Sunday 22^nd I went to Emma’s today. She’s regretting snogging 3 lads. When we get back to school she wants me to stick up for her if people start calling her a slag but that’ll be awkward coz I agree with them. [Only because I was well jel.]

She thinks Ferny likes me. I still dunno.

BYE!

Monday 23^rd Life is so unfair sometimes! One lad I thought I had a chance with [Contradictory to what I wrote the day before.] has been grabbed by one of my mates. Grrr!!!

Hayley’s asked Ferny out.

She knew I liked him a lot which makes it even more bloody annoying. She told me this morning that she was going to ask him out so, at lunch (to get a hint of what he might say), Emma asked him if he still liked Hayley. He paused and said, “Mmm… no.” Then she asked him what he’d say if she asked him out and he gave the same answer. I just said, “Oh good!” and I think he heard me.

I was happy all afternoon then until last break. Rachael H asked him out for Hayley anyway and he said, “I dunno, I’ll tell you tomorrow.” If he really didn’t wanna go out with her he’d have said no straight away. Bugger!

I’m gonna be so bloody disappointed if he says yes tomorrow which everyone thinks he will. I’m trying to stop myself from liking him now so that I won’t be too gutted but I can’t. I’m probably more nervous than Hayley is about his answer.

Freddie wasn’t in today and neither was Ralph. Emma’s getting really pissed off with that lot coz we saw them at lunch and they started saying that Freddie had gum disease and that he was too embarrassed to come to school now he’d sobered up. I couldn’t stop laughing but I don’t think Emma saw the funny side.

I’m still depressed about Ferny. I can’t stop thinking about it. He’s never been with anyone [I was talking snogging here.] and I wanted to be the first but it doesn’t look like it’s going my way. I think I’ll phone Emma to see if I can get her to cheer me up. But then, knowing her at the moment, she’ll make me worse with all her problems.

I still think he’ll say yes [mainly because I’m a die-hard pessimist but also…] coz
– he’s liked Hayley before
– his mates’ll pressurise him into it
– he won’t want to get called a fridge [A real schooldays fear if I remember rightly.]
– it’ll be the 1^st real chance of a girlfriend he’s had etc.

Emma reckons he’ll say no though and he’s keeping her hanging coz he wants to get back at her for chickening out last time.

Okay, it’s a few hours later now and I phoned Emma before. She still thinks Ferny’s gonna say no. I still think he’ll say yes. I can see it all now: If we go anywhere at the weekends, there’ll be the 2 happy couples – Emma and Freddie, Hayley and Ferny – then (not out of choice) me and Ralph will be stuck together.

Oh well, I’ve kind of convinced myself that I don’t give a toss now and I’ll just have to see what happens tomorrow.

BYE!

[Any guesses what’s going to happen?! I genuinely can’t remember and I’ve not turned the page to find out yet. It’s not exactly an edge-of-seat cliffhanger but it’s the best my teenage self could offer.]