I’ve got to smile more or I’ll get sacked – 9th & 10th September 2000

Saturday 9th I saw Jake during the day today. He came round here and we stayed in my room for most of the time. The usual happened and it wasn’t a one way thing for once!

Had to go to work tonight but it wasn’t too bad cos it was really busy. Gemma told me that Jake’s very good looking! 🙂 I know!!

Gethin’s pissing me off! He told everyone that he thinks Jake’s gay and that he wears nail varnish. He also keeps telling me that Martin the manager told him to tell me that I’ve got to smile more or I’ll get sacked when the area manager comes in. He also asked Jake last night if the reason he hadn’t said much was because he was “under the thumb”! Bastard!

I reckon I’m gonna get sacked actually cos I told that Sandra woman I can’t work next Saturday (there’s a Huddersfield open day and I’ve been planning on going with Mum and Dad for ages cos they want to see the place) and she was really off with me. She definitely wasn’t pleased!

The thing is, I’ve only been there a couple of weeks and if I quit or get sacked now, I’ll feel like a right failure and I’ll be the only one of my mates without a job. I’m confused and can’t think straight though!

Bye!

Sunday 10th When I finished work today, Jake came to get me cos we planned to go and get a Chinese for our tea. He brought his brother and sister in the car with him and we ended up in a queue at the petrol station at The Dog roundabout for about 30 minutes cos of this whole petrol price thing. I think it was one of the few round here that had any left.

We eventually go to the Chinese, by which time Jake was getting really pissed off cos he thought Robbie and Clara were being embarrassing but I just found them funny. While we were eating, Clara started telling me about Jake making horrible coughing noises when he brushes his teeth and he got really, really pissed off, told me it’s cos he chokes on toothpaste and dragged me upstairs out of their way! We just kissed and stuff but that was about it. He seems to know what he’s doing a bit more now. Perhaps he’s been reading up on it!

Bye!

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I’m beginning to think that boy’s blind! – 17th July 2000

Monday 17th I had a minor text argument with Jake last night! It started off when I mentioned that Abby had Connor round again yesterday evening and that it wasn’t fair, meaning that they’re always together and we haven’t seen each other for ages. To that, Jake said, “I KNOW THIS IS TORTURE BUT IT WILL BE SOOO NICE WHEN WE’RE TOGETHER AGAIN! YEH THEY DO SEEM TO SEE A LOT OF EACH OTHER – BUT SHE HAS FINISHED SCHOOL AND…” and then, “I WOULDN’T FEEL RIGHT SPENDING WHOLE DAYS N NIGHTS AT YOUR HOUSE – IT’S NOT REALLY FAIR! LOVE YOU!!! : ) xJx”.

I agreed and said I’d much rather get of the house anyway and Jake then came out with, “WE ARE MUCH DIFFERENT TO YOUR SIS N CONNOR ANYWAY – FOR A START WE ARE MUCH QUIETER (WELL I AM ANYWAY) AND I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKE THEM OR COMPARED TO THEM!…” and then, “WE ARE WHO WE ARE AND I’M HAPPY ABOUT THAT – I LOVE YOU, NOT YOUR SIS! CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU EITHER! IT WILL BE SOOO GOOD AND WELL WORTH THE WAIT! REALLY LOVE YOU! x”.

That message was the one that began to annoy me cos some of the stuff he said was unprovoked so I asked why he’d said that about loving me and not my sis and I told him I hadn’t compared anyone! I also asked what brought it on and he said, “JUST THE WAY YOU TALK ABOUT THEM! I KNOW YOU DON’T LIKE HIM BEING THERE ALL THE TIME! MEANT THAT WE ARE WELL SUITED!! MAYBE THEY ARE TOO!??” LOVE xJx”.

That message irritated me further so I asked why he was so bothered. He said, “YOU’RE ALWAYS MOANING THAT HE’S ALWAYS AT YOUR HOUSE OR WITH YOUR SIS – IT DOESN’T MATTER! I JUST DON’T LIKE BEING COMPARED – NOT THAT I WAS! I LIKE TO BE…” and, “DIFFERENT THAT’S ALL! IF YOU UNDERSTOOD ME IT WOULD BE BORING WOULDN’T IT!?! I KNOW I COME OUT WITH FUNNY STUFF BUT I WOULDN’T BE ME IF I DIDN’T! : ) LOVE xJx”.

