Singing Welsh hymns as they drank wine – 7th August 2001

Tuesday 7th I had a really good dream last night. It was about Will Fernley (a lad I used to fancy a few years ago) and he really fancied me and I was just about to snog him when I woke up. I have no idea why I dreamt about him cos it’s not like I’ve seen or spoken to him recently.

It was Grandma’s funeral today. 😦 Everyone met at Auntie S’s house and went in a long line of cars to the church. I was meant to go in a car with some lady but I wanted to go with Mum cos I was already upset and the lady had annoyed me by telling me and Abby to do another button up on our cardigans cos she could see the red tops we were both wearing. It wasn’t really obvious or bright or anything. She looked really grim and old in her dress anyway which came all the way up to her neck with a hideous scarf wrapped round it.

When we got to the church, I’d just manged to compose myself and then I saw the coffin surrounded by flowers which upset me again.

The family had to sit in a back room for a bit and we were told where to sit and stuff. When we got in the church, I was sat between Abby and Rhian. There were loads of other people there too which was nice.

The whole service was nice but very upsetting. It doesn’t seem like a year ago since I saw Grandma and she was trying to remember which was me and Abby but the length of our hair and stuff. It was only a year ago when we caught her eating trifle when she thought no-one was looking!

The minister said some funny things in the funeral that Grandma had said which made us laugh e.g. how she called the Laurandy Day Care CentrePara Handy‘.

Half way through, I noticed Auntie S’s friend, Mr M, at the other side of the church wearing the most awful, unrealistic wig I’ve ever seen! So, every time I thought I was going to cry, I just looked at him!

There’s a poem in the funeral service card called ‘I Remember, I Remember’ which Grandma liked but couldn’t remember so my Great Uncle Arthur found it for the funeral.

As she was carried out of the church, they played a tune which Mum later told me was a lullaby [I think it was Suo Gân] that Grandma had once suggested singing to me when I was a baby to get me off to sleep. Apparently it worked!

The family and a few others then followed the hearse through Wick to the cemetery. There were a couple of ambulances there when we arrived so we thought something must’ve happened but we soon found out they were there for the burial because Grandma used to be a nurse. That was really nice of them, I think.

Grandma is buried with Granddad and my baby cousin Iain who was stillborn. My cousin Jessica pointed out that if we ever want to find the grave then there are 3 graves on the same row with foreign writing on them.

After the burial, everyone went back to Mackay’s Hotel. I sat on a table with our cousins Ifan, Jessica and Rhian, and Abby. I was talking to Ifan and he said he’d heard I’m “nearly married to an architect”. He’s at uni doing architecture now so someone must’ve told him. He’s going to study at Brighton in September to finish his course. He said me, Rhian and Abby can go and visit him.

This evening, everyone gathered at Auntie S’s. The Welsh people are cool. The one’s who didn’t go home early and stayed for a bit are my dad’s cousins, including his favourite cousin Beti. They’re funny! They spent most of the night singing Welsh hymns as they drank wine….. lots of it!

I met Rhian’s boyfriend Marc. He seems nice but then he didn’t say much really. The family across the road then lit a huge candle and said it was for Grandma.

Bye!

P.S. We found a good quote in Grandma’s autograph book. It said, “Tis better to be small and shine than great and cast a shadow”. I’m going to tell Sarah that one due her being slightly vertically challenged!

I’ll never pass my driving test – 6th August 2001

Monday 6th Dad got me and Abby insured on the car today so I was allowed to drive it round the quiet roads near the lighthouse. It’s so good!

We went to Auntie S’s again today and then into the town to get stuff to eat etc. I bought the OPM album Menace to Sobriety while I was there.

[God, I’d forgotten about this.]

When we got back I got really upset after having an argument with Abby. She was saying I’ll never pass my driving test and stuff but I got more upset than usual cos I was feeling a bit weak anyway cos of the funeral tomorrow. I’m really worrying about it and what it’s going to be like.

I got upset again later on because Abby and I had to write a card to put with our flowers for tomorrow. In the end, we just put something simple like, “Grandma, With all our love, Tessa and Abby xxx”.

As I drove back to the lighthouse tonight I had little birds flying along in front of the car all the way in the headlights. It was really weird but cute.

Bye!