She had spew hanging from her hair – 19th January 2002

Saturday 19th  It was Jonas’s “party” tonight. Oh what fun it was. NOT!! So much for a party. There were 4 of us there – me, Jonas, Russell and Cat. It wasn’t Jonas’s fault though. I was witness to him inviting people and them replying saying they’d come but nobody did.

Due to Jonas expecting rather more than 4 people, he made a rather large magic chocolate cake with rather a lot of magic illegal substance in it. We all ate some and got stoned but Cat wolfed down more than the rest of us and it had rather a negative effect on here.

She was fine to begin with and she and I were just giggling about a song (Robbie Williams Me and My Shadow when it sounded like he says “Happy New Year, ming…”) and a card I bought with the caption “Harry failed to become a Beanie Baby” over a photo of a rather unattractive animal of some sort.

Then Cat started throwing up really badly and said her heart was racing and she was scared. She kept asking me to do something but I didn’t know how to help. Jonas ended up phoning an ambulance on Cat’s request (I think it was a slight over-reaction to be honest) and they turned up outside the house. The paramedics were very sharp with Cat but I don’t blame them really cos if Cat had just have laid down and slept it off, I’m sure she wouldn’t been fine. I got to go with Cat but felt incredibly guilty cos I’m sure there were proper emergencies which needed an ambulance much more that Cat did.

When we got to the hospital, we were sat about for ages. I got the impression Cat was feeling a bit better but didn’t want to admit it cos she felt stupid for wasting people’s time. She kept gagging and stuff but wasn’t actually chucking much up. She tended to do it more when nurses and people were there too.

There was one doctor that was really nice (probably cos she couldn’t complain!) and Cat was put on a heart monitor thing. I also felt a bit funny (like my heart was going way too fast) but I didn’t say anything cos I thought it’d just go away. It did eventually.

We got a taxi back to Jonas’s afterwards (after trying to convince the driver Cat wouldn’t be sick, even though she had spew hanging from her hair). Jonas kept apologising and said he didn’t think we’d come back.

While Jonas was trying to sleep, I started freaking him out by whispering “Oi!” a lot. I also found out that he’d put loads of stuff in the cake cos he was expecting lots of people to eat a bit of cake each, not a few people to eat loads!


The penis measuring chart in the kitchen – 18th January 2002 (continued…)

Friday 18th  This evening I had a shopping trip to Sainsbury’s so I could feed Cat when she arrived. She’s my mate from home who’s on a gap year and is bored so decided to come and visit me. Cat arrived at about 6:30pm, brought by her parents. They decided they wanted to come in and see what it’s like here so I desperately tried to conceal my posters of my ex-P.E. teacher, Mr P-K, and the penis measuring chart in the kitchen, but failed.

Once Cat was settled in, we went up to the Arbar cos there was a belated New Year’s Eve party on. It was really busy and quite good cos some of my flatmates (Layla and Violet) came too with their mates. Cat managed to fall flat on her face in front of loads of people when exiting the toilets but other than that, we had fun.

However, when we got back to my room and tried to sleep we were faced with 2 things preventing this:

  1. We were both sleepy but our brains were racing due to drinking nothing but VK all night and therefore filling out bodies with caffeine.
  2. Layla (in the room next to me) was also very pissed and was having very loud sex with her boyfriend on the other side of the wall.

I talked to Violet tonight which I haven’t done for a while. Either she hasn’t been here or I haven’t so I haven’t seen her as much as I used to. She said I’ve missed loads, such as Layla now going out with Baz (the one she was having loud sex with) as well as Col (boyfriend of 2 years who I thought Baz was earlier) cos she doesn’t know how to dump Col. Baz apparently thinks she had done though.

Vi also said Marc (lad in my flat who told me he fancied me) thinks I don’t like him. I’ve no idea why he thinks that. I’ve not seen him for a while either but that’s no reason, I’m sure. Oh well, I suppose I’d better speak to him more or something.


He reckons I’ve got the “magic touch” – 17th & 18th January 2002

Thursday 17th to Friday 18th  Hello! 🙂 Just to update, I am now at Huddersfield University and sat writing this in my room at Storthes Hall Student Village thing. I’ve just finished my first lot of exams here and my lectures don’t start again until 4th February so I’ve got a nice bit of time off now with no work or anything to do. Yey!

So, seeing as I’m FREEEEEE I went out with some of my mates into Huddersfield. We started off at the Arbar at Storthes then got the bus into town and went to Milton Hall (Student Union bar) and the Rock Café. I was with my coursemate Jen but then met up with my lovely boyfriend Jonas when we got off the bus. We ended up pretty pissed and spending the rest of the night in Bar Non where there were a few other people off my course (Ben, Rick and Sally) so that gave us more people to talk to.

