What a waste of a fine, fine creature – 7th January 2000

Friday 7th Freda has been slagging off Lizzie now for going on and on about Gethin in front of Sarah because it’s common knowledge that Sarah fancies him. I suppose it is a bit unfair.

The other day, Sarah started sending messages to Hayley’s Andy’s mate. Her batteries ran out yesterday so I said I’d send them from my phone because she wasn’t sure what to say either as he’s a bit pervy. The first message she sent to him was, “Roses r red, apples r green, I’ll open my legs + u can fill me with cream!” [Ew! Sarah!!] It’s dirty but so’s he. It was from a message sent to Lizzie from one of her swimmer mates yesterday. We thought it was quite good so she used it!

He replied saying something about, “Are you good?” and “Your place or mine?” So she sent another saying, “Oh believe me I am! How about somewhere in between? Roses r red, my pants r blue, I’ll take them off + let u get through!” (Sorry, I usually write out text message stuff in capitals. I forgot. I’ll do the rest how I usually do. Just thought I’d say so to save any confusion as to why I’ve changed back to capital letters.) The poem sent in that message was my creation. I was quite proud!

He sent a message back to us which h said, “FANCY YOURSELF AS A BIT OF A POET DO U? HOW OLD R U? WHAT DO U LOOK LIKE? HAVE U GOT BIG….. WHAT R URE VITAL STATS? WHAT DO U TASTE LIKE? IF U KNOW WHAT I MEAN.”

She sent another back with more poetry saying, “DO U NOT THINK I’M A GOOD POET? HERE’S ANOTHER ONE: ROSES R RED, HOMER IS YELLOW, U SOUND LIKE A SHAGGABLE FELLOW! HOW LONG IS URE…..?” (That’s Homer as in Homer Simpson.)

His reply was, “I HAVEN’T EXACTLY MEASURED IT B4 BUT I’VE NEVER HAD ANY COMPLAINTS – IN FACT ONLY COMPLIMENTS! I GUESS U’LL HAVE 2 CUM + C 4 YOURSELF!”

The next message we got from him was, “HELLO SWEETIE, HOW YA DOING? IS YOUR MATE GOING 2 HAVE ANDY?!” We sent one to him asking if he was going bowling tonight but he didn’t answer so we sent, “HEY BABE! R U GONNA ANSWER ME OR NOT? HERE COMES SOME MORE OF MY STUNNING POETRY: ROSES R RED, MY COAT IS BLACK, I WANT U TO HAVE ME FLAT ON MY BACK!” Isn’t it good?! [We clearly didn’t have enough college work at this point in time.]

He replied, “HELLO BITCH WHAT R U DOING? I’M OUT OF THAT SHITHOLE NOW. GOING 2 SLEEP COS I’M KNACKERED!!” We replied, “CHILL!! I’VE BEEN AT COLLEGE SO I SWITCHED MY PHONE OFF. WHAT’S UP WITH U? I DIDN’T REALISE U WERE AT WORK B4. SORRY. X”

He said, “WHAT COLLEGE R U AT? OH BY THE WAY I THINK WE R GOING LA BOWL 2NIGHT. NOT GOING TOWN OR DRINKING COS I’VE GOT PISSING FLU.” I sent another asking his name. He said, “MARK. ANDY’S GOT TOSILITOUS – IF THAT’S HOW U SPELL IT – + I’VE GOT FLU, MAYBE ANOTHER TIME EH – IF YOUR LUCKY!”

I’m just including these in here for future reference so I can delete them from my phone.

I went bowling tonight with Hayley, Rachael and Georgia. Everyone else went to the cinema but you can’t hang about and talk there which is why I didn’t go. 4 blokes (3 aged 21 and 1 aged 23) were on the lane next to us. Rach and I thought they were horrible and creepy but the other 2 didn’t. We went on the dodgems with them and then in the bar.

Rach and I kept our distance and so did Hayley when they got more pissed. She says she saw them passing packets to each other and they kept disappearing to the toilets and stuff. I think they were doing drugs so we went home.

Georgia snogged 2 of them before we left though. One of them was really red coz he’s been on a sunbed and said he had a white bum though. He bloody well showed us! I was glad to be rid of them. They kept saying I looked intelligent!

There were loads of fit lads there too. One of which was constantly staring at me. This time I don’t just think he was, he actually WAS staring at me! Even when I looked back he didn’t look away. As soon as he came in our direction though, the bloody taxi came!

I’ve just been informed Jacqueline’s going out with Danny Barnes. NOOOO! What a waste of a ‘fine, fine creature’ as Lizzie’d put it! BUGGER!

BYE!