Ewan Swann is dead good at sketching – 26th-31st July 1998

Friday 31st I’m back from Paris now. It was quite good but not as good as Austria. Different type of holiday, that. I’ll tell you what happened briefly on each day…

Sunday 26th We had to get up at about 4:15am and get ready to go to school. I was worried where I’d be sat and we ended up with Emma and I sat together and Olivia and Cat Elliot sat behind us which was good. The journey was boring and so was the ferry crossing coz it was dead calm.

We finally arrived at Hotel Monfortel and it wasn’t anything special. It was cramped in our room and hot. We couldn’t actually get into our room to start with coz the handle was knackered. We got the hang of it eventually.

[This horrific early example of a selfie was taken in the room described above which perhaps explains the apparent misery.]

We discovered that you could ring each other’s room without charge so that was good.

The food was okay but not brilliant.

We also spotted this freak stood on his balcony all the time and watching us. We thought he was a paedophile or something so we started calling him Peedo then Peedy then the name Peeday stuck.

Monday 27th We played in the Swing Band at Jardin de Luxembourg in the afternoon and we visited the Eiffel Tower in the morning. We went right to the top.

[The numbers on the tower were counting down the days until the Millennium.]

[The numbers on the tower were counting down the days until the Millennium (which I still think is only about 6 years ago).]

The concert went really well and we got asked to go to Toronto in Canada and loads of other people were getting our address and stuff.

After the concert we were allowed to get lunch and walk round the park. Olivia, Emma and I found some fit French lads. Most of them were black and I liked the one with a baseball cap. He was gorgeous.

Some of the girls in our year spotted them talking to us and walked past and the lads ignored them. It was so funny coz they’re not used to lads preferring us over them coz a few of them are right slappers.

Tuesday 28th We played at Notre Dame today.

I discovered that Ewan Swann is dead good at sketching coz he was drawing Gemma Crowther. [He was trying to be like Leo DiCaprio in Titanic, probably in an attempt to make all the girls swoon.] I started to like him a bit coz I’d been watching him and he’s not bad actually. [Draw me like one of your French girls, Ewan].

I spoke to Ewan on the phone too coz he happened to answer when my room rang his room. We were just talking about nothing really and then Charlie Wilson came on the phone.

We also got the chance to shop in Paris and Olivia and I got a bit lost.

Monmatre too. Got my hair braided.

Wednesday 29th Very bad day at Euro Disney.

It started off when we were on our way to Space Mountain and I stopped to talk to my sister, Abby, for a couple of seconds. Olivia and Emma saw me but just carried on. I tried to follow but lost them. I saw Emma further up the queue so I waited at the exit. Then I started seeing people who’d gone in after them come out. That included Mr P and he said if I hadn’t found them within 10 mins I should meet the teachers by the pink castle.

That’s what I had to do and I was trying so hard to hold back the tears. Then I saw Abby again and just cried with relief. Then her mates disappeared. We found Mr P again a lot later with Rina H and Caroline Middleton. We went on some pirate thing, Indiana Jones and Space Mountain overall. We did find her mates again and that’s who we went on Space Mountain with.

I fell out with Emma and Olivia until I was sure they were feeling really guilty and were genuinely sorry. Later I found out they’d been with Ewan and Charlie and James (gotta call Dougie that from now on) and people and I could’ve been too if they hadn’t run off.

Thursday 30th Journey back. Me and my mates got the back seat. I reckon (and so does Emma) that Ewan may fancy Olivia coz he kept asking her stuff like what music she likes and he was being nice.

The ferry crossing was top! It was dead rough and everyone was puking. I didn’t coz I stayed outside. [I’m much less likely to be seasick if I’m distracted by being freezing cold.] I spoke to Ewan a bit too. He had a baseball cap on so that increased the amount that I liked him.

[Not wearing his cap but he was holding one of his Leo DiCaprio wannabe sketches.]

