I had visions of Gethin conga-ing in – 24th & 25th April 2000

Monday 24th – Tuesday 25th I went to Brian’s tonight with Hayley but there was hardly anyone there when we arrived so we left again and went for a walk to the shop to get food and a bottle of Sprite for Floyd. When we got back to Brian’s, everyone had moved in from the garden and up to Brian’s room. It was then I got told that nobody could stop over because Brian had to go to work in the morning. Not only that but we had to be gone by midnight so I wouldn’t be able to see Jake. To say I was pissed off would’ve been a major understatement!

Brian’s was extremely boring so Gethin and Keira Osborne left and went to Claire’s little gathering. A while later, Sarah received a message from Gethin saying she, Hayley, Jake and I were invited and it was on all night so we could stop there if we wanted.

Just before we’d been invited to that, I’d sent Jake a message telling him the bad news about Brian’s and he sent me one back saying, “FUCK!! EXCUSE THE FRENCH! WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL MY PARENTS? – I HAVEN’T GOT MY KEYS EITHER! NEED TO SEE YOU! LOOKS LIKE I’M SLEEPING IN THE CAR AGAIN THEN! LOVE YOU! x” so I thought he’d be pleased to hear that we could go to Claire’s! He was!

We made an excuse that Hayley wasn’t well and Sarah and I were staying over at her house so that Brian wouldn’t get offended at us leaving early. I thought there’d be a lot of people at Claire’s but there was only Gethin, Keira, Maisie Jones, Kyla Hague, Marty Wallace and his boyfriend Adi so it was quite good.

Kyla kept telling me how lucky I was to be going out with Jake and Gethin kept telling me dead seriously how I was a top mate and how it was really good how even though I’ve got a really nice boyfriend, I don’t go on about it all the time. It was really nice to hear that from him.

Sarah was kept happy because Gethin snogged her twice and Hayley was kept happy because Andy wanted to speak to her and did!

Jake arrived at 12:15 am which was quite a bit earlier than I thought he’d be there. He said he was really tired after work and stuff so, while Adi and Gethin were looking up someone having sex with a chicken on the internet, Claire give Jake a bed. I went in to talk to him but didn’t get in bed too even though he wanted me too because I was kind of testing myself to see if I could resist temptation!

It turns out I can’t!

I wasn’t in there long when Gethin wandered in and I was made to go downstairs while he had “a word” with Jake. He then came and got me and shut me in the bathroom with him while he had “a word” with me too. He said he’d said the same thing to Jake but I don’t know what he was saying to me either cos I was annoyed with him for interfering so I forced myself not to listen!

All I took in from what he said was that Jake was confused as to why I’d been trying to make him drink. It was just cos we were pissed and he was sober so I was trying to get him drunk so he wouldn’t notice if we made fools of ourselves! Then Gethin was asking if I’d had sex with Jake yet and then if I wanted to.

I stormed back upstairs cos I was so annoyed with Gethin and asked Jake what he’d said to him. When he wouldn’t tell me, I got up to leave but he grabbed me and pulled me onto the bed and made me feel sorry for him so I ended up staying. That’s where I stayed for the rest of the night except when I went downstairs for hot dogs and when I went to see if Gethin was okay cos he’d had a nasty message off Cat Elliot accusing him of splitting up the group or something. Oh yeah, I also went down to get a drink of water and caught Marty and Adi snogging in the kitchen.

Jake and I stayed in bed while everyone else was downstairs watching Queer As Folk all night. We started off just kissing but then he told me to take my top off but I flatly refused cos I had visions of Gethin conga-ing in with everyone else! We got to 3. We didn’t do much after that cos we kept hearing people coming up the stairs. We either kissed or he lay there just looking at me or talked about stuff. The university and Canada things came up again. He said that if we split up, he wouldn’t be the one to end it.

In the early hours of the morning, we got joined by Claire’s monster, fluffy, ginger cat. It’s so nice! It just lay there when Jake rested his legs on it. Jake didn’t like it at first but was then being really cute with it when he realised how docile it was!

I didn’t want to get out of bed but Mum phoned me to see where I was, tell me the hare had died, and that she and Abby were going shopping. Jake took me home at about 11:00 am.

