I’m an interesting and fun person – 2nd August 2000

Wednesday 2nd Jake came round to my house again today but we didn’t do much at all. We just talked, tickled each other, you know, the usual stuff.

He did tell me at one point that I’m an interesting and fun person (hmmm!) and then when he’d gone home, he backed it up with a text saying, “I’M GONNA HAVE TO GET A LIFT IN MY SISTER’S TAXI TO THE STABLES – SO I’LL BE AT YOURS FOR ABOUT 11:00 TMW! THAT’S IF YOU WANT MY COMPANY!?? TODAY WAS FUN – STILL CAN’T STOP GIGGLING/SMILING! YOU REALLY DO MAKE ME SOOO HAPPY COS YOU’RE SUCH A HAPPY/FUN PERSON TO BE WITH! LOVE YOU! : ) xxx JAKE xxx”.

It sounds like I should be on some little kids programme, like Playbus or something!

Bye!

 

It’s his last night to pull – 20th July 2000

Thursday 20th My postcards from Jake finally arrived this morning. It’s a good job they did or I wouldn’t have been able to read them until I got back from Holland. (I’ve stuck them over the page.)

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It was the last day of college today but I’ve been left with tonnes of coursework to get on with over the “holidays”! We finished early today so I came home to pack for tonight when I leave for Holland. I’m getting really excited now but I know the coach journey’s going to seem to take forever and I won’t get much sleep (if any!) so I’ll look a complete state when I get off at the other end! I hope Jake will be there though.

He’s asked me to bring my nail varnish cos he’s only got a bit left on his nail and also my Poppy body spray cos the smell of it on his watch strap’s wearing off. I think I’d better take my nail varnish remover and all cos if he gets drunk, he’ll let me put it on and then regret it the next morning!

He was telling me before that he’s going into Amsterdam tonight because it’s Charlie’s and Ali’s last chance to pull and Charlie reckons he’s feeling lucky! He also told me that he can’t stay in our hotel cos there’s no room so he’s booked into a hostel or something in Maastricht which he said is only 10 minutes away on the train.

He sent me 2 messages after that saying, “I GET TO SEE YOU TOMORROW! : ) : ) : ) SORRY – IT LOOKS BETTER WHEN I WRITE IT IN A MSG! : ) CAN YOU TELL HOW HAPPY N VERY EXCITED I AM BY THE NUMBER OF SMILEY FACES??…” and then, “COS I’M SOOO EXCITED!!! LOVE YOU TO BITS!!! : ) : ) : ) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx J xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx : ) : ) : )”. Do you think he put enough kisses?!

I then told him (jokingly) that it’s his last night to pull too but he said, “CHEEK – YOU KNOW I’M NOT OUT TO PULL AND I DON’T WANT TO EITHER! : ) WAY TOO HAPPY TO EVEN LOOK AT ANYONE ELSE! : ) I THOUGHT IT WAS AT LEAST 7PM BEFORE – THEN I LOOKED AT MY WATCH AND IT’S ONLY 4PM! CAN’T BELIEVE HOW SLOW IT’S GOING! 24 HOURS AND WE’LL BE TOGETHER! : ) LOVE YOU! : ) xxx J xxx”.

I’ve decided that from now on, when I get a continuing message, I’ll just write it down as if it’s one.

A bit later on he said, “REALLY REALLY REALLY CAN’T WAIT! YOU WILL TEXT ME WHEN YOU’RE ALL ON THE COACH WON’T YOU?! I’M JUST WALKING ROUND – THEY’RE LOOKING FOR SOME DODGY COFFEE HOUSES! WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?? I’M SOOO EXCITED! – THIS HAS BEEN SO HORRIBLE! AND TOMORROW IT’LL ALL BE OVER – CAN’T WAIT! REALLY DO LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH! xJx”.

I agreed that it’s been horrible and stuff and then he said, “UURRGGHH! JUST WANT TO GET ON THAT TRAIN NOW! AT THEY VERY LEAST I SHOULD SEE YOU IN THE EVENINGS… SHOULDN’T I?? GONNA WANT TO BE WITH YOU ALL THE TIME! CAN’T PUT IN THIS OR ANY OTHER MSG HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!!! COS I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS! : ) YOU MAKE ME SOOO HAPPY! : ) STILL CAN’T WAIT! – HOPE YOU’VE GOT LOTS OF CREDIT FOR THIS COACH JOURNEY (WELL UNTIL YOU GET ON THE FERRY)! LEAST YOU SHOULDN’T FALL ASLEEP TONIGHT… SHOULD YOU! LOVE YOU LOTS!!! : ) xxx J xxx”,

I really can’t wait to see him! I just want to get there!

Bye!

Advising Cat on how she could repel Floyd – 18th & 19th July 2000

Tuesday 18th I’ve not really got much to tell today other than Jake’s location is now Liechtenstein.

We had our Au Revoir concert for Swing Band at the British Legion in the village tonight so now I really feel like I should be going to Holland soon! 🙂

Swing Band British Legion

[My eyes were glowing with all that enthusiasm.]

Bye!

