They think they could be pregnant! – 23rd January 2001

Tuesday 23rd
10 weeks + 2 days to go!

I had a geography module exam this morning. I only started revising last night so I’m not entirely sure how well it went!

Karen and Rory are officially a couple too now! This College 2 girl and College 1 lad thing’s really catching on! He asked her out via text message last night. It’s quite sweet actually but all these people getting together doesn’t half rub in the fact that I’m alone for ages and have to stay that way!

I suppose I should be grateful that I’ve got a nice, fit boyfriend, even if he is in Canada (which isn’t much use to me right now!) cos some people haven’t got anyone! Seeing Lizzie and Declan all over each other all the time certainly doesn’t help though cos I’m missing being like that with someone. 😦

Mind you, I’m not the only one feeling a bit sorry for myself at the moment. Sarah’s still miserable about Maz and not getting any emails from him when she checks every 5 minutes.

Cat’s also miserable about Mr L [one of our teachers] too but then so’s Donna Sharpe. Cat and Donna actually spoke to each other today about him and discovered the truth. He’s been stringing them both along. It turns out that the reason why Donna spread a rumour about Cat sleeping with Mr L is because she heard that he’d been giving her lifts home so she put 2 + 2 together and came up with that cos that’s exactly what he’d been doing to her.

Donna and Cat now both know that Mr L’s been contacting the other one and if one wouldn’t go round to his house, he’d ask the other. It turns out that the day Cat said no, he asked Donna and she did go round and she did sleep with him.

They’re now both angry with him rather than each other and they’re now plotting revenge! I mean, they could just get him sacked but before they do anything that drastic, they intend to play a few games with him.

There’ve been 2 ideas so far:

  1. Both go to him separately and tell him that they think they could be pregnant! However, that wouldn’t have worked because Cat’s never slept with him.
  2. Act like they’re best mates around him so that he’ll be left wondering whether they know about each other! I think they’ll do that one!

I still can’t believe all this! You hear about it happening to other people but it’s weird when it’s in your school, involving one of your friends!

Both Cat and I are being haunted by skiing! We REALLY want to go but can’t! Everything at the moment seems to revolve around skiing! Mainly it’s cos of the school trip at half term which everyone seems to be going on. Then, everybody is not only talking about it but got all their equipment sent to school today. And:

  • My sister’s using something about the heights of ski resorts for her maths coursework.
  • The PG Tips advert has got one of the chimps coming back from a skiing holiday on it.
  • Ski competitions are on the TV all the time.
  • There are loads of adverts in the paper about it.

Worst of all is Jake who’s getting to ski for 3 months! I know I shouldn’t be jealous of my own boyfriend but I can’t help it!

One of the things Jake and I planned to do together in the future was to go skiing but if I went with him he’d just try and tell me what I should/shouldn’t be doing cos he’ll be dead good (well, I think he is anyway) but I really want to go skiing! It’s not fair!

I pretty much told him all that on the phone tonight (he probably thinks I’m pathetic now!) cos all I wanted was reassurance that he won’t be like that and I will be able to ski again. But no! He almost completely agreed with me, saying we’d only end up falling out cos he’ll be better than me and I won’t like it! Fine then!

He didn’t really have much else to say as usual but I got another “I love you” out of silence! 🙂

I’ve just been having a really long talk with Mum. It was quite good! We have them every so often and just talk about all sorts. She told me I’m very wise and there’s common sense in everything I say, like Dad apparently. I told her I don’t like people very much (I mean, I do but I just don’t like how people have to make everything so complicated!) and she said Dad’s always said that! She says the wise part runs in his side of the family cos my Grandma’s the same. Mum said I’m like her in other ways though.

She can be interesting to talk to when you get into a proper conversation. I just wish she wouldn’t put herself down so much cos she’s not as bad as she seems to think!


Today’s emails →

23-01-01 Jake email

23-01-01 Tess email

Putting ice on various parts of each other’s bodies – 15th August 2000

Tuesday 15th Jake came round to mine today and persuaded me to go to the Trafford Centre tonight. The people who went were me, Jake (obviously!), Hugo (twat!), Gethin, Robbie, Clara and Sandra.

We started off in the Rainforest Café where I ate half a raw burger cos I couldn’t see cos of the fake thunderstorms and stuff so I complained and we got it free. I then panicked I’d get food poisoning and rang Mum to ask if that was possible. She said it was and that she’ll be livid if I’m ill for going to Scotland on Friday and that it’s my own fault for not eating something sensible in the first place! Charming!

Then we went to the cinema. We saw Diane Oxbury with TV cameras there from the North West Tonight news. We avoided them!

