other than it’s really not good at the moment with Jake’s mum.

He then changed the subject on coming down to our villages one Friday night but then it got back on to the previous topic when he said how it was difficult for him cos can’t stay with Jake at the moment due to recent events. He then asked how much Jake had actually told me. He sounded a bit surprised when I told him that he’d only mentioned it once to my face and once in a message after Mr S’s assembly and Claire’s party thing. I told Hugo that I have actually known about her being ill for ages and that what I did know, I’d actually found out from other people. He asked who but I didn’t tell him.

He eventually ended up telling me what’s happened. Apparently Jake’s mum’s gone into a hospice and Jake’s reluctant about going to see her because he doesn’t like seeing her like that. He said he was meant to go to see her yesterday morning but didn’t and then worked last night so he didn’t go then either.

Hugo was saying she’s gone really weak and can’t even talk much anymore cos she’s got so little energy or something. I was extremely close to tears when he was telling me all that. I just had no idea. He said she’s got about a month left, I think. It’s awful.

Before he went, Hugo made me promise not to tell Jake he phoned me and not to mention anything he’d told me to anyone, even Hayley. I didn’t tell Hayley but I mentioned it briefly to Abby when I got in this morning.

Although, Hayley (of course) immediately wanted to know what Hugo had been saying once I’d hung up. I said that he’d mentioned Jake’s mum not being too good cos Hayley knew that anyway. Actually, she told me that Jake had told her that he’s been taking his sister to the stables because his mum can’t drive her anymore. I don’t know if Hayley asks these things but she always seems to know more about everything than I do.

Anyway, I’m quite glad Hugo did ring really cos he’s answered a few questions that I didn’t want to ask, even if it did mean lack of sleep for me.

This morning, I sent Jake a message asking how he was and saying that Hayley said she’d been dreaming about going to Durham. I also asked how my fleece is! He replied, “I’M OK! WHY DID SHE GO TO DURHAM?? YOUR FLEECE IS FINE! – I’M TAKING GOOD CARE OF IT! (IT’S SOOO WARM!!) WISH YOU WERE IN IT THOUGH!! LOTS + LOTS OF LOVE!! xJx : )”.

I was on the internet for 3 hours tonight talking to Hugo! His screen name on AOL is HGPRTTUK. While he was chatting to me he was also on the phone to Jake for 2 hours! His phone bills must be huge!! Nothing of much interest came out of the conversation.

I also chatted to Rhian (my cousin) online and filled her in about Jake. She’s apparently seeing someone called Mack who’s a mate of Duncan’s. I’ve not idea who the Mack lad is!

Got a couple of messages off Jake tonight. I’d told him that I might have to go for a meal for my mum’s birthday next Saturday when I’m meant to be staying over at Sarah’s. I told him I’d do my best to get to Sarah’s though and asked about my fleece again! He said, “YOU BETTER DO YOUR BEST! : ) I CAN’T SLEEP WHEN WE ARE APART SO I’M NOT GOING TO WHEN I’M WITH YOU! ARE YOU PARANOID? YOUR LOVELY FLEECE IS JUST FINE!! LOVE xJx”.

I then told him I hoped that we wouldn’t just be awake at Sarah’s due to thinking about each other and he said, “OF COURSE IT WILL BE A DIFFERENT REASON FOR NOT SLEEPING! : ) MY MIND WILL BE THINKING ABOUT LOTS OF DIFFERENT THINGS – ALL INVOVING YOU!!! LOVE YOU TO BITS! xJx”. I’m not entirely sure what he meant by that but I have an idea!

Bye!

We started flashing our underwear – 20th May 2000

Saturday 20th We all thought last night was going to be really crap but it turned out to be quite good!

Jake’s dad dropped him, Gethin and Hayley off at my house (Sarah was already here) and we just sat about for a while, waiting for a bus to take us to The Dog. I let Jake in my bedroom while I looked for something, even though it’s a complete tip! He said he thought his room was bad until he saw mine! Thanks!! I just had to keep explaining that it’s only a mess cos I’ve not had time to tidy it recently!

We snogged on the landing outside my bedroom door before going back downstairs to get the bus.

I showed them some little drawing my dad had done of someone stabbing the little cartoon taxman on some leaflet which they found amusing. We were then talking about names. Jake said that if he’d been a girl he’d have been called Abby and I told him I was nearly called Clara. They’re our sister’s names! Then we discovered that the 19th June is Jake’s mum’s birthday and it’s my dad’s birthday too! We’ve decided we were destined for each other!

When we arrived at The Dog it was really busy and we were greeted with a hug off Matt Carrera! We sent Jake off to get drinks and we found a seat. When he came back, he told me that Matt had said I’m “a bit of a piece” and that he used to fancy me at primary school! That’s odd cos I went through a stage of fancying him at primary school too when I used to walk round to school with him, Zoe and Megan Quinn!

There was a point when we started flashing our underwear at each other! Jake had Tommy Hilfiger undies on!

We had a good long conversation with each other about stuff. I mentioned about going to Huddersfield and asked him what he thought about us going to the same place. He likes the idea and told me that quite a few of the couples in his year are going to the same universities. He then started telling me that you’re allowed mixed quarters there!

He told me that he was going to do photography and also looked at the environment courses or something but has now definitely decided on architecture.

Skiing and Canada came up again as usual. He’s only actually been skiing 3 times before. I thought he’d been more than that. He said that he only decided to go to Canada because there was no reason for him to stay here but he doesn’t want to go as much now cos of me. He said if we’d have got together earlier he might only have gone for 7 weeks or not at all.

Then we started talking about how long we’d liked each other for. I said I’d liked him since the October LA Bowl trip but, in actual fact, I’ve only liked him on and off since then. He said he liked me before that trip but didn’t say when.

