It reminded me a lot of something off a problem page! – 19th & 20th September 2000

Tuesday 19th I must have fallen asleep before Jake had finished sending me messages cos when I got up this morning, I had one saying, “I DON’T LIKE PLANNING THINGS BUT IF WE DO GET TO DECEMBER AND NO-ONE’S HAD A PARTY… WELL! : ) I DO WANT TO! COULD GO TO AN OPEN DAY… A LONG WAY AWAY AND STAY OVER! x”.

I replied telling him I couldn’t really see that happening and he said, “I KNOW! IT’S ALREADY GOING VERY QUICKLY! WISH WE WERE RICH THEN WE WOULDN’T HAVE TO MAKE DO WITH A YOUTH HOSTEL! DON’T TELL ME I’VE BEEN TOO SLOW AGAIN! : ) LOVE YOU! x”.

I told him that he’d been too slow in asking me out after I found out how long he’d liked me which is what the last bit was about!

Later he said, “I SPOSE IT’S A VERY BIG STEP TO TAKE AND YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU WANT TO! SOME PEOPLE’S RELATIONSHIPS ARE JUST SEXUAL SO FOR US TO BE THIS CLOSE NOW JUST SHOWS HOW GOOD WE ARE TOGETHER AND HOW STRONG OUR RELATIONSHIP IS… DOESN’T IT? : ) LOVE YOU LOADS!!! xJx”.

That was a very nice message but it reminded me a lot of something off a problem page!

I saw Jake briefly today in my free lessons but then I saw him later cos he came round to my house. Nothing happened cos my family kept wandering about and we got worried about them coming in.

Bye!

Wednesday 20th I went to the Environmental Sciences talk thing at Huddersfield University today so Sarah, Hayley, Jake and I all went along. I really, really like it there! We went to the talk thing with this Robert Allen bloke and there was only one other lad there. It was more helpful than I thought it’d be though cos he told us what needs to go on our personal statements and stuff.

For the rest of the day, we just wandered round the uni and the town. Jake showed me which block he’s going to be in and then got stopped by some bloke asking for money and he gave him £2 cos he’s nice! He also saw a lad called Chris (I think) that used to be in his year at school.

Sarah and Hayley spent most of the day lad watching and when Hayley tried to involve me in it, Jake (quite rightly, I suppose) got ready to sulk!

On our way home, Jake dropped me off before Hayley so I was a bit annoyed cos I couldn’t even give him a hug while she was in the car cos she’d have made some comment. I sulked for a bit through text messages and then it came out that he’s worried about Hayley’s influence over me when he’s in Canada. He thinks I’ll be hanging round with her ex Andy and his mates again. I corrected him that, if I can help it, I won’t be!

Bye!

It must have looked dodgy! – 16th to 18th September 2000

Saturday 16th I had the day off work today but I didn’t do much cos Jake was working. This evening I saw him though and we ended up back down the lane behind the school. We put the seats down all the way so we could lie on them and we just did what we normally do – nothing very interesting anymore. It was still quite good though cos at least we got to be alone.

Bye!

Sunday 17th I had to work today but Jake came to pick me up afterwards and we went to get a Chinese again. We went back down the lane… again to eat it and do other stuff too (of course!) but nothing much worth writing about.

It was a bit embarrassing at one point cos we’d been lying down in the car and Jake suddenly sat up and said, “There’s a man there!” I didn’t believe him so I looked but there was someone walking his dogs. Whoever it was avoided the car really obviously so it must have looked dodgy! Hope it wasn’t anyone we know!!

When I got in I texted Jake, whinging about having to come home and he texted me back saying, “IT’S JUST SOOO ANNOYING! AND WHAT’S EVEN MORE ANNOYING IS THAT WHEN WE GO TO UNI – WE’LL HAVE A BED AND WE COULD BE ALONE… BUT WE’LL PROBABLY BE HUNDREDS OF MILES APART. x”

I hope we aren’t!

Bye!

Monday 18th I didn’t see Jake today because he went to Alton Towers with some of his mates but I got some messages from him this evening. We got onto the dark lane subject and I asked if he didn’t like dark lanes cos he doesn’t want us to go any further in the back of a car (cos he did say that in a message a while ago).