I think Jonas was pretty drunk to cos he kept tickling me and kissing my neck when I was trying to speak to people. I didn’t mind much but I think it made my mates feel a bit gooseberryfied!

Jonas’s housemate Russell was out too and he was being a bit of a prick. He was obviously pissed/on something and was talking complete crap at me. I could barely hear him over the music but what I did catch him saying was slurred bollocks. I sort of nodded and smiled at him but he suddenly started shouting at me that I made him feel really small or something. Right.

Jonas got texts off his coursemate Sid later saying he wants a “manly chat” without me around at the party Jonas is having on Saturday. I’m assuming I’m not wanted around cos some of the conversation is about me. Jonas kind of said so anyway.

Jonas stayed over at mine after going out and I had another night of being questioned on various stuff about myself and my past. I found out stuff about him though too. He said he regretted having sex for the first time cos it involved a lot of pain and blood, both of which were his. He also said that even though girls have tried everything, none of them could satisfy him completely except….. ahem….. me! 🙂 He reckons I’ve got the “magic touch” and I seem to know what I’m doing.

Once we were up and dressed we got the bus down to uni. We went on the internet to check emails and stuff and then I went on to do some personality test things. Jonas did the Sex God one and I noticed some of his answers. One said he wants commitment which I thought was good. 🙂

Ooh! Also there was other stuff said while we were in bed cos we didn’t end up sleeping until about 6am. Jonas said “I love you” twice but when I asked him what he’d said he wouldn’t repeat it. He said he’s been thinking he loves me for about a week and a half 🙂 cos he’s never felt like he does about anyone before. He said he loves being with me and asked for a cuddle. He also said he was worried I’d be scared off and my ex (Jake) is sometimes in the back of his mind cos I went out with him for so long. I told him not to worry cos I feel the same, which is true cos I do. 🙂

I love Jonas! Hee hee!!


I didn’t just say that!” – 16th & 17th January 2002

Wednesday 16th to Thursday 17th  WOOHOO!!! My exams have finished! 🙂 Although I don’t think I’ll feel like celebrating when I get my results back.

My Molecular Science exam this morning was evil. I really don’t think there’s any way I can have passed it unless I did some really lucky guessing in the multiple choice section. We had 2 longer essay questions to do at the end and I really struggled. Everyone else thought it was okay so that didn’t really make me feel better either.

Kevin managed to piss me off before the exam. I was saying how I was worried about it and he came out with, “It’s good to know when you don’t need to revise.” Tosser! If anyone else had’ve said it. I would’ve taken it as a joke but he seemed genuinely smug about it. Grrr!!

I also got my last piece of coursework handed in today so I didn’t know what to do with myself when I got in. I texted Jonas and he replied saying, “I know what u can do! See me J x”. So, Jonas came round to mine. He ended up staying over. When he first arrived it was really nice. We were sat on my bed and then he cuddled me round my waist and said he’d missed me. He said so a couple of other times too. 🙂

Later on, he said, “You’re gorgeous, lovely and I love you” as he was lying on me, followed quickly by, “I didn’t just say that!” Cool! 🙂 I hope he meant it. I didn’t comment cos I didn’t want to embarrass him but I couldn’t stop smiling. I really missed him and I have been thinking to myself that I love him too. 🙂 There’s been a couple of times I felt like telling him but I would’ve been worried about scaring him. Mmm Jonas! 🙂 🙂 🙂


P.S. My next diary’s a silver one about the size of this one.

[There’s always stuff in the back of my diaries and this is what I found in this one. A post-it doodle of Jonas (I think), notes of some of his texts and a seemingly random bus ticket…]

Kinky knickers – 13th to 15th January 2002

Sunday 13th  I went to uni with Jonas today to check emails and stuff. We stayed in bed for a while this morning and did stuff (level 3). I really should change my sheets but the laundry lady might get suspicious if I keep doing it so often.

We won’t see each other for 3 days now cos of my damn exams. We said goodbye and he told me to text him.

All my flatmates except Lewis are back now so it’s back to normal. I don’t like it being too quiet.


Monday 14th  I had a totally disastrous Global Environmental Problems exam this morning. Everyone said they found it hard though which made me feel slightly better. I couldn’t answer loads of the questions and the annoying thing was that I looked at a lot of the stuff when revising but didn’t really take it in.

I told Jonas my exam was crap and he texted me back saying, “HUG! Just got me up. Off to town to spend in a bit! : ) x” I wish I could have a real hug off him.


Tuesday 15th  I had my Ecology & Pollution exam today. It was bad but not quite as traumatising as the one yesterday. I’ve now got a major Chemistry panic cos I’ve got my Molecular Sciences exam tomorrow. That’s the one I’m dreading most cos I’m hideously bad at it. I can’t blag my way through it quite as easily, although I’m not sure I was all that successful in the other 2 either.

