She’s held a grudge against us ever since – 19th & 20th May 2001

Friday 19th It’s my mum’s 50th birthday on Monday so our family plus Jake and Connor all went to the Yang Sing Chinese restaurant in Manchester this evening.

Before we went, I got upset because I’d just found out Abby and Connor went to a kickboxing weapon training thing today but they hadn’t told me about it. Even if I hadn’t have gone, it would’ve been nice if they’d checked. Then Mum started mithering me to take Mollie for a walk while I was trying to wrap her presents. I just got pissed off and ended up crying all over Jake.

The meal this evening was really nice though. They made up a banquet for us when we got there and we had all sorts of food. We had the usual ribs and rice and stuff but then there were other things like mussels, squid, scallops and ostrich. They ostrich meat was sooo nice! I’ve never tried some of those things before and I was a bit wary at first but then pleasantly surprised when I tried them.

Bye!

Saturday 20th I went to Manchester with Jake today in search of a dress for my college leaving do in June. I didn’t end up getting one though. I really can’t shop properly with him cos I’m aware of him getting bored and then it rubs off on me! All I got was 2 bottles of nail varnish and an O’Neill purse to replace my other one that’s bursting a bit.

On the train, Jake told me that Matt Carrera and Samantha Breck (his mates) want him to go and stay with them at Huddersfield Uni sometime soon. I really don’t want him to go. Initially, I was worried that Samantha will have loads of girly mates and they’ll fancy him cos he’d be someone new to them and good looking.

Then I realised that if he goes now then he’ll know his way round by the time we both go in September. That wouldn’t be much fun with him telling me everything cos he always seems to do stuff first (e.g. snowboarding) that he says we’ll do together. I’d rather discover it all WITH him and don’t want him to spoil that too.

Then there’s the fact that Samantha has a definite bitchy streak and has showed it to me many times and I don’t want her poisoning him against me. She tried to put me off going out with him in the first place, even though she’s his “best friend”. I found out tonight that she even told my sister that it might not be a good idea for him to get into a relationship with me. Grrr!! I didn’t listen to her, obviously!

The reason she doesn’t like me is pathetic anyway. About 4 years ago, on the way back from the Austria ski trip, my best mate at the time (Emma T) ripped Samantha’s magazine accidentally and she’s held a grudge against us ever since. Sad!

Anyway, I understand that he wants to see his friends and stuff, and it’d be really selfish of me to stop him going but I still don’t like the idea.

Bye!

It’s about time someone lamped her one – 18th May 2001

Thursday 18th

I’VE OFFICIALLY LEFT COLLEGE!!!

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Well, for study leave anyway but it means no more lessons! Unfortunately, however, exams take over from next Wednesday onwards. Oh joy.

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Our head of college, Mr H, is also leaving that post and is just going to teach instead so before he arrive this morning, we filled his office with balloons, tied his car up with string and stuck posters of him up round college which Gethin had made by adapting a photo of him on the computer by, for example, giving him hair!

Mr H

We had one last assembly by which time many people were pretty pissed, before all leaving and going to The Coach & Horses.

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[Being pissed in assembly possibly had something to do with the bottle of absinthe we’d got hold of.]

We didn’t stay there long though cos Rob S said he would “do” Sarah if she was up for it and she got scared (I don’t blame her!) so we went to The Beech Tree instead.

I found out from Rachael Hollins today some news which I was quite pleased to hear. Recently, Hayley Pearson’s been being a complete bitch towards her for no particular reason (she’s just like that) and last night Rach was at McDonald’s while Hayley was there. Hayley started yelling at Rach, saying she had no right to be there and stuff cos they’ve got this ‘Medway Crew’ thing (a group of them sit on Medway Road where Carly Jennings lives who Freda fancies – SAD!!) which Rach isn’t involved with.

Rach was taking it from Hayley but Georgia Dean was telling Hayley to shut up. Hayley didn’t so Georgia turned round and punched her!! Nice one! Apparently Hayley unsuccessfully tried to hit her back but ended up running and hiding in the car instead!