[Stealth photo of Ewan. Not wearing his baseball cap but holding one of his Leo DiCaprio-wannabe sketches.]

Well, I’m home now and bored. All holiday, Emma was flirting with Charlie. It’s so unfair on Freddie. Slapper. Dougie went with Sophie Rowling and Gemma Crowther had an affair with Davis Nolan coz she’s going out with Adrian Ford.

Emma never went with Charlie even when he asked her but she bloody well encouraged him.

I like Dougie. I don’t fancy him, he’s just a nice guy. [How times change.] He was asking Abby how I was after Disney and he said he liked me to her.


Ferny’s an angel or summit – 21st & 22nd July 1998

Tuesday 21st The Swing Band went to 2 other primary schools. They both went quite well.

Dougie and Lena have split up. According to Dougie it was a mutual thing.

I went into the next village with Emma, Rach, Freddie and Ralph this evening. The lads were pissing us off a bit coz they were messing about and vandalising stuff. On the way back to Emma’s, Ralph asked me if I fancied Ferny now. I said no but I probably shouldn’t have done coz most people know I do anyway. He then started saying that he reckoned Ferny’s an angel or summit coz he won’t drink alcohol and he doesn’t have any feelings. He also wants to join the RAF or summit and I said that it’s probably so he can fly.

It’s gonna be an awful day tomorrow. First we’ve got a Year 10 assembly and Mr M’s going to embarrass us somehow. Then we’ve got English and we’ll have to stand up and tell the class summit humorous about work experience. In P.E. we’ll probably be doing all the athletics we’ve not done yet and for me that’s the 1500m and 800m. Then in the afternoon, I’ve got to play my flute in the Swing Band in front of the whole bloody school and I’ll probably have to get a platinum [mega swot] award certificate too.

Who knows what else will happen.


Wednesday 22nd It was the last day of school today. It wasn’t too bad but it could’ve been better.

Mr M’s assembly was as I thought it would be. He didn’t embarrass me though. He was just going back over the year and telling us stories about people. Then he started going on about the best excuses and stuff. He said the best excuse for being late was from Jim Brackenhurst with, “I had to bring in the cows.”

There were loads of others but the one I remember was the best absence note from Graham Baxter. It was something along the lines of:-

Dear Mr M,

Graham has been absent from school as he has been having muscle spasms in his neck. This has left his head in a peculiar position. The doctor said it’s the worst case he’s ever seen. Graham was not able to return to school until his head was able to move more freely.

I felt so sorry for him but it was funny.

Ralph also had to go down and get a card off the Food teacher Miss D coz he did so much for the carnival.

In English we didn’t do anything coz it was Mrs N’s last day in our school so we were giving her presents and stuff.

It was a top P.E. lessons. Most people just joined the Music group for kareoki [Spellchecker hates me for that.] but me, Rach and Mr P-K were bored so he found a starter pistol in the bottom of a drawer. He decided to try it out so he filled it up and pretended he was a cowboy in the Sports Hall. Then he let me and Rach have 4 shots each. He’s gotta be one of the best teachers. He gave us Extra Stong Mints too.

The last assembly was so humiliating. We had to play 3 sad songs in Swing Band [Sad as in rubbish rather than totes emoshe.] and I was in full view of Ralph and Ferny who were sat there grinning at me. They knew I didn’t want to do it.

Jez Greenhalgh told Emma we sounded pretty good afterwards. Yeah, I know, but it was still embarrassing and that was a sheep’s opinion anyway.

We also had to do a free concert at the British Legion. It went quite well actually. While I was there, I was thinking about the lack of nice lads going to Paris. There’s only about 3 slightly above average and that’s Charlie Wilson, Dougie and Ewan Swann. [This is not the last you’ll read about Ewan Swann.] Oh well.


I’m single out of choice – 20th July 1998

Monday 20th Guess what. Yet again I’m bored. It must have summit to do with the fact that it’s raining and I have no homework.

