Friday 3^rd We had today off school coz it’s an inset day so Rachael came to my house. We were phoning everyone to try and get them to come down to the village but we decided not to bother in the end coz it wasn’t fair on Emma coz she’d gone shopping.

We rang Freddie and had a short conversation with him and we also rang Ralph. I was on for quite a while to him. I apologised again for last night and he said he wanted to ask me something but he wouldn’t tell me over the phone. I told him I still liked him and that I wouldn’t never go out with him. That didn’t seem to help matters and he said he was just getting depressed again.

Later on we phoned Graham Baxter. Rach really wanted someone else to do it coz she fancies him and was embarrassed but I wouldn’t. She ended up asking him if he wanted to come to the cinema next Friday and he said he would. She was dead pleased after and so was I coz she was. I wanna get Ferny to come now but I bet he’ll be at cadets and it wouldn’t be fair on Ralph.

We had another Prom concert in school tonight and Emma told me that Ralph’s question was, “Is there much point in me liking you anymore?” What am I supposed to say to that, hey? I’ll have to say something like, “It’s up to you but I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t” as Emma suggested. He might not even ask.

He wants to go somewhere tomorrow but Rach is away so it’d be just us 4. I hate it like that coz Emma and Freddie go off (even when she says she won’t) and I have no choice but to talk to Ralph. That’s why I prefer it in a larger group with all of us so I have a selection of people to speak to.

Then Ralph and Freddie usually get pissed and Emma just goes along with it (and doesn’t think so she does something she regrets later). I’m the only one who doesn’t want to so I end up making crap excuses why I won’t drink anything. But then if I don’t go, Emma’d probably get Suzanna the Slapper down and Ralph’d go with her. Actually, that might stop him being miserable but I don’t want anyone else to have him. Selfish, I know!

BYE!

P.S. Tim Henman didn’t get through the semi final at Wimbledon today. Oh well, I’m still getting over the football.

Saturday 4^th I’m bored now. Emma, Ralph and Freddie have all gone somewhere together and I didn’t want to. They did ask me but I wouldn’t come. I usually regret going places when it’s just us 4 for the same reasons as I said yesterday so I didn’t bother.

Hopefully Emma will phone me this evening when they’ve gone so she can fill me in on what’s happened. I’m prepared for Ralph not liking me anymore coz that’s what I’m expecting. It might uncomplicated things a bit more coz then I can like Ferny without feeling guilty about it, even though I’ve got no chance.

I’ll probably write again later when I know more.

Bye for now!

I ended up phoning Emma in the end coz Mum and Dad took the dog for a walk. She said they just ended up getting the bus to Warrington but they were back by 4:00pm. I don’t think I missed much.

I was thinking before, well, daydreaming really and I was thinking about how jealous I would be if Suzanna the Slapper did come down and went with Ralph. Then I thought, well I might as well just go out with him before she comes next weekend but then I remember how sick he makes me feel sometimes. As usual, I’m just gonna see what happens.

I was reading through an old diary before and I discovered I missed out a vital part. I never wrote down about the lunch time when Ferny and I were getting along very nicely. We were in a snow fight and he and I kept stuffing snow down each other’s backs and he got me last. I remember skiing down with my group and he was stood with his group and as we passed each other, we both glared and smiled at each other. I never did get him back for that.

He was so lovely in Austria and we got on dead well but then Hayley went and asked him out when we got back to school and he forgot all about me I think.