Rach, Georgia and Georgia’s dad then went round to Hayley’s to apologise but her mum wouldn’t let Rach in for some reason so who knows what lies Hayley told her parents about what happened cos Rach didn’t do anything. I feel really sorry for Rach actually cos she was making an effort to speak to Hayley today but Hayley shoved her out of the way.I mean, there might well be another side to it all that I haven’t heard but if Hayley’s involved, I very much doubt it. I know exactly how pathetic she can be which is why I am no longer friends with her. It’s about time someone lamped her one actually! Well done, Georgia!! 🙂 Most people from college ended up in The Beech and Jake came to join us too eventually.

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This evening we went into Warrington to continue our celebrations! We started off in Edison’s then moved to Churchill’s and then Tiger Too before ending up in Mr Smith’s.I painted Denny’s face and when I got my mirror out to show him, I noticed it was broken. Oh no! I don’t want any bad luck! Jake didn’t exactly make me feel better by telling me his mum broke a big mirror in France and then each year someone in the family died and then on the 7th year she did.

That’s awful but surely it would’ve happened anyway? I suppose people never know. If a bad thing happens after you break a mirror/walk under a ladder etc., anything bad that happens you relate back to that but if it happened anyway, you wouldn’t think anything about why it happened, I suppose. Well, not as much anyway.

During the time we were in Smith’s I spent more of it sat on the chairs with everyone’s bags and Jake because he won’t even dance. At one point, this girl with longish red hair scraped back into a ponytail with huge loop earrings came and sat down by us. Her mate was dancing next to her.

I thought it was a bit off so I took in what she looked like. She put her drink on the table and started fiddling about with her hands behind her back. I thought she must just have been trying to sort her knickers out by when she stood up, I noticed a rectangular lump on her side.When I looked back at the seat, Emma Thornley’s bag was where the girl had been sat. I checked it and, as suspected, it was open. All that was in it was her phone and camera. I went to get Emma from the dancefloor, just to check if she had her purse with her. She didn’t and came and checked her bag. There was nothing else gone.

Emma wandered off and dragged me with her. She told me to point out the girl and I spotted her at the bar. Emma stupidly (but also drunkenly!) went up to her and actually asked if she’d nicked her purse! However, her mate got all threatening so we both legged it to one of the bouncers.

We told him what had happened and he made me walk in front of him and point the girl out if I saw her. She’d gone from the bar so I told him what she looked like and he saw her going into the toilets. He went in and got her and I ran back to Emma. The woman bouncer searched the girl but didn’t find the purse on her. She must’ve given it to her mate.Unfortunately they couldn’t chuck the ginger bitch out so Emma and I started wetting ourselves that we were going to get battered. The bouncer said that at the 1st sign of trouble to get him and he’d make sure she was thrown out straight away. We weren’t totally convinced that we’d survive the night though so we did what he said and checked the toilets and office for an empty purse before getting Jake and leaving.

The next problem we had was that the ticket for Emma’s coat was in her purse. The bouncer went and got the manager who got the cloakroom lady to find Emma’s coat. Luckily she did.Emma did said that she’d rather her purse had been stolen than her phone because it only had £15 in it and her debit card and she said she’s only got about £2 in her account!

When Jake and I got back to my house, I suddenly discovered that he was really quite pissed! I went upstairs to tell Mum I was home and by the time I went back in the kitchen, he’d managed to spill a glass of water and spread butter EVERYWHERE in an attempt at making toast! When I asked what he’s been doing he just swayed and giggled at me!

Hugo rang Jake at one point but because he was incapable of answering his phone, I ended up speaking to Hugo. I’ve not done that for a while but he was actually quite nice to me! However, I’m sure he took pleasure in telling me that Jake’s brother said he’s glad I’ve left college so he doesn’t have to look at my ugly face anymore. Charming! Twat.

Ha ha!! Hugo said he wants me and Jake to go out one day with him and his girlfriend thing, Katie. I think not! I might be able to cope with talking on the phone but actually seeing him in the flesh again might be a bit too much!