Those messages just made him sound full of himself! I began to get upset after that cos I hadn’t compared him to anyone so I didn’t really understand what I’d said to annoy him. Plus I was angry too and it was late so I was tired. I couldn’t leave it though cos I don’t like going to sleep with an argument going on so I sent him another telling him I didn’t even know what I’d said. He told me, “I CAN’T REMEMBER EITHER – JUST FORGET I SAID IT! : ) JUST YOU SOUND JEALOUS SOMETIMES COS THEY’RE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME AND WE’RE NOT! IN A WAY THAT MEANS WE…” and then, “HAVE A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP – IF WE CAN STILL LOVE EACH OTHER THIS MUCH EVEN WHEN WE’RE HUNDREDS OF MILES APART FOR SO LONG! REALLY HAPPY THAT’S ALL! : ) LOVE xJx”.

I told him that I’m not exactly happy right now and said that maybe I was a bit jealous, especially when Connor and Abby parade around in front of me. Jake said, “AAH! I’M SORRY! : ( YOU’LL BE HAPPY SOON – JUST WISH IT WAS SEPTEMBER – THEN I WOULDN’T BE GOING ANYWHERE! LOVE xJx”.

I felt like sending him another asking what made him think I’d be so happy! Instead I just left it and went to sleep cos I’d got the apology I wanted!

This morning I sent Jake a message when I found out that one of the teachers isn’t going to Valkenburg to tell him there might be a spare seat on the coach. He replied said, “OH GOOD! : ) (NOT THAT SHE’S IN HOSPITAL THOUGH!) I’M SORRY ABOUT WHAT I SAID LAST NIGHT! I’M JUST VERY UPTIGHT AND CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU! LOTS OF LOVE xJx”.

I didn’t send one back all day, partly because I felt like worrying him for upsetting me but also cos I wanted to see if he’d send me a message without me sending one first.

Finally, at 3:54, he said, “HI! ARE YOU UPSET WITH ME? : ( WE’VE JUST ARRIVED IN RADSTADT! HAVING A DRINK AT THE SONNEGG BAR! ARE YOU ALRIGHT? SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT – I HAVEN’T STOPPED…” and then, “THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL DAY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?? LOVE YOU! xxx JAKE xxx”.

After that, I was satisfied he was sorry so I replied. I told him he had upset me a bit but that I was okay now and told him we’ve got a new car (it’s a green Ford Mondeo). He said, “I DON’T KNOW WHY I SAID WHAT I SAID AND I’M REALLY SORRY! WHAT CAR HAVE YOU GOT THEN? IT’S SOOO WEIRD BEING HERE – OHH THE MEMORIES! CAN’T STAY AT THE HOSTEL : ( LOVE xJx”.

I asked what it was that I said that annoyed him and he told me, “IT WAS WHEN YOU SAID THAT IT WASN’T FAIR THAT THEY SEE EACH OTHER SO MUCH! THOUGHT YOU WERE SAYING IT WAS MY FAULT! JUST PUT IT BEHIND US AND LOOK FORWARD TO…” and then, “NEXT WEEK! I WAS JUST HAVING A HORRIBLE DAY AND WAS IN A BAD MOOD, THAT’S ALL – WASN’T YOUR FAULT! : ) LOVE xJx”. I told him I never said it was his fault and then we just decided not to mention it again.

Jake phoned me tonight. He told me about Radstadt and where he’s going next and everything. I had nothing to tell him at all! I then mentioned me being ill and he started asking why I’d been on antibiotics for a long time before I didn’t want to tell him it was for my skin so I said something about a throat infection.

Then he said something about me being ill 3 times in 5 months or something. I think it annoyed me cos he keeps bringing it up and sounding as if he think I’m really weak and sickly or something. So, I started saying, “Haven’t you got to phone Gethin or something?” and he started groaning, saying he’d rather speak to me and stuff.

It wasn’t until I got off the phone that I started thinking. I think I kept getting annoyed with him more than I normally would cos, deep down, I’m blaming him for making me even more miserable by going away. The fact that I’ve had a really crap time since he went away and he’s having a good one adds to the jealousy factor and all. It shouldn’t be like that! I was happy before and I’m just not now. I’m so worried that it won’t go back to how it was again. I can’t even remember all that well what it was like to be with him. This cannot be good!