Wednesday 19th Only a couple of days and I’ll see Jake again hopefully! Nothing much happened again today but in Biology, Jake and I were exchanging messages as usual and he told me that he’d just seen a shop called Tess! Then I’d just been advising Cat on how she could repel Floyd and one of my suggestions had been snogging Charlie Wilson in Holland! I asked Jake’s opinion and he suggested exactly the same thing! Anyway, he told me that he’d been cycling in Zurich and he’s going to Amsterdam tonight.

I had my blood test results back and it turns out that I did just have tonsillitis so I let Jake know. He said it was good and then, “YOU KNOW I CAN’T RESIST YOU! I’D BE ALL OVER YOU EVEN IF YOU HAD SOME DEADLY VIRUS! : ) WE SHOULD GO AS A PAIR TO FREDA’S FANCY DRESS PARTY SO WE KINDA MATCH! : ) : ) : ) GET TO SEE YOU SOON! x”.

I told him it’d make it more difficult to decide what to go as to the party if we did that, when in actual fact I just don’t want to do that cos it’s a bit sad! I pointed out that we only have about one day to go and he said, “OK IT WOULD MAKE IT A BIT HARDER! YEH – 1 DAY! : ) SOUNDS SOOO GOOD! SEEMS SO LONG AGO SINCE I LAST SAW YOU! JUST CAN’T BELIEVE I’M GONNA SEE YOU…” and then, “WE’VE HAD TO MSG EACH OTHER AND TALK ON THE PHONE FOR 3 WEEKS! FROM FRI I CAN PUT MY PHONE AWAY AND GET MY LONG OVERDUE HUGS/CUDDLES/KISSES! LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH! x”.

I warned him that my phone doesn’t work abroad so I won’t be able to text him for most of my journey but he said, “NOT TEXTING ME IS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY SEEING AS WE’RE GONNA SEE EACH OTHER! : ) I CAN’T CONCENTRATE EITHER – BUT I DON’T HAVE MUCH TO THINK ABOUT…” and, “WHICH LEAVES ME LOTS OF TIME TO THINK ABOUT YOU! : ) I’M ON A TRAIN NOW UNTIL 9 AM TOMORROW – IT’S GONNA GO SOOO SLOWLY! I’M GONNA HAVE THE BIGGEST SMILE…” and lastly, “IN THE WORLD WHEN I SEE YOU GET OFF THAT COACH! I’M GONNA BE SOOO HAPPY! I’M LIKE A LITTLE KID WHO CAN’T WAIT TO OPEN HIS XMAS PRESENTS! WANT YOU NOW – CAN’T WAIT! Jx”.

When I got back from kickboxing (which was horrible and hard tonight!), I had a message from Jake saying, “UH! WON’T BE ABLE TO SLEEP TONIGHT! CAN’T STOP REMEMBERING THEN THINKING! SOOO EXCITED! IN FACT I WON’T BE ABLE TO SLEEP FOR THE NEXT WEEK – WON’T WANT TO LEAVE YOU! x”.

I told him I’ll just have to escape if I’m made to stay in my room and he said, “YEH YOU WILL – ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE MADE TO GO TO BED REALLY EARLY! I’LL STAY THERE IF THEY’VE GOT A ROOM – IF NOT I DON’T KNOW! HOPE THERE IS COS I WANT TO BE WITH…” and, “YOU AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE! KNOWING MY LUCK YOU’LL BE STAYING IN A TINY HOTEL MILES FROM ANYWHERE! CAN YOU SEND ME THE NUMBER OF THE HOTEL TOMORROW?! LOVE Jx”.

Then my last message from him said, “AT LEAST IT LOOKS LIKE I’VE GOT A SEAT ON THE COACH – THAT’S THE MAIN THING! JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU – ALL THE TIME! I’M SOOO HAPPY THAT I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU! xxx JAKE xxx”.

I’m happy that he is too!

Bye!

I’m beginning to think that boy’s blind! – 17th July 2000

Monday 17th I had a minor text argument with Jake last night! It started off when I mentioned that Abby had Connor round again yesterday evening and that it wasn’t fair, meaning that they’re always together and we haven’t seen each other for ages. To that, Jake said, “I KNOW THIS IS TORTURE BUT IT WILL BE SOOO NICE WHEN WE’RE TOGETHER AGAIN! YEH THEY DO SEEM TO SEE A LOT OF EACH OTHER – BUT SHE HAS FINISHED SCHOOL AND…” and then, “I WOULDN’T FEEL RIGHT SPENDING WHOLE DAYS N NIGHTS AT YOUR HOUSE – IT’S NOT REALLY FAIR! LOVE YOU!!! : ) xJx”.

I agreed and said I’d much rather get of the house anyway and Jake then came out with, “WE ARE MUCH DIFFERENT TO YOUR SIS N CONNOR ANYWAY – FOR A START WE ARE MUCH QUIETER (WELL I AM ANYWAY) AND I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKE THEM OR COMPARED TO THEM!…” and then, “WE ARE WHO WE ARE AND I’M HAPPY ABOUT THAT – I LOVE YOU, NOT YOUR SIS! CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU EITHER! IT WILL BE SOOO GOOD AND WELL WORTH THE WAIT! REALLY LOVE YOU! x”.

