I feel unfit! – 24th to 26th April 2001

Monday 24th Sarah, Lizzie, Karen and I all went for a drive in Karen’s car during our frees today. We went all over the place, saw a pub called Fiddle I’th Bag and Mesnes Park and The Blue Bell which we all found amusing! We got lost and ended up in Wigan! We skived Geography/Maths too.

I felt a bit miserable before cos everyone seems to be going to the gym and I feel unfit! I really want to go kickboxing again but I’m scared that weird numb thing will come back or get worse again. I’ve decided to try a few exercises myself to see how it goes then I can choose how much I do rather than a bossy bloke at the front of a hall. I did warm ups (jogging on spot etc.), 50 sit ups and 30 leg lifts. Ouch!


Tuesday 25th I’ve decided to go back to kickboxing, maybe in a couple of weeks so I can build up to it properly myself. I did warm ups again, 50 sit ups and 30 leg lifts.

I saw Jake this evening. We just lay about and I found he’s got a ticklish neck if I do it gently! 3 happened and my arm went pretty tingly.

Connor and Abby didn’t get to kickboxing cos as they were driving over the speed bumps, that twat scally, Jav, kicked the side of the car and left a big scratch down it and then ran after the car. They stopped at Evie’s to ring the police. They probably won’t do anything though unfortunately.


Wednesday 26th I had to go to a Sports Studies revision conference at Salford Uni today. There were lots of lads there which kept Lizzie happy but it was sooo boring!

I finally finished my bacteria coursework for Biology this evening! I’m very proud cos it’s taken me weeks to get my head round it and I finally have done. Yey! 🙂

I didn’t do any exercises tonight. That was partly cos I couldn’t be bothered but mainly cos my legs went quite tingly after the short walk to the minibus. It hasn’t been doing it as much on short walks until now. I’m worried again!


“Biology sessions” – 22nd & 23rd April 2001

Sunday 22nd I still keep getting those dizzy, rushing, weird feelings at night. 😦 It’s kind of like when something makes you jump and the rushing feeling you get. I don’t like it! I remembered today that Sarah said she gets weird hallucination-y dreamy things when she’s half asleep too! I get them all the time so I’m glad I’m not the only one!

Jake came round again today. We were talking about uni and he says he’s really looking forward to it. He was also talking about the house we could have one day and stuff too! 🙂 He sent me some messages last night about “special cuddles” and said “practice makes perfect” so we’ve got to practice lots! 🙂


Monday 23rd Last night’s messages consisted of stuff about “biology sessions” and how he’ll have to help me with certain parts of my revision! Somehow I don’t think much work would get done… not of the school kind anyway! Jake says he wants to do stuff on Friday night if we can. I want to but not really in my house with my family around.

I didn’t see Jake at all today cos I was at college and he was at home or at the gym in town. He did phone at about 6pm though which was nice of him.

Cat told me today that Mr L has a new victim. It’s Ellie Linton in Year 10… she’s only 15! He is such a pervert!

Cat said she’d spoken to Ellie about it. Ellie said he rang her about passports for the Russia trip and ended up telling her she was beautiful and what he was doing to himself (jerking off)! He’s sick!!

Ellie’s really upset by it cos he’s been her form tutor for years and she had confided in him about stuff and he used to play with her hair and stuff. Creepy! She feels like he’s been sort of bringing her up as some little plaything. I feel so sorry for her!



Saturday 21st Jake came round today and apologised again for last night. He kept saying, “I love you” too! 🙂 We took Mollie for a walk up the back of The Crow cos we can’t go round the fields cos if foot and mouth. He said, “You’re the best” and hugged me lots and told me I’m his best friend too and he doesn’t know what he’d do without me. 🙂 I think he’s my best friend too and I’d be pretty unhappy without him.

I found out some horrible things today. Mum told me that Dad shot some of our hens cos they kept fighting, our little black hen (Titch) got eaten by a fox while she was protecting her nest and, the worst of all, my duck (Squeak) got killed on the road! She was apparently flowing the lad from next door and got hit 😦 He cried!


[Me & Titch]

I got very upset when I found that out. I wasn’t very old when I had her (about 8 years old) but I loved her. Next door found her as a duckling but couldn’t keep her cos they had Sheba the cat. So they gave her to us. I adopted her and she thought I was her mum! She always followed me around and sat under my jumper. She ate sloppy Weetabix and once got drunk when Dad left alcohol out to kill slugs… which she ate!

Tess & Squeak

[Me & Squeak]

Apparently it happened when we were in Scotland. She used to go over and talk (quack!) to the man across the road and that’s where they think she was off to. It made me cry a lot today cos they’d always told me she flew away and was probably swimming around on the pond at the garden centre. Mum said she’s buried in the garden somewhere.

Connor, Abby, Jake and I ended up in Knutsford this evening. We went in search of a pool table, had one game in The Railway before going to the Mangoletsi place where Connor got his car from. We left pretty fast when he heard “PLEASE LEAVE IMMEDIATELY” over some speakers! They must’ve have thought we were nicking cars or something!!

We then drove past Hugo’s house and I shone my torch on it but we now know there was no-one in cos we saw him and his family walking down the road. Connor reversed quickly and they gave us a funny look so Jake hid and I shined my torch at Hugo! Ha ha ha!!!