I’ve just sent Jake another message saying how I really do hope we get back to normal and being happy cos I’ve had a horrible few weeks. He said, “I REALLY MISS OUR FRIDAY NIGHTS TOGETHER! : ( WANT TO GET BACK TO NORMAL! IF MISS M’S NOT GOING THERE’S NO REASON WHY I CAN’T SEE YOU!? YOU SAID YOU’D HAVE TO BE V UNLUCKY!…” and then, “THIS WILL ALL BE OVER SOON! JUST WANNA GET BACK TO WALKING BACK FROM THE DOG ETC… MISS YOU, MISS THE CUDDLES, MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! I CAN’T IMAGINE…” and then, “BEING WITH OR LOVING ANYONE ELSE AS MUCH AS YOU! x”.

Okay, that’s all it took to cheer me up! I hope that was from him alone and he wasn’t surrounded by his mates giggling at him! It was very soppy but so what?! It was lovely to read and I need to read something like that!

Just as I thought that was the last of the messages, I got another 2 saying, “YOU’RE MY PROPER FIRST GIRLFRIEND AND THE FIRST PERSON I’VE EVER LOVED! WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER! YOU’RE A SPECIAL PERSON AND YOU’RE SO IMPORTANT TO ME!…” and then, “I HAVEN’T GOT MUCH ELSE TO LIVE FOR! JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER! CAN’T EXPRESS THAT ENOUGH! YOU KNOW THAT DON’T YOU?! YOU’RE THE BEST THING IN MY LIFE! xJx”.

I sent one back reassuring him that I feel the same and he said, “YEH I THINK I KNOW HOW MUCH I MEAN TO YOU – BUT ONLY YOU CAN KNOW THAT! CAN’T PUT HOW I FEEL INTO WORDS EITHER! YOU ARE SPECIAL TO ME – YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU x”. [I suspect he’d had a few bevvies that evening!]

Erm… no I’m not!! I’m beginning to think that boy’s blind! Maybe he’s forgotten what I look like or something!

Next I got, “YOU MAKE ME SOOO HAPPY TOO! DON’T EVER WANT TO FALL OUT WITH YOU! NEARLY JUST GOT LOCKED IN THE BAR SONNEGG CLUB – AND LEFT MY PHONE! : ( LOVE YOU!!! : ) xJx”.

That ended up being the last one, I think.

Bye!

I’m beginning to get jealous of him now!  – 2nd July 2000

Sunday 2nd July He’s gone! Jake’s out of the country! 😦

I got a text message from him at 6:04 am saying, “HELLO! I’M AT THE AIRPORT NOW! THIS IS THE LAST MSG I SEND THAT I KNOW YOU WILL GET IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF MINS! SPEAK TO YOU SOON! LOVE YOU!!! xxx JAKE xxx”.

I cried quite a bit when I went to bed last night so I was okay when I got that this morning, although I’m still very sad about it. I’ll probably only start really missing him on Friday nights and when he’s not around in college.

I spoke to Hayley and Gethin earlier. I know they’re only trying to help and prove that they’re good mates but some of the stuff they come out with really bugs me! It’s all, “you know we’re there for you” and “if you ever want to talk, you know where I am” and more sickening stuff like that! It actually makes me not want to talk to them cos I’d probably end up smacking them one! Instead, I always find myself talking to Sarah more than anyone cos she doesn’t come out with crap like that.

Jake rang me this evening. He tried my mobile twice but I didn’t hear it so he phoned my house. He was at a youth hostel in Barcelona (which is hot and sunny apparently!) and he said it’s really nice there. He said that Charlie was sulking cos the others had moaned at him for making them trek round all day looking for the cheapest place to eat!

He kept groaning and saying it wasn’t fair cos we’re so far apart so I reminded him that he’s the one who went! He told me that it really hit him that he’s not going to see me for ages when he got off the plane.

Before he went, he said he loved me but I explained that I couldn’t say it back cos my mum was in the next room! It took us a few “byes” before we finally hung up!

I want him back here or, even better, to be with him on holiday! The next place they’re going is to Nice in France but they’re probably going to stay another night in Barcelona. I’m beginning to get jealous of him now!

He said he tried to send me a message but I haven’t got it yet. He said he’ll ring again within the next couple of days.

Bye!

P.S. All I can smell is Jake cos he sprayed so much stuff on my watch strap!

