I might never get married. Who knows?! – 20th April 1998

Monday 20th P. [Period.]

It’s scary how fast time seems to be going at the moment. It hardly seems any time at all since I first started school in Year 7 and now I’m in Year 10 and more than half way through. It seems ages away until my major GCSE exams but everything is going so quickly.

Back at school today. Back to normal. Normal shouldn’t be being at school but term time is the way it is more than anything else and it’s the routine I’ve got used to. I’d rather we had more holidays, even with the boring bits.

That’s one advantage about school – I never seem to get bored. I mean, I don’t like some of the lessons much but I’m always doing something. Then at lunch and break I can catch up on all the gossip or watch Ralph and co playing sad little ball games on the tennis courts.

I suppose if we didn’t have school then I would never have known Ralph or Ferny or most of my other mates existed. I often think things like that.

Also, I think that there is probably somebody wandering round the earth somewhere that I’ve never met that I could end up marrying. But then again, I might die before I get old enough or (on a more cheerful note) I might already know him (actually, that’s a bit more scary than cheerful) or I might never get married. Who knows?!

It’s weird when I think like that. I have no idea what’s going to happen to me in the future and how I will die. That’s a weird one coz you know it’s going to happen but you don’t know when or how.

Okay, I’ve got into all my deep thinking again. Stop it, Tess!

[And I did stop it. Immediately. Here we go, straight back into the shallow end…]

Ferny looked so nice today when he was crossing the road after school. His parents were late picking him and his sis up and she legged it across and left him for a minute. It was cold and he had really pink cheeks and his hair had all blown out of place.

I’ve been told by Emma to stick to Ralph though coz I know him better and have more chance. If only he wasn’t such a minger or prat. Ah, he’s not that bad really. People keep asking if I’m going out with Ralph. It’s really winding me up. It’s embarrassing too coz everyone seems to know that I fancy him. I’ve not told them so who has?

Finally, Dougie’s had his hair cut. It looks so much better than that gelled, greasy-looking mop that it was before! I could almost have fancied him again when we were with him in C Block at lunch but I’m not going to let myself get into that again. I’ll stick to Ralph and Ferny for the time being.

BYE!

P.S. It was funny after lunch. Ralph was just in front of me and Emma and just as he was walking out of B Block, he turned round, looked annoyed and walked back yelling, “Geroff!” to someone. I looked down and noticed that someone had got hold of the elastic on his coat and walked off in the opposite direction with it. He noticed me and Emma laughing at him and went all red and said, “I bet that was you, Thornley.” I felt really sorry for him actually.

I might be dead – 29th November 1997

Saturday 29th I went round to Emma’s this afternoon. We didn’t really do much. Emma sat and read a Sugar magazine and I sat and watched the rugby on TV. It was Wales v the All Blacks (New Zealand). I wanted Wales to win of course but they got absolutely thrashed 7-42. I still think they played well against a team like that though.

Emma thinks Dougie might possibly fancy me. Her reasons are that I’m not too forward like Hayley but then I’m not too quiet like Lucy. She also thinks I’m quite like him in some ways, sort of clever and sensible (not boring though) and I like a good game of footy!

I’d like to be able to agree with her but I don’t wanna get my hopes up coz it’s unlikely anything will happen. If he really did fancy me then surely his mates would have picked up on it by now and would have said summit.

5 Future readers

Whoever’s reading this now is going to think this is all really stupid but right now this is what’s happening in my life. [i.e. Nothing whatsoever.] I know it’s pretty sad but I might as well write it all down so someone can have a good giggle over it. Hey? Even if it’s me in the future. I wonder what will have changed in my life by then. I might be dead.

So, Mum and Dad, if you read any of these diaries, don’t be shocked. [By what?!] Even if you don’t know about all this, it will still have been happening! [Oh, Mum knew.]

Ok, Man Utd are playing Blackburn Rovers tomorrow. If Man U lose this match then they go down to 2nd place. They’re only the 1 point clear. Nail-biting stuff.

BYE!

P.S. I’ve hurt my back somehow.

Gross or what?! – 10th October 1997

Friday 10th At lunch today I saw quite a lot of Dougie. He was outside our form room when I took my bag up and he was looking at me so I smiled at him. He smiled back.

After I came back in school, I went with Freda and Olivia into a practice room in the Music block so Freda could practice the kit. There were a few lads in there already but Mr P cleared them out. Most of our friends ended up in the small room and so did Dougie and Jez Greenhalgh.

Jez said something to Emma about Dougie coming in to shag her. I didn’t really hear why he said it but it made Olivia laugh. Mr P then came in and told us all to get out except Freda but as soon as he went, we all crowded round the doorway.

Dougie kept coming in and seeing what we were doing and at one point Olivia said, “Doesn’t it look a bit suspicious with you in a room full of girls?!” That then caused Freda to say, “Especially with Tess standing in the corner!” I sort of gave her a disgusted look and Dougie smiled sarkily and went out again.

I was standing in the corridor later on with Emma when Dougie walked up to us and stood up really close to me and said, “Are you coming ice skating?” I told him I didn’t know but probably. You see, Hayley, Emma and Freddie Bevan had all decided in Geography that we’re going ice skating in the hols and Dougie and I are going too. It started off as the cinema but it changed for some reason. Dougie said he can’t skate coz he hasn’t been for ages but the other lads (including Jez) go every week.

The bell went and we all went up to our form rooms. Dougie was lined up with a few other people but he was basically on his bill. I was going from the stairs to the form room so I could see what he was doing and if he was watching me. He did once! [Probably only because he was wondering what he feck I was doing going back and forth from the stairs.]

We had P.S.E. last thing which is when I see Dougie most, usually on Fridays. It was our last lesson on careers with Mrs L and she was going round the class asking us all what we wanted to do. I was the only one who said I didn’t know and I don’t really. I quite like the thought of working with animals, you know, as a vet or something.

Well, Dougie said he would like to be a journalist or a writer I never imagined him as that but it quite suits him really. I like it!

Orchestra was good. Every time Mr P mentioned my name, I glanced over at Dougie (who is opposite me at the other side of the room) to see what he did. It made him look up usually. Emma also said she saw him craning his neck around Robert Osborne when he walked between us!

Dougie was doing the bells for a Christmassy song and I looked up at him, smiling coz he looked funny sitting there with bells and he looked up and smiled back. We ended up both laughing and I couldn’t play my flute!

Woah! I know all along that Davis fancied Lizzie. Then today in Maths he sent her a note asking her out! Urgh! Gross or what?! I think I’m the only one who doesn’t think it’s ”kinda sweet”. She hasn’t given him an answer yet.

She went out with Ralph too. She seems to attract pricks! [Er… Without giving away too much, I may or may not do a U-turn on that in a couple of months.]

I’m going now.

♥ BYE! ♥