Ahh, during the time Jake spent coating the kitchen in butter and lying flat out on the dining room floor, he told me that I’m beautiful and that he loves me. 🙂 That makes up nicely for his brother’s statement to Hugo.

Bye!

Just face the fact he’s a complete twat! – 16th & 17th May 2001

Wednesday 16th I got hold of Jake eventually this morning when he decided to switch his phone on and we both apologised.

The gorgeous Mr P-K took our Sports Studies group to The Coach and Horses pub for our last lesson with him today. He bought us 2 bags of Quavers and a bag of peanuts between me, Lizzie and Maeve too. That’s got to have been the best lesson ever!!

I saw Jake after college today and we made up properly. 🙂 He kept looking at me and saying I’m pretty and he loves me and stuff!

Jake was telling me how for the last couple of weeks he’s been getting anonymous phone calls and whoever it is hangs up when he answers. That eliminates Hugo then cos he talks to him non-stop! It’s probably some sad little girl (one of the many!) who fancies/stalks him and they’ll have got his number from somewhere.

Jake also told me that he had my mobile number before we got together because he’d been getting weird stalkerish messages and asked Gethin if he had anyone’s number that he hadn’t checked already and mine was one of them! He said if I hadn’t have gone to the party where we met, he’d probably have texted me to let me know he liked me. I would never have believed it though and would’ve thought either he or someone else was just winding me up!

It turned out the messages were from the lad next door to Charlie Wilson (one of his mates) who’d got him to send messages as a joke! Strange!

Bye!

Thursday 17th First thing this morning, Sarah told me that Robbie Taylor knows about her thinking the female orgasm was a myth and about the Bluebell thing (the story behind why Maz got a blue knob and was therefore nicknamed ‘Bluebell’). Apparently he and Declan were taking the piss out of her yesterday and said Jake had told him. So, I texted him and it turns out he did tell his brother that in order to get Robbie to tell him things. He apologised over and over saying he made his bro promise not to say anything to anyone and he didn’t think he would.

Sarah said she wasn’t bothered but she obviously was but didn’t want to cause trouble so I had a bit of a go at Jake on her behalf. I ended up forgiving him pretty quickly though cos he made me feel sorry for him somehow! His brother’s got a definite evil streak in him. He just doesn’t seem to have any consideration for other people’s feelings.

Yey! Sarah also told me today that she’s willing to give Michael Amhurst a chance! I’ve been trying to get them together for ages! He’s always been up for it but she’s either been stubborn about it or unwilling to get over Maz and just face the fact he’s a complete twat!

Bye!

He’s a bit of a bitch – 15th May 2001

Tuesday 15th Declan told me in college today that Robbie was winding Rory up on MSN last night so maybe he provoked the insults aimed at me. He also told me that Robbie was slagging him off too to Rory and everyone and that he does it to everyone. So he’s a bit of a bitch basically then!

Jake came to visit me during my free periods today. I met him outside school and noticed Rory walking in front of me. It made me giggle to myself a bit cos Jake had threatened to thump Rory (Haha!! Yeah, right!) if he saw him and I could see Rory flapping about and apologising. Ryan walked off ahead very quickly and as Jake and I rounded the corner, Clara (Jake’s sister) was at the bus stop. When she spotted us she started pointing at Rory and telling Jake to go after him! Apparently she thought Rory was shady for calling me a dog too!

I feel really upset tonight but I’m not sure why. I think it’s a combination of knowing people (i.e. Rory) have been slagging me off for no apparent reason, my ever looming exams (and the fact I’ve hardly revised for them yet!) and the subject of Jake’s dad apparently not liking me coming up in conversation between us again earlier.

Jake started asking why I’m “running” and hardly ever go to his house so I had to explain that I don’t feel particularly welcome knowing his bro said that his dad doesn’t like me and knowing his bro doesn’t like me for getting him bollocked for saying that! The conversation wasn’t getting anywhere so I eventually hung up cos I was really upset. I felt immediately guilty and tried to ring him back but he seems to have switched his phone off. I’ve left him an apology message on his answer machine and sent an apology text message too.

