EVERYTHING was magnolia – 22nd September 2002

Sunday 22nd  Jonas moved into his student house on Monday. His address is:

12 Belmont Street

He came over to our house for a bit. We were painting so it was a bit of a mess. I don’t think he was all that impressed. I’m not surprised after seeing his house.

After painting my room yellow, I decided to go round to Jonas’s. I have to say I’m slightly jealous. It’s more like a hotel than a student house! It’s very, very nice and pretty big. There are 8 bedrooms, 2 showers, 2 toilets, a living room, a basement, a utility room and a very big kitchen with everything in it. It’s all brand new as well because they’re the first lot to live in it since it’s been done up.

I wanted to stay with him that night but we decided we’d better stay with our housemates. I got a message from him when I was in bed though, asking me to tell him to come to my bed. It was a bit too late unfortunately.

I finished painting my room on Tuesday so Archie and I started painting the coving, cupboards and ceiling white in the kitchen and living room. Jen now works at Argos in Leeds so she wasn’t there much to help. She’s been painting her room lilac. We decided to do stuff white because EVERYTHING was magnolia. It got to the point when even the wooden handles on the kitchen cupboards made a nice change! If it’s possible to have magnoliamadness, we had it.

Archie and I went shopping for house stuff and nearly died of exhaustion dragging all the stuff back from town, up the steps on the hill and to our house. We bought things like throws for the dead-looking sofa. It all looks much better now.

We’ve not had heating yet and it’s quite cold. The gasman came on Monday, messed up the carpet with oily stuff (so we’ve named him Gary the Twat), told us he couldn’t find the pressure release valve and he’d come back the next day. One Tuesday 2 of them came and still couldn’t find it. Apparently it’ll be 7-10 days for the part to arrive. Oh joy.

[Attempting to keep warm]

I stayed at Jonas’s on his futon (is that how you spell it?!) bed on Tuesday night. It’s not very comfy. It was nice being with Jonas though.

We went all artistic on Wednesday and started drawing our weather map of the British Isles on the living room wall. Well, I did it actually. I put a grid over an atlas map and Archie and Jonas gridded the wall. Using the map, I then drew it onto the wall. It looks good so far and it’s damn accurate.

Archie and I started painting it the next day. I did the detailed bits round the edges and Archie did the big bits. It was finished by Friday. It looks sooo good! I’m very, very pleased with it. I’ll be gutted if they paint over it next year. It looks like we’ve stuck it on, not drawn and painted it ourselves. All we need now is the weather symbols. Mum said she’ll laminate them so I’ll do some on the computer soon.

I had to talk about stuff with Jonas on Thursday. He stayed at mine. I’ve been a bit paranoid about us being ‘comfortable’ because that’s the point when Jake got bored and I don’t want the same happening. Jonas and I both like it though so that’s good. We don’t have to be nervous or worry about how much we like each other because we know. 🙂 We know each other better and have the ‘friend’ thing at the same time. I think I annoyed him a bit because I’ve been jokingly suspicious of his housemate Vicky who he’s started to call ‘Vic’.

As Jonas was leaving on Friday morning, he was talking to Jen about how it’s difficult to nick Ford cards because she said she couldn’t see Jonas’s. He explained it was behind the wall but when he went to get in Betty (the car), she had gone and there was glass everywhere. He was very upset. Jen has a Ford Fiesta too but hers is alarmed and Betty wasn’t. Poor Jonas.

Kevin moved in yesterday. Woohoo. Jonas had a bbq at his so we all went round there. It was quite good. I spoke to Katy that night too. She moved into her house this weekend. We all went to Milton Hall Student Union after the bbq. Jonas’s mate Pierced Sam has his latest piercing in the back of his neck.

We stayed in bed until 1pm-ish today, just talking and cuddling. Jonas said he can imagine being with me for a long time. He said he’ll try not to let us split up next year when he gets a job and I do my work placement.

Jonas said he’s told Pierced Sam and his other housemate, Uriel, that we’ve never really fallen our and they were shocked. We think it’s good and nice. We don’t even annoy each other. Even my mates annoy me sometimes. 🙂


I had a horrible, horrible feeling – 9th September 2002

Sunday 9th  On Monday, Jonas took me to Findhorn beach and then Roseisle beach. Ross came with us and was telling me about his uni course and stuff. He’s training to be a primary school teacher. The beaches were really nice. Ross said the singer in his band has been taking photos round there to put on their album cover.