Bye!

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Worried? Bollocks! – 11th July 1999

[Jesus. This entry is 8 and a bit pages of post-party analysis! I’ll see how I get on but there may have to be a ‘to be continued’…]

Sunday 11th Okay, I’ll fill you in a bit more on last night’s party cos it was about 1:30am when I wrote that last entry and I wasn’t exactly sober.

When I first arrived with Hayley, we saw Matt Carrera (Zoe’s older brother) heading away from the house with Danny Barnes, Gary Willis and a few more of his mates so when we got inside there was hardly anyone there. More people did start slowly arriving and Zoe insisted that more people were coming.

As soon as Emma arrived, Hayley went very quiet. She hadn’t exactly looked like she was enjoying herself beforehand but this made her worse.

Ewan was meant to have arrived by 8:45 but he still wasn’t there by 9:00 so I was convinced he wasn’t coming but then at about 9:30 I went to get another drink and I saw him and Davis in the kitchen. They disappeared outside for a bit with Emma, after which she came running back in and told me they’d decided I was fit and Ewan stuck his head round the door and grinned at me.

At every possible opportunity, Hayley began slagging me off to Cat and people in front of Ewan and she was telling them how I was only pretending to be pissed. Believe me, I wasn’t pretending! It was obvious to me why she was doing this in front of him. It was cos she was so scared that I’d get together with him and she wouldn’t have a lad. A real friend wouldn’t do that. Anyway, the night looked like it went her way, miserable cow! I bet she’s pleased with herself.

Later on, I decided to go for a wander round the living room. I passed Davis and Gary and Davis patted the seat next to him and told me to sit down and talk with them so I did. Then Ewan came back, sat next to me and started up a conversation. Gary was asking us if we were staying on at 6th Form (we both are) and what we are taking for A Level. Ewan’s doing 4 of them – Maths, Physics, Chemistry and Biology so he said he’d see me in Biology.

Then we started talking about jobs and he told me he’s quit at the garden centre because it paid badly but he was thinking of going back and he asked me if I was working anywhere. I said I was considering Ikea cos my dad said it’s meant to be good there and I had an application form. He asked what my dad did so I said he’s an architectural technician/builder. I’m not quite sure what happened after that but it probably wasn’t interesting.

Adrian Ford arrived a bit later and sometime after that we went for that walk. I wanted to go cos Ewan was but I didn’t want to just follow them so it was lucky that Emma dragged me along too. As we were getting towards the park, Ewan was worrying that he was carrying bottles and thought the police were going to drive by. They didn’t.

Somehow, I ended up admitting that I used to fancy Danny Barnes. I think Emma mentioned it so there was no point in denying it. I said, “Yeah, I used to fancy you” and Ewan turned round and said, “Me?” I told him I meant Danny but Emma told Ewan that I used to like him too. I can’t remember what I said to that. Probably nothing.

We reached the park and I sat on a swing. Ewan sat on the one next to me. We started talking about holidays and I told him how I was going to Belgium and then Scotland and he said he’d never been to Scotland so I told him it was a bit boring for most people cos it’s all mountains and stuff but I liked it up there cos of my relatives too. He said he’d probably like it cos he likes places like that.

He told me how he’d been to Ireland and was going to Wales soon for a while. I said how my family were going to go there for a week or so because of more family there but we decided not to. That’s when he said I could go to Wales with him if I liked. He said Adrian and Robert Osbourne and the Maine twins were going too and they’d be there for the eclipse. They’re going somewhere near Abersoch. I’m not sure if he really meant it when he kept saying, “Come!” but I wish he had!

The subject changed onto how many people Zoe fancies and then he asked me again what I was doing for A Level. We noticed Emma and Adrian going with [snogging] each other at the bottom of the slide and the subject got changed again.

After a while, I asked if he thought we should go back to Zoe’s. He said “no” and asked if I wanted to cos he’d walk back with me but I told him I didn’t really want to go back but I just thought that maybe we should. We did, well, Ewan, Danny and I did. We left the other 2 at the bottom of the slide.