I’ve had quite an easy day actually. I’ve been to 2 primary schools to give the Swing Band a practice before we go to Paris. This morning we went to Newlane and I had Hayley’s nieces waving and smiling at me all the way through and there was her nephew too on the front row.

In the afternoon we played at Mum’s school. This time half the school was waving at me and my mum pointed me out to her class. She also happened to be equipt with a camera.

Then Mr P made us stand up if we went there. It was good overall, even though we made a few kids cry coz we were too loud. There were loads sat there with their hands over their ears too. I thought we sounded really good actually.

I saw Ferny for the 1st time in about 2 weeks. He’s had his hair cut but is still looking as gorgeous as ever. He caught me staring at him too outside form room so I had to quickly divert my gaze to Ralph in hope that he didn’t notice.

Charlie Wilson is worrying me. He keeps smiling at me and talking to me. He’s never really bothered before.

Emma’s gone over to the pub across the road from my house this evening so she said she’d phone me later so we can sort out cinema arrangements. We’re meant to be seeing Godzilla at 6:00pm on Thursday so we need to tell people that and maybe ask a few more if they wanna come. It’s very unlikely that it’ll all go to plan, it never does.

So far there’s me, Rach, Emma, Ralph, Freddie and Graham going. I also want someone to ask Ferny. We also might get Dougie, Lena, Olivia, Lindsey, Ed and Davis to come and possible Jade and Hayley. We already know Georgia can’t come and Rach and I aren’t sure whether we want Hayley to come or not. It’s just if everyone else comes, we can’t not invite her.  Rach is just worried she’ll flirt with Graham and I’m worried she’ll get Ferny. She always comes up with a seating plan too which doesn’t involve any of the rest of us sitting with who we want to be sat with but we know that if we don’t keep her happy she’ll throw a tantrum, go depressed and will probably cry.

I know she likes Ferny though coz last time we went to the Sports Club she was regretting changing her mind and not going out with him. I reckon she’s gonna ask him out again coz she wants a boyfriend.

If I started getting all depressed like she does about not having a boyfriend I’d just remember that I’m single out of choice coz I had a chance with Ralph and didn’t take it.

Anyway, I might write again later when we’ve phoned people but I don’t reckon Emma’ll ring me. So…


P.S. Mr P’s getting married to some woman that’s been hanging round all day. He told a few people and now most people know. Yuk!

Great. Now Freddie thinks I fancy him. – 4th November 1997

Tuesday 4th I’ve had a pretty rough day today. Mum had a go at me this morning coz I refused to join Swing Band. She said I’m not going ton the trip to Paris unless I do. I’ve got to now. Grrrrr!

On the way to school I found out what really happened to Zoe yesterday. She told me and Emma that she went off up the road to get some food (Bollocks! There’s a café at the ice rink.) then got lost on the way back. That’s all she told us but, later on, Rachael Hollins told me that she saw Zoe walking back towards the ice rink and we would’ve passed her on the way to McDonald’s. So, Emma and I think she was on her way back and hid when she saw us coming coz she didn’t want us to see her crying (Rachael said she was).

Later on, Emma was talking to Tony Archer, this lad in 6th Form that Zoe knows and fancies. He asked Emma if she went skating with Zoe coz she’d phoned him up (in tears) and she told him she was lost and asked if he could pick her up. He couldn’t so he phoned her mum.

Meanwhile, Zoe phoned Ed’s mum (Ed told us this) and asked if they could pick her up. They also phoned her mum and that’s who got her eventually. What a daft cow!

When I was on the stairs outside form, Freddie and Ralph walked past. I took no notice and pretended I hadn’t seen them but when Dougie came up, he gave me a quick smile then grinned to himself. Weird!

At lunch, Dougie and Jez Greenhalgh were in the music rooms. We (me and Emma) were talking to Ed and asking him why he and his mum had been going round telling people that Emma fancied him. Dougie then butted in and said to Emma, “Freddie said you asked him out. Did you?” I just laughed until he said to me, “He said you and Georgia did too.”

