I hope she wasn’t there. Grrr! – 16th & 17th April 2001

Monday 16th I went to Manchester on the train with Jake today. He got 2 packs of photos back from Canada and we had a minor fall out cos I went all “funny” with him when he got the photos out. I couldn’t help it! He had photos of girls dressed up as cowgirls and stuff which didn’t help but I was just generally feeling left out for some reason.

He got upset in the middle of St Ann’s Square so we ended up making up cos we both felt guilty. He said he’d rather be here with me and that Charlie and Abbi were just nice to him and were the only ones who talked to him about me. I got a wave of jealousy to begin with cos I should’ve been the one talking to him (not about me, obviously!) but now I just want to know what was said!

Jake bought 2 shirts and a pair of short things and I saw the best trainers ever in Shellys! I want them sooo badly but they’re £50. They were so cool! [They weren’t.]

Bye!

Tuesday 17th I went to the Trafford Centre with Jake today to see Bridget Jones’s Diary at the cinema. Sarah and Cat were meant to come too but Sarah let us down at the last minute so Cat didn’t want to come on her own with us. The film was really good but not quite true to the book. I suppose they couldn’t get everything in the film though.

We managed to find Sarah a birthday present too and a card so that was handy cos we probably won’t get another chance to get her anything before next week now.

We got the bus back to the train station near Jake’s BUT the bus didn’t actually stop there cos nobody else was getting off and we didn’t press the buzzer! There were no stops until Warrington after that so we had to get off there. I rang my mum but she made us get the bus home.

Jake got off early to go to The Beech Tree with Ventures. I wasn’t very pleased at that (but I let him) cos I found out from him today that Hannah R fancies/used to fancy him. I hope she wasn’t there. Grrr!

I keep having funny far away/dizzy moments like I did when I was ill again. I had them at the cinema and whilst trying to sleep last night. Weird!

Bye!

What Hugo said was bollocks – 14th & 15th April 2001

Saturday 14th Jake came round today. We got into the subject of his family not liking me and he said it isn’t true and we both got upset over it. He made out that it was my fault anyway for not making an effort to speak to them. How can I when whenever I go to his house, his dad’s at work, his sister’s at the stables and his brother’s shut in his room? Even when I did speak to his dad, Jake always dragged me away or shut his bedroom door for fear of his dad saying something embarrassing to me.

He also told me that bastard Hugo said I come across as being rude and ignorant towards people. That’s just because last time I saw Hugo, I wasn’t exactly being nice to him but it was with good reason seeing as he’d slagged both me and Sarah off just before. Twat!

Jake did say that what Hugo said was bollocks though. Still, all that hasn’t exactly boosted my confidence.

Bye!

Sunday 15th Jake came round to mine again today. I gave him back scratches and stuff and he told me I’m very good at it! He kept called me his little Easter bunny today too! Ha ha ha!!

When Jake went home this evening, I overheard Mum and Dad talking about how I never go to his house and how we spent 8 hours in my room today. I got upset and asked why they said it and explained about Jake’s dad and brother not particularly liking me. They told me not to go O.T.T. and said I’m in a different sort of relationship to Abby and so to stop taking things they say about her on board. They said they understand me not wanting to go to Jake’s house though.

I made up with Mum. She said stuff about being middle aged and got upset. She told me I’m a very caring person really and that Jake’s lovely. She said me and her are both too sensitive and very alike which is why we get upset so easily.

Bye!

We had a bit of a passionate session! – 6th April 2001

Friday 6th

HE’S BACK!!!!! 🙂

I woke up to a message on my phone from Jake this morning. He sent it at 11:49pm last night (just after I’d gone to bed) from Calgary airport saying that he’d missed his phone, that he’s missed me more and that he loves me. 🙂

I accidentally left my phone at home when I went to college but I needed it cos Mum was going to ring to tell me when she could pick me up so I skived 2nd lesson (Maths General Studies) and walked home to get it. I got a bit of Biology coursework done and then checked Teletext for Jake’s flight. It was meant to land at 10:35am but Teletext said it had landed at 10:47am. I was just pleased to see it had landed!

I went back to college, went to Biology and then helped Cat sort out people’s passports for the History trip to Russia. I saw Mr P-K’s and he looked so different but still quite fit! I saw Miss P’s too. She looked a bit more female than she does now cos she had longer hair!

Jake texted me again at about 2:30pm to say he was on his way home in the car. I was pleased to read that too.

All day I’d been getting little waves of excitement when I’d remembered I could see him tonight. The day really dragged though. He said he’d come to my house at about 6:30pm so I went home from college early cos I had a free period last thing and started to get ready cos I didn’t want to still be in the shower or anything when he arrived!

