“Do you want a cold?” – 18th December 1999

Saturday 18th The party last night was yet again quite eventful. I think I’ll begin with me. I could’ve snogged 3 lads but I managed to keep a certain amount of self-control.


[My Christmas party attire.]

First of all, there was Ollie Bramwell. He kept asking me, “Where did you get those legs?!” and saying how I should show them off around college more. I was quite flattered but I kept avoiding him. I’ve already met [snogged] him before anyway at another of Freda’s parties. Keira and I were telling him how we were going to do an Xmas strip but Davis was the one who wanted us to do it and he didn’t turn up (we wouldn’t have done anyway though!) and Ollie was trying to convince us to do it anyway.

Then there was Charlie Wilson. I’d been getting on quite well with him all night and he asked me twice to meet [snog] him. He asked indirectly by saying, “Do you want a cold?” I told him I already had one and he asked, “Do you want another one?” I refused him quite simply by saying no. After that he kept giving me hugs and later when we were sat on a sofa he said, “You can snog me if you like.” I started going on about how Cat wouldn’t be too pleased and then luckily he went home. I couldn’t have done anything with him after the amount of piss taking I did out of Cat in Belgium. I’d have been laughed at anyway.

As most people were leaving the party, Adrian Ford turned up. He kept talking to me and putting his hands on my waist as he was doing so. To start with I did my best to avoid him too but then I got bored and found out that most other people had got a snog out of the party so I thought, “Sod it” and took the next opportunity. This was when Adrian went to see if Nigel Groves was okay and he dragged me with him outside, only to find Nigel being sick around the corner.

We left him to it and headed back to the house but Adrian stopped me and we ended up meeting [snogging] each other twice. He wasn’t bad but kept hitching my skirt up and trying to get in my top so I went inside before somebody saw me.

A while later he followed me into Freda’s room and I snogged him again. This time his hand ventured but stayed on the outside of my clothes so I didn’t care! He asked if I was alright, I said yes but took the opportunity to mention that Cat (who was on Freda’s bed) might wake up so we went and he went home pretty soon after.

While I was trying to get some sleep last night, I was putting all the lads I’ve kissed into a list from best to worst! This may seem cruel but, unless they’re psychic, they won’t know. It goes:-


Now I get onto what happed with other people. This could take a while. The expected happened between Lizzie and Gethin, and Gethin made me take a photo of them mid-snog! Gethin also met [snogged] Hayley and Rachael but that was for part of a bet. To complete the bet, he also had to snog Cat and Julian Olsen which he didn’t do. He went back to Lizzie for the rest of the night and kept thanking me for pushing them together with my superb match-making skills!

He really likes her but after he’d left she snogged Anton Roper. He was creeping on to me a bit too, I forgot about that. I was stood next to him and he was rubbing his hand further and further down my back until I moved then he kept feeling my leg when I was trying to sleep on the floor.

My match-making also worked with Karen and Floyd Miller. Before they arrived I’d said I was going to do it and I kept making her sit on his knee and stuff and they ended up meeting [snogging] each other.

Emma was having stalker trouble with Neil Kennedy. He cornered her and was saying how much he loved her and gave her a diamond heart-shaped pendant. I rescued her because I came round the corner to find a drink and saw her trying to get rid of him so I started up a conversation with Emma and told him someone was looking for him. She is now seeing Orson Platt but doesn’t want to be now she’s sobered up!


[Orson & Emma]

Maisie Jones snogged Tunde S and then Adrian. I don’t care coz I don’t like Adrian like that. I was just drunk and bored!

Big Paul upset Cat by meeting [snogging] her and then buggering off with Keira.


[Big Paul & Keira]

There’s more stuff but I can’t quite remember what it is just yet!

Zoe rang me before to see if I’d go to the cinema with her, Reevesy, Brett and Ste because Hayley wasn’t going but I couldn’t because I had to go and see Grandma S.

It’s not good at Grandma’s. She’s had a bit of a fire but must have managed to put it out, her sink in the kitchen was blocked, the basin upstairs was blocked and it looks like there’s been a flood upstairs in the bathroom at one point coz all the paper on the ceilings is coming off. I got a bit upset actually because Mum’s really worried but Grandma’s being stubborn and won’t come and stay with us for a few nights until everything’s sorted.

The other thing was there was a mini explosion when Dad tried to switch the TV on. Grandma had wiped it down with water because it’d been smoke damaged. I hope she’ll be alright.


What else am I going to remember?!!?!! – 13th July 1999

Tuesday 13th I went to the primary school all day coz they were having a Sports Day run-through in the morning and I got roped into painting crocodiles in the afternoon. I seem to have gained a little club already! They’re lovely some of those kids. The 2 that have spoken to me most are Alex A and Samantha O. Neither of them would let go of my arms! The others noticed and started trying to hold hands with me too!

