Some girlfriends would help much more – 14th June 2000

Wednesday 14th Mr H dragged me out of the common room today for “a quiet word”. Mum’s asked him if he knows if anyone in school has organised for donations to be sent wherever due to Jake’s mum because she says she wants to do something but doesn’t want to send anything to the family seeing as we don’t know them really. Mr H just told me to tell Mum that he’d spoken to Mrs L about it but it’s Mrs G who might be organising something. He said he’s not sure of the formalities so he’ll let us know.

He then said how he spoke to Jake yesterday and he thinks he seems to be coping very well with it all. He also said he’s lucky to have me (although I reckon some girlfriends would help much more than me) and started asking when the funeral is and stuff. Of course, as soon as I went back into the common room, everyone wanted to know what he’d wanted. I didn’t say cos I didn’t want to bring the subject up cos it upsets me a bit still and I also don’t know how many people know.

Then, in Community Studies, Mrs L gave me a lift round to Mum’s primary school. She knows Jake’s family I think and she knows about me and Jake. She too was asking how he is and stuff and reassured me that all men bottle it up (we reckon cos they see it as being soft to show their emotions!).

Then she asked if I was going to the funeral. Every time someone mentions that I get a slight lump in my throat because I’ve heard about it from nearly everyone else but him. Although, as I think I’ve said before, if he does mention it, I won’t know what to say so maybe it’s better if he doesn’t.

I sent him a message during today and found out he was shopping in Manchester for a suit and shoes. My immediate thought was “Oooh, a suit!” cos I think lads look very nice in them but then it occurred to me that it might well be for the funeral on Monday. I didn’t ask.

I had a message from him last night which ended, “LOVE YOU TO BITS!!! : ) xxx JAKE xxx”. I needed to hear that.


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