Maybe it’s got something to do with the eclipse – 16th & 17th August 1999

Monday 16th I hate saying goodbye. It was awful when we had to leave this morning. I really struggled not to cry when I said goodbye to Auntie S and my cousins and Grandma L. I also kept thinking about how I wasn’t going to see Duncan for ages. Anything could happen between now and then too.

On the way out of Wick, we saw Dunny in blue overalls on a skateboard but he didn’t see us. I wanted to see Duncan as well but I didn’t get chance.

I really do like Duncan and it was horrible watching Wick get further into the distance knowing he was there and I wasn’t going back for ages.

I’m at the Royal Dunkeld Hotel now. I got a bit upset before but I managed to control myself before anyone saw me. I’m really missing him. I liked having someone to hold hands with, cuddle etc.

This holiday has been one of the best I’ve ever had. The bad thing was those girls but one of them even apologised. Maybe it’s got something to do with the eclipse.

Right, I’ll go and think about Duncan now so…


Tuesday 17th I’m back at home now and it’s so boring. It’s way too quiet not having Tom and Minnie running round and squealing and I really want a cuddle off Duncan.

I keep remembering things like how Duncan said he nearly asked me out on Thursday just before we went home. Rhian and Abby said he looked like he was about to speak to me before we went that night. That must’ve been what he was going to say to me.

Also the ‘Strong’ song by Robbie Williams is going to remind me of Chin now because we met them for a second time on Wednesday night and he kept singing, “Are they real or are they fake? Oprah Winfrey, Ricki Lake” all the time we were there and it took ages before any of us realised he was referring to Rhian’s chest!

Another song that reminds me of that holiday is Bailamos by Enrique Iglesias off the Wild Wild West album because Rhian was constantly playing it.

I’ve been told that Ashley Ewart has done or is doing trials for Ross County because he’s meant to be really good at football. Abby’s quite please about this because I think she likes the image of being a footballer’s wife!

Oh yeah. Another thing I’ve remembered is that on Sunday night, Duncan and I were walking hand in hand down by the river and a car went past blasting out Better Off Alone. [I should’ve taken the song’s hint.] We both sort of commented on how good that tune is but I was thinking it was weird that out of all the songs in the world, it was that one playing as the car drove past us.

We saw Mrs P (an ex-headteacher of our primary school) and her husband at some service station today. She came over to chat and wished me luck with my exam results. It’s too late for luck though really. That’s another reason I why I didn’t want to come home – getting my exam results and going into 6th Form College at school.

I don’t want to do A Levels anymore, I want to do something different and interesting that I enjoy, not sitting behind a desk, stressing about more exams of which the results can affect your whole future. Then again, I really want to do Physiotherapy and I need A Levels for that.

Anyway, I really just don’t want to be home and back to bloody normal. I miss everyone way too much and I didn’t have as long with them as I usually do. Also I miss more people this year. I really want Duncan. I don’t think I can stand waiting until Christmas before I see him again. And everyone else for that matter.


“We’ve been going out for about 24 hours now” – 15th August 1999

Sunday 15th Abby and I were feeling guilty today about spending loads of time with Rhian and not much with Tom and Minnie so when they asked us to play Gladiators with them, we agreed. It was actually quite good fun! We did that Gauntlet game down the hallway using pillows and cushions. When it came to Rhian’s turn to be timed, she began running and didn’t have to battle her way to the end because we all dived out of her way!

Grandma L took us out for high tea at Mackays Hotel this evening. It was quite nice and Auntie S was telling us stories about some play thing that she was acting in which included a commentary of a fake horse race that featured a horse called Hoof Hearted. Tom found that rather amusing!

I was getting a bit paranoid though today about how much people know about me and Duncan. I’m sure my Auntie S knows because it was all her friends at the party and Rhian wasn’t being too subtle when she grinning and stared at me as Duncan’s name cropped up in conversation.

I also panicked a bit when this Murray bloke came out of the staff section of the hotel and started talking to us because he’d been at the party. It’s just that every time someone asks if I enjoyed myself, they look as if they know something.

I spoke to Duncan on the phone at about 11:30 am because Kate phoned to say goodbye because she and Amelia went back to their mum’s in Brighton today. Duncan must have been put on the phone and I was told to come and speak to him so I did. It wasn’t a long conversation, he just asked if I had a hangover and if I remembered. Of course I remembered and I told him that.

