I deserve better than the back of a car! – 27th June 2000

Tuesday 27th I saw quite a bit of Jake today cos he had an exam this afternoon so he came in this morning to “revise”! I waited after college for his exam to end so I saw him then and all.

I’ve gained another photo of me and Jake from Hayley. →

Tess & Jake

She took it when we were in The Dog on Sarah’s birthday and she thought it was quite good so she said I could have it. Jake wants a copy to take round Europe with him cos he says I’m nearly doing the face he likes me doing or something!

Hayley persuaded Jake and me to go to the Sports Club tonight with her, Georgia and Gethin so she could stalk her cricketer. He was there and said hi but he didn’t stop long. Hayley then asked Jake if he’d drive her up to see the cricketer’s house and he agreed but he couldn’t start the car because someone had done something to the spark plugs or whatever! We got going eventually and Jake was just about to miss Mowley Common Lane when Hayley pointed it out. We then skidded round the corner, leaving tyre marks on the road and an old man looking very shocked!

We drove to the chippy then and some rather large girl ran across the park. Hayley and Georgia were laughing very loudly and then Hayley said something like she should buy a bra! The car window was open and she must have heard that cos she have us the filthiest look!!

Then we went and sat on the park (but only after the girl had gone cos we were scared!) with the chips. We were joined by Charlie Wilson cos the Venture Scouts were at The Beech Tree pub. He started talking about their Europe trip so I stopped listening!

Jake’s sorted it out now so that he should be getting out Swing Band bus back to England with us after the Holland trip.

I had a couple of nice messages off him when I got home saying, “TONIGHT JUST SEEMED STRANGE – THE FACT THAT I’M GOING ACTUALLY HIT ME! I CAN’T EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND HOW MUCH I’M GONNA MISS U! HOPE YOU KNOW THAT!…” and then, “TONIGHT WAS GOOD COS I SAW YOU – BUT THE FEELING INSIDE WHEN YOU CLOSE THAT DOOR AND I DRIVE OFF JUST CUTS ME UP! YEH I CAN C U AFTER COLLEGE ONE DAY! LOVE YOU! xJx”.

I then said how I’d end up staying in his car all night if I stayed with him longer and then I jokingly pointed out that he doesn’t do cars! He then told me that I deserve better than the back of a car!

Bye!

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I’m the best mate a lad could have!  – 26th June 2000

Monday 26th We had the first day of the Biology field trip today on the Ainsdale sand dunes. It was quite good cos all we had to do was quadratting and stuff but I’ve come home very sunburnt!

Ainsdale - star wars

I’ve been told that there’s no school on Friday cos of Warrington Walking Day (I’ve never known what that is!) so I told Jake and he asked me to go to Alton Towers with him and loads of his mates. I don’t really know if I want to cos I felt like a right loner at Alex’s party and I don’t want it to be like that again. Although he’s going away on Sunday and I want to see as much of him as possible.

When I got back, Jake texted me to see if I wanted a lift home but my mum had just arrived. I also asked if he’d had a message from Gethin cos I had, saying that I’m the best mate a lad could have! Jake said, “DAMN… NEARLY! YEH JUST GOT ONE OFF GETH – SAID HE’LL RING ME LATER?? DON’T KNOW WHAT ABOUT! URRRGH… LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH! : ) xxxJxxx”.

I only wanted to write that one down cos of the last bit! I don’t think it was meant to sound disgusted, I think it was more of a frustrated thing!

Bye!

She wanked the cricketer off in a bus shelter – 24th June 2000

Saturday 24th This morning I got a message of Jake saying, “ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT NOW IS YOU LYING ON THAT SOFA WITH YOUR FLEECE ON! : ) SOOOOO CUTE!!! UH! NOW YOU’VE DONE IT – I CAN’T CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING ELSE : ) LOVE xJx”. It’s sort of nice to hear that you have that effect on someone!

At about 3:00pm, Auntie S, Uncle G, Rhian, Tom and Minnie arrived here. They’re stopping over for the night cos they’re getting on a plane from Manchester airport to Florida tomorrow morning. It’s nearly a year since I last saw my cousins so it was nice to see them and Auntie S and Uncle G. We went for our tea at The Green Dragon across the road so Tom and Minnie could got in the play area bit.

