I’m not sure what he’s got in mind for that tent! – 16th July 2000

Sunday 16th I’ve still not had a postcard from Jake and he says he’s sent me a 3rd one too. I wish they’d hurry up and get here! He was on a train to Linz in Austria when I texted him this morning.

My cousins went home to Wick this morning. I’d rather they could’ve stayed a bit longer cos I hardly ever see them and I like doing so.

I was bored so I sent Jake another message telling him they’d left but that I’d gained a pair of Grumpy pyjamas from Disney World. He said, “OH – YOU’LL HAVE TO WEAR THEM AT FREDA’S PARTY! WELL MAYBE NOT TO HER PARTY BUT AFTERWARDS! : ) IT’S NOT VERY WARM HERE! MISS YOU! : ( : ( : ( LOVE xJx”.

I told him that I probably wouldn’t take the pyjamas cos I’m not expecting to sleep and he said, “NO! YOU WON’T BE SLEEPING – WE’VE GOTTA MAKE UP FOR ALL THIS TIME APART!!! : ) ONLY 5 MORE COUNTRIES BEFORE I GET TO YOU! LOVE YOU LOADS! : ) xxx JAKE xxx”.

I’m not sure what he’s got in mind for that tent!

Bye!

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Crunching ice cubes on my own – 15th July 2000

Saturday 15th My cousins, Auntie S and Uncle G arrived back here from Florida this morning. She must have been jetlagged but my cousin Rhian insisted that she felt alright enough to come to the Trafford Centre with me and Gethin. So the 3 of us went and the other 2 seemed to get on okay. I couldn’t get a word in edgeways! I bought a bag but that was about it cos all we did was wander round. We got the bus back just in time for a Chinese takeaway at my house.

It’s Gethin’s 17th birthday today so he, Floyd and I were all going round to Sarah’s house so we could give him his cards and stuff. Rhian came too in the end. We didn’t do much there either except watch Romeo and Juliet and then a couple of episodes of the Queer As Folk video we bought Gethin.

Gethin told me today that Jake had phoned him last night and told him what he’d found me. Gethin told me it’s a really big pinecone plus some other stuff. I wish he hadn’t told me cos I know Jake didn’t want me to know. Gethin also told me that Jake told him that he would never have been going on the cruise or to Canada if he’d have known what it was like to be split up from me!

Jake actually tried to phone me at about 1:00 am today. I’d been asleep but dreaming about my phone ringing and then I woke up to 2 missed calls! He tried again and I picked it up but nothing happened and then I got an anonymous call which I assume was him too. Before he’d tried to phone, I’d had a message saying, “HELLO! : ) NO YOU HAVEN’T WOKEN ME! I’M NOT PLANNING ON SLEEPING – WE’RE IN THE BAR DROWNING OUR SORROWS!! SAY HELLO TO RHIAN! HOPE THEY HAD A GOOD TIME! LOVE xJx”.

Going from that I assumed he was drunk cos he never rings me at night. I sent him a message asking what he wanted and asking why he was drowning his sorrows and something about Gethin always ending up telling me stuff that he thinks I don’t know. He replied, “BUT GETHIN DOESN’T KNOW STUFF! WE WERE DROWNING OUR SORROWS COS I’M MISSING YOU, ARRAN’S MISSING HIS GIRLF, ROB HAS GONE TO BED AND ALI WAS UNHAPPY – BUT HE JUST PULLED…” and then, “A POLISH GIRL! SO DID YOU GO OUT TONIGHT?? I WAS JUST TALKING TO GETHIN ABOUT HIS JOB AND WHERE I’D BEEN – THAT’S ALL! LOVE xJx”.

I didn’t reply to that last message cos I fell asleep but this morning I sent him one asking if he had tried to phone cos I wasn’t sure if I’d dreamt it or not. He said, “YEH I DID RING! SORRY (AGAIN) REALLY DIDN’T MEAN TO WAKE YOU UP AT THAT TIME! I THINK THE ALCOHOL MADE ME DEPRESSED! FELT SO LONELY! JUST GONNA GO TO BED…” then, “EARLY FROM NOW ON! JUST CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU THAT’S ALL! : ) HAVE YOU GOT MY POSTCARD YET?? LOVE xxxx J xxxx”.