I like the sea. It sort of scared me at the same time though. I’d hate to fall in because it’s so deep and powerful and you don’t know what’s underneath you. I’d like to live near the sea one day though. I like just watching it, especially when it’s stormy because it’s far more exciting then.

That evening, a small group of us went onto the sand dunes at Findhorn and had a bonfire. There was me and Jonas, Callum, Emma, Flan, Andrew and a couple of others. There’s one lad they call Will (but that’s not his name) and his face really makes me smile. He’s got big curly hair, wide eyes, round face and is always grinning. He said he’s just finished working in Nantwich for a year which is near where I live.

One lad kept disappearing to find wood. We didn’t see him for ages then he turned up with half a tree. Jonas tried to help him move it but walked backwards into a ditch and fell over! It was pretty dark.

On Tuesday, Jonas took me to Wick to see my family. I’ve been there every year of my life but never without Mum, Dad and Abby. The journey wasn’t bad except a bee flew in the car and landed on Jonas’s lap after bouncing off his face!

It was weird being in Wick with Jonas but very nice seeing everyone. Rhian was off school with a cold which was lucky because there was nobody else in. Tom and Minnie eventually came back from school and Auntie S came home from work. She looks really thin because of a thyroid thing but still seemed cheerful.

Jonas wanted to see Sinclair and Girnigoe Castle at Noss Head because he’d seen it on my photos. I showed him the lighthouse there which I stayed in last summer. We took my cousins with us so Jonas leapt round the ruins (scaring me!) and Minnie and I stood and watched rather than go down into the dark bits with Jonas and Rhian. Auntie S said Minnie must like him because she keeps talking about him!

On Wednesday, Jonas and I went up to John o’Groats. We stood at the harbour and watched some seals then looked round some old croft buildings. Jonas said he wants to do them up and sell them. They could be really nice.

[Harbour selfie]

We stayed at Auntie S’s for tea then said goodbye. I didn’t want to go. I would like to have stayed longer but it was better than not seeing them at all. On the way out of Wick, I went to the cemetery to see Grandma L. I managed to find her grave quite easily. I ended up getting all upset because I felt really sad, especially when I read what the headstone said. It was, “To live in hearts we leave behind, is not to die”. That’s a nice thing to say. We also stopped to see seals on the way back and at Tesco. Fun!

On Thursday and Friday, Jonas took me crab fishing at Findhorn. We caught some pretty big ones with just a string and bacon. I really enjoyed it! It’s a shame I can’t do it in Huddersfield.

Fiona (Jonas’s mate) had a sauna party at her house. It was a bit boring until Binny (Stephen) started talking to us. Everyone else kind of ignored me. Jonas said his mum and sister think I’m quiet so his mates probably do too.

Yesterday, Jonas and I had a lie in. I didn’t want a shower with him so we had a talk about me being self-conscious. I can’t help it! I had a horrible, horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach like I got when Jake dumped me. It was an awful sort of splitting-up dread and I went really hot and couldn’t breathe properly. We didn’t fall out or anything, it was just that I realised we’re quite different. I’m shy, he isn’t so I thought that might be a bad thing.

I got over the nasty feeling eventually. I’m very, very, very glad we didn’t split up because I love Jonas sooooo much! 🙂

It was Forres Theme Day or something so we went into town and had a look at all the old cars lining the streets and watched the pipe band with Ross and Murray (I think that’s what he’s called!) in it. We went to the pub with Jonas’s lot that evening. It was good because people spoke to me. Callum said I’m beautiful and Binny said I’m nice! Cool! Binny’s girlfriend’s from Preston and Flan’s girlfriend’s from The Wirral, both near me. That’s quite weird!

There was some creep in the chippy and taxi rank who was saying stuff about me. I don’t know what exactly but he was pointing me out to his mate. I should’ve lamped him!

When we got back to Kinloss, I looked at the sky and saw what I thought was light from the moon coming out from behind a cloud. When I got out of the taxi, I saw it was all over the sky and was greening and moving. I eventually realised what it was….. the aurora borealis! I’ve ALWAYS wanted to see the Northern Lights! I saw them with Jonas as well so I see that as a really nice thing. I’m glad he was there too so I had someone to get all excited at!

Today we travelled back to Gainsborough. The journey seemed to last for ages but we got back in the end. I decided to stay the night so he didn’t have to go all the way to Warrington too. We did stuff. I’m so glad I’m with him!


