Some grotesque teenage beast of a boy – 6th & 7th August 1999

Friday 6th Rhian, Abby and I went swimming today. The main reason behind it was not to swim but to see Ben McFarlane. We did but only briefly. He wasn’t actually doing his pool attending like we’d hoped but he was in the shop part.

I saw Rhian’s friend Laura Morgan’s brother, Duncan, today. The rest of his family are in Florida but he’s stayed here with his auntie who’s having a barbeque tomorrow to which we’re invited. Duncan was working in his parent’s café today and Rhian was ordered by Auntie S to introduce us to him, seeing as he’ll be at this barbeque as well, but she didn’t.

Instead, Rhian got food and I got a good look at Duncan. I’ve never seen him before but Abby saw him at Christmas and Rhian sees him all the time and they both told me he was minging. So, I went in there expecting him to be some grotesque teenage beast of a boy but in fact I was pleasantly surprised! I mean, he’s not drop-dead-gorgeous but he’s not half as bad as I expected. Abby did actually say he’d improved though.

We went for another walk around the town tonight and saw Greg Thompson again. This time he was stood on a street corner with 3 other lads. I gave Hayley a ring from the phonebox (I’m not missing anything apparently) and these 3 lads (different ones) started whistling and waving. Then they came over and went in the phonebox next to us but they were only pretending to use the phone. Unfortunately, none of them were nice looking!

We were also getting attention off some builders working on Woolies, one of which was quite young and quite nice but they were up high on scaffolding. At one point the nice one came down and we thought he was following us but he turned down some other street.

I got the full registration plate of Ben’s car. It’s OLL 3415. [Jesus.]

Greg’s car, well, the one he was in last night is K24 JPT. Rhian left a message on the back of a sweet wrapper in the windscreen wipers saying:

I ♥ G. Thompson 4 ever. ♥ me! xxx

She wrote another tonight saying:

Greg Thompson is a BABE! ♥ from me! xxx
P.S. If you wanna know who “me” is, keep watchin’ those wipers!

She says she’ll stick it on the car tomorrow.

She is now in the process of writing a wind-up letter to James Douglas (for me to give to him when I get home) which implies she rather fancies him. In fact she does because she’s seen his photo but this letter isn’t exactly a serious one.


Saturday 7th Rhian, Abby and I went to Thurso this afternoon but it was more boring that Wick so we came back again.

Greg Thompson was stood on his usual corner so we had to walk past him about 5 times for Rhian’s benefit. I made sure we walked past the café too so I could catch a quick glimpse of Duncan. I saw him but I don’t think he saw me.

I went to the barbeque tonight. It was quite good because there were quite a few young people there. As well as me, Rhian, Abby, Tom and Minnie, there was Duncan and his soon-to-be step-cousins Kate and Amelia.

Amelia’s only 11 but Kate’s 14 I think so we four older girls went for a walk in the dark and saw the K24 JPT car drive past loads with Greg in the back yelling things like, “You’re looking cracking tonight, girls!” Kate’s got a boyfriend back in Brighton but she says she’ll come with us to stalk Greg and co. another day.

As for Duncan, well, to start with he was being a bit quiet but as the evening went on he made me hold Tom still while he squirted him with a water pistol then threatened to get me with it. Later on, he began to sit with us in the kitchen and stuff and spoke a bit more and laughed at us when we were doing Steps ‘5, 6, 7, 8’ in the talent show until he fell asleep. [The bottle of Whyte & Mackay he had in his possession might have had something to do with all of that.]


Nothing really interesting happened but we caught each other’s eye the odd time and he usually came in the room I was in. I don’t really think he’s interested in me. Same old story!

He fell asleep again later so I was given his fleece by someone when we went outside again. It smelled nice.

Anyway, I’m going to bed.


They drove past us about 15 times – 4th & 5th August 1999

Wednesday 4th I’m in a Travelodge thing just outside Stirling for the night. We’ve completed the first leg of our journey up to Wick. I’ve not actually got a lot to write down because not a lot has actually happened.

