I’ve hired Cat as my bodyguard – 1st-4th November 1999

Monday 1st I had to go back to college today after half term. I saw Trotter again for the first time in ages and he’s still as gorgeous as ever.

Most people know about Nathan and Aled now. Davis said Nathan said, “Hi”. Ed found out about Aled and was telling me to say it wasn’t true and stuff. Lizzie told him. We’ve agreed we’re even now after I told Aled about Brett and now she’s said that to Ed.

Aled was being nice to me again today. When Oscar was telling him I’d said that if I was going out with someone, I’d dump them before Xmas so I didn’t have to buy them a present, Aled then said, “Oh, I’ve always said that!” Hmmm, to be honest, I’m not so sure he has because Oscar couldn’t confirm it.

BYE!

P.S. I got this postcard from Freda this morning. It’s a bit late arriving because she got back last Wednesday!

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Tuesday 2nd Freda said she might have a party at her house on my birthday, using both my birthday and Poppy’s birthday as the excuse. Aled’s got ice hockey on Fridays so he was whinging and trying to get it changed to Saturday because he wants to come. It’s not even confirmed it’s happening because Freda hasn’t asked her parents.

To be honest, I feel a bit guilty about this because it’s hardly fair we use her house. I mean, she genuinely doesn’t seem to mind though. It’s just any excuse for a party with her.

I got another postcard this morning, this time from Hayley.

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I’m quite worried already about what Hayley’s reaction to the Aled situation’s going to be. I know I really shouldn’t be but it’s likely she’ll twist it in some way, especially if this party goes ahead and we get together again.

However much of a cow she’s been recently, I would kind of like to be able to talk to her bout all this. I think I could also possibly trust her to tell all the Nathan details too because I really want to tell someone.

I’m worried about Dad. He’s really hurt his back again. He was in loads of pain tonight and could hardly walk. I didn’t like seeing him like that so I had to go in another room. Mum’s taking him to the doctor tomorrow morning so hopefully he’ll do something for it.

BYE!

Thursday 4th Aled decided today that he might just skip hockey altogether so he can come to Freda’s party. I hope he does. It sounds like loads of people are going now. More than usual. I don’t know if they’re all staying though.

I’ve hired Cat as my bodyguard against Freda and Cat’s hired me to control her intake of alcohol! She doesn’t want a repeat of the Chris Kelly-Banks situation and Freda is pretending to be a lesbian again. She’s kept it going too long now. It was quite funny to start with but she’s just getting on my nerves now.

BYE!

“I can think of a way to warm them up” – 31st October 1999

Sunday 31st I remembered something else that Nathan said the other night. I was complaining that my hands were cold and he said, “I can think of a way to warm them up but I won’t say it!”

Lizzie told me that he used to be quiet too. It must have definitely been the alcohol. I’ve been dying to tell someone the details but I can’t find the right person who I can trust.

I had my hair cut by a couple of inches, layered and highlighted this afternoon at the hairdressers. I’m quite pleased with the way it’s turned out. It’ll be a complete state again by tomorrow though.

Lizzie, Cat, Karen, Oscar, Aled and I went to the cinema this evening, intending to see The Blair Witch Project but it was sold out all night. We went to see Mad Cows instead. It was on okay film but nowt happened between Aled and I which I’m a bit disappointed about. He noticed my hair was different though!

BYE!

P.S. On the way to and way back from the hairdressers, I saw one of the fit lads from kickboxing who spoke to us on Wednesday. He must live nearby because today I saw him on his bike and he walked away from the leisure centre on Wednesday.

Making his own amusement – 29th October 1999

Friday 29th I did go to Davis’s part last night and I did end up quite enjoying it. I went round to Emma’s first because she, Suzanna, Nicola Banks and I were getting a lift with Nicola’s ‘friend’ Steve. I didn’t really feel all that safe in a car with his driving. He was a bit mad but we made it to Davis’s. There were loads of people already there when we arrived, most of whom I didn’t know so I went and sat in a room with Dougie, Keira and Gethin.

After I’d had a couple of drinks, I wandered round the house a bit. I started talking to this girl called Mel who seemed alright. Last time I went to Davis’s, Nathan Holmes was there and he was there again last night. I had it in the back of my head to just go for it with him because he’s quite nice but he seemed a bit shy again and Mel kept telling me he was usually like that so I gave up on the idea.