That message was the one that began to annoy me cos some of the stuff he said was unprovoked so I asked why he’d said that about loving me and not my sis and I told him I hadn’t compared anyone! I also asked what brought it on and he said, “JUST THE WAY YOU TALK ABOUT THEM! I KNOW YOU DON’T LIKE HIM BEING THERE ALL THE TIME! MEANT THAT WE ARE WELL SUITED!! MAYBE THEY ARE TOO!??” LOVE xJx”.

That message irritated me further so I asked why he was so bothered. He said, “YOU’RE ALWAYS MOANING THAT HE’S ALWAYS AT YOUR HOUSE OR WITH YOUR SIS – IT DOESN’T MATTER! I JUST DON’T LIKE BEING COMPARED – NOT THAT I WAS! I LIKE TO BE…” and, “DIFFERENT THAT’S ALL! IF YOU UNDERSTOOD ME IT WOULD BE BORING WOULDN’T IT!?! I KNOW I COME OUT WITH FUNNY STUFF BUT I WOULDN’T BE ME IF I DIDN’T! : ) LOVE xJx”.

Those messages just made him sound full of himself! I began to get upset after that cos I hadn’t compared him to anyone so I didn’t really understand what I’d said to annoy him. Plus I was angry too and it was late so I was tired. I couldn’t leave it though cos I don’t like going to sleep with an argument going on so I sent him another telling him I didn’t even know what I’d said. He told me, “I CAN’T REMEMBER EITHER – JUST FORGET I SAID IT! : ) JUST YOU SOUND JEALOUS SOMETIMES COS THEY’RE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME AND WE’RE NOT! IN A WAY THAT MEANS WE…” and then, “HAVE A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP – IF WE CAN STILL LOVE EACH OTHER THIS MUCH EVEN WHEN WE’RE HUNDREDS OF MILES APART FOR SO LONG! REALLY HAPPY THAT’S ALL! : ) LOVE xJx”.

I told him that I’m not exactly happy right now and said that maybe I was a bit jealous, especially when Connor and Abby parade around in front of me. Jake said, “AAH! I’M SORRY! : ( YOU’LL BE HAPPY SOON – JUST WISH IT WAS SEPTEMBER – THEN I WOULDN’T BE GOING ANYWHERE! LOVE xJx”.

I felt like sending him another asking what made him think I’d be so happy! Instead I just left it and went to sleep cos I’d got the apology I wanted!

This morning I sent Jake a message when I found out that one of the teachers isn’t going to Valkenburg to tell him there might be a spare seat on the coach. He replied said, “OH GOOD! : ) (NOT THAT SHE’S IN HOSPITAL THOUGH!) I’M SORRY ABOUT WHAT I SAID LAST NIGHT! I’M JUST VERY UPTIGHT AND CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU! LOTS OF LOVE xJx”.

I didn’t send one back all day, partly because I felt like worrying him for upsetting me but also cos I wanted to see if he’d send me a message without me sending one first.

Finally, at 3:54, he said, “HI! ARE YOU UPSET WITH ME? : ( WE’VE JUST ARRIVED IN RADSTADT! HAVING A DRINK AT THE SONNEGG BAR! ARE YOU ALRIGHT? SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT – I HAVEN’T STOPPED…” and then, “THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL DAY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?? LOVE YOU! xxx JAKE xxx”.

After that, I was satisfied he was sorry so I replied. I told him he had upset me a bit but that I was okay now and told him we’ve got a new car (it’s a green Ford Mondeo). He said, “I DON’T KNOW WHY I SAID WHAT I SAID AND I’M REALLY SORRY! WHAT CAR HAVE YOU GOT THEN? IT’S SOOO WEIRD BEING HERE – OHH THE MEMORIES! CAN’T STAY AT THE HOSTEL : ( LOVE xJx”.

I asked what it was that I said that annoyed him and he told me, “IT WAS WHEN YOU SAID THAT IT WASN’T FAIR THAT THEY SEE EACH OTHER SO MUCH! THOUGHT YOU WERE SAYING IT WAS MY FAULT! JUST PUT IT BEHIND US AND LOOK FORWARD TO…” and then, “NEXT WEEK! I WAS JUST HAVING A HORRIBLE DAY AND WAS IN A BAD MOOD, THAT’S ALL – WASN’T YOUR FAULT! : ) LOVE xJx”. I told him I never said it was his fault and then we just decided not to mention it again.

Jake phoned me tonight. He told me about Radstadt and where he’s going next and everything. I had nothing to tell him at all! I then mentioned me being ill and he started asking why I’d been on antibiotics for a long time before I didn’t want to tell him it was for my skin so I said something about a throat infection.

Then he said something about me being ill 3 times in 5 months or something. I think it annoyed me cos he keeps bringing it up and sounding as if he think I’m really weak and sickly or something. So, I started saying, “Haven’t you got to phone Gethin or something?” and he started groaning, saying he’d rather speak to me and stuff.

It wasn’t until I got off the phone that I started thinking. I think I kept getting annoyed with him more than I normally would cos, deep down, I’m blaming him for making me even more miserable by going away. The fact that I’ve had a really crap time since he went away and he’s having a good one adds to the jealousy factor and all. It shouldn’t be like that! I was happy before and I’m just not now. I’m so worried that it won’t go back to how it was again. I can’t even remember all that well what it was like to be with him. This cannot be good!