The room here is quite nice and fairly big and Abby and I have a good view of the car park where there are quite a few lads. Earlier, there was a coach load coming back from a Rangers match, we think, and there was another nice one who seems to be staying here. He gave me a second glance when I was at the window but probably only because I was in my nightie with a towel on my head!

We stopped at Westmorland for lunch and there was another Scottie dog there. We were quite a distance away but we could easily tell what breed it was.

We went into Stirling for some tea and to give Mollie a walk. We only ended up in McDonald’s though where I discovered a member of staff who didn’t fit the stereotype. He was nice looking, not greasy and not spotty. I think he was called Graham.

There was a right saddo tourist in there too who was whipping out his video camera and filming the inside of the McDonald’s. One question… Why??!

Dad decided to stick Union Jack flags (left over from the Prom concert at school) up at the windows in the car. His excuse was so that people would think Grandma L was the Queen Mum! Yeah right!!


Thursday 5th I’m in Wick now. Yeah!!! It seemed to take ages to get here even though I did sleep a bit before we stopped for lunch. We stopped at the Tomatin Little Chef where there were nice lads working there [God, I was fully on the holiday prowl for boys, wasn’t I?!] with not-so-nice names such as Jeff and Donald. The girl who served us wasn’t much better, being Martha!

We arrived here at Auntie S’s house and were greeted by Auntie S, Rhian, Tom and Minnie. Oh, and Mollie was reunited with Penguin the spaniel (black and white) from across the road where the McLean family used to live. I think they’re in love. Mollie wouldn’t even leave him when we shouted “walkies” at her. There won’t be any puppies though because he’s been ‘done’!

Abby, Rhian and I went for a walk around the town earlier in search of people [boys]. We saw Rhian’s latest obsession, Greg Thompson, in the back of a red Ford Fiesta with 2 of his mates. They drove past us about 15 times and did wave sometimes. They were all okay looking. Apparently Greg lives a few doors down from Rhian’s old house and she used to play with him when she was little. His address is 19 Meadowbank Road, Wick and his phone number is 01955 ******.

Abby found some lad in a tartan Oasis-style hat who she quite likes and I saw Ben McFarlane. He’s lovely. I think he’s 17 and he’s driving now but only his mum’s car which is white with OLL and then 4 numbers for the registration plate. First time I saw him this year (which was today), he was driving up Scalesburn and he kind of grinned and shrugged at Rhian. I don’t know why. I then ran up Port Dunbar so I could see him again coming down Sandigo Drive and it worked. He just smiled. He probably saw me jumping about and grinning a lot in the mirror though. Not good!


If it’s good enough for Brandy, it must be good enough for me! – 1st June 1999

Tuesday 1st I’m back from London now. I didn’t take this with me for fear of somebody finding it and reading it, if they haven’t done already! So, I’ll fill you in on the last couple of days.

We only went down on Sunday (not much can have happened on Fri and Sat coz I’ve not written in) but it didn’t take too long to get there. We took Mollie [the dog] for a walk along the canal when we arrived at Auntie G’s in Hanwell and we saw some canal boats in the locks. I’ve never actually seen it done before. Mollie was walking right along the edge of the canal, I think just to scare us!

We went to Covent Garden on Sunday evening for a meal at a place called Belgo which is a weird Belgian restaurant where there are unisex loos and the waiters are dressed like monks. Mum, Dad and Auntie G had a big pot full of mussels which I didn’t want (so I had chicken) but I tried one and it was actually quite nice once I’d blanked the image of it out of my mind!

I didn’t get a lot of sleep on Sunday night coz Dad was snoring really loudly and my eye was throbbing from when a mobile phone dropped on my face from the table above me while I was settling down on a pile of cushions on the floor. I improvised and tied a pillow round my head with a belt from a dressing gown to block out the noise!

Yesterday was the big day for Watford v Bolton. I, of course, was siding with Bolton. Mum and Auntie G dropped me, Dad and Abby near Wembley Stadium and we had to walk there amongst a lot of Watford fans. It was brilliant inside the stadium! I managed to join in with all the songs but I kept quiet and seated when everyone else was singing, “Stand up if you hate Man U!” Bolton chants aren’t half as inventive as Man Utd ones. Songs in the Premiership have verses whereas you’re lucky to get 5 words in any other division. [This is untrue. I was just bitter about the Man U song.]