I did start talking to Nathan when people started telling him he looked a bit like Aled Brownlee and he asked me who that was. I reassured him that he wasn’t such a bad person to look like. At this point I let it slip that I’d met [snogged] Aled on Saturday. Unfortunately, Gethin was in the room at the time so I might as well face it that everyone’ll know!

A bit later on, Nathan and Keira seemed to be getting on pretty well which, I have to say, made me quite jealous. I was glad when I walked into a room and saw Keira and this Sam lad meeting [snogging] each other. I went to where Nathan was and sat and talked to him for a while.

We ended up outside, leaning against the car, talking about Dougie and Suzanna (they’d been in a bedroom together for ages) until it got too cold so we went inside. Sam went home for a while but, even though he was coming back, Keira went back to flirting with Nathan so I went and watched TV.

Everyone seemed to be gradually pairing off and I was just beginning to think I’d be left on my own when Nathan came in. He sat down on the opposite end of the couch but reached across to offer me some of his Hooch. I took a swig and handed the bottle back. It was a slow exchange and he had his hand on mine. Then he reached across and held my hand before sliding over to my end of the seat.

We were about to meet [snog] each other but a load of people walked in so he suggested we had a look for a spare room. There was nobody in Davis’s sister’s room so we went in there. Before we did anything, Nathan and I agreed that it was just for one night, just for fun and it wasn’t going to go any further. I was fine with that because I still don’t have a clue if anything’ll happen with Aled so that way it was less complicated.

We were just lying there, snogging, when Nicola came in. She lay down between us and tried to sleep. She didn’t take the hint that we wanted her to go so we just ignored her and carried on kissing. Then Gavin and Davis came in. Davis lay on top of me and Gavin squeezed on the bed next to Nathan. This is when Nathan suggested we found somewhere else.

We went upstairs to Davis’s room and climbed onto his bed. Nathan started asking if I’d be pissed off with him in the morning but I said no and asked why. He told me he’d just had bad experiences in the past where girls had been annoyed with him. Then he’d just said it’d made him really paranoid. He kept asking me if I was okay and admitted that he wasn’t actually very experienced and that he’d never gone all the way with a girl.

At some point, Gavin walked in and sat down at a desk until we started meeting each other again then he left. Nathan had his hand on my bra which I didn’t really mind but I had to tell him to stop when he started undoing my trousers. He asked why I wouldn’t let him so I told him it was the wrong time of the month. He said that that was always the excuse and thought it was really because I didn’t like him. I swore to him I wasn’t making it up.

He shut up then and we kissed for a bit longer. He kept stopping and just looking at me sometimes and at one point he sat on me and said, “I bet you don’t mind having a lad straddling you!” I just sort of grinned. After that, he started kissing me faster and I got the impression he wanted to go a bit further than I did but nothing happened.

We got a bit bored after a bit so we went down to see what everyone else was doing. After curling up on the sofa for a while he wandered off for some toast. Keira and Davis were joking about doing a strip but they decided it was too cold so we went into Davis’s parent’s room where there was a gas fire. Nathan and Gavin came in later after talking about something (that made me a bit paranoid!) and getting Nathan’s sleeping bag off Nicola.

Nathan came and sat on the floor with me and held my hand. It got a bit uncomfortable on the floor so Gavin and Nathan went to find a room to sleep in. I followed so Gavin left us on our own again. Nathan stripped down to his boxers ready to sleep and crawled into his sleeping bag. I was shivering so he let me under it too. He’s a swimmer which probably helped him to get the nice body he has.

We just kissed a bit longer and his hand crept back up my top. I did start dozing off at one point when we were just lying there and he thought I was losing interest. Every time I started falling asleep, he kept waking me up by saying, “Tess, are you asleep?” or “Come back, Tess!” He kept humming too. Also, every so often, he kept asking me if I liked him and I told him that I wouldn’t be there if I didn’t, which was true.

I really did go tired at one point so I pretended I was asleep so I didn’t have to keep going with [snogging] him which was obviously keeping me awake. I was just lying there, pretending to be asleep and he suddenly came out with, “You’re gorgeous”. It was dark so I just smiled to myself without him realising I was still awake.

A while later, the bed started shaking and so was Nathan. I think I might have actually been asleep so I didn’t think anything of it when I first woke up, other than maybe he was cold. Then I realised what he was actually doing right next to me! I did actually have to try really hard not to laugh. He had hold of my hand still and moved it down towards his lower half. I didn’t move my hand away because he’d have known I wasn’t asleep so I rolled over a bit and rested my hand back on his stomach. Then stuff went all over my hand and sleeve. I wasn’t very impressed.

