It wasn’t just torture for him, believe me!! – 21st-23rd April 2000

Friday 21st Nobody knew what we could do tonight because none of us have any money or had a free house so me, Hayley, Sarah, Gethin, Floyd and Jake all agreed to meet in Hayley’s village and decide where to go from there.

Gethin knows this Year 11 girl called Claire because he was at a party of hers last night. He phoned her to see if we could go round and she let us because her parents are away. We didn’t do much when we got there except watch MTV and play that sad little alphabet game where you have to think of something (e.g. a girl’s name) for each letter. We were bored, okay?!

Later on, the Claire girl was sick (too much vodka!) so we decided to leave. Gethin did his nurse thing again and stayed to look after her! Jake took Sarah home then dropped me off at The Green Dragon. We kissed for a bit and he told me that it’d been torture for him when we were sat at Claire’s and couldn’t do anything with each other! It wasn’t just torture for him, believe me!!

During the day today, I was bored and watching Total Request on MTV and someone’s message that scrolled across the bottom of the screen included, “A pessimist is a well-informed optimist!” I just thought that was good!



Sunday 23rd Had more late night messages from Jake last night. I’d asked him if he was stopping over at Brian’s party thing tomorrow night and he said, “YEP I’M STAYING, NO I AIN’T GONNA SLEEP EITHER! DID YOU HEAR SARAH’S COMMENT ABOUT SLEEPING IN THE BATHROOM COS OF US?? : ) I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU! LOVE J xxxxx”.

I sent a sarcastic one back saying we wouldn’t be doing anything to make her leave the room and his reply was, “MMMNN! I WOULDN’T BE SO SURE ABOUT THAT!! : ) SHE WILL JUST HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE HERSELF OR GET SOME EAR PLUGS!! LOVE YOU! : ) J x”.

I was at Hayley’s this evening and I got a message from Jake saying he’s got a late shift at work which he can’t change so he can’t get to Brian’s until about 1 am. I suppose it’s better than nothing but I’m still pretty disappointed cos I could’ve had a whole 12 hours with him.

Dad came back from walking the dog today with a baby hare (leverets they’re called, aren’t they?) because it was hobbling about in the middle of the field and could’ve been eaten by a fox or shredded by someone’s dog or something. We’ve put it in the old rabbit hutch for now so it should be fairly safe and we’ll probably get the RSPCA involved tomorrow.


Pure edge-of-seat stuff – 14th April 1999

Wednesday 14th I just can’t think of any words which I can write down to describe to you how I, and I’m sure many other Man Utd fans, feel right now. I have just witnessed one of the best games of football I have EVER seen and that’s something coz, believe me, I’ve watched a lot of football.

It was the replay between Man Utd and Arsenal after a 0-0 score on Sunday and that was a pretty good match too, although very frustrating with Arsenal down to 10 men and Sheringham’s wrongly-called offside goal.

Tonight though was pure edge-of-seat stuff. This time it was United who were down to 10 men when Keane got sent off. By then it was already 1-1 after a great goal from Beckham and then Arsenal equalising.

I thought Utd had lost it when in stoppage time Arsenal got a penalty after a bad tackle from Phil Neville. Dennis Bergkamp took it and The Great Dane made a brilliant save. I was SO relieved.

It went into extra time and it did look like the others were going to score coz they had so many chances. Then Giggs, who I’d not seen much of, made a magnificent run, dodging defenders only to score United’s 2nd. I tell you, my throat doesn’t half hurt from shouting!!!

My bad P.E. lesson seems to have been cancelled out by a top match. I had Miss P on at me again – wrongly. Shauna Adams was with me and was complaining to Mr P-K about having to do the 800m and I agreed and pointed out that the other group got a choice of event and Miss came along and started telling me to sort out my attitude and stuff. Bitch! I hate her. I think she likes humiliating me.



Why can’t either Ewan or Ferny ask me to the prom? – 3rd & 5th March 1999

Wednesday 3rd We had our form photos done today and I completely forgot so I probably look a right state on it!

After orchestra tonight, Dougie went up to Emma and asked her if she was going to see A Bug’s Life on Friday. She started telling him who was going and stuff. Ewan’s going and so’s Suzanna. That’s not good. She’ll be all over him coz the rest that are going (lad-wise) are all either mingin’ or taken.

It’s not fair. I really want to go. I should’ve put her on the spot and asked why I hadn’t been asked. I’ll have to try and bring it up again. It was just that I had a good opportunity after school when she was on her own.

