I always felt really guilty afterwards – 3rd February 2000

Thursday 3rd Sarah and I sneaked off to the Trafford Centre today after 2nd lesson (we had frees for the rest of the day). We sneaked because we didn’t want Lizzie to come with us due to the fact she’s a total pain! She’s been nasty to Sarah for ages (although I don’t think she realises sometimes that stuff she says hurts her feelings) and she’s snogged Gethin (who Sarah fancies) loads of times even though she knows Sarah likes him and she repeats herself over and over and over just to make sure everybody knows whatever it is.

I did feel a bit guilty about leaving Lizzie behind but we had quite a good day. I bought a Celtic pattern ring and a black fleecy thing. We saw Ralph Christopherson too! I used to be really good mates with him and he really fancied me and I sort of liked him like that too but nothing ever came of it. He turned into a bit of a prick though and left school to go to a catering college. He was working in FT5K though today. He stopped and did say hi.

I’ve just found out that, at LA Bowl tonight, Lizzie snogged Gethin again. Hayley rang me and told me and I’ve just had a text from Freda saying, “HI. LIZZIE IS SUCH A WHORE WITH NO FEELINGS!” I took it that it was Lizzie and Gethin that triggered that off. I mean, I’ve snogged lads drunk and I always felt really guilty afterwards. Lizzie’s always sober, never seems to show any sign of a conscience and goes on about what happened in graphic details in front of anyone and everyone!


I’m a bit worried that he thinks I actually fancy him – 1st February 2000

Tuesday 1st Hayley told me this morning that, on the phone to Andy last night, their conversation had got onto their mates. First he asked her which of his mates she’d like if he wasn’t around and then she asked him the same question. Apparently he said, “That one you’re always with is nice.” She asked if he meant me and he said he did. That was quite a nice start to the day!

I received a text from Zoe this morning which said, “WILL U DO ME A FAVOUR? IT’S REVENGE AGAINST REEVESY!” I sent her one back asking why and what exactly she wanted me to do. She replied, “JUST WIND HIM UP! HE’S BEEN SUCH A BASTARD 2 ME! JUST SAY U LIKE HIM OR SOMETHING.”

I nearly didn’t do anything because I thought it’d be a bit mean but then I got bored in a free lesson so I texted him. I didn’t put anything serious though. I said, “HELLO! JUST THOUGHT I’D TEXT U + DECLARE MY UNDYING LOVE 4 U! ROSES R RED, MY UNDERWEAR’S BLUE, I’D TAKE IT OFF, JUST 4 U!! LOVE TESS xxx”. I didn’t expect a reaction but I got one. He sent me a text back saying, “YEH, LUV U 2”.

I got bored again after lunch so I phoned his phone to see if it was switched on then I’d know if he could get more messages. I forgot to do 141 before dialling his number though so it wasn’t anonymous. I got a text later saying, “I’M IN LESSONS + CAN’T TALK RING ME AT 1. REEVESY”. When I didn’t ring at 1:00 he sent a text saying, “FONE ME” so now I’m a bit worried that he thinks I actually fancy him. Believe me, I don’t!

This evening, the whole family and Mollie (our Scottie dog) went to visit my Grandma S. to check she could work her new fire. It’s Amir’s birthday today (he’s 17) so while I was there I sent him a text saying, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! (DON’T WORRY, I’M NOT STALKING U! LIZZIE TOLD ME.) HAVE FUN! LUV TESS xxx”. Later, I got one back saying, “CHEERS!” I don’t know why but it made me smile. [I fancied him, that’s why.] I suppose I didn’t think he’d answer but he did.


Dad’s in the next room muttering, “Suits you, Sir” – 29th & 30th January 2000

Saturday 29th What a night!! Over the last hour I’ve had to try and control my family, basically because I’m the only sober one tonight.

Abby went round to her mate Alice’s house this evening and told Mum she’d be getting a lift back with someone else but, after Mum’d had a few glasses of wine, she phoned up and said she couldn’t get home. Mum got really, really mad with her so Abby got really, really upset and I was handed to phone to try and calm her down.