A few seconds later, Gavin, Nicola and Maz P (I think) walked in and switch the light on. Nathan, of course, had to try and cover himself up with his sleeping bag but Nicola tried to pull it off him. Luckily she was unsuccessful. We got rid of them and Nathan started mumbling about how that’d been too close. He got up and went in the bathroom and so did I to wash my hands and sleeve when he came out again.

We then snuggled back under his sleeping bag. I pretended to be asleep again when he started asking me if I liked him for about the 50th time because I couldn’t be bothered answering! It got a bit lighter outside so when I opened my eyes a bit, I could see him smiling to himself just before he whispered, “Have you got a problem with my knob?” [YES! FUCK OFF, NATHAN!] I ignored him and he said, “You don’t know how much I need a wank.” I think he was muttering it more to himself than me. He started making his own amusement again so I continued pretending to be sleeping.

He said something about having an “amazing headache” and got up and went out of the room. I didn’t see him again until I went out myself. I was watching Titanic in the living room with people and he was sat at a table on the other side of the glass doors watching it too. I turned round and we had mega long eye-contact and he smiled at me.

He left to go home before I did but I had to leave soon after him because I had a dentist appointment this morning. The only problem was that I couldn’t find my boots. I looked everywhere but I couldn’t see them. Everyone was searching and Davis eventually found them under the sofa or somewhere. I couldn’t stop thinking about Nathan [CREEEEEEEEEEEEEP!] and Aled all morning. I hope it doesn’t get too complicated.

It went fine at the dentist’s and she even said she wished her teeth were as strong as mine. I still hate going though.

I slept all afternoon until the phone calls started. Sarah rang just to chat, then Oscar rang. He was mostly going on about Lizzie but then said that Aled was thinking of asking me out. I’m not supposed to know so I’ve got to act shocked if he does! I don’t really want him to because people’ll take the piss. I know that shouldn’t matter but it does.

I spoke to Oscar again later and he added that Aled had said he liked me and wanted to know when my birthday was (he knows it’s soon) so he could wait until after it before he asks me out so he doesn’t have to buy me a present. I’d say he was a cheeky bastard but I’m not so sure I wouldn’t do the same!

Oscar also said that his parents are getting suspicious because of the amount of time he’s been on the phone to me for. They think Oscar and I’ll be going out soon. I think not! He’s too obsessed with Lizzie anyway.

Aled phoned too tonight. He wanted to know if I was going to town tomorrow night. I said no because no girls are going so it’s just Aled, Julian and Dev W, I think. I hope Aled doesn’t do too much with any girls. In fact, I hope he doesn’t do anything!

BYE!

P.S. Lizzie told me that she used to know Nathan because he used to swim with her team until he got better and moved to Warriors which is how he knows Davis, I think.

My heart raced, my hands sweated and I couldn’t stop smiling – 27th October 1999

Wednesday 27th I went to the Trafford Centre with Lizzie today and I finally got to see Brett. Oscar was also around somewhere but we didn’t see him. Lizzie and I just wandered round the shops and I got a message on my phone saying that Brett was there with his mate Leon.

We rang Brett’s mobile and met up with him and Leon. Leon was alright looking (but he’s got a girlfriend) but Brett was pretty minging. He’s quite a nice lad personality-wise but he’s quite short, chubby and spotty and reminded me a bit of Tyrone out of Coronation Street.

We all wandered round a bit longer and then Leon got a call on his mobile from Damon, Amir and Cam (his swimming mates) telling him to meet them in the arcade bit. They were all minging too. Damon’s a fat bastard, Amir’s a lanky, spotty lad and Cam has got goofy teeth and is also a bit on the chunky side of things.

The lads finally went home and Lizzie and I sat down and ate a sandwich from FT5K. Then from above us we heard all this whistling and shouting and a cleaner came up to our table and told us some lads wanted us. We turned round and looked up and some lad was asking us to meet [snog] his mate. (Minging again!) To start with he wouldn’t take no for an answer but eventually went when we said Lizzie’s boyfriend was around somewhere.