My 1st thought was that he was lying until Jez backed him up. Then I went round all afternoon thinking what a bastard Freddie was until I told Hayley about it and she said she’d asked him out for us all in Drama and he said, “I dunno.”

Great. Now Freddie thinks I fancy him.

Other little things went wrong today, like I brought the wrong P.E. kit and I forgot some text books. [Disaster!]


I could actually like him! – 7th October 1997

Tuesday 7th I caught Dougie glancing at me today. Twice! [Thank GOD! Yesterday I thought he was never going to look at me again!]

First time was when he was coming up the stairs this morning for form and he walked past and glanced sideways at me. The second time he was coming down the stairs a few minutes later and he was sighing, I think, and he turn right round and looked at me again.

Too many people like him at the moment! There’s

Zoe’s sis in Year 7
Lizzie says she likes him but hasn’t mentioned him for a while
Emma denies liking him but I don’t believe her!

[They were just the ones I knew about. I definitely had more competition than that. Pretty much all the girls in school fancied Dougie because he’d moved from Cumbria and was therefore all exotic.]

Hmmm….. What else has happened today??? Oh yeah, Mrs P collapsed or something in the middle of the quad. I’ve heard so many different sides of it but I saw the ambulance.

I went to Swing Band this afternoon after school coz Mr P wants me and Emma to join for the Paris trip.

Davis kept winking at Lizzie in English so I asked him why and he just said something about her looking at him between blowing his bloody trumpet down my ear!

Charlie W kept smiling at me too. I hate to admit this but… well… he sorta looks cute when he does and I could actually like him! [I KNEW IT!!! There’s been way too much in my diary about how much I didn’t like him for that to be true. The lady doth protest too much and all that.]

Urgh!!! What am I saying?! Anyway, he hardly ever smiles and when he does, I’d better just not look!

Dougie was in the Music block at lunch actually. He was in a practice room with a few other lads on the kit. They all went out so he said he’d come and stand with us instead of being on his bill.

Hey, I hope Dougie doesn’t like Emma! He’s so horrid to her. Maybe he does it for attention! I hope not!


I don’t think anyone’s ever liked me – 2nd October 1997

Thursday 2nd Everyone was talking about the match last night. Most people in our school either support Liverpool or Man Utd coz we’re between the two. The odd person supports Bolton and teams like that but they usually keep quiet about it.

I wanna know who Dougie fancies. It’s probably one of the silly bitches who he and his mates usually hang round with.

I don’t think anyone’s ever liked me. Most of my friends have either been with [snogged] lads or been out with them but I haven’t. It’s not exactly counted on the internet coz they don’t know you.

When people talk about boyfriends they’ve had they then ask me about it. I can’t lie coz they know I’d tell them if something had happened. I’m not really that bothered but it’s just a bit embarrassing.

Just because I don’t go around in waist-length skirts and I happen to like football, some of my mates get a bit annoyed! That makes me go on about footy even more, especially to Emma coz she pretends she knows about it but hasn’t got a clue. She actually thought Ruud Gullit was Brian McClair!

OW!!! I just banged my knee on the desk! I’ve already done that once today.

There’s this trip to Paris with the Swing Band in school and Abby’s going. Yesterday, Emma was asked by Mr P if she wanted to go and he asked her to say the same thing to me. He’s ended up asking most of the orchestra and some of his form too. If he can get a lot of people to go, the price will drop a bit I think. I’ve not actually had a letter about this but Emma also told me that he wants us to join Swing Band too.

I haven’t heard any of this straight from Mr P so I don’t really know what’s going on. Also, Abby’s going so if I really can go then Mum and Dad are going to have to pay double which I feel really guilty about because I’m going on a ski trip as well.

Emma’s also not sure she can go unless she can find somewhere to say for a week when we get back coz her family is going away.

This is all in the first week of the summer hols 1998 so I won’t worry about it just yet! [As if. I could easily worry about something for an entire year.]