That made me feel sorry for him when he said he felt lonely! I haven’t had another postcard yet.

Later on at the Trafford Centre I sent him a message from Starbucks saying it wasn’t the same crunching ice cubes on my own! He said, “NO IT CAN’T BE THE SAME! : ( DID YOU GET ALL MY MSGS?? OR DID I BLOCK YOUR SIM? WE’RE IN THE CENTRE OF THE OLD TOWN IN PRAGUE LISTENING TO THE JAZZ FESTIVAL!” He also told me that he thinks it’s beautiful there. He probably doesn’t mean it but he doesn’t half rub it in!

I then told him that there are too many things in the Trafford Centre that remind me of him and he said, “WELL THERE’S NOT MUCH TO REMIND ME OF YOU HERE! OHH – THAT’S UNTIL I SAT DOWN FOR SOMETHING TO EAT NEXT TO SHOP CALLED TESSA!!! UNBELIEVABLE! LOVE YOU!!! : ) xxx”.

When I was at Sarah’s this evening we got back onto the subject of him ringing last night. Jake said, “JUST FELT SOOO LONELY AND TOO FAR AWAY – STILL DO! WANT HUGS/CUDDLES/KISSES NOW! UURRGHH! : ( GOTTA GET A TRAIN! LOVE YOU TOO!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx”. Then later he said, “JUST WANTED TO SPEAK TO YOU COS I MISS YOU! I’LL RING YOU WHEN I’M IN RADSTADT ON MONDAY! : ) REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU!!! x”.

When I got home I told him we’d been watching Romeo and Juliet and he said, “AHH I LOVE THAT FILM! WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO GO TO SARAH’S WITHOUT YOU – IT WOULDN’T BE THE SAME SAT ON “OUR SOFA” ON MY OWN! TRY AND ENJOY THE FILM! I’M THINKING OF YOU x”.

I then told him about Sarah handing me a book of her mum’s on cruises and he said, “WELL THAT’S NASTY! THEY’RE NOT BEING V. NICE TO YOU AT THE MOMENT ARE THEY?! SO DID YOU WATCH ALL OF THE FILM? WHEN ARE YOUR COUSINS GOING BACK AGAIN? – YOU DID SAY! x”

I told him we only watched it until it got nasty and that it was making me feel more miserable anyway. Jake said, “UUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHHH! MISS YOU SOOO MUCH – I’M MISERABLE TOO! WE’RE A RIGHT PAIR AREN’T WE! IT’S GOING REALLY QUICK NOW – NOT LONG LEFT! GLAD I FEEL LIKE THIS ABOUT YOU! x”.

I told him that it seems to be going really slowly to me and he said, “WELL IT’S NOT THAT FAR OFF EITHER WAY! WANT U IN THAT TENT TOO! : ) CAN’T WAIT! SPOSE WE CAN’T HAVE THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS! IF WE LOVE EACH OTHER WE’LL HAVE TO…” and then, “PUT UP WITH MISSING EACH OTHER LIKE THIS! MUCH RATHER IT WAS THIS WAY ROUND! : ) NIGHT NIGHT! LOVE YOU! xxx JAKE xxx”.

He’s right again!

Bye!

Hayley’s suddenly decided to speak to us all again – 12th July 2000

Wednesday 12th Back to college today. Hayley’s suddenly decided to speak to us all again now Georgia Dean’s gone off to join the police. She says she’ll never be able to trust Sarah again apparently but I think that it should be the other way round.

I got told by the IT teacher that I passed my INIT exam [I have no idea what this was.] with distinction so I either got 98%, 99% or 100%! It wasn’t exactly difficult though really!

Jake was in Venice at lunchtime and had a 16 hour train journey to Budapest ahead of him. I texted him to tell him that Cat reckons he’s really lucky and his reply to me was, “I AM LUCKY THAT I’M ON THIS TRIP – I’M ALSO LUCKY THAT I’M GOING ON THE CRUISE BUT I’M EVEN MORE LUCKY HAVING YOU! THE CRUISE IS ONLY 10 NIGHTS – THAT’S NOTHING…” and then, “COMPARED TO THIS! ALTHOUGH I’M MISSING YOU MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY, THE THOUGHT OF SEEING YOU AND THERE BEING 1 LESS DAY EVERY DAY MAKES IT A BIT BETTER! : )”.