Jonas texted me once today to say he’s taking his guitar to be fixed in Holme Valley and also “Might be going to Visage 2night. What u gonna spend money on. Kinky knickers?? x” Oh joy. While he’s off out, I’m stuck with bloody Chemistry revision. I would like to buy new underwear but the stupid cash machine at uni swallowed my TSB card. Ok, it was out of date but I’ve got a space in my purse now and I’ve left my new card at home.

At about 10pm I got another text from Jonas saying, “Hey sexy! : ) What you up to? Missing u, ahhh : ) What u doing 2mo then after ur exam? x”. Aww! He misses me 🙂 I miss him too. A lot!


He kept trying to give me love bites – 12th January 2002

Saturday 12th  Jonas came to stay at mine again tonight. He made me drink Lambrini (although I didn’t take much persuading) and then made me a collage of photos of me on my laptop. When we were lying in bed, Jonas said something like, “I wish I could stop thinking about you! I can’t get you out of my head!” 🙂 He then started asking about my fantasies again. I wouldn’t answer so he asked if I’ll tell him if we’re still together after 4 years or if we get married. I said I will. That then led onto him telling me his parents left school at 16, got married at 19 then had him year later.

After that, he started asking questions about periods. It’s not exactly my favourite topic of conversation but never mind. He said he doesn’t mind doing stuff even though I’m on and suggested putting a towel down cos he said Dave used to do that with his girlfriend. Yuck! I refused. He said he just wants to make me happy.

I changed the subject and asked if he’s likely to be gay. He said he isn’t cos he likes me so much and he wouldn’t react to me if he was. Fairy nuff!

He kept trying to give me love bites and when I asked why, he mumbled what sounded like “cos I love you” but when I asked what he said he told me “cos I want to bite you”. Hmm.

He kept cuddling and smiling at me and said he doesn’t want to sleep on his own. He also said, “God damn, you’re beautiful” and “You’re great”. He’s so lovely! 🙂

He printed off a picture of me in a Santa hat saying he’ll need it for when he doesn’t see me. He said I’m not bad at singing and I told him I’m on the pill but said it’s for stomach cramps, not the real reason (spots). He likes the way I look by the sounds of it so I don’t want him to go off me if he thinks I’m going to become hideously ugly. Hopefully he’s not that shallow but you never know and I don’t want to risk it. I also made it clear I don’t want to rely on the pill. He seemed to understand what I meant which is good.


He’ll probably burst – 11th January 2002

Friday 11th  Jonas stayed at mine tonight. We’re much more cuddly now than we used to be and I like it. I was cuddling him whilst stood up and then I moved and he wanted me back.

He told me that on his birthday he only spoke to me cos he was slightly tipsy which gave him a bit more confidence. He also said that he likes people more when he’s drunk (he wasn’t referring to when we met) and his emotions are 10 times what they normally are so he said if he gets drunk with me now he’ll probably burst cos he likes me so much anyway. 🙂 He also said, “You’re great!” out of nowhere. 🙂

He said he doesn’t cross the line to like people more than normal very often but he has with me. He told me I’m irresistible and wants to eat me too, along with saying I have a nice body. I don’t think I’ve ever had so many compliments in such a short space of time as the time I’ve been with him. 🙂

Jonas had an email from Russell saying I was looking fit on the pictures Sarah and Michael have put on the internet.

Jonas said he’s going to miss me when he can’t see me for 3 days when I’m doing exams. I’ll miss him too.


7 = threesome – 10th January 2002

Thursday 10th  I went to Jonas’s tonight cos he’s got E4 on a TV and I wanted to watch Friends and ER. We went in the basement bit to watch it and then something about Linkin Park afterwards. I’ve never been downstairs before. We cuddled on the sofa and he kept me warm.

After watching TV, we went upstairs and Jonas put some snowboarding game on his Playstation. He then said he was going to serenade me and played his guitar at me. I discovered he had a Formula 1 obsession too.

He’s put my photo on the wall and said everyone who’s seen it thought I was pretty but he said I’m prettier in real life. To that I said, “Aww! I like you!” and he said he liked me too, like really seriously as if he really meant it and wasn’t just saying so cos I did first. 🙂 He also said, “How come you’re so sexy?!” to me.

We had another long talk about more stuff when we were in bed. He told me how far he’s got with certain people. We used my system of ‘levels’ that I use with my mates so he could just say a number rather than actually tell me. The levels (or ‘bases’ as he calls them) are:

(My mates have further levels e.g. 6 = up the backside, 7 = threesome etc. but I didn’t mention those!)