I had a rehearsal for Swing Band tonight coz of the Au Revoir 2 Concert tomorrow at the British Legion. I was discussing the party with Emma and she told me how awful it had been for her coz she had Rochelle, Zoe and Hayley slagging her off coz they thought she was after Danny Barnes (who Zoe likes). Also, Davis turned up and it was him she was drowning her sorrows about!

I was hoping either Emma, Davis or Ed would have some good news for me on Ewan. No such luck! I’m stupid. I told myself not to get my hopes up about Ewan but I couldn’t help it. I thought that maybe because I’d actually talked to him now (because he’s being trying to get me to have a conversation with him for ages), he might have decided he liked me and let one of those 3 know. Obviously not.

I don’t want to start liking him again coz I’ve been much happier since I haven’t liked anyone in particular. It saves disappointment you see and I end up always wondering about what they’re doing and who with, whereas if I keep my options open and just take it as it comes (like I’ve been doing recently) then it seems much less hassle and one less thing to worry about. It looks like I’m heading backwards in the wrong direction though. Back towards Ewan.

I also think that maybe Adam took my mind off one particular lad a bit too coz meeting him was something to look forward to and organise. I’ve not heard from him for ages now so maybe that’s partly why I’m going backwards!

There’s no certainty that we’ll be going to Scotland for a holiday anymore because Auntie S is not pleased coz nobody else can or will take Grandma L off her hands for a week. I really want to go though.


P.S. I have no idea why but I have just remembered summit from Freda’s party in May. Ollie was asking me to have sex with him!! It just came back to me, him saying, “Where are the bedrooms? Find me a bed, a wall, anything!” Where the hell did that come from?! What else am I going to remember?!!?!!

The news has even reached Newcastle!! – 24th May 1999

Monday 24th The English Lit exam which I had this morning didn’t seem too bad actually but I’ll decide once and for all how hard it was when I get my results back!

A few people were asking me if it was true about me and Ollie but only my mates. I told a couple of people, like Bella, but only because I thought they already knew. I did see Ollie himself a couple of times but I don’t think he wanted to see me any more than I wanted to see him!

Nothing happened with Lizzie and Oscar P as far as they told me coz he left quite soon after I did.

I’ve scanned the letter I’ve written to my internet mate Adam Cunliffe and I’ve stuck it over the page. I didn’t scan the first one I sent him coz I didn’t think about it but I wished I had coz I can’t remember what I wrote. That’s why I did this one.


Hi Adam,

How’s life treating you in Stoke-on-Trent? It’s not been too bad here at the moment actually, there’s quite a lot of stuff that’s been happening. It’s usually so boring round here with it being the centre of absolutely nothing and all but with it being the last week of school and stuff, it’s actually been quite lively for once!! There’s been people staggering about Warrington all weekend… my mates included! Well, you know about Friday’s party anyway and that was the only bit of gossip I’m sure you’d really be interested in. Believe me, I’m regretting it now after about 50 people were questioning me before the English exam this morning!

I’m going to Wembley next Monday!!! Can’t wait, even if it is only Bolton v Watford! My dad got us tickets yesterday so we’re going down to London on Sunday and we’ll stay overnight at my auntie’s house. Should be good, I’ve not been for a while.

You asked if I had ABBA Gold, remember? Well, I have got it actually! I dunno where it is but it’s around somewhere. It’s probably at the bottom of a drawer somewhere with all the other CDs that I hide whenever anyone comes round!

I’ve not got any photos that I can send you now either but everyone’s had their camera at school at some point over the last week or so and at that bloody party so I should have some more I can send to you soon. I’ve got loads of my friends too but the film’s not been developed yet so you’ll have to wait for those ones as well. Sorry! You’ve got the ones I scanned for you and they’ll do for now. Oh yeah, Lizzie Bond is still single. Just thought I’d let you know coz I think she’s coming with me.

I should be using this time I’ve got off school to do some serious revision, not writing to you. Buy hey, you’re worth it!! I’ve got Geography and P.E. to look forward to for the rest of this week and I can’t afford to fail them coz I want to take them for A Level. Everyone else seems to be going round panicking about these exams but I just can’t get wound up about them. I mean, I want to do well but it’s not [The printer chopped a line or two off so the sentence stops here.]

Right, I’d better go. I think the dog wants to be taken for a walk because she’s sitting here staring at me and she keeps following me every time I get up!

So, good luck with the rest of your exams, write back and I should be seeing you soon!