Well, we’ve only got about a week left to go now hopefully!

Bye!

A manky old tent with cranes sticking out of it – 11th July 2000

Tuesday 11th Cat’s alarm woke us up at 6:30 am so we could all have showers so I’ve been knackered all day! We had breakfast and then set off for the Millennium Dome for our concerts.

We went in through some back entrance and then we were allowed to look around before setting up for our first concert. I was with Cat most of the time and we agreed that the whole thing’s just plain weird! It’s just some of the sculptures and stuff that makes it so odd. It was the pointed foot on the body zone that kept us laughing though!

Millennium Dome foot

The first concert went really well. One of the sound guys put a microphone right by my flute which I didn’t like but all together it sounded good and we were being played on speakers all over the dome. Some guy who works there (he looked important) came and told us that they’ve seen a lot of bands play but we really stood out as being good and all the backstage staff had said we were nice to work with! Apparently they want us back! People were dancing to us and everything!

Millennium Dome Swing Band

We all got a free McDonald’s for lunch and then went to watch the show they put on. The story line that they put up on the screen about ‘Skyboy’ and the other characters was a bit strange but the music and the dance etc. was really good. We had our second successful concert after it.

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My camera stopped working so I bought this postcard from the shop instead. →

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The place actually looks nice on there but in daylight it looks horrible! It looks like a manky old tent with cranes sticking out of it!!

I also bought couple of keyrings so Jake can have the free one cos the woman in the shop undercharged me!

I had a few messages off Jake today. He was saying how when he next sees me, he’s going to hug me so much that nobody’ll be able to separate us! Then he told me that he’s in Florence but the youth hostel they were going to stay in is full so he told me, “WE’VE GOTTA GO TO BOLOGNA! IF THAT’S FULL WE’LL BE SPENDING ANOTHER NIGHT ON THE PLATFORM! FINISHED PLAYING NOW? LOTS OF LOVE!!! xxx J xxx”.

Then later he sent me a message saying, “I’M LOOKING AT THE PHOTOS, LISTENING TO LONESTAR, SMELLING MY WATCH STRAP AND LOOKING AT MY NAIL! YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME! CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU! LOVE YOU! x”.

We went straight home from the dome (Ha! That rhymes!!) and it seemed to take ages. I got in at about 11:30 pm and I’m so tired!

Bye!

An iron mark on the carpet and scally lads outside – 10th July 2000

Monday 10th This morning seemed to last for ages because the coach to take us Swing Band lot to London didn’t come until lunch so we had to do lessons. Hayley was still being a moody cow so I felt a bit sorry for Sarah when I had to leave her!

Keira Osborne, Emma Thornley, Christa East, Cat Elliot and I all claimed the back seat of the coach and had loads of room because we were by the emergency exit. The journey was really boring but I kept getting texts from Jake which helped ease the boredom every so often. Jake told me that he’s going to Florence tomorrow and should be in Prague on Friday. Then I did a quiz in someone’s Cosmopolitan magazine on my perfect holiday destination. Mine came out at Prague! How weird is that?!!

Cat sent Jake a quick message too saying she wished she was travelling around Europe and in his reply he told her that he’d happily swap with her cos he misses me! How sweet! 🙂

I sent him a message myself again later and told him not to chase any foreign girls or anything (I was only kidding) and he said, “HUH CHEEK – YOU KNOW I WOULDN’T EVER THINK ABOUT DOING ANYTHING LIKE THAT! : ( I’VE TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT I’M SENTIMENTAL! WE SHOULD BE IN THE SAME HOSTEL WE STAYED IN AT RADSTADT WITH SCHOOL.”

When we reached London, the coach driver took us all through the centre which was absolute torture for me cos there were so many signs with the word ‘Canada’ on them! We then took a wrong turning past Canada Water Station so I was reminded again of the fact Jake’s going off to be a ski instructor for 3 months! Then we went past Starbucks where we both go! 😦

I told Jake about it and he texted me back saying, “I TOLD YOU IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS… WHEN IN MCDONALD’S, FOR SOME REASON “TESS” WAS PRINTED ON THE SIDE OF BUS THAT WENT PAST! : ( V. UPSETTING! MISS YOU TOO!”