I got a message from Jake this afternoon saying he’d got out of an 8 hour shift at work so we could go out. I was torn between seeing him or staying with Rhian and co. Rhian’s 14 now so she wanted to go out tonight as well so I asked Jake if he’d mind if Rhian and Abby came out with us too. He said he didn’t so we arranged to go to the cinema at the Trafford Centre.

Sarah phoned me at one point and asked if anything was happening so I told her. It turned out she was working until 8:00pm so I said we could meet her there and that Jake would probably give her a lift home seeing as it’s on the way back.

So, all the arrangements worked well, until Abby decided to invite Connor. I told her while she was asking him that there wasn’t room in the car but she ignored me even though she heard me. I don’t know why she couldn’t have just gone one night without seeing him cos he’s been round here all week! I have to cope without seeing Jake!

She was digging her heels in though, saying we could squash everyone in (which we couldn’t have done!) and I got really frustrated and ended up getting upset… again! I really don’t know what’s wrong with me at the moment but every time I get angry or something I end up in tears! Uncle G ended up giving Abby and Rhian money to get a taxi back. That wouldn’t have been necessary if Connor wasn’t going.

The other reason I didn’t really want Connor to come is that when he and Abby are together, she acts like she’s well hard and they both take the piss (nastily), calling us sad and stuff cos we don’t go out to places like town on a Friday night!

Anyway, it all got sorted in the end cos Abby, Rhian and Connor got a taxi (although Rhian could’ve had a lift). We went to see Drive Me Crazy in the end. It was okay, nice and cheerful! The only problem was that the main lad in the film’s mum had died of cancer and it got mentioned. Jake didn’t react but Sarah and Abby said they felt uncomfortable afterwards.

Jake and I managed to cuddle up to each other in our seats and he rested my hand on his leg so I had to shift my legs so the others couldn’t see. I didn’t actually do anything else though. I really wanted to snog him but it felt weird in front of Abby and Rhian and I didn’t want Rhian feeling like a gooseberry or something!

Rhian told me that she thought Connor was only “alright” and that he scared her but she thought Jake’s very nice.

On the way home, Hayley rang Sarah. She spoke to us both and told us that she wanked the cricketer off in a bus shelter! I just would not phone everyone and tell them straight away! In fact, I’ve never said anything about me and Jake to anyone.

When she’d gone, Jake was letting us know how disgusted he was by what she’d done, saying that it’s a really slutty thing to do and that he’d have no respect for a girl who did something like that so soon after meeting him.

Later on, I got a message off Jake and we somehow ended up having a text conversation about us never being alone. He told me he’d never do stuff in a car down a dark lane but he said he’d “sort something out”. I’m not quite sure what though!

Bye!

Every so often he’d keep saying, “Hey man!” – 23rd June 2000

Friday 23rd Other than the Geography exam which I didn’t finish (ran out of time), today was pretty good!

I saw Jake for most of the morning because he and his mates were sorting stuff out for their Europe trip in college. I realised that we really don’t talk much to each other but the silences aren’t awkward anymore! That’s good, I suppose! All we really did was sit in the common room and cuddle or hold hands.

I saw him again after college for quite a while when our exams were over (he’d had a practical one for Physics). Then we just sat on a table and cuddled! I just don’t want to let go of him at the moment cos I know he’s going away in about a week. We got chance to kiss properly too cos college was so quiet due to most people being on exam leave.

Tonight, Hayley, Sarah, Gethin, Jake and I all went out to The Dog. We were joined by the Appleton lot because Sarah’s been keeping in contact with Maz. He turned up along with Nathan Holmes, Gavin Bilson and his girlfriend Laura, some lad called Milo and another lad whose name I don’t know.

Sarah and Maz just snogged all night and Gethin and Hayley got bored so ended up walking home earlier than the rest of us.

Jake and I just cuddled again and talked. I asked him why the hell he first liked me cos I don’t exactly stand out and he told me that, ages ago, Emma had told him that I had one of the nicest figures she knew of and he’d noticed and agreed! He was also saying how he’s so glad I’m a nice person too (hmm!) cos he didn’t really know me and I couldn’t turned out to be a right bitch! He also said that he doesn’t understand why I first liked him either!

Later I was just sat there and I caught him just staring at me and grinning! I asked him why he was doing it and he told me I’m just nice to look at!

