A day in the life of Tessa – 23rd May 2000

Tuesday 23rd Hayley was still speaking to me this morning. It just went back to how it is normally is. Although, she was in floods of tears when she was talking to Georgia about something. It was probably about Andy so I just kept out of it cos I’m getting sick of her repeating herself when she talks about him!

I saw Jake today. There was no mention of his mum between us. He did seem a bit quiet which would be understandable but then I’m not sure if he’s just normally like that and if I was just more aware of it today now I know there could be a reason behind it.

I told my mum about his mum on the way to Grandma’s tonight. I’ve been dreading telling her cos I don’t want her worrying about how I might be affected and stuff but I knew I’d have to say something eventually anyway.

She started asking me about Jake and what he’s doing now he’s left college and stuff so I took the opportunity to tell her about his mum while we were on the subject of him. She was on the edge of crying when I told her, I could tell by her voice and I could see her eyes beginning to fill up. I found it hard not to cry again myself, especially when she said how I’ll have to do a lot of supporting.

She’s the 3rd person that’s said that. First it was Mrs K then Hugo and now her. I know though!! It’s easier said than done. I’m so worried about saying the wrong thing to him or making him feel worse about it all.

My mum just kept saying how awful it is, especially with a young family, and how awful it’s going to be for her husband. I just wanted to get out of the car cos I thought I was going to cry and didn’t want her to see me do that cos she’d start worrying about me, and she’s got enough to worry about with Grandma and stuff.

I’ve told mum not to say anything to anyone or ask anyone if they know about it and she said she won’t.

Gethin’s done ‘A day in the life of Tessa’ now! →

a-day-in-the-life-of-tessa.jpg

It’s quite funny in parts, although I could take offence to it! I won’t though cos I know it’s only a joke really! A few other people could find it insulting too actually! Oh well!

Bye!

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Lots of really long snogs – 12th May 2000

Friday 12th I got messages from Jake in the night again. I said something about still being together in a month and I got one back saying, “OF COURSE WE WILL! I COULDN’T IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT YOU! SORRY ABOUT LUNCH! I FELT A BIT GUILTY COS WE’RE ALL LEAVING AND MY FRIENDS WANNA DO STUFF……” and then, “TOGETHER BUT I WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU! I KNOW WHEN YOU’RE NOT IMPRESSED! I’M SORRY FOR THAT! IT’S JUST I WON’T SEE SOME OF THEM AGAIN! LOVE YOU! J xxxxx”.

I told him it was okay and that I didn’t mind (cos yet again he made me feel guilty!) and then he said, “THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING! : ) NEXT WEEK WILL BE MUCH BETTER – I WON’T BE GOING TO ANY CLASSES AND I’LL BE DRUNK! YOU’LL HAVE TO COME ON FRI LUNCH! LOTS OF LOVE xJx”.

I then sent one saying I couldn’t complain cos I’m usually with my mates and that they seem to spend more time with him than I do. (They do! Even Cat said so!) Then today he asked me if I’d got it the wrong way round and if I’d meant I see him more than them cos, otherwise, it seemed really nasty! I lied and said I must’ve got it mixed up cos I was tired!

I don’t know if he was feeling guilty or if he was drunk or what but, at lunch, Jake was all over me, snuggling up to me (not normal!) and stuff! It was really nice actually and I got lots of really long snogs off him after college but that was probably to make up for not seeing me tonight. He said it’d be horrible without me.

He got a puncture on his car so I sent him a message asking if he’d got hime and he said, “YEH JUST GOT IT FIXED! THAT MECHANIC MUST HAVE BEEN ON STEROIDS OR SOMETHING! I WISH I COULD BE WITH YOU TOO! IT FEELS WRONG GOING WITHOUT YOU! : ) LOVE xJx”.

Well, this evening, Sarah and Floyd came round cos we’ve got no money to go out with. We’ve been laughing at this! →

A day in the life of JT

It’s a photocopy of something Andrew Bailey wrote about Jake cos apparently that group of friends were all writing stories about each other. The story is that he wrote it and someone left a copy in a science book which they handed in. Mr K’s daughter found it and read it so he was fuming and told Mr H. He then lined everyone up in his office and bollocked them all!!

Cat gave me a copy. She’d heard about it off Jenny and had asked Jake if she could see so he brought it in to show her but said not to tell anyone. That means I’ve got to keep it quiet. That’s so hard!!

Jake’s now in town. He phoned before but only cos I ‘accidentally’ rang him and hung up! He got dragged away by his mates though and I’ve had no message for ages even though he said he’d send me some. Not happy!

Bye!

P.S. I read some of Jake’s leaving book and Amanda Bryan’s entry said we make a lovely couple and she hopes we last. That was nice!

More songs remind me of Jake now. It’s usually just cos I’ve had nice messages or been with him while they’ve been playing a lot. They are the following songs that remind me of him and that I’m not going to be able to listen to when he goes away or whatever:

[Jesus F. Christ, I’m so embarrassed by this list.]

1. Hanson – If Only

2. Christina Aguilera – I Turn To You

3. Point Break – Freaky Time

4. Moloko – The Time Is Now

5. Lonestar – Amazed

[In return, 2018 Jake has informed me that this reminded him if me…]