Then the realisation must have kicked in cos he then said, “WOW – SOOO WEIRD! THERE’S SO MUCH WEIRD STUFF GOING ON – NOT JUST NOW BUT ALL THAT STUFF WE LISTED IN THE DOG TOO! I’M NOT RELIGIOUS BUT SOMEONE UP THERE IS…” and then, “TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING! WE’VE DEFINITELY GOT SOMETHING SPECIAL! TRY NOT TO GET TOO UPSET! THIS IS HORRIBLE BUT IT’LL BE OVER SOON! : ) LOVE xJx”.

When we arrived at Rotherhithe Youth Hostel we were all given our room keys. I was sharing with the people I’d been sat with on the coach plus Maeve Ackerley. The room was 219 and wasn’t too bad at all. We had an iron mark on the carpet and scally lads outside the window but the beds were cool! There were 2 sets of 3 and they were sort of all piled up. I got the top bunk on mine!

Millennium Dome '00 Tess

The cool beds and our cool Swing Band attire.

We didn’t do much all evening. We were either in our rooms or at the bar. Henry Rockwell fancies Maeve quite a lot so he was in our room most of the time too!

I had some last night messages from Jake on the subject of Canada. He said he’d love me to go and see him while he’s there and I said I wish I could but I can’t really see it happening. Then he said, “I REALLY WANT YOU TO COME BUT IT’S A LONG TIME TIL I GO! IF THERE’S ANY WAY YOU COULD COME IN FEB HALF TERM THEN I’M TAKING YOU! YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO STAY IN MY ROOM ALL OF THE TIME… JUST SOME OF IT!”

That would be so good cos I can’t possibly last 3 months without him and not go mad or something but it’d be expensive and I’ve got college and stuff. I suppose we’ll have to see.

Bye!

SHE IS NOT MY BEST MATE!!! – 7th July 2000

Friday 7th I didn’t go to college again because I seem to have scarlet fever or something now!

Sarah came round too cos she was skiving college (hope she doesn’t catch it!) to avoid Hayley who’s still being her bitchy little self! It’s all over Hayley reading a bit out of Sarah’s diary about her being hypocritical an also something about Lena and then went round telling everyone which is totally out of order.

Sarah’s very rightly annoyed with Hayley and Hayley’s annoyed with Sarah for being annoyed with her. Follow?! Now I’ve been dragged into it somehow cos Hayley’s been slagging me off to various people, saying how a best mate should be loyal and stick by her and stuff. She’s just trying to shift the guilt onto someone else cos she knows she’s the one that’s wrong but:

  1. I’ve not said a word about it to her since it all started so how does she know I’m being disloyal? (As it happens, I’ll be siding with Sarah on this one if she brings it up!)
  2. SHE IS NOT MY BEST MATE!!! It’s all in her head! Twisted cow!

Anyway, Sarah and I spent the day happily distorting photos of Hayley’s face on the computer! 🙂

I’ve had loads of messages from Jake today. I sent the first one asking what he was doing and he told me, “I’M SITTING ON A VERY LONG TRAIN JOURNEY TO ROME! IT’S NOT THAT HOT TODAY BUT IT’S REALLY BORING! DO YOU FEEL ANY BETTER?? FEEL AWFUL COS I’M NOT WITH YOU! LOVE xJx”.

I then told him that if he was with me then he’d only end up catching it but he said, “I WOULDN’T MIND CATCHING IT IF IT MEANT I COULD SEE YOU! YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO KEEP ME AWAY FROM YOU! LOVE YOU! x”.

I then pointed out that in 2 weeks’ time I should be in Valkenburg and his reaction was, “YIPPEEE! CAN’T WAIT! YOU BETTER GET WELL BEFORE THEN! HOLLAND SEEMS SO FAR AWAY – IN DISTANCE AND TIME! WANT IT TO HURRY UP – LOOKING FORWARD TO IT SOOO MUCH! xJx”.