He just said how he didn’t want me to go again and that he’d keep in touch and hopefully we’ll see each other at Christmas. We don’t think we’ll see each other until then because he was going to the airport in Inverness with Kate and Amelia and their flight was quite late. He said he might phone later in the evening though.

He did at about 8:00 pm or something. Rhian had been on the phone to Laura and when she hung up, she saw that a number had been waiting to get through so she phoned it and found out it had been Duncan trying to get hold of me. I spoke to him and he wanted to meet up somewhere. I made the excuse that I had to stay in with Tom and Minnie when I was actually going down the town with Abby and Rhian anyway. I did that partly because I thought it might be awkward seeing him again now we’re sober and partly because I didn’t want to say goodbye again.

I went out with the other 2 and we were given until 10:30 pm seeing as it was the last night. At about 9:00 pm I decided I wanted to see Duncan after all because it’ll probably be at least 4 months until I see him again and I might have regretted not spending my last night with him. Abby dialled his number and handed the phone straight to me when it began ringing. Duncan answered so I told him I’d escaped and asked if he could come down and meet us. He actually wanted me to go to up there because there was nobody in but the others couldn’t be bothered so Duncan came to us.

Abby and Rhian had spotted Ashley and Greg kicking a can about by the bank so Duncan and I just followed them round and wound them up a bit when they came out of the chippy by saying we’d just seen Ashley and Greg drive past loads.

Duncan was being quite talkative actually. I thought he’d go all quiet on me again but he didn’t. He was taking the piss out of Rhian’s late night eating habits and the fact she’s a bit unfit because of that. She didn’t seem to care but then she says he’s always winding her up.

As we were walking down by the river, the other 2 were shouting something to us which I couldn’t quite hear. I only realised they were telling us to hold hands when Duncan said, “Shall we just do it to keep them happy?” but Abby just grabbed a hand each and put ours together in the end anyway. We were stood there holding hands on the bridge, waiting for the others to catch us up, and Duncan said, “We’ve been going out for about 24 hours now.” [Milestone.] I thought it was really sweet of him to notice and point it out to be honest because I didn’t really think about it.

He also told me that when I phoned he thought it was because I was going to tell him that I was staying for a few more days. I felt really snidey for getting his hopes up then.

He was telling me that Kate, Amelia and his sisters were all wanting details from him last night. Sounds familiar because I was getting the same off Rhian and Abby. Those 2 were telling me last night that that Diane woman had been asking how the love-match was going and stuff. Also, apparently Frances had been following us round and checking up on us.

It started raining so we ended up sheltering at the bus stop. Duncan was trying to warm my hands up and kept holding them tighter when I loosened my grip. He did the same when Melanie turned up with some other girl and came over. We thought she was going to have another go at us but instead she asked which one she’d been picking on the other day and then apologised to Abby. I suppose that’s something anyway. You wouldn’t get an apology off most people.

After that we made our way home. Duncan walked with us to the passage where we said our goodbye. We kissed once and then hugged for ages then kissed quickly on the lips before I turned to go. He still had hold of my hand so I told him to he had to write and phone and things and he told me he would.

I really didn’t want to leave him. It makes going home even worse than usual. I really do like Duncan and I think he really likes me too. Christmas just seems so far away 😦


He kind of bit my ear – 14th August 1999

[I’ve found this one a struggle to type up. I thought my cringe threshold had vastly risen over the last couple of years but this one makes me want to hide. So I did. In my jumper. It took ages to type up because of all the hiding.

I’ve built it up too much now. You probably won’t even flinch but you weren’t the ones having to relive getting bitten on the ear.]

Saturday 14th I went down the town this afternoon to meet Kate and Laura (Duncan’s sister) because she got back from Florida a day ago. I was walking towards the bridge and Abby said she could see Duncan but I thought she was winding me up. She wasn’t. He was taking Amelia and his youngest sister Carrie shopping I think so he didn’t stay with us.

We wandered around and pretended to watch the majorettes when really we were watching Greg Thompson, Dan T, Ashley, Dan S and all the rest of them. One had shouted Rhian’s name and something else afterwards which she couldn’t make out.

We also saw Dunny briefly and he spotted me and said, “There’s Chips’s bird!” Apparently ‘Chips’ is what they call Duncan but I don’t know why.