I’ve just sent Jake another message saying how I really do hope we get back to normal and being happy cos I’ve had a horrible few weeks. He said, “I REALLY MISS OUR FRIDAY NIGHTS TOGETHER! : ( WANT TO GET BACK TO NORMAL! IF MISS M’S NOT GOING THERE’S NO REASON WHY I CAN’T SEE YOU!? YOU SAID YOU’D HAVE TO BE V UNLUCKY!…” and then, “THIS WILL ALL BE OVER SOON! JUST WANNA GET BACK TO WALKING BACK FROM THE DOG ETC… MISS YOU, MISS THE CUDDLES, MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! I CAN’T IMAGINE…” and then, “BEING WITH OR LOVING ANYONE ELSE AS MUCH AS YOU! x”.

Okay, that’s all it took to cheer me up! I hope that was from him alone and he wasn’t surrounded by his mates giggling at him! It was very soppy but so what?! It was lovely to read and I need to read something like that!

Just as I thought that was the last of the messages, I got another 2 saying, “YOU’RE MY PROPER FIRST GIRLFRIEND AND THE FIRST PERSON I’VE EVER LOVED! WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER! YOU’RE A SPECIAL PERSON AND YOU’RE SO IMPORTANT TO ME!…” and then, “I HAVEN’T GOT MUCH ELSE TO LIVE FOR! JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER! CAN’T EXPRESS THAT ENOUGH! YOU KNOW THAT DON’T YOU?! YOU’RE THE BEST THING IN MY LIFE! xJx”.

I sent one back reassuring him that I feel the same and he said, “YEH I THINK I KNOW HOW MUCH I MEAN TO YOU – BUT ONLY YOU CAN KNOW THAT! CAN’T PUT HOW I FEEL INTO WORDS EITHER! YOU ARE SPECIAL TO ME – YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU x”. [I suspect he’d had a few bevvies that evening!]

Erm… no I’m not!! I’m beginning to think that boy’s blind! Maybe he’s forgotten what I look like or something!

Next I got, “YOU MAKE ME SOOO HAPPY TOO! DON’T EVER WANT TO FALL OUT WITH YOU! NEARLY JUST GOT LOCKED IN THE BAR SONNEGG CLUB – AND LEFT MY PHONE! : ( LOVE YOU!!! : ) xJx”.

That ended up being the last one, I think.

Bye!

I’m not sure what he’s got in mind for that tent! – 16th July 2000

Sunday 16th I’ve still not had a postcard from Jake and he says he’s sent me a 3rd one too. I wish they’d hurry up and get here! He was on a train to Linz in Austria when I texted him this morning.

My cousins went home to Wick this morning. I’d rather they could’ve stayed a bit longer cos I hardly ever see them and I like doing so.

I was bored so I sent Jake another message telling him they’d left but that I’d gained a pair of Grumpy pyjamas from Disney World. He said, “OH – YOU’LL HAVE TO WEAR THEM AT FREDA’S PARTY! WELL MAYBE NOT TO HER PARTY BUT AFTERWARDS! : ) IT’S NOT VERY WARM HERE! MISS YOU! : ( : ( : ( LOVE xJx”.

I told him that I probably wouldn’t take the pyjamas cos I’m not expecting to sleep and he said, “NO! YOU WON’T BE SLEEPING – WE’VE GOTTA MAKE UP FOR ALL THIS TIME APART!!! : ) ONLY 5 MORE COUNTRIES BEFORE I GET TO YOU! LOVE YOU LOADS! : ) xxx JAKE xxx”.

I’m not sure what he’s got in mind for that tent!

Bye!

Crunching ice cubes on my own – 15th July 2000

Saturday 15th My cousins, Auntie S and Uncle G arrived back here from Florida this morning. She must have been jetlagged but my cousin Rhian insisted that she felt alright enough to come to the Trafford Centre with me and Gethin. So the 3 of us went and the other 2 seemed to get on okay. I couldn’t get a word in edgeways! I bought a bag but that was about it cos all we did was wander round. We got the bus back just in time for a Chinese takeaway at my house.

It’s Gethin’s 17th birthday today so he, Floyd and I were all going round to Sarah’s house so we could give him his cards and stuff. Rhian came too in the end. We didn’t do much there either except watch Romeo and Juliet and then a couple of episodes of the Queer As Folk video we bought Gethin.

Gethin told me today that Jake had phoned him last night and told him what he’d found me. Gethin told me it’s a really big pinecone plus some other stuff. I wish he hadn’t told me cos I know Jake didn’t want me to know. Gethin also told me that Jake told him that he would never have been going on the cruise or to Canada if he’d have known what it was like to be split up from me!

Jake actually tried to phone me at about 1:00 am today. I’d been asleep but dreaming about my phone ringing and then I woke up to 2 missed calls! He tried again and I picked it up but nothing happened and then I got an anonymous call which I assume was him too. Before he’d tried to phone, I’d had a message saying, “HELLO! : ) NO YOU HAVEN’T WOKEN ME! I’M NOT PLANNING ON SLEEPING – WE’RE IN THE BAR DROWNING OUR SORROWS!! SAY HELLO TO RHIAN! HOPE THEY HAD A GOOD TIME! LOVE xJx”.