When I got home my dad said Oscar had phoned twice so I rang him back. He said he’d had an awful day. He’d gone to the Trafford Centre with his mum and brother and separated from them to look for us. We hadn’t even arrived. He then lost his mum and bro so he tried to ring my mobile but got the Vodafone answering service woman. He left a message telling us to meet him somewhere but, because I didn’t get it, I didn’t meet him so he was stood waiting for ages. He said he tried to phone again but got the Vodafone woman again. He said he even considered putting out an announcement over the speaker things.

I think it’s a good job we didn’t see him really because he said he was so pissed off he’d probably have just thumped Brett as soon as he saw him.

We then got onto the subject of Xmas presents. He was asking what the hell he should buy Lizzie and I was asking what the hell you buy lads in general. Neither of us had an answer. He said I’ve got to tell Lizzie that, for his Xmas present from her, he wants her to wrap herself up and go back to him with a card saying she’d dumped Brett.

When Oscar’d gone, the phone rang again. This time it was Gethin wanting Davis’s phone number. I don’t think I’ve got it so I just asked him why. He said that Davis is having a party because his parents are going away. I don’t think he realised I hadn’t been invited. He said I should just go anyway. He asked me what I’d been doing and I told him not much. He then asked me if I’d been out with Oscar and ‘Maggotboy’ (Aled) and I kind of laughed. He then suspected something was going on with Aled but I changed the subject quickly.

Then when Gethin’d gone, the phone rang again. It was Aled. My heart raced, my hands sweated and I couldn’t stop smiling. He wanted to know if I could go to town on Saturday with a group of us. I didn’t give a definite answer. I then told him about Brett which was probably a mistake because he’ll say something to Lizzie and then she’ll kill me.

Then he started going on about getting back from town (if I go) and seemed concerned about me going to my village in a taxi on my own. It seemed to keep him happy when I suggested I could stay at Lizzie’s, although that’s unlikely to happen.

I went kickboxing again tonight. I love it so far. Tonight I learned how to do left jab, right cross and left uppercut punches and a round kick. It’s great. Tonight there was Abby, Julia, Evie, Sadie and I. On the way out these two fit lads (one of which is S. Rowley – I heard someone read it out) asked us if we’d enjoyed it. They’d probably noticed us staring at them!

When I got in afterwards, Mum said Emma’d phoned twice. I rang her back and she said Davis had told her to invite me to his party tomorrow. I said I’d go. Suzanna’s boyfriend’s giving us a lift and is charging £2.50 each. I might do that when I can drive!

I’m not sure I want to go tomorrow. I’ve not spoken to Emma, Davis etc. for quite a while and it’s an all-nighter which means I’ll be knackered on Friday which I don’t really want to be. I’ll probably still go though. [I wish I hadn’t gone so that I didn’t have to type up the diary entry for it!]

BYE!

‘Meet’ means to snog and so does ‘go with’ – 26th October 1999

[Were there any awful terms for snogging at your school?!]

Tuesday 26th I ended up going into town today like we’d arranged last night. I rang Oscar this morning and he said Aled was coming so all the way to Oscar’s I was letting Lizzie know how much I was wetting myself about seeing Aled. It turned out she wasn’t much looking forward to facing Oscar either.

We got to his house and Aled was already there. I started playing with my phone for something to do and Aled decided he wanted to listen to this message that Sarah had left on which she sounded as if she’d been crying. I let Oscar hear it yesterday so he must have mentioned it to Aled.

We set off for the bus stop and Lizzie started going on about Saturday and how I’d been whinging that I was running out of time to meet* Aled and she told him about trying to wake him up and him just grinning and nodding. I think that was the most awkward point of the day actually.

*‘Meet’ means to snog and so does ‘go with’, just in case you’re getting confused. I actually think ‘meet’ is a stupid way of putting it but everyone’s saying that and I’ve kind of just picked it up.

We just saw the bus at the stop in the distance so Oscar decided to run to try and keep it there. He couldn’t. While Oscar was gone, Aled started saying how he really couldn’t remember much. He said, “I remember starting the tequila drinking contest and Karen being sick and then waking up and… erm… and just waking up. That’s all.” I think he was maybe going to say about waking up and feeling happy or whatever but remembered who it was he was talking to just before he did!

Once we got into Warrington, we walked about for a bit and met up with Zack Bain, Dev W, and Sean Fields. Soon after, the lads tried to talk us into going to Laser Quest but neither Lizzie nor I wanted to. The lads set off but stopped round the corner and tried to persuade us again. We said no so they went again.