Stupid, soppy, American-high-school-style “group hug” – 30th June & 1st July 2000

Friday 30th to Saturday 1st Friday was really good in the end! I’ve been sort of dreading it all week cos it’s the last Friday I’ll have had with Jake for a few weeks. 🙂

During the day, Jake, Gethin and I went round to Sarah’s cos we had the day off cos of that Warrington Walking Day thing. We didn’t really do much then, as usual. We just sat about chatting and eating. Every so often, Jake or I would groan when we remembered we’re going to be split up for a while and he kept hugging me really hard or squeezing my hand really tightly.

We weren’t at Sarah’s all that long cos Jake had to go and have his hair cut so he dropped Gethin off at home so we could get our stuff to change into for the evening. It was then he told us that this’d be one of our last rides in the Beetle cos it was going to be restored and he was only going to be insured for the Polo. He won’t look right without that car! As Gethin said, it’ll make him too normal!

When we got back to Sarah’s we changed into our going out clothes and Sarah managed to persuade her mum to let the lads stay over so Jake didn’t have to drive on his last night out with us all. So, we ordered a taxi and headed for the Trafford Centre. We planned to try out all the bars there but we agreed that if we got IDed twice, we’d give up!

First we went to Tiggi’s. I was sure my mum’d said it was over 21s only but Sarah convinced us otherwise! It turned out I was right! Jake didn’t even bother trying to get served once he’d seen the sign! You see, he’d had his hair cut and it made him look even younger than usual!

Next we tried Manto’s. We didn’t really like it in there cos it was really boring looking so after the bloke told Jake we all needed ID, we didn’t even try to stay. Instead we went in Starbucks. It was the last time we’ll sit on our table on the balcony there with Jake for 3 or more weeks! While we were sat there, we all agreed to get a taxi to The Dog cos we wanted proper drinks and we know it’s nice and friendly in there!

When we arrived, that’s when we started to enjoy the night quite a bit more. Sarah and Gethin ended up snogging. My suspicions are that Gethin wouldn’t have done that had Lizzie not been going away for a few weeks to Cyprus! I won’t tell Sarah what I think this time though cos she won’t want to hear something like that!

The proper realisation that Jake and I were going to be split up set in properly while we were sat there hugging the hell out of each other! He came to the conclusion that it’s good that we’re going to miss each other so much cos it must mean we really love each other. I think he’s probably right. He also told me, “I love you sooooo much!” which was extremely nice to hear and especially cos it was accompanied by another big hug! I told him how much I’m going to miss him too which is a lot, believe me!

We decided to walk to the Chinese takeaway then cos Jake was hungry. We had to keep stopping and hugging and squeezing each other! I’d explained to him that it wasn’t so much the 3 weeks of being separated that bothered me (although it does a lot and I made sure he knows that) but the fact that it’s triggered off thoughts of how bad it’s going to be when he goes away for 3 months to Canada. This is awful now so what the hell’s it going to be like then?!

He told me that he was meeting the English people he’d be going with sometime soon I think and I must have groaned or something cos he told me that he’d be paranoid too if it was me going to Canada (I found out it’s Banff he’s going to) but he swore that nothing will happen with him and another girl cos it’s me he loves and he doesn’t want to wreck that and he couldn’t love anyone more than me anyway. He actually stopped me and was holding me by the shoulders and looking me straight in the eyes while he was saying it which made me feel like he was being dead serious! I suppose that’s good really!

We got our Chinese food and went and sat on the raised bit coming off the old railway station building by the bridge in my village to eat it. When we were done, Jake and I went and sat round the side on some steps leading up to the track. We just kissed but had to stop when the taxi came. Bad timing!

When we got back to Sarah’s, Gethin made us have a stupid, soppy, American-high-school -style “group hug” and then Jake and I had a quick kiss round the side of Sarah’s house before going in. Sarah made us go to bed so we wouldn’t wake her mum and dad up. Unfortunately, I was on the camp bed in Sarah’s room and Jake and Gethin were in the spare room. We just happened to meet on the landing at one point and had another quick kiss before going to bed.