The evening was the best. We did end up going to the party for Duncan’s dad’s 40th birthday and it turned out to be such a good night. From the very start I had all the girls on at me to talk to Duncan – Amelia and Carrie being the worst! They kept telling me that Duncan wanted to speak to me so I went out of Laura’s room and got dragged up the corridor to where Duncan was stood in the dark corridor. I asked him if he wanted a word and he said that they’d told him that I wanted to speak to him. I said I didn’t and went back into Laura’s room with the others.

Around 9:00 pm they started telling me that he really did want to speak to me now. I’d had a bit more to drink so I just went to where he was stood in the dark corridor. [It seems he was a bit of a lurker.] I think he’d had quite a bit to drink already too.

It was true, he really did want to speak. He said, “Do you like me?” I told him I did and he said, “Will you go out with me?” I kind of mumbled a load of stuff about going home on Monday and what if there were people between now and Christmas but he said he didn’t care. I ended up saying “okay” to his question and we stood there talking for ages.

He admitted he’d never done this before but I told him it didn’t bother me. We started talking about school, parties, alcohol, how annoying and embarrassing certain members of our family are and loads of other stuff. I think he said his birthday was on the 25th July. There was always somebody walking past to the toilet or trying to listen in to our conversation.

Kate, Laura, Abby and Rhian all decided to go for a walk to do a bit of lad spotting so Duncan and I went along. They ended up grabbing our arms and making us hold hands. Neither of us were complaining so we stayed like that. His hands were sweating a bit and he kept apologising for that. I didn’t really care.

We just followed the girls down and he wasn’t being quiet like I thought he would be which was good really. We waited for them on the bridge for a bit and he put his arm around me. He did keep cuddling me all night which I thought was really sweet.

On the way back, the others went up the road as we crossed the roundabout but Duncan took me down by Mackays Hotel. We went past it and saw a load of men staggering towards us so Duncan took me up this passage through the trees. He stopped about half way up and leaned back against the wall. This dragged me over so I was leaning on his chest because my balance had gone.

We just hugged for a while and he kind of bit my ear I think [?!!] and a few second later we were kissing. Tongues and all. He wasn’t very good actually but I’ll forgive him because he’s never done it before! [Whereas I’d done it once which made me a snogging pro.] We talked a bit, snogged again and then made our way back to his house.

We’d just got through the passage into the garden when Kate and Abby came running out and told us to go back down the street with them. We went and he guided me through the passage because it was dark and full of plants. When we got back down the town we stopped and cuddled on the steps of Boots while the others were talking to some lads. Duncan told me my hair smelled nice. He smelled nice again but I don’t know what of.

On the way back again we saw Dunny. He was asking me who I was and then went and talked to the others. He offered Duncan a fag before we began walking and Duncan took it off him. Earlier on, Duncan told me be drank but he didn’t smoke but then he admitted to me that he did smoke sometimes but he wouldn’t smoke the fag he’d just got because I was there and he didn’t want to pollute my lungs.

When we got back to the house, he kept offering to get me drinks. I got his address and mobile number and he said I could keep the pen. I didn’t. We both really like that ‘Better Off Alone’ tune and I was saying how good it was and he offered me his CD which he’d just bought. I refused because I’d feel guilty if I took it. That was so sweet of him though. Kate told me the other day that he was really generous when he was little. It seems to me like he still is.) That tune’s going to remind me of him now every time I hear it.

We decided to go out for a walk on our own again. He took me back up the passage by Mackays and we snogged again there. He kept saying he was really going to miss me. He offered to walk me home but I refused because we’d have longer together if we waited for a taxi. The taxi was more of a minibus because it was talking Kate, Amelia etc. home too. Duncan is staying at theirs until Monday because all his stuff’s there so he came too.

We sat together pretty silently but holding hands. As we neared Rhian’s road, he started squeezing me hand tighter and tighter before I had to get out. I said bye to Kate and Amelia and gave Duncan a quick kiss on the lips before I got out. I didn’t look as I went to the door. Maybe he was upset because I was a bit.

At one point on our last walk we were both really cold but, even though his teeth were chattering, he still offered me his fleece. He’s so lovely. I didn’t take it because I didn’t want him to freeze.

We thought we saw the girls who threatened us the other night. It wasn’t but I didn’t want to walk down there because I like my face the way it is. He said he liked my face the way it is too! He also asked me when I’d changed into my trousers and said I should have left my skirt on. I came in one but everyone else was dressed down so I changed into the trousers I’d brought for going down the town in.

He kept telling me how nice I was, personality-wise I think he was meaning so I appreciated that. He’s really nice too. He told me he loves my accent as well. I really like his Scottish accent so we’re both happy with that one!