As I was explaining to Abby how to order a taxi, my mum decided to walk to Alice’s village to collect her. I talked her out of it so instead she decided she’d drive. I was about to try and stop her when Dad staggered through the front door. He’d been to this ‘Bent + Bongs’* beer festival around Atherton way and was totally and utterly pissed!

While I was trying to explain to Dad what was going on (which took a while because of the state he was in!), Mum managed to slip out of the front door and drove off to collect Abby. This meant I had to ring Alice’s to try to tell Abby to cancel the taxi. She was still crying and pissed off with Mum for making her come home because her mates might have been going to a party.

Within the space of that 10 minute phone call, Dad had put the same cup of coffee in the microwave about 5 times. When I came off the phone, he’d lost it somewhere between the toilet and kitchen!

Mum was taking quite a while to get home so I was getting a bit worried that she’d been stopped by the police or had driven into a field or something. Eventually she got back. Abby stormed upstairs and Mum stormed into the kitchen to be welcomed by Dad telling her she was gorgeous and his best mate and kissing her. I had to go out of the room! Yuk!!

Everyone seems to have calmed down a bit. Dad’s in the next room muttering, “Suits you, Sir” and stuff. I don’t think he’ll be feeling at his best tomorrow morning!


*[I probably need to explain Bent and Bongs…

Bents – A local name for the town of Atherton. Once upon a time, part (or maybe all) of the town was called Chow’s Bent and the Bent bit stuck locally.

Bongs – A local name for the town of Tyldesley. Once upon a time it was called Tildsley Banks. Banks became bongs because of the way people pronounced it there. Or something like that.]

Sunday 30th Nothing much has happened today. I’m just noting down that I’ve come off the Minocycline tablets [to treat my 50 million spotsfrom today.


I’ve reached my full potential – 28th January 2000

Friday 28th I was informed by Hayley and Lizzie at college today that at bowling, as I bent over to bowl, Stuart Hobbs said, “She’s got a nice arse!” Also, Freda is said to have agreed with him! She probably did because she’s been pretending (we think!) that she fancies me for a while now! Why did it have to be Stuart who said that? He’s a geek! Just my luck! [I was desperate for geek attention a few days before!]

I went to the cinema tonight with Lizzie, Cat, Hayley, Emma, Gethin and Big Paul. We went to see the film ‘Stigmata’. It was a bit weird but quite good. Afterwards, Emma, Gethin, Big Paul and I went back to Emma’s village. Gethin went home but the rest of us went in The Plough for a drink. Emma and Big Paul are sort of a couple so I was actually quite glad when Stuart and Brian Short turned up.

We got talking about Valentine’s Day and somehow got onto the subject of Patrick Campbell. I was then told by Stuart that Patrick used to ‘have a thing’ for me and was always saying that I had really nice eyes.

Later on, a large crowd arrived from The Dog which included my sister. She’s going to be embarrassed tomorrow because she started talking to Pallav, Jez and Robert (who are in my year) and then telling them all she fancies Powell Manning who they’re mates with. Ha ha ha!!! It serves her right for getting drunk!


P.S. Just remembered – Emma was saying how my hair looked nice and she said that this American lad, Davis Nolan, agreed. She said he’s been saying for ages that I had serious potential to look good and now I’ve reached my full potential. Nice of him to say so [hmmm], it’s just a shame he’s not someone I fancy as usual!

It’s nice to know I have that effect on somebody! – 27th January 2000

Thursday 27th 


Tessa Jane Simpson
Aged 17
17th diary

Well, I’ve got a new diary but I’ve not got much new to write in it.

I went to LA Bowl this evening with Lizzie Bond, Cat Elliot, Freda Fernandez, Bridget Linehan, Zoe Carrera, Hayley Pearson, Chloe Gomez, Denzel Chadwick, Stuart Hobbs and Julian Olsen. It was so boring! I didn’t really want to go in the first place because I’ve been so much recently but Hayley talked me into it in the end.