I was just in the middle of watching The Simpsons on TV when I saw his dad’s car pull up at the end of our drive. I saw Jake in the passenger seat and couldn’t stop grinning! I wasn’t sure whether I should rush to the front door or wait until he knocked.

I saw him run up the drive (it was raining) so I ran to the front door. He knocked twice just as I got there and I let him in. I’d been running through in my head all day what I’d do when I first saw him but anything I came up with I forgot when I was actually with him.

We just stood in the hall and hugged each other really hard. He said he loved me so I said I loved him too and we carried on hugging. It was weird (but nice!) kissing him for the first time too cos I couldn’t stop smiling!

It was all really weird actually! I kept having to poke him and stuff to check he was really here! He looks pretty much exactly the same as he did before he went. He was even wearing his jeans and sheep fleece like he did before.

Any daft little worries I’d had before completely disappeared once I was actually with him. He kept saying, “I love you” and I believe him cos of the way he kept touching me everywhere and kept kissing me and stuff cos I was exactly the same with him and I do love him.

We eventually moved from the hall into the front room cos he wanted to see Mollie. She seemed pleased to see him but I still got more attention from him that she did. I was sat on the sofa and he was behind it, still hugging and kissing me so I moved Mollie so he could sit down. We sat cuddling on the sofa for a bit before we went into my room so I could sort my bag out and stuff. It’s sooo good having him back! 🙂

Connor gave us a lift to The Dog, stopping off at the Chinese for Jake to get chips and then we sat in the car eating them. We saw Cat and everyone going out of The Dog so we got out of the car. Jake gave Cat a big hug and then they went on to The Woodman. Jake wanted to go in The Dog so we went in for one drink before catching the others up.

We didn’t stay there long cos all the College 1s were being annoying so we moved to The Cosy Jack. I don’t think Jake let go of me once in there! He was talking to the other people but hugging me. 🙂 He was telling Cat about skiing Dan and how he always smiles and he was known as Radiant Dan cos once someone asked how he was and he said he was “radiant”! Cat likes the sound of him! So do I actually but not in a fanciable way cos I’ve got Jake back now! 🙂 🙂 🙂

We moved to The Grey Hen when we finished out drinks and Jake and I stopped off for a nice long kiss on the way. Mmm! We had to sit on the floor in there cos there weren’t enough chairs but I didn’t mind cos we were sort of hidden. By then, Jake had told me I was beautiful and was constantly whispering or mouthing “I love you” at me so I said it back cos it’s true. It’s nice to keep hearing it from him. 🙂

 

Tess & Jake

[Here we are, reunited on the floor of the pub.]

He told me that everyone had been asking if I’d be at Heathrow airport cos they wanted to see me, and Charlie and Abbi wanted to say hi. He said me and Cat can go to Alton Towers with them all so we can see them cos I kind of want to and she definitely does!

We went in The Mossland next but went when they stopped serving so we weren’t there long. Everyone else headed into the next village but Jake and I went back to my house instead. We were just sat in the kitchen and I was asking if there was anything he hadn’t told me about Canada (jokingly!) and he went all quiet.

I eventually got it out of him that there was some Canadian instructor called Sarah who took a liking to him. He said he didn’t know about it until Rob (who’d warned her off him) told him the next day that she’s been asking after him. He said it upset him and scared him at the time cos he didn’t like the thought of it all happening behind his back cos he though he’s made it clear to everyone that he wasn’t available.

He said he wanted to tell me but didn’t know how to say it and didn’t want to worry me. He’s right, I would’ve been worried and he said it happened recently so I’ll forgive him for not saying anything. He said nothing happened but I was annoyed and active like I didn’t believe him and he ended up getting upset about it. I had to calm down cos I felt really guilty for not believing him (I sort of did really) and getting him upset.

We made up and he made me lie on the floor in the dining room where we had a bit of a passionate session! We didn’t really do much other than kiss though.

He told me that it’s not just one thing that he likes about me and he said I’m just sexy! Hah!! He also said we’ll have to have a whole night together during these holidays. I agree!

I’m really, really glad he’s back now! 🙂 No more waiting for phone calls or worrying about cougars and stuff! 🙂

Bye!

It’s all VERY dodgy!! – 22nd February 2001

Thursday 22nd
6 weeks to go!

Jake’s half way through his Canada trip now. I really want him to come home though because I’m REALLY REALLY missing him!!! 😦

I really should have been revising for my Biology exams next week today but instead I went with Mum to pick the car up from Warrington where it was being serviced. We had to go on the bus and there were a load of scally lads that used to be in my year on it. They didn’t do or say anything to me but they were sat behind us and made me feel really uncomfortable!