It was horrible saying bye to Mum just in case I died – 18th August 2002

Sunday 18th  Work was as boring as usual this week, although I did get to do a lot of plans. I got told I was good at doing them and it must be genetic cos my dad does good plans. Malcolm said I “draw mean plans” twice as fast as Dad but I doubt they’re as good cos he knows what he’s doing and I don’t really!

Rosie came back to work this week. She’s who I was replacing for a while. She’s going to do teacher training in Hull but had to come back for 3 weeks which she owes them. She seems nice. I got to go out on site this week too which was quite good. It was dye tracing in drains at a school in Harthill, Cheshire.

Jonas said he might be working at Reading Festival with Paul. He sounded really disappointed when I said I could only “probably” go to Scotland with him. He said I’ve got to go. I do want to but it depends on the house thing. I spoke to Jonas again on Wednesday and I was worrying about our student house, Reading and stuff. I then worried that he’s probably go off me for worrying.

My mates and I did the pub quiz on Wednesday as well. We won 2 bottles of wine.

On Friday, I woke up feeling very ill. I had a temperature and just felt generally rough. This worried me greatly because once we got back to the office after being out on site on Tuesday, Malcolm told me and Darren that he’s seen rats about. He said to be cautious if we felt fluey in about 3 days because we’d been around the drains and sewage works. Shiiiit!!

I went to Jonas’s anyway, hoping it was just a 24 hour bug. It was horrible saying bye to Mum just in case I died of Weil’s disease. I felt like I was going to pass out on the train. I’d taken some Panadol but it just made me feel numb.

Jonas was very worried about me when I explained. He wanted to take me to casualty but I refused because I would’ve felt stupid and wasted people’s time had it been nothing. Instead, I rang NHS Direct. The nurse who rang back said I could have leptospirosis and to see a doctor as soon as I could.

Jonas’s mum was very kind and let us have her bed. They were all being really nice to me and I felt guilty for being a burden. I hope they don’t catch anything!

I felt better yesterday. My temperature had gone but I had a sore throat with white bits on my tonsils to replace it. Jonas still wanted me to see a doctor but I didn’t. We went to Lincoln for the day and it was very hot. I had no energy so we didn’t stay long but it was a nice day. I bought Archie a horse posing pouch that neighs for his birthday from Ann Summers. He said he measures up to ‘stallion’ on a chart we have so I thought it was fitting!

I really wanted a snog from Jonas all day but due to me being ill, I didn’t get one.

I felt better still this morning. I’ve decided to go home tomorrow though. Jonas and I went for a walk along the river and then had a drive. We did some “stuff” when we got back to Jonas’s and I got lots of snogs. 🙂

Jonas is a bit worried about his resit tomorrow.


He just has to add something slightly pervy – 11th August 2002

Sunday 11th  I got paid £262.50 for working at Tor on Monday. That was nice because I was bored again for most of the week. Last week I was asked to post brochures to the people who are being interviewed this week. I’d had trouble getting them in the post box cos they were too big so I kind of bent them and shoved them in. I’d been worried they’d got stuck at the top of the post box and nobody would get them.

Well, on Tuesday, Malcolm told me they had arrived but everyone had had to pay £1.50 because they were too heavy for a 1st class stamp. Oops! Nobody told me and I had asked Janet and she said to send them 1st class so I though that’s what she meant!

Some bloke told Malcolm I was a “nice young lady” too because I’d been helpful on the phone. That made me feel less stupid and thick!

Jonas has made me some CD racks at work. I thought I’d better get him stuff from my work so I filled up an envelope full of paperclips and elastic bands and stuff. 🙂

I texted loads of people from uni while I was bored at work but not many people replied. I’d been in touch with Katy already but other than her, only Violet and Sally replied. Vi said she’s passed all her exams and wants to go back to uni and stop working. Sally said, “Helloooo” at the start of hers (maybe she’s not heard from many people!) and told me she’s in Cornwall at the moment. Kevin also replied later on and told me he’s working for his mum and trying to lose his beer belly. Yuck! He repulses me sooo much!!

I missed Jonas all this week really badly and couldn’t wait to see him. He keeps telling me he loves me 🙂 mmm! I went to Gainsborough on Friday but missed my connection in Sheffield by seconds. That meant I had to wait an hour but it was very, very, very nice seeing Jonas when I eventually arrived. We went to bed quite early and did stuff.