He said, “I ONLY SAID THAT COS I WANT IT TO BE SPECIAL! NOT IN THE BACK OF A CAR! YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THAT! IT’S NOT THAT I DON’T WANT TO! I DO… A LOT!!! JUST WHEN WE MANAGE TO BE ALONE AND PREFERABLY IN A BED! I LOVE YOU TOO!!! : ) xxx JAKE xxx”.

Then later he said, “WELL IF IT DOESN’T HAPPEN SOON WE’LL JUST HAVE TO HAVE OUR OWN LITTLE PARTY… IN A HOTEL ROOM! OR WE COULD GO CAMPING! : ) LOVE YOU TOO!”

I didn’t know what to make of those messages. I don’t want him getting his hopes up that it’ll happen before he goes away. I do want to but it’s more the problem of when and where. I really can’t see us getting the chance and, even if we did, I’m not entirely convinced we’d take it.

Bye!

 

Poor, working, tired or staying in to watch the last Big Brother – 15th September 2000

Friday 15th My Grandma S has come to stay at our house for a bit until the petrol shortage ends cos her house is quite far away and Mum wouldn’t be able to go and see her as often. So, Mum asked me to come home in my free lessons to check she was okay. Jake came with me and Grandma was still in bed but at least I got to see him for a couple of hours and we booked our flights to London.

Nobody was going out tonight cos they were either poor, working, tired or staying in to watch the last Big Brother (sad!) so Jake and I didn’t have much to do. We didn’t really want to sit in a pub on our own so we went and got a Chinese and he parked his car down the track up the back of the school field so we could eat it. That’s where we ended up staying though cos we had nothing else to do.

We pushed the front seats forward and sat in the back so we had more room. We talked for ages and at one point he started going on about people who had fancied him/he fancied before me/he’d snogged. Not good!

He then told me:

  • He’d been really pissed off when he liked me cos he couldn’t go to one of Freda’s parties and he knew I was going.
  • That he’d been really jealous of his brother cos I was on the ski trip.
  • That after he’d had assembly, he used to try and get out fast so he could see me (we sat in the common room cos his assembly was held where we usually sat).

I had his sheep-like Quiksilver fleece on in the back of the car at one point cos I was cold and he said I looked really cute in it!

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[Jake’s sheep fleece.]

Then we started kissing and the usual 2 things happened (3). I thought he was going to try and take it further at one point cos he sort of pressed himself up against me but I ignored it.

I think I fell asleep for a few minutes at one point so he took me home after that. I got a message from him saying, “I LOVE YOU LOADS TOO! YOU MAKE ME SOOO HAPPY! : ) I’M SOOO GLAD THAT I WENT AND FOUND YOU THAT MONDAY MORNING AFTER THE PARTY! YOU’RE THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME! I LOVE YOU!!! : ) xxx JAKE xxx”. Aahhh! 🙂

Bye!

Could’ve been embarrassing if he’d have walked straight in! – 13th & 14th September 2000

Wednesday 13th Gethin attempted to speak to me today but I pretty much ignored him cos I’m still pissed off. I went to Jake’s during the day in my frees to get out of the way before I hit Gethin and so we could sort out stuff for London.

We went to McDonald’s for lunch (again!) and Hayley was in there with Georgia. She told me that in their RE lesson, Sarah had been saying that she agrees with me in the argument but wants to stick with Gethin cos she doesn’t want to get on the wrong side of him (or something). Pathetic! I do feel a bit guilty about not seeing Sarah in college as much but if I didn’t see Jake, that’d be just as bad, if not worse.

Gethin sent me some apology messages after college and even followed me into the toilets but he kept asking if he could still come to the Trafford Centre tomorrow night so I think that’s all he’s really bothered about – getting some shopping!! I didn’t forgive him but I might soon. It depends how much he annoys me!

I went back to Jake’s tonight and we sat in his room and the usual happened but his dad came home and wanted to speak to him! Could’ve been embarrassing if he’d have walked straight in!

Bye!