Not surprisingly, the car wasn’t ready when we got there so Mum and I went for a look around Matalan for half an hour. We went back to the car place and they finally said it was ready! We then went for a look round Ikea but not for long cos it was really busy. Mum then made me go in this new bathroom place so she could see if they had any good ideas that we could use in our bathroom. That didn’t take very long cos it was smaller than we thought.

On the way home, we went to have a look round the show homes that have been built on the old mental hospital site. One of them was really nice but the others had all the rooms in weird places e.g. the master bedroom opposite the living room.

I did do a bit of revision when I got home and then Jake phoned at about 7:15pm. He couldn’t stay on for very long though cos he started his assessment today and only had half an hour for lunch.

My sister phoned up tonight from France in floods of tears because of Mr L, a history teacher. Mum said she wasn’t making much sense but basically Jacqueline Robson and Katya W (out of my sister’s year) had been talking in the toilets about Mr L having flings with college students and Mrs L overheard them and told all the teachers that they were trouble making.

Mr L then went off his head at all the college girls and said they can’t go skiing tomorrow, including Abby which is why she was so upset cos she wasn’t really involved. It’ll probably get sorted out though.

The thing is that it’s totally true about Mr L. He’s slept with a girl called Donna Sharpe in College 1 and has been trying to get my mate Cat to do the same but she won’t. She’s snogged him and I think their hands have wandered though! I found it a bit hard to believe at first but Cat’s not the type to lie, plus I’ve seen the emails he’s sent her and he’s phoned her too. Some of my other friends have heard a voicemail message he left on Donna’s phone too. It’s all VERY dodgy!!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

22-02-01 Jake email22-02-01 Tess email

Emma’s dyed her hair and now looks like a zebra/skunk! – 8th February 2001

Thursday 8th
8 weeks to go!

Robbie apologised to me today for what he said last Friday and says he’s going to ignore me tomorrow night just in case he says anything else! I’ll forgive him! He’s alright really… but then I was never that annoyed with him in the 1st place cos there was nothing too bad written in the letter (he still shouldn’t have read it but I can’t honestly say I wouldn’t have done!) and it was his dad who said something in the 1st place.

Everyone else seems to know about his dad coming round and phoning me and started asking me what he’d said and stuff today.

Emma let out the truth about why Declan dumped Lizzie today. There was a group of us sat around talking about Declan and Kim, and then Emma said, “I don’t know how she can face speaking to you, Lizzie, after what she did.” We all turned to face Emma saying, “WHAT?!” Emma then had to tell us that Robbie told her that Kim and Declan had shared a bed on Friday and things happened between them. Lizzie then, quite understandably, got upset. We were all blaming Declan until today and, yeh, it was his fault but Kim knew he had a girlfriend but still didn’t say no.

Declan then came over to me and Sarah later and swore down that all he and Kim did was kiss. Even so, it’s still not fair.

Jake phoned at about 6pm tonight. He was sure it’s Friday today but I put him straight! His email really confused me when I read it today cos he seemed to think I might be going out. Poor lad, he’d got all confused too! He didn’t have much to tell me so I updated him on the Lizzie and Declan situation and stuff!

Emma’s dyed her hair and now looks like a zebra/skunk! She’s got really blonde bits and black bits too! I didn’t like it at first but now I’ve got used to it, I think it looks quite good!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

08-02-01 Jake email08-02-01 Tess email

They think they could be pregnant! – 23rd January 2001

Tuesday 23rd
10 weeks + 2 days to go!

I had a geography module exam this morning. I only started revising last night so I’m not entirely sure how well it went!

Karen and Rory are officially a couple too now! This College 2 girl and College 1 lad thing’s really catching on! He asked her out via text message last night. It’s quite sweet actually but all these people getting together doesn’t half rub in the fact that I’m alone for ages and have to stay that way!

I suppose I should be grateful that I’ve got a nice, fit boyfriend, even if he is in Canada (which isn’t much use to me right now!) cos some people haven’t got anyone! Seeing Lizzie and Declan all over each other all the time certainly doesn’t help though cos I’m missing being like that with someone. 😦

Mind you, I’m not the only one feeling a bit sorry for myself at the moment. Sarah’s still miserable about Maz and not getting any emails from him when she checks every 5 minutes.

Cat’s also miserable about Mr L [one of our teachers] too but then so’s Donna Sharpe. Cat and Donna actually spoke to each other today about him and discovered the truth. He’s been stringing them both along. It turns out that the reason why Donna spread a rumour about Cat sleeping with Mr L is because she heard that he’d been giving her lifts home so she put 2 + 2 together and came up with that cos that’s exactly what he’d been doing to her.