All night at various points he’d just groan to himself (but still smiling!) and snuggle up more or squeeze me tighter! When I asked why, he just kept saying that it was cos he didn’t want to be split up from me and stuff! I agreed and started moaning too and he said he thought he was going to cry! He said he couldn’t squeeze me as hard as he wants to cos he’d crush me and he wouldn’t want that!

To anyone else, hearing him say stuff like that would probably make them want to puke but I think he is soooo sweet and really don’t want him to go anywhere. He told me that if he could go back in time he wouldn’t go to Canada either.

Sarah left with the Appleton lot so Jake and I walked to the Chinese and then back to mine on our own. We ate and then went and lay on the sofa in the back room and kissed and cuddled again. I was very jumpy cos I knew my Dad could get back from the pub at any time. Abby and Connor got in first but when they went to bed (Connor stopped in the spare room), Jake and I got back on the sofa.

Then my dad did get in so we went and sat in the kitchen instead. I thought Dad was just drunk cos he staggered in, grinning and slurring his words whilst making a coffee. Then he said, “I was alright until I had that… erm…” then he stopped to look for something and Jake and I were expecting him to name some drink. But then he said, “I only had a couple of drags but it doesn’t half work quickly!”

We were both sat in shock as Dad went on about these spliffs being passed round in The Mossland pub and how he thought he might as well try it!! Then every so often he’d keep saying, “Hey man!” or something! It was soooo funny (although slightly embarrassing!) and when he’d gone we just burst out laughing and Jake said, “You’ve got a top dad!!”

Unfortunately, Jake had to leave eventually to get his taxi home but I got a couple of messages off him. One just said that the taxi driver was getting lost and the other said, “WELL WORTH STAYING AT YOURS – GOT TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU AND SEE YOUR TOP DAD – MELLOW YELLOW MAN! : ) LOVE YOU TO BITS!!! xxx JAKE xxx”.

I love him sooooooo much!!!

Bye!

Jacking off in his cupboard – 22nd June 2000

Thursday 22nd Today turned out to be quite good in the end. I was beginning to doubt I wanted to go this morning cos I didn’t want to be getting the way of any lad chats! Sarah ended up coming too which I was quite pleased about, otherwise I’d have been stuck with Jake, Gethin and Robbie Taylor (who I will call MiniTaylor in this diary from now on due to there being too many Roberts and Jake gets called ‘Taylor’ by most people!). It was just quite funny cos Gethin was being a prick so MiniTaylor was taking the piss out of him but Sarah was still worshipping the ground Gethin walked on!

We spent most of our time in Starbucks as usual but trekked round the shops for a bit. Jake went in River Island (the bloke bit of course!) to look at some bandanas! He’d better not get one! Both Taylor lads wear Quiksilver stuff (sad!) so we kept losing them both to it this time!

I got left on a bench with Jake for a while cos we couldn’t be bothered moving. The others wandered off and came back talking about MiniTaylor jacking off in his cupboard or something?! I didn’t want to know!

We then saw Ewan Swann (prat!) and Maisie Jones and then decided to go home!

I had a message before saying, “HELLO! DID YOU JUST HEAR THE THUNDER? IT’S FINALLY ARRIVED! HOW’S THE REVISION GOING? I’M SO GLAD YOU CAME TODAY! I’M MISSING YOU NOW THOUGH! LOVE YOU!!! : ) xxx”. That pleased me in the middle of my Geography revision! I’ve got my last external exam tomorrow!

Found out from MiniTaylor that their sister’s read Jake’s text messages! I’m going to have to get his phone off him and read them cos I can’t remember what I put!

Bye!

I look funny when I’m wet! – 21st June 2000

Wednesday 21st Jake came round to my house this afternoon. My parents weren’t in and Abby had Connor over so I said it was okay for him to come. We really didn’t do much at all! We went to the chippy at lunch and on the way back we took a detour down Mowley Common Lane to see where the cricketer lives cos Hayley said it’s number 14. If it is then we noticed a creamy coloured Beetle at the back of the garage! Hayley also told me his phone number because it’s only got a one number difference to mine. I think she’s decided it’s some sort of sign cos her “best” friend’s got a similar number! Whatever!

After that, we got back, got bored and so took Rosie for a walk round the field and through the woods. We kissed whenever she stopped to sniff at something, just to pass the time of course. On the way back it started raining so we both got totally soaked. He told me I look funny when I’m wet! Cheers!