If she did end up asking me though (which I very much doubt’ll happen), I’d feel tight on Hayley and also it’d always be in the back of my mind that I’d only be invited coz I forced her. Mind you, it’s already obvious they don’t want me to go.

There’s been no more mention of the prom. Well, not that I’ve been told about anyway. I’ll tell you what I reckon’ll happen. Ewan’ll ask Georgia for definite, that’s what. He’ll also fall into the Suzanna obsession after Friday and he’ll completely forget about me.

Why can’t either Ewan or Ferny ask me to the prom? I’ve had enough bad luck recently, I now want summit good to happen for a change.

Dad’s just got back from Old Trafford. He got a spare ticket off his friend Geoff to go and see Man Utd v Inter Milan there for the quarter finals of the UEFA Cup. I had to watch it on TV. It was still quite a good match though. Man Utd won 2-0, both goals from Yorke in the first half. Not bad.


Friday 5th Well, Emma finally asked me if I wanted to go to the cinema this morning. It wasn’t directly to me, it was more of an open question to anyone who was listening. So, I asked her in orchestra why she hadn’t asked me or Hayley and she said she had this morning then said about 3 times, “You can come if you want” at various moments.

Annoyingly, it turned out that I couldn’t go coz my family were out and about this evening so I couldn’t get a lift anywhere. If she’d have asked me yesterday I’d probably have gone. I could’ve been well in there with Ewan now but he’s probably got off with and/or is going out with Emma, Suzanna or someone else by now. No doubt I’ll get to hear all about it all at this music competition thing tomorrow.


P.S. I got my Steps money back off Lena who also told Freda that the reason she and Lindsey have been off with me is that she don’t really know me that well so they dunno what to say to me. Hmmm, I’m not sure what to make of that.

That Rupert Murdoch turd-of-a-bloke – 8th & 9th September 1998

Tuesday 8th [PRE-WARNING! Boring football rant ahead.] WARNING! Strong language is likely to be used in today’s entry.

I don’t believe it! That Rupert Murdoch turd-of-a-bloke has only gone and bought Man United. Why? That’s what I wanna know. Why did they wanna let a rich git like him ruin a top club like Man Utd? Coz that’s what he’ll do. He and BSkyB now have full control of the club. £5,750,000 he paid for ‘em and now he’ll turn ‘em around so they’ll be worth zilch. Prick!

Oh, and they didn’t think to find out the fans opinion on this deal. No, that’s coz they knew what we’d say to Rupert and his chums. FUCK OFF! Sorry but it’s true. Bastard!

Are these people at Man Utd thick? They bloody must be! Have they not seen what O Bastard One [What?] did to the LA Dodgers baseball team? He changed them from their traditional white strip to blue. He’ll probably have the players of Man U parading about in yellow or summit. According to the papers, he got rid of the Dodgers best players coz it was too expensive or summit. So it’ll be goodbye to Dave Beckham, Giggsy, Keane and most of the bloody team then!

Mind you, my mum’s just pointed out that, even if all the fans do turn against him, she says they’ll still watch so he’ll still have won. She also said that Alex Ferguson might not like it but he won’t quit coz he’ll get even richer than he is already and same goes for the players.

That’s it, I’m sticking with my dad and supporting Bolton Wanderers. Man Utd’ll be off in some new superleague before we know it and will be out of English football altogether. Bolton may not be as good and may be in Division 1 but at least they’re not greedy power freaks, although that’s not to say they would turn down an offer of £5,750,000 if it came their way but I’ll stick with ‘em anyway.

I am really upset. I was honestly nearly in tears before. I got that wound up about it.

I’m gonna go now and think.


Wednesday 9th It don’t really know what I can write about coz not a lot’s happened today. Hang on, I don’t like this pen much. 

That’s a bit better. Rach and I got the Year 7s together for our P.E. coursework and that’s about it.

Ralph and Freddie etc. were trying to push Ferny into the girls toilets for some reason at break. He didn’t go in. I’m sure he keeps looking at me but it’s probably either my imagination or he’s noticed me looking at him.

I think Ewan Swann thinks I fancy him. (That swotty git got 60/60 in his Geog. Coursework and Dougie got 59/60.) Every time I go past, he glances at me. He’s alright I s’pose but I prefer William [Ferny].


I’m just gonna have to try to get him to like me – 25th February 1998

Wednesday 25th


Bloody Barnsley! That’s it – 3-2 to bloody Barnsley! Man Utd are well out of the FA bleeding Cup. That was so close. 2-0 at half time then Cole scored and Sheringham scored in the second half and unfortunately so did a Barnsley twat player. I s’pose at least it wasn’t completely humiliating, like 3-0.