Thursday 14th I was still really annoyed with Gethin for most of today but then I went home before lunch cos I felt really ill cos I’ve got a bad cold and cough. We still went to the Trafford Centre though so I sort of had to get on with Gethin and I’m gradually beginning to get over it!

I didn’t buy much, just a belly chain thing to go round the top of my trousers for when I go out and a pair of fleecy pants from Eisenegger. Nothing much interesting happened at all. Jake just dropped me straight off at home after.

I did get a few nice messages this evening though. He said, “YOU HAVE A TENDENCY TO FALL ASLEEP AND I CAN’T SLEEP COS I’M WAITING FOR YOU TO SEND ME A MSG BACK! : ) GLAD FLOYD’S COMING TO LONDON TOO! YOU SHOULD BE IN MY BED NOW. IT’S NOT FAIR! UUH! I LOVE YOU TOO… FAR TOO MUCH TO ONLY SEE YOU FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS A DAY! NIGHT TIMES ARE A WASTE – I COULD BE WITH YOU! WELL… I CAN DREAM! x”.

Then later, we were still on the subject of London and he said, “WELL BEING IN THE SAME BUILDING AS YOU IS A LITTLE BIT BETTER THAN THIS! I’M SLEEPING ON MY BLANKET THINGY AND IT’S V. WEIRD COS WHERE YOU SEWED OUR INITIALS IN, THE HEART IS RIGHT WHERE MY HEAD IS! : ) OHH I WANT YOU HERE NOW! IT’S NOT THE SAME LYING HERE WITHOUT YOU! LOVE YOU LOADS! xJx”.

(I found a sewing kit that he’d got free on the cruise shop so when I was round at his house the other night, I sewed a button and TS+JT onto his blanket cos I got bored!)

Later still, he sent me a message saying, “NO – YOU’VE ENTERED COLLEGE 2 NOW – WHERE NOBODY HAS A SOCIAL LIFE… WHICH MEANS NO PARTIES! : ( WE’LL HAVE TO WAIT AT LEAST 4 YEARS BEFORE I GET TO SHARE A BED WITH YOU! : ( OR WE COULD JUST LIVE IN MY TENT AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER! LOVE xJx”.

Bye!

 

He was slagging me off no end. Bastard! – 11th & 12th September 2000

Monday 11th Jake and I went to the Trafford Centre tonight after college cos I handed my biology coursework in so I’ve not got as much work. We went to the cinema to see Scary Movie which was pretty good.

Afterwards, we just came straight home which disappointed me slightly but then he parked the car on the church car park next door where we stayed for quite a while. We talked mostly (he did begin 3 but stopped) about stuff.

He said he wants to skip a couple of years so we can live together. He also said he wouldn’t mind living in a tent if we had to! I mentioned the post office here in my village then he said we should put our pennies together and buy a post office in Scotland! Hmmm!

Bye!

Tuesday 12th Gethin is such a twat!!! I went out of college at 3rd lesson with Jake cos I was free but we came back at lunch to see if anyone wanted a trip to McDonald’s. Gethin, Sarah and Hayley came with us. Hayley’s fine at the moment and isn’t annoying me as much, Sarah seems a bit off with me but I think it might be cos I’ve not been around as much and she’s been left with Hayley, and Gethin’s just being a right moody little bastard!

He didn’t eat anything (and neither did Sarah actually) when we got there so I asked why he’d bothered coming when someone else could’ve done instead. Hayley and Sarah told me later that, when he’d got out of the car afterwards, he was slagging me off no end. Bastard!

Then this evening, I got a message from Sarah that was meant for Gethin and it included the words, “I dunno what’s wrong with Tess – maybe she’s stressed about London” (Jake and I are trying to organise a trip to London at half term and I can’t get straight answers out of anyone!) so they were obviously talking about me.

Then, I got a message from Jake saying Gethin had been slagging us both off to his brother, saying how we’re going to end up with no mates if we’re together all the time. This is very reminiscent of what he said to me over the phone a while back and what he said to Hugo. I told Gethin then that I wasn’t going to put up with it again so I sent him a few messages. They’re on this bit of paper cos I wrote it down before I sent anything so I could get everything in that I wanted to say. →

(The last message on the back is one Jake sent on Monday. I forget to write it in here!)

