Totally unnecessary and totally pathetic! – 13th December 1999

Monday 13th The weekend has not put a stop to Hayley’s pathetic attempts to wind me up. This morning she was giving out Xmas cards very obviously by yelling the person’s name and stating that she had a card for them before flinging it across the room. Many came in my direction, some of which hit me followed by the comment, “Ha ha!! That was a good throw!” from the Twisted Bitch herself but none of them were for me. She didn’t give Lizzie one either. Sad cow!

Even though she’s not given me a card, I’m giving her one because otherwise it’ll only be an excuse to slag me off. If I didn’t then she’d make sure everyone knew about it whereas the fact she didn’t give me one will probably go unnoticed because I’m not going to make a big fuss about it.

She also had a dig at Lizzie in a room full of people today as well. A lot of people suspect that Gethin might fancy Lizzie so today Gethin said, “I don’t fancy you Lizzie.” Hayley heard this and yelled, “Oh well, Lizzie thinks everybody fancies her!” That was totally unnecessary and totally pathetic!

I managed to block the SIM card on Lizzie’s phone today by trying to guess the pin number one too many times. She was pissed off to start with but, unlike Hayley, was back to normal with me about 10 mins later. And people wonder why I’m better mates with Lizzie than Hayley! I was worrying about the phone all day because I thought she might not get it sorted but thankfully she did.

I saw the gorgeous Riley tonight. I’ve not seen him for ages because his family moved to a different area of his village but he was at the infants Xmas party at the primary school tonight. I went along to help my mum sort the kids out and he went to watch his brother who’s in my mum’s class. Riley’s still fit as ever!

I sent Brett a message today to do with the Zoe situation. It said, “HEARD ABOUT U + ZOE. SO MUCH 4 IT TAKING 18 MONTHS TO GET OVER LIZZIE! SO WHAT’S GOING ON? U SEEING HER OR WHAT? LUV TESS P.S. I DON’T REALLY CARE, I’M JUST BEING NOSEY!!”

I got one back from him later saying, “SHE TOLD ME IT’S GOOD THERAPY 2 MEET [snog] SOMEONE. IT JUST MADE IT WORSE. I STILL MISS LIZZIE EVEN MORE NOW BUT I CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. MY LIFE IS FUCKED, I SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE IT.”

So I sent him another saying, “YOUR LIFE IS NOT FUCKED! IT’S ONLY LIZZIE 4 GOD’S SAKE! YOU’RE RIGHT, U CAN’T DO OWT BUT U’LL GET OVER IT. THERE’S PLENTY OF OTHER GIRLS ABOUT e.g. ZOE. U LIKE HER DON’T U?” That may have sounded a bit harsh but he needed telling. Poor lad, I do feel sorry for him.

BYE!

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This will be a good diary to BURN – 12th October 1999

My Tuesday 12th Lizzie’s dumped Oscar. Poor little lad, he looked really upset. Mind you, it wasn’t exactly fair on him seeing someone else at the same time, even though he didn’t know it.

Lizzie and I actually phoned Brett last night from Old Trafford. He sounds okay on the phone anyway.

Even though Lizzie and Oscar are no more, Aled was still insisting we stay over at his on Saturday. We actually don’t really want to stay all night but we might go for a while.

Cat’s neck is covered in love bites. Oh, I said that yesterday! Well, she showed me today. It looks terrible – like someone’s tried to strangle her or something!

I’m probably going kickboxing at the leisure centre tomorrow night. Abby and a couple of her mates’ll probably come too. I’ve wanted to do it for a while because I feel like I’m getting unfit now I don’t do P.E. anymore and it may also come in handy for Sports Studies. I’ll see if I like it tomorrow, although I’m a bit nervous now because I’m not sure what to expect.

I need to see Trotter! I’ve not seen him for 4 days now except for a few seconds today when somebody opened the door to the pool room as I walked past. Sad, I know!

There are 3 new girls in our year now. I think I’ve come from a college in Warrington. One, called Diana, is in my Sports Studies group. The others are called Mariam and Tara, I think. I’m not sure what they’re like yet. I hope they won’t be a threat to my getting Aled, Trotter or Jake!

Zoe’s seriously considering asking Jake out. That’s not good!

BYE!

Cat’s Tuesday 12th She certainly HAS bloody noticed…

I was about to leave the house this morning when she said, “Still wearing a poloneck jumper, Cat?” I said, “Err… yeah…” and she said, “That mark on your neck not gone yet then?” I muttered “not quite” and scurried out of the house!

I told Mr D at break and he said, “Oh no! What’re you going to tell her?!” Good point – she hasn’t said anything else yet though.