If I hadn’t have gone, something interesting would’ve happened but seeing as I went, nothing did! I got a score of 137 on a game of bowling and the people who are on some league team commented how good it was but that was about the only thing that happened.

This lad called Andy Winston who Hayley’s kind of seeing (and don’t we all bloody well know it!) turned up with his mates and she went off with him. That kept her happy but the rest of us were bored stiff!

There’s one lad called Reevesy who used to go out with Zoe but dumped her because he fancies me, and the other night I rang him up and sent him a text message from my phone apologising for waking him up (see 16th diary). Well, Zoe told me tonight that he was really chuffed when I rang (I didn’t even say much!) and even more so when he got my text message. It’s nice to know I have that effect on somebody!


P.S. Recently, I’ve also been sending texts to a lad called Amir who swims with Lizzie. They were just mess-about ones saying I was in love with him and stuff. He sent some back too. Anyway, last night he was talking about it and he’s decided I’m a bit mad. Great, I bet he thinks they were serious! I think I might just stop sending them now!

Everyone seems to have a geek fancying them….. except me! – 25th & 26th January 2000

Tuesday 25th Okay, I knew Hayley not annoying me wouldn’t last long and today just proved I was right.

This morning, Andy wasn’t answering his phone. That could’ve been for any number of reasons e.g. the ring volume was off or it was in another room to him. I told Hayley this but she wasn’t having any of it. She’d convinced herself that he hated her because she wouldn’t go very far with him on Saturday night which is why he wasn’t answering his phone.

I reminded her that he hadn’t been picking it up yesterday morning either and that she spoke to him at lunchtime but she wouldn’t take my advice to try again later on in the day. Instead, she started going on about how she didn’t know what she’d do if he hated her so she’d have to kill herself. Great, that’s all I need, a suicidal friend!

I told her to stop being daft, pathetic and paranoid and to just take things as they come and she stopped….. for about 5 minutes! Until the end of lunchtime I had Hayley asking me, “Do you think he hates me?” every 5 minutes. I think she was just looking for reassurance but she wasn’t half getting on my nerves! If she carries on like that again she won’t get chance to top herself cos I think I’ll resort to strangling the girl!! She really does go over the top sometimes. She needs to chill!

Everyone seems to have a geek fancying them….. except me! Sarah’s got Floyd, Freda’s got Chris K-B, Hayley’s got Henry Rockwell and now Lizzie’s got Denzel Chadwick. That doesn’t do much for my self-esteem when I haven’t even got a desperate little geek fancying me!


Wednesday 26th I think I’ll go on to my next diary after today. It’ll be a pink one with a bee on it.

I went to the doctor after school about my skin. I’ve been on Minocycline tablets for about a year and Dr O’L’s decided I should come off them for a while. It’s a good idea really but I’m just worried my spots’ll come back again.

Apparently Amir’s on tablets to clear up his skin and they’re working. He’s back from Paris now. They day he went I sent him a message to see if they worked when you’re abroad and Lizzie said he got it but couldn’t send one back.

Floyd’s really obsessed with Sarah. He keeps asking my advice on what to get her for Valentine’s Day. He’s so sweet. He says he’d do anything for her. His mum told him to ask her out but he’s too shy.

Kickboxing was dead good again tonight. We had a different instructor but I still really enjoyed it!

I saw Jake Taylor today. He’s so fit! I really like him at the moment. I wish he liked me but I doubt it’ll happen because it hardly ever does.

Andy might be moving to Germany with his uncle. This news has left Hayley gutted and suicidal.

?Mark sent me a message today. It contained stuff about Andy being a geek and Hayley being sad and desperate. I found it quite amusing!



Why does he have to be going out with Jac? – 21st January 2000

Friday 21st  I went to Hayley’s village tonight with Hayley, Cat and Sarah. We started off in The Coach and Horses but didn’t stay long because there were a load of people who we don’t really like in there and they wouldn’t serve us. So we went on to The Dog. It was so much better in there.