Once I was all snuggled up in the sleeping bag I’d been given, I got a message on my phone. It was from Jake saying, “I LOVE YOU!!! : ) TONIGHT WAS GREAT! LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS! I’M GONNA MISS YOU SO MUCH I’LL SEE YOU IN EVERYONE I MEET ALONG THE WAY…” and then, “I WON’T BE ABLE TO GET YOUR FACE OUT OF MY MIND! LOVE YOU FOREVER!!! : ) xxx JAKE xxx”.

I told him that I wished Gethin and I could swap beds and told him how much I love him etc. too and told him to stop saying nice things cos I’d only end up crying, and he said, “I WISH YOU COULD TOO! DON’T CRY – ALTHOUGH I’M REALLY TOUCHED – YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME! GLAD IT WASN’T A CRAP NIGHT – I’M GONNA REMEMBER IT FOREVER! LOVE YOU!!! xJx”.

This morning, I woke up to hear Gethin and Jake chatting away like a pair of girls! Sarah and I went in to see them first to see if they wanted anything to drink or whatever. Sarah’s mum went out to the gym so Jake ventured into Sarah’s room and sat on the camp bed with me. Sarah and Gethin went to do some ironing (or so they said!) so we were left alone. Neither of us wanted to let go of each other so there were more tight hugs and squeezing of hands.

He kept stamping his foot or hitting the pillow with his fist and saying it wasn’t fair. He told me that he never expected the Europe trip to actually happen and that it probably wouldn’t have done had Charlie Wilson not have been organising it! He said they were only going so they can say they’ve been.

Mid hug, he said, “Ohhh, baby!” which surprised me cos it’s a very un-Jake thing to say but I didn’t mind, it just made me smile! We were just sat there looking at each other and he sort of grinned and said he was going to end up crying! Then we kissed for a bit when we knew Gethin and Sarah were definitely downstairs and at one point he was lying on top of me and just looked at me, grinned and said, “You’re gorgeous!” That pleased me!

He then just came out with that he still can’t believe we’re actually going out! He’s not the only one who feels like that sometimes! We carried on kissing then someone knocked on the door and it turned out Sarah’s mum was back from the gym so we had to stop cos Sarah and Gethin came and sat in the room with us! All Jake said was, “I don’t believe this!” cos that’s pretty much what happened at Floyd’s that time!

Anyway, we had to go home eventually cos Jake got a message saying he had to go and get some timetables. Luckily I had one nail varnish remover pad in my bag so he could take off the lilac nail varnish I’d put on him in The Dog! He left the nails of his two little fingers as a “reminder” and said he’d still have it on next time I see him. We’ll see!

He also gave me the Pluto toy out of a McDonald’s Happy Meal that had been in his car cos he’ll have the Polo from now on!

This evening, Jake’s dad dropped him off at my house for about an hour and a half so we could say goodbye properly. He sprayed my watch strap with his Ted Baker stuff and I sprayed his with my Boots Poppy body spray cos that’s the smell of each other that they first had when we swapped had worn off. All I can smell is him now every time my watch goes near my nose!

All we did was sit on my bed and kiss and cuddle for one last time. We played the songs that remind us of each other which are Freaky Time by Point Break, Amazed by Lonestar, that If Only by Hanson which cheers us up and he said that Don’t Call Me Baby by Madison Avenue reminds him of me cos I play it a lot and it’s always on when he come to my house or I send him a message!

He kept telling me to stop looking at him like I was doing with my “big, brown eyes” cos it was making him not want to go. He told me that he likes me cos I’m so happy and smiley all the time! He might change his mind about that if he could see how miserable I am now he’s gone!

We’d been dreading his dad arriving to pick him up but eventually he did. Jake and I stood in the middle of my room and hugged and kissed quickly. He then held my head and told me he loves me and that I make him so happy and that I’m the best thing that ever happened to him! I nearly cried by just about managed to control myself!

I went downstairs with him to find my dad and his dad talking about a painting of the Albert Hall on our wall.

CYMERA_20180416_200900.jpg

[Still there.]

The last I saw of Jake was him walking out of my front door, waving and saying, “Bye!” in his bright orange Holland footy shirt, jeans and wide Pod shows with his hair all spiky. I’m not going to be able to forget that image of him!

Bye!

[Judging by the level of detail in the diary entry, I was pretty damn sure Jake would manage to die whilst on holiday and I was never, ever going to see him again.]

I gave him his pine cone – 28th June 2000

Wednesday 28th I brought Jake a shell back from the Biology trip on Monday (like I brought him a pine cone today!) and I’ve just had a message from him saying that he fell asleep holding the shell I gave him last night!