I sent him another after that saying how I had a concert at the Parr Hall with Swing Band tonight but it took him a while to reply. He said, “SORRY I  HAVEN’T REPLIED – JUST GOT TO CHARLIE’S AUNT’S HOUSE IN ROME! DON’T DO THE CONCERT – I WANT YOU TO GET BETTER – STAY IN AND REST! : ) NOT BEEN A WEEK YET!…” Then I got the same one again and then another similar one. He must have thought it hadn’t sent! He said, “SORRY I HAVEN’T REPLIED – JUST GOT TO ROME! DON’T DO THE CONCERT – I WANT YOU TO GET BETTER SO REST INSTEAD! : ) THIS IS THE 1ST FRI NIGHT WITHOUT YOU FOR AGES!! : ( xJx”.

Then almost straight away I got, “HAH! FORGOT TO SAY – THIS AMERICAN GIRL ON THE TRAIN WAS READING THIS SOPPY ROMANTIC NOVEL AND THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS CALLED TESSA! SHE KEPT READING BITS AND LAUGHING AT ME x”.

After I’d done with the concert (which was okay) I sent him another message asking why she’d been laughing and telling him what I’d just done for Swing Band. I also mentioned Hayley being a cow. He said, “TOLD YOU NOT TO! CHARLIE IS LAUGHING COS HE MISSED IT! SHE WAS LAUGHING COS IT WAS SO SOPPY – SHE SAID I WAS THE MAN IN IT! THEY THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY NICE THAT…” then, “WE SEND MSGS TO EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME! HAYLEY IS TWISTED! HOW DO YOU KNOW HAYLEY’S ANNOYED WITH YOU? FROM SARAH? x”.

I told him that Gethin, Freda and Henry Rockwell had all told me that she’d been slagging me off. Then he said, “OHHH THINGS AREN’T GOING YOUR WAY AT THE MINUTE ARE THEY?! YOU’RE ILL, HAYLEY’S BEING A BITCH AND I’M HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY : (…” then I got a really nice one which cheered me up saying, “I MAY BE ALL THE WAY IN ITALY BUT I’M WITH YOU ALL THE TIME, JUST LIKE YOU’RE WITH ME ALL THE TIME – IN MY HEART AND ON MY MIND… PERMANENTLY! : ) LOVE YOU LOTS! xJx”.

That was very soppy but very sweet! I bet he was reading a romantic novel himself on that train!

I agreed with him that things aren’t going my way and told him that I now seem to have a scarletina type thing, and he said, “PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE JOKING! SCARLET FEVER?? : ( HAVE YOU BEEN TO THE DOCTOR’S? I’M REALLY REALLY SORRY I’M NOT THERE FOR YOU! xxx JAKE xxx”.

I told him that he didn’t have to apologise cos I wouldn’t see much of him even if he was here cos I’m ill so he said, “I’M SORRY – JUST IT’S NOT A NICE THING TO HAVE! : ( : ( THIS IS ALL SOOO BAD! : ( : ( I’D BETTER LET YOU SLEEP THEN! HOPE U FEEL BETTER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! ALL MY LOVE! x”.

I then told him that I didn’t want to sleep so to keep texting (unless he did) and I told him not to feel bad. He sent me 2 back saying, “I WORRY COS YOU’RE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE! : ) IF I WASN’T – I’D BE WORRYING ABOUT HOW THE HELL I’M GETTING BACK TONIGHT – I’M LOST IN THE MIDDLE OF ROME! xJx”. Then, “OH! AND I DON’T NEED SLEEP SO KEEP TEXTING AND I’LL ASSUME YOU’VE FALLEN ASLEEP WHEN I DON’T GET ANY MORE! LOVE YOU! x”.

I then told him I was a bit worried about him once he’d said he was lost but he said, “HAH – DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME! CHARLIE IS GONNA LEAD US HOME… HE HOPES! NO DON’T MIND IF YOU HIT HAYLEY AT DENNY’S – YOU WOULD BE V. POPULAR! R U GONNA GO FEELING LIKE THIS?? LOVE xJx”.