Yesterday, Jonas drive us to Huddersfield. We saw our houses again. My room looks so bloody small! When we got back to Jonas’s, we watched Lord of the Rings then went downstairs and sat in the dimmed light and cuddled, listening to Lene Marlin’s album Playing My Game. It was very nice. It was all perfect and lovely and was one of those times I didn’t want to end.

Jonas said he was trying to be romantic and wanted to dance with me. We basically just cuddled standing up instead. He said he wishes he could come home to me after work. 🙂 He then said he wanted to lie naked in a big silky bed. Typical Jonas! He just has to add something slightly pervy! 🙂 I didn’t want to leave and he didn’t want me to go.

Today, Jonas mentioned going up to Forres (and maybe Wick for a bit) in September. I really want to go but I’m worried about it clashing with moving into our house in Huddersfield.

We went to Meadowhall in Sheffield for a bit and Laura was sick. Nice. It’s not as good as the Trafford Centre.

I really hate leaving Jonas and he really didn’t want me to go. I got him to a text from him with “Love u” at the end. 🙂


He said it was just hormones – 7th July 2002

Sunday 7th  I went to Mum’s primary school this week to help her with the visits from the children going to into her class next year. That’s about all I’ve done actually.

On Friday I got the train to Lincoln to see Jonas again. I avoided the Huddersfield route but ended up getting stuck in Sheffield for an hour after a train there made toilet stops at each station because the train loos were broken. I got to Gainsborough eventually and Jonas was waiting on the platform. He gave me a kiss and asked for a hug and was very smiley. I’d been pissed off when I spoke to him on the phone because of the trains but he didn’t seem to care.

When we arrived at his auntie’s house, we watched the film Road Trip and got up to level 5. Yesterday we walked into Gainsborough but there’s not much to do. We went to sleep for a bit and then Jonas asked me if I had any secretary-style clothes. Jonas sighed (nicely) and when I asked why, he said it was because he’s “content like this”. It was very nice. 🙂 He bleached his hair yesterday as well but it didn’t go too blonde which I’m quite glad about!

Jonas’s cousin Emma came round with baby Joseph and Jonas was really sweet with him He’s really cute.

Jonas told me lots that he loves me and missed me when I wasn’t with him.

We went to Jonas’s mum’s for Sunday lunch today. We then went back to his auntie’s to check the train times and dye Jonas’s hair red. I’ve ended up with red streaks in mine too cos Jonas persuaded me to let him put some in. He said he loves me and didn’t want me to go.

I got in a slight strop/panic cos I thought I was going to miss my train (I didn’t) but he said it didn’t matter. He’s really good when it comes to putting up with any moods I get into! He said last week’s huff didn’t matter either cos it was just hormones. At least he realised why it was. Most lads probably wouldn’t. He’s very understanding.

I do enjoy being with Jonas on my own in a whole house. It’s really nice. 🙂 When I got home, I had an email from him and I phoned him to say night night.


Love rats and trust – 9th & 16th June 2002

Sunday 9th  Jonas stayed at mine all this week cos he’s moved all his stuff out of his house and to his mum’s. I really like having him at mine all the time but I kept snapping at him for things like eating all my food. I think I’m a little bit worried about exams etc., I don’t really mean to do it.

I had a Water Science and a Microbiology exam this week. The Water Science one was okay but Microbiology was really hard. It was multiple choice but I couldn’t do it. I’m gonna have to rely on luck!

I went out on Thursday to Bar Non. It was very boring. I got a hug off one off Jill Baines but there was nobody else out really.

Jonas keeps saying he loves me! 🙂 I really don’t want him to go home. It’s going to be horrible not seeing him as much.


Sunday 16th  Jonas went home this week so he can start his job in the woodyard. Before he left, we did stuff. He wanted to leave me something to remember him by but I don’t think I’m going to forget him! It doesn’t feel like I won’t see him for ages. We said goodbye at uni in the car with lots of hugs and kisses. I’m going to miss him so much! I do already.

Violet left this week as well so I’m not entirely sure who’s left now because I never see them.

We went out for Kevin’s birthday on Tuesday but it wasn’t all that exciting. I got upset when I got back to my flat cos I missed Jonas so much. I didn’t think he was going to ring but he did. He’s just been fixing his car and might be back on the 25th. He said he misses me and loves me and he hugged the phone and blew kisses down it! 🙂

Some gimp of a lad who was wearing a matching shirt to his friends came up to me in Warehouse and lifted my chin and said something about turning my frown upside-down. Hazel said the look of disgust on my face was funny. She asked me to go to the cinema tomorrow too. I felt really guilty for some reason. I felt like I shouldn’t be dressed up so things like lads coming on to me wouldn’t happen. I wouldn’t cheat on Jonas but even people coming on to me when he’s not there makes me feel bad, even though it’s not my fault.