About 10 mins later, we were looking in a shop window and the lads came back again. They’d decided to try and persuade us again but once we’d made it clear we weren’t going with them, Aled and Oscar started saying that maybe it was a bit childish at Laser Quest and maybe they wouldn’t bother going after all.

Sean went off somewhere and Zack and Dev were trying to get Oscar and Aled to go to Laser Quest but they said they’d stick with Lizzie and me for a bit and maybe go later. I think Aled might have heard Lizzie and me saying how we seemed to have control over them and that they couldn’t keep away because a few minutes later, they went.

Later on as we were getting ready to go back for the bus, some man in a white jacket walked past, staring at us. When we sat on a bench, a while later he came and sat with another man on a nearby bench. He was only young but not particularly fit or anything. He was staring again so we moved. As I turned round he waved at us and as we were going down the escalators he was stood on a corner again.

He was a bit creepy and I commented on how I wished Aled and Oscar were with us. Of course, Aled and Oscar had to be waiting for the bus with us so, when we mentioned this bloke, Lizzie had to say to Aled how I’d said I wished he’d been there. I didn’t really see his reaction.

I’d likened this bloke to Nutter so when he got on our bus from the industrial estate, it was so weird. I’ve not seen him for ages (his lip piercing’s gone) and just looking at him brought back how scared I’d been when I got that death threat and stuff. Aled commented that I’d gone really white and then he and Lizzie started miming slashing themselves. Nutter couldn’t see because he was in front of us.

Just before the lads got off the bus, Aled asked if I’d heard from Sarah. Then he said that he hated her and stuff and when I asked why he started saying something then said, “Never mind”. He also said I shouldn’t feel guilty because it’s got nothing to do with her. Er… yes it has!

I remembered something that Oscar told me yesterday about Saturday. He said Aled said to set him up with me before we got there. I’m still not convinced he likes me as much as I like him. Maybe I’m being too negative about all this.

Oscar phoned this evening and asked if I wanted to go to the cinema tomorrow night. I was the first person he’d asked but I can’t because I’ve got kickboxing. I might see him at the Trafford Centre tomorrow anyway though because I’m going with Lizzie. I wish Aled was going too.

I’m still not convinced he likes me as much as I like him. Maybe I’m being too negative about all this.

Oscar phoned this evening and asked if I wanted to go to the cinema tomorrow night. I was the first person he’d asked but I can’t because I’ve got kickboxing. I might see him at the Trafford Centre tomorrow anyway though because I’m going with Lizzie. I wish Aled was going too.

BYE!

She was his lobster – 25th October 1999

Monday 25th I went into Warrington with Zoe today because she wanted some shoes. We stopped off at McDonald’s for lunch and Oscar was working there so he talked to us for a bit and told me what Aled had said about waking up, seeing me on his bed and thinking, “Yeah!”. He then started saying how we should do something tomorrow but had to go so he said to phone him this evening.

He ended up on the 4:40pm bus home with us and I gave him my phone number and my mobile number so he could ring me. I also gave him Brett’s mobile number because he’d been going on about how he wanted it for future reference (e.g. for prank calls!).

We talked a lot on the way home. I said mostly about how I felt really guilty about Sarah and Oscar told me he reckoned Aled and I should get together. Then Oscar went on about how he really liked Lizzie and stuff and how she was his lobster (he got that off Friends!) and how he wanted to meet Brett and then burst him with a pin. Zoe kept pretty quiet for once!

This evening, Oscar rang and we decided to just get the bus into Warrington and decide where to go from there. Then we just talked about Lizzie + him and me + Aled. He says he’ll find out if Aled likes me or not. He might be coming tomorrow and all. That could be very awkward but I can’t decide if it actually will be or not.

I’m scared now as well as confused! I really don’t know what to expect.

BYE!

P.S. Keely Wade who I used to be best mates with in primary school won £10,000 this morning on Key 103’s Fiver Fever thing. How lucky is she?!

He rested his lips on mine – 24th October 1999

Sunday 24th I think I’ll begin with last night. It’s left me with totally mixed emotions today. I feel guilty, happy and worried all at the same time. This is what happened…

Lizzie’s dad picked me up at about 7:45pm and dropped us both off at Aled’s. When we arrived, Karen, Julian, Oscar and Aled (of course!) were already there. We went up to Aled’s room where they were on his Playstation and I got a phone call on my mobile. It was Sarah telling me she couldn’t make it because she had to work late. This completely ruined my plan of getting her to phone Big Paul and asking him out, leaving Aled free for me.