Loads of love
Tess xxx

I might go online in bit and see if he’s on. I can use that BBC Bitesize thing for revision while I’m at it.

Speaking of the internet, I was talking to this lad called GeordieChris last night and earlier today. He’s someone that Emma knows I’ve met him once and he seems ok. He lives in Newcastle and he used to come and visit his dad down here until he recently moved up there too. Anyway, apparently Emma’s been filling him in on the details of Friday night. So no the news has even reached Newcastle!!

That ‘Sweet Like Chocolate’ song by Shanks and Bigfoot (I think), which I really like, keeps coming on the radio and stuff and it now reminds me of the last day of school and Ollie coz I was humming it to myself all day Friday. I’ll probably go off it now!


I keep having flashbacks – 22nd May 1999

Saturday 22nd I keep thinking about that party last night. All day I’ve kept remembering what happened with me and Ollie and I can’t quite believe it. It doesn’t seem real, it feels more like I dreamt it or something. But I didn’t, did I?!

I was on the phone to Hayley earlier and she told me that she wasn’t sure Ollie even went with [snogged] Jade, and it wasn’t Jade Hancock it was a different Jade. She’s not sure about Lindsey either because all Lindsey came in and said was summit like, “I like a good grope!”

Hayley did say he upset Miranda though coz he tried to get his hand down her shorts I think. He didn’t know what he was doing or saying, I’m sure. [Hmm. Not an excuse.]

I also had a phone call off Sarah L coz she wanted to know what she’d missed seeing as she left pretty early. I filled her in on most things but Freda had already told her about me and Ollie. I feel so guilty now coz Sarah told me on Thursday that she liked him as well as Ed. I completely forgot! I feel really snidey now coz that happened to me at New Year when Zoe went with Ewan Swann.

I want to know how Lizzie Bond and Oscar Price got on after I’d left coz Aled and I were attempting a bit of matchmaking and it started to work. When I was leaving, Lizzie was leaning on him and they were holding hands but they were both being too shy to take it any further. I’d have phoned Lizzie today but I thought she’d probably be swimming. I’ll find out eventually!

I’m covered in bruises as well. I don’t know where they’ve come from! Probably from people falling on me and me walking into things. I’ve got a big lump on my shin and bruises on my knee and arm. My neck’s pretty stiff too but I think that’s from Hayley hugging me so hard at the buffet when I told her that James Douglas (Dougie) and his girlfriend Keira Osborne (in Year 10) have split up!

Hayley was also saying on the phone that she reckons Didier was jealous of Ollie coz when he 1st arrived he wouldn’t give me a hug (he’s quite shy) but after Ollie he would and he kept calling him things as well from what I remember (which isn’t a lot at this stage)!

I keep having flashbacks like when Ollie kept kissing me on the cheek beforehand, he grabbed my face with both hands and then pulled me in to kiss me, bashing me in the eye with his glasses in the process!

Also, I was trying to set Freddie Bevan (who was totally sober coz he was on his moped) up with Hayley (coz she asked me to) and he said she wasn’t his type and I was trying to get it out of him who the College 1 girl with black hair that he said he fancies is. He then started telling me about how William Fernley (who I used to fancy and still sort of do) was getting himself a bit of a reputation for drinking and having the occasional smoke. He never did anything like that before Xmas coz joining the RAF was so important to him.

I still can’t believe some of the stuff that happened! I’ve not done much today so I’ve been thinking and worrying a lot about yesterday and what’s gonna happen on Monday.

Man United beat NewcastleNewcastle 2-0 in the FA Cup final today. I’m so pleased!! They’ve got the double for the 3rd time and could make it the treble if they beat Bayern Munich on Wednesday. I hope they do! Didier was at Wembley today, luck sod, coz he’s a big Man Utd fan too.

Better go to bed now.


Tongues and all! – 21st May 1999

[If you read this post, I demand you tell me about your first snog in return!]


[I’d got a new, relatively boring diary. No Garfield, Boyzone stickers or dolphins this time.]

Friday 21st It was my last day at high school today. I’ve officially left and the exams begin on Monday.

It’s been quite a good day actually. We didn’t have to wear uniform to school but we had to wear smart stuff and everyone kept telling me how nice I looked. [You can judge for yourselves…]

Ollie Bramwell looked me up and down a few times and all. (Little did I know what was going to happen later!)

We had to go to our 1st two lessons but didn’t do much and then we had an assembly and our buffet. Most people were crying (including Mr P!) and were going round hugging each other. Songs like ‘Simply The Best’, ‘As’ and ‘I’ll Be There For You’ were played. I got a bit upset at the end but more coz I remembered what a crap time I’ve had this year.