(7:40pm)
He’s so nice – we get on really well cos we’ve got the same sense of humour, and he looks gorge at the moment…

The do seem to be fading… I just hope they’re gone by Friday when Dad gets back from his work trip!

Why do I get the feeling this will be a good diary to BURN very soon?

I’m going to find a new diary to write in soon anyway, maybe when I’m in town on Friday.

I had various offers of a snog – 11th & 12th September 1999

Saturday 11th I went to the cinema tonight with Karen, Hayley, Cat, Freda and Zoe to see ‘Never Been Kissed’. The film was alright but after the film was even better. We were all just heading out of the cinema towards McDonald’s when I looked over at a table and saw this really fit lad craning his neck to look at us and I lip read, “They’re fucking fine!” or something to his mates. These lads ended up following us outside and asked us if we wanted to go into a film with them. We told them we were going to McD’s and they were going to come with us but changed their minds and started chatting up someone else instead.

Then Zoe, Hayley and I decided we wanted to hang round the cinema instead but the other 3 went off to McD’s anyway. The lads came over to us again and started talking to us. They are from Rainhill and are all nice looking. We found out they’re called:

  • Rob – the one who said we were fine
  • Ste – who looked like a chubbier version of Ollie Bramwell
  • Craig – who looked like a short, hunched over Charlie Wilson
  • Matthew and another one that I can’t remember the name of.

They said they were 16 I think. I had various offers of a snog. One was from Matthew then Craig told me he fancied me and asked me if I’d get off with him (but he ended up getting off with Zoe) then Ste. Ste and Matthew didn’t actually ask, someone else did it for them.

I was considering it but didn’t in the end, partly because I was all shy because I wasn’t drinking (I think they had been) and partly because I had a phone call right in the middle of them asking me. It was a message from Rhian saying something about Duncan and his mobile. I couldn’t quite make out what she was saying and all the times she could’ve mentioned Duncan it was right in the middle of my considering going with [snogging] some other lad!

I actually regret not doing it now because I’ve got nothing to talk about and they were quite fit. Zoe’s got Craig’s number and says she’ll arrange to meet him again but I doubt it’ll happen really.

BYE!

Sunday 12th I went to the Trafford Centre this morning with the rest of my family in search of a pair of black trousers. I got some eventually. It was really busy because it’s the Trafford Centre’s first birthday or something so there were loads of things going on. I didn’t see anything much though except clown things on stilts which just gave me the creeps!

Rhian phoned this evening. I asked her about the message mentioning Duncan last night and she told me she was just asking if she should give him my mobile number. She said she asked him if he wanted it anyway but he said no. Oh well.

Loads of songs remind me of that holiday in Scotland, such as:

  • Better Off Alone by Alice DJ = Duncan
  • Bailamos by Enrique Iglesias = Rhian (I found out that bailamos means ‘we dance’ or something. Or so Karen says.) because she constantly played it.
  • Synth and Strings by Yomanda = Abby and Rhian because they kept making the high-pitched woofing sound in the background while it was playing.
  • La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin = Minne and Amelia because they danced to it at the talent show we did.
  • If Ya Getting Down by Five = Minnie because she kept singing and dancing to it.
  • Back Here by BB Mak = Duncan. I’m not really sure why but I was singing it all holiday and some of the words could be from his point of view.
  • Everybody but Backstreet Boys = Rhian, Abby and I dancing to it.

There are others but I can’t think right now what they are.

I’ve just been watching that ‘Sex, Chips + Rock n Roll’ on TV. That Joe McFadden’s pretty gorgeous!

BYE!

I saw one of the fittest lads I have ever seen! – 21st August 1999

Saturday 21st Mum, Abby and I went to Liverpool this morning. The reason behind us going was for Abby to do some Art research for school so we went in the Tate and Walker galleries.

In the Walker, I saw one of the fittest lads I have ever seen! He was tallish, tanned with gelled forward, darkish-blonde hair. I think he was called Daniel because some old woman was calling him over to her, although I’m not sure if that’s right.

After we left, I had a look round the shops for ages and I bought a pair of dark grey bootleg trousers and a light blue and white flowery top from Miss Selfridge. We were there for quite a long time in the end.

I think we got home at about 5:00 and Dad told me that Keira had phoned. I didn’t ring her back because I wanted to see what Hayley was doing first about this evening. I forgot about it in the end and took Rosie for a walk with Mum and Abby.

When I got home, Dad said Keira had phoned again and should be ringing around the time I got back. She didn’t and Abby wanted to use the internet so I rang her in the end. Robert answered and asked who I was (which is a bit embarrassing because he’s in (or was in) my form at school) but Keira wasn’t in. He said she’s gone out somewhere and that he’d give me the mobile number but he’d nicked it off her earlier. I just told him to let her know I phoned and we left it at that.