I had my last exam on Thursday then Jonas rang me. He said he really misses me now but he didn’t as much before. I told him some creepy lad came on to me because he asked if anyone had. I then asked if he trusted me (I’d been watching Trisha about love rats and trust) but saying that probably made him suspicious. I just want him to know I’d never do anything and I want him to say the same.  I trust him anyway. Ooh, I love Jonas! 🙂

The stage which I’m going to miss Wheatus playing on went up right outside my bloody window on Friday. I’m sooo pissed off! I want to go to the Summer Ball, not on a crappy fieldtrip to Wales.

Jonas started work. He said he’s tired but it was easy and ok. He told me he’s been “bored” twice and was getting excited when I mentioned no knickers and dancing naked in the rain! He said he might get “bored” again! He told me he really does miss me now and he’ll worry something’s happened if I don’t ring from Wales. He said he loves me 🙂 mmm! I really love him and miss him too!


Just giving him certain looks may cause trouble – 26th May 2002

Sunday 26th  On Monday, I had a night out to Camel Club. Jonas was there too with his mates and a load of curly Scouser wigs. Paul, Dave and Mitch were all being really nice to me and Paul even hugged me at one point. Geeky Sid however didn’t really speak to me so I didn’t bother trying to make an effort cos when he’s pissed he always turns EVERYTHING I say into something bad and he sulks.

Jonas was pretty drunk too and had a stern word with me about being nice to Sid before I’d even seen him. Apparently I don’t always have to say anything, just giving him certain looks may cause trouble. Great. I’d better get a mask or something. Jonas was pissed so I didn’t take him being all serious too seriously and he did say later he didn’t mean it to sound like he was having a go at me. Before we left we spent ages searching for Jonas’s wig cos some girl nicked it off him and wouldn’t have it back til he bought her a drink. He didn’t. 🙂

Jonas stayed at mine afterwards and we had our most serious disagreement yet but it was nothing really, it’s just we haven’t really had one before. We were just lying in bed and he was basically not seeing how me not talking to Sid is the best thing to do. If I speak to him it’s even worse. Jonas said I should at least try and I pointed out that I had but it didn’t work. Jonas ended up getting a bit upset cos he said he didn’t want there to be tension between his mate and his girlfriend. I felt guilty then (even though it’s not my fault) so we made up.

Archie, Dave, Jonas and I all had a trip to the cinema on Tuesday night to see Dog Soldiers and Star Wars. They were both very good but Dog Soldiers was better. I did miss some of it though due to hiding behind my knees!

Archie and I were bored on Wednesday night so we went and joined Ben and his mates in Milton. It was quite good actually, considering I don’t know many of them very well. Ben told me that I’m “well happy now” and that he likes it. He used to say I was a bit miserable but I explained that it was probably Kevin’s fault! They all convinced Archie and I to go to Warehouse with them but I went to find Jonas who was working in the computer rooms til about midnight.

Thursday was quite a good night for Archie, Hazel and her new boyfriend Mike and I. We all went out. We started in Wetherspoons where some of Mike’s flatmates were. I got told that a lad called Kav (who I actually thought was quite nice when I’ve seen him around halls) fancied me. They were being evil and not telling him I had a boyfriend even though I told them they should. I wasn’t interested any more now I’ve got loverly Jonas. 🙂 Mmm!

Anyway, there was also a girl called Emma with them and she said she fancied Archie. Once we got into Bar Non, everyone was forcing them together and it actually worked. They ended up snogging loads in front of everyone. That left me as a bit of a gooseberry. I had one last wander round and saw Dave who seemed pleased to see me (I think he was pissed!) and Jake who told me Connor’s invited him to Abby’s 18th party. I then got picked up by Jonas which I was glad about.

Archie went out with Emma the next night to the cinema. The same night, a load of uni publicity people came to our flat with the Skool Disko flyers. I’m famous!