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Gethin sent me a few messages back saying that it was an “over exaggerated insult” and that he’d “put it down to stress and gossip” and then that “in the unlikely event of you ever needing me, you know where I am”. He is sooo cheesy! He should write cheesy soap opera scripts!!

He then asked if our friendship was over but I ignored him! Ha ha!!!

Jake’s far from pleased with Gethin either but I don’t think he’ll do much about it.

Bye!

I’ve got to smile more or I’ll get sacked – 9th & 10th September 2000

Saturday 9th I saw Jake during the day today. He came round here and we stayed in my room for most of the time. The usual happened and it wasn’t a one way thing for once!

Had to go to work tonight but it wasn’t too bad cos it was really busy. Gemma told me that Jake’s very good looking! 🙂 I know!!

Gethin’s pissing me off! He told everyone that he thinks Jake’s gay and that he wears nail varnish. He also keeps telling me that Martin the manager told him to tell me that I’ve got to smile more or I’ll get sacked when the area manager comes in. He also asked Jake last night if the reason he hadn’t said much was because he was “under the thumb”! Bastard!

I reckon I’m gonna get sacked actually cos I told that Sandra woman I can’t work next Saturday (there’s a Huddersfield open day and I’ve been planning on going with Mum and Dad for ages cos they want to see the place) and she was really off with me. She definitely wasn’t pleased!

The thing is, I’ve only been there a couple of weeks and if I quit or get sacked now, I’ll feel like a right failure and I’ll be the only one of my mates without a job. I’m confused and can’t think straight though!

Bye!

Sunday 10th When I finished work today, Jake came to get me cos we planned to go and get a Chinese for our tea. He brought his brother and sister in the car with him and we ended up in a queue at the petrol station at The Dog roundabout for about 30 minutes cos of this whole petrol price thing. I think it was one of the few round here that had any left.

We eventually go to the Chinese, by which time Jake was getting really pissed off cos he thought Robbie and Clara were being embarrassing but I just found them funny. While we were eating, Clara started telling me about Jake making horrible coughing noises when he brushes his teeth and he got really, really pissed off, told me it’s cos he chokes on toothpaste and dragged me upstairs out of their way! We just kissed and stuff but that was about it. He seems to know what he’s doing a bit more now. Perhaps he’s been reading up on it!

Bye!

He wants to kidnap me – 6th to 8th September 2000

Wednesday 6th I saw Jake after college today and we both ended up really depressed cos we don’t see each other as much as we’d like to. He told me that even his dad commented that we see less of each other.

We were sat in his car and I was trying to fix a wool thing in it but I was unsuccessful and he told me I’d never make a good mum if I can’t knit! I’m not planning on becoming one just yet! He also decided that he wants to kidnap me and run away to Scotland and live on an island in a tent in a field! Hmmm, I don’t think he’s thought that through!

I got my orange belt (finally!) at kickboxing tonight! J

Ooh, just found some more texts from Jake yesterday. He said, “AAH! : ) YOUR MESSAGES ARE SO SWEET – I’M GONNA START HUGGING MY PHONE SOON! YEH ONE DAY! THAT WOULD BE SO NICE! : ) I COULD HAVE YOU ALL TO MYSELF ALL NIGHT WITH LOTS OF HUGS/CUDDLES… (AND STUFF!!!) I SUPPOSE IF WE DIDN’T GET UPSET OR MISERABLE THEN WE WOULDN’T LOVE EACH OTHER AS MUCH AS WE DO! SO IT’S A GOOD THING! x”. The “one day” bit was in response to me saying maybe one day we could live together (which was in response to one he sent yesterday).

Bye!

Thursday 7th Boring day! I saw Jake briefly after college but then I had to work. It was really quiet and I’ve decided I hate it again.

Bye!