We saw Gone in 60 Seconds (again!), although Jake and I were messing about putting ice on various parts of each other’s bodies!

In the taxi on the way home there was just me, Jake and Gethin in one. Gethin said Hugo had been slagging us off and Jake got pissed off and ended up telling me that Hugo had once said Jake could do better than me (that really hurts my feelings!) and that he should pull loads of girls on the cruise. He promises he won’t and doesn’t want to anyway. Hugo also reckons we’re not suited and won’t last long. Bastard!

In texts later, Jake told me that Hugo had once asked him, “Where do you put it?” when they were talking about ‘stuff’! I’m considering posting Hugo a book on growing up or something, like you buy kids when you don’t want to tell them yourself where babies come from!


P.S. Gethin starts work at The Green Dragon on Sunday but I’ve not heard from them. 😦 I don’t think they want me!

A day in the life of Tessa – 23rd May 2000

Tuesday 23rd Hayley was still speaking to me this morning. It just went back to how it is normally is. Although, she was in floods of tears when she was talking to Georgia about something. It was probably about Andy so I just kept out of it cos I’m getting sick of her repeating herself when she talks about him!

I saw Jake today. There was no mention of his mum between us. He did seem a bit quiet which would be understandable but then I’m not sure if he’s just normally like that and if I was just more aware of it today now I know there could be a reason behind it.

I told my mum about his mum on the way to Grandma’s tonight. I’ve been dreading telling her cos I don’t want her worrying about how I might be affected and stuff but I knew I’d have to say something eventually anyway.

She started asking me about Jake and what he’s doing now he’s left college and stuff so I took the opportunity to tell her about his mum while we were on the subject of him. She was on the edge of crying when I told her, I could tell by her voice and I could see her eyes beginning to fill up. I found it hard not to cry again myself, especially when she said how I’ll have to do a lot of supporting.

She’s the 3rd person that’s said that. First it was Mrs K then Hugo and now her. I know though!! It’s easier said than done. I’m so worried about saying the wrong thing to him or making him feel worse about it all.

My mum just kept saying how awful it is, especially with a young family, and how awful it’s going to be for her husband. I just wanted to get out of the car cos I thought I was going to cry and didn’t want her to see me do that cos she’d start worrying about me, and she’s got enough to worry about with Grandma and stuff.

I’ve told mum not to say anything to anyone or ask anyone if they know about it and she said she won’t.

Gethin’s done ‘A day in the life of Tessa’ now! →


It’s quite funny in parts, although I could take offence to it! I won’t though cos I know it’s only a joke really! A few other people could find it insulting too actually! Oh well!


She doesn’t trust the internet at all! – 1st & 2nd April 2000

Saturday 1st Boring day. I’ve been attempting to get through the hills of homework that’ve gradually accumulated on my bedroom floor, but unsuccessfully!

Jake’s been in Birmingham visiting his grandparents or something. I’ve only had one message from him saying that he’s be shopping and has bought skis. He must’ve sobered up, damn it!! I liked the messages I got last night better. I wonder if he can remember what he put!

For future reference: Got a message from Sarah saying if I want free text messages from on the internet then I can use her ‘Genie’ username and password. I don’t really want to put mine in cos Mum’d go mad if she found out I’d given our password out. She doesn’t trust the internet at all!

USERNAME = sllewellyn


Sunday 2nd It’s Mother’s Day so we just got ours the usual – chocolates, flowers and a card. We’re not very imaginative at the last minute!

I went to Chester to shop with Sarah today. I was in search of a denim jacket but ended up with a black one and a pair of black cut-off trousers instead. I got them both from that Cheshire Oaks place after we didn’t find anything in Chester. My trousers are from Pilot and the jacket’s a Chilli Pepper one.

Chilli Pepper coat

The jacket.

When I got him I started watching the Bolton v. Villa FA Cup semi-finals match. I’m gutted Bolton lost on penalties. See as Man Utd aren’t in it this season, I’d like to have seen Bolton get through to the finals. I suppose they did well anyway. Jake said he wanted them to win too.


There was this really fit trombone player – 14th-16th February 1999

Sunday 14th  I did a concert at the RNCM in Manchester today with Swing Band and then we went to see their band. There was this really fit trombone player called Paul Bright or summit. Actually, there were quite a few that weren’t bad.

I got to hear all about Emma’s night out yesterday from her. She told me that she went with [snogged] 8 people (slapper!) and that it was really good fun and it really boosts your self-esteem. She said that bit like I should try it. Well, I would if I ever got asked anywhere. I felt so left out again.