Donna and Cat now both know that Mr L’s been contacting the other one and if one wouldn’t go round to his house, he’d ask the other. It turns out that the day Cat said no, he asked Donna and she did go round and she did sleep with him.

They’re now both angry with him rather than each other and they’re now plotting revenge! I mean, they could just get him sacked but before they do anything that drastic, they intend to play a few games with him.

There’ve been 2 ideas so far:

  1. Both go to him separately and tell him that they think they could be pregnant! However, that wouldn’t have worked because Cat’s never slept with him.
  2. Act like they’re best mates around him so that he’ll be left wondering whether they know about each other! I think they’ll do that one!

I still can’t believe all this! You hear about it happening to other people but it’s weird when it’s in your school, involving one of your friends!

Both Cat and I are being haunted by skiing! We REALLY want to go but can’t! Everything at the moment seems to revolve around skiing! Mainly it’s cos of the school trip at half term which everyone seems to be going on. Then, everybody is not only talking about it but got all their equipment sent to school today. And:

  • My sister’s using something about the heights of ski resorts for her maths coursework.
  • The PG Tips advert has got one of the chimps coming back from a skiing holiday on it.
  • Ski competitions are on the TV all the time.
  • There are loads of adverts in the paper about it.

Worst of all is Jake who’s getting to ski for 3 months! I know I shouldn’t be jealous of my own boyfriend but I can’t help it!

One of the things Jake and I planned to do together in the future was to go skiing but if I went with him he’d just try and tell me what I should/shouldn’t be doing cos he’ll be dead good (well, I think he is anyway) but I really want to go skiing! It’s not fair!

I pretty much told him all that on the phone tonight (he probably thinks I’m pathetic now!) cos all I wanted was reassurance that he won’t be like that and I will be able to ski again. But no! He almost completely agreed with me, saying we’d only end up falling out cos he’ll be better than me and I won’t like it! Fine then!

He didn’t really have much else to say as usual but I got another “I love you” out of silence! 🙂

I’ve just been having a really long talk with Mum. It was quite good! We have them every so often and just talk about all sorts. She told me I’m very wise and there’s common sense in everything I say, like Dad apparently. I told her I don’t like people very much (I mean, I do but I just don’t like how people have to make everything so complicated!) and she said Dad’s always said that! She says the wise part runs in his side of the family cos my Grandma’s the same. Mum said I’m like her in other ways though.

She can be interesting to talk to when you get into a proper conversation. I just wish she wouldn’t put herself down so much cos she’s not as bad as she seems to think!

Bye!

Today’s emails →

23-01-01 Jake email

23-01-01 Tess email

I need hugs all the time – 10th January 2001

Wednesday 10th That’s it, my last day with Jake over. 😦

This is what I wrote in my card to him. →

Letter to Jake

I didn’t go to college this morning because I’m not going to see him for so long so he came round to my house. When he came in, we just didn’t say anything and hugged instead which made us both cry a bit. We were both really tired so we went and lay on my bed and actually wasted time by falling asleep. It was nice though!

He took me to McDonald’s for lunch before I went to my biology lesson. I needed to go because Mr C was going through something that I haven’t understood.

When I met up with him again, we got a few photos of us copied for him to take with him and then we went to his house for a while so he could sort some stuff out.

We ate our last Chinese together for tea and then went to watch Charlie’s Angels at the cinema at the Trafford Centre in an attempt to take our minds off him leaving. It was a good film and we discovered you can move the armrests to make a double seat. It’s a shame we never discovered that before! We had a few really good kisses too!

I hadn’t got upset until he drove us back and we sat in the car park on Hodge Drive. We talked a bit but were mainly in floods of tears. He was crying so hard I was worrying about him at one point!

He drove me home at about 1am and we sat on my drive for a bit. I just couldn’t bring myself to get out of the car and leave him! We just couldn’t stop crying but we eventually had one last kiss and one last hug before I counted to 3 in my head and got out of the car. We waved at each other as he drove off and I watched him until I couldn’t see him round the corner.

When I got in, Mum was in bed but still awake and she have me a hug and told me it’d be okay. I hope she’s right! I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to him. I just love him so much!

I can’t believe I’m not going to be able to see him or touch him now. I need hugs all the time but he won’t be here anymore. 😦

He’s left me Preston, his pink shirt, his Issey Miyaki aftershave, a card and a 10 page letter which made me cry even more because it’s so nice.

I’m really going to miss him.

Bye!

[This is his card and 10 page letter to me…]

Jake's letter page 1

Jake's letter page 2

Jake's letter page 3

Jake's letter page 4

Jake's letter page 5

Jake's letter page 6

Jake's letter page 7

Jake's letter page 8

Jake's letter page 9

Jake's letter page 10