What the hell is wrong with me?!? – 17th to 20th December 2000

Sunday 17th I am sooo worried!! If anything, my legs have got worse cos from my feet to my tummy button is all sort of numb. I can’t stop getting upset about it. What the hell is wrong with me?!?

Jake took me to see The Family Man at the cinema tonight. It was a really good film and took my mind off my legs a bit.

Bye!

Monday 18th Mum took me to the doctor’s today about my legs. He did lots of little tests to me but said that he really doesn’t know what it is. He did say not to worry seeing as my hand’s better but when you lose the feeling in your legs, it’s a bit difficult not to!

A few of us went round to Isaac’s tonight cos we had nothing else to do. We started a ransom note style letter to Hugo to go with the book we got him and it looks really good!

Sarah told me that the last time she was at work, some woman had paid by credit card and Sarah noticed her name was T. J. Taylor! Weird! Then, Sarah (being Sarah!) asked her if that was her real name!

Bye!

Tuesday 19th A group of us went to the Sports Club tonight and, other than Hayley being her usual loud, annoying self it was quite good!

Later on, we moved to The Beech Tree where Jake was with him fellow Venture Scouts. Ahh, how cute!

Bye!

Wednesday 20th It was the last day of school today before Christmas! Rather than go to Mr H’s sad college assembly where you’re forced to sing stuff like Old McDonald, play charades and eat biscuits, Cat and I went to church. That was quite good and it made me feel much more Christmassy!

The Swing Band played in the big school assembly which’ll be the last Xmas assembly for me at school 😦 Oh well!!

Then a few of us progressed on to The Coach and Horses. Mr P-K, Mr L and Mr B were all there too so that kept Cat happy!

It was the grading for our blue belts at kickboxing tonight and I’m really upset I’ve had to miss out cos of my legs. So, Jake took me to the cinema again to see Meet The Parents which is really funny!

Bye!

 

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I’m going to slap her myself soon! – 13th and 15th December 2000

Wednesday 13th It was my last school Christmas concert with Swing Band tonight at the Parr Hall in Warrington. It all went really well, I think. Jake and Connor ended up coming to watch though!

I got a message from Jake tonight saying, “OK! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT US RUNNING OUT OF TIME!? WE CAN’T LEAVE IT FOR LONGER THAN A YEAR! WE’LL REGRET IT! LOVE xJx”.

Bye!

Friday 15th Everyone’s beginning to get really pissed off with Hayley and I think it’s about time someone said something to her. She’s always been a selfish bitch but nobody ever stands up to her cos it’s too much hassle!

She’s started slagging off Karen and Lizzie really badly, she’s been interfering with Henry Rockwell’s life by stirring things with him and Ellen Tate (who are a potential couple!), she’s accused me of keeping stuff from her but I have no idea what, and there are plenty of other reasons for her to annoy people.

The thing is that I know that once one person says something, loads of other people will back them up but nobody wants to be brave just in case everyone else keeps quiet! I’m going to slap her myself soon!

Karen, Lizzie and I went out tonight, even though everyone else was being boring and staying in. We started off in The Coach and Horses but then moved on to The Beech Tree where Jake was having a small works Xmas do. It was over by the time we got there so he came to join us.

Lizzie, Karen and I then spotted the 2 most drop-dead-gorgeous teachers from our school, Mr L (who Cat’s got a “thing” with!) and Mr P-K! So, we just happened to sit at a table next to them.

Lizzie’s dad gave me and Jake a lift home cos he stayed in our spare room tonight.

My legs have gone sort of numb like my hand did. I’m getting really worried!

Bye!

 

He thought I was going to dump him – 9th to 12th December 2000

Saturday 9th Jake and I went to that IMAX thing at The Printworks in Manchester. We went to see one called “Extreme” which was a mistake cos it just made me want to go skiing even more! It was quite good but we were really disappointed cos we thought they were all 3D and that one wasn’t.