We went in my room when we got back but didn’t do much cos we kept getting interrupted by Abby or someone on the phone for me. Once it was Gethin telling me to tell Jake to phone him and he made me really suspicious when he wouldn’t say why!

Kickboxing was good tonight. We were doing the combinations for the grading next week and Dave the instructor came over to me and Abby, told us what we were doing was excellent and then he asked how come we can do it but none of the other girls can?! We were pleased about that!

I got a message as soon as I’d finished kickboxing from Jake saying, “HI!!! : ) I KNOW YOU’RE AT K’BOXING SO I WON’T SEND U MSGS ASKING WHY YOU HAVEN’T REPLIED! : ) I’M SORRY – I AGREED LAST WEEK WITH GETHIN THAT WE’D GO TRAFFORD CENTRE ON OUR OWN TMW! : ( x”.

I was sooo annoyed when I read that cos he’d said earlier that I’d get to see him tomorrow. I think I was annoyed at Gethin for preventing us from being together and annoyed at Jake for agreeing to go! Basically, I was just totally disappointed at the thought of not seeing him cos he’s going away to Europe soon!

I sent him one back asking why they were going and stuff and he said, “I’M SORRY! I ONLY REMEMVERED WHEN I RANG HIM BEFORE! IT WAS COZ HE WAS FEELING DOWN WHEN EVERYONE WAS ANNOYED WITH HIM! DID YOU HEAR WHAT SARAH SENT HAYLEY IN A MSG? xJx”. I think he was trying to change the subject at the end of that message!

I was still so angry after that one! I felt like crying but I just about managed to control myself for fear of turning into Hayley (crying all the time)!! I then told Jake that I wasn’t annoyed with Gethin anymore and asked if it was cos he had more stuff to tell Gethin, which was a bit of a dig about the cruise thing!

He said, “IT’S NOT JUST COS OF THAT – THINK HE JUST LIKES TALKING TO ME! HAVEN’T GO ANYTHING TO TELL HIM! WHAT AND WHY WOULD I TELL HIM? IT’S ONLY LIKE YOU AND SARAH GOING SHOPPING.”

I explained that I’d meant that he always seems to tell Gethin everything but then I thought I was being a bit hard on him cos he’s allowed to have friends! I put after that that it didn’t matter and that I was just being selfish. I pointed out that he always comes with me and Sarah if he can. I then got 3 in reply saying, “: ( DON’T SAY THAT – YOU ALWAYS SAY IT DOESN’T MATTER! IT DOES! DO YOU THINK I LIKE BEING APART? COS I HATE IT! I WANT U TO COME!! BUT I AGREED!…” and then, “(HE TOLD ME YOU HAD AN EXAM) YOU’RE RIGHT – I DO GO WITH YOU AND SARAH! ONLY TOLD GETHIN ABOUT THE HOLIDAY COS I DIDN’T WANT TO UPSET YOU FOR NO REASON! I FEEL AWFUL NOW!…” and lastly, “I DON’T WANT 1 SECOND WITHOUT YOU, NEVER MIND 1 DAY! I LOVE YOU! x”.

If he was trying to make me forgive him with the last message then it worked! I told him that my exam finished at 11:00 am and whinged about him going away in a week and a half! He said, “WELL HE’LL JUST HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE 2 OF US THEN! I DON’T WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS ALL OF 2MORROW! I DON’T KNOW WHY HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND…” and then, “BUT THEN MAYBE HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT LOVE FEELS LIKE! – I DO AND I DON’T CARE WHAT HE SAYS ABOUT IS ALWAYS BEING 2GETHER – YOU’RE COMING! LOVE xJx”.

That message pleased me a lot to begin with cos he wants me to go but then I started feeling guilty cos I felt like I’d forced my way into being able to go! I told him pretty much that and he said, “THIS IS SILLY! NOW WE BOTH FEEL AWFUL! NO YOU’VE GOTTA COME! ANYWAY I FORGOT – MY BRO IS COMING – HE CAN TALK TO GETHIN! NEED 2 C U! DON’T NEED TO CHAT – WE’RE NOT GIRLS! x”.

I asked why his brother was going and he told me, “COS HE’S FINISHED HIS EXAMS AND DOESN’T WANT TO BE STUCK AT HOME ALONE! YOU’VE REALLY CHEERED ME UP NOW! : ) CAN’T IMAGINE WHAT LIFE WOULD BE LIKE WITHOUT YOU! xxx”.

