He is a complete and utter bastard! – 21st March 2001

Wednesday 21st
2 weeks + 1 days to go!

I went back to college today. I felt better but I was a bit tired cos my left leg and foot went a bit tingly for no apparent reason while I was trying to sleep so I lay awake worrying for a while!

Uhh, Cat’s been brainwashed by Mr L into thinking he’s God again. They were chatting on the internet last night and have decided to be “friends”. Silly cow! It’ll all end in tears again cos he is a complete and utter bastard! She arranged to meet him after college in the History department and the words “store” and “cupboard” were mentioned. That was the scene for the action last time. I suppose we’ll find out what happened tomorrow.

Jake phoned at about 7:20pm tonight. He phoned me later cos he wanted the morning to decide whether to do Level 2 or not. He is going to do it. He says he’ll only be able to phone me at his lunchtime for the rest of the week now cos he’s going to be shadowing some instructor which means getting up early. He says he’ll only be able to phone me later, if at all, sometime next week as well when he’s doing the Level 2 thing.

It was a really bad line tonight. I could hardly hear him most of the time cos he just sounded really quiet and muffled and kept breaking up.

Red phone

He gets home on Friday 6th April. That’s okay thought cos if he’d have come back on the 5th, I probably wouldn’t be haven able to see him anyway and it’d be frustrating knowing he was just down the road but I couldn’t see him. He said he definitely wants to see me on the day he gets back.


P.S. Lou in Neighbours has done something to a nerve in his back and he complained his legs were tingling (as well as pain though). I know it’s not really but still, it kind of reassures me in a way about my legs.

Today’s emails →

21-03-01 Jake email21-03-01 Tess email

I might skive college – 20th March 2001

Tuesday 20th
2 weeks + 2 days to go!

I stayed off college again today cos I still wasn’t feeling quite better this morning. Sarah texted me after she finished college and told me that I didn’t miss much.

I’ve had a few emails from Michael Amhurst recently. He seems interested in Jake’s Beetle and kept asking me stuff about it but I haven’t got a clue what the answers are!

Jake phoned me at about 4:35pm today. He told me it might be the 6th April that he arrives home on, not the 5th like we thought. He’s not sure but he says he’ll find out today. We’ve decided anyway that if he does get back on Thurs 5th, we don’t want to meet in front of our families or in a bus stop or anything so we’ll wait until the Friday and I might skive college to see him cos we’ve got more chance of being alone then. He said he doesn’t mind coming out on the Friday night as long as he gets to see me on my own first because he doesn’t know how he’ll react so doesn’t want loads of people being around us.

He doesn’t know if he’s going to do his Level 2 assessment thing cos it’ll cost him an extra £250 to do it and he’s not entirely sure that he’s good enough to pass.

He kept saying that he wanted a hug and that he’d still love me even if I was paranoid! He said that cos I’d read an email that he sent Cat saying I was paranoid about the photos he’d put on his wall of me. He admits that it wasn’t the right word to use though. ‘Annoyed’ would’ve been more like it!

He went on about how he was watching S Club 7 all day on TV with his mates so I told him about Ioan Gruffudd being on the Westlife video!

I jokingly asked him if he’d gone off me at all, seeing as he hasn’t seen me for nearly  weeks but he said that not seeing me for so long has had completely the opposite effect! 🙂 Good!


Today’s emails →

20-03-01 Jake email20-03-01 Tess email


They’re all really “close” – 19th March 2001

Monday 19th
2 weeks + 3 days to go!

I stayed off college today. Mum wouldn’t have let me go in even if I’d wanted to cos she says I might infect everyone and I need rest anyway. I don’t think I was really up to going in anyway. I still felt really light-headed and had no energy this morning. I couldn’t get to sleep last night though. I kept needing a wee and having to get drinks cos my mouth was really dry.

Jake phoned me at about 4:30pm today. He wasn’t going skiing cos he says he’s too tired. He said he had a good time at that place he went to yesterday cos they were the only people there pretty much. He told me that he was speaking to some bloke who’s been to Barcelona and he apparently said that the part where our hotel is is the nice area.

Jake said if he had to choose, he’d rather go to Barcelona with me then have me go and visit him in Canada. When I asked why, he said that he wouldn’t want me getting suspicious cos they’re all really “close”. After he said that, he kept apologising cos he realised it sounded really bad! He told me that he just meant that he does want to see me but wouldn’t want me to be disappointed or have a bad time like this other lad’s girlfriend did. He said she sort of got left out cos she didn’t know anyone else. He assured me that I have no reason to be suspicious at all! He then kept saying how much he wants to come home and that he loves me. I should hope so! 🙂


Today’s emails →

19-03-01 Jake email19-03-01 Tess email


I feel horrible! – 17th & 18th March 2001

Saturday 17th
2 weeks + 5 days to go!

