Maz has a blue knob – 11th May

Friday 11th A group of us just went in a few of the pubs on The Run [a pub crawl] tonight. We started in The Dog then went to The Woodman then The Grey Hen (from which I ended up with a Tetley’s ashtray in my bag!) and then The Green Dragon. I decided to go in The Dragon because I wasn’t the only one going in who’d fairly recently quit. Cat and Denny also handed in their notice not so long ago so it was a kind of safety in numbers thing, just in case we saw the evil managers.

Cat and I tried to get Sarah a blue condom out of the machine in the toilets as a joke (cos apparently Maz has a blue knob) but we only got a red one and a yellow one. I gave the yellow one to Jake but I don’t know what he did with it. Cat kept the other one.

When we went out of the The Dragon, I laid all the signs stood on the grass face down on the floor in the hope that they’ll lose business because I think it was advertising a quiz night or something!

It was quite a good night and a cheap one too because I got pretty pissed on only 4 pints of diesel! 🙂 I’m not really sure what was good about it, it was just a funny night e.g. some guy in The Dog had a really strange curly wig which kept us amused for ages by just looking at it!

Jake came back to mine afterwards and we just lay on the floor in the dining room. Nothing happened because his taxi came.

Bye!

I’ll probably end up like her (great!) – 8th & 9th May

Tuesday 8th Eww!! I found out at college today that during Denny’s party on Saturday, Cat gave Floyd a blow job ON THE STAIRS!!! They must have been pissed because you just don’t do that! So many people walked past them and mustn’t have realised but the most disturbing part (which explains the ‘eww’ at the start of this entry) is that I spent quite a lot of time sat talking to people under the stairs so they were directly above us! At least Lizzie and Gethin went on a “walk” to do things like that!

Haha! Sarah said she heard noises at Cat’s house after the party and she said it was definitely Jake’s voice! I said I didn’t know what she meant and he was probably just dreaming but I don’t think she believed me. Oops!

Bye!

Wednesday 9th I had quite a lot of free time in college today but instead of revising, Karen took me, Lizzie and Sarah for a drive to relieve the boredom. We went all over the place and got completely lost down some country land near Antrobus, I think it was! We also saw a sign saying we’d entered the Borough of Macclesfield at one point!

On the way back, we took a detour through the south of Warrington to find Maz’s house who is a sort-of-ex of Sarah’s. She’s never seen his house before so we thought we’d go and check it out. We thought it’d be big and posh like most of them in that area but no, it was a scruffy little flat thing with overgrown hedges and peeling paint. Maybe that’ll go towards convincing her to get over him!

I saw Jake after college and we went to watch the bungee jumping that was going on at The Green Dragon pub across the road. We sat on a bench opposite because I used to work in that shithole and therefore did not really want to go in. It looked awful! I’d take a lot to get me ever doing it!

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When we got bored of watching people chickening out/wetting themselves, we took Mollie for a walk. Mum had gone out so I also made our own tea. Jake stayed a bit later than he normally would (and talked about what he’d want to buy if we had a house!) because we were waiting for Abby and her boyfriend Connor to get back from kickboxing because Connor offered to give Jake a lift home.

Mum got a bit annoyed with me and Abby after Jake and Connor went because she wanted to go to bed, I think. However, Abby couldn’t give a toss and went and shut herself in her room so I was left with Mum on my own so I was the one who got yelled at again.

Mum even admitted that it wasn’t particularly me she was annoyed with, it was more Abby because she shut her bedroom door and could’ve been doing anything in there with Connor. I continued trying to apologise and she started saying how I never do anything to help like walk the dog or make the tea (WHAT?!?) and then went to yell at Abby.

Abby told Mum she was pathetic and started swearing at her and stuff which made matters worse. Mum locked herself in the bathroom and was banging about a lot which scared me cos she was being really weird. I got really upset and kept saying sorry and Mum started saying things about nervous breakdowns/mid-life crisis/stress.

She eventually calmed down but told me that if I get so upset now, I’ll probably end up like her (great!) and unfortunately I can kind of see that! She calmed down more and said I’ve not got to take everything on board because I’m not the selfish one.

I spoke to Dad afterwards and he said that I’ve done nothing wrong really and we won’t be able to say/do anything right at the moment in Mum’s eyes. He was really chilled and made me feel better, especially when he laughed about Mum saying I’d end up like her! He kept telling me not to worry but I can’t help it. I don’t want a mental mother! I’ve got to stop getting upset so easily though.

Bye!

His vision was probably blurred with tiredness – 6th & 7th May

Sunday 6th Hellooooo!!! I thought I’d be different and write in orange for a change because it’s nice and bright after writing in black or blue all the time in college!

Welcome to my 22nd diary. That’s quite a lot of diaries I’ve written now!