What am I saying? We lost to Barnsley, what’s more humiliating than that?! Okay, maybe losing to Man City or someone but Barnsley are usually shite.

Forget it, Tess, it’s done with now, it’s not your fault that the linesmen were zombies and can’t see an offside. It’s done with now and there’s nowt I can do about it.

Hayley’s not gone off Ferny yet either. She’s going to say that she’ll go out with him once she gets to know him better so that’ll probably keep him interested in her. Also, he’ll feel that he can’t go out with any other girls coz Hayley’s virtually taken him.

I’m just gonna have to try to get him to like me but I dunno how coz I hardly ever see him.


Lizzie bleated like a sheep – 29th – 31st January 1998

Thursday 29th Apparently Ralph got thumped in the gob this morning by Jez and has now got 2 wobbly front teeth. Ralph did call him a Yorkshire sheep though. I dunno if it’s true though coz Ralph told Emma and she told me.

I went skiing in Runcorn again tonight. None of Ralph and Freddie’s lot went. I went on the big slope and went right to the top twice. I fell over one time on the ski lift and nearly for a 2nd time when one of the instructors was trying to push me over.

It was the 2nd night for Parents Evening and Business was a good report from Mrs R, Food was a good report from Mrs K and Maths was ok but it shocked Mum and Dad when (for once) they got told I talked too much to Hayley!


Friday 30th I found out today that Ralph hit Jez back 3 times. I didn’t think he had it in him. I wanted to see that coz I’m not sure I can believe it otherwise!

Lizzie got asked out by Howard Johnson today. She really does attract pricks. For once though so said no.

Hayley said Ralph’s ignoring her now. She thinks it’s because Lena Hall told him that Hayley doesn’t like him. He’s probably embarrassed and disappointed. Hayley feels awful now coz before he always said hi to her.

Lizzie was tight to Jez as well today. Emma, Lizzie and I walked past him at lunch and as he went past, Lizzie bleated like a sheep. Hopefully he didn’t hear her.

Whenever we walk past that lot of lads, Dougie seems to be the only one who actually speaks to us. At lunch, Ralph and Freddie all ignored us but Dougie stopped and talked. Then they all went off and left him. He was only saying about that letter yesterday, sorry Wednesday, but at least he says summit, not like the other miserable gits. Mind you, we don’t’ stop and talk to them either so we can’t really complain.

Emma reckons Dougie’s just polite. I think he’s just got more to talk about with us than the rest of ‘em.

By the way, whenever I say “that lot” I usually mean Ralph, Freddie, Dougie, Jez, Ferny etc and when I say “us lot” or “we” I usually mean me, Emma and our mates. That’s just for future reference.

I found out today that Ferny’s dad has the same name as my dad. Just thought I’d mention it.


Saturday 31st It’s all footy results I’m writing about today and bloody bad ones at that.

To start with, Man Utd lost 1-0 to Leicester City. How? Why? They can win against all these great European teams but can’t beat the likes of teams like Leicester bleeding City! I’ve got nothing more to say on that match except we were lucky that it was 0-0 to Liverpool and Blackburn coz they’re the biggest threats at the moment. That leave us 4 points clear at the top.

The other match which affected our family was the Bolton v Coventry one. Bolton lost 5-1. My dad wasn’t pleased at all and keeps saying that should sack Colin Todd. He’s probably right. Dad ended up leaving the Reebok Stadium 10 mins before the end coz he was that embarrassed. Mind you, it wasn’t quite as bad as he thought coz he thought it was 6-1 until he checked on Teletext.


It was absolutely mingin’! – 5th & 6th December 1997

Friday 5th I’ve had a pretty bad day.

I was baking in Food Tech and it was a complete disaster! The mixture was like bloody elastic! I dunno how I managed that. Then I didn’t have time to decorate it. I tried a bit of one when they were sort of cooked and it was absolutely mingin’!

I gave up in the end and helped Hayley. Then, just to make matters worse, Ralph and Freddie and mates all came to have a look so I had to shove them all in a tin before Ralph came to inspect them coz he’s a dead good cook and says he’s going to be a chef.

In P.S.E. we’d put bets on (me, Lizzie, Emma and Cat) on what Dougie would say if I asked him, “Are you and Emma friends again, then?” So I did and he sort of looked like he was gunna say no but he grunted summit instead. I also asked him if Freddie fancies Emma coz Ralph keeps saying he does and Dougie said, “I dunno, I’ll ask him.”

Dougie’s sleeping at Ed’s house tonight and they’re going Christmas shopping in Warrington. How boring!!! I still wanna go though!