After she’d hung up, Abby phoned telling me that she couldn’t get anyone out on the park to go in Victoria Wine for me because the police were about. I wasn’t really bothered because the others had brought drinks.

We all trooped downstairs and put on some video that Julian brought but we soon got bored and Aled and Karen began their tequila slammer contest. That stuff is vile but they necked back quite a few so they got very drunk, very quickly! By then I’d already had one of Lizzie’s Bacardi Breezers and a Bacardi and coke (which was more like coke and Bacardi!) so I was beginning to feel the effects.

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[Different party, same year, same drink. I was never far from a Bacardi Breezer in 1999.]

Aled and Karen stopped and I went in the kitchen to get another drink but there was no coke left so I had Bacardi and Irn Bru. Aled followed me in and put his arm round me and showed me the list of things his parents had left him to do. I didn’t really care so I went back to finish making my drink. I put a sensible amount of Bacardi in but Aled decided to help and filled the glass about half way with it before putting a bit of Irn Bru in. By now I’d had about half the bottle of Bacardi to myself. I think Aled was trying to get me drunk!

I went back in the living room again. Julian was sat watching his video, Lizzie and Oscar were cuddling up on the sofa but Karen was nowhere to be seen. Then Aled came staggering in and announced that Karen was being sick in his sink. Julian and Oscar and Lizzie went to have a look and Aled cuddled up next to me on the sofa, holding my hand and kissing me on the cheek. I started telling him not to and explained about the Sarah situation. He said he didn’t care because she had no chance anyway.

The lads were trying to persuade the 3 of us to stay over so I phoned my mum but she put her foot down and wouldn’t let me because she said it might get out of hand. Lizzie said her dad’d take me home at about 1:00am. My mum was fine with that and so was I because Mum was threatening to come and pick me up and embarrass me.

When I came off the phone, Julian was stood on the landing upstairs trying to wake Aled up because he’d fallen asleep on the bathroom floor! I think he made it to his bed and fell asleep there instead.

I went back down and got surrounded by the others telling me to sod Sarah and stop being so stupid and go and snog Aled. I explained that I’d promised Sarah I wouldn’t but Julian and Oscar were saying that Aled just wouldn’t speak to her if he thought it was her fault I wouldn’t meet [snog] him because he really fancies me. I asked them if that was just their opinion or of he’d actually said that. They said he told them and they asked me if I liked him. I said I did.

I went up to see if he was awake but he wasn’t and I couldn’t wake him up so I went back downstairs and sulked because I thought I’d blown it. They all got sick of my whinging so Julian went up to wake Aled up. When Julian told Aled I liked him he just grinned and nodded, still with his eyes closed before sleeping again.

Then Lizzie went up to wake him. He did the same as he’d done to Julian but then she tried again and it worked. I got sent in and he woke up properly. I sat on his bed and he sat up and put his arm around me. We talked for a few minutes and I said how I had to go home in about minutes. I leaned back against the wall and so did he.

We just talked about Sarah again and he repeated what he’d said about her having no chance. He said her body had improved or something but he just wasn’t interested in her. I was telling him about how I was going to try to set her up with Big Paul but she’d liked Aled for ages too.

He then said that all this started happening between us at Freda’s pairty whch was a while ago too. I explained it didn’t happen because I was ‘kind of seeing someone’ and I had to explain about Duncan. I lied and said we’d ended it. Then I told Aled about how I’d done stuff like this to Sarah before such as with Ollie Bramwell.

Aled just didn’t care about Sarah and leaned over and kissed my face again. He rested his lips on mine and I eventually just gave in and I went with [snogged] him. He’s a nice, slow kisser. [CRINGING!] He stopped and asked me what I was going to say to Sarah but I wanted him to carry on so I said I didn’t care (another lie).

He stopped again and said, “So doesn’t this mean we’re going out or just meeting [snogging] each other or what?” I told him we’d better just stick to meeting each other for the time being.

Eventually, Lizzie yelled up to tell me that her dad had arrived so I went downstairs, followed by Aled. We had one last snog in the kitchen while the others were giggling in the hall and then I left. I really want to know what was said between the lads when I’d gone.