The trip today was worse! We were quadratting in amongst these thistles and stuff and it was really humid. I saw lots of leeches and a newt though! Rachael Hollins and I did most of the work for our group cos Hayley and Sarah seem to be scared of everything!

Mrs C was running halfway across the beach and stuff on Monday just to have a look at dogs but she didn’t do it as much today! Even Mr S was taking the piss!

I saw Jake at college when I got back. We stayed for ages and I gave him his pine cone and he told me how much he’s going to miss me and stuff! Then I noticed that the gates at the end of the drive had been locked and so the Beetle was locked in! We then had to go and find the caretaker to open it but he wasn’t very impressed and told Jake he should park it in the main car park instead!

Kickboxing grading was tonight and it was quite difficult. It was too hot and I was already knackered but I passed! I’m an orange belt now!

Bye!

His chewing gum fell down my top – 12th February 2000

Saturday 12th I had quite a good night last night but the daytime was a bit on the stressful side of things. As soon as I arrived in college in the morning, Sarah ran up to me and said she had some inside information on Jake. She was talking to his mate, Bhakti, and she’d told Sarah that Jake was going out to get me a Valentine’s present. She also asked him what he’d want and he’d said something which was sentimental and not Lynx or something bought just cos I had to get him something.

That seriously panicked me! All I’d got him was a card so Sarah and I decided to go into Warrington there and then. This meant we ended up skiving the whole day. I didn’t feel too great about doing it but there was no other time to buy him a present.

We trekked around the shops for ages before I finally decided on something. I’d already got him a card which says, “I was going to fill this card with kisses…” on the outside and then, “… but I’d rather give them to you personally!” on the inside. I then found some Purple Ronnie heart-shaped chocolates in New Look with a poem on the box saying:

Snogs ‘n’ Kisses
I hope these snogs ‘n’ kisses
Are the best you’ve ever had
They’re to tell you that you’re gorgeous
And I fancy you like mad

The chocolates are the snogs ‘n’ kisses, you see. I also got him a little horny hedgehog. It’s a stuffed red toy hedgehog with horns, a cape and a fork thing. I think it’s dead cute! I just hope he doesn’t get me anything too big or expensive. I also got a little bag to put it all in with that little grey bear with a blue nose on it cutting out a big heart.

At one point in the day, I rang Cat to ask her opinion on what to get him She told me that he’d been sat in the common room at break waiting for me but nobody bothered to tell him. So I sent him a text saying, “HELLO! CAT SAID U WERE LOOKING 4 ME AT BREAK. I’M NOT ACTUALLY IN COLLEGE. SORRY! I’M IN TOWN INSTEAD (BUT SSSHH!). HAVE U GOT BHAKTI’S NUMBER? SARAH NEEDS IT. LUV TESS”.

We wanted Bhakti’s number because we wanted to know if he’d bought me anything but he sent one back saying, “HI TESS, BHAKTI IS HERE WITH ME NOW BUT SHE HASN’T GOT HER PHONE WITH HER SO CAT CAN TALK TO HER ON MY PHONE??? SEE YOU LATER LUV JAKE xxx”. I think he got a bit confused with Cat and Sarah!

When we arrived back at college, Jake was sat in our common room talking to Hayley, Bhakti, Freda and Floyd. Bhakti had told Sarah on the phone earlier that, for a present for me, he was considering something white, fluffy and sentimental with perfume. Should I be worried??!

Hayley told me later that he spent 45 minutes choosing a card for me and even if we hadn’t have been together he was going to send me a card anyway except he didn’t know my address cos he couldn’t find my dad’s initials on the electoral role or something.

I spoke to him myself briefly and he told me he was bringing a mate from Knutsford out with him that night and he’s a bit posh and we had to look after him.

The next time I saw Jake was at 8:30 last night at The Dog. He said he’d been there for about 10 minutes but had seen me, Sarah and Hayley stood at the bus stop so he knew we were on our way. His mate, Hugo Pratt, was okay personality-wise but, in looks, he reminded me of Big Paul (which isn’t really good!) but Sarah took a liking to him and that liking was returned.

Some woman came round selling carnations for £1.50 (rip off!) so Jake bought me one which I thought was really sweet. He was telling me that he and Hugo had been best mates for about 4 years and they met through their dad’s working together. Hugo’s loaded so I didn’t have to pay for a single drink all night!