Going from that I assumed he was drunk cos he never rings me at night. I sent him a message asking what he wanted and asking why he was drowning his sorrows and something about Gethin always ending up telling me stuff that he thinks I don’t know. He replied, “BUT GETHIN DOESN’T KNOW STUFF! WE WERE DROWNING OUR SORROWS COS I’M MISSING YOU, ARRAN’S MISSING HIS GIRLF, ROB HAS GONE TO BED AND ALI WAS UNHAPPY – BUT HE JUST PULLED…” and then, “A POLISH GIRL! SO DID YOU GO OUT TONIGHT?? I WAS JUST TALKING TO GETHIN ABOUT HIS JOB AND WHERE I’D BEEN – THAT’S ALL! LOVE xJx”.

I didn’t reply to that last message cos I fell asleep but this morning I sent him one asking if he had tried to phone cos I wasn’t sure if I’d dreamt it or not. He said, “YEH I DID RING! SORRY (AGAIN) REALLY DIDN’T MEAN TO WAKE YOU UP AT THAT TIME! I THINK THE ALCOHOL MADE ME DEPRESSED! FELT SO LONELY! JUST GONNA GO TO BED…” then, “EARLY FROM NOW ON! JUST CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU THAT’S ALL! : ) HAVE YOU GOT MY POSTCARD YET?? LOVE xxxx J xxxx”.

That made me feel sorry for him when he said he felt lonely! I haven’t had another postcard yet.

Later on at the Trafford Centre I sent him a message from Starbucks saying it wasn’t the same crunching ice cubes on my own! He said, “NO IT CAN’T BE THE SAME! : ( DID YOU GET ALL MY MSGS?? OR DID I BLOCK YOUR SIM? WE’RE IN THE CENTRE OF THE OLD TOWN IN PRAGUE LISTENING TO THE JAZZ FESTIVAL!” He also told me that he thinks it’s beautiful there. He probably doesn’t mean it but he doesn’t half rub it in!

I then told him that there are too many things in the Trafford Centre that remind me of him and he said, “WELL THERE’S NOT MUCH TO REMIND ME OF YOU HERE! OHH – THAT’S UNTIL I SAT DOWN FOR SOMETHING TO EAT NEXT TO SHOP CALLED TESSA!!! UNBELIEVABLE! LOVE YOU!!! : ) xxx”.

When I was at Sarah’s this evening we got back onto the subject of him ringing last night. Jake said, “JUST FELT SOOO LONELY AND TOO FAR AWAY – STILL DO! WANT HUGS/CUDDLES/KISSES NOW! UURRGHH! : ( GOTTA GET A TRAIN! LOVE YOU TOO!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx”. Then later he said, “JUST WANTED TO SPEAK TO YOU COS I MISS YOU! I’LL RING YOU WHEN I’M IN RADSTADT ON MONDAY! : ) REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU!!! x”.

When I got home I told him we’d been watching Romeo and Juliet and he said, “AHH I LOVE THAT FILM! WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO GO TO SARAH’S WITHOUT YOU – IT WOULDN’T BE THE SAME SAT ON “OUR SOFA” ON MY OWN! TRY AND ENJOY THE FILM! I’M THINKING OF YOU x”.

I then told him about Sarah handing me a book of her mum’s on cruises and he said, “WELL THAT’S NASTY! THEY’RE NOT BEING V. NICE TO YOU AT THE MOMENT ARE THEY?! SO DID YOU WATCH ALL OF THE FILM? WHEN ARE YOUR COUSINS GOING BACK AGAIN? – YOU DID SAY! x”

I told him we only watched it until it got nasty and that it was making me feel more miserable anyway. Jake said, “UUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHHH! MISS YOU SOOO MUCH – I’M MISERABLE TOO! WE’RE A RIGHT PAIR AREN’T WE! IT’S GOING REALLY QUICK NOW – NOT LONG LEFT! GLAD I FEEL LIKE THIS ABOUT YOU! x”.

I told him that it seems to be going really slowly to me and he said, “WELL IT’S NOT THAT FAR OFF EITHER WAY! WANT U IN THAT TENT TOO! : ) CAN’T WAIT! SPOSE WE CAN’T HAVE THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS! IF WE LOVE EACH OTHER WE’LL HAVE TO…” and then, “PUT UP WITH MISSING EACH OTHER LIKE THIS! MUCH RATHER IT WAS THIS WAY ROUND! : ) NIGHT NIGHT! LOVE YOU! xxx JAKE xxx”.

He’s right again!

Bye!

Hayley’s suddenly decided to speak to us all again – 12th July 2000

Wednesday 12th Back to college today. Hayley’s suddenly decided to speak to us all again now Georgia Dean’s gone off to join the police. She says she’ll never be able to trust Sarah again apparently but I think that it should be the other way round.

I got told by the IT teacher that I passed my INIT exam [I have no idea what this was.] with distinction so I either got 98%, 99% or 100%! It wasn’t exactly difficult though really!