On the way out, Jake was dawdling so I got pissed off and sped up walking. That was stupid cos we ended up getting split up and I was on my own in the middle of Manchester. I was just beginning to panic when I saw him over the road. He saw me too and must have known I was worrying but he just stood there and didn’t come over.

Once we got back to the car we made up but I was still a bit pissed off cos he left me stood there.

Bye!

Sunday 10th Jake and I had another fall out tonight. It started off cos of that cowboy hat I bought and him saying I don’t have the self-confidence to wear it, amongst a few other things which upset me too. I told him he could go home if he wanted and he left.

Later on I got bored and felt guilty so I texted him. He sent back a really long apology and came back. He told me he was just sat in a car park in the next village, just in case I forgave him. He then went all cuddly and said he’d dreaded reading my message cos he thought I was going to dump him! I wouldn’t!

Bye!

Monday 11th Jake and I have been going out for 10 whole months!! That seems like ages!

We went to IMAX again and saw a 3D one called Cyberworld 3D. It was sooo good!

In the car park later, we both got upset because we realised how little time we’ve got left together before he leaves.

As we were driving, he ended up getting caught by both a speed camera and one as he went through and amber light. That’s not good!

Bye!

Tuesday 12th A few of my mates met up in The Coach tonight and then moved on to The Dog. It was quite good actually. We’ve started to plan our trip to Barcelona. So far, the definites are Jake, Cat, Sarah and I, and the maybes are Hayley, Gethin and Emma.

Again, Jake and I ended up in tears in the car later because of Canada. I really don’t want him to go!

Bye!

I’ll have to have a disciplinary meeting – 3rd to 5th December 2000

Sunday 3rd I saw Jake this evening. We didn’t do much really. He told me he can see me ending up as a teacher and making a good mum! It was just cos I had that ‘Do your ears hang low?’ song stuck in my head so I kept singing it!

Bye!

Monday 4th The mock exams started today and I have to go to learning support to do mine because of my hand so I don’t sit in the exam hall. I don’t mind though. I had a laptop if I needed it and get extra time and rest breaks if I want.

I finally got round to ringing The Green Dragon to say I can’t work over Christmas cos I’m going on holiday. (I’m not really, I just want to see Jake as much as I can before he goes to Canada!) I had to speak to Martin the manager (twat!) and he said he can’t allow me to do that so I’ll have to have a disciplinary meeting. I told him it’s tough and there’s nothing I can do about it, so fine!

Hah, they can all go fuck themselves, I’m not going back there again! I hate the place!

I’ve bought a new phone. It’s a Sagem Vodafone one and it’s sooo nice!

Bye!

Wednesday 6th I handed in my resignation at The Green Dragon! It’s put me in such a good mood! I handed in a doctor’s note about my hand too so I don’t have to work the rest of the week.

Went to The Coach and Horses quiz again. It was better than last time cos people were there. We all went back to Floyd’s after too.

Bye!

Just cos he’s got a microphone, he think he’s God! – 20th to 30th November 2000

Monday 20th The subject of 5 came up between me and Jake again tonight. Neither of us want to wait much longer but we don’t seem to believe each other when we say we’re sure.

For example, I got a message saying, “YOU SAID THAT YOU THOUGHT I DON’T WANT TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT – THAT I’D RATHER WAIT! WELL, I DON’T WANT TO WAIT! : ( IF YOU DON’T WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN THEN YOU SHOULD TELL ME! I’LL UNDERSTAND IF YOU’RE WORRIED OR WHATEVER! I REALLY CAN’T WAIT! xJx”.

Bye!

P.S. I’ve just got another message from Jake saying, “OF COURSE I AM! YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I BOTTLE THINGS UP! I NEVER REALLY ADMIT TO STUFF LIKE BEING WORRIED! REMEMBER AT HAYLEY’S SISTER’S? YOU COULD HAVE SAVED ME A LOT OF WORRYING BY LETTING ME KNOW NOTHING COULD HAPPEN – EVEN IF WE WANTED TO! WHY DO YOU THINK I WOULDN’T LET YOU LOOK IN MY BAG! I FELT SO STUPID! OK SO WE WOULDN’T BE IN AS MUCH OF A HURRY IF I WASN’T FOR ME LEAVING BUT BY ANYONE’S STANDARDS WE’VE BEEN VERY SLOW! WE SHOULD HAVE DONE IT BEFORE NOW – REGARDLESS OF ME GOING ANYWHERE! LOVE xJx”.