Anyway, Jonas said he got to level 3 with some girl called Nicola cos she was naked on his bed but he only did 3 to her, not the other way round. He said when he was 9, some 11 year old girl and he showed each other their bits then lay on each other to try and make a baby. Hmmm!

Jonas asked me if I’d ever been in love. I said yes cos of Jake. He said he thought he had been with a girl called Rhian but wasn’t really. She dumped him after she got back off holiday after going out with him for a few weeks. He said he doesn’t really know what love is yet.

He then asked what my fantasy was. I wouldn’t tell him cos I genuinely couldn’t think but I managed to find out one of his. It was that he was in school and had a girl over a desk while everyone else was working and not noticing. Apparently that was from when he was much younger though. He asked what I liked (as in bed) cos he said he wants to please me but I couldn’t say. Hopefully he’ll work it out.

I asked Jonas if any girl has stood out from the rest. He said I do cos I’m his first proper relationship. He said Jake doesn’t bother him cos he’s laid back about stuff like that. I’m glad really. I also asked if I’d get a mention in conversations with future girlfriends. He said, “Nooo!” I think as in, “No, I don’t want to think about future girlfriends”, not that I wouldn’t get mentioned. I said he’s stuck with me for the time being and he said he doesn’t mind. He said he’d told himself he didn’t want a girlfriend before he met me but he did really cos he wanted someone to hug and stuff.

Later on, he suddenly came out with, “You’ve got really nice breasts” and asked what it feels like to squeeze them. I didn’t answer.

Jonas then tried to tie me up again and give me a lovebite but it didn’t really work.

We were more cuddly tonight than we ever have been before tonight. 🙂


I kept setting fire to things – 9th January 2002 (continued)

Wednesday 9th  Jonas came round to my flat again tonight. We watched TV, listened to music then went to bed. I kept tickling him so he managed to tie my wrists together with our watch straps to stop me and tickle me back. He tried to tie me up with my school tie but didn’t quite manage.

We talked a lot after that about all sorts of stuff. He told me that he thought I wasn’t interested when we met on his birthday. He said I wasn’t speaking much and didn’t make a move (neither did he) and I kept setting fire to things in an ashtray. He said he’d had a crap day until he met me and on his way home, Sid started going on about being the best man at his wedding. I don’t think that was related to me though.

We started talking about people we’ve been with in the past. He said he’s been dumped about 9 times but that’s including when he was little. He said the last person he snogged before me was about 4 and a half months ago. He was 26 and not at uni and she took advantage of his drunken state. He said he was dumped by a girl when he was 10 cos she snogged his best mate in the cloakroom cos Jonas wouldn’t snog her due to him not knowing how to. Ahh! He said he’d fancied her for ages too.

He told me he dumped the girl who he was with for about 3 months cos he never really liked her (she stalked him) and she was a bit tarty. She cried when he dumped her and so did he cos she was. That was the girl whose horoscope he found amusing and also the longest he’s ever been with someone so far. Apparently I’m not the 2nd longest relationship he’s had. He also dumped the girl from Crewe (Natasha who’s Dave’s mate) cos she lived too far away and she hardly spoke when sober.

He asked me questions too such as when, where and who I lost my virginity to. He thought for a minute it was to him cos I wouldn’t answer and was grinning. I told him eventually that it was Jake and also he was the last person I slept with so Jonas now knows my tally and all.

Jonas said his virginity loss was a very scary experience for him. It took me a while to get him to tell me but eventually I found out it happened about 2 weeks before he came to uni (he was 17) at his cousin’s party. Someone set him up with a girl cos they said he couldn’t go to uni a virgin. Anyway, the scary bit was that he started bleeding a lot. He said he was told that it sometimes happens to lads but he said he was very upset and cried and worried for ages afterwards.

He also said he doesn’t want to dump me. GOOD!! 🙂


“I’d just settled the bugger down!” – 7th to 9th January 2002

Monday 7th  I didn’t think Jonas wanted to see me tonight but he did. 🙂 We kissed a lot more than we used to which I liked. I went round to his and he told me as we were lying in bed that I looked a bit like a girl on one of his posters. I thought she was really pretty so I was flattered already but then he said I was prettier. 🙂

Jonas went out to the toilet then came back, snuggled up and said, “Damn you!” to me whilst grinning at me. I asked why and he said, “I’d just settled the bugger down!” Cool!

He told me I’m the first girl that’s been in the bed he’s got now. That’s good!


Tuesday 8th to Wednesday 9th  P. [period]

I was a bit worried on Tuesday cos I should’ve come on my period but didn’t. I’m never normally even a day late. Not that Jonas has ever given me a reason to worry really!

I came on my period in the morning much to my relief and then had to actually get up and out of bed fairly early to meet Jen at uni so we could get some Ecology + Pollution coursework done. We weren’t very successful in that though, as usual!