All day today I’ve been feeling guilty because of Sarah but happy because I might be seeing Aled and I’ve also been worried about how the hell I was going to tell Sarah.

Then this evening she phoned. I just confessed and apologised then told her about Karen and apologised some more. She made me feel even guiltier though by being so nice about it, saying it didn’t matter. I knew she was upset really but she also said she’d been expecting it.

A few minutes later, Lizzie phoned. I’ve been trying to get hold of her all day for advice on what to say to Sarah but it was too late by the time I finally got to speak to her. She was saying that Oscar had just phoned her and told her that Aled can’t remember anything and he and Julian had to fill him in on what they knew. He said all Aled could rememeber was starting the tequila contest, something about Karen being really drink and waking up to see me on his bed and feeling really happy about it.

I wish he hadn’t been quite so drunk. It’s not exactly flattering that he can’t even remember meeting me on his bed or in the kitchen. Mind you, I should’ve expected it really, the amount he’d had to drink!

Lizzie also jogged my memory a bit. She reminded me of when Aled had his arm round me but had hold of Lizzie’s arm instead of mine. Maybe stuff’ll come back to him too.

BYE!

All our questionnaires have the boxes ‘male’ and ‘aged 17-25’ ticked! – 21st-23rd October 1999

Thursday 21st We went to Cwm Idwal. This was not a good day. It was freezing, raining and a 3 mile trek.

Aled was dead sweet a couple of times. Once was when he and Adrian Ford were helping people cross this waterfall (some of the other girls were saying so too as I walked past them at one point) and another time I was pretty much on my own because I’d gone ahead of Sarah and Zoe, and Lucy and Dougie were still a bit ahead but Aled stopped and asked if I was alright and then walked with me for a while.

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[Aled being dead sweet and helping Sarah at Cwm Idwal.]

In the evening, Aled followed us into the pool room and then into a TV room we’d found. We were sat on our own for a few minutes when Sarah went to get her mobile, Zoe was on the phone and Lucy went to get a Pot Noodle, and he asked me why I was in a mood the other day. I didn’t know what he meant because as far as I could remember I hadn’t been. He said that on the coach the other day he said, “Hi Tess” and I’d ignored him. I told him I didn’t remember and I probably just hadn’t heard him.

Sarah bunked down on my floor again that night and admitted that she fancied Aled as well as Big Paul. I wasn’t pleased because I like him myself so I tried to convince her she had the best chance with Big Paul.

For hours I had a piece of grit stuck under my eyelid. It blew in on the walk and it scratched my eye every time I blinked. I was so relieved when I eventually got it out by pulling my eyelid down and rubbing it.

Aled was going on about going to town one evening. He was making out like it was sad if you’d never been. He also started talking about how older women were better. I hope he’s only talking about snogging. I pretended I wasn’t listening at that point.

Friday 22nd Came home and stopped off in Chester on the way to hand out questionnaires. Zoe, Kala L and I found fit lads and gave some to them so all our questionnaires have the boxes ‘male’ and ‘aged 17-25’ ticked! There were two particularly nice biker lads in McDonald’s who filled one in. I can’t remember where they were from.

Aled was knackered all day because he’d been sat up until 4:00am chatting to some girl. He called me over at breakfast to tell me Adrian had snogged some ‘fat bird’ and then added what he’d been doing on the end. I hope they really were only chatting.

We said bye to Gemma, Paula etc. before getting on the coach. On the way back, Aled managed to convince me to go to his gathering instead of bowling with Lizzie and ‘Mr Blobby’ (Brett).

Zoe and I went into town in the evening to find all the hang outs in town like Edison’s, Chuchills and McCauley’s for future reference. We didn’t go in because we had no time before the bus but we know where everyone is now though.

Robert Osborne was on the bus on the way there so we spoke to him. He’s gorgeous now! He’s gone to Priestley College and says he’s enjoying it. He said their Geography fieldtrip is to Kenya. How unfair is that?

He was telling us about how he’d been seeing that Tara girl (who’s new at college with us) for a couple of days but then she got back with her ex. He said she’s a bitch but that Diana Booth girl’s cool.

Zoe was telling me that Jav knows Jonesy somehow. That school was from Kirkby but he’s sure it’s the same lad. Could be handy!

Saturday 23rd Right, I’m back onto today [I’d written up the school trip when I got home. I daren’t take my diary away with me for fear of someone finding and reading it.]