My sister and all her mates were in The Dog so we just sat with them. It was full of fit College 2 lads playing pool e.g. Jackson Leeming and Niall Pilling. I had to put up with Danny Barnes and Jacqueline though. Danny was being dead nice to me though. Abby was pissed and embarrassing herself and he kept sympathetically smiling at me. Later on he also asked how my sister and I were getting home. Why does he have to be going out with Jac?

Hayley ended up getting upset because Andy didn’t turn up. I can’t say I blame him though. He didn’t know where he was going and he’d have been with a load of people he didn’t know. He could’ve given her more notice though. It left the rest of us having to put up with a miserable Hayley, which isn’t good.

Later on we all went on the The Plough. The 4 of us weren’t there long cos Cat tried to get served but they wanted ID and told her she couldn’t stay on the premises without it. They saw me with her so they said the same even though I wasn’t getting a drink. The woman who told us was Hayley’s next door neighbour which didn’t help. I was sooo pissed off. If I go in there again I’ll just have to avoid the bar. We might well make this a regular thing because it was quite good anyway.


P.S. While we were waiting for a taxi, I phoned Reevesy cos I was bored. The conversation went:-

Reevesy: Hello?
Me: Hi, erm… you’re not Rachael! Who is this?
R: It’s Reevesy.
Me: Oh, hi! Sorry, you’re number’s just next to Rachael’s in my phone. Did I wake you up?
R: Yeah but it doesn’t matter. I’ve got to wait up for my parents. I just fell asleep on the couch.
Me: Oh, sorry. I’d better go. Bye!

I also phoned Stoned Rob for the same reason. He didn’t answer his phone though. Someone called Gaz did.

Hayley lent me the video of The Grimleys cos Emma, Ed, Pallav, Bobby and a few other people I know were extras in the school assembly on it. I think the episode was called ‘Gold Star’ or something.

I think I actually like him – 20th January 2000

Thursday 20th Amir’s gone to Paris with his college for a German trip (confusing!) or something. I’m actually quite bothered. I don’t understand it! I think I actually like him. He’s quite sweet! Mind you, that is just going from text messages!

Floyd Miller’s obsessed with Sarah. It’s really sweet but she’s gone all scared now. He even did his hair this morning to try and impress her and he says he’s going to send her a Valentine’s card and present. Aaahh!

Sarah and Lizzie and I went into Warrington today. We saw Freddie Bevan AGAIN! We also saw Stoned Rob. We phoned him again in the bus station and we spoke to him then. He said that Reevesy still fancies me. He also said it wasn’t him who sent the “PHONE ME BABE” message but he won’t say who it was.


P.S. Lizzie said that Amir always listened to music like ‘Bonkers’ and she reckons he’s got the one I’ve got. [Oh, Jesus Christ. I’d forgetten about Bonkers. Horrible.] She also told me that he’s doing German, P.E. and psychology for his A-levels.

“Tess Simpson! Go and wash your mouth out with soap and water!” – 19th January 2000

Wednesday 19th I had my most embarrassing moment this afternoon. I don’t know if I can write it so it sounds as bad as it was but I’ll certainly try.

At last break, I went up to the common room to find Sarah saying to Cat, “I really want to tell someone!” Cat agreed so I just had to know what it was. I mithered Sarah about it for 10 minutes until I began to get somewhat nearer to finding out what was going on.

I found out that Karen had confessed something unexpected of her in a game of ‘Truth or Dare?’ so I began to guess. Karen was behind me so whenever I came up with an idea, I turned round and asked her e.g. “Have you lost your virginity to Floyd Miller?”

I’d just asked Karen something and I turned back to Sarah after being told I was wrong and Sarah gave me a huge clue. So, I turned round and yelled, “Karen, did you wank someone off??!!” only to be faced with Mrs L about 3 feet away from me!!!

The room was full of people, all of which went deadly silent, waiting for a reaction as I slammed my hand over my mouth. Mrs L eventually said, “Tess Simpson! Go and wash your mouth out with soap and water!”

The whole room erupted into fits of hysterical laughter as I collapsed in a heap of embarrassed giggles on a chair, being thrown disapproving looks from Mrs L. It was awful!