I feel really guilty about Hayley’s sister’s now!

Wednesday 22nd Kickboxing was really good tonight and the instructor said to me, “Good girl! At least one of you knows what you’re doing!” and then later, “That was very good! How come you’re better than the rest of them?!”

Cool!

Bye!

Monday 27th Other than my hand still being numb, I discovered a lump on my back last Thursday. What now?!

Jake, Abby, Connor and I all went to Chester Zoo today cos college had an inset day and we had nowt to do. It was really good! There were baby orangutans and a baby elephant but we all agreed the meerkats were the best!

When we got home, Jake told me I’m gorgeous and that the gap in my teeth is sexy! I think not!

Bye!

P.S. I had a message from Jake saying, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST THING ABOUT THIS IS? WHEN I GET BACK IT’S GOING TO BE DIFFERENT THAN IT IS NOW! EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT IT JUST CUTS ME UP! I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH! I DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU, EVER! xJx”.

Tuesday 28th I did the pub quiz at The Coach and Horses with Hayley, Sarah, Georgia and Floyd. Big Paul does it and it’s crap! Just cos he’s got a microphone, he think he’s God!

Bye!

Wednesday 29th Kickboxing was good again. Dave (the instructor) tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Not bad! But then you’re the best one of the quartet!” The quartet is me, Abby, Evie and Debbie F.

Bye!

Thursday 30th I was sooo pleased this morning because I went to check the UCAS website to see if they’d put my Leeds offer up (they want B, C and C) and I looked and it said I had 2 conditional offers from Huddersfield, both for 14 points! That’s where I really want to go, partly because Jake’s going there (he wants me to as well) so I went to phone him straight away.

My good mood went away pretty quickly because nobody seemed all that pleased for me. I thought they knew how much I want to go there.

Bye!

It’s my 18th birthday today!! – 12th November 2000

18

Part of Auntie G’s present →

Lottery

Yes, that’s right, it’s my 18th birthday today!! I’ve got loads of money and loads of presents!! Jake bought me a pink Quiksilver jacket that I’ve like for ages, I got lots of little presents off Mum, Dad and Abby and jewellery off everyone in Wick.

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[Sporting my pink coat at a later date with Abby and Rhian in Wick.]

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[Still got the box decorated by Mum and filled with 18 little presents. It’s now one source of hideous teenage photos that I add to these posts.]

Jake and I somehow ended up in Chester just wandering round. It was a bit boring, rainy and cold but very nice!

Bye!

At least 3 of them were very, very fit! – 8th to 11th November

Wednesday 8th I went to the doctor’s again today and he thinks it’s a trapped nerve, possibly caused by me banging my elbow on something. I’ve got to go back in 2 weeks if it doesn’t improve. He mentioned something about nerve conduction tests. They don’t sound too good!

I missed half of college today cos I couldn’t write.

Bye!

Friday 10th

TicketTicket

I got this ↑ from Mr Smith’s nightclub in Warrington plus 8 of these:

Ticket

[They had such a strict over 18s policy that they invited me on a night when I was still 17. Good old Smith’s!]

So, a load of my mates and I went tonight. Jake didn’t come cos he hates it there but I wasn’t that bothered. It’s more fun with just my mates. Quite a few people didn’t get in in the end but all my main friends did.

I really enjoyed myself! I had loads of lads trying it on with me (and at least 3 of them were very, very fit!) but I rejected them all, of course!

Bye!

Saturday 11th Work was awful today! Q (a chef) was being a right bastard as soon as I arrived and then I kept dropping things cos of my hand being numb.

I saw Jake for a bit and Auntie G and Grandma S came to visit.

Bye!