Lara Beale then got into the conversation. I think he said she’s the only other proper girlfriend he’s had but I’m not sure. He was telling me that it was totally different between them than it is between us because he only really fancied her. He said he was never this soppy with her!

He said he’s never been in love before, until me! He also told me that he doesn’t ever want to split up and he can’t ever see himself with anyone other than me. I told him the same thing cos, at the moment, it’s perfectly true! I’m pretty sure I do love him now! I don’t think I could possibly like him any more than I do now!

We ended up walking back to Hayley’s village to walk her home but I didn’t mind. We stopped off at my house to get Hayley a pair of trainers and a jumper and Jake my blue Fila fleece. It looked really nice on him! He kept telling me it was really nice because it smelled of me.

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Jake robbing my Fila fleece.

The other 3 got quite far ahead cos Jake and I kept stopping to kiss. We stopped on Crow Bridge and then by the railings on the corner before Crofters Lane. While we were kissing there, we could hear some bird or something squeaking in the field so we used that as an excuse to go through the path in the trees to find out what it was! [It’ll have been an oystercatcher.] We stopped in the field on the other side of the little bridge and kissed and hugged for ages.

He said he didn’t understand why I liked him and told me that he’s not sure why he first started liking me and said he only really noticed what a nice figure I had and how nice looking I was when he started going out with me. I’m not sure whether to be flattered about that or not! I think he meant it in a nice way!

I kept getting phone calls off Sarah telling us to hurry up (when in actual fact she wanted us to take our time so she could get longer with Gethin!) cos Hayley wanted to get home.

The next place we stopped was by the layby outside school. I had really cold hands so I put them up his shirt to keep them warm. I’ve discovered he’s very ticklish!

We met Sarah and Gethin by the bench outside school on the corner near Wythenshaw Lane. By then I had my hands down the front of his trousers but only at the top (not near anything!) to stop him complaining I was tickling him! Unfortunately, the taxi was quick to arrive. We sat in the back and Sarah sat in the front so we could hold hands. He ended up resting my hand near the top of his leg but, of course, on the outside of his clothes!

When I got in the house after saying goodbye to Jake, Sarah told me she’d snogged Gethin so was pleased we’d been taking our time walking towards them. Then Abby got in from her night out in town. She’s deliriously happy because Chris T from kickboxing was there and she snogged him and he’s given her his phone number and said to ring him at 2:00pm on Monday! He lives on Pig Lane in Woolston.

I got some nice messages off Jake when I got in bed. He sent the first one saying it’s been a good night so I sent him one agreeing and saying at least we got to be alone for a bit and he said, “I KNOW! BUT WITHOUT THE NETTLES! OH AND COLD HANDS! I KNOW I SAY THIS EVERY WEEK BUT I WANT YOU IN MY BED NOW!! P.S. YOU’RE NOT GETTING THIS FLEECE BACK! LOVE xJx”.

I asked why I’m not getting it back and he said, “COS I’M NICE AND WARM NOW! (NOT AS WARM AS IF YOU WERE HERE!) AND IT SMELLS NICE AND REMINDS ME OF YOU! CAN’T WAIT FOR SARAH’S N GETHIN’S SLEEPOVERS! (WITHOUT SLEEP) xJx”.

I asked what he was planning to do instead of sleeping and he replied, “OH THIS AND THAT! : ) I WANT TO BE WITH YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND WANT TO HOLD YOU AND TOUCH YOU ALL THE TIME! KEEPING WARM IS ONE OF THE MANY BENEFITS : ) xJx”.

This morning, I woke up to find my phone in my hand with a half written message to Jake on the screen! I must have fallen asleep mid-message! I sent him a message telling him that and asking how he was and if I’ll get my fleece back. He replied, “AAH YOU’RE SO CUTE! I’M FINE! : ) IN FACT I’M MORE THAN FINE – I’M REALLY HAPPY! : ) THIS WEEK’S BEEN REALLY GOOD – WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF EACH OTHER! I’LL THINK ABOUT IT! xJx”. I think he means he’ll think about giving me my fleece back!

I’ve remembered other stuff about last night. He kept making really happy sort of sighing noises whenever we were on our own or kissing and he kept putting his finger on my nose every time I put my hands on his back or said something cheeky and stuff. Oh God, he’s so nice!!

The other weird coincidence was that Jake and I used to ride the same horse at the riding stables. It was called Taffy. I did it when I was at primary school though but he did at high school.

Bye!

We could tell he was pissed – 19th May 2000

Friday 19th All the Year 11s and College 2s left officially today so we stole the comfy chairs out of their downstairs common room and put them in ours!

I really don’t want Jake to leave college cos I’ve got so used to seeing him every day and I won’t anymore. I saw him this morning (he was wearing that lovely pink shirt that he won’t admit is pink!) but he went to The Coach and Horses with all his mates in the afternoon (fair enough) but then he came back towards the end of the day cos he had to get the school bus home cos he’d not brought his car cos he knew he’d be drinking!

He just came and sat in our room with us for a bit but we could tell he was pissed cos he couldn’t quite sit up straight and had to keep leaning on me! He also let me paint his nails again! He said he likes me doing it but he just doesn’t like the after effects!

He said he’s still got the present that Hayley and I gave him yesterday hanging in his car. He said his dad’s seem it and thought it was good but he didn’t tell him what each part represented. He told his sister though and she thought it was cool! Hmmm!

When the bell went for the end of school, he wouldn’t go! He just hung on to me saying “kiss” until I gave him one! I got up to get my bag and he hung on to my waist and cuddled me from behind and just said, “Love you”. He’s sooo sweet!

We’ve arranged to go to The Dog tonight so I’ll write about that tomorrow.

Bye!