Part of my spine between my shoulder blades doesn’t feel quite right. It’s not really painful, just sort of uncomfortable.

Bye!

Wearing black balaclavas and pretending to be tadpoles – 28th & 29th April 2001

Saturday 28th I was with Jake all day today. 3 happened this morning but I’m still confused about last night and it was probably the real reason behind me getting upset so easily when my sister went a bit bitchy about going in the shower first.

It’s Sarah’s actual birthday today so me, her, Michael and Jake all went to see Bridget Jones’s Diary (again!) at the Trafford Centre cinema.

I got some messages off Jake when he went home which made me feel a bit better (but I’m still confused) about last night. One said. “ : ) HEY! I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH! I’M SORRY FOR KEEPING YOU AWAKE! I THINK IT WAS MORE THAN WORTH IT THOUGH! : ) I JUST GET FRUSTRATED COS I WANT TO STAY IN YOUR BED. I WOKE UP AT 7AM + COULDN’T GET BACK TO SLEEP COS I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO WALK THROUGH MY DOOR! I LOVE FALLING ASLEEP CUDDLING YOU + WAKING UP NEXT TO YOU! J xJx”.

Bye!

Sunday 29th Jake came to Mum’s school with me, Mum and Abby today to help make a pond in the corner of Mum’s classroom for the children to go underneath and play in wearing black balaclavas and pretending to be tadpoles! It looks really good!

This evening my state of confusion disappeared after the exchange of texts with Jake. 🙂 They weren’t very nice to start with but got better. Here goes:

  1. “Well I enjoyed it! Sorry I won’t bother in future! : ( Let’s face it – there’s not much chance of us having fun with them! x”
    (Last part was referring to Manchester and my mates.)
  2. “I’m so sorry! I just seem to be upsetting you all the time at the moment! : ( I always say something horrible or manage to upset you even more when you need cheering up! I’m a crap boyfriend! + I don’t know how you put up with me! I love you more than anything in the world + I’m so sorry! Please text me when you get credit. x”
    (I did have credit! Ha ha!!)
  3. “You said it continued to be a bad night! How do you think that made me feel? It put me off too!”
  4. “Noooo! : ) I wasn’t disappointed at all! I didn’t know what to do?! Don’t think that! Love you! : ) xJx”
  5. “ : ) I want to be with you now! : ) Anyway, I’m really sorry if I gave you the wrong impression – I certainly wasn’t disappointed! I love you! : ) xJx”

Finally! That’s what I needed to hear! He’s actually pretty considerate! I bet most lads wouldn’t think twice about upsetting me! Ooh, I love him!! 🙂

Bye!

There weren’t enough men – 27th April 2001

Friday 27th A fairly big group of us went with Sarah’s family to a Chinese restaurant in Manchester tonight. It’s for her 18th birthday tomorrow so that was the excuse! The food was very nice! After we’d eaten, we all got let loose in Manchester. We started off in Soft. We knew it was quite good fun from last time so that’s where the serious drinking commenced!

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After that we went to some cocktail bar in the Printworks. That’s when Sarah, Lizzie, Karen and Gethin decided they wanted lads so they split up from us and went to Infinity. Me, Jake, Floyd and Cat weren’t too keen on going cos we knew we’d end up looking after bags and trying to keep everyone else from going home with strangers!

The 4 of us went to Norwegian Blue which was really cool and Jake bought me a big blue cocktail! Most of us liked it in there but Cat said there weren’t enough men and convinced us to leave. That was when the night became crap!

We spent ages wandering round in the cold and rain trying to find somewhere we all wanted to go in but we couldn’t agree. I didn’t like wandering round Manchester at night, I didn’t feel safe so we all ended up back in Soft.

We were all pissed off with the others for leaving us behind and were in no way drunk and so got very bored. Actually, Cat was pissed and started crying cos she wanted Mr L and said Radiant Dan looked like a monkey on the photos we showed her. She then started making me feel guilty for being happy with Jake. She was also crying cos she didn’t want to snog Floyd but felt like she had to cos he bought her a drink! She was talking crap and snogged him anyway!