Yet again though, Emma was being pretty normal and I was getting on pretty well with her and she was showing me the Valentine’s card she was sending to Davis Nolan and stuff like that. There’s such a big difference in the way she acts around me on her own and how she is with the rest of them. It’s really frustrating too coz I really want to comment on it but I know it probably wouldn’t do me any good.

My mum made me feel even worse in the car on the way to take Grandma S home coz she kept pointing out places in Manchester where she used to go out. It would have been okay but then she told me that she was my age when she did that.

The fact that I have a big lack in my social life, Emma going out everywhere and my mum saying that has made me feel really great. NOT!


Monday 15th I got my Food project back today. Mum asked Mrs P about it last night and she said that the school would be open today so we went down and luckily my coursework was still there in the blue box. I’ve just got to get round to finishing it now!


Tuesday 16th P. [Period]

I went to the Trafford Centre with Hayley today. I enjoyed it actually and I spent over £100! I bought:

– a bluey-grey skirt
– black knee-length boots
– black shoes
– 3 CDs which were Britney Spears ‘Baby One More Time’, Lenny Kravitz ‘Fly Away’ and  Offspring ‘Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)’
– a bottle of CK Be
– a lip gloss

I think that was it anyway.

We’ve also been offered a job for Friday night. Hayley just went off to see who was in the snooker room at the Sports Club but she was gone for ages. I was just about to go and find her when she came back and showed me some business card. She said the lady at the food bit had called her over and asked if she and a mate (me!) wanted to do some waitressing on Friday night from 6:30pm to 10:30pm at Greenhalgh’s in Stockton Heath. She said that she’d take us and drop us at home afterwards.

So, Hayley said she’d let her know after she’d asked her parents and me. She was really unsure and didn’t really want to do it but between me, her mum and my mum she got persuaded into it and Lyn (the woman who asked) said she’d ring Hayley with the details tomorrow. She also said that Ste Rollinson (the year above us) and someone called Rob and Chris were doing it too. It could be a Rob from school but we’re not sure.


He looks cute when he laughs – 10th February 1998

Tuesday 10th Quite a few bits of boy stuff has happened today. Only little things though which must have been very ickle coz I can’t remember what I was going to write about.

Erm… my brain’s working hard… hmmm… er… oh yeah, one thing was Nigel Groves in the library today. He’s never really paid me much attention before but twice in one lunch he came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders, trying to make me jump.

Oh yeah. It’s all flooding back to me now. There was a ski meeting at break (2 more days to go!) and us lot all ended up sitting behind them lot. Freddie kept turning round and looking at us every 5 minutes, he was really annoying.

[Practicing wearing all the ski gear we’d cobbled together from various people.]

Jez was sat separately from them (They’re all horrid to him and think he talks to sheep. I think I might’ve told you that before.) and he kept edging his was towards them. He ended up next to Ralph who must have told him to bog off coz he moved away again.

I was trying hard not to stare at Ferny but it was hard coz I wanted to see how he was reacting to stuff. He looks cute when he laughs coz he’s got really big dimples.

Mrs L said summit about there being snow in Austria at this time of year (Duh!) and not green fields and sheep. When the sheep part was mentioned, most people turned round and looked at Jez. It’s tight but it was funny!

The other funny thing was when Miss P said, “Where’s Freddie Bevan?” He owned up and she said, “I’ve still got your undies.” He looked so embarrassed and me and Emma just burst out laughing. I dunno why Miss P had Freddie’s undies. Ooh, could start some rumours that could!

The gorgeous Mr L’s coming skiing now instead of Mr S who’s on crutches at the moment. Mrs L was nattering on at one point and Mr L was stood behind her, imitating her. She must’ve wondered why people were paying attention!

I saw Dougie on a street corner (Hmmm!) on the way home from school. I was in the car and tried to hide but he saw me so I waved. Mum asked, “Is he one of your friends?” She knows he is sort of, she just wants to find out more.

Hayley said Dougie’s broken up with Anna Collins. I dunno if it’s true or not. I’ll have to find out.


Dougie persuaded us into it – 8th November 1997

Saturday 8th It’s Freddie’s birthday! Emma said her dad could take us to the bonfire so I stayed at her house for tea. It was horrible! All the things I hate stuck on one plate! Baked beans, cucumber, tomato, raw carrot, baked potatoes and pizza. Gross!

I managed to force down the carrot, potato and pizza but I couldn’t eat the rest. There was something else too. I think it was some sort of bread but I didn’t risk eating it! [Did I think my best friend’s family was trying to poison me?]