I told him that I AM going to Denny’s cos I’ve missed out on enough already while I’ve been ill! I also told him that Ed reckons I’ve got ‘missing Jakey sydrome’ and Jake said, “WELL DON’T MAKE YOURSELF ANY WORSE! IF THAT’S ALL YOU’VE GOT – THAT’S OK! YOU’VE ONLY GOT 2 MORE WEEKS THEN YOU’LL BE FINE! MY BATTERY MAY DIE SOON – SO DON’T WORRY…” then, “IF I DON’T REPLY – I HAVEN’T BEEN RUN DOWN BY A CRAZY ITALIAN MAN ON A SCOOTER! LOTS OF LOVE… AGAIN! xJx”.

Later on at about 12:15 am, I got another message saying, “JUST GOT BACK! AND FOUND A PLUG SOCKET! HOW’S ABOUT YOU’RE ALLOWED TO WORRY ABOUT ME AS LONG AS I CAN WORRY ABOUT YOU? ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS…” and then, “YOUR CUTE LITTLE FACE, YOUR LOVELY EYES AND SCRUNCHED UP NOSE ALL LOOKING AT ME! THERE’S NOTHING I WOULD CHANGE ABOUT YOU! – YOU’RE JUST PERFECT! REALLY DO LOVE YOU.”

That was very nice to read but I pointed out that right now I’ve got a pink little face, a stuffed up nose and I can’t look at anything properly cos my eyes won’t focus! I also told him not to be put off by that though! He replied, “AHH! YOU’RE JUST SO SWEET! I CAN JUST PICTURE YOU NOW! WOULDN’T BE PUT OFF – EVER! I KNOW I SAY IT ALL THE TIME – BUT YOU’RE JUST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE – YOU REALLY ARE!”

I don’t think anyone else would agree! I don’t actually know what I’ve done to make him think that either cos I wouldn’t have thought I’m anything special! I told him that I thought it was the other way round and he said, “WELL WE’RE BOTH REALLY LUCKY THEN! I THINK WE’RE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER! I’M LYING IN BED LISTENING TO THAT LONESTAR SONG – THE LYRICS SUM UP EXACTLY HOW I FEEL! xJx”.

That’s really weird cos I thought that and I told him that. He then said, “WOW! WE ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER! I LISTEN TO IT EVERY NIGHT! IT’S A BIT DEPRESSING NOW THOUGH!” That really is freaky cos it used to be one of the ones I listened to a lot at night until he went away cos it was depressing!

I asked him if he was joking and told him that! He said, “NO I’M NOT JOKING! : ) OHH I REALLY CAN’T WAIT 2 WEEKS! BETTER GO TO SLEEP NOW THOUGH – DON’T WANT TO BUT I’M AN HOUR AHEAD AND HAVE A BUSY DAY TOMORROW! I’LL PHONE YOU! x”. That was the last message I got tonight.

Looks like I’ll have to get a new diary then. I’ll probably use this purple hardback notebook I think I’ve got. See you there!

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Sad, pathetic, childish, twisted little cow – 6th July 2000

Thursday 6th I didn’t go to college again today cos I’m feeling rotten again. 😦 I think kickboxing finished me off last night, even though it was good!

I’ve had quite a lot of messages today (I’m writing smaller cos I’ve not got many pages left!) off Jake. I had a couple from last night too saying, “HELLO! HAVE YOU GONE/DID YOU GO K’BOXING? DID YOU SEND THE NAME OF THAT PLACE IN HOLLAND? WANNA KNOW IF MY MSGS ARE WORKING COS I’M IN ITALY NOW! LOVE xJx”.

I told him I wasn’t feeling too great and that I’d get the address of where we’re staying in Holland for him soon. He said, “OK! I’LL LET YOU RECOVER IN PEACE! ON OUR WAY TO PISA NOW – I’LL TRY NOT TO FALL OFF THE LEANING TOWER! NIGHT NIGHT!!! : ) LOADS OF LOVE!!! xxx JAKE xxx”.

I then sent him a msg this morning asking what he was up to. He told me, “I’M LOOKING ROUND THE LEANING TOWER – DON’T WORRY I WON’T BE FALLING OFF – YOU CAN’T GO UP NOW! IT IS TOO HOT! WISH YOU WERE HERE TOO! : ( LOVE YOU LOTS N LOTS!!! xJx”.