[Here we are, the happy/totally awkward couple.]

[Here we are, the happy/totally awkward couple.]

He kept saying how I should stay and move in with him or something because he really doesn’t want me to go home. We started talking about marriage [Jesus Christ!] but said only maybe in the future. We said it’d be weird because the others would all be related in some way.

We only told the others we were actually going out with each other just before we left because we thought it was funny when they kept telling is to ask each other out when we were already together. We were just winding them up and pretending to go all shy with each other.

When I got home, I was told by Abby that she’d spoken to Ashley and said she loved his trainers because they were so white or something. Rhian was miserable because she found out that Greg’s got a girlfriend. Ashley apparently said Abby was lovely but he was still getting over his last girlfriend but she was still pleased.

That’s another thing Duncan kept saying, that he couldn’t believe all this, me saying “yes” to him and all. I’m really going to miss him now.


I really ♥ Duncan!

Surprisingly, we didn’t get a bollocking – 12th August 1999

Thursday 12th Rhian, Abby and I went to this Achelone Activities place at Halkirk today to do horse riding and quadbiking. The horse riding was just walking and trotting round fields which was quite good but beforehand they were using us as skivvies by making us brush the horses and stuff. I had one called Jack who was quite big and slow but alright.

By lunchtime, Abby and I decided we didn’t want to do the quadbiking because we’d been told the “the boys” were running it and we’ve seen teenage lads hanging about there before. Also, one of the girls who was working in the stables asked if we were doing the quadbiking in the afternoon and when I said we were, she sort of grinned to herself and stood whispering with a few others before they were all grinning. That made me paranoid and, seeing as I never even wanted to go to that place to start with, I decided I definitely didn’t want to stay.

I told Abby and she’d changed her mind too but the only way we managed to persuade Rhian to fake really bad hayfever (she had it a bit anyway) so we could go home was by bribing her by saying we’d buy her as much food as she wanted for the rest of the day.

We found the bloke who was running it and he let us use the phone. He was stood there while I called so, when nobody answered, I pretended I was talking to someone and pretended to arrange to meet them at the end of the road because I wanted to get out of the place seeing as he kept offering to let us have a quick go.

We got 15 quid back off him and started walking towards Wick with the intention to find a phone box. We’d walked about 7 miles in about 2 and a half hours before we sat down and decided we might as well wait for Mum to drive past. Eventually they did and, surprisingly, we didn’t get a bollocking. They actually found it quite amusing when we collapsed in the car and told them the reason behind us walking from Halkirk to Watten!

This evening, Kate phoned. Rhian was speaking and then she called me over and handed me the phone. I thought it’d be Duncan but it was Kate. She was speaking on behalf of Duncan because he went all shy again. She was saying that he was asking if I was going out tonight. I said I wanted to so we arranged for all of us (Ruth too) to wander round because I said it’d be too awkward if it was just me and Duncan.

So, the 3 of us went round to theirs and we all went for a wander. To start with, he wasn’t saying anything and he kept stopping Kate. I think he was asking her what to say to me. Eventually they got me and Duncan walking together up Meadowbank with Kate who was telling us to just talk. He was saying that his mind had just gone blank so he couldn’t think of anything to say and he nodded in agreement with Kate when she said it was just nerves. She dropped back too so we started by just saying how obvious and immature they were being about leaving us alone.

I ended up telling him the Halkirk to Watten story so it did kind of break the ice. He said he might be going quadbiking tomorrow so hopefully that means he’s not going camping.

Later on, Rhian and the others were all stood in a phone box doing wrong number calls to Greg Thompson’s house (he answered) so I stood outside with Duncan to give him the chance to start up a conversation with me. He didn’t really say much.

Rhian then needed the toilet so she dragged me and Duncan back to where he’s staying. On the way back, she dropped back so we were alone again. We just said about how sad it was getting stalking Greg like that [Yeah, I’d never dream of doing such a thing…] and he mentioned Man Utd beating Sheff Wed 4-0. We met up with the others again and he shut up.

We went back home at about 9:30 pm and they walked half way with us. After we’d split up, Rhian and Abby said Duncan looked like he was about to say something but I walked off. I genuinely didn’t notice.

I really like him even more now because he’s quite funny and we’re on the same wavelength about the Greg and Ashley stalking. I hope I see him again before I go home.


I ♥ Duncan even more!!