I’m not sure how I’d cheered him up but I was certainly happier than after I’d got the 1st message!

Bye!

Perhaps in a mad fit of passion!! – 20th June 2000

Tuesday 20th I decided to send Jake a message at about 11:00 last night cos I thought he’d be home by then. I just asked if he had any exams before Friday and told him about Cat and Floyd breaking a bed (perhaps in a mad fit of passion!!) and, to my relief, he sent one back. I wasn’t sure if he wanted me sending messages but he didn’t seem to mind. He said, “NO HAVEN’T GOT AN EXAM!! WHY – ARE YOU IN COLLEGE? IT WAS MY MUM’S FUNERAL THIS AFTERNOON – JUST HAD A BIG MEAL AT THE HOTEL WITH FRIENDS! LOVE YOU TOO – LOTS!!! xJx”.

So he finally decided to tell me… after it was over! I suppose at least he said something eventually. I sent him one back saying I knew about the funeral cos loads of other people had told me. I also said I was meeting Hayley and Gethin in college so we could go to Sarah’s today. He said, “WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THE FUNERAL? – I THINK I ONLY TOLD GETHIN! I DIDN’T WANT TO SAY COS YOU WERE REVISING! SO SHOULD I COME IN AT ABOUT 11am? LOVE xJx”.

I suppose he had no reason to think that I couldn’t concentrate on my revision anyway cos I already knew and was worrying cos he hadn’t said anything! As for him telling Gethin about it, well, I nearly cried again! That really upset me that he’d told Gethin and not me. I also remembered that on Friday he told me he’s going on a cruise for 2 weeks with Hugo on the 19th August and later on I found out that Gethin had known about it for ages before me! I’m not pleased about that at all!

Anyway, I told Jake that loads of people have been asking/telling me about the funeral all week and that I had to say I didn’t know much about it which caused me to get some weird looks! He said, “SORRY – HOPE YOU DON’T FEEL TOO STUPID! SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU!” The rest of that message was just about going to Sarah’s.

I sent him another saying it was okay but I’ve been getting the feeling that some people think I don’t care and that I do. I also asked if he tells Gethin everything! His reply was, “I KNOW YOU CARE! ONLY TOLD G COS HE ASKED WHAT I WAS DOING THIS AFTERNOON! MY NEXT EXAM IS FRI! SO IS EVERYONE FRIENDS AGAIN THEN?? LOVE YOU LOTS!!! : ) xJx”. It made me feel a bit better when he said that Gethin had asked cos if I’d have asked he’d probably have told me too.

There were a few messages after that saying about his Europe holiday and how I’ll apparently “need my friends”. I told him that I don’t need them as much as everyone seems to think cos they’re all acting like I’m going to have a nervous breakdown or something while he’s away! His reaction to that was, “AAH!!! GONNA THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME! YOU WON’T HAVE A BREAKDOWN! YOU’RE TOO STRONG AND I’M GONNA CALL YOU ALL THE TIME!! : ) xJx”. I really don’t know where he’s getting the idea that I’m “strong” or whatever from!!

The 4 of us went to see Sarah today like we arranged. We didn’t do much! We just sat about, watched The Full Monty on video and listened to music. Jake told me I was “cuddly” again and he said he wanted to eat my arm and take my nose away with him! Hmmm… I think someone’s gone a bit mad! It must be the hot weather we’re having at the moment!

We were discussing this “fit” cricketer that Hayley’s found at the Sports Club and I agreed to go with her to see him tonight. Jake started telling me that he didn’t want me to chase any cricketers and that he doesn’t trust Hayley not to lead me astray! He’s not that keen on the idea of me going on Hayley’s brother’s girlfriend’s hen night to Blackpool either!

Yet again, the Canada subject came up. He told me that he won’t have a good time all the time cos he’ll have to sit and read or something due to the drinking age being 21 where he’s going! Someone asked how he’d cope without alcohol and he said, “I can cope without alcohol, I just can’t cope without Tessa!” That made me smile!

Tonight I went and watch England being beaten by Romania 😦 at the Sports Club and also to see that cricketer! He’s not that nice at all and he looks like Robert G from a distance which isn’t good at all!! Hayley’s found out he’s called Paul and lives up Mowley Common Lane. That’s near my house so I hope Hayley’s not going to be round here at every possible opportunity now!

Bye!