After sitting in complete boredom for 2 hours or so, we were very glad when the taxi arrived! It dropped me and Jake off at my house first so we were very relieved cos he was a dodgy driver! We sat in the kitchen for a bit and moaned about how crap it’d been before getting ready for bed.

Jake got in my bed and ended up staying there until about 5:30am! We kissed and cuddled a lot and some other stuff happened. I felt slightly under pressure to do things, although I know he wouldn’t force me. He did keep sort of hinting but I didn’t quite have the nerve to go for it! Then he was just about to go to the spare room but I stopped him. I felt like I was in a now or never situation but then he went in the spare room anyway. I’m confused! What did I do wrong?!

He then kept saying he loved me more than usual as if he said it to make me feel better but it didn’t work. Ugh! I’m confused! I wanted to ask what was wrong but felt stupid cos maybe I should know!

Bye!

What does he expect?! – 20th April 2001

Thursday 20th A group of us did The Run tonight. It was all okay until Jake was talking to some of his year in The Woodman and the rest of us waited outside. Cat suggested hiding round the corner for a laugh but Jake didn’t find it very funny. He sat on a bench and when I tried to apologise, he shoved me out of the way. I was actually quite embarrassed cos he did it in front of everyone and I nearly fell over. He didn’t push me hard, I was just a bit pissed!

So, we both ended up sulking and didn’t speak. When we got to The Grey Hen, he just got up and left cos we still hadn’t said anything. I felt guilty then so I got Cat to ring him to find out where he was. He said he was walking home so I spoke to him and told him not to be so stupid and come back. He did and we sat by the old station while everyone else went in The Mossland.

We talked for a bit and apologised about the hiding and pushing thing but I could tell there was something else wrong. Eventually he told me that I care too much about what my friends think and that tonight I seemed more concerned with them than him. He said it’s not the same as before he went.

What does he expect?! I made new set of friends while he was away in the form of College 1s. I explained to him that I’m just trying to keep everyone happy but I’ve obviously not got the right balance between him and friends cos he felt neglected. If I paid more attention to him though, my mates would go all moody on me. I don’t want that either. I thought I was managing okay but he obviously feels my attention for him in lacking somewhat.

I got upset and explained I didn’t do it deliberately (apparently I was doing it before we fell out). He then got upset too cos he’d upset me! That meant we made up though. 🙂 He said he hates falling out but it’s really nice when we make up afterwards! I agree!

Bye!

I hope she wasn’t there. Grrr! – 16th & 17th April 2001

Monday 16th I went to Manchester on the train with Jake today. He got 2 packs of photos back from Canada and we had a minor fall out cos I went all “funny” with him when he got the photos out. I couldn’t help it! He had photos of girls dressed up as cowgirls and stuff which didn’t help but I was just generally feeling left out for some reason.

He got upset in the middle of St Ann’s Square so we ended up making up cos we both felt guilty. He said he’d rather be here with me and that Charlie and Abbi were just nice to him and were the only ones who talked to him about me. I got a wave of jealousy to begin with cos I should’ve been the one talking to him (not about me, obviously!) but now I just want to know what was said!

Jake bought 2 shirts and a pair of short things and I saw the best trainers ever in Shellys! I want them sooo badly but they’re £50. They were so cool! [They weren’t.]

Bye!

Tuesday 17th I went to the Trafford Centre with Jake today to see Bridget Jones’s Diary at the cinema. Sarah and Cat were meant to come too but Sarah let us down at the last minute so Cat didn’t want to come on her own with us. The film was really good but not quite true to the book. I suppose they couldn’t get everything in the film though.

We managed to find Sarah a birthday present too and a card so that was handy cos we probably won’t get another chance to get her anything before next week now.

We got the bus back to the train station near Jake’s BUT the bus didn’t actually stop there cos nobody else was getting off and we didn’t press the buzzer! There were no stops until Warrington after that so we had to get off there. I rang my mum but she made us get the bus home.