Jake was in Venice at lunchtime and had a 16 hour train journey to Budapest ahead of him. I texted him to tell him that Cat reckons he’s really lucky and his reply to me was, “I AM LUCKY THAT I’M ON THIS TRIP – I’M ALSO LUCKY THAT I’M GOING ON THE CRUISE BUT I’M EVEN MORE LUCKY HAVING YOU! THE CRUISE IS ONLY 10 NIGHTS – THAT’S NOTHING…” and then, “COMPARED TO THIS! ALTHOUGH I’M MISSING YOU MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY, THE THOUGHT OF SEEING YOU AND THERE BEING 1 LESS DAY EVERY DAY MAKES IT A BIT BETTER! : )”.

Well, we’ve only got about a week left to go now hopefully!

Bye!

A manky old tent with cranes sticking out of it – 11th July 2000

Tuesday 11th Cat’s alarm woke us up at 6:30 am so we could all have showers so I’ve been knackered all day! We had breakfast and then set off for the Millennium Dome for our concerts.

We went in through some back entrance and then we were allowed to look around before setting up for our first concert. I was with Cat most of the time and we agreed that the whole thing’s just plain weird! It’s just some of the sculptures and stuff that makes it so odd. It was the pointed foot on the body zone that kept us laughing though!

Millennium Dome foot

The first concert went really well. One of the sound guys put a microphone right by my flute which I didn’t like but all together it sounded good and we were being played on speakers all over the dome. Some guy who works there (he looked important) came and told us that they’ve seen a lot of bands play but we really stood out as being good and all the backstage staff had said we were nice to work with! Apparently they want us back! People were dancing to us and everything!

Millennium Dome Swing Band

We all got a free McDonald’s for lunch and then went to watch the show they put on. The story line that they put up on the screen about ‘Skyboy’ and the other characters was a bit strange but the music and the dance etc. was really good. We had our second successful concert after it.

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My camera stopped working so I bought this postcard from the shop instead. →

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The place actually looks nice on there but in daylight it looks horrible! It looks like a manky old tent with cranes sticking out of it!!

I also bought couple of keyrings so Jake can have the free one cos the woman in the shop undercharged me!

I had a few messages off Jake today. He was saying how when he next sees me, he’s going to hug me so much that nobody’ll be able to separate us! Then he told me that he’s in Florence but the youth hostel they were going to stay in is full so he told me, “WE’VE GOTTA GO TO BOLOGNA! IF THAT’S FULL WE’LL BE SPENDING ANOTHER NIGHT ON THE PLATFORM! FINISHED PLAYING NOW? LOTS OF LOVE!!! xxx J xxx”.

Then later he sent me a message saying, “I’M LOOKING AT THE PHOTOS, LISTENING TO LONESTAR, SMELLING MY WATCH STRAP AND LOOKING AT MY NAIL! YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME! CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU! LOVE YOU! x”.

We went straight home from the dome (Ha! That rhymes!!) and it seemed to take ages. I got in at about 11:30 pm and I’m so tired!

Bye!

An iron mark on the carpet and scally lads outside – 10th July 2000

Monday 10th This morning seemed to last for ages because the coach to take us Swing Band lot to London didn’t come until lunch so we had to do lessons. Hayley was still being a moody cow so I felt a bit sorry for Sarah when I had to leave her!

Keira Osborne, Emma Thornley, Christa East, Cat Elliot and I all claimed the back seat of the coach and had loads of room because we were by the emergency exit. The journey was really boring but I kept getting texts from Jake which helped ease the boredom every so often. Jake told me that he’s going to Florence tomorrow and should be in Prague on Friday. Then I did a quiz in someone’s Cosmopolitan magazine on my perfect holiday destination. Mine came out at Prague! How weird is that?!!

Cat sent Jake a quick message too saying she wished she was travelling around Europe and in his reply he told her that he’d happily swap with her cos he misses me! How sweet! 🙂

I sent him a message myself again later and told him not to chase any foreign girls or anything (I was only kidding) and he said, “HUH CHEEK – YOU KNOW I WOULDN’T EVER THINK ABOUT DOING ANYTHING LIKE THAT! : ( I’VE TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT I’M SENTIMENTAL! WE SHOULD BE IN THE SAME HOSTEL WE STAYED IN AT RADSTADT WITH SCHOOL.”

When we reached London, the coach driver took us all through the centre which was absolute torture for me cos there were so many signs with the word ‘Canada’ on them! We then took a wrong turning past Canada Water Station so I was reminded again of the fact Jake’s going off to be a ski instructor for 3 months! Then we went past Starbucks where we both go! 😦

I told Jake about it and he texted me back saying, “I TOLD YOU IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS… WHEN IN MCDONALD’S, FOR SOME REASON “TESS” WAS PRINTED ON THE SIDE OF BUS THAT WENT PAST! : ( V. UPSETTING! MISS YOU TOO!”

Then the realisation must have kicked in cos he then said, “WOW – SOOO WEIRD! THERE’S SO MUCH WEIRD STUFF GOING ON – NOT JUST NOW BUT ALL THAT STUFF WE LISTED IN THE DOG TOO! I’M NOT RELIGIOUS BUT SOMEONE UP THERE IS…” and then, “TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING! WE’VE DEFINITELY GOT SOMETHING SPECIAL! TRY NOT TO GET TOO UPSET! THIS IS HORRIBLE BUT IT’LL BE OVER SOON! : ) LOVE xJx”.