On the way back, Danny was being very quiet (he was sober coz he was driving) so Ewan and I just talked to each other. He asked me again what I was taking for A Level and then asked me where I lived. I’d told him where earlier but he wanted to know whereabouts. I said, “Across the road from The Green Dragon, next door to the Methodist church. The house with the red van outside saying ‘D V Simpson Constructions’ on it.” He seemed to know where I meant.

When we got back to Zoe’s, Cat came up to me and said I’d better go and talk to Hayley and other people were telling me to go outside. I went out and saw Hayley in floods of tears. I couldn’t really have cared less coz I knew what she was playing at. I just thought I’d better look like I was concerned for everyone else’s benefit.

Hayley told me she’d been really worried when I went off and was asking me why I had to keep going off with Emma. I felt like telling her the truth, that she was being a miserable sod but Emma was having fun (come one, which one would you choose to talk to?!) but instead I said summit about not being sure why Hayley wasn’t speaking to me and how Emma was upset about Davis. She seemed to accept that answer and forgave me.

I went along with it even though I was still very pissed off with her coz it wasn’t worth the hassle of doing otherwise. All she was really trying to do was spoil my fun (coz I was having some and she wasn’t) by making me feel guilty. I pretended to feel guilty by repeatedly apologising but I wasn’t really bothered.

I was meant to be going and staying over at Hayley’s but I didn’t want to leave and she did so I said I’d walk her home with Cat but I was going back to Zoe’s. She didn’t seem to mind which surprised me.

When I arrived back at Zoe’s again, Emma was asleep on Ewan’s shoulder so I sat down and talked to him and Adrian for a bit. Ewan then disappeared so later I went upstairs with Ed and we found him on the Playstation in Matt’s room. I sat on the floor and watched.

Soon after that, Lizzie’s dad arrived and dropped me, Emma and Cat off at home. Ewan was still there when I left. I’m pretty disappointed that nothing happened coz I’ll probably not get another chance but I suppose at least I’ve talked to him now, even if it was a load of crap! I don’t think he really likes me much in a ‘fancy’ kind of way coz, even though he did keep talking to me a lot and kept smiling at me, there were a few times when I was in a room and he went out. Surely he wouldn’t have done that if he liked me. Never mind, hey?!

There were a few times when I still got a bit embarrassed though such as when Freda yelled across the room, “Tess, do you still like Ewan?” and he was stood there. In the kitchen I think both me and Ewan spilt drinks and someone (Emma, I think) said, “Oh, you see, you’re made for each other!” I don’t want to start liking him again coz I’ve been much happier when I haven’t liked anyone in particular but it looks like I’m heading that way!

Hayley’s just phoned me. I didn’t make any comment on how she was behaving towards me last night coz it’d be more trouble than it’s worth. Anyway, she said she was talking to Ewan and she asked him if he liked me and according to her (she’s not exactly a reliable source of information coz she either exaggerates or cuts bits out) he said summit like, “I don’t know, I’ve not talked to her yet. That can be my mission for the night.” Then apparently she told him to go and talk to me then coz there was a spare seat next to me or something. I’m not going to take much notice of any of that coz it was Hayley who told me.

I’ve just got back from the Sports Club now. I was with Hayley who keeps apologising for her behaviour last night but she told me that the party made her realise just how much she hated Emma.

I mentioned what Davis and Ewan said about me being fit an she started telling me not to believe a word of it because it was Emma who told me and she’s a liar. Hayley just can’t be please for me, can she?! Why does she have to be so jealous? I can’t agree with her about Emma at all and she knows it puts be in an awkward position when she slags her off like that. It’s as if she’s testing me to see how I’ll react.

When Hayley went to the toilet, Aled and Oscar came in and Oscar was telling me about how worried Hayley was when I went off last night and how she was going round asking everyone if they’d seen me. Worried? Bollocks! Was she heck worried! She was more likely to have been making out that she was the caring friend to gain sympathy and make me look bad. I honestly can’t believe she was genuinely worried about me. It was obvious I was coming back coz my bag was still there and I wasn’t the only one who went anyway.

I remembered before that Ewan was smoking. That’s not good! Although I also remember hearing him say that he wasn’t actually inhaling. I’ve decided I’m not going to get my hopes up about him coz, as usual, it’ll probably only end in me being disappointed again.