[If sport bores your face off as much as it does mine nowadays, stop reading this now and go and find something more exciting to do. Quick!! Things are about to get football…]

Saturday 6th

December 1997 - Scarves

I’ve had a day of sitting in front of the TV watching Sky Sports today. I’ll tell you about the football first.



What a result!

Brillint innit?! Well, for Man Utd fans anyway. It was a great game, the sort that keeps you constantly on the edge of your seat. The first goal was from Andy Cole and was at a good time coz it really kept you watching. Unfortunately, a bad tackle from Nicky Butt and Phil Neville gave LFC a penalty which Robbie Fowler got in after sending Schmeichel the wrong way by stalling before booting it in the corner. L’pool had quite a lot of possession after that and it was getting worrying every time McManaman stormed up United’s end. [Where did I get this shite from?!] Then we got a free kick close to goal which Beckham sent over James and into the Liverpool goal. I relaxed slightly after that as it was quite far on in the game. Just to finish it, Cole got another after Sheringham headed it to him.

It was a great match but I promised Hayley I wouldn’t say anything to her coz she predicted Man U would win and everybody will take the piss out of the poor, humiliated Scousers. Including me! HA HA!!! [Soz, Scousers.]

Then after the soccer there was the rugby on. England v All Blacks. Nobody could quite believe it when England were up 23-9 at the end of the 1st half. NZ did catch up though and took the lead for a while in the 2nd 40 mins but England actually caught up again and the end result was 26-26. It was pretty good considering the strength of the All Blacks. It was a really great game and really nerve-wracking.

I tried to phone Emma this evening about my English homework but it was permanently engaged. I’m really panicking about it. I’ve got an essay on The Crucible to do and I’ve no idea where to start so she’d better be in tomorrow.


They’ll take the piss – 7th November 1997

Friday 7th We’ve got the soccer team sorted. Mr S, one of the P.E. teachers, is doing it at lunchtimes. We’ve all got to wear a black shirt, shorts, socks and a pair of studs. I’ve got some so I’m ok.

None of us are too keen at having to do it at lunch coz the lads will probably come over and watch then they’ll take the piss afterwards. It would probably be better after school coz then they couldn’t and when we get muddy we can just go home and get changed instead of the showers in the changing rooms. [They were horrific.]

I can’t really think of anything else that’s happened today except it was a non-uniform day and Dougie wasn’t in again.


October 1997 - Gordon

[Hello Gordon, you creepy little thing.]

I said mine was Ralph – 5th November 1997

Wednesday 5th
October 1997 - Fireworks

Football first. Man Utd – 3, Feyenoord – 1. YES! Andy Cole got a hat-trick, brilliant man! Luv him! The Feyenoord blokes are a right bunch of bastards. You should’ve seen the tackle the ref let ’em get away with on Denis Irwin. He’s gunna be out for a while.

The other soccer thing is that Jade Hancock asked why there wasn’t a Year 10 girls team and she was told that if she could get enough girls to play then we could so I put my name down. Loads of my friends have. It could be good

Dougie and Freddie were both off today so I’ve had a pretty boring day. I went hyper this afternoon though and I did something really stupid. I went and told Emma, Hayley, Abby and Sarah that I fancied Ralph. [Because I did.] I don’t know why [Because I did.] but they knew I was only joking. [No I wasn’t.]

Then, in The Game of Life, I told Hayley and Emma that they had to name their husband when they got to that bit on the board. So, Hayley got there 1st and had Dougie, then Emma who said hers was Freddie, so coz I was last, I said mine was Ralph. Again, I was only joking [Again, no I wasn’t.] and so were they but my two favourite lads at the moment were taken. So I said Ralph.

[Nothing says true love like naming a tiny peg after your sweetheart. Original image via Etsy]

October 1997 - Bonfire bye

There was no point in asking Davis. Phew! – 30th October 1997

Thursday 30th

October 1997 - Ticket 1
Boring this morning just waiting to leave for London. Freda phoned too asking if I wanted to go to The Cliff. [Manchester United’s training ground at the time.] I said I couldn’t coz I had to catch a train so she said she’d try and get some autographs from the players for me.

Emma phoned too to say that Lizzie couldn’t come skating so there was no point in asking Davis. Phew! We still don’t know if Dougie’s going to be away or not. So far it’s just Emma, me, Freddie and Ralph.

I spent most of this afternoon watching the Louise Woodward trail on Sky TV. I don’t think she killed the baby. Most of the evidence proves that. The jury still haven’t reached a verdict.

Dad took us to the station and we arrived in London at about 6:00 pm. I want to go to bed now so…