It was great even if we lost 2-0 and I am a Utd fan but I’ve been wearing my Bolton shirt with pride for the last day or so. I like it. It’s too big and very yellow but I like it!

[HOARDER ALERT: Here is the shirt, still too big and still very yellow.]

We went to Monty’s, an Indian restaurant, last night. It was good but very filling. I had quite a good night’s sleep last night so I’m not too tired today. We travelled back from London this morning, Bolton flags and all with Mollie hanging out of the window down the motorway. Dad said she’s probably pretending that she’s running really fast!!

I found this article in the Express newspaper.


It makes me feel better as though I’m not quite so sad now! With this thing with Adam (although I very much doubt if I’ll ever meet him never mind marry the lad!), I’ve not wanted to tell my mates I met him in the internet but if it’s good enough for Brandy, it must be good enough for me!

We kept seeing signs while we were travelling for Stoke-on-Trent and Alton Towers and I just wanted to turn off and visit Adam but then I remembered he’s visiting his brother in Lancaster.

Well, not much has really happened today. This evening I went on the net to revise and I had a mail from Adam. It was very short and all it really said was, “Where’ve you been?” He sent it on Sunday and he’d answered none of my questions from the mail I’d sent him so he might be at his bro’s although it was his mail address and everything. He should know I was in London coz I told him about 5 times! He wanted me to meet him online last night but I wasn’t here which I did put in the mail I sent him. Never mind!

I was talking to this lad called Paul who’s at Lancaster University (screenname: PLD444) who my sister’s been talking to for a while. She’s not very pleased that I was getting on with him. He’s 19 and he’s coming home tomorrow. I think he lives nearer Warrington but I know he went to our high school and college. He was with Pete Brody’s brother tonight apparently who’s going out with Ceri Brownlee, the sister of Aled. Pete Brody is in his 1st year now at 6th Form College and a lot of my mates think he’s fit. Internet Paul mentioned Aled Brownlee and Pallav C and wanted to know if I know them. I do. He’ll know Aled through his mate and Pallav through Pete B coz Pete B gets to school with Pallav. Understand?!

Anyway, this internet Paul wants to meet me in the next village. I dunno what he looks like or anything so I probably won’t. If he says he’ll be around anyway, I might just go to Hayley’s and have a wander round the village coz she knows what Pete B’s bro looks like and he’ll probably be with him.

I had a wander with Hayley tonight and we went up Welford Road. Chris Lewis and a mate (either Riley Howarth, Keith Cox or Jav R all in my sis’s year) was with him and they were hiding in a bush watching us walk past. We saw Riley in his house (no. 10) after. He’s gorgeous so I hope it was him with Chris!

This is my proof that I went to Wembley:


[I’m not sure why it says Ipswich Town on it. It was definitely Watford.]


5 tubs of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter – 29th & 30th March 1999

Monday 29th P. [Period]

I’ve only been on holiday 3 days and I’m already bored out of my mind. That’s not good coz when I get bored I usually start thinking and when I start thinking I usually find something to worry about. [Still true.]

Today it was, “Am I the only one (other than Hayley) not having fun?”

The answer is probably not but I feel as though everyone else is out partying or at least with their mates. The only thing I’ve got coming up is a date at the opticians. Ooh, fun!


Tuesday 30th My mum, Abby and I went to see my Grandma S today. We took her to Hollingworth Lake for her lunch at some chippy called Mr Thomas’s. It was quite nice and would have been better if I wasn’t feeling travel sick.

Grandma keeps giving us all money. She gave us £10 each today for no reason. I don’t know where it’s all coming from coz she keeps pulling big wads of cash out from her bag, drawers, cupboards – everywhere! Well, I’m not complaining!

We went round Rochdale with her because, even though she’s got money, she still insists on searching for bargains in the markets. We then went back to her house for tea only to discover she had 5 tubs of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in her fridge (one of which had a use by date during 1996) along with a mouldy onion.