BYE!

[Well, I made it through the lot. That was long and boring. Sorry about that!]

He will go with me if he gets pissed – 9th & 10th July 1999

Friday 9th I went to the primary school this afternoon. The rugby players were there again but I had to keep an eye on the kids so I couldn’t really stare at them!

The second Summer Prom concert was tonight. It went quite well again and, even though I found it a bit tedious, I think the audience enjoyed it.

It’s about 12:30am and I’ve just got in coz I ended up going to The Coach and Horses with everyone. Except I ended up outside it coz they stopped letting anyone wearing a white shirt into the bar! A lot of people went back to Stuart Hobbs’s so, after a while, Freda, Poppy, Cat and I followed. Everyone was just sat outside in the street talking so we joined in until his dad came out and told us the neighbours were complaining.

Then the 4 of us plus Ed walked round to show Cat where Zoe lives so she knows for tomorrow night and we ended up back at Ed’s. His family were still up and his mum told Freda her dad was mad with her coz he’d been driving round trying to find her. She phoned and her mum went to Kwik Save car park so, after walking Poppy back, Freda’s mum dropped me back here at home.

At one point, Ed told me that he thought Ollie Bramwell fancied me coz apparently he’s said things such as, “She’s quite a nice girl, Tess” and “Tess has got a really nice body”.

Emma also told me that if Ewan Swann does go to Zoe’s party then he will go with [snog] me if he gets pissed whether I want to or not. I don’t know where she’s got that idea from though! I don’t even think he’s going to be there coz he was just one of the names Zoe mentioned of the lads who are supposedly going but no-one’s sure if they are actually going to be there or if she’s just telling people this so we’ll go! I suppose I’ll find out.

BYE!

Saturday 10th So much for Ewan will go with me. Nothing happened other than when he first arrived (sober), Emma ran in and told me that Ewan and Davis had unanimously decided I was fit. I went for a walk with Ewan but only to the park and we were accompanied by Danny Barnes, Adrian Ford and Emma.

Ewan and I were getting on pretty well but other than that he didn’t seem at all interested so I’m pretty disappointed to tell you the truth.

Lizzie’s dad gave me a lift home and Ewan was still there when I left so he’s probably snogged someone else. [I think I might’ve had a Bacardi Breezer or two… my handwriting was pretty skew-whiff by the end of this entry!]

BYE!

She was giving him kissing techniques – 30th August 1998

Sunday 30th You know how I really didn’t want to go last night? Well, one I got there, I didn’t want to leave. It was really good and I ended up staying over at Emma’s.

There was a group of us all in the caravan. There was me, Emma, Suzanna [formally known as Suzanna the Slapper], Lauren Bradford, Ralph, Freddie, Mike Wardle and Drew Wardle. They were all pissed except me but I still had fun. Who needs alcohol anyway?

Ralph was annoying everyone. He fancied Lauren and was just pissing everyone else off anyway. Towards the end (about 3:30am) he was sat drinking, talking and smoking with a right bunch of saddos. The one he was getting along with most turned out to be gay. At least he pulled for once! He’s also that desperate for mates that he was acting like a slave and doing everything people asked him to. What he didn’t realise was that people were only sending him to get rid of him.

Suzanna and Mike Wardle were getting on very well. They were going with [snogging] each other all the time and she told me and Emma later that she’d been wanking him off too.

Emma was completely out of it and was going with Drew Wardle (who’s 19). He’d drunk a lot but was acting a bit more normal than everyone else. Emma also went with Freddie a few times but couldn’t really remember this morning.

Lauren was with me for most of the time. I was helping her avoid Ralph coz he kept trying to sit next to her and stuff. She went home quite early though.

Freddie, well, what can I say? He was pretty pissed too. He was getting really emotional and kept crying to start with. It was all about Emma and how much he still liked her and he couldn’t get over her and how she wasn’t helping by keeping snogging him and flirting with him.