Anyway, I didn’t really do all that much today because I was at Denny’s 18th birthday party last night and didn’t get much sleep! My boyfriend Jacob Taylor (who will either be known as Jake or J, depending on how much time/energy I’ve got to write!) came to my house this morning but he was tired too because he’d been at the party last night too and we both slept (or not!) on Cat’s living room floor. So, we just got into my bed today and slept for quite a while. We both woke up at various times and had a cuddle and kiss and stuff (his hands wandered!) before we got bored of lying around and took Mollie out for a walk round the field behind my house.

When we got back again, we were worn out so we just watched TV all evening so as to conserve energy! He kept telling me I’m gorgeous (his vision was probably blurred with tiredness!) and said he loves me lots of times! 🙂 Well I love him too!

Bye!

Monday 7th It’s a bank holiday this weekend so I didn’t have to go to college. 🙂 I should really have stayed home and revised for the exams that are looming in a few weeks but it’s been a really nice, sunny day so I didn’t really feel like staying indoors with giant folders of A-level notes. So instead, Jake and I went for a bike ride. We went up the road towards Liverpool and somehow ended up back in Cat’s village. I didn’t have a clue where I was until then!

We finally made it back home and I was just about to go and flop on my bed when Mum asked us to take Mollie for a walk. We just took her round the field again and there were loads of rabbits but Mollie could only smell them because she’s too short to see them over the grass!

When we got in we just lay about (knackered!) on my bed and watched TV and cuddled. He kept telling me I’m beautiful and said I’ve got nice shoulders! I don’t know where that came from! He kept telling me he loves to too. 🙂 Mmm. I like hearing that.

I’m really happy with Jake at the moment. To be honest, it all seems too good to be true sometimes! I get really scared sometimes that something’s going to go wrong and spoil it. I don’t know what I’d do so I hope that doesn’t happen.

Uhh, Mum’s just had a go at me because I asked if she could give me a lift home from college tomorrow. That’s all I said but she completely flew off the handle and started going on about how she’s got 3 things to do already tomorrow (work, take my sister to the Parr Hall for a Young Enterprise thing and see Grandma S).

I said it didn’t matter and I’d just walk home but then Abby shouted at me that there’d be no room in the car for me anyway cos her friends were getting a lift. Mum didn’t know Abby had volunteered her as a taxi but it was ME who got yelled at again! I ended up getting upset because that wasn’t fair that I got yelled at, just because Abby didn’t stick around.

Bye!

The aim was to pop her water bra – 5th May

Saturday 5th Before Denny’s party, Lizzie, Sarah, Cat, Karen, Jake and I all went to Brett Massey’s party. He lives near Ikea and is an ex-boyfriend of Lizzie’s but she recently got back in touch with him and he invited her to his part with the instruction to bring as many girls as possible! Desperate!!

It was pretty weird actually cos there were mostly people who I didn’t know, some that I used to talk to when Lizzie was with Brett and my ex-sort-of-boyfriend, Leon Farrell. I have to say, he has improved a bit but his girlfriend was a bit ming! That pleased me cos Jake is pretty damn gorgeous if you ask me! 🙂

I don’t want to sound full of myself or anything but Leon did keep looking at me! I felt kind of smug though cos I had Jake cuddling me all the time and he had his girlfriend this who wasn’t. Anyway, we didn’t stay at Brett’s long. We just drank all his alcohol, said goodbye/thanks and left!

Denny’s was a top party!! There was everybody there, no Hayley or Lena or any other bitchy people, loads of nice food, music and his lovely big house!

Denny's birthday

Nothing really major happened, everybody just stood/danced around and chatted drunkenly at each other. Emma and Freda were searching for Karen with a corkscrew and the aim was to pop her water bra but she wasn’t wearing it!

Suzie told me that I’m one of those “sickening people that always looks good”! I don’t agree but I like Suzie even more now! 🙂

Gethin got really pissed on absinthe and took Jake out to the stables for a chat. He apologised for feeling him up once and told him that I’m a really good friend cos I’m so honest and stuff! 🙂

A few of us got into a discussion about whether hand size indicates penis length and Jake reckons it’s about right cos we measured across his palm from wherever you do it from (can’t remember!) and it was about 6 inches. He reckons his is about 6.5 inches.

Tess & Jake

While Gethin was pissed, he said he was imagining me naked. Yuck!

Freda said I remind her of Holly out of Casualty!

Jake and I stayed at Cat’s house and as the night progressed, some stuff happened.

I’d better go! I’ve run out of room. See you in the my next diary….. it’s a red one this time.

Byeeee!!! 🙂

Fireworks between the sheets – 2nd to 4th May

Wednesday 2nd Cat told me that Mr L’s been suspended. It serves him right! She said there’s also the possibility of police involvement because of Ellie.

I saw Jake after college. We just talked, mainly about the future actually and me maybe being Tessa Taylor one day! I’m not too sure about that!

He did a face reading thing on me out of FHM which tells you what your features say about your personality. Mine went something like:

  • Full lips = Pleasure orientated and have exciting sex life
  • Small ears = Sensitive about own health and unlikely to have unprotected sex
  • Winder nose = More fireworks between the sheets and more emotional
  • Larger eyes = Open-minded in bedroom and willing to break taboos
  • Overall = More imaginative and likes mental stimulation as well as physical. Ideal partner would be very caring. Sex has to be emotionally satisfying and prefer to take things slowly at first but perfect techniques in the long run.