When we arrived at Rotherhithe Youth Hostel we were all given our room keys. I was sharing with the people I’d been sat with on the coach plus Maeve Ackerley. The room was 219 and wasn’t too bad at all. We had an iron mark on the carpet and scally lads outside the window but the beds were cool! There were 2 sets of 3 and they were sort of all piled up. I got the top bunk on mine!

Millennium Dome '00 Tess

The cool beds and our cool Swing Band attire.

We didn’t do much all evening. We were either in our rooms or at the bar. Henry Rockwell fancies Maeve quite a lot so he was in our room most of the time too!

I had some last night messages from Jake on the subject of Canada. He said he’d love me to go and see him while he’s there and I said I wish I could but I can’t really see it happening. Then he said, “I REALLY WANT YOU TO COME BUT IT’S A LONG TIME TIL I GO! IF THERE’S ANY WAY YOU COULD COME IN FEB HALF TERM THEN I’M TAKING YOU! YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO STAY IN MY ROOM ALL OF THE TIME… JUST SOME OF IT!”

That would be so good cos I can’t possibly last 3 months without him and not go mad or something but it’d be expensive and I’ve got college and stuff. I suppose we’ll have to see.

Bye!

SHE IS NOT MY BEST MATE!!! – 7th July 2000

Friday 7th I didn’t go to college again because I seem to have scarlet fever or something now!

Sarah came round too cos she was skiving college (hope she doesn’t catch it!) to avoid Hayley who’s still being her bitchy little self! It’s all over Hayley reading a bit out of Sarah’s diary about her being hypocritical an also something about Lena and then went round telling everyone which is totally out of order.

Sarah’s very rightly annoyed with Hayley and Hayley’s annoyed with Sarah for being annoyed with her. Follow?! Now I’ve been dragged into it somehow cos Hayley’s been slagging me off to various people, saying how a best mate should be loyal and stick by her and stuff. She’s just trying to shift the guilt onto someone else cos she knows she’s the one that’s wrong but:

  1. I’ve not said a word about it to her since it all started so how does she know I’m being disloyal? (As it happens, I’ll be siding with Sarah on this one if she brings it up!)
  2. SHE IS NOT MY BEST MATE!!! It’s all in her head! Twisted cow!

Anyway, Sarah and I spent the day happily distorting photos of Hayley’s face on the computer! 🙂

I’ve had loads of messages from Jake today. I sent the first one asking what he was doing and he told me, “I’M SITTING ON A VERY LONG TRAIN JOURNEY TO ROME! IT’S NOT THAT HOT TODAY BUT IT’S REALLY BORING! DO YOU FEEL ANY BETTER?? FEEL AWFUL COS I’M NOT WITH YOU! LOVE xJx”.

I then told him that if he was with me then he’d only end up catching it but he said, “I WOULDN’T MIND CATCHING IT IF IT MEANT I COULD SEE YOU! YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO KEEP ME AWAY FROM YOU! LOVE YOU! x”.

I then pointed out that in 2 weeks’ time I should be in Valkenburg and his reaction was, “YIPPEEE! CAN’T WAIT! YOU BETTER GET WELL BEFORE THEN! HOLLAND SEEMS SO FAR AWAY – IN DISTANCE AND TIME! WANT IT TO HURRY UP – LOOKING FORWARD TO IT SOOO MUCH! xJx”.

I sent him another after that saying how I had a concert at the Parr Hall with Swing Band tonight but it took him a while to reply. He said, “SORRY I  HAVEN’T REPLIED – JUST GOT TO CHARLIE’S AUNT’S HOUSE IN ROME! DON’T DO THE CONCERT – I WANT YOU TO GET BETTER – STAY IN AND REST! : ) NOT BEEN A WEEK YET!…” Then I got the same one again and then another similar one. He must have thought it hadn’t sent! He said, “SORRY I HAVEN’T REPLIED – JUST GOT TO ROME! DON’T DO THE CONCERT – I WANT YOU TO GET BETTER SO REST INSTEAD! : ) THIS IS THE 1ST FRI NIGHT WITHOUT YOU FOR AGES!! : ( xJx”.

Then almost straight away I got, “HAH! FORGOT TO SAY – THIS AMERICAN GIRL ON THE TRAIN WAS READING THIS SOPPY ROMANTIC NOVEL AND THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS CALLED TESSA! SHE KEPT READING BITS AND LAUGHING AT ME x”.

After I’d done with the concert (which was okay) I sent him another message asking why she’d been laughing and telling him what I’d just done for Swing Band. I also mentioned Hayley being a cow. He said, “TOLD YOU NOT TO! CHARLIE IS LAUGHING COS HE MISSED IT! SHE WAS LAUGHING COS IT WAS SO SOPPY – SHE SAID I WAS THE MAN IN IT! THEY THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY NICE THAT…” then, “WE SEND MSGS TO EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME! HAYLEY IS TWISTED! HOW DO YOU KNOW HAYLEY’S ANNOYED WITH YOU? FROM SARAH? x”.