She was also telling us about how she was going shopping with her friend (Marjorie I think it was) but another lady (Jean, I think) who my Grandma doesn’t like has invited herself along so she’s not going to answer the phone or she’s going to say she’s ill if Jean comes coz she doesn’t want her to go with them. You’d have expected people of my age (e.g. Lindsey, Lena etc.) to do that but you would have thought by the age of 70-odd, people would’ve grown out of it!!!

Aah, she makes me laugh, Grandma.


I think he’s in lurve – 25th-28th December 1998

[Merry Christmas 1998, everyone!]

Friday 25th Yeah, Christmas Day. I didn’t sleep until about 2:00am and I got woken up pretty early by Tom jumping on me. I got lots of pressies but that was over too soon.

[I look full of Christmas cheer.]

[I look full of Christmas cheer.]

All the family  have been here at some point. Most have gone now and there’s only Uncle J and my big cousin Ifan that are left. I don’t think they’ll be going very far either coz they’re totally pissed. Ifan keeps staggering into doors and stuff and he’s been on the phone to his girlfriend about 3 times. I think he’s in lurve and everyone keeps teasing him.

Then we locked him outside. It was funny. He went for a fag and Rhian, Abby and I locked the door. We let him in eventually but couldn’t stop giggling coz we’d had a bit too much to drink by then.

He kept eating chocolate mousses. He then phoned his girlfriend back – again!


Saturday 26th Ifan and Uncle J have gone. I dunno when I’m going to see Ifan again coz he’s travelling round the world on his year out of university where he’s wanting to be an architect.

We’ve got to go home tomorrow so I’d better pack.


Sunday 27th I’m back in Dunkeld. I don’t really want to be. I’d rather be back in Wick. This week’s gone so fast and going home means getting back into the normal routine and I’m going to have to do revision and homework.

I’m really missing my cousins and Grandma L. I hate saying goodbye to them coz I don’t know how long it’ll be until I see them next.

I’ve also go the New Year’s Eve decision to make at some point coz I’m still not sure.


Monday 28th I’m at home now. I’ve spoken to Emma and Hayley and they said I haven’t missed much. The only think I am missing are my people in Wick but there’s not much I can do about it now, is there?


He was a haddock! – 25th-28th December 1997

Thursday 25th

December 1997 - Xmas Day

Hello and Merry Christmas! I woke up at 8:00 this morning and I had to wake up Rhian and Abby too so we all sneaked downstairs. Everybody was already up anyway and turkey was already int oven. All the presents were opened but it all went too quickly. I got choccies, clothes, a lizard (toy of course!) and other stuff. We played games and stuff all day then.

Sorry this hasn’t been a long entry but it’s late now.


Sunday 28th I’m back at home now.

Boxing Day we all just mooched around the house watching TV and trying out presents. There was this one game of Rhian’s called ‘Articulate!’ which was good. You had to get into teams and, as you moved around the board, each team took turns in describing a word which 1 person had to do to their own team. You could use actions, words or both as long as you didn’t say the word.

Tom was mithering us to let him have a go so after the game we gave him the pack of cards and let him choose one to do to the whole family. There was one where he was walking up and down being some sort of fish so we were all guessing things like shark, whale and goldfish. When we eventually gave up he told us he was a haddock! My mum was in fits of laughter and so was everyone else. You had to be there really. He’s only 7 and it was so cute! Later on he had a cod, a flying fish and a catfish. You can probably imagine what they were like. [Exactly the same as haddock.]

Yesterday was awful, you know, saying goodbye and all. I hate that part. Before we got onto the A9 out of Wick, Abby wanted to get some dolls changed in this shop. It was shut so we decided to go back and give them to Rhian so she could sort it and send ‘em down. You should have seen Tom’s face when the car came back up the road. Complete shock!

We stayed at the Royal Dunkeld Hotel again last night coz it was good on the way up.

I’m home now. As soon as I got in, I phoned Emma to see if I’d missed anything. She said she’d kissed Charlie Wilson, Dougie [NONONONONO!!!!] and Gethin Turner under the mistletoe on Friday and she’d been bowling with Zoe and Poppy.