Apparently that’s a mixture between Sarah Michelle Geller and Reese Witherspoon.

Hmmm. Most of that revolved around sex but then it is in a bloke magazine! Some of it is true though!

Bye!

Thursday 3rd Mr L’s been suspended pending inquiry but teachers and pupils are being told he’s got food poisoning!

Jake phoned me today cos he was bored. So was I!

Bye!

Friday 4th Nobody was doing anything tonight because we’re all going to Denny’s party tomorrow. However, Jake and I didn’t want to stay in so we went to the Trafford Centre and saw The Mexican at the cinema. It was really good actually.

Bye!

So much for not even wanting to snog him!! – 1st May

Tuesday 1st I found out today the reason as to why Floyd has been grinning so much every time last Friday gets mentioned….. Cat apparently ended up giving him a hand job in the back of the minibus on the way home! So much for not even wanting to snog him!!

Speaking of Cat, she went to her form tutor (and English teacher), Mrs D, today about Mr L. She decided to do something about it because of how upset Ellie had been and she didn’t want him to pick out any more victims. Sick bastard! Ellie agreed to give her story and Cat was pretty upset cos she felt guilty about doing it. Me and the rest of her friends had to constantly reassure her that she had no reason to feel guilty cos he knew the consequences and tell her she was definitely doing the right thing.

Miss C was the next teacher who got involved because it’s her who’s in charge of sorting problems like Cat’s out. She went to Mr C (headteacher) and told him about Cat and Ellie. Surely there’s no way Mr L can get away with it with more than one person involved and the evidence of emails and texts.

I saw Jake after college today. I spoke to him at lunch and saw him briefly ride past college on his bike. He phoned me to see if I could meet him but I had a lesson so I couldn’t. We then decided that we REALLY wanted to see each other so he came on his bike to my house.

We took Mollie for a walk and came back and cuddled and stuff! He kept saying I’m beautiful and smiley and pretty and cute and said he likes the expressions I have sometimes cos he thinks they’re cute. He told me he really started liking me after he had a dream about me! It was something along the lines of me lying in a field which was spinning round! Hmm. He also thought I was a nice smiley person too. 🙂

Ahh, he said that in Austria when Emma (who he had his first kiss with on the ski trip there when he was in Year 11) snogged Freddie Bevan on the coach, he cried! Poor thing!

Bye!

Wearing black balaclavas and pretending to be tadpoles – 28th & 29th April 2001

Saturday 28th I was with Jake all day today. 3 happened this morning but I’m still confused about last night and it was probably the real reason behind me getting upset so easily when my sister went a bit bitchy about going in the shower first.

It’s Sarah’s actual birthday today so me, her, Michael and Jake all went to see Bridget Jones’s Diary (again!) at the Trafford Centre cinema.

I got some messages off Jake when he went home which made me feel a bit better (but I’m still confused) about last night. One said. “ : ) HEY! I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH! I’M SORRY FOR KEEPING YOU AWAKE! I THINK IT WAS MORE THAN WORTH IT THOUGH! : ) I JUST GET FRUSTRATED COS I WANT TO STAY IN YOUR BED. I WOKE UP AT 7AM + COULDN’T GET BACK TO SLEEP COS I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO WALK THROUGH MY DOOR! I LOVE FALLING ASLEEP CUDDLING YOU + WAKING UP NEXT TO YOU! J xJx”.

Bye!

Sunday 29th Jake came to Mum’s school with me, Mum and Abby today to help make a pond in the corner of Mum’s classroom for the children to go underneath and play in wearing black balaclavas and pretending to be tadpoles! It looks really good!

This evening my state of confusion disappeared after the exchange of texts with Jake. 🙂 They weren’t very nice to start with but got better. Here goes:

  1. “Well I enjoyed it! Sorry I won’t bother in future! : ( Let’s face it – there’s not much chance of us having fun with them! x”
    (Last part was referring to Manchester and my mates.)
  2. “I’m so sorry! I just seem to be upsetting you all the time at the moment! : ( I always say something horrible or manage to upset you even more when you need cheering up! I’m a crap boyfriend! + I don’t know how you put up with me! I love you more than anything in the world + I’m so sorry! Please text me when you get credit. x”
    (I did have credit! Ha ha!!)
  3. “You said it continued to be a bad night! How do you think that made me feel? It put me off too!”
  4. “Noooo! : ) I wasn’t disappointed at all! I didn’t know what to do?! Don’t think that! Love you! : ) xJx”
  5. “ : ) I want to be with you now! : ) Anyway, I’m really sorry if I gave you the wrong impression – I certainly wasn’t disappointed! I love you! : ) xJx”

Finally! That’s what I needed to hear! He’s actually pretty considerate! I bet most lads wouldn’t think twice about upsetting me! Ooh, I love him!! 🙂

Bye!