I told him that Gethin, Freda and Henry Rockwell had all told me that she’d been slagging me off. Then he said, “OHHH THINGS AREN’T GOING YOUR WAY AT THE MINUTE ARE THEY?! YOU’RE ILL, HAYLEY’S BEING A BITCH AND I’M HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY : (…” then I got a really nice one which cheered me up saying, “I MAY BE ALL THE WAY IN ITALY BUT I’M WITH YOU ALL THE TIME, JUST LIKE YOU’RE WITH ME ALL THE TIME – IN MY HEART AND ON MY MIND… PERMANENTLY! : ) LOVE YOU LOTS! xJx”.

That was very soppy but very sweet! I bet he was reading a romantic novel himself on that train!

I agreed with him that things aren’t going my way and told him that I now seem to have a scarletina type thing, and he said, “PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE JOKING! SCARLET FEVER?? : ( HAVE YOU BEEN TO THE DOCTOR’S? I’M REALLY REALLY SORRY I’M NOT THERE FOR YOU! xxx JAKE xxx”.

I told him that he didn’t have to apologise cos I wouldn’t see much of him even if he was here cos I’m ill so he said, “I’M SORRY – JUST IT’S NOT A NICE THING TO HAVE! : ( : ( THIS IS ALL SOOO BAD! : ( : ( I’D BETTER LET YOU SLEEP THEN! HOPE U FEEL BETTER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! ALL MY LOVE! x”.

I then told him that I didn’t want to sleep so to keep texting (unless he did) and I told him not to feel bad. He sent me 2 back saying, “I WORRY COS YOU’RE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE! : ) IF I WASN’T – I’D BE WORRYING ABOUT HOW THE HELL I’M GETTING BACK TONIGHT – I’M LOST IN THE MIDDLE OF ROME! xJx”. Then, “OH! AND I DON’T NEED SLEEP SO KEEP TEXTING AND I’LL ASSUME YOU’VE FALLEN ASLEEP WHEN I DON’T GET ANY MORE! LOVE YOU! x”.

I then told him I was a bit worried about him once he’d said he was lost but he said, “HAH – DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME! CHARLIE IS GONNA LEAD US HOME… HE HOPES! NO DON’T MIND IF YOU HIT HAYLEY AT DENNY’S – YOU WOULD BE V. POPULAR! R U GONNA GO FEELING LIKE THIS?? LOVE xJx”.

I told him that I AM going to Denny’s cos I’ve missed out on enough already while I’ve been ill! I also told him that Ed reckons I’ve got ‘missing Jakey sydrome’ and Jake said, “WELL DON’T MAKE YOURSELF ANY WORSE! IF THAT’S ALL YOU’VE GOT – THAT’S OK! YOU’VE ONLY GOT 2 MORE WEEKS THEN YOU’LL BE FINE! MY BATTERY MAY DIE SOON – SO DON’T WORRY…” then, “IF I DON’T REPLY – I HAVEN’T BEEN RUN DOWN BY A CRAZY ITALIAN MAN ON A SCOOTER! LOTS OF LOVE… AGAIN! xJx”.

Later on at about 12:15 am, I got another message saying, “JUST GOT BACK! AND FOUND A PLUG SOCKET! HOW’S ABOUT YOU’RE ALLOWED TO WORRY ABOUT ME AS LONG AS I CAN WORRY ABOUT YOU? ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS…” and then, “YOUR CUTE LITTLE FACE, YOUR LOVELY EYES AND SCRUNCHED UP NOSE ALL LOOKING AT ME! THERE’S NOTHING I WOULD CHANGE ABOUT YOU! – YOU’RE JUST PERFECT! REALLY DO LOVE YOU.”

That was very nice to read but I pointed out that right now I’ve got a pink little face, a stuffed up nose and I can’t look at anything properly cos my eyes won’t focus! I also told him not to be put off by that though! He replied, “AHH! YOU’RE JUST SO SWEET! I CAN JUST PICTURE YOU NOW! WOULDN’T BE PUT OFF – EVER! I KNOW I SAY IT ALL THE TIME – BUT YOU’RE JUST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE – YOU REALLY ARE!”

I don’t think anyone else would agree! I don’t actually know what I’ve done to make him think that either cos I wouldn’t have thought I’m anything special! I told him that I thought it was the other way round and he said, “WELL WE’RE BOTH REALLY LUCKY THEN! I THINK WE’RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER! I’M LYING IN BED LISTENING TO THAT LONESTAR SONG – THE LYRICS SUM UP EXACTLY HOW I FEEL! xJx”.

That’s really weird cos I thought that and I told him that. He then said, “WOW! WE ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER! I LISTEN TO IT EVERY NIGHT! IT’S A BIT DEPRESSING NOW THOUGH!” That really is freaky cos it used to be one of the ones I listened to a lot at night until he went away cos it was depressing!

I asked him if he was joking and told him that! He said, “NO I’M NOT JOKING! : ) OHH I REALLY CAN’T WAIT 2 WEEKS! BETTER GO TO SLEEP NOW THOUGH – DON’T WANT TO BUT I’M AN HOUR AHEAD AND HAVE A BUSY DAY TOMORROW! I’LL PHONE YOU! x”. That was the last message I got tonight.

Looks like I’ll have to get a new diary then. I’ll probably use this purple hardback notebook I think I’ve got. See you there!

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