Friday 8th Did ‘The Run’ tonight. [A pub crawl through my village and the next one.] We didn’t actually go in all the pubs along the road but we were going to. We went in The Dog then The Cosy Jack and then The Green Dragon (aarrgghh!!) to get Gethin. We then walked back to the next village cos Hayley said we could go to hers (I think she fancied our Geordie friend, Geordie Chris, who’s down) but Jake and I got depressed again and walked slowly.

I’m seriously considering quitting at The Dragon cos I’ve not got time to do my coursework and see Jake, plus I’m exhausted all the time. I don’t know what to do!

Bye!

I was so pleased and happy to see him! – 2nd September 2000

Saturday 2nd Hah! I’ve just noticed I’ve missed out a couple of pages at the end of August!

My shift at work today wasn’t too bad but it seemed to last forever! It was really frustrating cos I knew Jake was home but I couldn’t see him until 8pm. I was sooo glad when I finished!

He’s got his mum’s Polo now so he picked me up and we went to the cinema at the Trafford Centre. I was so pleased and happy to see him! We ended up seeing Snatch which turned out to be really good!

Afterwards, we just sat in the Orient bit eating Phish Food ice cream and cuddling and kissing which carried on when we were in the car park! I just love him so much and I hate being without him which is why it’s so good now he’s back!

We exchanged presents tonight too. I gave him his fairy in a jar and he gave me 2 photos of him (one in a bow tie etc.!) and a light up pen!

[photo]

He gave me my 2nd postcard too!

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I got a message from him on my phone when I got home too. It said, “I’M SOOO HAPPY! BEING APART FOR 2 WEEKS THEN SEEING YOU IS SOOO NICE! JUST PROVES TO MYSELF THAT I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH! DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE YOU! NOT FAIR! BUT THEN BEING AWAY FROM YOU IS EVEN MORE UNFAIR! I LOVE YOU… NOW AND ALWAYS!!! : ) xxx JAKE xxx”.

Oh, he’s sooo sweet!

Bye!

Everybody jumping on everybody else – 31st August 2000

Thursday 31st This diary is getting way too full but I’ve got yet more e-mails to stick in now. →

Jake cruise email 13Reply to Jake email 13

My mum’s just told me that Mrs Quinn’s died. She’s the mother of Megan Quinn who I was best friends with all the way through primary school and my parents have known her and her husband since I was born, I think. It’s really sad. It was caused by a blood clot in her brain everyone thinks but no-one’s sure. She’s been in hospital for a few weeks though.

I really want/need to see Jake! I can’t stand this much longer! It’s horrible now I know he’s on his way home but I’ve got to wait until Saturday to see him. The time’s going sooo slowly!

I’ve just checked my e-mail for one last time today to see if Jake’s replied to the one I sent him earlier but he hasn’t. I’m not pleased. I asked him to mail me lots today yesterday and he said he’d send me another if I replied to him tonight but he hasn’t. He shouldn’t have got my hopes up cos I’ve been wasting time checking if he’s sent me one all night.

I’m partly pissed off but I’m also worried cos he doesn’t usually say he’ll do something and then doesn’t. I hope nothing’s happened. If he’s okay then he’d better have a good excuse!

I’ll probably get an e-mail tomorrow telling me had had another all-nighter tonight and then going into more details about what fun he had etc. Yes, I am still jealous! I’m also more worried after what he told me on the phone yesterday about everybody jumping on everybody else on the last night. He’s probably not telling me everything anyway cos if the reaction he got to the 2nd mail he sent me when I was in Wick!

Hang on, I’ve just thought, he might well have fallen asleep if he was up all last night! I hope that’s his reason for not replying!

Bye!

P.S. I’ve just sent Jake a 2nd mail anyway saying something like, “Did you get my last mail or are you just not bothering to reply?” I wish I hadn’t now cos he’ll think I’m all moody again!

One last desperate attempt to get a snog – 29th August 2000

Tuesday 29th I went round to Sarah’s again today to do some more coursework. Jake phoned again and we had another minor falling out cos he told me that he’d been informed that on the last night of cruises, everyone tends to throw themselves at everyone else in one last desperate attempt to get a snog or whatever out of the holiday. He made it sound like he intended on joining in!