She probably went out with Emma which was probably why she was trying to get hold of me. It didn’t sound like there was a party going on when I was speaking to Robert either, although I could’ve been wrong. Anyway, I’d already decided I was going with Hayley.

So, this evening I ended up in The Plough. It’s a bit livelier than the Sports Club, I have to say! We saw this bossy cow, Amber Watson, out of our year in there but that’s it and I don’t think she saw us. I wasn’t there long coz we went in quite late but I quite enjoyed it. There’s a lot of rather nice looking lads who go in there too!

I kept forgetting that I’m not actually single, until I see couples together and I keep being reminded and thinking that it should be me and Duncan. That’s another reason why I might have felt guilty about going to the party, if there’d been some lad there and something had happened. Not that it’d be likely that Duncan’d find out but I can’t see him doing that to me so I’d feel guilty, especially seeing as it’s only a week since he asked me out. Maybe in a month or 2 when I’m bored of not having a lad and an opportunity comes along then maybe I won’t feel so awful. Actually, I probably would!

I think I’ll write to Duncan soon seeing as he seems to be making no effort to keep in touch. A letter’d probably be best because phoning’s way too expensive and e-mails would only be read by other people. I’m just worried he’d think it was sad to write letters, although he said he’d write to me. It doesn’t look like he’s going to so I’ll have to make the first move with this one. If I do, he’d better reply to me!

BYE!

Maybe it’s got something to do with the eclipse – 16th & 17th August 1999

Monday 16th I hate saying goodbye. It was awful when we had to leave this morning. I really struggled not to cry when I said goodbye to Auntie S and my cousins and Grandma L. I also kept thinking about how I wasn’t going to see Duncan for ages. Anything could happen between now and then too.

On the way out of Wick, we saw Dunny in blue overalls on a skateboard but he didn’t see us. I wanted to see Duncan as well but I didn’t get chance.

I really do like Duncan and it was horrible watching Wick get further into the distance knowing he was there and I wasn’t going back for ages.

I’m at the Royal Dunkeld Hotel now. I got a bit upset before but I managed to control myself before anyone saw me. I’m really missing him. I liked having someone to hold hands with, cuddle etc.

This holiday has been one of the best I’ve ever had. The bad thing was those girls but one of them even apologised. Maybe it’s got something to do with the eclipse.

Right, I’ll go and think about Duncan now so…

BYE!

Tuesday 17th I’m back at home now and it’s so boring. It’s way too quiet not having Tom and Minnie running round and squealing and I really want a cuddle off Duncan.

I keep remembering things like how Duncan said he nearly asked me out on Thursday just before we went home. Rhian and Abby said he looked like he was about to speak to me before we went that night. That must’ve been what he was going to say to me.

Also the ‘Strong’ song by Robbie Williams is going to remind me of Chin now because we met them for a second time on Wednesday night and he kept singing, “Are they real or are they fake? Oprah Winfrey, Ricki Lake” all the time we were there and it took ages before any of us realised he was referring to Rhian’s chest!

Another song that reminds me of that holiday is Bailamos by Enrique Iglesias off the Wild Wild West album because Rhian was constantly playing it.

I’ve been told that Ashley Ewart has done or is doing trials for Ross County because he’s meant to be really good at football. Abby’s quite please about this because I think she likes the image of being a footballer’s wife!

Oh yeah. Another thing I’ve remembered is that on Sunday night, Duncan and I were walking hand in hand down by the river and a car went past blasting out Better Off Alone. [I should’ve taken the song’s hint.] We both sort of commented on how good that tune is but I was thinking it was weird that out of all the songs in the world, it was that one playing as the car drove past us.

We saw Mrs P (an ex-headteacher of our primary school) and her husband at some service station today. She came over to chat and wished me luck with my exam results. It’s too late for luck though really. That’s another reason I why I didn’t want to come home – getting my exam results and going into 6th Form College at school.

I don’t want to do A Levels anymore, I want to do something different and interesting that I enjoy, not sitting behind a desk, stressing about more exams of which the results can affect your whole future. Then again, I really want to do Physiotherapy and I need A Levels for that.

Anyway, I really just don’t want to be home and back to bloody normal. I miss everyone way too much and I didn’t have as long with them as I usually do. Also I miss more people this year. I really want Duncan. I don’t think I can stand waiting until Christmas before I see him again. And everyone else for that matter.

BYE!

The Bitches have sunk so low – 25th February 1999

Wednesday 25th The Bitches have sunk so low this time.