Uhh, I was sick about 5 or 6 times during the night last night (I lost count!) so I hardly got any sleep at all. I’m sooo tired now. I had stomach ache this morning too but I seemed to have been keeping everything inside me since then. I’ve just sat about watching TV or lying in bed all day cos I’ve just got no energy and I feel really dizzy and get a throbbing head when I move. 😦 Not very nice!

Jake phoned me at about 4:15pm so I had to sort of crawl to the phone to stop myself falling over! He’s not skiing today because he’s going to that Kicking Horse resort tomorrow so is having today off instead. Unfortunately, it was a really bad line and I couldn’t hear him properly so he had to say everything about 3 times. I hate it when that happens cos he really does sound far away. He says he thinks he’s getting a cold and he really wants a cuddle, even if I am ill.

I feel horrible! 😦


Today’s emails →

17-03-01 Jake email17-03-01 Tess email

Sunday 18th
2 weeks + 4 days to go!

I still feel pretty rough today. I’m really tired and my neck and ribs are really, really stiff and sore. I can hardly move!

Nothing has happened today at all. It was just another day in front of the TV for me.

Jake didn’t phone cos he’s at that other place skiing today and had to get up really early and doesn’t get back until late. He said he’ll still be able to email me though tonight.


Today’s emails →

18-03-01 Jake email18-03-01 Tess email

I downed a pint of diesel – 16th March 2001

Friday 16th
2 weeks + 6 days to go!

It’s Red Nose Day today so a group of my mates went round collecting money for a ‘Shavathon’! If we raised over £100 for Comic Relief then Floyd would shave his legs, Isaac would shave his beardy thing off and Denny would shave his chest hair! We did manage to raise much more than that so they’ve promised they’ll do their shavings over the weekend!

I’ve got a bit worried again cos now the top part of my left foot seems to have lost some sensation too. It’s not completely numb and I don’t notice it all the time but it’s still enough to trigger my worrying.

We got our Geography module exam results back today. I’m really pleased cos I got a high B in the exam I took in January and an A in my coursework project! 🙂 Unfortunately, Sarah didn’t do so well so I felt a bit guilty smiling when I got my result. She got a B in her project but completely failed the exam. She said she knew she hadn’t done particularly well but didn’t think she’d done that badly.

She got all upset so Mrs C let her leave the lesson. I got to leave too so I could comfort her, I suppose. She was okay after a while cos, even if she fails all her summer exams, she’ll get an E which is at least a grade. If I fail all my other exams, I’ve got a D already which I could live with but hopefully that won’t be happening.

Jake phoned at about 4:30ish today. He said he’s really pleased for me about my Geography. He was saying how he’s not bought much while he’s been there except for a pair of shorts to play football in but he says he’ll get me a present for when he gets home.

He was telling me about how he was skiing with an instructor nicknames ‘Hollywood’ cos he’s been on TV and in Britney Spears videos and stuff. He said all the girls were really jealous and were asking questions all the time about him cos apparently he’s a bit of a babe!

We started talking about when we first see each other today and where we’re going to meet and stuff. Jake says he doesn’t want to meet in a public place really cos he’s probably going to cry when he sees me. That’s so sweet!

A big group of us did The Run [a pub crawl] again tonight but with a difference. Seeing as it’s Comic Relief, we took our Shavathon collection bucket with us and to attract a bit of attention, a few of us wore school uniform. Sarah was driving which I was pleased about cos if there were loads of pervy old men then we could drive away quickly and get changed!

Sarah ended up giving a select few of us lifts between pubs and, not surprisingly, they were all lads apart from me. At one point in The Mossland car park, there was me, Sarah, Robbie, Drew and Gaz S waiting for the others to arrive, just sitting in the car. I can’t remember how it came up but Robbie said he’d be up for going with [snogging] me or Sarah if I wasn’t going out with his brother or something! I think he was joking! He then started saying stuff about me being his future sister-in-law!

I was having a pretty good night until I got back out into The Mossland car park. There, I was just suddenly sick. It was horrible! Luckily, only Sarah was with me (I hate being sick anyway but it’s worse if loads of people see it!) so she dropped me off at home. I’d felt slightly queasy all night but not ill so I was a bit shocked at being sick actually. I tell you, I’m never going to be able to eat coronation chicken again! [I never did and I never will. Even the thought of it still makes me feel sick.]

I thought I might’ve been sick cos I downed a pint of diesel (not the stuff you put in trucks!) but then I did start feeling dizzy and hot and cold once I got home. I was sick again before and I’ve got a bit of stomach ache and back ache on my ribs, especially where that lump is on the right of my back but it could just be cos I was throwing up before. Yuk!


Today’s emails →

16-03-01 Jake email16-03-01 Tess email

I was so flustered and embarrassed – 15th March 2001

Thursday 15th
3 weeks to go!

