2 bottles of vodka – 7th April 2000

Friday 7th I had a slightly better day in college today, although Jake did keep running off to do his Tech work so I didn’t see as much of him as I would’ve liked.

Gethin, Isaac, Hayley, Sarah and I all went round to Floyd’s house tonight. His parents were in to begin with so we had to meet his dad who we’d been told was a complete psycho. He was alright though.

Jake came along later and Floyd’s parents opened the door to see him stood there with 2 bottles of vodka. We thought they’d go mental but they didn’t seem to mind. When they went out, more people turned up (like Ken and Freda) and we opened the vodka. I was just sat on the couch for most of the night, using the opportunity to question Jake.

We got onto the subject of university and he quite likes the idea if us going to the same one. Then we got onto Canada and I was asking him what he’s do if he found the love of his life out there but he said he’s already found her (he meant me!!! 🙂 ) and that he wouldn’t go off with anyone else because he’d feel too guilty. Glad to hear it! I then asked if he reckoned we’ll ever split up and he told me that if we do it’d be my fault because he’d never dump me!

Gethin kept sitting next to me and stuff and Jake kept saying he was getting jealous and then said something about getting Hayley pregnant so I pretended I was annoyed with him and he came over and wouldn’t let go of me and was lying all over me.

Eventually he got up and went to the toilet. I didn’t realise how pissed he was until I got told he was being sick. Gethin had to carry him downstairs and took him outside to wait for a taxi. I went too and was greeted by Andy and Stu and their mates. Apparently Stu’s got a dog called Tessa so his mates kept taking the piss and telling me to sit and stuff then Stu said I was much better looking than his dog! I’ll take that as a compliment!

Meanwhile, Gethin was dragging Jake round the road on his back before making him walk round a bit and say he loved me (which he did). He was sick again and then Floyd’s parents came back, saw the state of Jake and gave me, him and Sarah a lift home.

Floyd’s dad was being dead nice about it when I kept apologising for Jake, saying he’d been in that state before now himself so he couldn’t complain. Jake just lolled about clutching a sick bowl! It’s a good job I know where he lives cos he was in no fit state to give directions, he just kept grinning at me. I also had to let him in his house cos he couldn’t turn the key!

When we got back to mine, Sarah told me she’d snogged Gethin and was deliriously happy!


Dad’s in the next room muttering, “Suits you, Sir” – 29th & 30th January 2000

Saturday 29th What a night!! Over the last hour I’ve had to try and control my family, basically because I’m the only sober one tonight.

Abby went round to her mate Alice’s house this evening and told Mum she’d be getting a lift back with someone else but, after Mum’d had a few glasses of wine, she phoned up and said she couldn’t get home. Mum got really, really mad with her so Abby got really, really upset and I was handed to phone to try and calm her down.

As I was explaining to Abby how to order a taxi, my mum decided to walk to Alice’s village to collect her. I talked her out of it so instead she decided she’d drive. I was about to try and stop her when Dad staggered through the front door. He’d been to this ‘Bent + Bongs’* beer festival around Atherton way and was totally and utterly pissed!

While I was trying to explain to Dad what was going on (which took a while because of the state he was in!), Mum managed to slip out of the front door and drove off to collect Abby. This meant I had to ring Alice’s to try to tell Abby to cancel the taxi. She was still crying and pissed off with Mum for making her come home because her mates might have been going to a party.

Within the space of that 10 minute phone call, Dad had put the same cup of coffee in the microwave about 5 times. When I came off the phone, he’d lost it somewhere between the toilet and kitchen!

Mum was taking quite a while to get home so I was getting a bit worried that she’d been stopped by the police or had driven into a field or something. Eventually she got back. Abby stormed upstairs and Mum stormed into the kitchen to be welcomed by Dad telling her she was gorgeous and his best mate and kissing her. I had to go out of the room! Yuk!!

Everyone seems to have calmed down a bit. Dad’s in the next room muttering, “Suits you, Sir” and stuff. I don’t think he’ll be feeling at his best tomorrow morning!


