We could tell he was pissed – 19th May 2000

Friday 19th All the Year 11s and College 2s left officially today so we stole the comfy chairs out of their downstairs common room and put them in ours!

I really don’t want Jake to leave college cos I’ve got so used to seeing him every day and I won’t anymore. I saw him this morning (he was wearing that lovely pink shirt that he won’t admit is pink!) but he went to The Coach and Horses with all his mates in the afternoon (fair enough) but then he came back towards the end of the day cos he had to get the school bus home cos he’d not brought his car cos he knew he’d be drinking!

He just came and sat in our room with us for a bit but we could tell he was pissed cos he couldn’t quite sit up straight and had to keep leaning on me! He also let me paint his nails again! He said he likes me doing it but he just doesn’t like the after effects!

He said he’s still got the present that Hayley and I gave him yesterday hanging in his car. He said his dad’s seem it and thought it was good but he didn’t tell him what each part represented. He told his sister though and she thought it was cool! Hmmm!

When the bell went for the end of school, he wouldn’t go! He just hung on to me saying “kiss” until I gave him one! I got up to get my bag and he hung on to my waist and cuddled me from behind and just said, “Love you”. He’s sooo sweet!

We’ve arranged to go to The Dog tonight so I’ll write about that tomorrow.

Bye!

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He kept asking me if I loved Jake on film! – 18th May 2000

Thursday 18th I know I’ve not written anything for a few day but then not a lot’s been happening.

At lunchtime today, Jake took me, Hayley and Floyd on one last outing in his car before he officially leaves college tomorrow. He took us to The Farmer’s Arms pub because that’s where Floyd’s mum works and also where Floyd might end up living due to his mum getting an interview for manager or something.

Over the last week or so, I’ve noticed that Jake has been touching me (e.g. holding hands, arm round me, cuddling me, his hand on my leg and stuff) in college much more than usual. I don’t mind, in fact I prefer him like that than sat on a chair at the opposite side of the room from me but I don’t know what’s triggered it. I suppose it could be because we might not see each other quite so much once he’s left college so he’s making the most of it now. It could just be that we feel much more comfortable round each other now. I know I do!

Gethin had a video camera with him today. He’s started preparing for when we leave already! He say says he’s going to film us now and then do it again when we’re in College 2 and then make a copy for us all to keep so we can remember everyone.

He kept cornering me and he kept asking me if I loved Jake on film! I didn’t know what to say! I couldn’t say no because Jake will probably see it eventually but then I didn’t want to say yes because this time next year I might not be with him and I’d feel stupid for saying that, especially if I want to deny it then!

Quite a few people have written in Jake’s leaving book now so I had a bit of a read of it this morning. Some of it said about other people he’d snogged in the past when playing Spin the Bottle and stuff and matchmaking things which involved him and someone else being set up with each other.

I know it shouldn’t matter and doesn’t anymore, and it’s not like I’ve never had any other lads but I still got jealous reading about it, in a way! I suppose I just don’t like the thought of him having more girlfriends/snogs than I have, although I suppose he has had one extra year of life than I have to fit them in. I mean, I don’t know if he has and I think it’s that not knowing what he’s got up to and who with that I don’t like! Guess I’ll never know and I’m probably better off not doing!

Ha ha!! Robbie Taylor is going to ask that silly little Miranda girl in Year 9 out to the cinema! They’ve got each other’s phone numbers and all! She’s such a pain!! She stalked Jake for ages and used to hide from me and stuff when she discovered I’m his girlfriend! Sad!!

All the Year 11s are leaving tomorrow as well. It’s going to be really weird without them and the College 2s. I hope I’ll still get to see Jake a lot. I couldn’t bear not doing!

Hayley and I made Jake a leaving present! We made one of those Eye of God things that we used to make in Brownies (and it turns out he used to make them in Scouts too! Ha ha ha!!!). It wasn’t originally for him, we were just bored so we got two pencils and used some wool that was in the common room and made one to see if we could remember how to do it!

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The colours we used all seem to represent Jake through so we gave it to him and he’s put it in his car! He seemed to like it but was probably thinking ‘how sad’ really. I know Hayley and I were!!

Bye!