We went to the Spar shop near the bonfire where we said we’d meet Olivia. She came at about 7pm and so did her younger sister. We walked to the park. It was dark but we just followed the crowds. It was only 50p to get in and we made our way up a hill so we could get a good view of the bonfire but everyone else has the same idea.

We saw Ralph and Freddie with their mates and some silly bitches so we kept out of the way. Dougie wasn’t with them.

The bonfire was really good. They hadn’t lit it so we could see that someone had made a really good haunted house out of it. There was really loud music and some fire-breathing blokes running around. Eventually it got set alight and we only stayed around to see it collapse! The fireworks were next and there were some dead good ones. It was a good show for 50p. [I always have liked a bargain.]

Afterwards, the 4 of us went back to the Spar. Olivia’s mum came to pick them up and it started raining. Emma and I weren’t sure what to do coz we couldn’t find a phone. We then decided to walk to Lucy’s house to ask if we could borrow their phone. I remembered that Lucy had told me she had family coming round and I told this to Emma as we were nearing the house. We chickened out of going.

We had just decided to go back to the Spar when I saw an Adidas coat on Dougie’s drive. It was him going in the garage for summit. He spotted us and asked what we were doing so Emma told him that we were stuck in his village and we were going to Lucy’s for the phone. He told us to go in and use his. We refused at first coz we felt a bit cheeky but Dougie persuaded us into it coz we were soaking.

March 1997 - Dougie's house front 2

[I did it! I went INSIDE his ACTUAL HOUSE that I had only been able to gaze at (and draw) from the outside before.]

He went in for a minute to ask his mum and came back out again and told us to wait coz she was just tidying up coz they were redecorating. He told us to come in and said he’d got rid of his family out of the kitchen so I could use the phone. I picked it up but there was no dialling tone so he sorted it out for me and I phoned my mum. I told her I was at Lucy’s which was the house with the pink light in the porch.  The only part I lied about was it being Lucy’s house coz there is a pink light outside.

Dougie offered us a drink but I didn’t want one and he told us to sit down. He said he’d been ill for the last few days and he didn’t go to the fire with Ralph and co coz they were getting pissed after and he said he had enough of a headache already.

It was quite funny really coz members of his family kept coming in to get stuff but he said it was just coz they were nosy. It started off with this littlest sister (who’s 10) coming in to make a cup of coffee. She kept dropping stuff and he told us it was just so she could stay longer to hear what we were talking about. Then his mum came in. She seemed nice enough and asked us if we wanted a drink or owt.

We ran out of things to say so we put Jaws on TV. Then Dougie’s dad came in and asked me if I had a white estate car.


[The car.]

I said yes and went outside. It was my mum. I said thanks to Dougie and he came out to wave us off so I thought I’d have to tell Mum the truth. I did but she said she didn’t mind.


Maybe they’ll make her look a bit different – 1st November 1997

Saturday 1st I’m back home now. I think another day of walking round shops could have been even more boring so I’m not too bothered.

We walked round Camden Market all morning and some of the afternoon. It was good coz it was all unusual little crafty stalls and a bit different but after an hour I got fed up and felt sick after the huge chocolate doughnut I’d eaten.

We did buy a few things. Mum got a handmade paper book and a cool mobile with little people on it all made out of banana leaves which the man said came from Tanzania.

November 1997 - Mobile

[We’re a family of hoarders.]

Abby and I both got a necklace done with a pendant containing a grain of rice with our names written on. The woman did it when we were there with a very fine pen and a really steady hand.

October 1997 - Rice

I also go Emma a pair of frog earrings. I hope she likes them. Maybe they’ll make her look a bit different to me considering the clothes she wears are getting a bit too similar to mine for my liking.

We ended up getting an earlier train home and got seats together which was better.

I tried to phone Emma this evening to see if I’d missed anything but I couldn’t coz she’d gone to sleep at Zoe’s or summit.


P.S. Man Utd 6 – Southampton 1   YES!

I had a lasagne. It was nice. – 31st October 1997

Friday 31st

October 1997 - Ticket 2

I can’t believe it. They’ve found Louise Woodward guilty of murdering Matthew Eappen. How? I don’t understand it. The two lie detector tests say she was telling the truth and the doctors say something happened to the baby 2 or 3 weeks before he died. So many people are angry about it, especially her family and people who knew her in Cheshire. It’s unbelievable. I hope they sort it out.

Today was ok. Mum took me and Abby to the shops coz Auntie G had to work. On her birthday too! I got a new watch strap coz Abby broke it last night and we went in Harrods and got a cake. Mum booked the BBC tour and we ate our lunch in some park with the pigeons and squirrels.