Lena came up to me at last break and said, “Tess, I’ve got something to tell you. You know the Steps concert? Well, my cousin phoned last night and told me that the seats have been double-booked so we don’t know if we’ll be able to go anymore. He said he’d let us know but if we can’t get the seats then all they can do is apologise and give us a refund. We’re all really pissed off about it. Sorry about that but I’ll let you know.” [TRAGEDY! (That was a sarcastic Steps reference, in case you’re wondering. See video below for details.)] Then as soon as she said it, Hayley gave me a look and nudged me, mouthing, “I’ll tell you later”.

We walked over to the rest of them where they’d all just been talking and laughing amongst themselves until we arrived. Then they went all quiet and miserable-looking and they started talking about how unfair the Steps thing was.

That was when I started to get suspicious coz it all seemed so convenient. Plus, before she came over to me, Lena went to Emma and quickly spoke to her about summit so maybe Emma was telling them all to look pissed off.

Then after school, Hayley told me what she wanted to tell me earlier about Lena in French. She’d been saying how excited she was that there was only 2 weeks until the Steps concert. If it’d been true what she said about her cousin then why would she have been excited?

It may all be true but the way Lena said it all seemed very planned. Plus the fact that Georgia Dean (who has been the only one being really nice to me and Hayley) is the only one out of that lot not going. So if they give me my money back, Georgia can pay them and have my ticket and, as long as they keep quiet about it, I can’t find out.

Well, if they are lying, they’d better not think I won’t find out. There’s 2 weeks to go yet (if it’s still on) and one of them is bound to slip up in front of me or Hayley. If they don’t then I’ll phone Emma on the night the concert should be on and if she’s there I’ll ask her about homework. If she’s not, I’ll ask whoever answers the phone where she’s gone and what time she gets back.

I just can’t believe anyone could be so cruel as to do that though. I s’pose I’ll soon find out if it’s true or not. If they’re lying and I find out, it’ll be them that’s in the wrong, not me. They did it to Hayley with The Corrs concert too but they got away with that coz she dropped out voluntarily. I can’t kick up a big fuss though and yell at them all coz then it could get turned round on me. So I’ll tell people but not make it obvious to them.

BYE!

There was this really fit trombone player – 14th-16th February 1999

Sunday 14th  I did a concert at the RNCM in Manchester today with Swing Band and then we went to see their band. There was this really fit trombone player called Paul Bright or summit. Actually, there were quite a few that weren’t bad.

I got to hear all about Emma’s night out yesterday from her. She told me that she went with [snogged] 8 people (slapper!) and that it was really good fun and it really boosts your self-esteem. She said that bit like I should try it. Well, I would if I ever got asked anywhere. I felt so left out again.

Yet again though, Emma was being pretty normal and I was getting on pretty well with her and she was showing me the Valentine’s card she was sending to Davis Nolan and stuff like that. There’s such a big difference in the way she acts around me on her own and how she is with the rest of them. It’s really frustrating too coz I really want to comment on it but I know it probably wouldn’t do me any good.

My mum made me feel even worse in the car on the way to take Grandma S home coz she kept pointing out places in Manchester where she used to go out. It would have been okay but then she told me that she was my age when she did that.

The fact that I have a big lack in my social life, Emma going out everywhere and my mum saying that has made me feel really great. NOT!

BYE!

Monday 15th I got my Food project back today. Mum asked Mrs P about it last night and she said that the school would be open today so we went down and luckily my coursework was still there in the blue box. I’ve just got to get round to finishing it now!

BYE!

Tuesday 16th P. [Period]

I went to the Trafford Centre with Hayley today. I enjoyed it actually and I spent over £100! I bought:

– a bluey-grey skirt
– black knee-length boots
– black shoes
– 3 CDs which were Britney Spears ‘Baby One More Time’, Lenny Kravitz ‘Fly Away’ and  Offspring ‘Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)’
– a bottle of CK Be
– a lip gloss

I think that was it anyway.

We’ve also been offered a job for Friday night. Hayley just went off to see who was in the snooker room at the Sports Club but she was gone for ages. I was just about to go and find her when she came back and showed me some business card. She said the lady at the food bit had called her over and asked if she and a mate (me!) wanted to do some waitressing on Friday night from 6:30pm to 10:30pm at Greenhalgh’s in Stockton Heath. She said that she’d take us and drop us at home afterwards.

So, Hayley said she’d let her know after she’d asked her parents and me. She was really unsure and didn’t really want to do it but between me, her mum and my mum she got persuaded into it and Lyn (the woman who asked) said she’d ring Hayley with the details tomorrow. She also said that Ste Rollinson (the year above us) and someone called Rob and Chris were doing it too. It could be a Rob from school but we’re not sure.

BYE!