Sad, pathetic, childish, twisted little cow – 6th July 2000

Thursday 6th I didn’t go to college again today cos I’m feeling rotten again. 😦 I think kickboxing finished me off last night, even though it was good!

I’ve had quite a lot of messages today (I’m writing smaller cos I’ve not got many pages left!) off Jake. I had a couple from last night too saying, “HELLO! HAVE YOU GONE/DID YOU GO K’BOXING? DID YOU SEND THE NAME OF THAT PLACE IN HOLLAND? WANNA KNOW IF MY MSGS ARE WORKING COS I’M IN ITALY NOW! LOVE xJx”.

I told him I wasn’t feeling too great and that I’d get the address of where we’re staying in Holland for him soon. He said, “OK! I’LL LET YOU RECOVER IN PEACE! ON OUR WAY TO PISA NOW – I’LL TRY NOT TO FALL OFF THE LEANING TOWER! NIGHT NIGHT!!! : ) LOADS OF LOVE!!! xxx JAKE xxx”.

I then sent him a msg this morning asking what he was up to. He told me, “I’M LOOKING ROUND THE LEANING TOWER – DON’T WORRY I WON’T BE FALLING OFF – YOU CAN’T GO UP NOW! IT IS TOO HOT! WISH YOU WERE HERE TOO! : ( LOVE YOU LOTS N LOTS!!! xJx”.

I then asked if Charlie had that address and I also told him I got woken up this morning by a magpie pecking at my window! He said, “I SPENT LAST NIGHT SLEEPING ON A TRAIN PLATFORM – I’M V. TIRED SO DON’T MENTION SLEEP! HE’S GOT IT BUT IT’S AT THE BOTTOM OF HIS BAG AND WON’T GIVE IT ME!! LOVE xJx”.

I asked if he really needed the address if Charlie already had it and that I hoped I felt better for Holland. He said, “IF HE’S LOST IT OR SOMETHING THEN I’LL LET YOU KNOW! HE RECKONS IT’S A HOTEL THOUGH?? YOU GOTTA GO – IF NOT, I’M COMING HOME TO SEE YOU! LOVE YOU!!! : ) xJx”.

I asked if it mattered if it was a hotel and he said, “RIGHT WELL I’M STOPPING THERE WHETHER IT’S A CAMP SITE OR THE RITZ!…” and then, “THIS IS LIKE HAVING PART OF ME TAKEN AWAY FROM ME – MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY! : ( SOOO GLAD I’VE GOT THAT PHOTO!! I LOOK AT IT ALL THE TIME! LOVE YOU TO BITS!!! xJx”.

I said I hoped he wasn’t looking at the one Gethin gave him of me looking stoned in a Santa hat all the time and he told me, “NO – ALTHOUGH IT MAKES ME LAUGH, THE ONE YOU GAVE ME IS MUCH NICER! AND WE ARE TOGETHER ON IT! : ) WISH WE HAD GOT TOGETHER EARLIER THOUGH…” and then, “THEN I WOULD BE ON THE ‘STONED’ PHOTO! IF I WASN’T HAPPY ALREADY – I’D GIVE ALMOST ANYTHING TO BE SO! UURRRGHH! : ( NOT FAIR! xJx”.

Christmas '99 Tess stoned Santa

Later I told him that I’d just dreamt we were both in college and he said, “WISH THAT DREAM WAS TRUE! EVEN IF I HAD TO BE IN COLLEGE! IT’S NOT ME PHONING YOU! I’VE JUST FINISHED WASHING ALL MY CLOTHES – I’M WORN OUT NOW!…” (someone phoned the house and hung up when I answered) and then, “I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU!! THAT’S A GOOD THING IN THAT IT SHOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU! : ) BUT THEN IT REALLY HURTS COS I CAN’T SEE YOU AND GIVE YOU A HUG! : (“.

This evening I’ve had a few more messages saying, “HELLO! WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? JUST BEEN FOR A MEAL – WE’RE WANDERING ROUND DOING NOTHING NOW! ACTUALLY THE ONLY WAY I CAN PARTLY TAKE YOU OFF MY MIND…” then, “IS BY STUFFING MY FACE FULL OF REALLY NICE FOOD! NOT THAT I WANT TO TAKE YOU OFF MY MIND COS YOU’RE A V. NICE THING TO HAVE ON YOUR MIND! LOTS OF LOVE!!! xJx”.

I told him I was lying on the sofa, wrapped up in my duvet, looking very pink (cos I’ve developed a temperature) and feeling very miserable cos he’s so far away! He replied, “AAAGGHH! ARE YOU NOT GETTING ANY BETTER THEN? : ( I JUST WISH I COULD CUDDLE UP TO YOU NOW! – JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND DREAM ABOUT IT! ARRAN SAID…” then, “HE AND ALI ARE GOING BACK TO CALAIS ON THE TRAIN AND THAT ED COULD GO WITH THEM WITH MY TICKET! : ) HE IS REALLY MISSING HIS GIRLFRIEND TOO! LOVE YOU! xJx”.

I’m going to be disappointed if Jake can’t get the coach back with us now. Mind you, I usually end up looking really rough after travelling for a long time so maybe it’s not such a good idea!!

Hayley’s being a right bitch to Sarah. If I had more energy I’d explain and then slag the hell out of the lanky whore but I need sleep so I’ll do it another day if I decide it’s not a waste of ink and paper cos everyone knows what a sad, pathetic, childish, twisted little cow she can be!!

Bye!

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