Then she said that we could go ice skating tomorrow with Ralph, Dougie and Freddie if he’s back. She was meant to phone me about it at 9:00pm and its 11:10pm now so I’m off to bed in a minute.

[Look away now if you can’t cope with sick.]

On the way home, the dog puked in the car and it was all yellow and watery (which was cheese, water and a yellow doggy chew according to Dad!) and she stood in it all then walked all over my lap. YUK!

Also, it was funny when Abby was proving to me that she could touch her nose with her tongue and this Jeep with a couple of lads in the back overtook us and I turned round and saw ‘em all laughing at her! I couldn’t stop then either.


P.S. I’m really missing everyone in Wick. A week there’s not long enough.

Maybe they’ll make her look a bit different – 1st November 1997

Saturday 1st I’m back home now. I think another day of walking round shops could have been even more boring so I’m not too bothered.

We walked round Camden Market all morning and some of the afternoon. It was good coz it was all unusual little crafty stalls and a bit different but after an hour I got fed up and felt sick after the huge chocolate doughnut I’d eaten.

We did buy a few things. Mum got a handmade paper book and a cool mobile with little people on it all made out of banana leaves which the man said came from Tanzania.

November 1997 - Mobile

[We’re a family of hoarders.]

Abby and I both got a necklace done with a pendant containing a grain of rice with our names written on. The woman did it when we were there with a very fine pen and a really steady hand.

October 1997 - Rice

I also go Emma a pair of frog earrings. I hope she likes them. Maybe they’ll make her look a bit different to me considering the clothes she wears are getting a bit too similar to mine for my liking.

We ended up getting an earlier train home and got seats together which was better.

I tried to phone Emma this evening to see if I’d missed anything but I couldn’t coz she’d gone to sleep at Zoe’s or summit.


P.S. Man Utd 6 – Southampton 1   YES!

I had a lasagne. It was nice. – 31st October 1997

Friday 31st

October 1997 - Ticket 2

I can’t believe it. They’ve found Louise Woodward guilty of murdering Matthew Eappen. How? I don’t understand it. The two lie detector tests say she was telling the truth and the doctors say something happened to the baby 2 or 3 weeks before he died. So many people are angry about it, especially her family and people who knew her in Cheshire. It’s unbelievable. I hope they sort it out.

Today was ok. Mum took me and Abby to the shops coz Auntie G had to work. On her birthday too! I got a new watch strap coz Abby broke it last night and we went in Harrods and got a cake. Mum booked the BBC tour and we ate our lunch in some park with the pigeons and squirrels.

October 1997 - London

We wandered about for ages until it was time for our tour. It was so boring. It was more radio than TV and they showed us boring films. It’s crap compared to the Granada one.

October 1997 - BBC tour

We met Auntie G and went for an Italian in Covent Garden. I had a lasagne. It was nice.

I’m knackered now after walking round all day.


P.S. I bought a weird keyring in Monsoon.

October 1997 - Receipt

There was no point in asking Davis. Phew! – 30th October 1997

Thursday 30th

October 1997 - Ticket 1
Boring this morning just waiting to leave for London. Freda phoned too asking if I wanted to go to The Cliff. [Manchester United’s training ground at the time.] I said I couldn’t coz I had to catch a train so she said she’d try and get some autographs from the players for me.

Emma phoned too to say that Lizzie couldn’t come skating so there was no point in asking Davis. Phew! We still don’t know if Dougie’s going to be away or not. So far it’s just Emma, me, Freddie and Ralph.

I spent most of this afternoon watching the Louise Woodward trail on Sky TV. I don’t think she killed the baby. Most of the evidence proves that. The jury still haven’t reached a verdict.

Dad took us to the station and we arrived in London at about 6:00 pm. I want to go to bed now so…


I went really hot and red – 16th October 1997

Thursday 16th


Dougie just phoned me and Dad answered!

I’ll tell you why he phoned.