I was a bit insulted today when I read the email Jake sent me today. It’s the way he kept saying how awful that photo was! I didn’t think it was that bad, you see, so I said Cat could scan it and send it to him if she really wanted to. It’s not the best picture ever but it’s not THAT bad. It’s just close up, that’s all!

Run - Tess, Suzie, Cat in field

I’ve seen worse photos of me than that one! Mind you, when I went into his Hotmail inbox and check out the email with the picture, it had turned out to be huge so I suppose that didn’t help!

I had a really crap Biology lesson today. I’d only done half the homework and what I had done was wrong because I’d been looking at the wrong page in the text book. We spent most of the lesson going through the homework so whenever Mr S asked me a question, I either didn’t know the answer or got it wrong.

He then told me that he wanted to see me after the lesson and everybody heard him so I was really embarrassed by that! I was already embarrassed by the fact I couldn’t answer anything and I could see everyone thinking I must be thick or something! Brainbox Cat then started trying to ‘help’ me by finding the right page and plonking it in front of me but that just showed me up even more! I just hate being the centre of attention in class!

At break, I stayed behind and blagged my way through a reason as to why I hadn’t done the homework properly. Mr S seemed to believe me but by then I was so flustered and embarrassed and annoyed at myself that I burst into tears as soon as I got out of the room. I managed to compose myself again pretty quickly though, ready to face the questions in the common room about what’d happened and stuff!

Jake rang at about 4:40pm today. We talked about uni mostly cos I sent off my final decision today. I put down the Environmental Science with Geography sandwich course at Huddersfield Uni as my firm choice and declined the rest. I asked Jake whether he’s going to put down mixed or single sex accommodation when he has to choose. He says he’s going to ask Matt Carrera (his mate that’s already there) what he thinks is best but is thinking he’s probably going to put all lads. I’m not sure. Lads could be a bit of a pain to live with (but so can girls!) but all girls could get bitchy! I’ll decide nearer the time.

We’re halfway down the hill now! Only a quarter of the time left to go until he comes home!



Today’s emails →

15-03-01 Jake email15-03-01 Tess email

The other thing she plans to do is make fake cum – 14th March 2001

Wednesday 14th
3 weeks + 1 days to go!

Floyd and Nell are no more! I don’t know what’s happened but they’re not seeing each other anymore. Apparently he was quite upset about it but he can’t seriously have thought it’d last seeing as she’s a lesbian! They were still talking to each other today at least.

Sarah was saying that Hayley has got her first lesson with a new driving instructor tomorrow. She says it’s not out of choice but because her old instructor stopped phoning her! She’s been having lessons every week for over 18 months now so her instructor must have got sick of her! I’d better not take the piss too much seeing as I’ve just started having lessons myself!

Hah! Cat’s planning various ways of how to get revenge on Mr L! She have him a letter today, seeing as he’s not reading her emails and if she doesn’t get an apology from him about everything that’s happened recently then she’s going to panic him a bit!

Firstly, she’s printed off a picture of Bill Clinton and written “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” underneath. Then in tiny, tiny writing underneath that, she’s typed Mr A. L, March 2000”! She plans to stick the picture where he’ll see it and every time he takes it down, she’ll replace it!!

The other thing she plans to do is make fake cum! The idea popped into her head when she realised that’s what her facewash looks like but it smells too clean. She then went on the internet and found a recipe on how to make it out of egg whites and condensed milk and stuff! She’s going to squirt some around the History office so he’ll worry, thinking he hasn’t cleaned up after himself properly!

Jake phoned me at about 5:05pm today. He said he’d ring at 4:30 but I wasn’t worried when he didn’t cos he mentioned in his email that it was someone’s 18th last night. I assumed he was still in bed and I wasn’t far off cos he’d got up late which was why he rang when he did. He only had 20 mins left on his phonecard so we couldn’t talk for very long anyway.

He said I’ve got to get pictures of everyone on Friday if we dress up for Comic Relief, especially of me if I dress up as a cowgirl or schoolgirl! He asked why I’d dress up as a cowgirl now but not when he was here. I told him I don’t know but I think it’s just cos I know he’s got a “thing” for cowgirls and I’d feel a bit funny dressing up as on in front of him unless we were alone cos other people know he likes them too and they’d think I was doing it just to turn him on or something!

I also told him that Michael Amhurst seemed interested when Sarah and I mentioned us possibly doing the schoolgirl thing. He then went all sort of protective saying he doesn’t trust Michael or any other lads for that matter!

He was also telling me about how his new ski group is much better than his old one but didn’t really say much else. He said he just likes to hear me talk and giggle, even if he hasn’t got much to tell me himself. 🙂


Today’s emails →

14-03-01 Jake email14-03-01 Tess email