All last night I was trying to arrange going to Aled’s with people and now Sarah, Lizzie and Karen Brent are coming. Lizzie’s doing bowling with Brett another night now so she’s picking Karen and I up at around 7:30pm. Then Lizzie and I are meeting Sarah outside Kwik Save at 9:30pm so we can show her dad where Aled lives.

Aled phoned me this afternoon to give me directions to 54 Drover Close where he lives and to tell me to bring some alcohol. I’ll take my Bacardi. When I told him I was coming he said, “Aah, yeah, nice one!” and sounded really pleased. That’s a good sign, isn’t it?

I want something to happen between Aled and me but I don’t want to do that to Sarah. I’ll have to see how it goes. I’ll fill you in tomorrow probably.

BYE!

[‘Tomorrow’ just made me cringe horribly.]

We found a group of rather fit lads playing football – 19th-20th October 1999

(Saturday 23rd – I’m back from Wales now. I survived it. I’ll just fill you in then.)

Tuesday 19th We travelled to the place where we were staying, stopping off at Llandudno, Conwy and Bangor to do some Geography fieldwork. That was boring.

When we arrived at the Conway Centre place, it seemed okay except we had rooms of our own which were freezing and 2 showers between about 14 of us. In the evening we got fed pretty manky food and then had to work for about 2 hours until 10:00pm.

After that I went exploring with Zoe. We found a group of rather fit lads playing football so that kept us happy for a while. They were from another Geography A Level group and the girls they were with were soon chatted up by Adrian Ford and Ed etc. Some of them spoke to Rachael Hollins, Zoe and I and asked if our lads were safe and stuff. We reassured them because they seemed okay. They were then saying they’d introduce us to their lads some time if we wanted. Gemma and Paula were the 2 we spoke to most. They said that Jonesy (the really fit, tall, blonde one) was single but was madly in love with someone.

Later on, Rach, Zoe and I went outside on the adventure playground and Aled came along. Mr R came out and told us to go back in but only Rach and Zoe did. Aled and I went in eventually too.

Wednesday 20th This was a really good day. Even the work was fun. We were doing fieldwork on the height of the sand dunes and the vegetation on them and stuff at Aberffraw. It was great because there were massive dunes which you could safely jump off and roll down.

Rach, Sarah and I finished early and we’d spotted a monster dune in the distance and Mr R gave us permissions to go and jump off it. On the way, Rach was talking and not looking where she was going and she stood on something soft  which started squealing. It was a rabbit! As soon as she took her foot of it, it shot off but it didn’t half make her jump!

After that, we got back on the coach and went to Newborough County Park. It was a long walk from the car park to the beach and Aled was talking to Sarah and I most of the way there.

In the evening, Aled told me that some girl from another school had walked up to him and asked him his name. He told her and she said it was a nice name and walked off again. I was beginning to get worried until he said they were all weird. He came for a wander round with us instead of his mates that night.

The thought of him getting a girlfriend really bothers me – 16th & 18th October 1999

Saturday 16th I went to the cinema tonight to see American Pie with Lizzie, Cat, Milla, Julian, Karen, Oscar, Dev W and Aled. The film was really sick but really funny.

I didn’t speak to Aled much at all. I don’t think he does like me.

Lizzie was flirting with all the lads in front of Oscar. Apparently, Oscar rang Lizzie today and said he wanted to ask her something but he didn’t in the end. He also spoke to Cat on the phone and told her how he was really confused and stuff. I feel so sorry for him. He’s just so sweet, I don’t like to think he’s upset over someone like Lizzie.

I’ve been thinking that I’ve gone off Aled over the last week or so but then every time he looks at a girl, I get this wave of jealousy. The thought of him getting a girlfriend really bothers me, even though I don’t really want to go out with him myself. Oh, I don’t know. I’m confused too!

BYE!

Monday 18th Lizzie’s really beginning to annoy people. Me, Cat, Sarah and Hayley especially. Nobody can talk to her without her interrupting and talking about swimming and Brett or without getting insulted.

For example, in Biology, I was talking about Trotter and she said, “I don’t know why you bother liking him. It’s not like you’ll ever get anywhere.” I’m not expecting to but that was just nasty to say that just because she knows we all think she’s being snidey to Oscar.

I’ve got to go on the Geography field trip tomorrow. I’m not taking this diary – it’s too risky. If somebody read it, it could be so embarrassing. So…

BYE!