Once upon a time in Geography this morning, Dougie told me he was going to get Emma back by the prank phone call he had planned and I had to keep it quiet. [Something I usually struggled with.] He told me he was going to pretend to be the Scottish bloke from Key 103 off the radio and say she’d won a competition to go to a Boyzone concert at the Nynex Arena. I kept telling him she wouldn’t fall for it but he said he’d try anyway.

So, at about 8:00 pm, Emma phoned me up and said he’d done it. She said her sister had answered and couldn’t tell who it was so Emma took it off her and said there was someone on the other end doing a really crap Scottish accent! She guessed who it was but didn’t say she knew.

Then he changed and said he was Adam the receptionist who also went by the name John in a really camp voice. Emma said she wasn’t sure if it was him or not.

I don’t know how it ended but she said she gave him my number then said she hadn’t really. I said bye and hung up and went and told Mum that someone had played a prank on Emma but she didn’t know who it was. I don’t know what made me tell Mum that.

[Our phones looked like this. via All Mod Cons]

[I was about to go as red as this telephone which is just like the one I was using in 1997.
via All Mod Cons]

Anyway, about 15 minutes later, the phone rang again. For a split second, I thought it could be Dougie as I have done every time the phone rang this evening. Then I decided it was probably Emma or for Dad so I left it for somebody else to answer.

Mum came in the front room and said, “It’s someone called James for Tess.” If I could have chosen a moment for a plane to crash into our house, it could well have been then!!! [Jesus. Bit extreme just for a phone call from a boy. And one I lurved at that!] I was so embarrassed I went really hot and red and my stomach was doing somersaults as I walked past Mum. [Exactly how you make something totally innocent seem like something well dodge.]

I picked up the phone and yelled, “I’ve got it!” to Dad. The conversation went summit like this:-

(T = me / D = Dougie)

T: Hello (shaking like mad!)
D: Hi, it’s me. Er… I phoned her.
T: I know, she just phoned and told me.
D: She didn’t fall for it except the Adam bit.
T: Oh right. (Laugh)
D: You told her I was going to.
T: I didn’t.
D: She said you did.
T: No. I told her you’d got her number.
D: Oh right. She told me to do it back to you but I didn’t think there was much point seeing as you were in on it.
T: Yeh, I s’pose.
(Long silence) [Awks!]
D: Well… er… see ya.
T: Yeh. Bye.

I put the phone down and prepared myself for the questioning I was bound to get when I went back to Mum. I could hear her asking Abby who James was. I went in and this is how it went:-

(T = me / M = Mum)

M: Who was it? (Very suspiciously.)
T: James Douglas.
M:Is he a friend from school then? (I could tell by what she said that she meant BOYfriend!)
T: Er… no not really. He just sits behind me in Geography. (I suddenly thought how to explain it and said…) It was him who did the prank phone call on Emma. (I was so glad I mentioned that!)
M: Hmmm. I suppose he was feeling guilty then.
T: Yeh probably. He wants me to tell Emma but I’ll tell her tomorrow. (I know I made the last bit up but who cares?!)

I slumped down on the sofa so Mum couldn’t see my face and tried to go back to a normal colour but the more I thought about it, the more I kept smiling. I had to go upstairs and shove my head in my pillow to stop myself from laughing.

Why did he phone me? There was no reason. He could have just told me in school.

That is the 1st time a lad has ever phoned me and it was Dougie. YES!

Not long after, the phone rang again. I panicked for a minute until I was told it was Emma. I told her everything. She said she hadn’t told him to do the prank on me but she had given him my number. She had actually phoned about French homework but that was not talked about for long.

The rest of today has not been so good. (Neither was that actually. Very embarrassing!)

In the Music rooms at lunch, Josie ‘Bitch’ Nichol told Dougie that a girl from orchestra called Amy fancied him. Olivia fancies him too and she asked him which one out of us lot did he like most and he said none. That’s probably true but it put me in a bad mood all afternoon. The phone call has put me on a high now though.

Oh yeh, the other bad thing is that Davis is coming bowling. Damn it! It’s going to be awful now!


P.S. I still can’t believe he phoned!