This weekend I’ve been with Jonas nearly all of the time, watching the F1 together and stuff. We’ve been together for exactly 6 MONTHS today. How good is that?! 🙂


I really, really didn’t want to dump him – 5th May 2002

Sunday 5th  Since I last wrote in here, quite a bit has happened. On 25th April, my flatmate Layla went out for her birthday. She had a large gathering at the flat first before we all made our way into town. I hung round with Violet, Ronan, Vi’s mate Jo and his coursemate Max cos we didn’t really know many of Layla’s friends and some were pretty slapperish and annoying.

Jonas was supposed to meet me at some point but the first time I phoned him he was still in Sharkey’s with his mate Mitch so I went on ahead to Bar Non. At about midnight, I got a voicemail message from Jonas saying a drunken, “I love you!” and stuff with Mitch in the background but when I tried to ring him back, I kept getting his answer service. I kept trying but couldn’t get hold of him so I went back to Storthes without him.

I was a bit worried when I got back about where he’d got to but I eventually managed to get through and he just said, “Hello?” in a really dozy way before it cut off. I thought I’d woken him up at first but then I got another 2 voicemails saying, “I won’t to be able to stay with you, sorry.” I could tell he was crying so I was very, very worried and upset.

The only thing I could think of as to why he hadn’t met me or answered his phone and sounded upset was that he’d snogged someone else cos he was drunk. I couldn’t really believe he’d do that but then I couldn’t think of another explanation. Him being hurt didn’t cross my mind but then I thought he would’ve told me. However, I was wrong.

After sitting on my floor in tears, throwing my phone about in frustration and even trying to ring his housemate Russell, Jonas eventually sent me a text saying, “I’M IN HOSPITAL GETTING MY HEAD CHECKED” and that was it. My immediate reaction was relief cos he hadn’t cheated on me, then guilt for even considering that he had and then panic again cos I didn’t know what had happened to him. Before the text, I’d be worrying about what to do if he told me he’d snogged a girl. I really, really didn’t want to dump him but I thought I’d have to and that really upset me cos I didn’t want to be without him.

I eventually got a phone call from Jonas saying he’d been beaten up. He sounded very upset so that made me cry even more. He said he’d see me tomorrow and explain but I really couldn’t sleep for tears and worrying.

The next day after much more worrying, I got to see Jonas when he came round. He was all cut and bruised and very tired and a bit confused. He told me it was 5 lads that did it. He’d been in Warehouse and dancing a lot and apparently girls were watching him so some bloke shoved him and he shoved back. They got chucked out but the bouncers gave Mitch and Jonas a head start. The lad and his mates managed to catch up with them by the new Kingsgate Centre and Jonas pinned one down and said he didn’t want a fight.

The lad was obviously embarrassed by being overpowered by someone wearing a “I’m not a bitch, I’m THE Bitch and that’s Miss Bitch to you” t-shirt so he fought anyway. Jonas ended up being kicked in the head for about 5 minutes but luckily it was all on security camera and the police turned up and arrested 3 of the lads. I’m sooo glad he’s alright cos even the police said it looked really nasty. He was lucky. Mind you, even with head injuries we got to level 5!

That weekend I was with Jonas all the time. We watched the F1 together and went to the Arb with Archie and his brother. We also got to level 5 twice in the same night.

The next time I went to Bar Non was a better night than the previous time. It didn’t take much though! Archie was trying to pull a girl called Natalie but was let down and was upset about it. I got dragged round by Hazel all night trying to find some lad called Simon. We eventually did and he lives with Bronwen’s brother at Primrose Hill. Bronwen’s bro (Tom, I think) tried to get me to go back to his house but, obviously, I refused. I had a few lads pinching my arse too. I wanted Jonas there.

I was going to go to a Mansun gig with Jonas in Manchester but I couldn’t in the end cos Pierced Sam was taking his girlfriend instead. Jonas brought be back a t-shirt though which was sweet. 🙂

I had a worry about me and Jonas again while I was watching Teachers because someone said if you have to ask if it’s ok, it might not be. However, I then realised I was just being stupid and insecure because I do love him and I don’t want to be without him. I’ve been through reasons about Easter and I think my brain might just be preparing me for the worst, just in case something happens e.g. an “Emma” and he goes off me. I’ve got to trust he won’t though cos I know he loves me and he’s not Jake, thankfully, cos everything went wrong with him. I prefer Jonas too!

I went to Gainsborough with Jonas today so he could clear his dad’s garage out. I actually enjoyed it quite a lot. We talked about my year work experience and Jonas said he’ll come with me for it if it’s far away 🙂 but he said it’d be awful not living together when we got back. True. I hope we’re still together then, I really do.