So I “accidentally” cut my phone off (i.e. hung up) and then didn’t answer when he rang back and then wished I had once I’d calmed down and ended up sending him an apology for over reacting! He sent me an apology back too. 🙂

I got this postcard off him this morning. →

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It’s slightly more impressive than the one I sent him from Wick!

It was Hayley’s birthday so tonight. She got some free tickets from Mr Smith’s in Warrington so Sarah, Hayley (obviously!), Georgia, Chloe and I went. Maz also came cos Hayley said Sarah could invite him.

We started off in Edison’s which was absolutely packed but Hayley still managed to spot Andy (her ex type thing – I was never sure what went on in the 1st place!) who she’s totally obsessed with. So, she dragged Chloe off to find him with her. That pissed Georgia off cos as soon as Chloe was there, Georgia got totally dropped by Hayley. I know how Georgia feels sort of cos Hayley did exactly the same with me and Sarah for Georgia, the difference bring that Sarah and I weren’t that bothered cos we don’t like Hayley all that much anymore!

Hayley had told us that she’d meet us outside at 10:30pm but when we went out, she didn’t turn up for a good 10 minutes so we all got pissed off cos Hayley had the tickets and if we weren’t in Smith’s by 11pm then we had to pay.

Eventually, Hayley and Chloe turned up and I had to put up with Hayley going on and on about what Andy did when he saw her, which wasn’t much! She also decided she smoked too but we all reckoned it was an attempt to impress Chloe as well as look old. Silly cow! She didn’t impress the rest of us cos it was disgusting!

We got into Smith’s easily enough. Abby and Connor were in there but I’ve been told Mum doesn’t know so I’ve got to keep quiet. Ha ha!! Blackmail material!

It was quite busy in Smith’s too but it was really good! Georgia had quite a bit to drink and felt sick (but wasn’t) and got quite a bit of attention from us asking if she was okay. Then suddenly, Hayley also felt sick and announced she’d had too much to drink (she’d had a Taboo and lemonade and a Breezer or something!) and ran into a toilet cubicle and made some coughing noises and came out with watery eyes. I don’t think she’d really been sick, she’d just picked up on the fact Georgia got attention.

We had a dance and then Hayley spotted Andy again. Georgia and I got fed up of waiting for her to see him again so we wandered off to where it was a bit more lively. I kept getting my arse felt and blokes putting their hands on my waist but, other than that, it was better than being with misery guts Hayley!

When Georgia and I went to sit down again, Hayley was already there, very obviously interrupting Sarah and Maz from their snogging! Georgia and I just talked and had a giggle over some bloke’s dancing and pulling techniques and Hayley must have noticed. The next thing I knew, Hayley was dragging me off to the toilets telling me she was going to be sick again. There were more coughing noises, even though all she’d been drinking was water!

Later on, Sarah and I worked out that Hayley had probably dragged me away from Georgia (mid-conversation, may I add) cos she won’t want me and Georgia getting too friendly, just in case she gets left out and therefore less attention!

When we left and booked a taxi, Georgia and I saw Andy rolling round on the grass with some lad in a fight and then getting restrained by a policeman! It was really funny!

Then Hayley announced that it’s not fair cos she’s got no-one to “care” for her! I pointed out that most people haven’t right now and she turned round and said that I’ve got Jake and Sarah’s got Maz and that it isn’t fair. Why shouldn’t we have them? She was trying to make us feel guilty! Bitch!

I asked her why shouldn’t we have anyone and she promptly went off to be “sick” in the bushes. I turned round and I could see her looking at us. As soon as she saw me, she bent over and made throwing up noises. She did the same again when she saw me turn round a few minutes later.

All she needs to care for her is a hospital full of qualified people who know how to take care of headcases properly! She really does need help and I’m not the only one who thinks that. I know for a fact that Jake, Gethin and Sarah (at least) agree with me. Cat Elliot thinks she needs professional help too! Maz has only seen her a couple of times and Sarah said he reckons there’s something wrong with Hayley’s mind!

But, overall (minus Hayley!) it was a really good night and I really enjoyed myself!

Bye!

Today’s e-mails! →

Jake cruise email 10Reply to Jake email 10