Ferny’s an angel or summit – 21st & 22nd July 1998

Tuesday 21st The Swing Band went to 2 other primary schools. They both went quite well.

Dougie and Lena have split up. According to Dougie it was a mutual thing.

I went into the next village with Emma, Rach, Freddie and Ralph this evening. The lads were pissing us off a bit coz they were messing about and vandalising stuff. On the way back to Emma’s, Ralph asked me if I fancied Ferny now. I said no but I probably shouldn’t have done coz most people know I do anyway. He then started saying that he reckoned Ferny’s an angel or summit coz he won’t drink alcohol and he doesn’t have any feelings. He also wants to join the RAF or summit and I said that it’s probably so he can fly.

It’s gonna be an awful day tomorrow. First we’ve got a Year 10 assembly and Mr M’s going to embarrass us somehow. Then we’ve got English and we’ll have to stand up and tell the class summit humorous about work experience. In P.E. we’ll probably be doing all the athletics we’ve not done yet and for me that’s the 1500m and 800m. Then in the afternoon, I’ve got to play my flute in the Swing Band in front of the whole bloody school and I’ll probably have to get a platinum [mega swot] award certificate too.

Who knows what else will happen.


Wednesday 22nd It was the last day of school today. It wasn’t too bad but it could’ve been better.

Mr M’s assembly was as I thought it would be. He didn’t embarrass me though. He was just going back over the year and telling us stories about people. Then he started going on about the best excuses and stuff. He said the best excuse for being late was from Jim Brackenhurst with, “I had to bring in the cows.”

There were loads of others but the one I remember was the best absence note from Graham Baxter. It was something along the lines of:-

Dear Mr M,

Graham has been absent from school as he has been having muscle spasms in his neck. This has left his head in a peculiar position. The doctor said it’s the worst case he’s ever seen. Graham was not able to return to school until his head was able to move more freely.

I felt so sorry for him but it was funny.

Ralph also had to go down and get a card off the Food teacher Miss D coz he did so much for the carnival.

In English we didn’t do anything coz it was Mrs N’s last day in our school so we were giving her presents and stuff.

It was a top P.E. lessons. Most people just joined the Music group for kareoki [Spellchecker hates me for that.] but me, Rach and Mr P-K were bored so he found a starter pistol in the bottom of a drawer. He decided to try it out so he filled it up and pretended he was a cowboy in the Sports Hall. Then he let me and Rach have 4 shots each. He’s gotta be one of the best teachers. He gave us Extra Stong Mints too.

The last assembly was so humiliating. We had to play 3 sad songs in Swing Band [Sad as in rubbish rather than totes emoshe.] and I was in full view of Ralph and Ferny who were sat there grinning at me. They knew I didn’t want to do it.

Jez Greenhalgh told Emma we sounded pretty good afterwards. Yeah, I know, but it was still embarrassing and that was a sheep’s opinion anyway.

We also had to do a free concert at the British Legion. It went quite well actually. While I was there, I was thinking about the lack of nice lads going to Paris. There’s only about 3 slightly above average and that’s Charlie Wilson, Dougie and Ewan Swann. [This is not the last you’ll read about Ewan Swann.] Oh well.


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