Emma and Olivia wanted me and Hayley to go into Warrington with them for a drink but we decided not to. We went back to Hayley’s for a while and then met up with Poppy and went in The Beech Tree pub. We got bored in there so we went to the café above the supermarket for coffee and chocolate cake before going to pick Hayley’s nieces up.

This evening, I went to a party at Freda Fernandez’s house. People were coming and going all night. One person who did turn up was Ollie Bramwell. He kept telling me I had such a nice body and was asking me when I’d got it. He also told me I looked nice with my hair down. He was pissed.

He kept hugging me and kissed me on the cheek twice. Then we were stood by the front door and [LIVE UPDATE: I’m cringing too much at this and making an involuntary ‘mnaarruuugghh’ noise as I type.] he had his arms round me and he asked me to go with [snog] him. I said no but a couple of minutes later I was snogging the lad! Tongues and all! It was alright but I wouldn’t do it with him again coz I don’t really like him that much.

He then laid me down on the stairs and asked me to have sex with him! I said no, of course! I just went with [snogged] him again instead. Apparently he’d also been with [snogged] loads of other people at another party as well as Freda, Jade Hancock and Lindsey Bullman. Oh, and Miranda, a Year 8 who fancies him.

It wouldn’t have happened if I’d been sober probably but I wasn’t! It’ll be embarrassing on Monday!

Ed also tried to go with me but I told him it’d be too weird coz I’ve known him all my life and he agreed. Aled Brownlee and Didier Lomas were being very nice to me as well but nothing much happened.

I’m tired so I’m going to bed. I can’t quite believe some of the stuff that’s happened today!


“Tessa’s got nice legs” – 22nd-26th March 1999

Monday 22nd Well, according to Abby, now Ewan’s not going out with Holly. They did go to the cinema though on Saturday night (not on their own) and he did that yawn, stretch and rest your arm back down and the back of the seat next to you, which in his case just happened to be seating Holly! I’d have laughed I think. I definitely wouldn’t have been able to keep a straight face. Abby said Holly moved as far in the opposite direction in her seat as she could! I dunno if that’s true. She also said they didn’t go with [snog] each other and she doesn’t know if Holly likes him or not.

Hayley said she saw “Holly ♥’z Ewan Swan” (spelt wrong) written on the desk in physics. That’s not a good sign.

The Steps photos were in school today. They were showing them off right in front of me so I didn’t react. They were really close to the front too. It’s not fair! Emma’s the only one who’s apologised so far.


Thursday 25th I’m so annoyed with Hayley. We were meant to be going to this under 18s night at Bowlers nightclub at Trafford Park but she’s just let me down at the last minute. Who am I going to find now to come with me? When I first suggested it she was all for it then last week she was having doubts but I managed to persuade her back into it. But then just now she’s decided she really doesn’t want to go.

There’s no reason that she’s given me and I bet she’s left it so late to tell me deliberately so I can’t go either coz she won’t want me to have any fun either.

Fair enough, it might not have been her scene (soft cow!) but it’s unfair on me to leave it so late before letting me know. Well, thanks a bunch, Hayley!


Friday 26th It’s William F’s [Ferny’s] birthday today. Hayley bought him a card and Lena bought him socks. I didn’t bother coz I don’t really speak to him much anymore.

I’ve been wearing a skirt for school for the last couple of days and I think I’m going to have to do it more often coz, in Biology today, I saw Ollie Bramwell looking in my direction. We were watching a video so I went and sat on the side bench near where he was sat and I heard him say to Ed, “Tessa’s got nice legs”. I looked up and Ed told him I’d heard it. I pretended I hadn’t and he asked why I’d gone red then. Well, that was quite flattering anyway.

I went to the cinema to see ‘Waking Ned’ tonight with Freda, Hayley, Lizzie, Karen and Lucy. It was quite a good, funny film and worth seeing.

[Via Wikipedia]

[Via Wikipedia]

Before we went in, we all went to Asda to get food supplies coz it’s cheaper there than at the cinema and we got fed up of looking for Lizzie and Karen so Lucy and I got them to give a customer announcement from the service desk to ask them to meet us. I think they were a bit embarrassed!

Afterwards, there were loads of lads hanging about and some of the fitter ones took an interest in us and were saying “chat her up for me” and stuff to each other. Hayley, of course, was convinced they were talking about her and told me they’d been waving at her and stuff but I think she just said that to try and compete with what Ollie said about my legs. I was with her all the time nearly and I didn’t see them single her out. I waved at them as we left and they waved back coz Freda’s dad arrived just before they got the confidence to come over. Usual thing, never mind!