When Jake went off to the toilet, I asked Hugo why the hell he liked me when he could have anyone, almost. Hugo said that Jake told him I was exactly his type so I was perfect for him. Hayley questioned Jake himself on the same thing when I went to the toilet and he said he thought I was really pretty and I have a good personality. I’m so flattered!

I snogged Jake at the bus stop on our way to The Plough. There were loads of people about, including Abby, but I just didn’t care! I like him sooo much!

Hayley ended up pretty much on her own in The Plough because Sarah and Hugo ended up with their tongues down each other’s throats nearly all night. Jake and I managed to control ourselves (a bit!) and spent ages talking. I found out loads.

  • As well as a brother, he’s got a sister too called Clara in Year 9, who’s mates all fancy him! Damn, competition!!
  • He told me that he used to go out with a girl Lara Beale and that he only had a crush on Emma cos she was the 1st person he’d ever met [snogged] (but I’m not allowed to tell anyone that). He doesn’t like either of them now.
  • He works at The Pheasant pub where he lives.
  • I also asked him about Canada and he told me he’d paid for it all and he’s going in October but only for 5 months and then he’ll come back and do Architecture at Huddersfield University. (Hugo told me that Jake said I probably would wait for him while he’s in Canada.) Jake told me that I’ve got to go over and stay with him for a holiday while he’s in Canada and all I’d have to pay for is a flight. That’d be so cool!

Later on, we got onto the subject of liking each other. I asked him how long he’d actually liked me for and he said that, ages ago at LA Bowl, some of my mates had said I fancied him and stuff and he told me he felt really pleased about it and then disappointed because they later told him they were joking, and it went on from there. The thing is, I did actually like him, I just didn’t admit it.

Around the same time as we talked about that, someone came over and asked what was actually going on between us. I didn’t really know so I asked him and he said, “Well… I really, really like you…” then he paused for a few seconds before saying, “Will you go out with me?” I did hesitate though and said yes straight away. So we’re officially a couple! 🙂

When we had to go home, we were just snogging goodbye and his chewing gum fell down my top. I only found it when I got him so I’ve stuck it under my desk for safe keeping! Disgusting, I know!

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[It’s not there anymore (I checked) but for some reason, I did take a photo of it at the time. Weirdo.]

Danny Barnes gave us a lift home in the end. We didn’t want to leave each other but had to. When I was in bed, I sent him a text saying, “HI! I CAN’T SLEEP NOW COS SARAH WON’T SHUT UP! WE’RE BUSY DISCUSSING U BOTH! HA HA (EVIL LAUGHER)! WHAT WAS HUGO’S SURNAME AGAIN? SHE WANTS TO KNOW. C U SOON. LUV TESS xxx”.

I got a really nice one back saying, “HIS SURNAME IS PRATT + HE WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT SARAH! I REALLY ENJOYED TONIGHT!!! LOVE YOU LOADS JAKE xxx”.

I sent him another one saying, “SARAH’S GONNA HAVE A SERIOUS HANGOVER IN THE MORNING BUT SHE SAYS HE’S WORTH IT! HMMM! SHE’S JUST GOT HIS MSG + SHE’S HAPPY! I ENJOYED IT 2. NIGHT NIGHT! LOVE TESS x”. That was it for the night.

Then this morning, Hugo phoned Sarah. He told her that Jake really liked me and had never felt like this about anyone before! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 I’m so happy!

This evening, I went to LA Bowl with a few of my mates. I saw Spike from 911 again and Robbie Taylor.

I had a message conversation with Jake. I started it by saying, “DID HUGO C SARAH AT THE TRAFFORD CENTRE? SHE WAS DREADING HIM SEEING HER IN WORK! CAT WANTS 2 KNOW IF U’VE ANY MORE MATES THAT SHE CAN HAVE!?! LOVE TESS xxx”.

I then got 2 back. One said, “NO WE DIDN’T SEE SARAH BUT HE’S MENTIONED HER NAME SO MUCH HE’LL BE SAYING IT IN HIS SLEEP! BHAKTI HAS SOMETHING FOR SARAH FOM HIM! DOES SHE REALLY LIKE HIM?????” + the other said, “IF SHE DOESN’T I THINK SHE MAY HAVE A PROBLEM!! HE’S ALREADY TRYING TO WORK OUT WHEN HE’LL SEE HER AGAIN! YES THERE’S PLENTY OF PEOPLE I KNOW IN KNUTSFORD! LOVE JAKE”.