*[I probably need to explain Bent and Bongs…

Bents – A local name for the town of Atherton. Once upon a time, part (or maybe all) of the town was called Chow’s Bent and the Bent bit stuck locally.

Bongs – A local name for the town of Tyldesley. Once upon a time it was called Tildsley Banks. Banks became bongs because of the way people pronounced it there. Or something like that.]

Sunday 30th Nothing much has happened today. I’m just noting down that I’ve come off the Minocycline tablets [to treat my 50 million spotsfrom today.


The 4 of us gained some stalkers – 23rd July 1999

Friday 23rd We went to Mechelen and got a tour which was pretty boring and then we did a concert on some crappy little bandstand.


After feeding our lunch to the pigeons (which didn’t eat it either) we all piled on the coach and discovered Cat had fallen asleep on a chair. We were going to pretend we were driving off but unfortunately she woke up.


The afternoon consisted of swimming at Oceade. I didn’t swim coz I was worried that I would come on my period as I had a slight stomach ache but instead I told everyone I had an ear infection. That was believable coz it’s true that it could have come back if my ears came into contact with water and the day before on the water rides, it did.

My sister, Evie Evans and Hafsa B also didn’t swim. As long as we took our shoes and socks off we were allowed to walk round the edge of the pools so it was still quite good. I yelled at Mr P-R coz he splashed me with water badly and I was quite pleased with myself coz he shut up and said sorry!

The 4 of us gained some stalkers. They were dodgy looking so Mrs P got Patrick Campbell, Joe Anson and Dougie to come and pretend to be our boyfriends. It worked! It was so sweet of them to come and protect us like that coz they stayed with us until the creeps went.

We went to Brussels in the evening and most of us took the opportunity to stock up on alcohol. When we got back to the hostel, we drank it all so most people got upset about something. I have to say I was quite pleased when Gethin told me I was fine-looking!

Everyone got more upset than normal, I think because of the combination between tiredness, alcohol and hunger. This is what people were upset about:

Heidi – Found out Anthony Wiley fancies her but she’s with Davis but she liked both of them and didn’t want to hurt either of them. Anthony got hurt so that upset Heidi.

Keira – Really fancies Dougie but he’s giving her mixed signals so she’s confused. She also found out that he went with [snogged] an Essex slag.

Anthony – Fancies Heidi but Heidi chose Davis.

Emma – Davis going out with Heidi. Mrs P was also outside our room talking about us all but mostly Emma, saying things like, “Emma and Tess are the worst.”

Me – What Mrs P and Mr P-R were saying outside our room. Also everyone else being upset upset me too!

Charlie Wilson – Really fancies Emma but she’s madly in love with Davis so he had no chance.

Gethin Turner – Everyone hinting at him being gay.

Davis – Anthony fancying Heidi.

I think that’s it. Basically, it was a particularly miserable night!


I also had a Carlsberg and a Hooch – 27th February 1999

Saturday 27th I’d have written last night but I got in from Freda’s sleepover (which I didn’t sleepover at) a bit late.

Yesterday, Freda told me that she’d heard the bitchy lot all say that if they kept quiet about the Steps concert, no-one would get suspicious. Too late people! She also asked Georgia Dean when it was and Georgia asked Lena if it was the 13th and Lena nudged Georgia and told Freda it’d been cancelled. Yeah right!

Freda also brought some photos of us all in yesterday and there was one with me, Emma, Olivia and Georgia on it. She said that Lena covered me up and said, “Now it’s a better photo.” Little bitch, as my mum put it!

My mum also keeps saying how disappointed she is in Emma and how she shouldn’t be going along with it all and how this situation shows up the weak ones of the lot of ‘em.

Anyway, I went to Freda’s last night until about 11:00pm. Hayley and I left early coz we didn’t want to be asleep all weekend coz she’s got to work and I’ve got coursework to do. There was Karen Brent, Sarah Llewellyn, Rani S, Lucy Jacobs, Cat Elliot and Freda (of course) there too.