Jake got off early to go to The Beech Tree with Ventures. I wasn’t very pleased at that (but I let him) cos I found out from him today that Hannah R fancies/used to fancy him. I hope she wasn’t there. Grrr!

I keep having funny far away/dizzy moments like I did when I was ill again. I had them at the cinema and whilst trying to sleep last night. Weird!

Bye!

What Hugo said was bollocks – 14th & 15th April 2001

Saturday 14th Jake came round today. We got into the subject of his family not liking me and he said it isn’t true and we both got upset over it. He made out that it was my fault anyway for not making an effort to speak to them. How can I when whenever I go to his house, his dad’s at work, his sister’s at the stables and his brother’s shut in his room? Even when I did speak to his dad, Jake always dragged me away or shut his bedroom door for fear of his dad saying something embarrassing to me.

He also told me that bastard Hugo said I come across as being rude and ignorant towards people. That’s just because last time I saw Hugo, I wasn’t exactly being nice to him but it was with good reason seeing as he’d slagged both me and Sarah off just before. Twat!

Jake did say that what Hugo said was bollocks though. Still, all that hasn’t exactly boosted my confidence.

Bye!

Sunday 15th Jake came round to mine again today. I gave him back scratches and stuff and he told me I’m very good at it! He kept called me his little Easter bunny today too! Ha ha ha!!

When Jake went home this evening, I overheard Mum and Dad talking about how I never go to his house and how we spent 8 hours in my room today. I got upset and asked why they said it and explained about Jake’s dad and brother not particularly liking me. They told me not to go O.T.T. and said I’m in a different sort of relationship to Abby and so to stop taking things they say about her on board. They said they understand me not wanting to go to Jake’s house though.

I made up with Mum. She said stuff about being middle aged and got upset. She told me I’m a very caring person really and that Jake’s lovely. She said me and her are both too sensitive and very alike which is why we get upset so easily.

Bye!

NO THANKS! – 11th to 13th April 2001

Wednesday 11th I went in to wake Jake up first thing this morning. I like being able to do that! He kept saying he wanted to be in Barcelona. So do I!

Jake said in a text tonight that my Miffy pyjamas are “sooo sexy”! 🙂 He also said that I go even more cute and cuddly when I’m sleepy!

Bye!

Thursday 12th Michael Amhurst came down today. We both met up at Sarah’s house and had a look at some photos before going to McDonald’s for lunch. Jake met us there cos he stayed over at Hugo’s last night and went to Manchester with him this morning before getting the train to us.

I’m glad I got to see him cos (other than getting hugs and kisses and stuff!), I got to see the Beetle. It’s so shiny! I wish he could still drive it cos it was so good cruising around in it last summer!

Michael had a hospital appointment for something in Manchester so he dropped me and Jake off at my house on the way and then Sarah at her house.

Jake and I spent the rest of the day cuddling. Mmm!

Bye!

Friday 13th Connor, Abby and I all went to Alton Towers in Connor’s car today. We got up really early and were there by 10am. It took us a while to get there cos he kept missing turns and stuff but we got there eventually. We had to go through disinfectant when we got there cos of foot + mouth and we saw signs saying that it was an infected area. It’s horrible.

It was quite quiet at Alton Towers actually, considering it’s the Easter holidays. We went on a load of rides, most of them more than once cos the queues were fairly short. It turned out to be a really good day out actually, other than me getting the usual soaking on the River Rapids!

Jake, Lizzie and I went round to Floyd’s tonight cos everyone else was either on a gay night out in Manchester or being boring and staying in. We bought a bottle of 20/20 stuff [no.5 on this list of things we drank] and played the Truth or Dare game. I didn’t find out much about Jake but he said he was beginning to get suspicious about what I used to get up to for some reason. He did say he’d choose me over S Club Hannah in a cowgirl outfit though!

We were talking about Cat asking Floyd to wank himself off in front of her and Jake said he’d only do that for me! NO THANKS! He also said “wicked” when he thought Cat masturbated for Floyd! He’d heard it wrong!

Bye!