October 1997 - London

We wandered about for ages until it was time for our tour. It was so boring. It was more radio than TV and they showed us boring films. It’s crap compared to the Granada one.

October 1997 - BBC tour

We met Auntie G and went for an Italian in Covent Garden. I had a lasagne. It was nice.

I’m knackered now after walking round all day.


P.S. I bought a weird keyring in Monsoon.

October 1997 - Receipt

I went really hot and red – 16th October 1997

Thursday 16th


Dougie just phoned me and Dad answered!

I’ll tell you why he phoned.

Once upon a time in Geography this morning, Dougie told me he was going to get Emma back by the prank phone call he had planned and I had to keep it quiet. [Something I usually struggled with.] He told me he was going to pretend to be the Scottish bloke from Key 103 off the radio and say she’d won a competition to go to a Boyzone concert at the Nynex Arena. I kept telling him she wouldn’t fall for it but he said he’d try anyway.

So, at about 8:00 pm, Emma phoned me up and said he’d done it. She said her sister had answered and couldn’t tell who it was so Emma took it off her and said there was someone on the other end doing a really crap Scottish accent! She guessed who it was but didn’t say she knew.

Then he changed and said he was Adam the receptionist who also went by the name John in a really camp voice. Emma said she wasn’t sure if it was him or not.

I don’t know how it ended but she said she gave him my number then said she hadn’t really. I said bye and hung up and went and told Mum that someone had played a prank on Emma but she didn’t know who it was. I don’t know what made me tell Mum that.

[Our phones looked like this. via All Mod Cons]

[I was about to go as red as this telephone which is just like the one I was using in 1997.
via All Mod Cons]

Anyway, about 15 minutes later, the phone rang again. For a split second, I thought it could be Dougie as I have done every time the phone rang this evening. Then I decided it was probably Emma or for Dad so I left it for somebody else to answer.

Mum came in the front room and said, “It’s someone called James for Tess.” If I could have chosen a moment for a plane to crash into our house, it could well have been then!!! [Jesus. Bit extreme just for a phone call from a boy. And one I lurved at that!] I was so embarrassed I went really hot and red and my stomach was doing somersaults as I walked past Mum. [Exactly how you make something totally innocent seem like something well dodge.]

I picked up the phone and yelled, “I’ve got it!” to Dad. The conversation went summit like this:-

(T = me / D = Dougie)

T: Hello (shaking like mad!)
D: Hi, it’s me. Er… I phoned her.
T: I know, she just phoned and told me.
D: She didn’t fall for it except the Adam bit.
T: Oh right. (Laugh)
D: You told her I was going to.
T: I didn’t.
D: She said you did.
T: No. I told her you’d got her number.
D: Oh right. She told me to do it back to you but I didn’t think there was much point seeing as you were in on it.
T: Yeh, I s’pose.
(Long silence) [Awks!]
D: Well… er… see ya.
T: Yeh. Bye.

I put the phone down and prepared myself for the questioning I was bound to get when I went back to Mum. I could hear her asking Abby who James was. I went in and this is how it went:-

(T = me / M = Mum)

M: Who was it? (Very suspiciously.)
T: James Douglas.
M:Is he a friend from school then? (I could tell by what she said that she meant BOYfriend!)
T: Er… no not really. He just sits behind me in Geography. (I suddenly thought how to explain it and said…) It was him who did the prank phone call on Emma. (I was so glad I mentioned that!)
M: Hmmm. I suppose he was feeling guilty then.
T: Yeh probably. He wants me to tell Emma but I’ll tell her tomorrow. (I know I made the last bit up but who cares?!)

I slumped down on the sofa so Mum couldn’t see my face and tried to go back to a normal colour but the more I thought about it, the more I kept smiling. I had to go upstairs and shove my head in my pillow to stop myself from laughing.

Why did he phone me? There was no reason. He could have just told me in school.

That is the 1st time a lad has ever phoned me and it was Dougie. YES!

Not long after, the phone rang again. I panicked for a minute until I was told it was Emma. I told her everything. She said she hadn’t told him to do the prank on me but she had given him my number. She had actually phoned about French homework but that was not talked about for long.

The rest of today has not been so good. (Neither was that actually. Very embarrassing!)

In the Music rooms at lunch, Josie ‘Bitch’ Nichol told Dougie that a girl from orchestra called Amy fancied him. Olivia fancies him too and she asked him which one out of us lot did he like most and he said none. That’s probably true but it put me in a bad mood all afternoon. The phone call has put me on a high now though.

Oh yeh, the other bad thing is that Davis is coming bowling. Damn it! It’s going to be awful now!


P.S. I still can’t believe he phoned!