I then asked if Charlie had that address and I also told him I got woken up this morning by a magpie pecking at my window! He said, “I SPENT LAST NIGHT SLEEPING ON A TRAIN PLATFORM – I’M V. TIRED SO DON’T MENTION SLEEP! HE’S GOT IT BUT IT’S AT THE BOTTOM OF HIS BAG AND WON’T GIVE IT ME!! LOVE xJx”.

I asked if he really needed the address if Charlie already had it and that I hoped I felt better for Holland. He said, “IF HE’S LOST IT OR SOMETHING THEN I’LL LET YOU KNOW! HE RECKONS IT’S A HOTEL THOUGH?? YOU GOTTA GO – IF NOT, I’M COMING HOME TO SEE YOU! LOVE YOU!!! : ) xJx”.

I asked if it mattered if it was a hotel and he said, “RIGHT WELL I’M STOPPING THERE WHETHER IT’S A CAMP SITE OR THE RITZ!…” and then, “THIS IS LIKE HAVING PART OF ME TAKEN AWAY FROM ME – MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY! : ( SOOO GLAD I’VE GOT THAT PHOTO!! I LOOK AT IT ALL THE TIME! LOVE YOU TO BITS!!! xJx”.

I said I hoped he wasn’t looking at the one Gethin gave him of me looking stoned in a Santa hat all the time and he told me, “NO – ALTHOUGH IT MAKES ME LAUGH, THE ONE YOU GAVE ME IS MUCH NICER! AND WE ARE TOGETHER ON IT! : ) WISH WE HAD GOT TOGETHER EARLIER THOUGH…” and then, “THEN I WOULD BE ON THE ‘STONED’ PHOTO! IF I WASN’T HAPPY ALREADY – I’D GIVE ALMOST ANYTHING TO BE SO! UURRRGHH! : ( NOT FAIR! xJx”.

Christmas '99 Tess stoned Santa

Later I told him that I’d just dreamt we were both in college and he said, “WISH THAT DREAM WAS TRUE! EVEN IF I HAD TO BE IN COLLEGE! IT’S NOT ME PHONING YOU! I’VE JUST FINISHED WASHING ALL MY CLOTHES – I’M WORN OUT NOW!…” (someone phoned the house and hung up when I answered) and then, “I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU!! THAT’S A GOOD THING IN THAT IT SHOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU! : ) BUT THEN IT REALLY HURTS COS I CAN’T SEE YOU AND GIVE YOU A HUG! : (“.

This evening I’ve had a few more messages saying, “HELLO! WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? JUST BEEN FOR A MEAL – WE’RE WANDERING ROUND DOING NOTHING NOW! ACTUALLY THE ONLY WAY I CAN PARTLY TAKE YOU OFF MY MIND…” then, “IS BY STUFFING MY FACE FULL OF REALLY NICE FOOD! NOT THAT I WANT TO TAKE YOU OFF MY MIND COS YOU’RE A V. NICE THING TO HAVE ON YOUR MIND! LOTS OF LOVE!!! xJx”.

I told him I was lying on the sofa, wrapped up in my duvet, looking very pink (cos I’ve developed a temperature) and feeling very miserable cos he’s so far away! He replied, “AAAGGHH! ARE YOU NOT GETTING ANY BETTER THEN? : ( I JUST WISH I COULD CUDDLE UP TO YOU NOW! – JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND DREAM ABOUT IT! ARRAN SAID…” then, “HE AND ALI ARE GOING BACK TO CALAIS ON THE TRAIN AND THAT ED COULD GO WITH THEM WITH MY TICKET! : ) HE IS REALLY MISSING HIS GIRLFRIEND TOO! LOVE YOU! xJx”.

I’m going to be disappointed if Jake can’t get the coach back with us now. Mind you, I usually end up looking really rough after travelling for a long time so maybe it’s not such a good idea!!

Hayley’s being a right bitch to Sarah. If I had more energy I’d explain and then slag the hell out of the lanky whore but I need sleep so I’ll do it another day if I decide it’s not a waste of ink and paper cos everyone knows what a sad, pathetic, childish, twisted little cow she can be!!

Bye!