What else am I going to remember?!!?!! – 13th July 1999

Tuesday 13th I went to the primary school all day coz they were having a Sports Day run-through in the morning and I got roped into painting crocodiles in the afternoon. I seem to have gained a little club already! They’re lovely some of those kids. The 2 that have spoken to me most are Alex A and Samantha O. Neither of them would let go of my arms! The others noticed and started trying to hold hands with me too!

I had a rehearsal for Swing Band tonight coz of the Au Revoir 2 Concert tomorrow at the British Legion. I was discussing the party with Emma and she told me how awful it had been for her coz she had Rochelle, Zoe and Hayley slagging her off coz they thought she was after Danny Barnes (who Zoe likes). Also, Davis turned up and it was him she was drowning her sorrows about!

I was hoping either Emma, Davis or Ed would have some good news for me on Ewan. No such luck! I’m stupid. I told myself not to get my hopes up about Ewan but I couldn’t help it. I thought that maybe because I’d actually talked to him now (because he’s being trying to get me to have a conversation with him for ages), he might have decided he liked me and let one of those 3 know. Obviously not.

I don’t want to start liking him again coz I’ve been much happier since I haven’t liked anyone in particular. It saves disappointment you see and I end up always wondering about what they’re doing and who with, whereas if I keep my options open and just take it as it comes (like I’ve been doing recently) then it seems much less hassle and one less thing to worry about. It looks like I’m heading backwards in the wrong direction though. Back towards Ewan.

I also think that maybe Adam took my mind off one particular lad a bit too coz meeting him was something to look forward to and organise. I’ve not heard from him for ages now so maybe that’s partly why I’m going backwards!

There’s no certainty that we’ll be going to Scotland for a holiday anymore because Auntie S is not pleased coz nobody else can or will take Grandma L off her hands for a week. I really want to go though.


P.S. I have no idea why but I have just remembered summit from Freda’s party in May. Ollie was asking me to have sex with him!! It just came back to me, him saying, “Where are the bedrooms? Find me a bed, a wall, anything!” Where the hell did that come from?! What else am I going to remember?!!?!!

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