My reply was, “I THINK SHE DOES LIKE HIM… A LOT! SHE WOULDN’T SHUT UP ABOUT HIM LAST NIGHT OR THIS MORNING (I NEED SLEEP!) + SHE’S NOT MENTIONED GETHIN ONCE! R THEY GOING OUT?”

The next message from him said, “I’M TALKING TO HUGO AT THE MOMENT – HE SAYS HE WOULD LIKE US ALL TO GO OUT FOR DINNER TOGETHER, HE IS REALLY EXCITED ABOUT SEEING HER AGAIN!!” I can’t go out for dinner!!! That’d be awful! I hate eating in front of people I fancy.

After I saw Robbie, I thought I’d better explain why I was at bowling so I texted him saying, “I CAN C YOUR BROTHER! I’VE JUST BEEN DRAGGED 2 LA BOWL (HELP!!) BY FLOYD COZ HE’S GUTTED ABOUT SARAH + HUGO + SAYS HE NEEDS TO TALK 2 ME. WHAT SO I SAY??! x”.

I told Floyd about it earlier today and received a text back from him saying, “HI TESS. ONLY JUST SEEN U’RE MESSAGE. HEARTBROKEN COULD NOT COMPARE 2 WHAT I’M FEELING NOW! THANK U 4 TELLING ME B4 EVERYONE ELSE TELLS ME! FLOYD”. Poor lad.

My next Jake message said, “I DON’T WANT TO GET INVOLVED IN ANYTHING LIKE THIS BUT HUGO IS GETTING VERY PROTECTIVE – SAY HI TO ROBBIE. LET ME KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!” I’ve just sent him a reply telling him what Floyd said about being heartbroken. I hope he doesn’t say anything to anyone.

I got an odd text from Jake at 10:00pm which didn’t fit in with anything. It said, “SORRY, I’VE JUST REALISED THAT YOU SENT ME THAT MSG AT 1 O’CLOCK – I’VE BEEN AT WORK FROM 4 TIL 8 + THERE’S NO SIGNAL IN THE PUB! DID U ENJOY SHOPPING? LUV JAKE xxx”. I’m sure I didn’t send him a message at 1:00.

I’ve just had a call off Hugo. He wants to know what Floyd’s been saying or something. I didn’t tell him because Floyd was in the car with me on the way home from bowling. He says he’s got Sarah a horny devil thing and chocolates. She knows what Jake got me but won’t tell me. Grrr! I want to know!

Bye!

P.S. I’ve just remembered another thing that Jake said last night. Hayley mentioned me being Tess Taylor if I married him and he told me that he’d actually thought about that himself!

He’s going to skit me on the ski trip! – 10th February 2000

Thursday 10th I found myself feeling very miserable and disappointed when by 4th lesson today I still hadn’t seen Jake. I knew he was in college because I’d smiled at him briefly and he smiled back when he was in an assembly but that was it.

Then, just as I thought I wasn’t ever going to speak to him, I turned around from the homework I was doing and saw him strolling across the common room towards me, looking drop-dead gorgeous (as ever)!

He sat down and I asked him where he’d been all day. He told me he’d had lessons. We then just sorted out what we’re doing tomorrow night. If it all goes to plan, I’m going to phone his mobile from whichever pub I’m in and he’ll come and meet me there. I hope it all goes right and my mates don’t chicken out of coming and that he brings some of his mates so he won’t feel intimidated by us.

Abby told me tonight that she’d been talking to Robbie Taylor (his brother) in their Geography lesson and he said he thinks Jake fancies me and that he’s going to skit me on the ski trip!

Jacqueline said this morning that Jake is going to Canada in a few months. That’s not long then. This is really selfish but I really don’t want him to go. I like him so much and I intend to tell him that I really like him tomorrow night, just so he knows for definite. Jac and Abby already told Declan Churchill how much I like Jake and he’s mates with Robbie so he can tell him who’ll tell Jake.

I looked on the General Studies group lists and saw that he’s called Jacob Matthew Kenneth Taylor (which I already knew) and that his birthday is the 3rd October. He’s about 11 months older than me. Cool!

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