What does he expect?! – 20th April 2001

Thursday 20th A group of us did The Run tonight. It was all okay until Jake was talking to some of his year in The Woodman and the rest of us waited outside. Cat suggested hiding round the corner for a laugh but Jake didn’t find it very funny. He sat on a bench and when I tried to apologise, he shoved me out of the way. I was actually quite embarrassed cos he did it in front of everyone and I nearly fell over. He didn’t push me hard, I was just a bit pissed!

So, we both ended up sulking and didn’t speak. When we got to The Grey Hen, he just got up and left cos we still hadn’t said anything. I felt guilty then so I got Cat to ring him to find out where he was. He said he was walking home so I spoke to him and told him not to be so stupid and come back. He did and we sat by the old station while everyone else went in The Mossland.

We talked for a bit and apologised about the hiding and pushing thing but I could tell there was something else wrong. Eventually he told me that I care too much about what my friends think and that tonight I seemed more concerned with them than him. He said it’s not the same as before he went.

What does he expect?! I made new set of friends while he was away in the form of College 1s. I explained to him that I’m just trying to keep everyone happy but I’ve obviously not got the right balance between him and friends cos he felt neglected. If I paid more attention to him though, my mates would go all moody on me. I don’t want that either. I thought I was managing okay but he obviously feels my attention for him in lacking somewhat.

I got upset and explained I didn’t do it deliberately (apparently I was doing it before we fell out). He then got upset too cos he’d upset me! That meant we made up though. 🙂 He said he hates falling out but it’s really nice when we make up afterwards! I agree!


I don’t think Mum was too keen on them – 19th April 2001

Wednesday 19th I went to Manchester with Cat today and I bought my really cool trainers! 🙂 They look something like this:


I think that’s a fairly good likeness! Yes, I’m proud of those pictures! 🙂 I don’t think Mum was too keen on them when I was wearing them before but I think they’re great! They’re really bright and really comfy!


[The only picture I can find of me wearing the horrible trainers. I was at Noss Head Lighthouse in Caithness where, thankfully, very few people will have witnessed them.]

I really wish I had more money cos I saw so many nice clothes too. Most were in the O’Neill and Quiksilver shops, in which case they were VERY expensive!

We trekked round all day trying to find Cat a bloody hooded jacket with a zip but we didn’t find one until Gap which was the last place we went in. I was pretty fed up by then.

We missed a train home so we had to get one to Warrington so the bloke made us pay an extra £1.15! Rip off!! Cat’s mum was going to pick us up but ran out of petrol so we had to get the bus home. It reminded me very much of Tuesday!

We went in Affleck’s Palace while we were in Manchester. It’s so good in there! I’ve walked past it before but it looked scary so I never went in but I like it now!


She shot us some filthy looks and carried on – 18th April 2001

Tuesday 18th I had a driving lesson today. It went okay other than when I went backwards first when doing a 3-point turn!

I also got this letter from Michael Amhurst this morning. →

18-04-01 Michael letter to Tess envelope18-04-01 Michael letter to Tess


[My looooong draft reply was in the same envelope…]

18-04-01 Tess letter to Michael page 118-04-01 Tess letter to Michael page 218-04-01 Tess letter to Michael page 318-04-01 Tess letter to Michael page 418-04-01 Tess letter to Michael page 5

I hope she wasn’t there. Grrr! – 16th & 17th April 2001

Monday 16th I went to Manchester on the train with Jake today. He got 2 packs of photos back from Canada and we had a minor fall out cos I went all “funny” with him when he got the photos out. I couldn’t help it! He had photos of girls dressed up as cowgirls and stuff which didn’t help but I was just generally feeling left out for some reason.

He got upset in the middle of St Ann’s Square so we ended up making up cos we both felt guilty. He said he’d rather be here with me and that Charlie and Abbi were just nice to him and were the only ones who talked to him about me. I got a wave of jealousy to begin with cos I should’ve been the one talking to him (not about me, obviously!) but now I just want to know what was said!

Jake bought 2 shirts and a pair of short things and I saw the best trainers ever in Shellys! I want them sooo badly but they’re £50. They were so cool! [They weren’t.]


Tuesday 17th I went to the Trafford Centre with Jake today to see Bridget Jones’s Diary at the cinema. Sarah and Cat were meant to come too but Sarah let us down at the last minute so Cat didn’t want to come on her own with us. The film was really good but not quite true to the book. I suppose they couldn’t get everything in the film though.

We managed to find Sarah a birthday present too and a card so that was handy cos we probably won’t get another chance to get her anything before next week now.

We got the bus back to the train station near Jake’s BUT the bus didn’t actually stop there cos nobody else was getting off and we didn’t press the buzzer! There were no stops until Warrington after that so we had to get off there. I rang my mum but she made us get the bus home.

Jake got off early to go to The Beech Tree with Ventures. I wasn’t very pleased at that (but I let him) cos I found out from him today that Hannah R fancies/used to fancy him. I hope she wasn’t there. Grrr!

I keep having funny far away/dizzy moments like I did when I was ill again. I had them at the cinema and whilst trying to sleep last night. Weird!