He was also getting dead jealous of Drew. I had to stop him from barging in on them. He kept wanting to tell me about all this coz Emma advised him to talk with me or Suzanna. He said the same things to both of us over and over and over and over…

Towards the end, Freddie was getting very friendly with Martha Seymour (who’s 23) and they were talking a lot and she was giving him kissing techniques like telling him to kiss a lot slower. When most people had gone home, Freddie went round to the Seymour house to meet [snog] Martha. Twice.

We managed to get him back but we’re not sure what went on. He’s told Ralph that he shagged her and he’s told Emma that he nearly did but then the phone rang. I’m not sure which to believe.

Seeing as I was the only sober one, I found it quite funny watching everyone else not knowing what they were doing and making total fools of themselves. I also heard quite a few interesting things. I heard that:

  • Emma did actually go with [snog] Ralph in town when they were pissed one Friday.
  • Ralph fancies Emma.
  • I heard from Emma that Ralph said he still liked me and that the hate thing was all an act.
  • Freddie shagged Heather Newton that time when he drank too much Bacardi and would up in a field with hypothermia. (I reckon the Heather part was added in to impress Suzanna though.)
  • I heard from Emma that Freddie has asked her if she minded if he went after me.

I was getting on pretty well with Freddie though. Even when he sobered up a bit, he was having a proper conversation with me. I like Freddie, although I’m not too impressed about the Martha thing. Even this morning we were getting on and he seemed to find what I said was funny when I was taking the piss out of Ralph having pulled a bloke. Before he would probably have just stuck up for Ralph.

I can’t stand Ralph. He’s such a dick. Suzanna’s alright actually and she can’t stand him either. She described him as a purple, crusty carrot (PCC is Ralph from now on).

I’m tired now coz I’ve just got in from the Italian for Hayley’s birthday do and I didn’t get much sleep last night.

BYE!

Dougie gave me a Xmas card – 18th December 1997

Thursday 18th I helped with the Senior Citizens’ Party this afternoon and it was a lot better than I expected. We had to go at the beginning of lunchtime coz some of them had come early (the old people that is). Emma and I were a bit nervous coz we didn’t really know what to say to any of them so we sat at a table so they would have to sit with us. Rani and Polly Grady sat with us. [They were not old people.]

We were waiting for ages but the people on the doors weren’t bringing them to us so we went and said we’d ‘grab a granny’ as they walked in. But none of us wanted to ask them if they wanted to sit with us and we all went shy.

We sat down again and a man and his wife came and sat with us. I can’t remember his name but she was called Meg. She couldn’t speak and was in a wheelchair because of a stroke. He made up for both of them though with the talking part! Then a blindish lady sat down too and another lady called Janet S did as well.

The 1st thing we did was Bingo, then pass the parcel. There were 4 parcels going round the room and they had both prizes and forfeits in them. It was horrible! Every time we got the parcel we panicked and got rid of it as fast as possible! It only actually landed on our table once and we were all dreading it being a forfeit. Thankfully it wasn’t. They were things like dance and sing and eat as many marshmallows as you can in a short space of time.

After that we all relaxed a bit and played Beetle Drive but everyone cheated! Then the food came, then the Spice Girls (well, the wannabes from my year), then we had to sing Xmas carols.

I’m not going into school tomorrow so this was my last day this year. We’re going up to Wick on Saturday so we need to get sorted. Plus, we don’t want to go in coz of the school assembly where the orchestra are playing.

I was dead pleased when Dougie gave me a Xmas card at lunch and even more when I opened it! [It said ‘Loads of love’! *teenage me hyperventilates and faints*]

If you can’t get the card out, it probably means I’ve glued it down by mistake. Okay?!

December 1997 - Xmas card

Emma’s card off him was funny too. He’d written more-or-less the same thing then added, “That could be us one day!” at the end. He’d written it coz on the front there was a piccy of a nun and a monk under the mistletoe.

My first reaction was, “Oh God, he fancies her!” but then when I thought about it, it’s not the sort of thing you write in a card to someone you fancy, just in case they laugh at you. But then again, Dougie’s not exactly normal sometimes!

Emma completely embarrassed me in front of Ralph and Own Kendal today. I asked her if she’d told Ralph that I don’t fancy him and she went and did it there and then!

BYE!