He’s only 80% sure I love him – 23rd April 2002 – Part 3

Tuesday 23rd continued  I came back to Huddersfield the evening of my test after stopping and seeing Auntie G and Grandma on the way back. Grandma’s back at home again now with more home help.

I phoned Jonas when my dad left my halls and he came round pretty soon after. It was pretty weird seeing him at first. We just had lots of hugs and little kisses. It was nice though. Jonas said he had to keep pinching himself and said he missed me and loves me. It was sooo good seeing him again. Mmm! 🙂

That weekend I went with Jonas back to Gainsborough because his dad’s moving house and Jonas had to check the house was okay while his dad’s in the Falklands. The house is very nice. We went to Lincoln with his sister and drove around a lot taking keys to various people.

Everyone was very nice to me again. Jonas’s mum let us have her bed which I thought was very kind and trusting! We did get up to level 5 in it but stopped before anything happened. Jonas said he just wanted to lie there naked with me. It’s the first time we’ve shared a proper, comfy double bed!

When I got back to Huddersfield, I got to my 2nd lecture to be told I failed my Statistics tests by 2 marks. Grr!! I’ve got to resit it and the most I can get is 40%. I also saw Jonas for the 1st time in Huddersfield when he hasn’t been with me. We were in the Kingsgate Centre with our mates.

That Monday night, I had quite a good night in Camel. Jonas was very pissed and was putting on Jen’s eyeliner and lip gloss. Bronwen said Jonas is a “wicked dancer” as he moshed about on his own on the dancefloor. I briefly saw Jake who pecked me on the cheek and congratulated me on passing my driving test and saw loads of other people I knew.

I left early with Jonas and he came back to mine. For some reason he said he’s only 80% sure I love him as much as he loves me cos of Jake and Archie. I don’t know why cos I do! It’s scared me cos I don’t want him to think that. Jonas also said he’d marry me if he could but he doesn’t want to scare me. I’m not scared 🙂 I like that idea (but obviously not now)! He said he wants to be with me forever. 🙂 Mmm!

The next day, Jonas said he only said the 80% thing cos he was pissed but he does want to marry me and have babies with me (EEK! to the 2nd bit! It looks horrible!). He said he always wondered why people get engaged at uni and now he knows. It’ll be more special than it is already if he ends up being my longest lasting boyfriend. I hope he is!

Since then I’ve been quite busy. I’ve been out quite a few times and had houses to sort out etc. I’ve been to the cinema to see Bend It Like Beckham and Oceans 11 which were both very good.

I also went out to Bar Non which was an okay night. I was pretty drunk!

I might’ve given him food poisoning – 22nd to 24th March 2002

Friday 22nd  I was at Jonas’s today. We were in bed for quite a while We got to level 5 but he ignored me so I was in a bit of a mood for a while. I snapped out of it cos it’s not really his fault and I felt mean.

We had a walk round Greenhead Park for a while which was nice and watched people on the skate park.


Saturday 23rd  Jonas came back to mine today. We got bored though because most people have gone home so we decided to go for a walk in the woods with a picnic. It’s really nice there and there’s a river which we followed. It was fun climbing trees and hills and stuff and trying to spot magpies cos Jonas reckons he’s never seen one in Britain. When we got back to Storthes we lay in a field for a bit, completely knackered after climbing a hill. It was nice.

Tonight, Jonas felt really ill. I think I might’ve given him food poisoning with lasagne. He felt sick and stuff but said it helped when I rubbed his tummy. He was worrying me though cos he was breathing funny and stopped breathing altogether sometimes.

He’s taken some photos of me off my wall and my Miffy bag to take home with him. He said it’s weird how we met and have stuff like music etc. in common.


Sunday 24th  I don’t want to not see Jonas for 3 weeks. I wasn’t sure how much I’d miss him last night but I will miss him sooo much. I love Jonas! We kept telling each other we love each other and hugging and saying we’ll miss us. I got in his car before he went and he said he’ll write a song for me (cool!) and told me he never used to be as happy as he is now because of me! 🙂 MmmJonas!! When he left I got a kiss through the window and I ran down to the road so I could wave goodbye.

Dad picked me up this afternoon and we stopped off at the Meadowview home Grandma’s been put in after wandering and getting found by a man who called the police when she couldn’t find her house. It’s not very nice in there, Mum says, and Grandma’s confused.