Since then, people who weren’t in the room (of which there were very few unfortunately) have been asking me about it. Everyone seems to know! Cat made sure she told Mr L and Mr P-K about it at the dry ski slope after school too. They just found it very amusing!

I have an extremely swollen shin too because of a less but still embarrassing moment as I fell of a chair. I was stood, dancing about on one and it tipped up and I smashed my shin against the edge of the table. Owww!!

I’ve also set a trend with my ‘Roses are red’ poems. Everyone’s making them up and writing them on the white board. Some are:

Roses are red,
Big Paul’s built like a tank,
Ed wants to give Julian,
A really good wank!!
(Ed asked Julian if he could wank him off a week ago!)

Roses are red,
Gethin best watch his pace,
Or Lizzie’s big head,
Might explode on his face!!
(That’s a really snidey one but it was only sent in a text message to Sarah cos Lizzie’s being a bitch to her constantly.)

Roses are red,
Lizzie needs a good kick,
Someone we know,
Has a maggot for a dick!!
(That was about Aled cos everyone says he has no thing!)

Roses are red,
Fat, greasy and ginger,
That Big Paul,
Is such a minger!!
(Aimed at Cat to put her off him cos he’s seeing Emma so she’s got no chance.)

Roses are red,
Sarah L costs 10 pence,
Cat wants to ram,
CKB on your fence!!
(The 10p was cos Julian said if she was a prostitute that’s what he’d pay. CKB’s Chris Kelly-Banks if you’re wondering. Not the fragrance!)

I had a message from Stoned Rob (Lizzie’s new stalker is now called that cos he looks stoned) saying, “Phone me Babe.” I’m worried!


I’d told her about 50 million times – 14th January 2000

Friday 14th My first text message of the day was quite a nice one from ?Mark. It said, “HELLO DARLING, HOW’S MY LITTLE GEM? I’VE JUST WON £300 IN WORK – NICE BIG PISS UP TONIGHT THEN!” The thing is that I think it was actually for Sarah.

I skived my first 2 lessons today. I missed Miss P’s Sports Studies lesson because they were doing a surprise practical lesson. We were going to do it for a Xmas treat but the teachers have only just managed to organise it. I didn’t fancy doing it so I went to the primary school to help my mum.

I missed Mr B’s lesson too cos that’s also Sports Studies and he’d want to know why I hadn’t been in 1st thing. I found out later that they’d had a game of kibadi (if that’s how you spell it!) [it’s not] because every lesson, someone manages to mention it. It’s become a bit of a joke.

Freda was really, really pissing me off this afternoon. She was in one of her lesbian moods and kept hugging me and stuff and saying disgusting things! She actually texted me an apology later this evening.

Floyd Miller now fancies Sarah. He’s gone off Karen now, you see!

Hayley, Sarah and I went to LA Bowl (AGAIN! AAARRGGHHH!!!) tonight. Andy and ?Mark came too. Stu turned up for a while but left again with his girlfriend. I really honestly don’t care much.

I talked to ?Mark most of the night. He, Sarah and I were finding it really boring but Hayley wouldn’t leave. We intended to get the last bus home so we could go in The Coach and Horses or somewhere but Hayley whinged until we gave in.

The taxi was booked for 11:00 pm but when it came, Hayley and Andy had disappeared. We rang her and she said she was coming but she took at least 5 minutes. So, Sarah and I were pissed off with Hayley and ?Mark was pissed off with Andy.

Hayley was annoying me on the way home because she kept apologising every 5 seconds and asking if I was speaking to her even though I’d told her about 50 million times that I don’t do not speaking. Sarah and I have decided we’re going to the pub next weekend, with or without Hayley.

?Mark’s alright actually. He looks like a bit of a scally but he’s okay really.

I sent Amir a message cos I was bored. It said, “HI AMIR! HAS LIZZIE TOLD U? I’VE DECIDED THAT I REALLY AM IN LOVE WITH U BUT THAT MIGHT JUST B COS I’VE BEEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF BOREDOM! C YA. LUV TESS X J” I didn’t get a reply. I hope he wasn’t insulted by it.