Karen (surprisingly) supplied a loads of booze including a bottle of Bacardi which was pretty much empty by the time I had to leave, thanks to me. I drank it with coke and I also had a Carlsberg and a Hooch. [What a combo.] I seem to be okay this morning though coz I just went really giggly and not totally out of it.

[I think that might’ve been my first proper drinking experience. Not sure what happened to ‘I don’t like what alcohol does to peopleetc. I knew I’d caved eventually…]


She was giving him kissing techniques – 30th August 1998

Sunday 30th You know how I really didn’t want to go last night? Well, one I got there, I didn’t want to leave. It was really good and I ended up staying over at Emma’s.

There was a group of us all in the caravan. There was me, Emma, Suzanna [formally known as Suzanna the Slapper], Lauren Bradford, Ralph, Freddie, Mike Wardle and Drew Wardle. They were all pissed except me but I still had fun. Who needs alcohol anyway?

Ralph was annoying everyone. He fancied Lauren and was just pissing everyone else off anyway. Towards the end (about 3:30am) he was sat drinking, talking and smoking with a right bunch of saddos. The one he was getting along with most turned out to be gay. At least he pulled for once! He’s also that desperate for mates that he was acting like a slave and doing everything people asked him to. What he didn’t realise was that people were only sending him to get rid of him.

Suzanna and Mike Wardle were getting on very well. They were going with [snogging] each other all the time and she told me and Emma later that she’d been wanking him off too.

Emma was completely out of it and was going with Drew Wardle (who’s 19). He’d drunk a lot but was acting a bit more normal than everyone else. Emma also went with Freddie a few times but couldn’t really remember this morning.

Lauren was with me for most of the time. I was helping her avoid Ralph coz he kept trying to sit next to her and stuff. She went home quite early though.

Freddie, well, what can I say? He was pretty pissed too. He was getting really emotional and kept crying to start with. It was all about Emma and how much he still liked her and he couldn’t get over her and how she wasn’t helping by keeping snogging him and flirting with him.

He was also getting dead jealous of Drew. I had to stop him from barging in on them. He kept wanting to tell me about all this coz Emma advised him to talk with me or Suzanna. He said the same things to both of us over and over and over and over…

Towards the end, Freddie was getting very friendly with Martha Seymour (who’s 23) and they were talking a lot and she was giving him kissing techniques like telling him to kiss a lot slower. When most people had gone home, Freddie went round to the Seymour house to meet [snog] Martha. Twice.

We managed to get him back but we’re not sure what went on. He’s told Ralph that he shagged her and he’s told Emma that he nearly did but then the phone rang. I’m not sure which to believe.

Seeing as I was the only sober one, I found it quite funny watching everyone else not knowing what they were doing and making total fools of themselves. I also heard quite a few interesting things. I heard that:

  • Emma did actually go with [snog] Ralph in town when they were pissed one Friday.
  • Ralph fancies Emma.
  • I heard from Emma that Ralph said he still liked me and that the hate thing was all an act.
  • Freddie shagged Heather Newton that time when he drank too much Bacardi and would up in a field with hypothermia. (I reckon the Heather part was added in to impress Suzanna though.)
  • I heard from Emma that Freddie has asked her if she minded if he went after me.

I was getting on pretty well with Freddie though. Even when he sobered up a bit, he was having a proper conversation with me. I like Freddie, although I’m not too impressed about the Martha thing. Even this morning we were getting on and he seemed to find what I said was funny when I was taking the piss out of Ralph having pulled a bloke. Before he would probably have just stuck up for Ralph.

I can’t stand Ralph. He’s such a dick. Suzanna’s alright actually and she can’t stand him either. She described him as a purple, crusty carrot (PCC is Ralph from now on).

I’m tired now coz I’ve just got in from the Italian for Hayley’s birthday do and I didn’t get much sleep last night.